upworthy
Family

Adult children who had 'good parents' share what their parents did right

There's a lot we can learn from these parenting success stories.

older parents with adult kids
Photo credit: Canva

Good parenting is often most recognized in hindsight.

When you're in the thick of parenting, it can feel like you're just flying by the seat of your pants. You can read every parenting book under the sun and still feel like you're doing it wrong, and the conflicting advice about what to do and what not to do with your kids is enough to make your head spin. To make it even more complicated, each kid who comes into your life brings their own unique personalities, leading to specific joys and challenges and making definitive rules about parenting seem silly at best.

However, there's no doubt that some parents manage to raise kids into solid, healthy, contributing adult humans while maintaining good relationships with them. Some of those adult children are sharing what their parents did that made them good parents—what they did right in raising them—and it's a treasure trove of excellent parenting examples.

from AskReddit

Here are some of the most popular responses:

They supported their kids' interests without judgment

"My parents are imperfect, but they did a lot of things right. The biggest one that sticks out to me is that they're supportive of things my brother and I like even when they don't understand or like it. They didn't really care for skateboarding, but they spent hundreds of dollars over the years for my brother to enjoy his hobby. They not only helped me get a drum set, but allowed the band to hold practice in our basement and drove us to all our shows. They wanted me to be a lawyer, but they were willing to settle for line cook. It made a difference in the long run, because eventually it helped me realize that I get to make my own choices in life - nothing is laid out for me. I can do whatever I enjoy, and my parents will be there for me, cheering me on."

"My parents are the same. My brother always showed huge passion over a short period of time for things like skateboarding, drums, BMXing etc and our parents happily bought him what was required for him to pursue his interests. He never did well academically so they were supportive when he chose to go into construction; our dad actually helped him get a job. When my brother showed restlessness with that job, our dad helped him start a business and kept it afloat during periods of financial difficulty.

I on the other hand, had my limited interests in reading and drawing nurtured. I was given books whenever requested and was supported when pursuing an art degree. Now I’m pursuing an entirely different degree and I’m supported by our parents once again in their own way.

They’ve never encouraged us in ways other parents might. We don’t get told we’ve done a good job or to keep going when we’re about to give up, we just know exactly what is expected of us and know if we fail, our parents won’t hold it against us. They’re there, quietly cheering us on in the background."

They explained themselves to their kids

"Taught respect, never played favorites. But the biggest thing was they always explained their actions and we're willing to discuss why, and occasionally even change their mind. It was never 'no because I said so.' I think I didn't really have a rebellious phase because they never really forbid anything, it was always 'well you can do that when you don't live here.'"

parents talking to young kidsExplaining things to your kids is key. Photo credit: Canva

"This is honestly one of the biggest things a parent can do right. Mine always tried their best to explain everything to me. There was rarely ever any 'Because I said so' moments. Knowing the reasons why I could or couldn't do something made me listen 99% of the time. 'No, do your homework first - you'll have more time to play later.' 'No, you can't have that toy - we only have $200 to last us the rest of the week,' 'No, you can't be out past dusk - something bad's more likely to happen to you when it's dark.' It made me respect my parents instead of resent them, and it also helped me develop good habits and reasoning early on."

They were fair-minded and taught fair-mindedness

"My dad was exceptionally fair. Any conflict would be solved by sitting down and having me evaluate multiple perspectives. If we could reason through an issue and it appeared someone had indeed treated me poorly/done the wrong thing and I was 'in the right,' he would give me credit for that but then still work with me to find a way to resolve the issue with the other person. Vice versa, if I was wrong he had a way of conversing with me that made me realise it on my own.

I think this really helped in building some character traits I’m very grateful for, but it also built a child/parent relationship with mutual trust. I felt comfortable approaching my dad about anything. I knew he’d tell me about it if I was wrong, but I also knew he would back me if I was in the right. That was powerful, to feel respected as a teenager. It’s only now I’m an adult I realise how that empowerment drove me to be responsible for my own actions rather than blaming the world for not understanding me."

