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How to get unstuck in life by simply making a next move — any next move.

Where you're going doesn't matter as much as you think it does. Maybe you should just go.

Lately, I’ve been hearing from lots of friends who are struggling to make the right decisions.

“I want to write a book but I don’t know where to start.” “I’d love to quit my job, but what would I do?” “I’ve always wanted to travel but can’t find the time.”

In a way, they’re all saying the same thing: They’re scared and stuck.


All photos via iStock.

But here’s what I know: 30 years from now, you won’t remember what cereal you chose at the grocery store. On your deathbed, you won’t care which vacation cruise package you picked. You won’t recall whether you chose to see the romantic comedy or the action adventure movie (unless, of course, it’s another "Die Hard" movie —  those are great).

None of these things will have mattered. What will matter is that you acted, that you made a contribution, and that you decided to do something. Or that you didn’t.

The fact is, most decisions aren’t life-changers.

The universe doesn’t care what you have for breakfast, but chances are you will eat something. Certainly, some people would say you’d be better off eating eggs than Pop-Tarts (unless, of course, we’re talking brown sugar Pop-Tarts — those things are divine). So it’s not that all decisions are equal — they aren’t — it’s that most of the time, you just need to decide to do something.

Often the decisions are just about whether to act or not. And this is the very thing most of us are afraid of doing. We waste time writing up plans and setting goals that never get done. We worry about doing the wrong thing and obsess over inconsequential details. And, sadly, we sometimes end up squandering the most important moments of our lives because we’re afraid to just do something.

For me and plenty of people I talk to, a lot of the planning is basically just stalling.

Hiding. Another way to stay stuck. So what’s the solution? What’s the answer to this paralysis we sometimes feel?

I’m not anti-planning, but sometimes you just need to start. Life is a journey, not a business plan. What would happen if you quit trying to control things? I know, it sounds sort of grand, doesn’t it? But do you want to plan your life away or live it? Let go and live the story.

Where you’re going doesn’t matter as much as you think it does, either. Just go. More often than not, you just need to move in a direction, not the direction. Stop worrying too much about which way to go and just get going.

A friend of mine calls this “the bicycle principle.”

He means that it’s easier to make changes in life once you’re moving. Just as with riding a bike, you can steer more easily the faster you’re going. And conversely, if you’re not moving and you try to steer, you’ll probably fall down.

Isn’t it interesting that failure usually happens not when we move too quickly, but too slowly? So just start pedaling and see where you end up. Where you are is nowhere near as final as it seems.

If this whole bicycle thing challenges the very fibers of your being, try any (or all) of the following:

1. Go for a jog or a bike ride to nowhere in particular.

Just start moving in hopes of leaving the familiar. Turn down every random street or path you can find until you get lost. Don’t worry about how you’ll get back. Then, see where you end up. You’ll make it back alive — I promise — and you just might be surprised where it takes you.

Remember what it feels like to wonder where you’re going. Do you recall the resistance to just get moving in the first place? Make an effort to get lost more often. It’ll make you better at overcoming that initial stall you experience every time you have to make a decision, big or small.

2. Sit outside without any technology for a full hour.

Let yourself get bored and see where the boredom takes you. Can you hear the birds chirping? The wind blowing? Yourself breathing? Pay attention to the cars or kids or sounds of insects in the background. Count the noises you recognize and imagine where they’re coming from. Bonus points for journaling about this and sharing it with someone.

Try to do this once a week, then every other day, then every day. One of the reasons we struggle to make better decisions is because we keep getting distracted with new things. Distraction is antithetical to decisiveness. Giving yourself a break from the noise will help you tune into the choices you need to make.

3. Do something that scares you.

Apply for a job. Tell someone you love them. Ask your neighbor on a date. Laugh out loud in a public place. Deliver a speech to a stranger. Climb a tree. Call someone you have a grudge against and apologize.

When you do this, pay attention to the release of fear you feel. Remember that feeling the next time you feel intimidated by a big goal or a risky situation. Remember that you didn’t die. And try to trust the process in the future.

Some of these things may seem silly, but the more you do them, the more in control you’ll feel.

The truth is that we can’t plan life, but we can participate in it. The things that seem uncontrollable are more in your grasp than you realize. Just remember:

It’s not about the destination. It’s about the direction.

If you don’t know what to do with your life — what book to write, what song to sing, what job to choose, which person to ask out — just  try picking something. It’s not a fail-proof solution, but it ain’t a bad place to start. Because the truth is once you start moving, you can always change directions.

