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7 innate traits that make Middle Children the best children

It's not an opinion, it's science.

via Wikimedia Commons/ABC Television and Wikimedia Commons/ABC Television
Eve Plumb and Christopher Knight from "The Brady Bunch"

Just think of the list: Stephanie Tanner, Jan Brady, Cory Matthews. Where would we be without these iconic middle children who made for such great TV in the 60s-90s? And let's not forget Malcolm in the Middle, which managed to get an entire seven-season run out of all the conflict experienced by the misunderstood and overlooked middle child.

August 12 is National Middle Child Day in America, dedicated to recognizing the sibling in the middle. It’s a special day to highlight the kids who often get lost in the familial mix while the youngest hogs all the attention and the eldest has all the responsibilities.

Elizabeth Walker founded the day in the 1980s because she thought middle children were “left out.” But we think the great traits of being the kid in the middle are worth highlighting any day of the week.

When people discuss the plight of these kids, they often bring up Middle Child Syndrome, which some say leads kids caught in the middle to feel rebellious or have a chip on their shoulder. However, at Upworthy, we like looking at the bright side of things, so we’ve made a list of the 7 traits that make middle children amazing.

1. They’re good kids

Research shows that historically, middle children have been the most behaved out of the bunch. One study in 1964 and another in 2009 found that middle children were the least likely to act out.

Middle children have been shown to be humble, honest, and agreeable. The fact that they get less attention and have a less defined role in the family can lead to high levels of independence and self-sufficiency from a young age.

middle kids, middle children, middle child day, siblings, brother, sister, family, love, parents, parenting, adult children Stephanie Tanner: iconic middle child. Giphy

2. They’re wonderful team players

Middle children are the way to go if you’re building a team, whether on the field or in the office. “They become more independent, think outside the box, feel less pressure to conform, and are more empathetic,” Katrin Schumann, author of "The Secret Power of Middle Children," told Psychology Today. “This gives them great skills as employees and also makes them excellent team players and partners.”

Did you know that Michael Jordan was a middle child? To be fair, he was known to be a near-psychotic competitor and not the kindest teammate around, but he knew how to get the job done. Simone Biles was a middle child, too! Can't argue with that.

3. They are successful

Schumann also says middle children are more successful than their older and younger siblings. She notes that at least 52% of US presidents were middle children, as were Warren Buffet, Mark Zuckerberg, Jennifer Lopez, Princess Diana and the aforementioned Michael Jordan.

"When they realize how many the useful skills they've developed as a result of being in the middle, they are empowered in ways that positively influence their lives," Schumann said, according to Business Insider. The expert claims that middle children are successful because they had to vie for attention and aren't used to giving up on what they want.”

middle kids, middle children, middle child day, siblings, brother, sister, family, love, parents, parenting, adult children Joe Jonas: the best Jonas? Giphy

4. They are great negotiators

Middle children must develop excellent negotiating skills because they are at a power disadvantage in the home. "When middleborns are growing up, they don't get their way because they're the biggest and they don't get their way because they're the baby who was indulged,” Catherine Salmon, PhD. told CBS News.

They learn to be clever and crafty to get what they want. They also develop a more easy-going nature when things don't go their way. They're used to being overlooked in one way or another, and don't get as bent out of shape about it as the youngest and oldest sometimes do.

5. They’re humble

Middle children have to learn humility the hard way because their birth order makes them the least important in the bunch. But even though it’s a harsh lesson, the benefits are great. “Humility can produce more happiness, positive emotions, and well-being because a person has a clearer understanding of the self,” Tiara BLain writes in a PsyD-reviewed article for Verywell Mind. “They are able to be comfortable with who they are and who they are not.”

middle kids, middle children, middle child day, siblings, brother, sister, family, love, parents, parenting, adult children Malcoln knows the struggle intimately. Giphy

6. They are creative

Middle children may also be more creative because they are “trying to be different from their elder and younger sibling,” Michele Borba, Ed.D., writes. Given that the eldest and youngest naturally stand out, the middle child may have to work a bit harder to receive attention for their creativity, so they push themselves further.

