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motivation

You're not alone in this.

Have you ever found yourself at your desk, ticking off tasks like a robot, feeling as if you're observing your life from the outside? Or perhaps you've spent late nights binge-watching episodes of Big Brother while fully aware that you should be sleeping, yet unable to stop?

That might not be laziness or lack of motivation. You could be experiencing something called a “functional freeze,” a state that’s more common than you might realize. You're not alone in this.


woman, sad, stuck, emotional, overwhelmed Woman looks down, dejected. Photo credit: Canva

People describe the experience of a functional freeze as “running on autopilot while simultaneously drowning.” It’s a sophisticated psychological state where individuals maintain outward functionality while experiencing profound internal emotional disconnection. On the outside, you’re getting things done—showing up to work on time, paying bills, hitting the gym—but on the inside, it’s a complete physiological and emotional shutdown, leaving you disconnected from everything. Effectively, you are functional yet frozen.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re just going through the motions of life without actually living it, keep reading. This article might change how you view what’s going on in your brain and body.

What is a functional freeze, anyway?

This phenomenon occurs when the nervous system becomes overwhelmed by chronic stress, trauma, or persistent demands, such as a demanding job, caretaking responsibilities, or financial pressures, which triggers the dorsal vagal complex: a primitive survival mechanism that induces emotional and psychological shutdown.

Think of it like your phone when it’s at 2% battery. Yes, everything technically works, but it’s sluggish, apps keep crashing, and you’re just trying to make it through until you can reach a charger. That’s your brain on functional freeze.


The science behind it is fascinating and slightly terrifying. When you’re constantly stressed or overwhelmed, your sympathetic nervous system—the part of your nervous system that controls your body's 'fight-or-flight' responses—gets stuck in the “on” position.

It’s like your nervous system is playing dead, which worked great for our ancestors avoiding sabertoothed tigers, but isn’t so helpful when you’re trying to navigate modern life.

Being in this state is more than just feeling “blah” or being in a cranky mood. Functional freeze is a legitimate neurobiological response to chronic stress, and it can last for weeks, months, or even years if left unchecked.

The tricky part is that because you’re still functioning—still showing up, still getting things done—it often goes unrecognized by both you and the people around you.

8 key signs of functional freeze

You feel emotionally numb

The hallmark sign of functional freeze involves severely diminished emotional responses… all the time. You know how some people describe depression as feeling sad constantly? (Crying, can’t get out of bed, etc.) Functional freeze is more like feeling nothing at all.


woman, sad, stuck, emotional, overwhelmed Functional freeze divorces you from emotion. Photo credit: Canva

Your best friend gets engaged, and you’re genuinely happy for her, but the emotion feels like it was auto-generated, instead of something you feel in your body. You get a parking ticket (which would normally outrage you, but this time, it’s just a shrug of the shoulders. Good things happen, bad things happen, and your emotional response is nowhere to be seen.

Feeling like this isn’t stoicism or being emotionally mature. Your feelings are locked away, stashed in a safe where you can’t access them.

Your body feels like it belongs to someone else

In a functional freeze, you become disconnected from your physical self. You might ignore hunger cues, forget to drink water, or not notice that your shoulders have been practically touching your ears from stress.

People describe it as sensations of “floating outside themselves” or feeling like they’re “watching their life happen from a distance”. It’s not quite dissociation, but you don’t feel present in your skin.

Autopilot mode

When you're a functional freeze, even simple decisions feel overwhelming. You might find yourself doing the same things over and over—same lunch, same songs to listen to, same Netflix show on repeat—not because you love these things, but because choosing feels impossible. Your struggle with decision-making is real and valid.


woman, sad, stuck, emotional, overwhelmed Are your days starting to blur together?Photo credit: Canva

Your days start to blur together because you’re not present for any of them. You’re going through the motions, but there’s no real intentionality behind your actions.

