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Teachers

I asked dozens of teachers why they're quitting. Their answers are heartbreaking.

These are teachers who love kids and love teaching. We need to listen to them.

I asked dozens of teachers why they're quitting. Their answers are heartbreaking.

When I was a child, I used to line up my dolls and stuffed animals on my bedroom floor, pull out my mini-chalkboard and in my best teacher's voice, “teach” them reading, writing and arithmetic. Pretending to be a teacher was my favorite kind of imaginative play. In college, I majored in Secondary Education and English and became an actual teacher. I loved teaching, but when I started having kids of my own, I quit to stay home with them. When they got to school age, I decided to homeschool and never went back to a traditional classroom.

I kept my foot in the proverbial school door, however. Over the years, I’ve followed the education world closely, listened to teacher friends talk about their varied experiences and written countless articles advocating for better pay and support for teachers. I've seen a teacher burnout crisis brewing for a while. Then the pandemic hit, and it was like a hurricane hitting a house of cards. Teachers are not OK, folks. Many weren’t OK before the pandemic, but they’re really not OK now.

A recent poll from the National Education Association found that 90% of its members say that feeling burned out is a serious problem, 86% have seen more teachers quitting or retiring early since the pandemic began and 80% say that job openings that remain unfilled have added to the workload of those who are still teaching. And more than half of teachers say they will leave the profession earlier than they had planned.

I checked in with several dozen teachers who have quit recently or are close to quitting, and the response was overwhelming. Over and over I heard the same sentiments: I went into teaching because I enjoy working with kids and I want to make a difference. I love teaching. I love my students. These are teachers who throw their whole heart into their work.

So why are they quitting? The reasons are plentiful—and heartbreaking.

Low pay is an issue many of us think of when it comes to teachers, but it's not the main thing pushing teachers to quit. One teacher told me that in his school district, garbage collectors make $10K more per year and have better benefits than teachers with graduate degrees and a decade of experience, but that wasn't his primary reason for wanting to leave. There’s no question teachers deserve to be paid more—a lot more—but teachers don’t choose to become teachers for the money, and most don’t quit because of the money, either. It’s the issues that make the wages not worth it.

One of those issues is a lack of recognition that teachers are actually highly skilled professionals. “Paying teachers like we are professionals would go a long way,” says Bonny D., an educator in Idaho, “but really it's about trusting us to be able to do our work. Many teachers have Master's degrees or have been teaching for many years, but still aren't listened to or considered experts when it comes to helping students succeed.”

Jessica C. has taught middle and high school English in three different states and resigned in December. She says she loved working with kids and designing curriculum, but she finally left after seeing more and more teacher autonomy get stripped away as standardized testing became the primary focus.

“Despite my years of experience across multiple states and my two graduate degrees in education, I felt like nobody with any real power believed I was actually competent at my job,” she says. “I saw evidence that my students were growing as readers and writers, but at the end of the day the only thing that mattered was hitting a certain number on those state assessments. It was really disheartening to feel like nothing else mattered but that test, and that even though the test itself doesn't resemble any real-world reading or writing skills in any way, it was supposed to be the focus of all of my instruction.

“But let's not forget,” she added, “I also wasn't allowed to look at it at all or even really know what was on it or how it would be scored.”

California elementary school teacher Ann B. shared a similar sentiment: “Teaching over the past decade has lost its charm and sparkle. So many mandates, broken systems, top-down management from people who haven’t spent much time in the classroom made it difficult.“

Sarah K. teaches high school history and AP psychology in Tennessee. Unlike most of the teachers I spoke to, she is having one of the best school years of her career, but she shares concern for the state of public education in general. “I think a lot of teachers feel attacked and are afraid and are feeling like the job can't be done anymore,” she told me. “As a society, we have lost our ability to trust each other, and it is manifesting itself in not trusting teachers to teach, do their jobs and follow our hearts to love and inspire kids.”

