A mom went viral for explaining why she won't bring snacks and water on short outings with her 3-year-old
It's a struggle all parents run into eventually. It becomes too much, and far too annoying, to be responsible for every aspect of your children's lives and well-being. At some point, they need to start taking ownership over the things that are important to them. When they hit the age where they begin to really care about what they wear? They better be involved in doing their own laundry! Got soccer practice? Better remember to get dressed and pack your bag before it's time to go.
Mom and dad can't be the only ones keeping everyone on track 24/7. But, of course, this is a battle that's fought both in our homes and in American culture at large. Kids are less independent now than the were in previous generations. Fewer kids walk to school or play outside unsupervised. And some say that it shows.
One mom is using a "harsh" parenting technique to instill this kind of independence in her kids from an early age.
Some argue that kids need tough love from an early age to learn independence and responsibility.
Photo by Gabe Pierce on Unsplash
Chelsea, a professor and homesteader, recently took to TikTok to share some words of wisdom that have helped her in raising her 1- and 3-year-olds without collapsing from constant overwhelm.
"I don't know who needs to hear this but if you have little kids, you have to try one of my favorite recent parenting techniques," she says in the selfie-style video. "This might sound a little crazy or a little crude, but i promise if you listen, I will explain how this has added so much value."
She begins by offering an example of a scenario most parents can relate to.
"The other day we were driving in the car and from the backseat [my 3-year-old] calls 'Mom, I'm hungry!' My response to her when she said she was hungry was 'Oh, did you bring a snack?'"
The essence of Chelsea's independence technique is that she no longer brings snacks, water, or entertainment like books and games on short trips out with her kids. Instead, she pushes them to remember to bring what they need.
"I know, this sounds a little harsh. I promise, I'm not letting them go hungry, I'm not letting them go thirsty," Chelsea says. "They are very hydrated, well fed kids. This is used in very specific scenarios. But what this does is it puts a little bit of the responsibility and the ownership on them."
"Number one, it helps her understand that she has to take some responsibility in bringing something [she needs.]" Though, the mom of two adds that she helps remind her daughter before they leave the house to make sure she has everything she needs.
"I'm helping her prepare, but i'm also teaching her a little bit of a natural consequence. Because if she doesn't bring her water or her snack, then her natural consequence is she doesn't get snack."
After using this technique for a while, Chelsea notices that her daughter will remember on her own far more often. And if she does forget, mom's often got her back. Chelsea states that if her daughter forgets her water and mom just so happens to have one for her, her daughter is incredibly grateful and appreciative. I think all parents would like more of that sentiment from their kids!
Watch the whole clip here:
@sunny_acres_regen_farm My small contribution to making the next generation less entitled #mom #toddlermom #toddlers #parenting #homestead
The video racked up over 400,000 views and left parents, teachers, and other commenters extremely divided.
Some loved the idea. Teachers, especially, were keen on the idea of kids coming into their classrooms having learned more responsibility and independence at home from a young age:
"I’m a teacher and this will help your children so much. A lot of kids don’t know how to solve problems or take responsibility"
"I’m a kindergarten teacher and I approve this message"
"As a teacher, thank you. I can tell asap when a child had never been responsible for a single thing in their life. Then they get to kinder and are lost bc someone has always done everything for them"
Teachers have a great perspective because they see and work closely with so many kids. They're really plugged in to bigger trends and concerns that affect the entire age group and not just one single kid or family. So when they say kids need to learn more independence early, it's usually a good idea to listen.
Some commenters chimed in that they, themselves, were raised this way, or had used similar approaches successfully with their own kids:
"Seriously, I don’t remember being offered snacks and drinks constantly or having them always around anywhere all the time. If we were out and about a lot of times I had to wait (within reason)"
"I did this with my now adult children. My youngest (18) is constantly shocked by his friends who aren’t like him and his siblings."