"Ah, my mother does this. One of the biggest things she taught me is to put myself in the other person's shoes and see the situation from their perspective rather than just my own. It's really shaped me into a kinder person, I think, and I'm really grateful for her."

They taught by their own example

"A lot of it was the little things they taught me by example. Stuff like being patient and kind to customer service or waitstaff. I’ve seen my parents get unbelievably mad with cable companies, but never to their face; they keep their cool and stay as polite as they can be on the phone, then blow a gasket after the call where it won’t get dumped on a call center worker who doesn’t deserve it. Just because you’re having a shitty day doesn’t mean they need to get cussed out too.

They also taught me to be accepting of others’ beliefs by example. We grew up going to church and when I came back from college I had done some thinking and decided I didn’t believe in God at all, and told my parents as much. My dad, who was the sitting president of the church council, said “alright, we won’t wake you up early on Sundays, and if you ever do want a ride to church you know where to find us”, and that was the end of the discussion.

Honestly a lot of principles I hold today are because I try to follow in their footsteps, since it’s because of them that I try to be a decent and honest person every day."

"They led by example. My parents never expected things out of me that they didn't live by themselves. Whether it was something as simple as being open and honest to our entire family or something more complicated like living within your means, budgeting, and treating all people with total kindness. It's a lot easier as a kid to look-up to your parents when they live their daily lives by the same values they taught me."


dad talking to a sonCycle breaking parents are superheroes.Photo credit: Canva

They broke cycles of dysfunction

"My parent's weren't perfect and they weren't wealthy. My dad was abandoned as a child, in a state thousands of miles away from home, raised with a bunch of people he wasn't related to. My mom was a child of divorced parents, abused and hated by her step parents. They found each other and worked their ass's off so me, my sister, and my brother never had to go through those same troubles. Both of my parents have trauma from their youth, my dad can be paranoid, my mom struggles with depression, but they never abandoned us. When my cousin was starving because my auntue was out drinking, they took him in, and he became my brother. Sometimes they argue, sometimes they yell, but they never laid hands on each other. They've been there for me countless times, even when it cost everything. Now that I'm older I'm trying my hardest to be there for them, because i know now what they've done for us. They broke the cycle."

"My mom came from a huge, poor family. Her father was a physically abusive alcoholic and her mom was mentally ill. Her siblings are almost all into drugs and crime.

My dad's parents were immigrants, and were pretty locked into their culture. They all worked hard, but no one took care of their mental health and honoring your elders was more important than happiness. He married a tall white lady anyway.

They always encouraged me to do whatever I wanted, and be whoever I wanted. They broke cycles too, and they're amazing. They were financially smart and sacrificed so much for us, and I'm glad they're close to reaping the rewards in their retirement."

Some practices that popped up repeatedly in the discussion were:

- they spent time with me

- they read to me

- they loved me through mistakes

- they didn't shelter me

- they trusted me

- they respected me

One thing that a lot of people pointed out was that their "good" parents certainly weren't perfect. It might be a relief for current parents to know that you don't have to parent perfectly to have kids who are grateful for how you raised them.

May we all be the kinds of parents who are spoken of this highly by our adult kids when we're not around to hear it.

From Your Site Articles
parenting
Pop Culture

'Wheel of Fortune' fans left shocked after contestant wins $50,000 solving impossible puzzle

“How in the world did you solve that last one?” asked host Ryan Seacrest.

Wheel of Fortune/Youtube

That was quite impressive.

Listen, while we all love a hilarious Wheel of Fortune fail, watching an epic win can be just as entertaining. And that’s exactly what recently happened on The Wheel when a contestant named Traci Demus-Gamble made a winning puzzle solve so out-of-nowhere that it made host Ryan Seacrest jokingly check her for a hidden earpiece.

In a clip posted to the show’s YouTube account Friday, Jan. 17, Demus-Gamble waved to her husband who was standing on the sidelines before going up to the stage for her next challenge: guess a four-word “phrase.”