In addition to micromanagement from administrators, classroom control from legislators and demonization from parents, I had two teachers share with me that they’d been through a school shooting. ESL teachers from different states shared that their school districts refused to put resources toward programs that would help their students succeed and basically told them that those students didn’t matter. Other teachers feel like their own lives don’t even matter.

“A teacher passed away from COVID in January in a different building,” says Jenn M., a 14-year veteran teacher from Pennsylvania. “The kids had the day off. The teachers came in and had no directive of what to do. We got tested for COVID, and that was it. I literally feel like if I die, nobody in the district would care about me. I want to feel important and impactful at work.”

And then there's the mental load that has always existed for teachers but has definitely been exacerbated by the pandemic. Teaching is not 8:00 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. with the summers and holiday breaks off. That’s just not how it works; not for any teacher I’ve ever known. And it's taxing work on every level. You’re working with dozens if not hundreds of kids every day. You care about them and their well-being, you’re trying to teach them whatever your subject is but also helping nurture them into fully functional human beings. You have constantly changing expectations coming from every side.

“Teaching is all-encompassing,” says an elementary school teacher from New Mexico who wishes to remain anonymous. “It is seriously draining emotionally and physically. It's not just a job that is easily turned off at the end of the day when you go home.

“Everything falls on the teachers,” she adds. “We are stuck in a no-win situation in the middle of a societal crisis. Schools have been pushing higher academics at earlier ages and the need to teach basic social skills, norms and niceties is higher than ever. Our roles and the demands on us are just increasing.”

Bonny D. agrees. “There is a mental load that goes with teaching,” she says. “It's very difficult to specifically identify. It's the workload, it's the constant changing of what's required of us as legislation changes, it's the restrictions on what we can teach, the expectation that we will work outside of the paid contract hours, the fact that it's easier to go to work sick than make sub plans, it's micromanaging teenagers, doing extra things in the school with no extra pay, the low morale created by parents who want to dictate what we do in the classroom without ever discussing it with us or volunteering in the classroom themselves.”

And so much of what's expected of teachers is self-contradictory, as Jessica C. points out in a bullet list summary of what teachers have been asked to do over the past few years:

- Differentiate your instruction for every child, but don't deviate from what the textbook says to teach.

- Teach directly from the textbook, word for word and page for page whenever possible, but also spend hours of your time designing a unit plan (even though one is provided in the textbook company's supplementary materials).

- Turn in detailed weekly lesson plans, even though we really just want you to turn the page and read what it says every day.

- Hold every child to high expectations and keep all your instruction and assessment on grade level, but make sure none of them fail, even if they come into your room drastically below grade level.

- Attend regular PLC meetings, but the principal is going to set the agenda and run the whole meeting and you won't really be asked to contribute anything at all. (Again, we're going to ignore that year-long training you got in your last district about the PLC model and just assume you don't know that we're deviating from the model completely.)

- You should be focusing on instruction, not wasting a minute of class time, but we're also going to expect you to collect T-shirt order forms, and fundraiser money, and take your kids down to the cafeteria for school pictures, and fill in for colleagues on your planning period. Oh, and you'll have to stay late several times a grading period so that you can work the gates at athletic events, because your professional performance review will be based on how much you gave to the school above and beyond your job description and contractual obligations.

The pandemic, of course, has made everything worse. Teachers have borne the brunt of all the upheaval in education, not only in having to completely change the way they teach and implement new technologies overnight, but also in dealing with the emotional and developmental challenges their students are facing throughout all of this. The pandemic has also exacerbated and highlighted issues of inequity in education that were already there.

Catlin G. is an intervention specialist who has taught for 18 years, primarily in schools in under-resourced communities. She says that what many districts are now dealing with—attendance and staffing issues, high variability in children's academic growth, a lack of resources—are all too familiar to her and the students she has worked with.

"The pandemic drew a lot of attention to the role of education, but much of it has been focused on issues such as CRT or masking, which have deflected from bigger, long-term problems in schools, such as low literacy rates and crumbling infrastructure. I hope that people don't simply forget about education issues once their kids no longer have to wear masks to school, and begin to think about how we can make education better for all kids."

