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"Thank you for being patient": Baby on first flight 'writes' adorable note to passengers

The note was so sweet. It was also completely unnecessary.

@callmebelly/TikTok

An excellent reminder to show kindness and patience.

Listening to a baby cry during a flight might be aggravating, but it’s nothing compared to the moans, groans, and eyerolls that the baby's parents must endure from other passengers when it happens. No matter what tips and tricks are used to try to soothe a little one’s temperament while 30,000 miles in the air, crying is almost inevitable. So, while having to ease their own child’s anxiety, moms and dads also must suffer being the pariah of the trip. What a nightmare.

Airplanes are a particularly tricky public space in which to take your children. First, unlike, say, fine dining or the opera, flying with a baby isn't always optional. Sometimes, a certain level of travel is required of your life and small children have to come along. Second, and probably worst of all, there is no escape from the airplane once you've boarded. No matter what happens; crying, puking, blowouts, or spills — you're stuck dealing with it, and the dirty looks, until the plane has landed.

Recently, one mom was apparently trying so hard to avoid upsetting her fellow flight members that she went above and beyond to essentially apologize ahead of time if her baby began to cry on its first flight.

It was a gesture that, while thoughtful, had folks really feeling for how stressed that poor mom must be.

In a clip posted to his TikTok, one of the passengers—Elliot—explained that the mom handed out small care packages to those nearby.

“She’s already so busy and took the time to make these bags for everyone,” Elliot said, before panning the camera to reveal a Ziplock bag full of candy, along with a note that made him “want to cry.”

The note read: “It’s my first flight. I made a deal to be on my best behaviour—but I can’t make any guarantees. I might cry if I get scared or if my ears start to hurt. Here are some treats to make your flight enjoyable. Thank you for being patient with us. Have a great flight.”

Elliot appeared to be choked up at the thoughtfulness on display as he examined the contents of the bags.

Like Elliot, those who watched the video felt some ambivalence at the well intentioned act. Many felt remorse that she would feel the need to appease people in this way.

“This is so sweet but also … kind of breaks my heart that we live in a world in which parents feel the need to do that.”

“Because jerk people have shamed parents into believing that they need to apologize for their kids' absolutely normal behavior. What a gem of a mom.”

“You know that sweet mom worried about this trip so much.”

“That poor mom probably spent nights awake … nervous about that flight, thinking of ways to keep strangers happy.”

"That's a mom trying so hard."

"the fact she took up valuable carry on space for these treat bags"

"Always wondered if we don’t bring kids out in public how can they learn to act in public? thank you for being so sweet to this mom"

Then again, who wouldn't appreciate some free candy and a friendly note?!

Many rallied behind the mom, arguing that making others feel more comfortable with her child being on board was in no way her responsibility.

“No mom should be apologizing. Adults can control their emotions … babies not …. Hugging this mom from a distance.”

“Dear new parents: no you don’t have to do this. Your babies have the right to exist. We all know babies cry. We know you try your best.”

Many commenters pointed out that a crying baby is far more stressful on the parent than other passengers. It's so easy to pop in your headphones and crank up your music or movie if someone else's baby is bothering you. Not so easy when you're the one responsible for soothing them!

The care package trend, sometimes called a "pre-apology", has become all the rage in recent years.

Passengers seem to universally find them adorable and fun. And some parents even enjoy the time and care it takes to make them. In a way, it can help ease the anxiety that naturally comes along with flying with a baby. It also creates a fun memory of that first flight.

But it's definitely not something any parent should feel like they have to do.

Etiquette expert Jo Hayes told What To Expect "Airplane goodie bags are all well and good for the craft-inclined or if you’re just excited to commemorate your little one’s first flight, but it's not the expectation that all parents must do this. Heaven knows, parents have enough pressure on them as is."

Luckily, there are just as many stories of fellow passengers being completely compassionate towards parents with small children—from simply choosing to throw on their headphones during a tantrum (instead of throwing one themselves) to going out of their way to comfort a baby (and taking the load off a frazzled parent in the process). These little acts of kindness make more of an impact than we probably realize. Perhaps if we incorporated more of this “it takes a village” mindset, flying could be a little bit more pleasant for everyone involved.

This article originally appeared in February. It has been updated.

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Motherhood

Exhausted mom quietly quits household chores and this is what happened after just 3 days

Things got post-apocalyptic in a hurry.

Miss Potkin/Twitter

Mom lives the dream: quietly quitting household chores to see if her family notices

It takes a heck of a lot to keep a household moving. Dishes, laundry, groceries, general cleaning and tidying, outdoor maintenance, scheduling, doctor's appointments, and on and on and on. In most American households, mom handles most of it; the majority of the physical labor and almost all of the invisible, mental work.

If it sounds like a lot, that's because it is. Though men and fathers are sharing the load more than ever, the division of labor remains pretty bad. And it's not just stay-at-home moms that are managing everything; it's working women, too! It's too much for any one person to handle.