Demus-Gamble wasn’t off to a great start, as only two of her given letters (“T” and “E”) made it to the board. And the odds didn’t improve much after Demus-Gamble, admittedly “nervous,” gave the letters “M,” “C,” “D,” and “O” and only two of those letters showed up once on the board.

“Again, not too much more, but who knows, you’ve had a lot of good luck tonight,” Seacrest said. “Maybe it’ll strike you.”

Then, all in under ten seconds (more like in 1.5 seconds), Demus-Gamble correctly guessed, “They go way back” like it was nothing.

Watch the incredible moment below:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

As the audience cheered, Seacrest playfully circled Demus-Gamble, as though searching for an earpiece that must have fed her the winning guess. Down in the comments, people were equally floored.

“Now THAT was an amazing solve.”

“Wow! That was impressive!”

“I couldn't solve that one to save my life, but Demus-Gamble got it like it was nothing.”

“There's only one way to describe this to me: 😦”

At the end of the clip, Seacrest opened the envelope to reveal that Demus-Gamble’s puzzle solve won her $50,000, earning her a total win of $78,650. Certainly not chump change.

As for her winning strategy—Demus-Gamble assured no cheating was involved. “I just dug deep," she told Seacrest. We’ll say.

From Your Site Articles
joy
Education

People's wrong answers to this 'easy' LSAT question are why public discourse is so hard

The basic reading comprehension and critical thinking question almost feels like a litmus test.

Photo credit: Canva

LSAT questions start easy and get harder as the test progresses.

Public discourse can be great when it's done well, when everyone brings thoughtful, well-informed opinions to the table and puts forth cogent arguments backed up by evidence. We don't all have to agree on everything—differences in perspectives and priorities are important ingredients in a democratic society—but the quality of the actual arguments themselves matter.

Since the advent of social media, public discourse has not been so great, especially on the internet. The written nature of online discussions seems like it would lend itself to fewer misconceptions and better understanding, but it doesn't. People draw erroneous and illogical conclusions all the time, and it often feels like reading comprehension and critical thinking skills are hard to come by. According to an unintentional social experiment on X, there may be some truth to that.

An X user (@sarahpatt08) shared a photo of a question from the LSAT, the test people have to pass in order to be admitted to law school, and asked if people found the question easy or difficult. The instructions are partially cut off but appear to indicate that you are to choose the best answer based only on the information given, avoiding assumptions that are not directly supported by the passage.

The question reads:

"Physical education should teach people to pursue healthy, active lifestyles as they grow older. But the focus on competitive sports in most schools causes most of the less competitive students to turn away from sports. Having learned to think of themselves as unathletic, they do not exercise enough to stay healthy.

Which of one of the following is most strongly supported by the statements above, if they are true?

(A) Physical education should include noncompetitive activities.

(B) Competition causes most students to turn away from sports.

(C) People who are talented at competitive physical endeavors exercise regularly.

(D) The mental aspects of exercise are as important as the physical ones.

(E) Children should be taught the dangers of a sedentary lifestyle."

These kinds of reading comprehension and reasoning questions are common to tests like the LSAT and the SAT. One way to tackle them is to start eliminating the answers that are not directly supported by the text. Starting from the bottom:

(E) is not supported because the text doesn't say anything about a sedentary lifestyle actually being dangerous, and this answer doesn't include anything the passage is focused on (competitive sports turning kids who aren't competitive away from exercise).

(D) is not supported because while competitiveness could be considered a mental aspect of exercise, it's not always. And there's nothing in the text to support the idea that mental and physical aspects of exercise are equally important.

(C) is not supported because the text doesn't say anything about talent. Someone could be competitive and enjoy competitive sports but be totally untalented, and being talented at something doesn't necessarily mean you do it regularly.

(B) is not supported because there is no indication from the passage that most students (in general) aren't competitive, only that most of the less competitive students turn away from sports.