Some teachers cite student behavioral issues as contributing to their burnout, but most of the teachers I heard from held on in the classroom as long as they felt they could for their students' sake. After all, teachers generally go into teaching because they love kids and want to work with them.

“I never wanted to leave," an elementary school teacher from Washington who quit this year told me. "I cried with my students during my last week in the classroom. Their outpouring of love and understanding melted my heart. I had never felt so conflicted in a decision because I loved the students and my job.”

Between the pandemic throwing classroom teaching into chaos, parents and legislators dictating how and what teachers teach, and increasing assessments and top-down administration creating micromanagement issues, teachers feel like they aren't able to do the jobs they love and signed up for. They're not quitting because they hate teaching—they're quitting because they can't teach under these conditions. It's tragic, truly, and it's up to all of us to throw our support behind educators to stem the crisis a mass exodus of teachers will lead to.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

From Your Site Articles
partnerships

5 ways people are going "all in" this week

From the silliest to the most sentimental, there are so many ways people are going “all in” on the internet this week. Here are our five favorites.

True

There's something truly special about watching someone go "all in." This could mean throwing an elaborately themed birthday party for a Chihuahua (see below) or something a little simpler, like surprising someone with a long-anticipated birthday present. Whatever it is, going "all in" means total commitment—no holding back, no second-guessing, just passion and full-throttle enthusiasm. It means being fully present in the moment and creating something truly special as a result.

In this roundup, we’ve scoured the internet for the best examples of people going all in—those moments where passion, creativity, and total commitment take center stage. Some are silly, some are sentimental, but all of them are a reminder that giving 100% is the only way to truly leave a mark on this world. Buckle up—these folks didn’t just show up, they went all in.

1. The guy who learned Mandarin to propose

@yinrun_hello He secretly learned Chinese to Propose 😭😭😭 #fiance #proposal #engagement #love ♬ pluto projector - ☆

Talk about commitment. Getting married is the ultimate example of being "all in," but this guy takes it to a whole other level. Shared to social media by content creator Yinrun Huang, the emotional video captures a marriage proposal that's completely in Mandarin from a non-native speaker. That's right—this guy learned a whole language (and executed it pretty well) to win his girlfriend's hand in marriage. Not only are the words beautiful, his dedication is, too.

2. Kid-approved snacks that help local communities  

It’s scientifically proven that kids are brutally honest, unfiltered, and don’t hold back—which is why our friends at All In couldn’t resist sitting down with this group and getting their honest opinion. Are these snack bars really that good?

The Bite Size Board has spoken—and they’re all in. Not only are these snack bars delicious, they’re also an easy way to help people in need: Every time you buy a bar, 2% goes to a community to help them get fresh food.

Want to try these Board-approved treats? Snag a free box by signing up with your phone number on Aisle. Then grab two boxes of All In bars at Sprouts, snap a picture of your receipt, and text it through Aisle. They’ll Venmo or PayPal you back for the cost of one box. Easy and delicious.

3. This Chihuahua’s extravagant birthday bash

@phoebeparsons__ Tell me you’re a DINK family without telling me #chihuahua #dink #mexican ♬ EVERLASTING LOVE - GROWS

Do you love your dog? Would you throw a birthday party for them? How about a full-out celebration in a Mexican restaurant that includes banners, party hats, and the entire restaurant serenading him? Yeah, we thought not. These pet owners are absolutely "all in" on this dog's birthday, and we love to see it. Not only is this celebration extravagant and clearly well thought-out, people in the comments section are jokingly pointing out that taking a Chihuahua to a Mexican restaurant is a nod to the dog's cultural heritage. If that was intentional, this might be the best dog birthday party we've ever seen.