Persistent procrastination and decision paralysis

Here’s where functional freeze gets cruel: you can handle the basics (mostly), but anything beyond survival seems insurmountable. That creative project you’ve been so excited about? The closet that needs organizing? Your friend’s birthday is inching closer and closer, and you've yet to buy a gift. They all feel like climbing Mount Everest in flip-flops.

Your brain doesn’t have the bandwidth for non-essential tasks because it’s using all its energy to keep you upright and moving.

People are exhausting, even the ones you love

Social interactions start to feel performative, like you’re playing yourself in a movie about your life. Your brain reminds you that you love your friends, but hanging out with them feels like an unavoidable obligation. You find yourself canceling plans—not because you’re busy, but because the thought of having to be “on” already exhausts you.


masks, sad, stuck, emotional, overwhelmed People experiencing a functional freeze might feel like they're wearing a mask in social interactions. Photo credit: Canva

Functional freeze often drives individuals toward increasing social isolation, not from depression or anxiety, but from a fundamental disconnection from interpersonal experiences. Being alone starts to feel genuinely easier than trying to connect with others.

Your brain is moving through molasses

You know that feeling when you first wake up and your thoughts are all foggy? In a functional freeze, that’s pretty much your entire day. Everyday tasks take longer, information needs repetition, and mental sharpness feels sluggish and dull.


Mental fog of this magnitude can be especially frustrating if you’re used to being on top of your game. You’re still competent, but everything requires more effort than it should.

You’re tired in your bones

This isn’t a “Oops, I stayed up watching Can Me If You Can too late last night,” tired. It’s a “I could sleep for 12 hours and still wake up exhausted” tired. Rest alone won’t alleviate this level of fatigue because your system is stuck in survival mode.

It’s a profound, persistent energy depletion that rest doesn’t resolve, often accompanied by a sense of being “wired but tired,” like your body is buzzing with anxious energy while simultaneously feeling like you could collapse at any moment.

Numbing behaviors feel like salvation

When everything feels too much, it’s natural to reach for things that help you check out. You might be mindlessly scrolling social media for hours, binging shows you’re not even interested in, or pouring that third glass of wine to feel something (or block out the nothingness).

These aren’t necessarily unhealthy behaviors in moderation, but in functional freeze, they become compulsive ways to avoid dealing with the disconnection you’re feeling.


woman, sad, stuck, emotional, overwhelmed Woman feeling checked out. Photo credit: Canva

The good news: You can get unstuck

Let’s be clear: if you recognized yourself in the descriptions above, you are not broken, lazy, or weak. Functional freeze is your nervous system trying to protect you. It’s just doing a lousy job of it at this point.

Recovery isn’t about powering through or forcing yourself to feel better. It’s about gently coaxing your nervous system back online. Here’s how to start:

  1. Start with the breath. Your breath is the fastest way to communicate with your nervous system, and it’s one of the few things you can control when everything else feels chaotic. Try the 4-7-8 technique: breathe in for four counts, hold for seven, exhale for eight.
  2. Get back in your body. When you’re stuck in functional freeze, gentle movement can help reconnect you with your physical self. Try stretching, gentle yoga, or even just shaking your body like you’re a dog getting out of water (shaking helps discharge stored stress energy. Animals do it naturally after escaping predators.)
  3. Make tiny decisions. Since decision-making feels overwhelming in a functional freeze, start embarrassingly small. Choose between two of your favorite snacks. Pick which song to listen to. Decide whether to wear the blue shirt or the black one. These micro-decisions help rebuild your executive functioning without overwhelming your already taxed system.
  4. Create anchors in the day. When everything feels blurry and autopilot-y, small rituals can help you feel more present. Maybe it’s consciously tasting your morning coffee instead of chugging it. (Is that a note of hazelnut, you detect?) Or stepping outside for five minutes after lunch and breathing in the fresh air, no screens allowed. These aren’t life-changing habits—they’re just little moments where you pause and notice you exist.
  5. Find professional help. Look for practitioners who understand trauma-informed care, somatic experiencing, or polyvagal theory. These approaches work with your nervous system rather than just trying to think your way out of the problem. EMDR, somatic experiencing, and trauma-sensitive yoga can be beneficial because they address the physiological aspects of being stuck, not just the mental ones.

woman, smiling, therapy, connection, feelings Remember, you are not alone. Photo credit: Canva

You’re not alone

If you’re struggling with functional freeze, remember that you are not alone. In our hyperconnected, always-on world, functional freeze has become nearly epidemic. We’re all trying to fit into an overstimulated society that isn’t designed for the human nervous system.