(A) is the answer most supported by the passage because the crux of the argument in the passage is that noncompetitive students are often turned off of physical education by the emphasis on sports in most schools. Therefore, the most logical conclusion is that having more noncompetitive activities would get more kids involved in physical education.

For some people, the correct answer was simple and obvious. For others, not so much. Some people made what they thought were strong arguments for (D). Others insisted it was (E). Not many said (C) but there were a handful on the (B) train. And those who knew the answer to be (A) were taken aback by how many people came to different conclusions.

And therein lies one answer to why our public discourse often feels like it can't get anywhere. Answering a reading comprehension and reasoning question like this correctly is easy for some people. Some think it's easy but then get the wrong answer, and some see multiple answers as equal contenders for "best." Everyone believes they're the ones thinking critically and using logic, but many people fail to recognize the assumptions they make when reading and the biases and unsupported ideas that slip into their reasoning.

The most supported answer based on the text is (A). Is that what you got?

From Your Site Articles
education
Internet

Gen Zer asks Gen X how they got around without GPS and the answers are perfectly accurate

"We're old. Older than Google, too."

Photo credit: Canva

Gen Zer asks how people got around without GPS, Gen X responds

It's easy to forget what life was like before cell phones fit in your pocket and Google could tell you the meaning of life in less than .2 seconds. Gen Z is the first generation to be born after technology began to move faster than most people can blink. They never had to deal with the slow speeds and loud noises of dial up internet.

In fact, most people that fall in the Gen Z category have no idea that their parents burned music on a CD thinking that was peak mix tape technology. Oh, how wrong they were. Now songs live in a cloud but somehow come out of your phone without having to purchase the entire album or wait until the radio station plays the song so you can record it.

But Gen Z has never lived that struggle so the idea of things they consider to be basic parts of life not existing are baffling to them. One self professed Gen Zer, Aneisha, took to social media to ask a question that has been burning on her mind–how did people travel before GPS?

Now, if you're older than Gen Z–whose oldest members are just 27 years old–then you likely know the answer to the young whippersnapper's question. But even some Millennials had trouble answering Aneisha's question as several people matter of factly pointed to Mapquest. A service that requires–you guessed it, the internet.

Aneisha asks in her video, "Okay, serious question. How did people get around before the GPS? Like, did you guys actually pull a map and like draw lines to your destination? But then how does that work when you're driving by yourself, trying to hold up the map and drive? I know it's Gen Z of me but I kind of want to know."

@aneishaaaaaaaaaaa I hope this reaches the right people, i want to know
♬ original sound - aneishaaaaaaa

These are legitimate questions for someone who has never known life without GPS. Even when most Millennials were starting to drive, they had some form of internet to download turn-by-turn directions, so it makes sense that the cohort between Gen Z and Gen X would direct Aneisha to Mapquest. But there was a time before imaginary tiny pirates lived inside of computer screens to point you in the right direction and tales from those times are reserved for Gen X.

The generation known for practically raising themselves chimed in, not only to sarcastically tell Millennials to sit down but to set the record straight on what travel was like before the invention of the internet. Someone clearly unamused by younger folks' suggestion shares, "The people saying mapquest. There was a time before the internet kids."

Others are a little more helpful, like one person who writes, "You mentally note landmarks, intersections. Pretty easy actually," they continue. "stop at a gas station, open map in the store, ($4.99), put it back (free)."

"Believe it or not, yes we did use maps back then. We look at it before we leave, then take small glances to see what exits to take," someone says, which leaves Aneisha in disbelief, replying, "That's crazyy, I can't even read a map."

"Pulled over and asked the guy at the gas station," one person writes as another chimes in under the comment, "and then ask the guy down the street to make sure you told me right."

Imagine being a gas station attendant in the 90s while also being directionally challenged. Was that part of the hiring process, memorizing directions for when customers came in angry or crying because they were lost? Not knowing where you were going before the invention of the internet was also a bit of a brain exercise laced with exposure therapy for those with anxiety. There were no cell phones so if you were lost no one who cared about you would know until you could find a payphone to check in.

