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Boomers often forget what it's like having young kids. Millennials call it 'gramnesia.'

"You never had tantrums when you were little!"

@millennialmomtherapist/Instagram, Photo credit: Canva

Millennials, are you victims of "gramnesia"?

If there's one thing we're really good at in 2025, it's giving specific phenomena a catchy, viral name. It’s funny how once a sort of abstract experience gets a name attached to it, it suddenly becomes much easier to understand and relate to. The Internet—and primarily TikTok—has been great for that. Sure, things get out of hand quite easily (like the overuse of “therapy speak”), but there has also been quite a lot of validation and meaningful conversations that have spawned from these overnight buzzwords.

Case and point: “Gramnesia.”

“Gramnesia,” which combines the words “grandparent” and “amnesia,” has been popping up on Reddit discussions for a while now, though the coiner of the term seems unknown. But only recently has it been really gaining traction.

Back in June of 2024, Maryland-based therapist and mom Allie McQuaid, really brought “gramnesia” to the forefront of the conversation when she made an Instagram video all about it.

“I just heard this term called ‘gramnesia’ when grandparents forget what it’s really like having young kids and I can’t stop thinking about how accurate it is,” she said in the clip.

In her caption, McQuaid shared how so many of her clients would get “slammed” by their parents about how different (i.e. “easier”) raising kids was for them whenever they brought their own children around.

These hyperbolic memories are, as McQuaid put it, so “ridiculous” that they've clearly “forgot[ten] what it was really like in those early years of parenthood.”

Some examples of “gramnesia” statements could be:

“You never had tantrums when you were a kid”

“I potty trained you before you were one”

“You were always happy to eat whatever we fed you.”

“You were spanked and turned out fine!”

Clearly, McQuaid’s video struck a chord, because it wasn’t long before people begin chiming in with their own stories of gramnesia:

“My MIL, over the years, loved to act like her children were perfect growing up. I love to tell the stories of her son (my hubby) getting into all kinds of trouble as a kid - oh the shock.”

“*Baby makes any kind of noise* Grandma: "Oh they must be teething!" Me : "Umm she's 4 months old, She isn't teething yet - just has feelings and is you know - A BABY" grandma: ‘well my kids had all their teeth by 4 months’ 😐🤨”

“5 months old and not sleeping through the night? Did you try rice cereal? Baby not walking ? Rice cereal. Baby not in college yet? Have you tried rice cereal?”

“Ugh my dad literally just said this to me last week… ‘I don’t remember you guys having this many tantrums’… 🙄 right after my boys were upset.”


parenting, conflict, kids, parents, gramnesia These moments may be harder to remember. Image via Canva

McQuaid posited some theories as to why gramnesia exists in the first place.

One is that it could simply be the natural tendency to have a cognitive bias which puts past experiences in a more positive light than they actually were, aka having “euphoric recall.” As she told Huffpost, we tend to have a “foggier memory of how things truly were” as we get older, “especially if the experience we had was particularly difficult or even traumatic.”

Plus, the first few years of parenthood are often such a blur anyway. McQuaid herself admitted that ”I even have a hard time remembering the first year of motherhood, and that was only four years ago.”

In addition, McQuaid theorized that gramnesia exists because previous generations “were not given space to express emotions or indicate that they were struggling to adjust to motherhood.” Honestly, a sound hypothesis.

And for the frustrated folks itching to confront their boomer parents about this, McQuaid suggests picking your battles.

“Check your capacity if you have the space or energy to even consider bringing up your frustration with your parents,” she told Huffpost. “You are likely in the throes of parenting right now, and maybe all you can do is smile and nod after hearing for the 100th time how ‘you were never like this.’”

However, if you are determined to bring it up and set the record straight, McQuaid suggests to actually keep it centered around you and how the situation makes you feel, rather than combating their memories. So, instead of saying, “That’s NOT how it happened!” try something like, “When you said that I never did X when I was Y’s age, it makes me question how well I’m doing as a parent.” Probably easier said than done, to be sure.