It could also be that middle children get a little more alone time spent in solitude to pursue creative endeavors.

middle kids, middle children, middle child day, siblings, brother, sister, family, love, parents, parenting, adult children Jan had a hard time getting over her jealousy of the older Marcia. Giphy

7. They’re likeable

Suzanne Degges-White, PhD, says middle children may be more “agreeable” and easygoing” than their siblings. “They are more extroverted, as well,” she writes. “They don’t have to lead the pack, and they don’t get the 'babying' their younger siblings do. This allows them a bit more freedom to be themselves.”

What's more is that the likability and agreeableness of middle children was found to be higher the more children a family had. So when kids get even more "lost in the shuffle" in a four or five-children household, some of these traits and phenomenon become amplified. That also means the household has multiple middle children; anyone who's not the oldest or youngest qualifies for the label.

Ultimately, we’re all individuals, so not all middle children will develop these qualities. It depends how much stock you want to put into birth order theory. Some believe that birth order plays a monumental role in your personality and the trajectory of your life. Others are more skeptical. There's no denying, however, that oldests, youngests, and middles receive different amounts and kinds of parenting due to the nature of the family hierarchy. One study showed that youngest children, for example, get 3,000 more hours of quality time with their parents during their key childhood years than other siblings. That's a massive difference!

In any case, it’s nice to take a second and heap some praise on the kids who may have felt a little neglected during childhood by letting them know that they are special, too.

Just not as special as Marsha. “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!”

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Dad swears by this money-saving alternative to 'stressful' AP classes

"Skip AP completely. Don't even bother.”

@imperfectdad/TikTok

This could save so much time and money.

On paper, AP classes, aka Advanced Placement courses, seem like a great opportunity to help teens get ahead. They get an early taste of college-level curriculum while earning college credit before high school ends, and therefore get advanced placement once actual college rolls around.

But one dad argues that in reality, they are a waste of time and money, and suggests a rather brilliant alternative:

“If you have a kid in high school, I'm going to tell you right now, do not put your kid in AP classes,” began content creator “Imperfect Dad” in a now-viral clip posted to TikTok.

@imperfectdad__ Save money on college, do dual enrollment not AP classes #college #money ♬ original sound - ImperfectDad | Husband | Life

“It's going to be a complete waste of their time, and you're going to stress them out for no reason,” he continued.

His advice? Instead, opt for dual enrollment at a nearby college.

While most high schools don’t advertise this option as much as they would for AP classes, Imperfect Dad explained that, “Your high school probably has a dual enrollment program with your local community college, meaning your kid can take college-level classes, and they will actually take over for some of their high school classes.”

There are a few advantages to this method, Imperfect Dad argues. One, there’s far less pressure than with AP classes (which many experts and AP survivors can attest to). Two, not every college accepts AP classes for credit, making the pressure even more unnecessary. Three, the amount of time and money saved is, as Imperfect Dad put it, “immeasurable.”

@imperfectdad__ Replying to @Erik Alvarez some of them were stressed! #college ♬ original sound - ImperfectDad | Husband | Life


He of course speaks from experience, as he initiated this strategy with his own daughter. In lieu of AP classes, she did dual enrollment, only attending one class, and racking up so many credits that now, one semester later, she’s starting her FIRST day of college as a junior.

“This first semester, she has one class. It's like a 2000-level class. And then everything else is right toward her major. You're going to save yourself a lot of money. Do the dual enrollment classes. Skip AP completely. Don't even bother,” Imperfect Dad concluded.

Down in the comments, thousands were inclined to agree. Many of whom chose this path and reaped the benefits.

“As an AP teacher…..this is pretty much true,”

“I did this. Got into UCLA and now have a Doctorate in Pharmacy,”

“My son is doing dual enrollment and graduating with an Associates and an HS diploma!”

