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Gen Xers and Boomers were asked if life really used to be simpler. Ironically, it's complicated.

Turns out "simple" isn't so easily defined.

Photo credit: Canva

Did life used to be simpler or is that just nostlgia talking?

People have a tendency to look at the past through rose-colored glasses, focusing more on positive memories than negative ones (barring major traumas, which ). So when you ask a group of older people about what life was like in their younger years, you might get some less-than-accurate recollections. Nostalgia is a powerful filter, and time has a way of altering our perceptions of how things used to be.

That being said, times do change and the world has seen some dramatic shifts in our elders' lifetimes. Young folks can only imagine what life was like before the internet and smartphones and map apps that tell us step-by-step exactly how to get where we're going, while older people can look back on personal memories from those "simpler" days.

But was life really simpler then or is that just something people say out of a sense of nostalgia? A 28-year-old asked Gen Xers and Boomers that question, and ironically, the answer is a bit complicated.

In some ways, of course, life was simpler…or at least slower

The pace of everything seems to have accelerated and we find ourselves bombarded with so much stuff coming at us so fast, it's overwhelming. We're in a constant state of overstimulation, without the quiet down time we used to have built into the rhythm of daily life.

media.giphy.com

"Life was slower, which gave you time to deal with life, making it simpler."

""It was quieter. A bit slower. Less overstimulating."

"For every aspect of life made easier and sped up by technology, we're expected to do more to use the time that's been freed up. Doing boring tasks like hand laundry and washing dishes was a real chore, but it offered time to think and slow down mentally. I think this is something many of us lack at this point. Moreover, these days people would probably be watching a video on their phone or listening to a podcast while doing these tasks - that's fine, but it doesn't provide the mental down-time that was built into life much more back in the day. I think that being bored sometimes is probably good for our mental health."

"The speed of our ability to process and act is definitely out of balance with the speed of information."

"Tech evolved faster than our brains. A lot of people are suffering."

Having too many choices has made things feel more complicated

The irony of the modern age is that we have so much easy access to so many things, and those practically limitless choices are a burden on our psyches. The small stresses of so many small decisions add up mentally, making the world feel more complicated.

"Of course it was simpler. The more choices you have in any category (food, music, dating, finance), the more exponentially complicated it becomes. Millions of songs to choose from? 300 TV channels plus streaming services? Apps on my "smartphone" letting me see every available woman in a hundred mile radius? There are so many choices it's hard to make one."

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"This is a great point. I clearly remember a co-worker in the early 1990s expressing frustration in going to Home Depot to buy black spray paint. He complained about too many choices and longed for the old days when life was simpler. This post made me curious, so I did a quick search, and it seems Home Depot currently offers 19 types of black spray paint."

"This is such a good point. Having only 3 cable channels (4 when fox came along!) made it so much easier to decide what to watch on tv. Now we have thousands of options. I actually get stressed when I’m choosing a new show to stream lol."

"It was simpler because we had fewer options to choose from. Did I need a new pair of steel-toe work boots? Only one store in town sold them. They carried two brands. But only one brand had my size in stock. So I "chose" the only pair available. Simple.

Nowadays, with the internet, I'm supposed to choose from 100 possibilities, do the research, read the reviews. On the one hand, it's a hassle. On the other, I'm more likely to end up with boots that better meet my priorities."

On the other hand, many things are far simpler (or easier) than they used to be

There's no denying that technology has simplified a lot of tasks that used to be much more cumbersome. Vacation planning? Submitting applications for jobs or college? Figuring out how to fix something or finding a random part for a broken item? Being able to listen to a specific song or watch a specific movie? All infinitely simpler today than in the past.

"So many things are easier now. Banking for instance. Paying bills. Finding parts for your lawn mower or dishwasher. There is a YouTube video for any repair. Planning a trip. Almost everything is easier now than when I was a kid. Is it simpler then or now? Life is as simple as you make it. If you don't unnecessarily complicate your life, the ease of things today would make for the potential for a very simple life."