Practically every mom I know occasionally daydreams about quitting-doing-all-the-things. Sometimes the impulse is born of exhaustion. Sometimes it's the relentless daily tedium of cleaning, cooking, reminding, over and over and over without end. And sometimes it's the desire for someone else to notice that these things actually need to be done and someone has to actually do it.

moms, motherhood, parenting, household, family, chores, mental load, division of labor, household inequity, sexism All moms can relate to this feeling. Giphy

Even moms who share chores with spouses and kids often find themselves carrying the mental load of figuring out what needs to be done, monitoring whether it's getting done, and organizing who's doing what, and reminding/nagging/harassing her family members until it gets done. Sometimes moms just want to let all of that go and see what happens.

One mom, who goes by Miss Potkin on Twitter/X, recently decided she had enough. She decided, just like that, that she was going to quit without saying a word.

Channeling the fed-upness of mothers everywhere, she just up and stopped doing household chores to see what would happen. Two days later, she began sharing the saga in a Twitter thread that's as entertaining as it is satisfying.

Needless to say, without Lily managing things, the state of the home unraveled extremely quickly.

Letting go and letting your family sit in their own filth until they can't take it anymore takes patience and discipline. There's a reason moms generally do-all-the-things regardless of how cooperative the family is. We don't want to live in a mess any more than anyone else does. But Lily Potkin stuck to her guns.

For a minute, things were looking promising with the garbage being taken out. However, the dishes still remained mysteriously undone. As did the laundry.

It only got worse from there. Honestly, reading through the thread is like watching the beginning of a zombie flick where the "normal world" because an apocalyptic wasteland in a matter of minutes

"There is a pan on the cooker with a single sausage in it," she wrote in one update. "It's been there for two days. I can't look at it because it's turned the colour of the man that washes up in Cast Away."

Later, she did reveal said sausage for the camera (from a distance). It was horrifying, to say the least.

Oh, and this point, the downstairs bathroom was out of toilet paper. A harrowing prospect for all members of the house.

Those who might feel judgy at this point likely live with people who are naturally neat, or just can't fathom themselves how someone could let a sausage sit for two days.

But take it from a mom who let go of policing her kids' bedrooms to see how long it would take them to decide to clean on their own—some human beings are willing to overlook all manner of mess and filth before it becomes too much.

And sometimes they have to learn firsthand the amount of extra work such obliviousness leads to.

In one update from Potkin, she shows her partner trying to clean old hardened cereal off a bowl. It's quite a struggle. Imagine how much easier it would have been to clean it right away!

Hilariously, even though the dishwasher finally did get loaded, that's basically all that happened. Miss Potkin shared a video tour of the kitchen with the extraneous things that didn't get done or got half-done.

It speaks to the invisible load, the mental labor. Other members of the household may be willing to lend a hand here and there, but only when they're told exactly what to do. Even just the constant To-Do Listing is exhausting for moms.

Of course, the negative Nancies showed up to voice their judgmental opinions about her experiment, her home, her family, her choice of husband, and everything else because moms literally can't catch a break.

It's a silly, fun exercise to make a point that millions of moms can relate to. If it doesn't apply to you, move along, Nance.

Potkin took it all in stride. Though she was out to prove a point, the goal was not to villify her husband and the rest of her family, but rather to shed light on the unfair cultural expectations and systems that lead to this inequality.

"We do not 'live like this,'" she wrote. "This is a lesson in wanting to be heard and respected and not having to repeat yourself when things slip. We're navigating the day-to-day in extraordinary times and for me, the past two days have been funnier than anything else. I think we're all entitled to run our own experiments, be amused, push a situation to its limit if we so choose. No one needs to be lectured by those that have failed to see the silly joy in what's happening here."

And the experiment slowly started paying off as someone replaced the toilet paper.

But the dishwasher, though loaded, remains firmly in the Off position. For reasons that are beyond comprehension.

"We keep our homes tidy because love," Miss Potkin wrote. "We cook food and set tables and fill the air with scents of roses and fresh laundry because love. Love is patient but love is also fucking tired because she works 14 hour days."

"I know we are ALL tired," she added, "but I am most tired. Me. I AM ALL THE TIRED."

All the moms are all the tired.

Miraculously, it only took three days of being completely hands-off for her family to take note and clean the house.

Lesson learned. Mission accomplished. Let's hope it sticks.

Potkin's thread was reposted over 42,000 times, which means the experiment got in front of a lot of eyeballs. Doubtless that some of them must have belonged to partners who are guilty of not quite pulling their fair share. Maybe the eye-opening and entertaining thread was enough to make a difference in households beyond just Potkin's.

Moms are not always the ones who pick up most of the slack in a household, but they usually are.

Estimates say that, on average, women spend about twice as many hours per week on chores around the house. That's probably being generous to the average man. But even still, the inequity is clear as day. Moms are doing far too much work. That work hinders their sleep, raises the stress levels, and impacts their ability to earn and advance in their careers.

moms, motherhood, parenting, household, family, chores, mental load, division of labor, household inequity, sexism What a typical American home may look like after three days without a mom. Photo by Bruno Guerrero on Unsplash

And when that work is taken for granted, it especially sucks.