There were also plenty of folks who shared their own horror stories of taking AP classes and now wishing they hadn’t.

“I took 6 AP classes in high school and not a single credit applied to my college transcript."

However, as useful as dual enrollment can be, it’s worth knowing some of the disadvantages as well. For example, some private and out-of-state colleges might be more stringent in their transfer policies, so it still behooves students to check. Second, if a student does not do well in a dual enrollment class, that grade will travel with them throughout their college career. Third, there might be some difficult travel logistics to contend with, depending on where the nearby community college is. Fourth, not every high school offers dual enrollment.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Still, many parents just like Imperfect Dad might find that the pros far outweigh the cons, which is why more parents and students should know about the option!

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Teen parenting expert shares the one phrase to use when your teen brings up a risky topic

Be prepared for the next time your teen brings up sex, drugs or social media drama.

via Dr. Lisa Damour and Canva/Photos

Dr. Lisa Damour and a mother and her teen going through a crisis.

If you are the parent of a teenager, there are a lot of topics they may bring up that are scary to think about, whether it's drugs, sex, social media drama, or whether they can get a nose ring. Every day, something is bound to come up for which you may not be prepared.

That’s why it’s good to have a response in your back pocket; when they bring up a challenging topic out of nowhere, you can respond in a healthy way instead of overreacting. In June 2025 at a panel discussion on Anxious Boys, Lonely Girls at the Aspen Ideas: Health festival, psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour said the best response to an uncomfortable topic is: “Tell me what you think about that.”

Dr. Damour is a psychologist specializing in teens, the author of three New York Times bestsellers, and host of Ask Lisa, a free podcast where she answers parenting questions every week.

teens, social media, teen on phone, parents, upset mom, teen at table, A teenager looking at her smartphone.via Canva/Photos

Tell me what you think about that

Dr. Damour further explained her ideas to Upworthy, noting there are two significant benefits for parents who have this response readily available. “The first value of having a phrase like, ‘Tell me what you think about that,’ is that it lets you collect yourself and let's you buy some time before you have a reaction that you regret,” Dr. Damour told Upworthy. “The second is that it will dictate the conversation you need to have.”

Dr. Damour says that by encouraging your teen to share their feelings on uncomfortable topics, such as their friends taking weed gummies, it dictates the direction you should take. This is in contrast to immediately jumping to conclusions and shutting down the conversation by giving them a lecture on the dangers of drugs before you've heard their opinion.

“So if a teenager then goes on to say, ‘I think it's really weird and I'm worried about the kids who are trying it.’ You're having one conversation. But if they are interested in trying the gummies, it’s another conversation," Dr. Damour noted.

teens, mom and teen son, parenting, modern families, son and mom on couch, talking to teens A mom talks with her teenage son.via Canva/Photos

How to respond when your teen is interested in risky behaviors

Dr. Damour believes that when setting rules for your teen, it is best to avoid basing them on personal morality or opinions, such as “In this house we don’t do drugs” or “I think it’s wrong to go on a date at 14.” These reasons often seem arbitrary to most kids, and they may follow their own desires. Instead, focus on two key issues: safety and the decent treatment of others. So, if they are considering taking weed gummies, let them know that it isn’t safe. Dr. Damour suggests this response: “You have one brain for the rest of your life. All of the science we have says that weed and adolescent brains don't mix. I love you, I care about you. I want you to make choices that are going to keep you safe.”

Parenting teens is an emotional rollercoaster, which is why Damour’s advice is so helpful. It allows parents to have a little extra time to remove some emotion from their reaction, and it enables them and their teens to use their best judgment in an uncomfortable situation. Further, it may be that when a teen floats an awkward topic, there’s a lot more going on than what meets the eye. “It is my sense that when kids are floating touchy topics by their parents, they are watching very carefully to see the reaction because one of the questions they may be asking themselves is, 'What would happen if I told you I was having a problem with this?'” Damour says.