The fact that you’re reading this, that you’re looking for answers and ways to feel more alive in your own life—that’s already a step toward unfreezing. Your awareness is the beginning of change.

Your feelings are still there, waiting for you to come back to them. And when you’re ready, they’ll be there to welcome you home.

Health

Science confirms ‘Move in Silence’ trend might be the smartest way to achieve your goals

“I promise you things always work out better when you keep them to yourself.”

Science confirms ‘Move in Silence’ trend might be the smartest way to achieve your goals.

TikTok's latest viral wisdom is backed by hard data—and it's making people rethink their communication habits. We live in a world of chronic oversharing. We post everything, from the routes we run (including screenshots as proof of all that hard work), to the pale-green iced matcha latte sitting at our desks or a present from a boyfriend (who will be tagged prominently, not secretly off screen). Who knows when, but our brains became wired for sharing: to record, to curate, and to post every second of our lives, then consume that of others to a disturbing degree. So, here's a radical idea: when it comes to goals and plans, try keeping them to yourself. It could be the key to making them a reality.

That's the message behind TikTok's massively popular "Move in Silence" trend, where creators like @noemoneyyy have cracked the contradictory code to success: Instead of broadcasting every big idea or project that runs through your head, if you actually want it to come to fruition, keep your plans to yourself until they're executed. And it's not just a trend; surprisingly, science also supports this muted approach.


@noemoneyyy

Work in private and let the results speak! #privatelife #privatelifehappylife #workinprivate #creatorsearchinsights

"As a former oversharer who used to tell every single friend, every single family member, or a partner everything I was doing, I promise you things always work out better when you keep them to yourself," explains creator @noemoneyyy in a video that's garnered millions of views.

On a different video by @mandanazarfhami, she says, “I don’t care what you’ve got going on in your life: that dream job, that city that you want to move to, that dream person, that dream life, that dream anything. Literally keep it to yourself until it’s done.”

Commentors were quick to agree, with one person writing: “From a young age, I never told anyone my next steps. I also taught my husband and son to keep our private matters to themselves and just do things 💯Not many people like it, but who cares🌝🙌🏼🫶🏼”

Another chimed in, “This concept has changed my life for the better.” Others replied, “100 agree 💕” and “100%🙌🏼people can’t ruin what is silent, show results.”


@mandanazarghami

monitoring spirits are a real thing - move in silence and watch how much your life changes #fypシ


What's going on here

In a study done by New York University, researchers found that people who kept their goals private worked on tasks for an average of 45 minutes, compared to the 33 minutes of work completed by those who announced their plans in advance. The twist? The people who shared their goals expressed feeling closer to finishing, despite doing approximately 25% less work.

NYU psychologist Peter Gollwitzer, who led the research, concluded that "once you've told other people your intentions, it gives you a 'premature sense of completeness.'" He also found that the brain is made up of "identity symbols," which create one's self-image. Interestingly, both action and talking about action create symbols in your brain, so simply speaking about a future plan or something you want to do satisfies that part of your brain. When we make our goals public, especially ones that matter to us and deal with our identity, our ability to achieve said goal is significantly reduced. As the old adage goes, "actions speak louder than words."

Stranger still, in his paper "Does Social Reality Widen the Intention-Behavior Gap," Gollwitzer notes that in order for this phenomenon to happen, one must truly care about their goals. "Ironically, this effect was only found for participants who are very committed to their goal!" PsychologyToday notes. "The lesson learned is that the more passionate you are about your goals, the more secretive you should be about them."

