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Expert explains how to enjoy socializing even when your 'social battery' is empty

Even extroverts' social stamina gets worn down eventually.

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A woman lying on a table at a party hat.

One of the big ways in which people differ—but we don’t talk about very much—is their social stamina. Some people love being around others morning, noon, and night. While others show up to a party at seven p.m. and quietly slip out the front door at nine. Although it’s not an official medical term, therapists like to call this the “social battery,” and we can all benefit from learning how often ours need to recharge to avoid running on empty.

What is a social battery?

Introverts and extroverts have very different social batteries. Extroverts have full batteries that take a long time to wind down. Introverts have smaller batteries that lose their charge quickly, so they have to be careful about how they plan their social interactions and who they spend their time with.

One isn’t better than the other, but it’s essential to learn where we stand on the social stamina spectrum so that we can get the most out of our social engagements. It’s important to connect with people, but if you have limited resources to devote to social situations, you must be intentional with how you spend your time.

This is what happens when a husband and wife are at a wedding and they both have very different battery lives.

@justice_777

She usually the one ready to go. #weddingtiktok #weddingday #bridetok #fatherofthebride #dadsoftiktok #dadjokes #weddingvibes #socialbutterfly #introvert #extrovert

What are some signs your social battery is running low?

  • You feel weary
  • You’re less interested in talking to people than you were before
  • You’d like to be in a quiet, familiar place
  • You’re ready to retreat into your inner world of books or creativity
  • You’re overwhelmed by crowds or excess noise

Here’s what it looks like when someone with a low social battery throws a party.

@jordan_the_stallion8

#fyp @Aimy Avila

How to socialize without draining your battery

Mental health advocate Kyrus Keenan Westcott says that with a little planning in advance, people with low social batteries can get the most out of social functions.

1. Prioritize Meaningful Interactions: Spend time with those who uplift you, minimize time with those who are draining.

2. Create a Comfortable Space: If you’re hosting an event, create a place for you to relax and recharge during the event so that you can return to it with more battery life.

3. Set Clear Boundaries: If you need to leave at a set time or are feeling drained, don’t let anyone force you to stay.

4. Balance Social and Alone Time: Make sure to schedule enough time for yourself to recharge in between social events.

Ultimately, taking a good look at how your social battery functions can be a big help when planning your weekend or how you interact with coworkers. You’ll want to make sure that you spend the right amount of time on meaningful interactions, so you don’t waste your time on people and activities that aren’t fulfilling. It’s also great to understand your battery so that when it does feel low, you don’t feel bad that you’re being antisocial. You’ve just given all you can to the people who truly matter in your life.

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7 toxic evening habits that silently keep you stuck in life (and how to fix them)

Your evening routine might be the reason you’re not living your best life. Let’s fix that.

Photo credit: Canva

Woman scrolling mindlessly on her phone.

It’s the end of another exhausting day. You promise yourself that tonight will be different. Tonight, you’ll read that book collecting dust under your bed, text your friend back, or maybe even do some evening meditation to center yourself. But somehow, three hours later, you’re in bed watching TikToks about which Girls character you are, and it hits you: this feels bad. Like, really bad.

(Don’t worry, you’re in excellent company—we’ve all been there.)


scrolling, phone, addiction, evening, habits Creating healthy evening habits matters. Photo credit: Canva

Here’s the thing about evening habits: in the moment, they feel innocent and harmless, but they’re basically the psychological equivalent of termites eating away at the foundation of your life. Behavioral researchers discovered that the hours between dinner and sleep represent something called a “vulnerability window,” a time when your willpower is shot and your brain is desperately seeking comfort. Ah, the perfect conditions for self-sabotage.

Your evening routine (or lack of one) might be the reason you’re not living your best life. We’re here to fix that. Here are seven “harmless” habits that are actually holding you back—and what to do about them.


The doom-scrolling spiral

“Oh, I’ll just check Instagram for just five minutes.”

Let me know the next time that works.

To your brain, scrolling endlessly is like being in a Vegas casino with a black card—and you’ll stop at nothing to get that dopamine jackpot. With every piece of new information, your brain receives a slight boost of dopamine, creating what researchers call an “intermittent reinforcement schedule”—the exact psychological mechanism that makes gambling addictive and dangerous.


via GIPHY


Scrolling through social media for hours can activate your threat-detection system, flooding your body with stress hormones like cortisol just when you should be winding down. Studies show regular doom-scrollers report higher levels of anxiety and trouble sleeping, creating a vicious cycle where poor sleep makes you more susceptible to negative thinking… which, of course, drives you to scroll even more.