When everyone in the house pays more attention and takes the initiative to tidy, neaten, clean, replace, launder, put away, etc., moms are less stressed and tired and everyone benefits. If it take up and quitting for a while to help the family see it, so be it.

This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

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Motherhood

Moms get specific on how they successfully share 'family manager' duties with their spouses

Minimal partner resentment and a smoother running household? Yes, please.

Image via Canva

Moms share tips for how to better manage family household.

Being a mom means you are a multi-tasking manager of all things household: meals, practices, appointments, and more. It's an overwhelming role that requires good organization, time management, and cooperation between spouses to keep things running smoothly.

In a Reddit parenting thread, member u/Weekendengineerr got vulnerable about the overwhelming responsibility she feels when it comes to managing her family's schedule. She shared, "The 'invisible' work of family scheduling is making me resent my partner. How do you manage [your family's schedules]?"

Fellow moms heard her plea. To help spark some idea for success as a family manager, 14 mothers shared their best family management advice and tips.

mom, moms, mother, super mom, mom life Mothers Day Snl GIF by Saturday Night Live Giphy

"We use a big calendar on the wall in the kitchen area. That way at meal time we can discuss upcoming events and the kids check it too." —u/royalic

"We do this too. Also, there is a firm rule that if it’s not on the calendar, it doesn’t exist. So if you forget to put your thing on the calendar before there’s a conflict, that is your problem to deal with, not anyone else’s. That likely means calling so and so and saying 'I forgot to put you on the calendar, I have to cancel, I am now standing next to my calendar…' if it is something that can be rescheduled rather than just missed." —u/dixpourcentmerci

calendar, wall calendar, calendar, calendar gif, calendar on wall mia farrow calendar GIF Giphy

"Yes! We have a dry erase weekly calendar in the kitchen and each family member (there's only 3 of us) has a color so it's easy to see what the week looks like. Of course, I write out the calendar every Sunday so it's still on me more than my husband. But he does more than his fair share of cooking and cleaning so I don't mind being the scheduler as much." —u/on-purpose810

"I divided it. I told him from now on, you're responsible for everything regarding the kids' extracurriculars. Here's the contact info you're going to need, and this is the website. From now on, if anything is forgotten it's not my fault. Were there missteps? Yes. Did he forget stuff? Also yes. Did I relent? No. Did he eventually learn from his mistakes? Yes." —u/I-Really-Hate-Fish

"We leaned heavily into our phone calendar. We don’t use a shared google calendar but just invite each other to every appt added. It took awhile for us to get used to it but now everything from doctors appointments to potential play dates to friends flying into town to library trips are in there."—u/kitethrulife

calendar, electronic calendar, email calendar, organized, time management GIF by The Hills Giphy

"I LOVE our skylight calendar so much that I sound like a paid Skylight influencer. It has made my life 100% less stressful because it's so much easier to keep up with the schedule now. We were using 2 white board calendars on the fridge, which was okay but not helpful for longer term planning or if I was anywhere else. The app is on everyone's phone, so even my 12 year old can add things to the schedule if he learns about an extra band practice at school or something. He can also check to see if he has anything happening after school. When my husband takes the kids to the doctor and has to schedule a follow up, he can look at the app on his phone and make sure there aren't conflicts (so I don't have to call back later and reschedule 😬) The physical calendar on the kitchen counter means that it's everyone's responsibility to know something is happening, not just mine. There's a routine/chore function that's been helpful this summer and less work than (me, of course) writing a schedule on a white board every day." —u/chellerator

"What really helped us was that my partner took the majority of parenting for a while. After a few months he came to me and said 'you know the google calendar, it’s really really useful.' I just didn’t do anything. He picked up the kids, took them to practice, had to communicate if something went wrong, etc." —u/DuoNem

"A few years into our marriage I sat my husband down and I listed ALL the tasks that require my attention on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. Then I told him he had to take on some of them and get them off my plate before I lose my sh*t. It took a few weeks before it caught on without the need to revisit the list but we are now 15 years into marriage and I have not had to schedule a doctors appointment for the kids in ages, I have never stepped foot in their dentist office cuz dad does that. I don’t make breakfast or pack lunches cuz dad does that and when I’m at the grocery store he is the person I call to see if we have to get more of something. We also tried The Fair Play Deck (based on the book Fair Play by Eve Rodsky) as well which is a set of cards with tasks on it and each person chooses what tasks they will be responsible for. It was helpful to visually see the tasks piling up with each card." —u/Main_Push5429

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"A few things:

I have two big acrylic wall calendars like this in a super prominent part of the house. It covers this month and next month and everything goes on it, including regular activities, appointments, etc. I fill out all the regular stuff at the beginning of the month like practices etc. and then we add appointments as soon as they are made. I find two months really crucial because then you have some grace with the “we forgot to update it” memory lapses. https://circleandsquaredecor.com/products/frostedacrylicmonthly-thecraig-vertical0box-18-5x23
I add his phone number and email to every form I fill out so that he is also on the correspondence that gets sent out. He gets text reminders for appointments, school emails, etc.
Mine is allergic to the phone, so I still manage most phone call scheduling. But I finally was like “bro, have you ever heard of an online portal?” So now I can just be like “I need you to schedule this thing.”
Have your husband be keeper of the backpacks. He can be in charge of emptying and filling them and adding important dates to the calendar, signing permission forms, etc." —u/OneTimePSAStar

"My husband has ADHD. He is an AMAZING father and fantastic at his job. But his brain is spent in the evenings when his meds wear off. Its been a process of us working together to get him to the point of managing. We use Cozi. Our kids are a bit older (13, almost 16, and almost 19) and we have been using it for years. Everyone has it on their phones and everyone is responsible for adding any plans they make. When we implemented the calendar I really drove home that if its not on the calendar its not happening. I also 'nagged' everyone into the habit of checking it first thing every morning so they know what the day brings. Kids want to have a friend over? Check the calendar before asking. If anyone asks me when, where, or what time something is happening I simply say "Check the calendar". We also use it for some 'reminders'. For example I put on there 'Check for drivers test dates' for 30 days before my middle daughters 16th birthday. Important info is added in the notes - who is driving? Do they need to bring anything? Its taken some time and mental labor on my part but these days it runs pretty smoothly. There were failures and missed appointments along the way but we all survived." —u/sdpeasha

reminder, reminders, don't forget, helpful reminder, remind me Point Remember GIF Giphy

"We do it based on kids. I know sometimes like for dentist, you may take both, but one person does almost everything for one kids, and other person for the other. School clothes, permission slips, teacher gifts, etc and the. That person puts it in the other persons calendar too. Works pretty well." —u/mrsjlm

"Because I’m a stepmom, my husband is the one who is in charge of the scheduling in the house. Our solution is twofold: an up-to-date Google calendar, and a dry-erase calendar of the month in the kitchen. The Google calendar is what my husband and I already used individually, so we keep our personal calendars separate and just share them with each other. He also created a calendar for his kids, to help me see the custody schedule and their sports events. While he’s mostly in charge of the kids’ digital calendar, I’m the one who writes up the dry erase calendar at the beginning of every month, which shows all of our events for the coming weeks. This way, even though I’m not in charge of the scheduling, I am putting things on the calendar so that I have visibility and nothing comes as a surprise. The night before any events or hectic days, we take a minute to go over who’s driving who where the next day. Sometimes I’ll ask my husband to text it to me even though we’re talking about it in person, so that the driving part is documented and I can double check the plan if needed." —u/Anon-eight-billion

dry erase, dry erase board, dry erase calendar, dry erase gif, dry erase marker Erase Parks And Recreation GIF by PeacockTV Giphy

"Shared notes on notes app on iPhone. There is shopping lists with check boxes and when one person adds something to any of the lists or notes the other person or anyone else it’s shared with gets a notification saying who has updated one of the lists." —u/Fit_Woodpecker_3333

"Some reading that might help you both have a productive conversation together: The gender wars of household chores: a feminist comic and She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink ." —u/anonymous_redditor_0

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Joy

People are losing it over 'first-time mom' cats and their questionable maternal instincts

"Do the 9 lives start before or after parenting?" 😸

Photo credit: Canva

Maternal instinct in no way equals perfect parenting.

One thing you discover when you become a parent is that no parent is perfect. From the start, we are flying by the seat of our pants trying to figure out how to best care for the wee one in our care, and as the oh-so-true cliche goes, they don't come with a manual.

Apparently, the same is true for cats. A compilation of cat moms, purportedly on their first time around as mothers, is making the rounds, partly because it's hilarious and partly because it's painfully relatable. While we humans don't tend to suddenly thwap our babies for no apparent reason, we do accidentally hurt them, blame the wrong kid for a misdeed, overreact, and more on occasion. I mean, I never inadvertently dropped my baby into a garbage can, but I'd bet dollars to donuts that some mom has at some point.

Watch:

Thankfully, like kids, kittens are resilient and these moms and their questionable maternal instincts had people cackling. Naturally, the comments are gold:

"Call cps cat protective services."

"She just threw that baby away. 😂"

"Do the 9 lives start before or after parenting?"

"Okay that last one though…with the smothering & the eye-twitching…us mums can all empathize with that one."

cats, mama cat, kitten, maternal instincts, parenting Mama cats don't always have the gentlest instincts.Photo credit: Canva

"The poor kittens in the white box are clearly used to it. 'Yep that's my mom.'"

"They grew up in the 80s…they will be fine."

"Being raised by a cat is an experience."

"I'm not saying it's right. I'm not saying I do any of this. But I am saying I understand."

