Any dad who has young kids knows you can't take them anywhere without being complimented by strangers. It could be the park, the grocery store, or a foreign country. Anywhere you go, you're bound to hear it: "What a great dad, look at you! These kids are so lucky."
Don't get me wrong, the compliments feel amazing! It's only later that you stop and think how weird it is to get praised for doing the absolute bare minimum. Just being physically present and near your children is enough to be called a great dad, apparently. Dads are taking to social media to talk about this strange phenomenon. In a viral social media thread, guys are sharing simple, mundane moments with their kids when strangers pulled them aside to tell them how amazing they were doing.
1. Playing dress up
Wearing a funny hat, a wig, or letting your daughters paint your nails is about one of the easiest, silliest things you could possibly do. Yet it's often found worthy of praise!
"Yesterday we had my daughter's birthday at an indoor playground. She got a very nice tiara from her grandma that she wore to the party and looked like a princess. We went into the play area and she took it off and handed it to me so she wouldn't break it. I just put it on my head because, where else does a tiara go. Completely forgot about it. 15 minutes later some mom and grandma come sit next to us and instantly look at me. The grandma asks what bet I lost to have to wear it in public. I laughed and said being a dad. The mom then praised me for being a good dad, her husband wouldn't never do that, especially in public. They were so impressed that I wasn't ashamed or something," one Redditor wrote.
2. Changing a diaper
Photo by Paul Hanaoka on Unsplash
Changing a baby's diapers is like parenting 101. It's a fundamental task of the first couple of years. Yet it's sadly way too common (especially in generations past) for dads to opt out completely.
"I have a 7 week old as of Friday and my in laws were impressed that I feed and change her. I was like seriously. Feels like a basic thing," another dad wrote.
3. Feeding
Ditto on feeding. Are you really a "great dad" for giving your baby a bottle? Or are you just doing the basics?
"When my daughter was about six months old we flew to CA for my grandma’s 95th birthday. At some point I was sitting feeding her a bottle and my dad asked my Grandma what she thought seeing me feeding my daughter. She said it was nice because she’s never seen a dad do that before," a dad said in the thread.
4. Literally just talking to children
A man having any positive interaction at all with young children? *applause*
"Sometimes people will tell me that they think I'll be such a good dad, simply because at family functions, I will sit there and talk to the kids and listen to their goofy kid stories and play with them. I only do it because people did it for me when I was young and I feel like it helped make me more personable and confident in talking to people. ... I don't feel like it's anything special, but apparently that's the mark of a good dad," another guy added.
5. Grocery shopping with the kids
Not only is it apparently unheard of for a dad to take the kids out in public alone, but to buy groceries for the family? Incredible!
"I take my kids to the grocery store all the time. Every time I do some old boomer lady wants to throw me a parade cause her husband / father / grandfather would never do those things," one dad noticed.
6. Cooking
man cutting vegetables
Photo by Jason Briscoe on Unsplash
If you're a dad and you can make anything other than Kraft mac n' cheese, you may be eligible for a major international award.
A mom chimed in on this one to say, "Mom here. But this is what my husband does every week with our daughter. He does most the cooking. Because he is much better at it. He also is far better at sticking to the grocery list than me. ... But this one definitely gets the two of them plenty of comments about how wonderful he is to take care of his child."
7. Doing laundry and cleaning
Didn't you know that laundry and cleaning are 'woman's work'? If any dad lifts a finger in this area, he's automatically a hero.
"My wife was out of town three days and nights this past weekend, and my mother came over to see the kids. She heard the washing machine and asked what that noise was; I said I was doing laundry. She said, 'You're doing laundry and everything else for them?' Like, yeah. [What] do you mean? Kids will wear soiled underwear and not eat dinner?" one dad wrote.
8. Playing with kids at the park
Going to the park is the easiest, laziest way to get the kids out of the house and off your case for a while.
"Even just taking them to the park, I get a lot of 'oh my husband would never take them to the park he couldn't handle it.' You just gotta show up and be present," a father noted.
9. Going on vacation with the kids alone
To be fair, this one is a lot of work and is definitely a sign of a capable dad! But moms do this kind of thing all the time and rarely get a word of praise for it.
"I’m a full time single dad. I took my daughter to Florida last summer. At a water park, my little girl made friends with a couple other kids. The other kids mom asked me where my daughter’s mom was, I told her we were divorced. She was shocked that I had taken my daughter on vacation all by myself with no help from mom. The vibe she gave off about it kind of pissed me off," another dad said.
10. Showing up to practice
Taking kids to swim or soccer practice, while hectic on the schedule, is pretty easy! Usually you just have to sit there and read a book or catch up on work for an hour.
"I get so much credit from mums around me because I'm at all the dance classes and performances," one dad begrudgingly noticed.
11. Doing bedtime
When people tell me I'm an amazing dad for brushing my kids' teeth and reading them a story, what they don't know is I'm really just trying to get them to bed so I can relax.
Photo by Shalev Cohen on Unsplash
"I took my kids down to visit my sister last year for a few days; my mam is staying with her and the kids love their granny. The wife stayed home because our dog was sick, so I was flying solo. Bedtime came, and I'm going through the routine we've had since they were born - teeth brushed, washed and dressed, then bed. They're 13 and 10, so they know the drill, I was just reminding them offhandedly as they were running around her house. My sister turns to me and says, 'you're a good dad; our dad wouldn't have bothered doing any of that,'" a dad wrote.
12. Being involved in medical emergencies
"My 1yo son was in the hospital for a couple days after getting the flu and RSV which set off his asthma. I got called a good dad for being in the hospital with him overnight. The bar is way too low," a baffled father wrote.
I mean, where else would you be?!
13. "Babysitting"
If you're out flying solo with the kids, you must be giving mom a break. Kudos to you for keeping everyone alive until the boss gets back!
"The number of positive compliments I received for 'babysitting' my daughter when simply walking her in the pram was astounding. It happened almost every day?!" a dad said.
You can look at this phenomenon as a good thing. Dads spend more time with their kids than in the past, that's just a fact. Overall, we're more hands-on, more nurturing, and more involved. People, especially from older generations, aren't used to seeing it just yet and can't help but be impressed. That's a good thing and a sign of positive change!
But there is a dark side to these well-meaning compliments. At times they can feel backhanded, like they stem from a very low opinion of what dads are actually capable of. Wow you put your little girl's hair in a ponytail all by yourself without mom's help, amazing! Dads can sometimes be treated like stand-in or temporary caretakers, just holding down the fort until mom can get there. For fathers who really want to do their best, that's not a good feeling.
We just have to keep raising the bar little by little, generation by generation, until people stop being surprised when they see a dad doing a half-decent job.
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