
People have WILDLY different opinions on "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein.
I was excited to read "The Giving Tree" to my children when they were little. I'd read the Shel Silverstein classic so many times as a kid and remembered loving it. In my memory, it was a poetic story of a tree that gave selflessly, never expecting anything in return, and of the undying love she had for a little boy who eventually turned into an old man.
"And the tree was happy." It was sweet, I thought.
Then I read the book again as an adult and noticed some things I hadn't as a child. While I had focused on the generosity of the tree as a child, this time the boy-who-becomes-a-man stood out. Wow, what a selfish jerk he was. And the tree, while admirably willing to give selflessly, seemed a little too giving. Martyrdom for an important cause is one thing; sacrificing everything you are for a guy who uses you over and over and takes without any thought to your needs or well-being is entirely another.
I soon found out I wasn't alone in feeling conflicted about the story. In fact, "conflicted" is an understatement compared to what some people feel about it. Some say that it's the worst story they've ever read. Even some die-hard Shel Silverstein fans hate it. Others will defend it to their last breath as their favorite book of all time.
Publicist Eric Alper shared the news that U.S. Postal Service will be issuing a "The Giving Tree" forever stamp later this year, and the comments show how wildly people's opinions differ on this book.
Alper didn't share any commentary with the news. He just wrote, "The U.S. Postal Service will release a stamp to honor Shel Silverstein and his 'The Giving Tree' book in 2022."
But with the way people responded, you'd think he'd said, "Puppies are ugly and Paul Rudd is the devil."
People flooded the comments with their thoughts on the book, with many unleashing their fury over the book's premise:
"Ugh- this book keeps coming up! It’s a great representation of a manipulative, one-sided, narcissistic relationship. I can’t stand it."
"Nooooo! Not that! Anything but that! It's awful! A poor example! Bleah! Shel had so many great books. This is the only one I hate! I disagree with the modeling here. Very unhealthy! So sad."
"Hate that book. Teaches children how to not have boundaries. Love everything else by Uncle Shelby."
"Are you kidding me?!?! Let’s make a stamp celebrating how to be so selfish and keep taking until there’s nothing left to take. This was literally the worst children’s story ever written!!!!"
Others gave a bit less vehement responses, explaining exactly what their negative experiences with the book were:
"I picked this book up one day and started reading it to my kids, not knowing what I was getting into. And I found myself saying 'This boy is terrible!', after every page. And I looked at my kids and I said 'I love you, and I am so grateful for you, but you are going to grow up and take care of yourselves and you are not getting all my leaves.'"
"I do not understand why people love this book. On one side of the relationship there’s a someone who takes and takes and is perfectly happy for the tree to give all of itself while giving absolutely nothing in return. On the other side there’s the tree who literally destroys itself and only finds self-worth in sacrifice. It’s sickening."
Lovers of the book spoke their minds as well, sharing their perspectives that the book is about unconditional love:
"I am so excited about this stamp. As a kindergarten teacher, I read to my class several times every year. We would all have tears in our eyes by the end of the book!"
"All you haters have missed the point. The tree represents the parents. They give all they have to give for their children's success, and are brought the greatest joy and pain watching them grow and leave them."
"I love this book so much. As soon as I became a mom I understood exactly what was going on here. I’d give every last ounce of me to make my kiddo happy."
"This book is about sacrifice, and how the tree embodies nothing but love for the little boy. My 'Giving Tree' was my daddy, not because of financial reasons, but for his unwavering love for me."
"Wow! The comments are heartbreaking. This book is about unconditional love. I guess that’s been cancelled."
Interestingly, some people shared that they love the book precisely because of the problematic relationship they see in it:
"I love this book because it teaches a person what happens if he/she remains in an unhealthy relationship. In the end, both are sad."
"Maybe I’m alone in this but I always read it as a cautionary tale. Be careful how much you take from someone, someday you’ll learn that you’ve taken too much."
"I don’t hate this book. It is a cautionary tale. Teach your child that taking, taking, taking all the time will destroy the giver. (and the taker will lose their friend) Teach your child that while giving is good, too much is not healthy. Teach your child boundaries!!"
"I kinda noticed as a child, the person was kinda greedy and only visited when he wanted to take. As an adult leaving a narcissistic marriage, boom! Whoa! Good book tho. I'd honestly use this book to teach about it and how it's nice to give, but have boundaries."
One thing is certain: The book still has us talking after 57 years.
Perhaps the mark of a brilliant book isn't in teaching a clear lesson but in getting people talking. Different people take different things from stories, and good literature prompts discussion over those perspectives. It's not as often that we get this kind of debate out of a seemingly simple children's book, but Shel Silverstein had a way of tapping into adult complexity while writing for children, and he's certainly done it with "The Giving Tree."
Good for USPS for honoring Silverstein and his work with a stamp—and good luck with the can of worms it opened by choosing to do it with this particular book.
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."