Another relatable cat mom video shows the opposing instinct that we all share: to protect our babies from anything that might harm them. I may have accidentally given my baby a black eye when I was carrying her and leaned over too close to the fireplace mantel corner once, but I would also wrestle an angry bear to protect her.

Check out these mama bear—or mama cat, rather—instincts in action:

Again, the comments are spot on.

"That first one 'don't you fat shame my baby!'"

"Mama cats are either super sweet about their babies or absolutely vicious about them lmao there’s no in between."

"Cats do not play when it comes to their babies 🤣🤣🤣🤣."

"They say mama bear buuuut mama cat should be a thing too. them cats ain't playin when it comes to they kids js."

cats, mama cats, kitten, maternal instincts, cat moms Cat moms can get overwhelmed, too.Photo credit: Canva

On the other hand, some people shared that they had deadbeat—or at the very least exhausted—cat moms:

"Meanwhile my momma cat would drop her kids off with me and dip. She did NOT want to watch them kids all the time."

"When my cat had kittens every time I came back from school she was like 'finally... take these baby's PLEASE.'"

Another thing moms of various species share is the instinct to do something when our babies cry. Research shows that human mothers' brains have a specific, universal response to babies crying that those who aren't mothers don't, and it appears mama cats aren't much different.

Watch this mama cat come running from far away when she hears her kitten's mewing (and be sure to stay for the entertaining end):

- YouTube youtube.com

Priscilla wants us to know that mama cats may be mamas, but they're still cats and will not be told what to do.

"You're not for the streets Priscilla Had me dying. Backtalk meow. 😂"

"The amount of sass that Pricilla’s meow had was incredible."

"'You’re not for the streets Priscilla.' 'No, the streets are for me.'"

"😂 called her back like “You have a child at home maam."

"Their sense of hearing is amazing! It’s on the level of a superhero with superhero powers! She heard her baby’s squeal all the way down there! Goes to show you, when you call them and they don’t come, it’s because they don’t feel like it!"

Yup.

Here's to all the moms who would step in front of a train for their babies but who also fall far short of perfect parents every day. We see you, no matter your species.

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Kids

5-year-old getting blood drawn psyches himself up through tears with the best pep talk

"Heck yeah!" This little cancer warrior is helping everyone who hates needles find courage.

Screenshots courtesy of @morganprains/TikTok

Reece has become a viral hero for how he handles his biweekly blood draws.

Very few people enjoy being poked with needles, and a good percentage of the adult population is actively afraid of it. So it's no surprise when young kids cry when it's time for a shot or when they have to get their blood taken. Who can blame them? It sucks.

For Morgan Handley's son, Reece, that discomfort is not just a once-a-year ordeal, but a more-than-once-a-weekly one. The 5-year-old was diagnosed with leukemia three years ago at age 2 and has to get his blood drawn regularly. The way he psyches himself up for it—despite clearly being upset by it—has people cheering him on and inspired to take the same approach to hard things they don't want to do.

Watch:

His "Heck yeah! Do it. Just do it." would be enough on its own, but the enthusiastic "Yeah, boy! That's what I'm talkin' about!" is such a flex. The little warrior clearly knows what works for him, and his courage through his tears is exactly what we all wish we could muster when we're going through something hard.

Handley tells Upworthy that it's something he's internalized from the family. "We pep him up, always, but it’s carried over over the years," she says. "And now he just naturally does it, even to us when we have things that have to get done!"

People loved how he handled it:

"Him crying while cheering himself on broke my heart and made me laugh at the same time."

"He figured out it's mind over matter!"

"He handled that better than some grown men I know! Hahah"

blood draw, needles, fear of needles, trypanophobia, getting blood taken Many grown men don't handle getting their blood taken very well.Photo credit: Canva

"I don't even have kids and I want to get him whatever toys he wants after this."

"Look at that brave little guy! He pep talked himself through the anxiety and pain!!"

Handley shared that Reece is set to ring the bell—declaring that he's cancer-free—in July of 2025. It's been a long road to get there. He was diagnosed with leukemia in September of 2022 after going to the ER for fever blisters that had turned into a rash around his mouth and what seemed like an allergic reaction. Noticing Reece looked pale, the ER doctor took his blood and found a white cell count of 80,000, which was an indication of leukemia. After being transferred to the children's hospital, doctors rechecked his blood cell count and confirmed it.

That's where the family's cancer journey began, meeting with doctors, coming up with a plan, and starting treatment, which has consisted of chemotherapy, weekly labs, multiple surgeries, spinal taps, immunotherapy, steroids, and more. He was able to start immunotherapy treatment as part of a St. Jude's trial, which has been shown to reduce relapse rates. Immunotherapy treatment is now part of standard protocol, says Handley.

"Treatment has been decently smooth," she tells Upworthy. "He has sensitive skin so lots of rashes to every medicine ever. Steroids do a number on kids. In the beginning he stopped walking, but he overall hasn’t had terrible reactions. Immunotherapy was a smooth part of treatment."