Quiet, silence, peace, shhh, no speaking, secret The more passionate you are about your goals, the more secretive you should be. Photo credit: Canva

Another reason to keep quiet: If you're a beginner trying something new, sharing your plans could potentially open you up to criticism and negative feedback, which could deter you from even starting. At the University of Chicago, professor Ayelet Fishbach conducted studies to determine how positive and negative feedback affects the pursuit of one's goal. According to Atlassian, she and her team found:

  • When positive feedback signals commitment to a goal, it increases motivation.
  • When positive feedback signals progress, it actually decreases motivation.
"One example the researchers give is a math student who gets a good grade on a test. If she perceives it to mean she likes math, she will study harder. If, however, she sees the high score as a sign she is making progress in the class, she may ease up and study less." - Atlassian


@_alliechen

I used to be such an open book but now im a lot more reserved on my goals and plans so ppl dont judge #moveinsilence #relateablecontent #girlies #viral #success

We've all been there: excitedly telling everyone about your grand plans to backpack through Europe, the year you'll finally learn Spanish, or joining the group lesson at the tennis courts you always pass by… only to mysteriously lose all motivation a week later. Turns out, those lovely dopamine bursts that accompany every enthusiastic "That sounds great!" or "You should totally do it!" response might be precisely what's holding you back.

The good news? You don't need to become closed-off and secretive, a hermit on the top of a mountain who's afraid to share any part of themselves with the world. Research suggests that sharing your goals with one or two selected friends who can be trusted to provide meaningful support is still a good idea. Just hold off on the Instagram Live announcement until you've actually accomplished something substantial.

So, the next time you sit down to write your goals, whether they be a new year's resolution, the day's to-do list, or a five-year plan, think twice about sharing it with others. Give it time and you might have something better to share soon: the results.

This article originally appeared in April.

Mel Robbins giving a TEDx speech.

One of the most disappointing aspects of life is that, at some point, everyone close to you will eventually let you down or fall short of your expectations. Some have slip-ups and fall short of what you'd expect, and some consistently let you down your entire life.

It can be deflating when people don’t show up when you need them, especially if you have been there for them. When you need people and they don’t show up, it feels like you’re carrying a burden that you can never get off your back. That’s why Mel Robbins’ two-word “Let them” theory is so powerful. It liberates you from constantly feeling controlled by those who let you down.

What is the ‘Let them’ theory?

Mel Robbins is a podcast host, author, motivational speaker, former lawyer, and author of The Let Them Theory. In the TikTok video below, she explains how allowing people to be themselves gives you the power to improve the things you can control, instead of suffering in the same cycle of expectations and disappointments.

@melrobbins

People can only meet you as far as they've met themselves... and a lot of them haven't done the work. Listen to The Let Them Theory, narrated by yours truly, only on @audible 💚 #melrobbins #letthem #letthemtheory People can only meet you as far as they've met themselves... and a lot of them haven't done the work. Listen to The Let Them Theory, narrated by yours truly, only on @Audible 💚 #melrobbins #letthem #letthemtheory

The “Let them” practice begins by acknowledging that others are imperfect and we cannot change them. “People can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves. Most people haven't gone to therapy, they haven't looked at their issues, and frankly, they don't want to. Let them. Let your parents be less than what you deserved," she opens the video. "Let your family life be something that isn't a fairy tale. Try to remind yourself that they're just doing the best they can with the resources and the life experiences they have."

mel robbins, motivation expert, mel robbins podcast, let them theory, microphone Motivation expert Mel Robbins.Photo © Cody OLoughlin (PR Photo)

While it can be hard to admit that some of the most important people in your life will never turn things around to your satisfaction, accepting that reality is the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. “But here's the important part,” Robbins continues. “Now that you know the 'Let them' theory, you get to choose what happens moving forward, because you're gonna focus on what you can control, which is what you say, what you do, what you value, and what energy you bring to the relationship.”

