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Influencer admits she's not 'naturally pretty' breaking down changes

Influencer is a word that has seeped into the lexicon all over the world. It's now considered a legitimate career option that Millennials and Gen Zers have fully taken advantage of, as it can be lucrative. But just like magazines, everything you see on social media isn't real. Influencers highly curate their content, even the ones that have "messy" homes. It's curated mess much of the time.

The other area that is highly curated is the image viewers see of the person making the content. Oftentimes they look incredibly put together causing people to believe their "no makeup" makeup is the way they naturally look. An influencer named Mila has decided to set the record straight after consistently receiving comments saying that she's naturally pretty. Mila adamantly contends that she is in fact not naturally pretty and doesn't want people to think that she is.

influencers; social media; social media mental health; mental health; plastic surgery; social media filterswoman leaning on wall Photo by Wesley Tingey on Unsplash

Social media has been linked to low self-esteem in both young teenage girls and boys causing other mental health issues such as body dysmorphia, eating disorders, depression and anxiety. Some cite the heavily edited and curated photos of influencers and celebrities on the platforms as contributing factors. Given this information, it seems more influencers are ripping the filter off to show that they don't even look who they portray once the filters fall.

Mila shares her reason for people not to fall for her being a naturally pretty person in a now viral video shared across multiple social media platforms. The seemingly makeup free beautiful blond says, "I don't want anyone to ever think that I'm like naturally pretty or I naturally look like this. My hair is bleached. Eyebrows are dyed and groomed. Eyelashes, eyelash serum. If I don't have an eyelash serum on I don't have eyelashes."

influencers; social media; social media mental health; mental health; plastic surgery; social media filterswoman in black off-shoulder shirt sitting on brown wooden stairs Photo by Jon Ly on Unsplash

The woman then starts pointing out sections on her face where she receives botox before adding, "I've had multiple lip flips in my life. Nails are busted but they are in fact fake. Tan is fake. Teeth are not fake but they were thousands of dollars and five years worth of braces and dental work and then on top of that, whitening the f**k out of my teeth every single week so they look like this. None of this is natural. I don't want any young girl following me to think that this is a natural beauty standard."

While Mila admits that there may be some people out there that just naturally wake up looking like that, she does not. She explains that she's spent a lot of money to look the way she does so she can feel her best. It seems that she's hoping her honest video reaches teenagers who are falling into the trap of believing that people on the internet are naturally beautiful without trying. People in the comments were thrilled with the influencers honesty with some wanting others to do the same.

"WE NEED MORE INFLUENCERS LIKE YOU!!!!!" one person exclaims.

"THANK YOU! I would have needed this content when I was a kid," someone else says.

"Thank you. Sometimes I forget that people (can) get things done and I just assume everyone is as pretty as they come while scrolling," another writes.

influencers; social media; social media mental health; mental health; plastic surgery; social media filterswoman getting cosmetic injectionsPhoto credit: Canva

"Thank you. Sometimes I forget that people (can) get things done and I just assume everyone is as pretty as they come while scrolling," someone shares.

Another commenter shares that she hopes things will go further, "This is definitely a huge step in the right direction. Maybe one day we can prove to little girls that it doesn’t take so much work to feel our best. Maybe we don’t feel the need to spend sooooo much time effort and hard earned money to finally feel content in our skin. Cause if it requires all of that maybe it’s not really contentment. Nothing against OP just bringing up a thought I had when I saw it."

Service dog flunks out of training school in spectacular fashion

There are lots of different kinds of service and companion dogs. Some are "seeing-eye" dogs that assist people with visual impairments. People with mobility issues, hearing loss, or who are at risk of seizures might benefit from a service dog to help them and keep them safe. People with autism, PTSD, anxiety, or depression can also benefit from a highly trained canine companion.

Regardless of the task, certified service animals must undergo an extremely rigorous training process. Their job is not an easy one, and they need to prove they're capable and not prone to being distracted. No one knows this better than the folks at Double H Canine Academy in Louisville, Kentucky — a training facility for pups.

The team at Double H also recognizes that not every dog is suited for a life of service. In a hilarious viral video posted to YouTube, it's abundantly clear that not all dogs are meant to follow orders.


german shepherd, dogs, service dog, seeing eye dog, emotional support dog, service animal, animals, disabilityGerman Shepherds make great service dogs. Well, not all German Shepherds. Photo by Anna Dudkova on Unsplash

Ladies and gentleman, meet Ryker. He's a German Shepherd who was a student at Double H trying to earn his service dog bona fides (bone-a-fides?). Unfortunately, Ryker flunked out in such spectacular fashion that the team couldn't help but put together a little "highlight" package of his best moments.

Ryker really tries his best, but the poor guy just can't help himself. He doesn't want to work; he wants to play. Ryker steals a tennis ball from the bottom of a walker, drags around an entire wheelchair by its handle, and pulls his trainer over trying to go after a fetch ball. There is no piece of equipment that he doesn't want to chew or climb on. There is no leash that can contain him. There is literally not a single distraction that he will not fall for. Perhaps his most extreme fail is, when trying to open a refrigerator door, he ends up dragging the entire thing halfway across the room.