Reece's specific form of leukemia is acute lymphocytic (or lymphoblastic) leukemia (ALL), a cancer of the bone marrow and blood that progresses rapidly and creates immature blood cells rather than mature ones. It's the most common form of childhood cancer, according to the Mayo Clinic. Thankfully, it's now more treatable than many other forms of cancer, with a high survival rate, especially for those diagnosed as young children.

Handley shared another video that illustrates how much of a day-by-day process it is go to through cancer treatment as a child. She said how Reece deals with blood draws "depends on the day."

People in the comments have been encouraging and some have even shared their own stories with childhood leukemia, offering hope to Handley and her family.

"My brother was also diagnosed with leukemia at 2 - remission at 5. I was born right after he was diagnosed. So much similarity. He’s been cancer free for 35 years…praying for y’all!"

"My sister was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia at age 2 as well and beat it by the age of 6. It stunted her growth significantly but other than that she’s 25 and thriving!!"

"I had a hemoglobin of 4 the day I was diagnosed with ALL at 6 years old. Very pale, very weak. Biggest clue was I couldn’t keep up in PE & my mom had a gut feeling. I’ve been cancer free for almost 28 years now. I also became a nurse because of this experience. Much love to you all."

"My oldest boy was 3 when he was diagnosed with stage 3 Clear Cell Sarcoma. He is now cancer free and 8 years old. We had another boy and expecting our little girl in October. I pray your little boy a long healthy life he deserves."

However, an increase in positive outcomes doesn't make treatment any more enjoyable or the process any easier for a parent.

"I want people to know how hard it is to watch you kid lose himself and struggle with simple kid things because you’re trying to save his life," says Handley. "I want people to know that the reality is living in fear of death for your child. Everyday. Relapse, everyday. But celebrating every single good thing that comes."

She calls Reece "a literal superhero," and people agree. Seeing how this kiddo had learned to take on his challenges with gusto-filled resilience and enthusiasm is something we can all learn from.

You can follow Morgan Handley for more updates on TikTok.

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Parenting

Debate erupts after mom questions whether parents 'should' play with their kids on the playground

She says sitting on the bench instead of playing doesn't make you lazy.

Canva Photos

Is sitting on the bench at the playground "lazy parenting"?

I've been both parents in this situation: I've been the dad climbing up the playground with my kids, chasing them, making up silly games. And then I've also been the dad who just wants to sit on the bench and rest for a few minutes, and who groans when my 4-year-old decides she wants to take on the monkey bars and needs my help.

The former makes you feel like a million bucks, but is utterly exhausting. The latter comes with a ton of guilt. Where does the guilt come from? Why is there so much pressure to always be "on"? I have no idea, but it's suffocating. And some parents have had enough.

One mom is taking a stand against the judgment and internalized-guilt. She says it's more than fine to sit on the side and let your kids play independently.

moms, motherhood, parenting, mom shame, mom guilt, dads, fatherhood, kids, playground, play, independence Some parents get accused of "not supervising" their kids when they're literally sitting 10 feet away. Photo by Oakville Dude on Unsplash

Amanda, a mom of three, recently posted a video on Instagram: "I saw a reel that said, 'parents at the park should get off the bench and play with their kids...' NO" the caption read.

"God forbid we ... let the playground be for kids ... a space where they get to experience some freedom, explore, interact and engage with other children without their parent breathing down their neck," she writes in the post.

Amanda adds that the advice to "get off the bench" came from a parenting influencer she usually really likes and who has helped her come up with new ideas to connect with her kids. But it shows how deeply-ingrained the pressure really is when even the "good" parenting experts are anti-rest and pro-hyper-involvement.

"I’m just highlighting here that ITS OKAY if you don’t want to be the adult scaling the playground!!" Amanda says. "Didn’t think this was a controversial take but I’ve said it before on here and have been called lazy."

Surprisingly, users were split on Amanda's "hot take," and were pretty heated about it themselves. Over 1.2 million people watched the video and thousands chimed in with their thoughts on the matter.

Many agreed that it was ridiculous to hold parents to the always-on standard.

"That was definitely said by a non parent who probably got ten hours of sleep. The audacity"

"Those of us who are SAHMs go ri the playground for a mother freakin BREAK"

"I tell my kids all the time: 'Go play with your brothers, that’s why I made more than 1 of you' I’m here to sip my coffee and talk to my friends"

"solo mother to toddler triplets here. It has taken me 3 1/2 years to get to the point I can actually sit down at the park. I’d love someone to say that to my face while I take the ONLY 5 minute break I get in my day"

"This! There is an over correction in the parenting these days. This gen of parents wants so barely to not be the absentee parents of yesteryear that they over parent and are over involved"

Some parents had safety concerns about not being "right there" in case something were to happen.

"I hear you but sometimes my toddler wants to play on the bigger structure and I just stand below making sure he doesn't jump off the high platforms"

"I wish, my anxiety is too bad 😂 I’m working on it."

"Maybe when they stop making playgrounds with random drop offs I can be chill enough to sit down."