Let’s fix this: Create a “phone parking station” outside your bedroom. Seriously. Charge it somewhere else, and place it there 90 minutes before bed. Then, replace the habit with something that genuinely interests you, like reading a book or doing gentle stretches. Oh, and before you reach for the iPad: this goes for all devices.


Bedtime procrastination

Your eyelids are drooping, but instead of pulling the covers up and going to sleep, you’re up until 2 AM doing absolutely nothing important. Welcome to “revenge bedtime procrastination,” your brain’s rebellion against a day that felt completely out of your control.


woman, sleeping, bedtime, rest, energy A woman sleeping peacefully.Photo credit: Canva

What’s going on here? Your psyche is essentially saying “I didn’t get enough personal time today, so I’ll just steal it now, at the cost of tonight’s sleep.” This phenomenon is particularly common among people with demanding schedules or those who feel they lack autonomy during the day.

However, chronic bedtime procrastination creates a cascading series of issues. Poor sleep leads to decreased cognitive performance, emotional instability, and reduced willpower, which can trap you in a "procrastination insomnia cycle", where each night of delayed sleep makes the day more stressful and the next bedtime more tempting to put off.

Let’s fix this: Create a “bedtime procrastination emergency plan.” It’s a big red button to press when you feel the self-sabotage setting in, but don’t know what to do. When you catch yourself avoiding bed, do a wind-down activity of your choice—no questions asked—like a 10-minute meditation or journaling about three things you’re grateful for.

Evening rumination

The moment your head hits the pillow, your brain decides it’s show time: replaying the day’s mistakes, imagining worst-case scenarios, and generally turning your mind into your own personal anxiety theater.


- YouTube www.youtube.com

Your brain is trying to process unresolved emotional content. Still, instead of the helpful type of processing, you’ve gotten stuck in an unproductive loop that elevates your cortisol levels when they should be at their lowest.

Let’s fix that: Your running thoughts aren’t useless; it’s your brain’s way of trying to protect you. But there’s a time and place for everything, and right now is neither. Try the “worry time” technique, which is exactly what it sounds like. Dedicate 15 minutes of the day to worrying, ruminating, plotting, and scheming. Or, keep a “brain dump” journal near your bed to offload racing thoughts without judgment.


Stress eating your feelings

You’re not even hungry, but somehow, you’re standing in the kitchen at 10 PM with a spoon in one hand and a jar of Nutella in the other, wondering how you got there.

Evening emotional eating serves multiple functions: immediate comfort, a twisted sense of reward after a difficult day, or self-soothing when your willpower has been depleted. However, using food as a primary emotional regulation strategy is just a chocolate-smeared Band-Aid, covering up the real problems and preventing you from developing healthier coping mechanisms.


via GIPHY

Let’s fix that: Work on identifying your triggers. Why are you binge-eating late at night? Are you lonely, bored, stressed, or something else? Finding the real issue is the first step towards addressing it more healthily. Or, create a “kitchen closed” policy after 8 PM. Stick to it religiously.


24/7 work tether

Checking work emails right before bed because it will “just take a second” is like inviting your most stressful colleague to sleep over: no separation between work and private life, and it should be a workplace violation.

Research shows that employees who regularly check work communications after hours experience higher rates of burnout, and the constant mental availability prevents psychological recovery. This can lead to decreased creativity, impaired decision-making, and emotional exhaustion.


burnout, emails, work, evening, routines A woman sitting in front of her laptop. Photo by Olena Kamenetska on Unsplash

Let’s fix this: Set explicit communication curfews and stick to them. If you have to email someone after hours, use the “schedule send” function so that the email arrives during the business day. Remember: your well-being is worth more than always being available.


Perfectionism paralysis

Do you spend evening hours crafting elaborate to-do lists and researching productivity systems instead of doing things you actually want to do? Well, you are likely using the illusion of productivity to avoid the discomfort of imperfect action.

Perfectionist planning provides psychological satisfaction in “working on” goals without the risk of messy execution. But it creates an endless cycle where you’re never quite ready to begin.

Let’s fix this: Try the “2-minute rule.” If something takes less than two minutes, do it now, instead of adding it to a list.


Distraction addiction

Every quiet moment needs to be filled with background TV, music, or scrolling through your phone because the silence feels uncomfortable or anxiety-provoking. But constant simulation has the opposite effect: it prevents emotional processing and keeps you disconnected from your actual desires.


woman, phone, worried, evening, routines Constant stimulation could be stressing you out. Photo credit: Canva

Without regular stillness, unresolved feelings can accumulate in the mind and the body, leading to chronic anxiety or emotional numbness.

Let’s fix that: Start small. Try practicing “micro-stillness,” 30 seconds of silence between activities. This can look like taking three conscious breaths while moving between tasks.