4. Truly unhinged (and maybe true?) Taylor Swift theories

@grindcitymedia did taylor swift drop super bowl hints? 😲 #swifties #nfl #taylorswift ♬ original sound - grindcitymedia

OK, whether you love Taylor Swift or not, you have to admit that her fans (known as “Swifties”) have an incredible commitment to the fandom (and an eye for detail). Case in point: Last week on her boyfriend’s podcast, Taylor announced the upcoming release of her new album, The Life of a Showgirl. The news was responsible for breaking the internet, and also for spurring a ton of fan theories about the future album and her future performances. In case you didn’t know, Swift is famous for dropping “Easter eggs” that hint at things she’ll be doing in the future, such as when she kept flashing peace signs and dropping the number 2 in her instagram posts in the weeks leading up to her double album “The Tortured Poets Department” in April 2024. This time, Swifties have taken to social media to discuss potential Easter eggs that were hidden throughout her podcast appearance. The latest theory? Her constant references to sourdough bread were actually Easter eggs hinting at a 2027 Super Bowl Halftime performance. Only time will tell if that's accurate, but the enthusiasm, the attention to detail, and the hours of research that must have gone into all these fan theories is truly something to behold.

5. This dirt bike birthday surprise 

@dmndboys_

This is why I look forward to fatherhood 🔥

♬ original sound - dmndboys_

These parents didn't give their kid a birthday present—they gave him the best birthday present of all time. Not only did the setup require a lot of thought and planning, but check out this kid's reaction. You can tell this was something he'd been wanting for a long time. Going "all out" and getting such a great response in return—it's something amazing to see.


Snag your free (!!) snack bars here while this deal lasts.

@maplespetdinosaur/Instagram

The kids are alright!

The ‘90s/’00s music scene, especially genres like emo, pop-punk, and nu-metal, have been making a comeback—since the peak of COVID 19, really. Which makes a lot of sense. These styles originally emerged from a time of political and social upheaval as a way for young people to process what insanity was happening all around them and find a healthy way to let out their rage. This music still serves that purpose today, but with the added nostalgic effect of an “old-school” feel.

One teen band, called Maple’s Pet Dinosaur, has perfectly captured this gritty, retro vibe, not just in their now mega-viral song, “Lego,” but in the way they shot their music video…which just so happened to be filmed entirely on a neighbor's ring camera.

In the video, we see lead singer Maple Johns asking though the camera, “is it okay if we use your ring to make a music video, please?” to which the homeowner reluctantly replies, “Uh…yeah I guess…” (Is this part staged? Who knows? Who cares! It adds an awesome touch)

The band then immediately rocks out to a snippet from their song, which very much aligned with their ‘90s inspirations, which include Faith No More, Beastie Boys, and L7.

Watch:

Wasn’t that rad? Having it filmed via the ring cam gives such a fish-eye lens vibe, which all of us olds know is very apropos for the vibe they were going for. Many were even reminded of punk rock icons like Paramore and Avril Lavigne.

All in all, the video left viewers inspired for the future.

“Kids these days, you absolutely have to love their ingenuity. This generation rocks.”

“This gives me hope about the next generation of music. I legitimately enjoyed this song. And I can’t wait to see the whole video.”

'90s, band, music video, music, kids, pop punk Music video shot in fish-eye lens. media4.giphy.com

“Kids making garage bands a thing again is making this year a little better for me.”

In the comments section, the band shared that, like a lot of teens during lockdown, they began watching—and falling in love with— 90s/00s music videos, and were definitely trying to tap into that aesthetic for their own music. Mission accomplished.

'90s, gen alpha, kids, teens, cool, kids, alright The kids are all alright. media0.giphy.com

Pop-punk music has always been a distinct blend of catchy, dance-able (or at least headbang-able) beats paired with pretty emotionally raw lyrics depicting angst, heartbreak, and rebelling against the status quo. “Lego” certainly follows suit, as Johns said the song is a “bully diss track.”

“It’s for anyone who’s ever felt targeted and wants to fight back. A lot of songs about this topic are ‘in your feelings’ type ballads but I wanted to deliver a bully-beat down, a heavy ‘f*** you’ to anyone out there who tries to kill another person’s vibe and confidence. Writing this song gave me the strength to set boundaries and find my own people. Now I want to build that community further through this music.” (Life without Andy)

Just when you thought rock was dead, the kids prove they’ve got it handled. Give “Lego” a listen on Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes, and more.

