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Please don't say these 11 terrible things to someone with a mental illness.

I know I've said things to my daughter about her anxiety that were immensely unhelpful.

And though I've apologized, I cringe thinking about how many more times she's going to have to hear unintentionally hurtful things about her mental health struggles.

Those of us who don't deal with mental health issues can sometimes stick our collective foot in our mouth. Big time.


It's only through years of talking about my daughter's experiences and observing it firsthand that I've learned how little I understood about mental illness. I've seen how well-meaning comments can totally miss the mark and how alienating such comments can be for those on the receiving end.

Lifestyle reporter Hattie Gladwell created a hashtag — #ThingsPeopleHaveSaidAboutMyMentalIllness — to highlight some of the ridiculous things people say to those struggling with mental health issues.

Gladwell posted a tweet asking people to share the most unhelpful or insensitive thing people have said about their mental illness, starting with her own example:

1. "One person told me I didn't need medication, I just needed to be more motivated."

The responses are incredibly telling of just how many misconceptions there are about mental illness.

2. "You don't look like you're mentally ill."

[rebelmouse-image 19532950 dam="1" original_size="602x219" caption="Image via That Girl With BPD/Twitter." expand=1]Image via That Girl With BPD/Twitter.

Because you can see inside someone's mind with your eyeballs? What?

3. "When you have a job and a family, all these thoughts will disappear."

[rebelmouse-image 19532951 dam="1" original_size="575x240" caption="Image via Elle/Twitter." expand=1]Image via Elle/Twitter.

I am 100% certain that adding a job and a family on top of mental health issues is not a cure. For real.

4. "You have too much money to have anything wrong with you."

[rebelmouse-image 19532952 dam="1" original_size="599x189" caption="Image via Alice/Twitter." expand=1]Image via Alice/Twitter.

Mental illness crosses all economic lines. You can't necessarily buy your way out of it.

5. "There is nothing wrong with you."

[rebelmouse-image 19532953 dam="1" original_size="597x214" caption="Image via Chazie/Twitter." expand=1]Image via Chazie/Twitter.

First, do you tell people with a missing limb that they're faking it and trying to get attention?

And second, depression isn't a contagious disease. For the love of...

6. "Weren't you taking meds?"

[rebelmouse-image 19532954 dam="1" original_size="601x332" caption="Image via Anne Greif/Twitter." expand=1]Image via Anne Greif/Twitter.

When it comes to medication and mental illness, you can't win for losing. People will tell you that you don't need meds. Then they'll tell you that you do need them. Then they'll question why you haven't miraculously been cured by them already.

People need to understand that medication is a management tool, not a cure-all, and that finding the right medication is like solving a complex puzzle with lots of moving parts. (Not to mention the struggle of finding the right therapist.)

7. "Have you tried praying away your depression?"

Image via Alisa/Twitter​.

We don't tell people to pray away diabetes or heart disease or a broken bone. It makes just as little sense to tell someone to pray away their mental illness.

8. "So you're just superstitious?"

Image via Lydia/Twitter​​.

It's natural for people to try to relate with things they can understand, but making reaches such as these is just silly.

All of us have felt nervous, but that doesn't mean we truly understand clinical anxiety. All of us have felt down, but that doesn't mean we understand clinical depression.

9. "Have you ever thought about how there are people who have it much worse than you do?"

Image via Mika/Twitter​.

Mental illness is not a product of selfishness. We can acknowledge and empathize with others while also going through our own stuff at the same time.

10. "It's attention seeking."

Image via Juliette Burton/Twitter​.

A cornucopia of insensitivity!

But seriously, "I wish I was anorexic"? No, you really, really, really don't.

11. "Positive thinking is the key to battling depression."

(sigh) ... Sometimes truly all you can do is respond with sarcasm: #LiterallyNeverOccurredToMe.

The responses to this hashtag hold an important message: We all need to better our understanding of what people with mental health issues have to deal with all the time.

I'm not an innocent party here. I know I've said things that were unhelpful, and though it was always from a place of caring and concern, that intent didn't trump the impact of my words.

It's hard to understand something you've never experienced. And we need to acknowledge the fact that people with mental illnesses are experiencing something those of us without mental illnesses can't completely relate to.

But that doesn't mean we can't do our best to find out what actually is helpful to say.

Often times, a simple, empathetic, "I'm sorry you're going through this" or "Is there anything I can do to help?" — or simply listening without saying anything — is the best thing we can do.

Stigma hurts.

But if we all take time to learn about mental illnesses we don't understand and strive to help those who are struggling to feel supported and loved without judgment or shame, the world will be a kinder place.

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10 anti-holiday recipes that prove the season can be tasty and healthy

Balance out heavy holiday eating with some lighter—but still delicious—fare.

Albertson's

Lighten your calorie load with some delicious, nutritious food between big holiday meals.