Learn more important advice for parenting teens by subscribing to the free Ask Lisa podcast.

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People recall their fleeting relationships from cruises and vacations and it's so wholesome

The friendships and romances we make on vacation often don't last, but we still remember them forever.

Canva Photos

A woman reminisced about a cute boy she met on a cruise in 1996 and sparked people's memories.

I always think about the line from Fight Club, when Edward Norton's character says that he thinks of the people he meets on airplanes as "single serving friends." Though Tyler Durden chastises him for being too clever, I think Norton was onto something.

On a recent Disney cruise with my family, we really hit it off with two other families that had young kids the same age as our youngest daughter. One of them lived in Texas, the other all the way in the UK—both a far cry from Georgia, where we lived. We follow each other passively on social media, but for that one week, we were the best of friends and spent big chunks of every day together. Another time, I met a girl on a Greyhound bus when I was about 19 and going from Tempe, Arizona to Los Angeles to visit a friend. We talked the entire way, into the morning hours as we passed stunning desert rock formations and cacti as far as the eye could see.

People We Meet on Vacation isn't just a great romance novel by Emily Henry. It's a strangely beautiful phenomenon of life. The flings, romances, friendships, or even strange alliances usually don't make it back to the real world. And if they do, it's rarely the same as it was in the bubble of isolation. But that doesn't mean those connections don't leave a mark on us, sometimes forever.

A woman named Kat recently took to Reddit to share an old photo she came across. It was a younger version of herself, standing next to a "really nice" guy she met on a cruise way back in 1996.

cruise, cruise ships, vacation, reddit, missed connections, memories, nostalgia, romance, friendship, love, kids, teens You never know who you'll meet on a weeklong cruise. Giphy

She writes that they hit it off big time when they met aboard the boat after Kat's high school graduation, and that she thought he was cute. Romantic sparks flew, and Kat writes that they "kissed on the last night," but adds that the then 19-year-old boy was a "total gentlemen" for anyone whose mind might be in the gutter.

They exchanged letters for a while but, as people do, eventually lost touch. But she still remembers the time with him fondly. Her post was just a little bit of nostalgia; a way to relive a nice memory.

(The photo and original post were later taken down because, well, you'll see.)

Commenters then began chiming in with their own stories of friends, flings, and loves that they met on vacation and never saw again:

"Back in 2001 I was visiting family in Greece and met the most beautiful girl. The summer was amazing and full of memories. She was truly my first love and I had accidentally lost her contact info and over the years of going back never ran into her again.

Fast forward to 2025 married with children, I took the family to Greece and as I’m walking down the street I see her in front of me with a family of her own. We stopped and chatted for a minute with introductions to our families. As we parted ways and exchanged a quick hug she told me she had thought about me often and what could have been and was happy to see me married with a beautiful family. Memories are to be cherished and sometimes things aren’t meant to be. I was glad to have run into her and see that she was well," one user wrote.

"In my teen years in 2005, went on a carnival cruise to Jamaica, Cayman Islands and perhaps other stops. I met a blonde-haired girl named Joy. I don’t know her last name and we didn’t exchange numbers/other info. We kissed every night on the boat…and what a Joy-ful memory that has always been," added another.

cruise, cruise ships, vacation, reddit, missed connections, memories, nostalgia, romance, friendship, love, kids, teens You can become better friends with a stranger in one week of vacation than people you've known for years. Photo by Alonso Reyes on Unsplash

Even people who were kids at the time remember forming instant, powerful, unforgettable friendships—even if they were short-lived:

"When I was like 8? Maybe 9? I met this girl at some boring adult event and we ran around all night getting into trouble. We instantly became like best friends. And then I never saw her again. I still think about her sometimes," someone wrote.