And while this sore spot might never come to a full resolution for a lot of millennial parents, at least take some solace in knowing that you’re not crazy, nor are you alone.

parenting, parenting life, parents, babies, having children You'll probably forget the stress of these days too. Image via Canva.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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People are losing it at this millennial teaching her boomer mom about 'gentle parenting'

Hilarity ensues.

@thedailytay/TikTok

“I don’t even know my plan! Do you know your plan?!”

There are a lot of modern ideas that make sense to those of us who have come of age with them, but it's a really interesting exercise to try to view those same ideas from the perspective of the older generations. It can make things seem pretty absurd. For example:

Gentle parenting has been the anxious millennial antidote to the trauma caused by their boomer parent’s not-so-gentle approach to raising kids. This new wave of parents have become determined to not let history repeat itself, to usher in a kinder, more emotionally secure, more confident generation of humans.

And while that intention is certainly admirable, perhaps we millennials, with all our self-deprecating humor, can also laugh at ourselves a bit with just how gentle we strive to be.

gentle parenting, parenting, parenting advice, Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, parenting hacks A grown woman and her motherImage via Canva

A fun, tongue-in-cheek and instantly viral video created by 37-year-old mom of two Taylor Wolfe can help with that.

The clip, which racked up 5.8 million views in less than 24 hours, shows Taylor trying to teach her boomer mother Sandy Wolfe all the ins-and-outs of gentle parenting so that she may use these more compassionate tactics on her grandkids.

@thedailytay

GENTLE HANDS. 🙃🫶🏻🤭❤️ #fyp #millennialsoftiktok #momsoftiktok #gentleparenting #parentsoftiktok #foryoupag #comedyvideo


Let’s just say, many found her failed attempt completely relatable, not to mention hilarious.

Sandy’s well intentioned “Be careful!” to her granddaughter gets met with Taylor saying, “We don’t say ‘Be careful!’ anymore. Instead say, ‘What’s your plan here?’”

“I don’t even know my plan! Do you know your plan?!” Sandy retorts.

Cut to: Sandy says “Stop. Don’t hit your sister.” Suddenly Taylor pops up from behind a corner to instruct: “Don’t say, ‘Stop,’ say, ‘Gentle.’”

“‘Gentle’…what?” asks a confused Sandy.

“‘Gentle hands,’” quips Taylor, adding. “‘Gentle’ everything.”

gentle parenting, parenting advice, parenting, parenting hacks, Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, mothers, daughters An adult woman and her older motherImage via Canva

Sandy can’t even catch a break when she says “I’m so proud of you.” because, as Taylor explains, “you’re not supposed to tell kids you’re proud of them anymore. That’s putting the focus on you.”

Then a classic comedy of errors ensues as Taylor advises Sandy to say “you should be so proud” and Sandy replies “I AM so proud!”

Viewers could help but laugh at their own perhaps overzealous attempts to bring gentle parenting into their life.

“I tried to gentle parent this morning but it turned into ‘OMG GET YOUR FORKING SHOES ON,”” one person wrote, while another added, “I always started with the Mary Poppins approach but sometimes you need to elevate to Judge Judy.”

Others felt like this perfectly depicted how gentle parenting sometimes misses the mark.

“I’m feeling anxious after observing gentle parenting,” one person wrote.

Another simply said, “I stand with grandma.”

This isn’t the first time Taylor and Sandy have given us a good chuckle comparing their different parenting styles. Here’s another funny video from August of 2023 where Taylor is flabbergasted to hear how her mother managed without Google:

Listen, gentle parenting is great for providing parents more mindful, less reactive responses to their kids, which can do wonders for everybody. But there’s also something to be said for not getting so wound up in the minutia of every parent-child interaction, thinking anything and everything could be threatening to a child’s development. As with anything, balance—and a sense of humor—is always key.

Follow along on more of Taylor’s fun and relatable content on TikTok.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Television

In 1975, ZOOM kids describe the 'perfect teacher' and their ideas are way ahead of their time

"The original ZOOM meetings" were full of very articulate kids.