"In some ways, it's WAY simpler now. I want to register for some college classes? No lineups in person, no phone registration...just a few clicks on my laptop and I'm in. I never, ever have to fight crowds to do Christmas shopping. I don't have to wait a week to watch the latest episode of Seinfeld (sub in any current TV show). I want my Costo groceries, but my car's in the shop? Boom--delivered. Oh wait, I can just grab an Evo on the street outside my apartment and drive there! I am remembering my favourite album from fifty years ago? Hey Google, play "Madman Across the Water"! I forgot to pay my Hydro bill! Open laptop...three minutes later: done! Car battery dies? Contact BCAA online, they book me a tech to replace it at my home, and send a link for a map showing the tech's progress to my home. I could go on and on because I think about this [stuff] every day and how much I love it!"

via GIPHY

"Say you wanted to go on vacation. You had to write for information on specific places. You’d then write a hotel for reservations. You could call if they had a 800 number. You get all your reservations, and a map. You get travelers checks and cash from the bank— better get there before 5:00.

You’re on your way. Shit, you got a flat, or your car overheated. You need to walk, hitchhike, or knock on a random door for help. Too bad it’s the weekend. You’ll get a new tire on Monday.

Your destination is beautiful. You have three rolls of film— 36 photos. You pay $20 to get them developed and maybe 8 are decent. That thing you really wanted to see, oof, closed for restoration. Wish you knew.

Nothing is that complicated now. I have the knowledge of the world in my hand. I can drive 8 hours at 80mph and my car is fine, and has AC. I can check my bank account and pay bills 24/7. I know where my kids are all the time and can text them to come help."

As some people pointed out, life was simpler but it was also harder. Is that better? Depends on who you ask. A lot of what makes life feel complicated today are the choices we make about how we use technology, but we also rely on technology so figuring out how to simplify that part of our lives now feels…well…complicated.

There's no putting the genie back in the bottle at this point, but forcing ourselves to slow down, unplug and limit our own choices can help us bring back at least a little bit of the simplicity of the past.

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Mom recalls the uncomfortable moment an older man complimented her 6-year-old's appearance

When she didn't say "thank you," he accused her of having bad manners.

@yourejustliz/TikTok

“Nice is different than kind."

It might have been pretty universally accepted during our childhood for daughters to be expected to reciprocate affection from adults, whether they liked it or not. A non consensual kiss to grandparents here, a forced “thank you” there. But times have changed.

However, this change in parenting style can sometimes make for some, well, awkward or even downright uncomfortable situations as moms and dads try to advocate for this kid’s autonomy.

Recently, a mom named Liz Kindred detailed just such an incident with her six year old daughter, which has a whole lotta other parents discussing how to navigate these unideal interactions.

As she recalls in a video posted to TikTok, Kindred was waiting in line with her daughter when a grown man turned around and said “My goodness, you sure are pretty” to the child.

“My six-year-old is gorgeous, yes, but she is also very in tune and perceptive, and she's an introvert so she grabbed my leg really tight,” Kindred said.

Doubling down, the man repeated himself, saying “You sure are pretty. Look at those blue eyes,” which only made her shy daughter grab her leg harder.

Noting that being in a 12 step program has taught her to be less “knee jerk reactionary,” the mom bit her tongue and offered a polite smile to the man, hoping that would be the end of it. It wasn’t.


@yourejustliz I need to get my brows done
♬ Succession (Theme Song) - The Theme System


“He's a boomer and, God love him, he said, ‘I guess your mom didn't teach you manners.’ And I let out an uncomfortable little [chuckle], and the pause was long. It was long. And under his breath he said, ‘Guess not,’” she said.

In what she called the most ”Jesus loving way” she could muster, while still bluntly making her point, Kindred told the man "If you assume that I didn't teach my six-year-old daughter to say ‘thank you’ to a grown, consenting man when he compliments her appearance, then you would be correct."

What followed was the “longest silence” of Kindred’s life.

The video, which has been viewed over 6 million times now, prompted a ton of parents to share how their own kids have established boundaries in similar situations—with their support, of course.

“An old man called my 4 yr old daughter a sweetheart at the store…she boldly responded ‘I am NOT YOUR sweetheart!’ I was so proud,” on person recalled.

