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Boomers often forget what it's like having young kids. Millennials call it 'gramnesia.'

"You never had tantrums when you were little!"

@millennialmomtherapist/Instagram, Photo credit: Canva

Millennials, are you victims of "gramnesia"?

If there's one thing we're really good at in 2025, it's giving specific phenomena a catchy, viral name. It’s funny how once a sort of abstract experience gets a name attached to it, it suddenly becomes much easier to understand and relate to. The Internet—and primarily TikTok—has been great for that. Sure, things get out of hand quite easily (like the overuse of “therapy speak”), but there has also been quite a lot of validation and meaningful conversations that have spawned from these overnight buzzwords.

Case and point: “Gramnesia.”

“Gramnesia,” which combines the words “grandparent” and “amnesia,” has been popping up on Reddit discussions for a while now, though the coiner of the term seems unknown. But only recently has it been really gaining traction.

Back in June of 2024, Maryland-based therapist and mom Allie McQuaid, really brought “gramnesia” to the forefront of the conversation when she made an Instagram video all about it.

“I just heard this term called ‘gramnesia’ when grandparents forget what it’s really like having young kids and I can’t stop thinking about how accurate it is,” she said in the clip.

In her caption, McQuaid shared how so many of her clients would get “slammed” by their parents about how different (i.e. “easier”) raising kids was for them whenever they brought their own children around.

These hyperbolic memories are, as McQuaid put it, so “ridiculous” that they've clearly “forgot[ten] what it was really like in those early years of parenthood.”

Some examples of “gramnesia” statements could be:

“You never had tantrums when you were a kid”

“I potty trained you before you were one”

“You were always happy to eat whatever we fed you.”

“You were spanked and turned out fine!”

Clearly, McQuaid’s video struck a chord, because it wasn’t long before people begin chiming in with their own stories of gramnesia:

“My MIL, over the years, loved to act like her children were perfect growing up. I love to tell the stories of her son (my hubby) getting into all kinds of trouble as a kid - oh the shock.”

“*Baby makes any kind of noise* Grandma: "Oh they must be teething!" Me : "Umm she's 4 months old, She isn't teething yet - just has feelings and is you know - A BABY" grandma: ‘well my kids had all their teeth by 4 months’ 😐🤨”

“5 months old and not sleeping through the night? Did you try rice cereal? Baby not walking ? Rice cereal. Baby not in college yet? Have you tried rice cereal?”

“Ugh my dad literally just said this to me last week… ‘I don’t remember you guys having this many tantrums’… 🙄 right after my boys were upset.”


parenting, conflict, kids, parents, gramnesia These moments may be harder to remember. Image via Canva

McQuaid posited some theories as to why gramnesia exists in the first place.

One is that it could simply be the natural tendency to have a cognitive bias which puts past experiences in a more positive light than they actually were, aka having “euphoric recall.” As she told Huffpost, we tend to have a “foggier memory of how things truly were” as we get older, “especially if the experience we had was particularly difficult or even traumatic.”

Plus, the first few years of parenthood are often such a blur anyway. McQuaid herself admitted that ”I even have a hard time remembering the first year of motherhood, and that was only four years ago.”

In addition, McQuaid theorized that gramnesia exists because previous generations “were not given space to express emotions or indicate that they were struggling to adjust to motherhood.” Honestly, a sound hypothesis.

And for the frustrated folks itching to confront their boomer parents about this, McQuaid suggests picking your battles.

“Check your capacity if you have the space or energy to even consider bringing up your frustration with your parents,” she told Huffpost. “You are likely in the throes of parenting right now, and maybe all you can do is smile and nod after hearing for the 100th time how ‘you were never like this.’”

However, if you are determined to bring it up and set the record straight, McQuaid suggests to actually keep it centered around you and how the situation makes you feel, rather than combating their memories. So, instead of saying, “That’s NOT how it happened!” try something like, “When you said that I never did X when I was Y’s age, it makes me question how well I’m doing as a parent.” Probably easier said than done, to be sure.

And while this sore spot might never come to a full resolution for a lot of millennial parents, at least take some solace in knowing that you’re not crazy, nor are you alone.

parenting, parenting life, parents, babies, having children You'll probably forget the stress of these days too. Image via Canva.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Married couple says the '3-Hour Night' hack has totally improved their marriage

“It's been so fun and such...a game changer for how our evenings go.”

@racheleehiggins/TikTok

Want out of a relationship rut? The Three hour night might be the perfect solution.

Almost every long term relationship suffers from a rut eventually. That goes especially for married partners who become parents and have the added responsibility of raising kids. Maintaining a connection is hard enough in this busy, fast-paced world. Top it off with making sure kids are awake, dressed, entertained, well fed, oh yeah, and alive…and you best believe all you have energy for at the end of the day is sitting on the couch barely making it through one episode of your favorite show on Netflix.