Canva

A kid gets teased by classmates. Union Jack and American flags.

According to a meme making the rounds on social media, if you playfully mock your friends, you're "300 percent" more likely to be honest, loyal and have deeper bonds with them. But here's the catch. That number seems to have been pulled from thin air, as no one can find an actual source for that statistic.

What IS true, however, is that some researchers do believe that playful teasing can be a good thing. In his article for Psychology Today, Dr. Peter Gray Ph.D cites psychologist Dacher Keltner who claims teasing is "an intentional provocation accompanied by playful off-record markers that together comment on something relevant to the target."

But what was especially interesting about this false data making the rounds was how differently people responded to it. In particular, Americans and Brits/Aussies seemed to have very different points-of-view, at least on this Instagram thread.


Gray suggests that teasing amongst the people closest to you can take the form of showing someone you accept them despite their flaws. It can also serve as means to humble one another, encourage positive change and even test the boundaries of the relationship. "Teasing can be a sign of affection, a constructive form of criticism, or a cruel put-down. It can also be a semi-competitive verbal game, in which the players are testing one another’s abilities to keep cool in response to provocation and provide clever responses."

teasing, playful, joking, friendships An animated girl teases someone. Giphy

It's also noted how vital it is that the person on the receiving end of the "tease" understands the assignment. If their perception of the "jokes" is negative, or they're feeling sensitive, (particularly if there are third-party witnesses) the teasing slips quickly into bullying. In the study, "The Role of a Bystander in Targets’ Perceptions of Teasing Among Friends: Are You Really Teasing Me?" researchers Ildo Kim and Nicholas A. Palomares note, "Given the provocation goals involved in teasing, being teased in the presence of a third party could be undesirable to a target. The target’s response can differ depending on who the third party is (e.g., another close friend, an acquaintance, a stranger)."


After posting two women citing this stat on the @longevityxlab, the comment section was off to the races.

A handful of people pushed back against the notion, some simply writing, "No." One, (and we can't completely confirm that this person is American) writes, "I really doubt this in most cases. I have a doctorate in clinical psychology that I earned 4 decades ago. Saying hurtful things to one another is just hurtful. I think men pretend to be comfortable with it because it seems 'manly.' There are so many positive things to say to people we love. Maybe these friends are LOYAL to the friends who passively allow them to poke fun at them. I’d like to see the research."

Referring to the naysayers, one writes, "I’m assuming most of the comments are from Americans. In Britain we know this to be true. You only rip the piss out of your closest friends."

This commenter concurs. "Indeed I’m a Brit who lives in Australia. If I’m nice to you we have a problem."

This one gets more specific. "If mates don’t call you a K--b-head or a B-----d at least once when you are in their company, are they even friends?"

Of course, it's not just Brits and Aussies. People from all over the world including those from France, Brazil and Ireland commented that they essentially see playful teasing as their love language, as well. Obviously not ALL, and plenty of Americans take part in ribbing one another.

Ricky Gervais discusses American vs. British humor. www.youtube.com

But what can be confirmed is that many Brits truly enjoy the "insult" play. It's just a thing they often do. In the op-ed "The Difference Between American and British Humour" for Time Magazine, comedian Ricky Gervais writes of his fellow Brits, "We tease our friends. We use sarcasm as a shield and a weapon. We avoid sincerity until it’s absolutely necessary. We mercilessly take the piss out of people we like or dislike basically. And ourselves. This is very important. Our brashness and swagger is laden with equal portions of self-deprecation. This is our license to hand it out."

He further assures Americans, "This can sometimes be perceived as nasty if the recipients aren’t used to it. It isn’t. It’s play fighting. It’s almost a sign of affection if we like you, and ego bursting if we don’t. You just have to know which one it is."

Credit: Condé Nast (through Vogue Taiwan)

Prepare to get Thatcherized.

