Laughter really is the best medicine, and there are a lot of ways to get your daily dose. You can rewatch an old funny movie that's been proven to get the job done, listen to a hilarious podcast, or goof around with friends. Maybe the most efficient way to really get yourself rolling, though, is to take in some stand-up comedy.
And while it feels like the true heyday of stand-up is over — the days of George Carlin and Richard Pryror — the truth is that stand-up is more popular than ever. That's thanks, in part, to Netflix, which drives millions of viewers to featured comedy acts, who then go on to sell out huge theaters for their shows.
Comedy is powerful, necessary, and relevant. In fact, Oscar Wilde once said, "If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you."
A Reddit user recently posed a great question on the AskReddit subforum: “What is a quote from a comedian you'll never forget?”
The post quickly went viral, receiving over 10,700 responses on the first day. Of the countless comedians mentioned in the thread, Norm Macdonald appears to be the most quotable.
Sadly, Macdonald died of cancer in 2021, but he was famous for his outlandish musings, delivered in a dry, deliberate tone. Macdonald is best known as a stand-up comedian, but he was also memorable on television as a cast member on "Saturday Night Live" from 1993 to 1997 and on his sitcom, “The Norm Show.” Two other deceased funnymen were often quoted in the discussion, Mitch Hedberg and George Carlin.
Hedberg’s comedy was based on short, memorable one-liners filled with absurdity. He passed away in 2005 from a drug overdose. George Carlin is often listed among the greatest stand-up comedians of all time and was a voice of the counterculture in the ‘60s and ‘70s. Later in life, his comedy evolved into a nihilistic criticism of American life that, for many, is still relevant today.
“It's called 'the American Dream' 'cause you have to be asleep to believe it,” Carlin said.
George Carlin is considered by many to be the GOATGiphy
Here are 23 of the funniest and most poignant quotes from a comedian shared by users on the AskReddit forum.
1.
"Every time you clog a toilet, you exceeded someone’s expectations." — Unknown
2.
"Everybody thinks they're a comedian. Especially in my line of work." — Norm Macdonald
This came from Macdonald's memoir, "Based on a True Story," a must-read for Norm fans. My favorite thing about this line is that it was a sort of random throwaway, almost an afterthought, as he was expressing disdain for a doctor who told a joke and got a big laugh from everyone else in the room.
And that doctor's joke? It was Macdonald's own moth story.
RIP Norm MacdonaldGiphy
3.
“I’m not an adventurous person. I’ve only ever used one side of a cheese grater.” — James Acaster
4.
“I’ve started cooking with wine. That sounds so fancy, cooking with wine. What I do is I get drunk and I make rice. I tell my friends ‘come over, I’m cooking with wine.’ They come over, I’m drunk, and there’s rice everywhere.” — Kevin Nealon
5.
"What is it like to have four kids? Imagine you are drowning, and then someone hands you a baby." — Jim Gaffigan
Jim Gaffigan, the funniest lazy dad you know.Giphy
6.
"I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread." — Mitch Hedberg
7.
“Cocaine is God's way of saying you make too much money." — Robin Williams
8.
"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'." — Bob Newhart
9.
“People say someone lost their battle with cancer. But if someone dies from cancer, the cancer dies too. I’d call that a draw.” — Norm MacDonald
10.
"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States." — Spike Milligan
11.
"When you are on fire, and running down the street, people will get out of your way." — Richard Pryor
Richard Pryor: a legend.Giphy
12.
"I was walking down the street the other day and these construction workers were working on the roof hammering away. One of them told me I was a paranoid lunatic...in morse code." — Emo Phillips
13.
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." — Groucho Marx
14.
"I didn't want to be Drunk in Public. I wanted to be drunk in a bar. They THREW me into public." — Ron White
15.
"I know I'm getting older, my last birthday cake looked like a prairie fire!" — Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield don't get no respect.Giphy
16.
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." — George Carlin
17.
"When you got a career there ain't enough time in the world...when you got a job there's too much time." — Chris Rock
18.
"She had enough plastic surgery so that when she crossed her legs, her mouth snapped open." — Joan Rivers
19.
"Nationalism does nothing but teach you to hate people you never met, and to take pride in accomplishments you had no part in." — Doug Stanhope
20.
"I'm impulsive, but I'm also quite indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now." - Dylan Moran
21.
“So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that’s funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn’t funny.” - Mitch Hedberg
22.
"When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful & difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid." - Ricky Gervais
Ricky Gervais dances in 'The Office'Giphy
23.
"The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly colored, and it's very loud, and it's fun for a while.
Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, 'Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?' And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say, 'Hey, don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.'
And we … kill those people.
'Shut him up! I've got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real.'
It's just a ride. But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok … But it doesn't matter, because it's just a ride.
And we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money. Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.
Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace." — Bill Hicks
This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.
- The huge price one comedian paid so that George Carlin, Richard Pryor, and others could make it big. ›
- People can't get enough of this guy's brilliant anti-motivational infomercial parody ›
- A comedian sparked a fierce debate when she exploded with rage at a male heckler ›
- Comedian's 'English lessons' highlight the absurdity of English spelling and pronunciation ›
A heart shaped neon sign in the dark
Photo by 
Robin Williams Hello GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment
Whats Up Hello GIF