Put simply: Now that you allow them to be who they are, you can act accordingly. You can stop carrying the weight of unmet expectations.

What is the locus of control?

Robbins’ theory is a simple way of understanding the locus of control psychological concept. The locus of control is the extent to which we believe we have control over our own lives. When our actions, thoughts, and feelings are contingent on events (and people) outside of our control, we have an external locus of control. The healthy thing is to revert that to an internal locus of control, where we believe we control the outcomes of our actions. Those with an internal locus of control tend to be less influenced by others, work hard to get what they want, and report being happier, and more independent.

mel robbins, motivation expert, mel robbins podcast, let them theory, psychology Motivation expert Mel Robbins.Photo via © Tony Luong (PR Photo)

“The only person you can change is you,” Robbins says at the end of her video. "When you say ‘Let them,’ you see your family exactly as they are, perhaps for the very first time in your life. They're human. You have no control over what's happened. You have no control over who they are. You can only control what you do from this point forward. Accepting the reality of your situation doesn't mean you're surrendering to it. Instead, it's about reclaiming your power to shape your future.”

Now that you’ve taken control of your future, what are you going to do with it?

What to do when that inner spark inside you feels like it's fading away.

Why do you feel unmotivated? The answer isn't always clear. Could it be your diet, sleep, a lack of time with friends, not drinking enough water, or some mysterious combination? Sometimes, low motivation manifests as mindlessly scrolling on your phone or struggling to focus after lunch. But sometimes, it runs deeper than that. Ask yourself: Have you ever felt your work energy slowly draining, yet couldn't identify why? You're still capable of basic tasks. You show up on time and complete your work adequately—no one else notices anything wrong. But that inner spark that once drove you—the one that used to burn so bright—flickers and dims with each passing day. You start to feel just like this famous GIF from The Simpsons.

You're not alone. There's a name for what you're experiencing—it's called “quiet cracking”—and according to recent research from TalentLMS, a staggering 54% of employees feel this same squeeze, as if someone is slowly dimming their inner light. Unlike “quiet quitting,” where employees consciously choose to do only what their job requires—nothing more, nothing less—quiet cracking is far more subtle and sneaky. It's not a deliberate choice, but rather a gradual erosion of job satisfaction that happens so silently, you might not even notice the cracks forming. But here's the good news: once you recognize it, you can identify the causes and find the right solution to piece yourself back together. Your unique spark isn't gone forever—it's just waiting to shine again.

What is quiet cracking, exactly?

Think of a slow leak in a tire. At first, everything seems normal—the tire functions and gets you where you need to go. But gradually, that tiny leak deflates the tire until one day you realize you’ve been driving around all this time with a flat. No wonder it’s been so hard. Quiet cracking works the same way with your workplace satisfaction. Quiet cracking is the leak in the tire that is your workplace satisfaction. Or, as the researchers at TalentLMS put it, quiet cracking is “the erosion of workplace satisfaction from within.”

stress, overwork, quiet cracking, employees, dissatisfactionQuiet cracking and burnout are different. Photo credit: Canva

Unlike burnout or quiet quitting, quiet cracking differs from other workplace issues because its symptoms are hard to spot. It's slow, gradual nature silently chips away at your self-worth and motivation. This erosion of motivation, workplace engagement, and well-being can leave you feeling confused, stuck, unheard, and unsure about your future.

For employers who might dismissively ask “Who cares?”, the answer is clear: quiet cracking has been shown to follow a predictable pattern—disengagement leads to decreased productivity, which ultimately results in resignation. Gallup reports that disengaged employees cost the global economy $8.8 trillion annually (nearly 9% of total GDP) due to workplace unhappiness. What was once an individual concern becomes a significant organizational issue—and failure.