Adele has a face that is chiseled into the public's mind. She's been a global icon for two decades with a number of mega hit albums and songs. But this photo might be the most unforgettable of all. Perhaps you’ve seen the image in question previously (it seems to make the rounds every couple of years). But in case you missed it—it’s Adele’s face. Normal, just upside down.

Only it’s not normal. In fact, when you turn Adele’s face right side up, what you notice is that her eyes and mouth were actually right-side up THE ENTIRE TIME, even though the entire head was upside down. So when you turn the head right side up, the eyes and mouth are now UPSIDE-DOWN—and you can’t unsee it. Do you feel like you're Alice in Wonderland yet?

Just wait. Things get even more fascinating. Especially because this optical illusion is over 40 years in the making.

Below you’ll find the Adele photo in question. Go ahead. Take a look at it. Then turn the image upside down.


adele, thatcher effect, psychology Can't. Unsee.scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net

Crazy right? And just a little terrifying?

As the Facebook post explains, this mind-boggling image highlights a phenomenon known as the Thatcher effect. Our brains, so much more used to recognizing faces that are right-side up, have difficulty detecting specific changes once a face is upside down.

margaret thatcher, colleage of thatcher photos, thatcher effect Image manipulation illustrating the Thatcher effect. Rob Bogaerts Image manipulation: Phonebox

Seeing that everything is more or less where it should be, our brains don’t notice anything out of the ordinary in Adele’s face until we turn her face back to a normal position.

The Thatcher effect got its name from British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, on whose photograph it was first demonstrated back in 1980 by Peter Thompson, Professor of Psychology at York University.

This demonstration was one of the first to explore just how facial recognition works, and certainly the first to suggest that humans (and monkeys, it turns out) process faces on a more holistic level, rather than by individual components like lips and eyes. There's even evidence that rhesus monkeys and chimpanzees experience the Thatcher effect, meaning it may have deep roots in the evolutionary biology of mammals.

Since its publication, there has been a wealth of research exploring how our brain takes in both subtle and striking facial configurations.


- YouTube www.youtube.com


Funny enough, it was once believed that this illusion only worked on the Prime Minister’s face. But as Adele has proven, anyone can be Thatcherized.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

Heroes

Woman with terminal brain tumor shares her truly inspiring outlook on finding meaning in life

"Pretty soon, all the beautiful days stacked up into a beautiful life."

Photo Credit: Amber Stratton

A woman is living her best life, despite terminal health issues.

Amber Stratton had her world turn upside down nearly five years ago. She was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer and she fought it with every tool in the proverbial medical tool box. After chemo and a double mastectomy, it remained—so she did it again, along with radiation, and was finally deemed cancer-free in early 2022.

That is until two months later when she was told she had a terminal brain tumor. Her prognosis? About two years to live. But there has been something inside of her, despite such a scary diagnosis, that drives her to grab every day and fill it up to the brim with joy. She lives each day as fully as she doubling down on wearing pink and going all in on motorsports.

Amber Stratton, brain tumor, living life, positive thinking, cancer Amber Stratton stays extremely active in the face of health issues. Phtoto Credit: Reddit, Amber Stratton

Upworthy first reached out to Stratton last November via Reddit after she posted "Yearly post, 3 years into terminal brain tumor. Beating the odds and loving life!" She (like many) didn't realize there was a direct messaging system on the site but responded just last week with the subject header, "I'm still alive, woo hoo!"

We had the honor of talking to her about how she's doing and, more specifically, how she has trained herself to live in a present state with true grace that makes all the past hardships and future prognoses seem blurry in comparison to the crystal clarity of what this exact moment holds.

Stratton encourages others facing similar battles on Reddit, in particular commenting on a post to someone struggling with positivity. She writes, "A friend of mine I met in a support group told me to just 'live a beautiful day and then another.'"

We asked her about this and she responded, "I started telling myself I wanted to live a beautiful day and then another and pretty soon all the beautiful days stacked up into a beautiful life."

She says this way of thinking anchors her. "It helped me focus on the day in front of me and not worry about the future or things outside of my control. And on those days, I told myself I would do something I loved, something for someone else, or learn something new each day. I gotta tell you that’s been a blast and I think a fun way to live."