Another added, “My 3 year old says ‘NO THANK YOU MY BODY DOESN’T LIKE TAHT.’”

Still another said “My 2 yo knows the boundaries song and just starts singing that anytime someone talks to her.”

While the response to Kindred’s video was overwhelmingly positive, there were a few comments defending the man as simply being “kind.” This prompted Kindred to do a follow-up video doubling down on her decision.

In the clip, she shared how she herself has dealt with seemingly innocent compliments in her life from men, which later turned into something else. Feeling like she “didn’t have a voice” to say something, “because I’m a nice Christian, Southern girl,” Kindred ended up being in unsavory situations (she didn't explicitly say what those situations were, but it's easy enough to piece together). She doesn’t want her daughter to have the same issues.


@yourejustliz #stitch with @Liz Kindred ♬ Succession (Theme Song) - The Theme System

“Nice is different than kind. The kind thing to do is to teach our daughters and our children in this next generation that when you are uncomfortable with something you listen to your body and you set a firm boundary with that and you provide language around that. And you start that really really young.”

Yep. Well said.


This article originally appeared on 8.8.24

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Joy

People born between 1954 and 1965 are thrilled to learn they're not boomers, but 'Gen Jones'

"Whaaat? There's a name for us? I have never felt like a real boomer—or Xer! I feel normal for once!"

Photo credits: Michelle Obama, Montclair Film, Georges Biard

Michelle Obama, Stephen Colbert and Michelle Yeoh are all Gen Jonesers.

The Silent Generation. Baby boomers. Gen X. Millennials. Gen Z. Gen Alpha. Social science and pop culture commentators have spent decades grouping and analyzing the different generations, assigning various qualities, habits and tendencies to each age group.

But some people don’t identify with their generation, or at least these particular categories of them. Those on the cusp between two generations often feel like neither aligns with who they are..

That’s where Generation Jones comes in.

Like the Xennials that straddle Gen X and millennials, Generation Jones are not quite boomers but not quite Gen X. For most of their lives, those born between 1954 and 1965 have been lumped in with the baby boomers, but culturally they’ve never quite fit. They were too young to be involved in the major civil rights, women’s liberation and Vietnam war movements of the 60s, instead witnessing those social upheavals through children’s eyes. But they were also too old to identify with the Gen X latchkey kid angst.

Jonathan Pontell is the television producer, director, and writer who named Generation Jones and explained what made them unique. “We fill the space between Woodstock and Lollapalooza, between the Paris student riots and the anti-globalisation protests, and between Dylan going electric and Nirvana going unplugged,” he wrote in Politico in 2009.

He also explained why Gen Jonesers make good leaders:

“What makes us Jonesers also makes us uniquely positioned to bring about a new era in international affairs. Our practical idealism was created by witnessing the often unrealistic idealism of the 1960s. And we weren’t engaged in that era’s ideological battles; we were children playing with toys while Boomers argued over issues. Our non-ideological pragmatism allows us to resolve intra-Boomer skirmishes and to bridge that volatile Boomer-GenXer divide. We can lead.”

Many Generation Jonesers have never felt like they had a generational home and are thrilled to learn they actually do have one. Check out how Upworthy readers responded with glee upon discovering they were a part of Gen Jones:

"Thank you! As a definite Gen Jones, I completely relate to this. To young to be a hippy, therefore was never a yuppy, but too old to be Gen X. Gen Jones works just fine."

"I have said for decades that I must be a transitional person into Gen X, because I don’t relate to boomers! I appreciate them, but I am not one of them. I am glad someone finally named my generation!"

"There are definite differences between people born in the 1940s/1950s and those of us born in the early 1960s. Most of us born in the early 1960s do not remember the JFK assassination and we were much too young to participate in Woodstock. The older Boomers were already established in their careers and as homeowners with families in the 1980s when we were in our 20s just starting out and ready to buy our first home. While the older Boomers experienced reasonable mortgage interest rates, the early 1960s Boomers faced mortgage interest rates averaging 14 percent in the 1980s which made it more difficult for us to buy our first home. We definitely need an additional group between Boomers and Gen X, and Generation Jones fits the bill."