Definitely not service dog behavior. Watch his contagious, fun-loving spirit in the video here:


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The video racked up over 2 million views, and commenters agreed: Ryker may not have passed, but he was definitely a certified Very Good Boy.

'Why bring one thing from the fridge when you can bring the whole damn thing"

"Frankly, I don't understand why he didn't pass. I mean he folded the wheelchair up. He removed the walker from the person after they clearly were done with it. He washed the floor. He moved the fridge. What more could you ask of him?"

"My family and I adopted a service academy 'drop-out' ten years ago. He's still with us and is the most AMAZING dog I'll ever have."

"Being a service dog was not his purpose in life... still a good boy, his purpose was to give us laughs."

"On the plus side, if you lose a tennis ball Ryker is your dog!"

As you can see, Ryker is living his life to the fullest. While he may never be the world's greatest service dog, he continues to provide an invaluable testament to being true to oneself.


sleeping dog, dogs, animals, funny animals, funny dogsRyker is more cut out for this kind of life.Giphy

The list of skills that service dogs can have is astounding. Not all dogs will acquire all of these skills, but some of the basics are:

  • Carrying things for their owner
  • Guiding their owner safely
  • Waking their owner
  • Waking their handler and/or helping them up
  • Interrupting dissociating or freezing
  • Find their owner if lost
  • Alerting bystanders, calling for help, or even using a dog-friendly phone to contact emergency services!
  • And so many more

The fact that Ryker has had any training at all makes him exceptionally well-suited to civilian life. As a family house-dog, Ryker won't need any of the skills above, but his abundance of love and playfulness will serve him incredibly well with his forever family.

This article originally appeared five years ago. It has been updated.

Photo by Samet Kurtkus on Unsplash

A hoarder's home.

Sometimes, it simply starts with one pile. Some receipts, pay stubs, and bills. Then another pile forms—a shirt you meant to hang up, some workout gear. The piles begin to multiply, and before you know it, they've erupted like tiny volcanoes spewing lava (and junk) around your home. If you don’t even know where to begin in terms of clean-up, you're not alone.

cleaning, clutter, piles, hoarding, hoarderCleaning Hoarding GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy

Mai Zimmy, on the TikTok page Mom Life & Cleaning, knows this feeling all too well. With over 400,000 followers and 9.1 million likes, she's living proof that an inability to organize is more common than one might think. In one post, she confesses that she was once a hoarder while showing screenshots of her cluttered house in 2020. Her voiceover exclaims, "I was literally drowning in clutter" as the camera pans over a junk-filled bathtub she dubs the "trash tub."

Now, just a few years later, she has helpful tips on how to remedy the situation. She mentions, right off the bat, that she learned the fundamental methods from "Queen" Marie Kondo. Questions like "Does it spark joy? Have you used/worked with it in the last year? Remove duplicates" and more, made famous by Kondo, help her begin. This leads to the truthful realization, "You can't clean clutter."

The first step, she says, is to "Learn to let go." Per Kondo, she shows how to put things into categories and work through them one step at a time.

@maizimmy

Ok. Maybe I was 1% of the problem 😆😅 people ask me all the time how I got my house in order when it was SO FAR GONE. The decluttering and cleaning schedule was HUGE. But even more than that was how my life has changed and just gotten easier over time. The babies aren’t helpless babies forever. It gets easier there for sure one they are in grade school. Plus, the obvious elephant in the room 😅 being a divorced mom in MY situation is about 100 times easier than what I was going through as a “married single mom”. I by no means want to promote divorce, but I do want to promote healthy marriages. No marriage counselor would have ever said my marriage was healthy and that is abundantly clear with how stress free life feels after leaving. #momlife #motherhood #cleantok #cleaningmotivation #cleanwithme #declutter @Procter & Gamble @Clorox

Step two is to "Implement a cleaning schedule." The idea is for that decluttering becomes an actual habit, etched into your mind. She urges people to "find cleaning schedules that work for you." She writes over a cleaning video, "I personally aim to do a nightly reset of the kitchen and living room before bed because these are the most-used parts of my home." She adds, "Then I have my weekly 1.5-hour reset and the occasional 'panic clean' before people come over lol."

Zimmy tells us that the third step is the most important to remember: "Give yourself some grace." She confesses, "When my home was at its worst, I was a 'married single mom' of three kids, two and under." She further relays that she had a full-time job, only to come home "to the second shift of taking care of everything for everyone." She then, adorably, throws some clothes into drawers, writing she still believes in the #NoFoldMethod.

She stresses the idea that "sometimes we're just in the thick of it. Things won't be so crazy forever, and to make the effort to do what you can in the free moments you have." She jokes, "As kids grow and life sorts itself out, you'll realize you were never the problem. Everyone else was." (She then notes in her TikTok description, "Okay, maybe I was ONE percent of the problem.")