And yet, we know how important it is to maintain a connection with our spouses. Many of us just don’t know how to make that happen while juggling a million other things. According to one mom, a “three-hour night” could be just the thing to tick off multiple boxes on the to-do list while rekindling romance at the same time. Talk about the ultimate marriage hack.

bored, couple, marriage hack, man ywaning, concerned woman A couple that has lost their spark.via Canva/Photos

What is the 3-Hour Night marriage hack?

The three-hour night was something that Rachel Higgins and her husband began incorporating into their lives at the beginning of 2024. And so far, “it's been so fun and such...a game changer for how our evenings go,” she says in a clip posted to TikTok.

Before using the three-hour night, the evening would look a bit like this: their daughter would go to bed, they would lounge on the couch, scroll through social media, then fall asleep. Sound familiar?

But with a three-hour night, Higgins and her husband divvy up the time before bed into three sections, each for a different focus.In the first hour, starting around 7 p.m., is what Higgins calls “productive time,” during which the couple sees to any household chores that might need to be done.

“So, start with like a quick cleanup of the kitchen or just like things that accumulated throughout the day, and then we try to do something that either ... has been being put off or cleaning the bathroom or like organizing the pantry or hall closet or something like, super random like sharpening the knives. Anything that's productive for the household,” she explains.


@rachelleehiggins

if you’re stuck in a rut with your evenings try this! i saw someone do something similar to this a while ago but can’t remember who! #marriage #1sttimeparents #newyearsgoals

Next, the second hour is geared towards re-establishing a physical or emotional connection in their marriage. The phones go away, and they focus only on enjoying one another.

“So, that could be things like showering together or ‘having fun’ together, playing a game together, or just like anything that's gonna get you guys talking and connecting or like debriefing from the day or just like talking about what you're doing and like the plans for tomorrow or like how work's going or whatever. So, anything that's gonna connect and strengthen and build your marriage,” Higgins says.

Lastly, the final hour of the night is dedicated to anything Higgins and her husband individually want to do, any sort of personal recharge activity. Since this is a judgment-free time, Higgins states that “If you just want to lie on the couch and scroll your phone and watch TikToks or whatever, like watch YouTube videos,” it’s totally acceptable.

happy coupe, couple in bed, young married couple, man with beard, smiling woman A happy couple in bed.via Canva/Photos

Higgins’ novel approach definitely interested viewers, who chimed in with their own questions. One major concern was how the heck this could be done every night. But even Higgins admits that she and her husband don’t succeed at having a three-hour night every night—they usually try for about 3-4 times a week. And honestly, even once a week could still probably be beneficial in building intimacy.

"Such a good idea. Good for us empty nesters too! The phone scrolling is outta control!"one commenter wrote. "This is really cool. The housework is equal. The emotional connection is equal and the self care is equal. No room for resentment," another added. "We don’t have kids yet but I love this and want to do it because the nights slip away so fast!!" a commenter added.

Others wondered how to have a three-hour night when things randomly popped up in their schedule, like when kids won’t magically go to sleep promptly at 7pm. Higgins shares that in these cases, they tend to just shorten each phase. The point being: these can and probably should be customizable, even fun, rather than yet another rigid chore.

Plus, a three-hour night (or whatever your version of a three-hour night may be) is a great way to remind yourself just how high a priority your relationship has in your life, no matter what else is going on at the time. Odds are you'll probably find you do have more time for it than you previously thought.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Parenting

Dad hears stepson tell his mom to 'chill.' His calm but firm response is causing a stir.

"We believe in consequences for our kids in addition to conversations. 💛"

@raisingmaletich /Instagram (with permission)

Parents Katie and Dustin (@raisingmaletich) are going viral for sharing a vulnerable parenting situation.

Being a parent is not an easy job, especially when it comes to discipline. But an Oregon couple with four kids, Katie and Dustin (@raisingmaletich) is going viral for sharing a video of a vulnerable parenting moment they had with their son.

In the video, their young son can be heard telling his mom Katie to "chill" after being told he can't use her phone. The comment is heard by his stepdad, Dustin. Immediately, Dustin makes it known that it is okay. Dustin asks his young stepson if he did in fact tell his mom to "chill". And when he replies 'yes', Dustin asks him to start doing pushups (and to "count 'em"). After doing 10, he says Dustin, "How many? I can't do anymore." Dustin replies, "Keep going." He hits 14 reps, and Dustin encourages him to do 2 more, telling him that he can do it.

Once he hit 16 reps, Dustin tells him to stand up to do a series of squats. After he finishes up his squats, Dustin asks him, "Do we tell our mom to chill out?" Their son replies, "No," and Dustin adds, "Absolutely not. I will not let you talk to her like that. I wouldn't let anyone else talk to her like that, so you don't get to talk to her like that, okay?"

After this, Dustin opens his arms to hug him, and their son walks towards Katie as he says, "Sorry, mom." Katie says, "Thank you, buddy." And Dusting tells him, "Hey. I love you," before he goes to him for another hug and a kiss on the head.