7 common causes of quiet cracking

  1. Lack of recognition and appreciation: Like the clip from The Devil Wears Prada demonstrates, when your contributions consistently go unnoticed, motivation begins to slink away. You might work late on projects and pour your heart into your work, yet receive not even a simple “Thank you.” And while employees aren't seeking constant praise, research shows that those experiencing quiet cracking are 68% less likely to feel valued and recognized at work compared to their peers—meaning they need something.
  2. Insufficient training and development: Research shows that employees who haven't received training in the past year are 140% more likely to feel insecure about their jobs. When the company you dedicate 40+ hours to each week shows no interest in your professional development, your motivation begins to wither. Being asked to adapt to new technologies or processes—whether it's learning new task management software or adjusting to increased office time—without proper training is like being thrown into deep water without swimming lessons. Soon, anxiety and confusion spiral, making your entire work life feel overwhelming.
  3. Managers who can't connect and poor communication: Nearly half (47%) of employees experiencing quiet cracking report having managers who are unresponsive and inattentive to their concerns. When these employees vulnerably share their struggles or ideas, they're met with managers who are constantly distracted, dismissive, or unreachable. The crack begins to widen into a chasm.
  4. Unclear expectations: 15% of employees say they don't clearly understand what's expected of them. In today's rapidly changing, AI-adapted workplace, this confusion only makes things worse.
  5. Overwhelming workloads and mounting stress: One of the top three concerns that drive job insecurity is overwork. With 29% of workers reporting unmanageable workloads, it's no wonder that many employees are quietly cracking under the pressure.
  6. Career uncertainty: While 82% of employees feel secure in their current positions, only 62% feel confident about their future at their company. This 20-point gap reveals a profound disconnect: employees are questioning, “Where do I fit in the company's future?” When they can't find an answer, quiet cracking sets in—and motivation vanishes.
  7. Fear and isolation around change: It's a rapidly changing world. A Pew Research survey found that 52% of workers worry about AI's impact on their jobs, while another 32% fear reduced employment opportunities. When change feels more threatening than exciting—and you're facing it alone—that fear gradually corrodes your confidence.

stress, overwork, quiet cracking, employees, dissatisfactionLuckily, quiet cracking is fixable. Photo credit: Canva

How to fix quiet cracking

The good news? Quiet cracking is preventable—and fixable—with the right mindset and approach from management. First, establish what experts call “psychological safety” at work: an environment where people feel comfortable sharing concerns without fear of judgment. This means ensuring they feel truly heard. When a team member opens up to you, give them your complete attention—yes, it's fine to ignore Slack or Teams for a few minutes, we promise—and listen actively to what they're saying.

Recognition doesn't need to be expensive or elaborate. Adults don't expect you to pin their photo to a wall or offer praise without meaning. A simple “nice work” or “I noticed the extra work you put into that report” can make a significant impact. Make appreciation a daily habit rather than a special occasion. For workplace growth, invest in continuous learning opportunities—even brief 15 to 20-minute sessions—regardless of whether some employees say they “don't need them."


If you're personally experiencing quiet cracking and aren't sure how to discuss it, schedule a one-on-one meeting with your supervisor to share your feelings. If you don't have that kind of relationship with your supervisor or don't feel comfortable having this conversation, you can share this article or the original TalentLMS study—it explains why employees experience these feelings and offers constructive steps for managers, all while maintaining a blame-free approach.

Because as Nikhil Arora, CEO of Epignosis, the parent company of TalentLMS, reminds,

“Quiet Cracking may not be obvious at first, but over time it can wear down team energy, connection, and trust. But the solution isn’t complicated. When people feel stuck, unheard, or unsure about their future, that’s when disengagement creeps in. Giving employees space to grow—through learning, skilling, and real conversations—is one of the most powerful ways to turn things around. It not only shows people they matter, but helps them rediscover a sense of purpose and forward momentum, something we all seek at work and in life.”

Yes, quiet cracking affects many of us right now—but there's hope. By being more aware and understanding of each other's struggles, we can create workplaces where everyone feels valued and excited to contribute. The power to make positive change is in our hands.