Photo Credit: YouTube, GHB, PBS

ZOOM kids perform the opening dance number.

For a lot of us Gen X-ers, ZOOM was a daily appointment. Not the Zoom we all know and love/hate now, but rather the PBS kids' show that originally ran from 1972 to 1978. (It resurfaced for a handful of years in 1999.)

It started on a small station in the Boston area, WGBH-TV, with the idea of having an educational show with just kids on screen. The cast often rotated, and through songs, dance numbers, poems, and just plain conversations, they discussed everything from teachers to computers to health to racism.

Just in time for back-to-school, WGBH is sharing a ZOOM clip from 1975 wherein the ZOOMers discuss their thoughts on education. Many of them, thick with New England accents, discuss heady topics with beautiful maturity.

One young girl, Tracey, admits, "I don't think schools are good period. I'd like to invent a machine that's like a teacher. Like a computer that teaches you yourself. That's geared for your brain. Because no man or person knows what your brain or mind is really like." Norman interjects, "They do, after a while though. All your records…"

Tracey continues, "No, but I mean they're never gonna find out how you really are."

Andrae adds, "I was seeing on the news one day that kids were using calculators. And their parents were fussing about it because when they use calculators, they have the answers. And they don't know 'why' and 'how.' All they do is just press and do this. And you know, you really shouldn't use calculators like that because it doesn’t help the child think."

kids, ZOOM, calculator, learning, education A child uses a calculator. Giphy GIF by Banco Itaú

Red admits, "My teacher when I was in second grade—she was so nice I didn't LEARN anything. And I'd come home and I'd get this low mark and my mother would be proud of me because that's about the best I could do. And you know? So I got into about third grade, and I had this really good teacher, ya know? She was nice, but she was strict. And she pushed me and I started getting As and Bs and I was really doing good."

Cate reacts, "It's easy for me to learn without being strict. Like my teacher's really nice. And like if the kids start messing up, she doesn't, ya know, yell at you. You know, she just tries to get you calmed down."

Lastly, Tommy says, "The best school, if I was going to school, would be like big giant doors and there would be these two men who'd let you in. And they'd like give you a card that says 'you're supposed to be here today.' And you'd say yeah. And they wouldn't have any computers or anything like that. And the teacher would be mean when he had to be mean and he'd react to anything like regular and normal ways. So it would be just right."

The 1974-1975 cast of ZOOM! www.youtube.com, Aaron Limbaugh

The comments contain seemingly lots of ZOOM fans, with quite a few impressed by how insightful these children were. "That's incredible how she predicted how computers could alter education and how the other kid could predict how invasive AI could become."

Quite a few of the comments point out how articulate these young kids are. One writes, "Jeez, these kids are brilliant. I don’t think I could even get close to their level of insights on education and teaching styles at that age."

But many pushed back on the notion that "kids today" aren't as well-spoken. This commenter somewhat flips the idea that kids were smarter back then on its head: "These were kids chosen because of how articulate and thoughtful they were. They had to conduct interviews, host segments. This isn't representative of how kids were in the 70s. Having grown up in the 70s and 80s, I remember very well how kids were back then. They could be just as thoughtless and cruel as these kids are kind and thoughtful. There are kids just as thoughtful, just as articulate today. You can't blame everything on social media."

ZOOM, PBS, kids, learning, television ZOOM PBS show intro! Giphy GIF by GBH

One teacher's comment was hopeful for the kids today: "Going to just chime in as a teacher of kids this age in a lower-income town. I could definitely find a group of modern kids able to have a conversation like this. I know the brain rot is real but there are still families out there having conversations with their kids, and modern kids are still creative and kind."

And sweetly noting the accent, this comment states it perfectly: "ZOOM bringing Massachusetts accents to the world one kid at a time."

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Gen X-ers reveal the advice they'd give their past selves. Younger generations, listen up.

"There was no reason to carry my struggles alone."