"Parents need to get off their phones. I'm tired of having to tell someone else's kid to stop throwing sand cuz their mommy cares more about their phone than their kid."

(Whether being on your phone while your kid plays within eye-and-ear-shot is inherently bad is another discussion we need to have.)

A few commenters brought up an even greater point: It's about more than just mom and dad getting a break. It's about giving kids an opportunity to practice independence.

"As a mom of two, I’ve learned there’s so much value in giving kids space to play, explore, and even figure things out without us constantly hovering. It doesn’t mean we’re lazy, it means we trust their independence and know our own nervous systems matter too. We need more conversations like this"

"Let them be bored. Let them get creative. Let them make new friends. Their parent is not their court jester. The playground is meant for children to play, not the parents."

In fact, a key element of the popular and scientifically-validated Montessori method is that children should never be interrupted when playing or focusing on an activity.

"When children are engaged in interesting activities, they are simultaneously practicing their ability to remain engaged, to attend to other activities and to manage multiple stimuli without losing the capacity to concentrate on one. For parents, supporting children’s developing concentration means, first, giving them the opportunity to concentrate without interruption," writes Raintree Montessori.

Many well-regarded educational philosophies center on child-led learning, independence, and allowing children room to flex their creativity and play the way they want. Kids without an opportunity to learn and practice independence early have been shown to have worse outcomes later in life.

Why do millennial parents feel so much pressure to be hyper-involved?

moms, motherhood, parenting, mom shame, mom guilt, dads, fatherhood, kids, playground, play, independence It's hard for parents to let go, but kids need chances to practice doing things on their own. Photo by Myles Tan on Unsplash

Gen X and certainly Boomer parents did not feel the same way. Many of them were and are more than content to let their kids run free without nearly as much supervision — for better or worse.

Maybe we've just seen too many influencers wagging their fingers at us, having grown up on social media. We've seen too many news stories about kidnapping and other bad actors stalking public parks. We've seen the horrible injuries and accidents amplified by social algorithms that feed on fear and anger. And so we "helicopter." Not to be controlling, but to be protective.

Bit by bit, though, the public conversation is changing. Parents are being encouraged more and more to let go, just a little bit.

It's such a fine line, though. Many parents hover over their kids on the playground precisely because of potential dangers, bullying, or negative interactions with other kids. And who wouldn't do anything in the world to protect their child?! But it's also more than OK for a parent to consider that a crucial part of the independence lesson. Sometimes it's good for kids to work out conflicts on their own! It's even good for them to push their limits too far and fall down!

Ultimately, you don't have to be a "play" parent or a "bench" parent. You can choose for yourself based on your child, what he or she needs, and what the situation calls for. In the end, there should be a lack of judgment whatever you choose.

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Modern Families

Parents who had kids over 35 share the complex truths about being 'old' moms and dads

"I've been called their grandmother a handful of times now, but I find it hilarious."

Image via Canva

People who had kids over 35 share their experience being 'older' parents.

More Americans are becoming parents at older ages. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the average age for women in the United States who have their first child is 27.5 years old. In another study from the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), between 1990 and 2023, the fertility rate for women ages 35 to 39 increased 71%,. For women ages 40 to 44, the rate increased 127%.

Yet, having kids after 35 is a unique experience. In a Reddit forum, member @rainybitcoin posed the question: "Parents who were over 35 when your kids were born—how is it now?" They went on to add, "What was it like being the 'old mom' or 'old dad' (or were you?) and what is it like now your kids are older?"

Parents who had kids later in life offered their firsthand experience and advice on what it's really like. These are 15 of the most honest (and real) responses.

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"I had mine at 40/42. Now they are in their 20s and everything is fine. I still have strength to help them move into new flats or whatever. Only problem I had was in primary school when collecting my son and his friend shouted to him: 'Your grandad is here'." —@Key-Interaction-6281

"I had my kids the same age you did. Mine are all still under 10. I've been called their grandmother a handful of times now, but I find it hilarious. I turn 49 later this year, and my youngest just finished kindergarten." —@Strawberrywaffles001

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"I feel like a salmon that went upstream, spawned and is now so tired I'm happy to drift back downstream while my body decomposes. Maybe a bear will eat me if I'm lucky." —@spiteful-vengeance

"It worked out very well. He is 20 now and in college and I just retired at 65. And it’s been such a wonderful part of my life. I think my wife feels the same way." —@No-Savings7821

"38 and 42 when kids were born, 48 now, kids are 6 and 11. It's kind of heavenly. I sometimes wonder if I’m actually in heaven." —@Guitar-Nutt

"My daughter was born just in time to help us celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. I was 40, my husband 42. Other than my husband once being mistaken for her grandfather while on a walk in Yosemite, our age was never an issue. I look younger than I am and my daughter definitely kept me active. I was the go to mom who took her and her friends to amusement parks and concerts. My husband and I took her on many vacations. By the time she was born, we were settled in our careers and financially able to provide her with experiences she wouldn’t have had when we were young. Today she is 32, happily married and thriving. We talk every day and have a great mother/daughter relationship. If I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t change a thing." —@OPMom21