"When I was about 5 years old, I was in an airport with my family for a few days. I met a girl there about my age and we had a great time playing together in the airport. The girl and her family had to fly out before mine so we had to say our goodbyes. It was really hard on both of us. This was back in the 90s when it was really hard to stay in contact with people. It should've been possible but I guess our parents didn't think a long distance friendship between 5 year olds could work (and they were probably right). ... Her mom took us to a shop in the airport that had those machines where you insert a quarter and get a cheap toy. She got two rings for us. We put them on and she said that it would help us remember each other. We shared a long hug and said our goodbyes at the gate and that was the last time we saw each other," wrote another. "I wore that thin aluminum ring til it fell apart."

"When I was about six years old I flew across the country to visit my grandparents in Arizona," a user chimed in. "I ended up seated next to a teenage boy and talked his damn ears off the whole 5ish hours of the flight- I was a chatty kid- and as an adult I can’t get over how nice and friendly and patient with me he was. Wherever you are in the universe, dude: you were really very kind and I hope you’ve stayed that kind!"

cruise, cruise ships, vacation, reddit, missed connections, memories, nostalgia, romance, friendship, love, kids, teens A shocking number of people remember brief friendships from cruises and airplanes when they were kids. Photo by Hanson Lu on Unsplash

Some people were able to take their vacation romance out into the real world, even if it still didn't last:

"I met a boy on the pool deck of a Carnival Caribbean cruise in 2005. I was newly 21, from the small town cornfields of the midwest... and he was 20, straight out of Brooklyn. We spent 4 days and nights totally inseparable and damn near fell in love. We kept in touch daily and 6 months later we decided to move to South Florida together. We stayed together happily for 5 years, and even had a pet iguana. My first real love. No regrets," one user wrote.

Dozens more stories just like them poured in, and the sign offs were always heart-wrenching:

"if you're out there, I still think about you."

"I have never seen her since. I hope she is doing good!"

"Still wonder about that dude."

"I still think of him"

"I still think about that girl every now and again and it’s been 10 years"

"If you see this, Drew… miss ya bud"

cruise, cruise ships, vacation, reddit, missed connections, memories, nostalgia, romance, friendship, love, kids, teens "I still think about you." Giphy

Emily Goulet writes for Philly Magazine that being away from home has a way of bringing you together with people you might otherwise never connect with, for reasons beyond just that you don't live close to each other.

She recalls making friends at a resort pool once: "Perhaps unsurprisingly, we were also on completely different political sides from our [new] friends, but we all quickly glossed over that. Who wants to debate social issues on vacation? We’ll never see each other again, we figured, so let’s set our differences aside [and] have a few drinks ... We were in a hazy, sun-dappled bubble divorced from reality, an alternate universe where nobody works and men walk around shirtless and people ride Segways."

When we're away from our usual routine, we open ourselves up to new experiences. We try new things, interact with people in different ways, and aren't bogged down by the realities that make real-life friendships and romances so difficult. Vacations friends and flings are perfect in that way, preserved in time when everything was great and nobody had a care in the world. They don't get tainted by anything, and maybe that's why the memories are so wonderful to revisit.

The man from Kat's story, John, eventually showed up after another poster recognized him and clued him into the viral thread.

In fact, the photo had to be taken down because people began unwittingly sharing John's personal information in the thread. Turns out, Redditors are a little too good at tracking people down.

"Thank you for posting this! I don’t have that picture and it totally brought back memories of talking and joking with you. I don’t remember your name either, but I remember your face and smile. ... It’s so nice to know you have had kind thoughts of me and well wishes. I’ve felt the same about you and others I’ve been lucky enough to bull shit and connect with. Too many to name (get it) and it sounds like a lot of people on this thread have been as lucky as us," he wrote. "I had so much fun hanging out with you and it totally made my cruise! It is so cool that our time stirred up memories like ours on this thread, thanks for motivating that."

It wasn't the case of two star-crossed lovers reuniting. John is married with kids, and Kat writes in a reply that is she is widowed. But the two will always have happy memories of the week they spent together. And, clearly, they aren't the only ones with such a story.

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