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The holiday season has arrived with its cozy vibe, joyous celebrations and inevitable indulgences. From Thanksgiving feasts to Christmas cookie exchanges to Aunt Eva’s irresistible jelly donuts—not to mention leftover Halloween candy still lingering—fall and winter can feel like a non-stop gorge fest.

Total resistance is fairly futile—let’s be real—so it’s helpful to arm yourself with ways to mitigate the effects of eating-all-the-things around the holidays. Serving smaller amounts of rich, celebratory foods and focusing on slowly savoring the taste is one way. Another is to counteract those holiday calorie-bomb meals with some lighter fare in between.

Contrary to popular belief, eating “light” doesn’t have to be tasteless, boring or unsatisfying. And contrary to common practice, meals don’t have to fill an entire plate—especially when we’re trying to balance out heavy holiday eating.

It is possible to enjoy the bounties of the season while maintaining a healthy balance. Whether you prefer to eat low-carb or plant-based or gluten-free or everything under the sun, we’ve got you covered with these 10 easy, low-calorie meals from across the dietary spectrum.

Each of these recipes has less than 600 calories (most a lot less) per serving and can be made in less than 30 minutes. And Albertsons has made it easy to find O Organics® ingredients you can put right in your shopping cart to make prepping these meals even simpler.

Enjoy!

eggs and green veggies in a skillet, plate of baconNot quite green eggs and ham, but closeAlbertsons

Breakfast Skillet of Greens, Eggs & Ham

273 calories | 20 minutes

Ingredients:

1 (5 oz) pkg baby spinach

2 eggs

1 clove garlic

4 slices prosciutto

1/2 medium yellow onion

1 medium zucchini squash

1/8 cup butter, unsalted

1 pinch crushed red pepper

Find full instructions and shopping list here.

bow of cauliflower ham saladGet your cauliflower power on.Albertsons

Creamy Cauliflower Salad with Ham, Celery & Dill

345 calories | 20 minutes

1/2 medium head cauliflower

1 stick celery

1/4 small bunch fresh dill

8 oz. ham steak, boneless

1/2 shallot

1/4 tspblack pepper

1/4 tsp curry powder

2 tsp Dijon mustard

1/4 tsp garlic powder

3 Tbsp mayonnaise

1/8 tsp paprika

2 tsp red wine vinegar

1/2 tsp salt

Find full instructions and shopping list here.

tofu on skewers on a plate with coleslawPlant-based food fan? This combo looks yums. Albertsons

Grilled Chili Tofu Skewers with Ranch Cabbage, Apple & Cucumber Slaw

568 calories | 20 minutes

1 avocado

1/2 English cucumber

1 (12 oz.) package extra firm tofu

1 Granny Smith apple

3 Tbsp (45 ml) Ranch dressing

1/2 (14 oz bag) shredded cabbage (coleslaw mix)

2 tsp chili powder

1 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil

1/2 tsp garlic powder

1/2 tsp salt

Find full instructions and shopping list here.

frittata in a cast iron skilletSometimes you just gotta frittata.Albertsons

Bell Pepper, Olive & Sun-Dried Tomato Frittata with Parmesan

513 calories | 25 minutes

6 eggs

1/2 cup Kalamata olives, pitted

2 oz Parmesan cheese

1 red bell pepper

1/2 medium red onion

8 sundried tomatoes, oil-packed

1/4 tsp black pepper

1 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil

1/2 tsp Italian seasoning

1/4 tsp salt

Find full instructions and shopping list here.

plate with slices of grilled chicken and a caprese saladCaprese, if you please.Albertsons

Balsamic Grilled Chicken with Classic Caprese Salad

509 calories | 25 minutes

3/4 lb chicken breasts, boneless skinless

1/2 small pkg fresh basil

1/2 (8 oz pkg) fresh mozzarella cheese

1 clove garlic

3 tomatoes

1 Tbsp balsamic vinegar

4 3/4 pinches black pepper

1 1/2 tsp extra virgin olive oil

3/4 tsp salt

Find full instructions and shopping list here.

four stuffed mushrooms on a plateThese mushrooms look positively poppable.Albertsons

Warm Goat Cheese, Parmesan & Sun-Dried Tomato Stuffed Mushrooms

187 calories | 35 minutes

1/2 lb cremini mushrooms

1 clove garlic

1/2 (4 oz) log goat cheese

1/4 cup Parmesan cheese, shredded

2 sundried tomatoes, oil-packed

1 1/4 pinches crushed red pepper

1 tsp extra virgin olive oil

1/4 tsp Italian seasoning

2 pinches salt

Find full instructions and shopping list here.

plate with open English muffin with goat cheese and sliced baby tomatoes on topMove over, avocado toast. English muffin pizzas have arrived.Albertsons