The beautiful truth about small changes

Behavioral science shows that even the smallest of changes in our evening routines can create dynamic improvements in our overall life satisfaction. You don’t need to change everything all at once, simply pick one habit from above that resonates the most with your current struggles and commit to working on it for two weeks.


woman, evening, routines, habits, happy A woman enjoying her evenings again.Photo credit: Canva

As your evening energy gradually improves, you will naturally find it easier to address other patterns. Because your evenings aren’t just the end of the day—they’re the foundation for tomorrow.

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​Woman living in her car for over 600 days has zero regrets. Here's how she does it.

#vanlife can also work with a car.

Screenshots shared with permission of Taylor Bowen-Loven

Woman living in her car for 600 days has zero regrets. Here's how she does it.

With housing becoming so unaffordable, people are turning to different options. It's likely no coincidence that with the increase in housing prices, there's been increased interest in van life. Some of these vans are outfitted with beds, toilets, and sinks, while others are regular minivans with the seats removed. Some van lifers take things to the next level by outfitting an old school bus to become a tiny mobile home essentially.

Typically, individuals who choose to live on the road are childless and invest a significant amount of money to get started. But what if you're low on funds and don't own a van? No worries; Taylor Bowen-Loven has figured out how to live in her car for over 600 days comfortably, and she wants to share her knowledge with other single women who want to live rent-free while traveling the country.

van life; nomad life; living in car; houseless by choice; car life; car living Woman enjoying the view from a camper's window.Photo credit: Canva

Car living isn't for everyone, and it's certainly not for those who enjoy the kind of luxuries only a permanent address can give. Others, however, could be comfortable living in a shoe if it meant not having to pay a couple of thousand in rent every month. If that's you, then you might want to learn how it's done. Bowen-Loven has become sort of a pro at the unique lifestyle after nearly two years of car living.

When the 34-year-old first moved into her car, it was partly out of necessity and partly out of choice. She explains in one of her older videos that after being offered a place to sublet from a friend in Texas, the situation quickly turned sour, which required her to think on her feet. Not ready to return to her family in North Carolina and not willing to risk her mental health in an uncomfortable living situation, she sought advice on turning her car into a livable space while she traveled the country.

@taylorbowensloven Back to full time car living! This lifestyle isn’t bad at all once you get the hang of it! #carcampingn #carliving #livinginmycar #granolagirl #ontheroad #carlifestyle ♬ Walking Around - Instrumental Version - Eldar Kedem

Along the way, she saved a decent amount of money by not having to pay rent and utilities and was able to visit states she wouldn't have been able to afford to see otherwise. The woman documents her journey on her social media page, sharing exactly what she found to be a waste of money and what works best. One of the first things on the list is safety. Since she sleeps in public places, she uses specialized shades to black out her windows so no one can see inside her space. She also has multiple forms of self-protection stashed in different areas of her car, all within arm's reach no matter her location within the vehicle.

As a solo traveling woman, she prefers to park in public places like truck stops, 24-hour gas stations, and big retail stores with all-night security patrols. She also tries to find longer-term parking spots by making arrangements with business owners, but car life isn't always easy. The woman documents how she lost one of her long-term spaces after the business owner changed his mind about allowing her to park in his lot.

@taylorbowensloven A fellow nomad showed me how to make these! They are a lot better than the flimsy relflectix ones I made. I couldnt get the old ones in without taping them while standing outside which is a giveaway I sleep in my car. These I am able to put up while in my car and they are a lot better no tape required. #nomad #carlife #livinginmycar #solofemaletraveler #vanlife ♬ Calm background music with acoustic guitar and saxophone(1288148) - ame

Bowen-Loven also doesn't have a job that requires her to be stationary, which allows her nomadic lifestyle. Instead of clocking in for a nine-to-five where she has to live in one location, she DoorDash in whatever city she's currently in. If you're curious about her showering, hair styling, or personal hygiene routines, the nomad has a gym membership that grants her access to facilities in any state.

Bowen-Loven also utilizes the Rover app to pet sit. It not only provides her with another source of income but also offers an air-conditioned place to stay during the hotter months, accommodating pet owners on vacation for a week or two at a time. It's the perfect gig for someone living the van life who wants a short break from sleeping in their vehicle. Instead of staying in her home state of North Carolina, Bowen-Loven follows the sun to avoid dealing with the colder fall and winter months.

@taylorbowensloven My first morning as a nomad in the desert! I now see what all the hype is about. It is absolutely stunning out here and I love the radiant sunshine ☀️. #nomad #livinginmycar #carlife #carcamper #desert ♬ In The Forest (Acoustic Indie No Copyright) - Instrumental - Lesfm & Olexy

If you think you need a large SUV or to spend upwards of $30k a year on a place to live, you don't. Bowen-Loven makes it work with her Prius, and before her short stint at trying apartment living again, the car fit her and her service dog Sugar, who passed away last year. The nomadic woman believes so much in living the kind of life you want that she wrote an ebook called Nomad Unlocked: A Solo Female's Guide to Living on the Road.