The world is so overly connected today that the idea of not being able to simply share your location with loved ones and "Ask Siri" when you've gotten turned around on your route seems dystopian. But in actuality, if you took a few teens from 1993 and plopped them into 2024 they'd think they were living inside of a sci-fi movie awaiting aliens to invade.

Technology has made our lives infinitely easier and nearly unrecognizable from the future most could've imagined before the year 2000, so it's not Gen Z's fault that they're unaware of how the "before times" were. They're simply a product of their generation.

This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles
traveling without gps
Joy

5th grader makes her dad proud by getting suspended from school for the best reason

“A good lesson in ‘do the right thing in spite of the consequences’”

Photo credit: Canva

Dad couldn't be prouder of what his little girl did that got her suspended.

A dad shared a story about his daughter on Reddit that’s been getting some traction online. He shared that he got a “dreaded call” from his daughter’s school, telling her that she was suspended. When he found out why, he couldn’t be prouder.

“Some of my daughter's classmates were using Google translate to taunt another classmate that doesn't speak English, saying him and his family will be deported now. I won't go into details, but my daughter did just enough,” said the dad. “Needless to say, I'm so incredibly proud of her. She was the one who stood up and stopped it by the means she thought was right.”

Girl with "stop bullying" written on her handsThe girl did more than just write on her hands.Photo credit: Canva

The father shared that even the school didn’t seem to want to punish her daughter, but felt that they had to do so because of the school’s strict rules and “zero tolerance and all that.”

Other fathers threw in their two cents on the situation in the comments section:

“Good job raising a great daughter.”

“You take that star stand up citizen of a kid out for ice cream, a movie, and a giant tub of popcorn.”

“A good lesson in ‘do the right thing despite the consequences’.”

To that comment, the dad replied, “100%. And she took the "consequences" on the chin, too. I'm going to do my part to make sure she knows she's not in trouble. I'm taking the next 3 days off work, too. And we're going to live it up.”

The fellow dads continued to praise the father’s reaction and his daughter’s actions, offering suggestions for activities for the daughter’s three-day break from school.

Doing the right thing isn’t always easy and often has consequences that don’t benefit the “hero” of a situation. Sometimes the right thing is defending the harassed personally, like this young girl did for her classmate. Other times it’s to peacefully but firmly protest, much like in the Civil Rights movement and the “good trouble” that the late John Lewis described that often ended with protesters getting arrested.

Person offering their hand to lift someone upOffering your hand to help someone doesn't always come with a reward.Photo credit: Canva

However, doing the correct thing doesn’t always end with a loving dad rewarding you for your actions. The range of consequences for doing the right thing varies from suspension from classes for performing schoolyard justice to death sentences carried out to now-historical figures that we celebrate today.

Susan B. Anthony is celebrated as a person who fought against slavery and battled for women’s rights, including the right to vote, but was often scorned, ridiculed, and arrested for her “disruption.” In Nazi Germany, pastor Dietrich Bonhoeffer vocally protested anti-Semitism in his country and was executed for his part in a failed plot to assassinate Adolf Hitler. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was often vilified during his time for his actions to fight for Civil Rights, and was ultimately assassinated. Their actions weren’t rewarded, but they had a major impact for actual change while inspiring others to follow in their footsteps to do what is just.

Martin Luther King Jr. participating in a protestMLK got into a lot of trouble for doing the right thing.Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons

You don’t need to do big gestures like these people did to defend the weak and do what’s right. This young girl just saw something wrong and proceeded to do what action she felt was right to correct the wrongdoing. For you, your response to something that isn’t right depends on your resources and ability. If you’re a person with a specific set of skills, you can use your skills to help the victimized. For example, a contractor could assist people who have lost their home to a disaster or a lawyer can provide legal counsel to a person being unjustly imprisoned. If you’re financially fortunate, you can donate money and time to a foundation that’s actively fighting an injustice you see. If you’re neither of these things, you can still just step in to say, “Hey, stop!” whenever you see a form of bullying at school, work, or at home. You won't get rewarded, in fact you'll sacrifice money and time, along with other hassles. But it'll bring some good along with the trouble.