"I will never stop being grateful to be raising kids with a real man who knows how to be a father, especially to his boys. This is masculinity," they wrote in the video's caption, with more detail about what led to the scenario. "I was trying to send a work email while making breakfast for my family and my son kept asking me to use my phone after I had repeatedly told him 'no, you need to wait.' His dad overheard him tell me to 'chill' and here is how he handled it."

The video went viral, with many viewers showing support for how both Dustin and Katie handled the situation. "That’s a great dad right there. Calm, collected and knows how to do a punishment and still show compassion to his child," one commented. Another supportive viewer pointed out, "my favorite part is watching his sister rest her head on Daddy even while he’s mid-discipline! yes it is funny sibling behavior, but more than anything it speaks to Dad’s character. this is a home where everyone feels safe, and because of that, because there’s no yelling, hitting, cursing, etc, all the children can now benefit and learn by witnessing this. TERRIFIC parenting!!!"

Others praised Katie for not interjecting. "My favorite part is the the mom letting the dad BE A DAD," one wrote.

One viewer was curious if the couple would use the same style of discipline with their daughters, asking, "What’s the equivalent discipline for girls? Same thing?" And they responded, "Pretty much the same :) sometimes our girls require a bit of extra verbal communication and some extra extra tenderness 💛."

However, many viewers criticized the couple's handling of discipline with exercise. One viewer commented, "Yes, but don’t use exercise and forms of self improvement as punishments." Another added, "I love the words, but he’s at risk of teaching his kid that exercise is punishment and something you HAVE to do when you’ve done something wrong. That said, it’s a perfect example of why boys need a good male role model in their lives too." And another commented, "He doesn’t need to be humiliated… a conversation would solve the problem. He’s not in the army… I’d hate if my husband did that to my boy."

To address concerns and elaborate further about why they are okay with using physical exercise to discipline, the couple created a follow-up video.

In the video, Dustin says that he addressed his stepson's behavior in a "stern and immediate way", before addressing how they believed the pushups and squats would not later make their son associate physical exercise with punishment. "We both don’t really like the term 'punishment' and much prefer to describe any parental corrections as a disciplinary consequence. We aren’t perfect at it but our main goal in parenting is to always be intentional and not reactionary," they wrote in the video's caption.

The couple was asked if they had permission from their son to share the video with their followers. "we absolutely talked with him about it before we shared it and made sure he was completely okay with it," they wrote in the comments. "He was, in fact he was really excited to share it. Asks me every day how many views it has now haha. We have ring security cameras inside our house and that’s how the footage was captured :)."

Viewers expressed their thoughts once again. "You also hugged him and told him you loved him! GREAT JOB DAD👏👏👏👏👏," while another wrote, "Physical exercise gives him a chance to collect himself and burn off energy. Always a good move 💪."

Other had contradicting views. "I would keep the punishment shorter like 5 push ups and go… you want him to get the message… that’s it…" Another shared, "It's not even that you did had him do push ups, it's that he said he couldn't do anymore, and you told him to continue. My son truly enjoys working out because I've never used it as a form of punishment for him. How about you f*cking talk to your kid."

Katie also shared another follow-up video about criticism she received for not stepping in during her husband's discipling.

Katie says in the video, "Why wouldn't I let him step in and be the authority figure that I need him to be in order to raise strong, confident, good kids? I could not imagine not respecting him enough to not let him step in and be 'dad' in the way that he feels he needs to be."

And viewers shared their thoughts in the video's comment section. "It’s apparent that you guys act as a team and not as competitors 👏," one wrote, while another added, "It’s not necessarily the Mom 'letting' him step in. I admire you for not taking over but I have much respect for him stepping up and taking that role. Most men look the other way and force Mom to be the disciplinarian. I love that you two parent together and not against each other. ❤️"

Other viewers disagreed. "Shame on you. You both have taught him to be fearful of the dad and that's all that's been taught," one wrote. And another also added, "That’s a very immature comment. U could have achieved the same result of 'respect' with out fear and intimidation. Do better!"

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Dad shares the hilarious conversations he has with 5-year-old daughter and folks are cracking up

"Why do people congratulate you when Mom is making the baby?

via James Breakwell/X

All parents have had similar convos with thier kiddos.

Raising kids is tough, but there's a lot of laughs along the way. Especially when actual conversations start, as kids begin trying to make sense out of the world around them, ask questions, and test mommy and daddy's resolve.

Back in 2018, comedy writer and children's book author James Breakwell, with four daughters who were all under the age of eight at the time, shared their hilarious conversations on X. From these tweets, it looks like comedy runs in the family. Here's a sampling of some Breakwell's funniest kid-inspired tweets.
























While Breakwell's 7-year-old wasn't as heavily featured, when she was quoted, the sarcasm was palpable. Which makes sense, considering that kiddos begin understanding this mechanism around that age.













Kids really do say the darnedest things, and we love them for it. It one of the many, many ways then bring so much joy to the world. It almost makes up for the headaches and sleepless nights, doesn't it.

This article originally appeared seven years ago.

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