When one woman explained that car life wouldn't work for her family of seven, Bowen-Loven didn't hesitate to ease the concern, writing, "Nope, not in a car, but have seen large families do bus life and RV life!"

@taylorbowensloven Replying to @Ladyplague Such a great question and I will definitely add this to my E-book I’m working on that tells everything beginners need to know on how to become a nomad and live the nomad lifestyle! Comment “nomad” if you’d like me to direct message you when I launch my e-book an receive a discount code! #nomad #nomadlifestyle #livinginmycar #carliving #cardwelling #carcamper ♬ Storytelling - Adriel

In another comment, someone responds to her video, asking if renters are okay by saying, "No, I am NOT okay. Especially living in a beach town in Southern California. I am seriously considering buying an RV." To which Bowen-Loven responds, "Girllll I don’t even wanna ask how much the rent is 😭. I want to buy an RV tooo!!! There’s apps I talk about in my ebook that are great too for finding good parking areas for RVs. But yes rv life and nomad life are soooo much better in my opinion!!"

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Man has recorded his mood every 15 minutes for 7 years. Here's what he learned about happiness.

"The search for that formula is what keeps me going."

Kevin Sandler

Kevin Sandler discusses his mood tracking.

Kevin Sandler woke up one day in 2018, a senior in high school, and decided to do something unusual. A self-described "data nerd," he wanted to find a way to make a quantitative roadmap to understanding what, exactly, made him happy. So, he began charting his moods every fifteen minutes and has done so for the past seven years.

He's not the first to track moods. The popular logging journal app, A Year in Pixels, helps people assess their emotions using color grids that people can individually design. One can then see their moods change with charts based on weeks, months, and years allowing them to visualize how their overall well-being tracks through time.

In fact, Sandler was inspired by this app, but wanted more. He didn't just want the "what" or "when" of it all. He wanted the "why." In an exclusive chat with Upworthy, he jokes, "I thought, how can I make this even MORE intense?"

His goal? "I just wanted to visualize my life, in terms of happiness. I wanted to see my happiness charted in a graph. From there, it took on a life of its own."

At first, he started tracking his mood three times per day, but thought, "My mood changes too much." He then did it hourly, finally landing on 15-minute intervals of waking hours. (We did confirm that he doesn't wake himself up in the night to measure his moods.)

In her opinion piece "Are We Happy Yet?" for The New York Times, author Jessica Grose spoke to Sandler, who admitted that "when you're in the moment, you don't have a full perception of how you actually feel." This is why, she explains, he "tracks his location using Google Maps and then the following day creates a kind of emotional map." This gives him a bit of perspective, which ultimately provides stronger pattern recognition.

Kevin sandler, mood tracking, happiness chart, data, information A chart by Kevin Sandler tracking his moods through a year.Kevin sandler

Sandler also discovered that "happiness" wasn't exactly the end goal. Instead, it's being content or "satisfied with your life overall." Another distinction Sandler makes very clear is that what he's searching for is a formula for his happiness, fully acknowledging that it's different for everyone. He also notes that he's specifically looking for actionable data—things he can actually do to put his findings into positive action. "There's a lot of information out there on what makes you happy. So like, sunlight or close connections. But what action can I take today? And what is the measurable impact? The search for that formula is what keeps me going."



@sndcastle

Tracking my happiness in fifteen minute intervals - Scotland Day 3

He recognizes that there are a lot of theories, philosophies, and studies committed to what makes people happy. "Is being around other people still the biggest influence? Absolutely. Nothing new that the secret to happiness is connection. But now that we have that knowledge, how can we get practical? How many hours should you spend around other people? What quality of people do I need to be around?"

When asked what seems to work for his personal happiness, besides the aforementioned sunlight and human connection, he shares that the quality of the people you spend your day around is a huge factor. But also, "how motivated you feel about what you're working on that day."

He also mentions the importance of personal values. "I value distinctiveness and novelty. So, I like to make each day have its own distinctiveness from the last. I want to figure out that formula for myself, that can inspire other people to find their own formula."

Kevin Sandler, happiness, mood tracking, data, study Kevin Sandler sits outside as he tracks his mood.Kevin Sandler

Another discovery is the unique magnificence of being able to look at how far he's come. "I started when I was 17. It's crazy how different your emotional variability changes from a teenager into adulthood. And the fact that I got to track my happiness through that transition is remarkable. Because the highs and lows that I used to go through. I have quantitative data to show how different it is!"

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