Some people, however, had concerns with whether this technique was age-appropriate for a toddler:
It can be tough for toddlers to think ahead about the future consequences of their behavior.Giphy
"my boomer mom said things like this and it created a lot of anxiety that I had to remember to take care of myself and I felt abandoned"
"I dont like this at all! Why should a THREE year old need to be concerned with bringing her own water?"
"a good technique for older kids but i think your kids are too young so it's not a developmentally appropriate expectation"
"A more age appropriate way would be have her help you pack her bag."
These commenters are right in that natural consequences is a very effective parenting technique, but it can also be fraught. There's a fine line between teaching kids responsibility and making them feel like no one is looking out for them. 3-years-old is a really tricky age for this kind of parenting. Toddlers can understand immediate cause-and-effect relationships, but have trouble linking their actions with future consequences. So while there's nothing wrong with introducing concepts of consequences, independence, and responsibility to kids 3 and under, it's important to keep expectations in line with what's age-appropriate.
It sounds like Chelsea's got a good handle on the right balance, but in less-careful hands this kind of approach could be a disaster.
A Generation Jones teenager poses in her room.Image via Wikmedia Commons
An office kitchen.via 
An angry man eating spaghetti.via 
Gif of baby being baptized
Woman gives toddler a bath Canva
An Irish woman went to the doctor for a routine eye exam. She left with bright neon green eyes.
It's not easy seeing green.
Did she get superpowers?
Going to the eye doctor can be a hassle and a pain. It's not just the routine issues and inconveniences that come along when making a doctor appointment, but sometimes the various devices being used to check your eyes' health feel invasive and uncomfortable. But at least at the end of the appointment, most of us don't look like we're turning into The Incredible Hulk. That wasn't the case for one Irish woman.
Photographer Margerita B. Wargola was just going in for a routine eye exam at the hospital but ended up leaving with her eyes a shocking, bright neon green.
At the doctor's office, the nurse practitioner was prepping Wargola for a test with a machine that Wargola had experienced before. Before the test started, Wargola presumed the nurse had dropped some saline into her eyes, as they were feeling dry. After she blinked, everything went yellow.
Wargola and the nurse initially panicked. Neither knew what was going on as Wargola suddenly had yellow vision and radioactive-looking green eyes. After the initial shock, both realized the issue: the nurse forgot to ask Wargola to remove her contact lenses before putting contrast drops in her eyes for the exam. Wargola and the nurse quickly removed the lenses from her eyes and washed them thoroughly with saline. Fortunately, Wargola's eyes were unharmed. Unfortunately, her contacts were permanently stained and she didn't bring a spare pair.
- YouTube youtube.com
Since she has poor vision, Wargola was forced to drive herself home after the eye exam wearing the neon-green contact lenses that make her look like a member of the Green Lantern Corps. She couldn't help but laugh at her predicament and recorded a video explaining it all on social media. Since then, her video has sparked a couple Reddit threads and collected a bunch of comments on Instagram:
“But the REAL question is: do you now have X-Ray vision?”
“You can just say you're a superhero.”
“I would make a few stops on the way home just to freak some people out!”
“I would have lived it up! Grab a coffee, do grocery shopping, walk around a shopping center.”
“This one would pair well with that girl who ate something with turmeric with her invisalign on and walked around Paris smiling at people with seemingly BRIGHT YELLOW TEETH.”
“I would save those for fancy special occasions! WOW!”
“Every time I'd stop I'd turn slowly and stare at the person in the car next to me.”
“Keep them. Tell people what to do. They’ll do your bidding.”
In a follow-up Instagram video, Wargola showed her followers that she was safe at home with normal eyes, showing that the damaged contact lenses were so stained that they turned the saline solution in her contacts case into a bright Gatorade yellow. She wasn't mad at the nurse and, in fact, plans on keeping the lenses to wear on St. Patrick's Day or some other special occasion.
While no harm was done and a good laugh was had, it's still best for doctors, nurses, and patients alike to double-check and ask or tell if contact lenses are being worn before each eye test. If not, there might be more than ultra-green eyes to worry about.