Essentially, be bold and fight for others like this little girl. You might not get three days worth of fun in the end, but it’ll make the world just a little bit better.

From Your Site Articles
fathers and daughters
Joy

Woman gives friend hilarious book of all the actors and shows she has mispronounced over the years

Salon Dion? No, it's Celine Dion.

via Concerttour/Wikimedia Commons, Anirudh Koul/Wikimedia Commons, Flaunt/Flickr

Celine Dion, Ludacris, and Alix Earle.

Do you have one of those friends who is “information adjacent” about many topics? Meaning that they come close to getting the name of an actor or TV show correct but fall short in the most hilarious way possible. Or, are you that person who can’t quite remember the name of a book, or you flub the occasional figure of speech?

If so, you’ll probably appreciate the super creative gift that TikTok user Kayla Foscarota, a 28-year-old teacher from Massachusetts, made for her friend Kellie. It’s an elegant-looking self-published book with all the names of famous people, movies, books, and TV shows that she has been mispronouncing over the years. Kayla even gave it a cover resembling the Apple Notes app, which is probably where she has been writing down all these mispronunciations over the years.

"For years, I've been writing down all of the things my friend Kellie confidently says, almost right but very wrong," Kayla opens the video.


The gift is a fantastic way of telling Kellie she loves her despite the fact that she has a pretty awful memory. The book features some epicly wrong pronunciations of celebrity names, such as “Lucifer” for Ludacris and “Salon Dione” for Celiene Dieon. Kellie also thought that model Alix Earl was “Earl Jones,” clearly, it was a mix-up with recently-deceased “Star Wars” star James Earl Jones.

The video received over 17 million views and even attracted the attention of Earle, who posted the most popular comment: “I will now be going by Earl Jones,” the Sports Illustrated model joked.

@kaylafosc

THE LIST #funnyvideo #funnymoments #fyp #foryoupage #alixearle #hbomax #itendswithus #viraltiktok #fyppppppppppppppppppppppp #colleenhoover #ludacris #aubreyplaza #gameofthronestiktok #willferrell #sharpobjects @Alix Earle @HBO @Colleen Hoover @It Ends With Us @Celine Dion @Ludacris @Game of Thrones @Brooke Shields @WillFerrellOfficial

The video inspired a slew of commenters to share some of the funniest mispronunciations they’ve ever heard.

"Once, my mom said, 'I need to decompose,' when she meant decompress."

"This reminded me of when my brother referred to the Bermuda Triangle as the 'Bahama Pyramids.'"

"A friend of mine said backward therapy instead of reverse psychology."

"With my sis, 'Fix It Mike' = Wreck It Ralph."



"My bff once said, 'Ur making me unconscious' (self-conscious)."

"My sister is a master in this: she once referred to Stockholm Syndrome by naming it Helsinki Complex."

"An old coworker brought doughnuts to the office and said, 'I have perversions.' He meant provisions."

"My ex-boyfriend called fraternal twins nocturnal twins."

"Me when my cousin calls The Rock, The Brick."

"I work with a woman who very insistently calls Sydney Sweeney 'Sweeney Todd.'"



"My fiancé doesn’t let me live down that I forgot the word for ankles and called them 'foot wrists.'"

"My late grandmother thought it was Leonardo De Capuccino. May she rest in peace."

"My friend said white as a goat instead of white as a ghost."

Kayla, Kerrie, and millions on TikTok have had a great laugh over Kellie’s mispronunciations. But the video has an even deeper, sweeter side. There’s nothing more wonderful in a friend than someone who truly listens to you. Kayle took things a step further, and she not only listened to Kellie but took notes. Now, that’s true friendship.

From Your Site Articles
friendship
Trending Stories