"I was born 6 days before 1960…. I’ve felt out of touch with a lot of the boomer life descriptions, and not Gen X enough to fit in there. I’ll take Generation Jones."

"1957 here, with older siblings born before 1950. I definitely did not have the same experience growing up that they had. I feel I can identify a little with Boomers and a little with the Gen X experience, so there’s some overlap. (BTW, Gen X needs to stop claiming that they’re the first to have experienced all the things we grew up with. Kids, you didn’t invent drinking out of the garden hose or playing outside until the streetlights came on. Sheesh!) Glad to be a Joneser."

"Of course there is a difference between people raised in the 1950’s and people raised and coming of age in the 1960’s and 1970’s. Society changed a lot in those three decades."

"This is my generation but I never knew we had a name! The description fits perfectly."

Congrats on finding your people, Gen Jones. It's your time to shine.

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Teacher admits there are 11 things that Boomer parents totally got right

Did they teach their kids respect?

via TeresaKayeNewman/TikTok and Maria Lysenko/Unsplash

Teresa Kaye Newman thinks that Boomer parents were right about a few things.

Teresa Kaye Newman, a teacher about to have a son, knows a lot about how to deal with children. So she created a list of 11 things she agrees with Boomers on when it comes to raising kids.

Newman believes she has credibility on the issue because she has 13 years of experience dealing with “hundreds and hundreds” of other people’s kids and has seen what happens when her so-called “Boomer” parenting principles aren’t implemented.

Of course, Newman is using some broad stereotypes in calling for a return to Boomer parenting ideas when many Gen X, Millennial and Gen Z parents share the same values. But, as someone who deals with children every day, she has the right to point out that today’s kids are entitled and spend too much time staring at screens.

Here are the 11 things that Newman agrees with Boomers on when it comes to raising kids.

11 Things I agree with boomer parents on raising children

@teresakayenewman

11 Things I agree with boomer parents on raising children, as a #teacher and soon to be mom.

1. No iPads

“All I’m going to say is my kid has a whole world to explore and none of that has to do with being stuck in front of a tablet.”

2. No smartphone until high school

“Kids that are younger than that age do not know internet safety to a point where I feel comfortable letting them have free reign of the internet.”

3. Teaching the value of education

“What I’m going to teach them is [education] has nothing to do with how much money you’re making or how successful you’ll be professionally. But you will still value it, nonetheless. You will go with it as far as you possibly can, and then once you’re done with it, you can do whatever you want.”

4. Respect your teachers and treat them well

“This may be biased because I am a teacher, but everyone who has gone through a professional degree program and has put in the time and is there, giving you the quality education, deserves some type of attention and deserves to be treated well.”

5. Be kind to elderly folks

“If they’re on public transportation and they’re sitting down and there’s an old lady standing next to them and there are no other seats available, my child will know to stand up and give that lady his seat.”


6. Yes ma’am

Newman will teach her kid to use the terms sir and ma’am when speaking to adults. “It does not matter your age or status in society, as long as they are respecting their pronouns, that’s how we’re gonna be talking to other people.”

7. Greetings and gratitude

“Simple greetings and simple terms of gratitude are just not being taught like they used to. I think it’s really sad.”

8. Consequences for poor behavior

“If they’re neglecting their schoolwork and not doing what they’re supposed to do, they get their technology taken away. … Simple things like this are pretty common sense and I’m not sure why they’re not being done anymore.”

9. Respect adult conversations and spaces

“They don’t get to interrupt 2 adults speaking to each other. They don’t get to come and butt in at an inappropriate time when 2 people are talking to each other."

10. Clean your mess

“My child is going to put as much work in the house as we are regardless of whether he’s paying rent out of his own pocket or not. That’s because when my son becomes an adult, I want him to be a partner or a spouse or a roommate that someone is proud to have around.”

11. Bedtime

“I don’t care how old my kid is as long as he is living under my roof as a minor; he’s gonna have some sort of bedtime. But this staying up until 3 or 4 or 5 o’clock in the morning or pulling all-nighters like kids are used to … is absolutely not normal. And I’m not going to have a kid that’s staying up that late and then not waking up the next day.”


This article originally appeared on 12.20.23

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