Photo Credit: Canva

A time machine sits in between two people who have visited their younger selves.

The 80s and 90s were a truly magical time, but it wasn't all flowers and unicorns. Kids from that era faced their share of struggles, and came out the other end better for it. We often hear that with experience comes wisdom, but once we garner that wisdom, oftentimes it's too late to actually implement it into our lives. If only we had a time machine, so many of us think. If only…

For example, as a proud Gen X-er, I'd take that time machine and pop right on back to 1995, wherein I was convinced to wax my eyebrows so thin they looked like pencil marks. I did it so many times, they never grew back.

thin eyebrows, waxing, time machine, gen x, beauty trend A girl with thin eyebrows. Giphy

But on a deeper level, (though the eyebrow situation was quite deep,) I'd love the chance to go back and tell the late teen to late 20s version of me: go easier on everything. Heartbreak, body image, rejection, success status. I took every break-up, every failed audition, every time I stepped on a scale so hard that it was like an anvil of self-shame dropping on my head daily. What I wouldn't give to be able to wrap my arms around myself and say, "Good job." Or, regarding heartbreak, "If this were a screenplay, this guy wouldn't even make it into the rewrites."

If we live a relatively full life, on average, we've got just over two billion seconds. Sounds like a lot, but when you put it in perspective, it's a blip. The Earth itself is estimated to be over four billion years old, and we are just a tiny flash in its ever-changing pan. I'd love to go back and tell myself to make those flashes count—each and every one of them.

What if, in examining the ideas of what we and others would tell the younger versions of ourselves, we could use it to somewhat heal our mistakes, even if only metaphorically? On the subreddit r/whatif, a person asks, "What if, Gen X-ers you could go back and talk to your younger self from the ’80s or ’90s?" They add, "What would you say about how life turned out? Are you where you thought you’d be, or did life take a different path than you imagined?"

Some people get into the logistics of it—how if you alter one thing, the rest will unravel. "I would not change a thing because I like the person I am today. Once you start unwinding the tapestry of your life and try to change things, it will change the person you are today."

butterfly, butterfly effect, time machine, gen x A psychedelic butterfly flaps its wings. Giphy GIF by Trippyogi

Some of the answers are downright practical. "$100 investment in Apple back then would be about $3 mil today. So I’d certainly not spend so much of my birthday money on Nintendo."

This Redditor combined a heartfelt answer with a pragmatic one: "I'd love to talk to my family members! Everyone who isn't around anymore. It would be amazing to spend a day with each of them again. That said, maybe I do talk to myself, and maybe I make myself repeat the following sentence over and over until I never forget it: 'As soon as you hear about Bitcoin, start mining it.'"

Just a couple of weeks ago, another thread popped up and opened the question up to all generations beyond Gen X. They posed a similar query: "Knowing what you know now - if you could go back in time, what would you tell your young adult self?"

Many responses are absolutely poignant. Despite the fact that we don't have time machines—unless there's a DeLorean idling somewhere near Christopher Lloyd—we can still use this advice going forward: "You don’t have to be perfect to be loved or respected. Show up, try your best, and don’t shrink yourself for people who wouldn’t do the same for you."

Christopher Lloyd, Back to the Future, time machine, DeLorean, hindsight Christopher Lloyd means business in a scene from Back to The Future. Giphy Back to the future flux capacitor GIF, Universal Pictures

Commenters did not hold back. "I'd grab my younger self by the shoulders and say, 'Relax. Like really, chill out.' I'd tell them, Hey, it's okay not to have it all figured out. No one does. Not even the people who look like they do."

This person was very direct and many, including myself, could relate: "I’d tell myself to not ignore the red flags that were everywhere I looked. Focus on money and not that s----y relationship you thought you wanted."

And this comment truly allowed for vulnerability: "Great question. I think I would tell my younger adult self to seek professional help sooner and not be so afraid to open up to trusted people. There was no reason to carry my struggles alone. That self-imposed isolation was my biggest mistake. It was painful, alienating, and it held me back for more than a decade."

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