Many in the comments seemed to really connect to her use of the phrase "married single mom." Zimmy also writes, "I by no means want to promote divorce, but I do want to promote healthy marriages. No marriage counselor would have ever said my marriage was healthy, and that is abundantly clear with how stress-free life feels after leaving."

In Zimmy's vulnerability, she gets to the root of what was or wasn’t working for her without vilifying anyone. Decluttering is so much more than tidying up, and many therapists explain what it can do to lift depression and anxiety. In her piece "The Many Mental Benefits of Decluttering" for Psychology Today, Diane Roberts Stoler, Ed.D. writes, "Excessive clutter often leads to feelings of shame, hopelessness, and guilt. The feelings can spiral, making it difficult to find the motivation to address the clutter. If someone is already suffering from depression, a cluttered home can worsen that depression. It is often a cycle. The more depressed you get, the harder it is to clean and organize."

Big and small changes, with a game plan and grace for yourself, can help break the shame spiral and get your living space actually "livable" again.

Image shared by Madalyn Parker

Madalyn shared with her colleagues about her own mental health.

Madalyn Parker wanted to take a couple days off work. She didn't have the flu, nor did she have plans to be on a beach somewhere, sipping mojitos under a palm tree. Parker, a web developer from Michigan, wanted a few days away from work to focus on her mental health.

Parker lives with depression. And, she says, staying on top of her mental health is absolutely crucial. "The bottom line is that mental health is health," she told Upworthy over email. "My depression stops me from being productive at my job the same way a broken hand would slow me down since I wouldn't be able to type very well."

Parker's story first went viral in 2017. Since then, mental health days still have a stigma in some places but the understanding and acceptance of them has grown quite a bit. There's now a Mental Health Awareness Day every year on October 8 and in places like California, mental health days are covered with the same worker protections as sick days. The Mayo Clinic recommends individuals take mental health days as "an intentional act to alleviate distress and poor mood and motivation, while improving attitude, morale, functioning, efficiency and overall well-being." As they accurately report, mental health days are not just for people are feeling overwhelmed, they can be part of a deliberate strategy to maintain productivity and strong morale amongst individuals and teammates at work.

And that's why the response from Parker's response was so great at any time but especially because for far too many people, it was still ahead of its time.


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She sent an email to her colleagues, telling them the honest reason why she was taking the time off.

"Hopefully," she wrote to them, "I'll be back next week refreshed and back to 100%."

Soon after the message was sent, the CEO of Parker's company wrote back:

"Hey Madalyn,

I just wanted to personally thank you for sending emails like this. Every time you do, I use it as a reminder of the importance of using sick days for mental health — I can't believe this is not standard practice at all organizations. You are an example to us all, and help cut through the stigma so we can all bring our whole selves to work."


Adam Scott Dancing GIF by Apple TVGiphy

Moved by her CEO's response, Parker posted the email exchange to Twitter.

The tweet, published on June 30, 2017, has since gone viral, amassing 45,000 likes and 16,000 retweets.

"It's nice to see some warm, fuzzy feelings pass around the internet for once," Parker says of the response to her tweet. "I've been absolutely blown away by the magnitude though. I didn't expect so much attention!"

Even more impressive than the tweet's reach, however, were the heartfelt responses it got.

"Thanks for giving me hope that I can find a job as I am," wrote one person, who opened up about living with panic attacks. "That is bloody incredible," chimed in another. "What a fantastic CEO you have."


Some users, however, questioned why there needs to be a difference between vacation time and sick days; after all, one asked, aren't vacations intended to improve our mental well-being?

That ignores an important distinction, Parker said — both in how we perceive sick days and vacation days and in how that time away from work is actually being spent.

"I took an entire month off to do partial hospitalization last summer and that was sick leave," she wrote back. "I still felt like I could use vacation time because I didn't use it and it's a separate concept."


- YouTubewww.youtube.com



Many users were astounded that a CEO would be that understanding of an employee's mental health needs.

They were even more surprised that the CEO thanked her for sharing her personal experience with caring for her mental health.

After all, there's still a great amount of stigma associated with mental illness in the workplace, which keeps many of us from speaking up to our colleagues when we need help or need a break to focus on ourselves. We fear being seen as "weak" or less committed to our work. We might even fear losing our job.


Ben Congleton, the CEO of Parker's company, Olark, even joined the conversation himself.

In a blog post on Medium, Congleton wrote about the need for more business leaders to prioritize paid sick leave, fight to curb the stigma surrounding mental illness in the workplace, and see their employees as people first.

"It's 2017. We are in a knowledge economy. Our jobs require us to execute at peak mental performance," Congleton wrote. "When an athlete is injured, they sit on the bench and recover. Let's get rid of the idea that somehow the brain is different."

This article originally appeared eight years ago.