This article originally appeared on 1,14.15
Have you listened to the miscellaneous voices of your miscellaneous items on the floor lately?
Oh yours don't speak? Well these do.
And they have something to admit.
THEY ARE MURDERERS!
Conveniently enough, they offer four easy steps to make them not murderers.
And now for some follow-ups...
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO...
Less murderous miscellaneous items, safer babies, better world.