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"I was 39 and 42 when my kids were born; and I'm now 66 and they are 27 and 24. We were ten years older than the other parents in our childbirth class and our baby group. But my kids went to a preschool where there were lots of older parents -- I was probably the mean age of the moms there. It was in a community (Evanston, IL, suburb of Chicago) with lots of older parents. I was more of any outlier as my kids grew older, because we tended to be older than many of the parents. I used to joke that I didn't look old I actually was old. Or sometimes people thought I was younger because of the ages of my kids. One of the other parents told me Now most of the friends I grew up with are grandparents, even though none of their kids had kids young. I have a good relationship with both of my kids -- although it was strained at times when they were teens, particularly my eldest. I work hard at getting, staying healthy so I can be around for them for a long time. My own mom died when she was 50 and I was 20, so I've already made it past that frightening point on both sides of it. I didn't want my kids to be motherless children until they were well into adulthood. I'm not sure what else you want to know. I have two nieces who both had kids when they were older than 35 in San Francisco, which, I just read has the oldest mothers in the country. They are fine about it." —@here_and_there_their

"I certainly was not ‘the old mom’ because like my peers, I got my career going first before having kids after 35 and then when my kids went to school, the other parents were also in their early 40s. We were all well educated and professional and so our kids attended a private school where younger parents would have been unusual." —@leatclowns

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"Here I am, ready to burst the "everything is amazing" bubble! ...Although I don't fit the brief 100%... I had my youngest at 34. But close enough? It's horrible compared to the kids I had in my early and mid 20s! I am healthy. I am fit and active. But there is NO comparison to how much more energy I had ~10 years ago! Please don't get me wrong! I love all of em to bits! All of them were planned and so very much wanted! But I have so much less energy, so much less patience,...like, there really are no words to describe it! The worst though, is when it comes to injuries. Since I am, and always was, very active - injuries do happen from time to time. That's just the way things go, when you're running, skiing, horse riding, biking,...,...In my 20s, that would be a sprain, some bruises or such... but now? I was out 6 weeks (!!!!) due to a stupid tumble in the snow! It wasn't even a bad fall! My body just isn't as flexible anymore, my reflexes aren't as fast anymore. I feel so sorry for my youngest, who will never meet the super active, high energy, up for anything person, that I was for my older two. I'm sorry folks, but there's a reason professional athletes mostly retire in their 30s. It's because your physical abilities start to decline. Even for professionals!" —@Alone_Lemon

"I’m 48(m) my wife too, we have 11, 7, and nearly 3 year old. We are in the thick of it with trying to raise 3 kids, prime of careers, but yet worrying about saving for retirement at exactly the same time as saving for college. Don’t have time to feel old or tired, it’s all go around this place. The mostly grey haired wrinkly face guy I catch a glimpse of sometimes reminds me of our age, but luckily I spend more time looking at my much younger looking wife than myself. She on the other hand has the raw end of the deal. :)"—@ Realist1976

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"I'm male - I was 41 when my daughter was born and 43 when my son was born. I was living in a big urban city, so 'older parents' weren't that uncommon. When I talk to younger people about having kids my advice is always the same: Have them when you are young. There is a biological reason a 25-year-old can stay up late and still get up for work in the morning. It's not for nightclubbing. It's for parenting infants & small children. By the time I was 18 my parents were in their mid-40s. They could still travel together and live life. You will feel you will never have enough money or enough time to have kids. So if you are in a relationship and want to have them, then have them." —@StoreSearcher1234

"I had a easy time when I had my daughter at 19 yrs old. Not that easy when I had 2 sons back to back at 36 and 37. Everything was harder especially recovery. I had C Sections with all and i was running around and cleaning house when I got home with daughter. With sons it took weeks to recover. But I have to say the boys got easier as they got older and I’m proud to say we all lived thru it!" —@debbiedo2019

"I do not know anyone who intentionally had kids before 35. We’re all doing great lol. However, my friends who had kids before 35 struggled with financial and relationship insecurity…" —@AdmirableCrab60

old, getting old, older, feeling old, old age Aging Season 9 GIF by Friends Giphy

"I was 40, everyone around me has had kids about the same age so socially it’s not a big deal, but personally I feel old and tired." —@strumthebuilding

"I'm probably never going to meet my grandchildren. Other than that, things are pretty good, I still see both of my kids every week." —@blinkyknilb

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The note was so sweet. It was also completely unnecessary.

Things got post-apocalyptic in a hurry.

Minimal partner resentment and a smoother running household? Yes, please.

"Do the 9 lives start before or after parenting?" 😸

"Heck yeah!" This little cancer warrior is helping everyone who hates needles find courage.

She says sitting on the bench instead of playing doesn't make you lazy.

"I've been called their grandmother a handful of times now, but I find it hilarious."