English Muffin Pizzas with Basil Pesto, Goat Cheese & Tomatoes

327 calories | 10 minutes

3 Tbsp (45 ml) basil pesto

2 English muffins

1/2 (4 oz) log goat cheese

1/2 pint grape tomatoes

3/4 pinch black pepper

2 pinches salt

Find full instructions and shopping list here.

pita pocket on a plate filled with veggies, meat and cheeseThis pita pocket packs a colorful punch.Albertsons

Warm Pita Pocket with Turkey, Cheddar, Roasted Red Peppers & Parsley

313 calories | 20 minutes

1/4 (8 oz) block cheddar cheese

1/2 bunch Italian (flat-leaf) parsley

4 oz oven roasted turkey breast, sliced

1/2 (12 oz) jar roasted red bell peppers

1 whole grain pita

3/4 pinch black pepper

1/2 tsp Dijon mustard

2 tsp mayonnaise

Find full instructions and shopping list here.

plate with toast smeared with avocado and topped with prosciuttoDid we say, "Move over, avocado toast?" What we meant was "Throw some prosciutto on it!" Albertsons

Avocado Toast with Crispy Prosciutto

283 calories | 10 minutes

1 avocado

2 slices prosciutto

2 slices whole grain bread

1 5/8 tsp black pepper

1/2 tsp extra virgin olive oil

1/8 tsp garlic powder

1/8 tsp onion powder

Find full instructions and shopping list here.

bowl of chili with cheese and green onions on topVegetarian chili with a fall twistAlbertsons

Black Bean & Pumpkin Chili with Cheddar

444 calories | 30 minutes

2 (15 oz can) black beans

1/2 (8 oz ) block cheddar cheese

2 (14.5 oz) cans diced tomatoes

2 cloves garlic

2 green bell peppers

1 small bunch green onions (scallions)

1 (15 oz) can pure pumpkin purée

1 medium yellow onion

1/2 tsp black pepper

5 7/8 tsp chili powder

1/2 tsp cinnamon

2 tsp cumin, ground

1 tsp salt

1 Tbsp virgin coconut oil

Find full instructions and shopping list here.

For more delicious and nutritious recipes, visit albertsons.com/recipes.

@brett.gaffney/TikTok

Brett Gaffney recalls how his grandma's Christmas gift nearly got him arrested at the airport.

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That was certainly the case for Los Angeles-based actor Brett Gaffney. Only his obedience made for some awkward moments at airport security.

In a viral TikTok video, Gaffney is seen at the airport, a large briefcase nestled beside him, as he explains how his Grandma had accidentally been trying to get him “arrested” with her surprise gift. Turns out, this gift had more than one surprise to bestow.
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Secret millionaire left behind millions to his tiny hometown

The humble groundskeeper asked that the money be used for education, health, recreation or culture.

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Odds are you haven’t heard of Geoffrey Holt. Holt lived a modest, frugal life, working as a groundskeeper to a mobile home park, where he also resided, in the tiny town of Hinsdale, New Hampshire.

Holt lived so frugally that he was known to wear threadbare clothes, ride his lawnmower about town in lieu of a car, and be more than content to spend his time either working or tinkering with his model automobile collection.

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Comedian's song about life in the 90s has Gen X giggling with nostalgia

Ah, the good old days, when you had to choose between the phone or the internet.

Sammy J took us on a trip down memory lane.

Those of us who remember life before the internet love nothing more than to share "back in my day" stories with today's youngsters who've never had to try to get somewhere without GPS. When we tell our kids about dial-up internet, they look at us the same bewildered way we looked at our parents when they talked about party lines. So much fun.

Nothing splits the generations like what was considered advanced technology during our formative years, and one comedian has encapsulated that divide in an ode to the 1990s.

Sammy J sang "You'll Never Know What It's Like" at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival and had the audience giggling along with recollections of life in the 90s. Driving around in the car with a big book of maps? Check. Making a collect call to tell your mom to pick you up but avoiding the collect call charges by telling her where you were instead of saying your name? Check. Agonizing over whether to take a photo because you only have 24 shots in your disposable camera? Check.

Younger generations will never know what it was like to live so primitively, it's true. But Gen X does, and this song is like taking a cold plunge into a pool of nostalgia.

Enjoy:

People loved the musical trip to the past.

"Thank you for taking me down memory lane! It was a blast 😀" wrote one commenter.

But some couldn't agree on whether young people have it better today or had it better in the 90s.

"All true! If only our teenagers knew who good they have it!" wrote one person.

"Life was so so good in the 90’s I feel lucky it didn’t have to grow up in this era 😕," shared another.

"God I miss the 90s!" wrote another. "Both my daughters always say they wish they grew up in the 90s bc it seemed so much fun and it was!!"

Kids today really will never know what those days were like, but that's okay. They'll be singing their own "back in my day" songs someday and marvel at how much has changed since they were young.

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