Leah Menzies/TikTok

Leah Menzies had no idea her deceased mother was her boyfriend's kindergarten teacher.

When you start dating the love of your life, you want to share it with the people closest to you. Sadly, 18-year-old Leah Menzies couldn't do that. Her mother died when she was 7, so she would never have the chance to meet the young woman's boyfriend, Thomas McLeodd. But by a twist of fate, it turns out Thomas had already met Leah's mom when he was just 3 years old. Leah's mom was Thomas' kindergarten teacher.

The couple, who have been dating for seven months, made this realization during a visit to McCleodd's house. When Menzies went to meet his family for the first time, his mom (in true mom fashion) insisted on showing her a picture of him making a goofy face. When they brought out the picture, McLeodd recognized the face of his teacher as that of his girlfriend's mother.

Menzies posted about the realization moment on TikTok. "Me thinking my mum (who died when I was 7) will never meet my future boyfriend," she wrote on the video. The video shows her and McLeodd together, then flashes to the kindergarten class picture.

“He opens this album and then suddenly, he’s like, ‘Oh my God. Oh my God — over and over again,” Menzies told TODAY. “I couldn’t figure out why he was being so dramatic.”

Obviously, Menzies is taking great comfort in knowing that even though her mother is no longer here, they can still maintain a connection. I know how important it was for me to have my mom accept my partner, and there would definitely be something missing if she wasn't here to share in my joy. It's also really incredible to know that Menzies' mother had a hand in making McLeodd the person he is today, even if it was only a small part.

@speccylee

Found out through this photo in his photo album. A moment straight out of a movie 🥲

♬ iris - 🫶

“It’s incredible that that she knew him," Menzies said. "What gets me is that she was standing with my future boyfriend and she had no idea.”

Since he was only 3, McLeodd has no actual memory of Menzies' mother. But his own mother remembers her as “kind and really gentle.”

The TikTok has understandably gone viral and the comments are so sweet and positive.

"No the chills I got omggg."

"This is the cutest thing I have watched."

"It’s as if she remembered some significance about him and sent him to you. Love fate 😍✨"

In the caption of the video, she said that discovering the connection between her boyfriend and her mom was "straight out of a movie." And if you're into romantic comedies, you're definitely nodding along right now.

Menzies and McLeodd made a follow-up TikTok to address everyone's positive response to their initial video and it's just as sweet. The young couple sits together and addresses some of the questions they noticed pop up. People were confused that they kept saying McLeodd was in kindergarten but only 3 years old when he was in Menzies' mother's class. The couple is Australian and Menzies explained that it's the equivalent of American preschool.

They also clarified that although they went to high school together and kind of knew of the other's existence, they didn't really get to know each other until they started dating seven months ago. So no, they truly had no idea that her mother was his teacher. Menzies revealed that she "didn't actually know that my mum taught at kindergarten."

"I just knew she was a teacher," she explained.

She made him act out his reaction to seeing the photo, saying he was "speechless," and when she looked at the photo she started crying. McLeodd recognized her mother because of the pictures Menzies keeps in her room. Cue the "awws," because this is so cute, I'm kvelling.

A simple solution for all ages, really.

School should feel like a safe space. But after the tragic news of yet another mass shooting, many children are scared to death. As a parent or a teacher, it can be an arduous task helping young minds to unpack such unthinkable monstrosities. Especially when, in all honesty, the adults are also terrified.

Katelyn Campbell, a clinical psychologist in South Carolina, worked with elementary school children in the aftermath of the Sandy Hook shooting. She recently shared a simple idea that helped then, in hopes that it might help now.

The psychologist tweeted, “We had our kids draw pictures of scenery that made them feel calm—we then hung them up around the school—to make the ‘other kids who were scared’ have something calm to look at.”



“Kids, like adults, want to feel helpful when they feel helpless,” she continued, saying that drawing gave them something useful to do.

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Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani wows audiences with his amazing musical talents.

Mozart was known for his musical talent at a young age, playing the harpsichord at age 4 and writing original compositions at age 5. So perhaps it's fitting that a video of 5-year-old piano prodigy Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani playing Mozart has gone viral as people marvel at his musical abilities.

Alberto's legs can't even reach the pedals, but that doesn't stop his little hands from flying expertly over the keys as incredible music pours out of the piano at the 10th International Musical Competition "Città di Penne" in Italy. Even if you've seen young musicians play impressively, it's hard not to have your jaw drop at this one. Sometimes a kid comes along who just clearly has a gift.

Of course, that gift has been helped along by two professional musician parents. But no amount of teaching can create an ability like this.

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