+
mental illness depression
Photo by Julia Caesar on Unsplash
photo of woman on green grass field outdoors during daytime

When it comes to living with mental illness, the notion of gratitude may seem obscure. After all, depression hasn't always made me a good person, or parent. It has affected my friendships and relationships, making me a shitty daughter, mother and wife. It has negatively impacted my work. I've quit (and lost) jobs due to my poor mental health. And I withdraw from everyone — and thing — when I'm in the midst of a depressive episode. I turn off the lights and hide beneath the covers, shutting the door on those I care about and love. In short, depression sucks. Living with a long-term mental illness sucks. But it's not all bad. In spite of the hurt, loneliness, isolation, shame and pain, there are many upsides to living with mental illness, and I am thankful for depression — and my diagnosis. I am thankful for my mental health condition.



woman sitting on black chair in front of glass-panel window with white curtains Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

You see, depression has given me many gifts. Because of my illness, I am able to appreciate the little things more. When I am well, I stop to smell the proverbial roses. I take in the "sights." Because of my illness, I know my value. I realize my worth, i.e. when I am well, I recognize my power — and my strength. I know that I am more than a feeling, mood or diagnosis. I also know that I have survived "episodes" before and can survive them again because I am a fighter. I am strong. And I've made friends because — not in spite — of my illness. Some of the best relationships in my life were forged in the fire. They were formed during depressive episodes and solidified over shared struggles. Over the difficulties we faced and our plight.

Depression has made me resilient. My mental illness has taught me that no matter what life throws at me, I have a chance. It might not be the best chance, or an opportune one, but it is a chance. And it's what you do with those chances that counts. (And yes, sometimes getting up is resilient. Showering and showing up is courageous and strong.)

Depression has made me passionate. When I am well, it is clear to me how lucky I am and I do not want to waste one moment. I pursue my dreams with fervor and intention. I live life like tomorrow was not promised. I fight for my ambitions, aspirations, happiness and dreams.

Depression has made me humble. Over the course of two decades I've learned that I cannot do this alone. I need — and deserve — help. If you live with a mental illness, know that you do too.

Depression has made me appreciate my friends and family more because their love is vast and endless. Even when I am sick and withdraw, from them and the world, they do not give up on me. Their love knows no bounds.

Depression has made me empathetic. Having struggled — a lot — I sympathize when others are hurt or in pain. My capacity for compassion is like a well, endless and deep.

person reaching black heart cutout paper Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

And depression has made me a better person and parent. Because of my depression, I am a better mom. How so? Because my depression is teaching my daughter many things. During my episodes, she learns about self-care, and how to ask for help. It's okay to take a break, for example. She is learning the power of self-awareness and the gift of saying no. When I am well, my daughter and I talk (ad nauseum) about her feelings. We discuss emotions like sadness, anger, hurt, and pain. And she is learning how to process each one.

Make no mistake: I don't like living with depression. I wish I would wake up one day and the veil would be lifted. My disease would be gone. I also know I'm extremely lucky. I have the tools and resources necessary to combat my illness. My therapist and psychiatrist are excellent. My medication is well-managed and working, at least right now. But after 20-plus years living with depression — and a smattering of other mental health conditions — the lessons which I've learned which cannot be dismissed. I wouldn't trade my experience for anything in the world.

So take that, dearest depression. Take that, my old "friend." Because I'm living better with you and in spite of you. I'm surviving and thriving today because of my diagnosis and disease.

via Chewy

Adorable Dexter and his new chew toy. Thanks Chewy Claus.

True

Every holiday season, millions of kids send letters asking for everything from a new bike to a pony. Some even make altruistic requests such as peace on Earth or helping struggling families around the holidays.

But wouldn’t the holiday season be even more magical if our pets had their wishes granted, too? That’s why Chewy Claus is stepping up to spread holiday cheer to America’s pets.

Does your dog dream of a month’s supply of treats or chew toys? Would your cat love a new tree complete with a stylish condo? How about giving your betta fish some fresh decor that’ll really tie its tank together?

Or do your pets need something more than mere creature comforts such as life-saving surgery?

Keep ReadingShow less
Photo by Jeremy Wong on Unsplash

Teen raises $186,000 to help Walmart worker retire.

In America, many people have to work well past the age of retirement to make ends meet. While some of these people choose to work past retirement age because it keeps them active, some older people, like Nola Carpenter, 81, work out of necessity.

Carpenter has been working at Walmart for 20 years, way beyond most people's retirement age just so that she can afford to continue to pay her mortgage. When 19-year-old Devan Bonagura saw the woman looking tired in the break room of the store, he posted a video to his TikTok of Carpenter with a text overlay that said, "Life shouldn't b this hard..." complete with a sad face emoji.

In the video, Carpenter is sitting at a small table looking down and appearing to be exhausted. The caption of the video reads ":/ I feel bad." Turns out, a lot of other people did too, and encouraged the teen to start a GoFundMe, which has since completed.

Keep ReadingShow less
Joy

US players comforting Iranian opponents after their World Cup match is humanity at its best

The politically charged match ended with several beautiful displays of genuine human connection.

US and Iranian players embrace after World Cup match-up.

The lead-up to the 2022 World Cup match between the U.S. and Iran was filled with anticipation, as the teams battled for a spot in the final 16 and long-running tensions between the two nations on the political stage rose to the surface.

The Iranian team had some internal tensions of its own to deal with as players navigated the spotlight amid human rights protests in their home country and rigid expectations of their government. According to CNN, after refusing to sing the national anthem before its match against England on November 21, the Iranian team was reportedly called into a meeting with the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps and told that their families would face “violence and torture” if they did not sing the anthem or engaged in any other form of protest.

Hence, before the match against the U.S., the players were shown somberly singing the anthem. Then they got down to the business they were there for—trying to win (or at least tie) a soccer match to advance to the World Cup round of 16.

It was an exciting game, with the U.S. ultimately winning 1-0. But in the end, all of the intense competition and political tensions were superseded by some truly heartwarming acts of good sportsmanship and human kindness.

Keep ReadingShow less

Philadelphia is taking the city back to the past.

Remember when calling your parents, a tow truck or a friend when you were out and about meant digging in your pocket for a quarter to make a pay phone call? Well, a Philadelphia-based collective, PhilTel, is jumping into the past with a modern twist, by installing free-to-use pay phones throughout the city.

Of course, the pay phones that many of us grew up were removed from public places years ago. There no longer seemed to be a need for them when most people had a phone in their pocket or in their hand. But it's easy to forget that not everyone has or wants that luxury. For some people, staying that connected all the time can be too much and for others, it's simply financially impossible to own a cell phone.

Keep ReadingShow less
Photo by Jaleel Akbash on Unsplash

Japanese soccer fans explain why they clean the stadium after a match.

Japanese fans at the World Cup tournament have been receiving praise for their admirable habit of cleaning up the stadium after their team's matches. It's commonplace to see Japanese fans, blue garbage sacks in hand, hanging back after the game to pick up the trash everyone has left behind in the stadium.

It's not the first time Japanese cleanliness has made headlines. Some schools in Japan don't even hire janitorial staff, as the students clean their schools themselves. Other than in specific educational programs such as Montessori (where practical skills and habits like cleaning and organizing the environment are incorporated into the pedagogy), that idea is practically unheard of in the U.S. But watching the Japanese fans picking up after a game, the automatic assumption that someone else is going to clean up after us feels like a mistake.

So what is it that compels Japanese fans to clean the stadium at the World Cup, despite the fact that there are people hired to do it already?

It generally comes down to one word: "atarimae."

Keep ReadingShow less