When asked for specifics on the new things she's tried, Stratton reeled off a list of exciting ventures. "I started riding stand-up jet skis shortly after the brain tumor and fell in love. Then tried snowmobiles and got to build a vintage snowmobile with my husband this winter and race it on ice 100 miles, which was super fun. I plan to race this winter too. And I got into riding dirt bikes and rock climbing. My husband taught me to weld, which was challenging since I have vision loss, haha, but I’m getting the hang of it. And I bought a 1971 Chevy I’m learning to put an engine in. We’re doing an LS swap."

Amber Stratton, cancer, brain tumor, best life, gratitude. Amber Stratton poses with her Chevy truck and dog. Photo Credit: Amber Stratton

She also discusses how her diagnosis has helped her sift through what really matters: time and how we spend it. "I spent time traveling with my mom and fishing with my boys and… just living."

This doesn't mean she lacks awareness of what's going on in her body; her reality gives her perspective. "Cancer changes you and being aware that you're living with a ticking time bomb in your head gives you perspective. I have two boys who are now 7 and 9 and I want them to see me as someone who didn’t give up, no matter what the odds. And even if my body shuts down eventually, I won’t let the cancer take my spirit and who I am while I’m here. Then the cancer wins and I’m so much more than cancer. I’m going out living full and if I live a long time well, then heck yeah it will be an awesome ride!"

Most of the time we're left in the dark as to how a job interview went.

So much of job hunting often feels like putting a ton of energy out into the ether. You have no idea if your resume is getting looked at, you never hear back after sending out application after application, and you end up wondering if the job you applied for even really exists. Even if you do make it to an interview, there’s rarely any feedback that comes after it, let alone a job offer.

Well, one job candidate did receive some post-interview feedback—albeit by accident—and it raised a dilemma about what to do next.

On Reddit, the candidate explained that after logging off of a Zoom interview, which they thought went pretty well, they noticed that the company they applied to unwittingly sent them not only a full rundown on the interview (including their thoughts on the job candidate), but a to-do list for the week as well.

job hunting, job interview, interview tips, finding a job, job tips, finding a job "I wonder if I just need to kick it up a notch?!”Photo credit: Canva

Much to their surprise, the company wrote that the OP “lacked energy” and was “more subdued” than other candidates.

“I suppose it’s not the worst feedback but it sucks to hear I don’t have this “energy” they’re looking for. I’m always super calm in interviews and generally laid back, so I wonder if I just need to kick it up a notch?!” they wrote.

In a “spicy update,” this person gave even more context alongside a surprising discovery: they noticed that there was also a video of their conversation. In it, the executive director actually commended this person for their "chillness." The other newly hired director, however, was the one that remarked that the OP’s communication skills "felt like pulling teeth." Only then did the executive director have a change of heart, saying their "energy was muted."

Then there was talk of which restaurant to eat at for a team dinner, and the difficulties of getting a dog sitter. Wow.

job hunting, job interview, interview tips, finding a job, job tips, finding a job “I suppose it’s not the worst feedback but it sucks to hear" media4.giphy.com

To make matters more complicated, this person was still invited to an in-person interview, which left them wondering, “Do I just pretend I didn’t see the recap and change up my personality for this next meeting?! Has anyone else accidentally received feedback after an interview?”

Turns out, similar situations have happened to several people.

"This actually happened to me a couple of months ago. I was the only woman among three men interviewing for the same role. An interviewer accidentally sent me all our feedback. It was interesting to catch his bias because what he criticized me for, he praised in another candidate. It was a blessing in disguise because I thought I was coming across as thoughtful and measured, but his comments were that I was 'meek.' Where I was 'hesitant,' the other candidate 'put thought into it.’ Mind you, this guy didn’t ask any questions and said he knew nothing about the job. It was on me to ask him questions, and he was going to judge based on that. WTF. I was (and am) annoyed by it, but it was an interesting lesson."

"This happened to a friend of mine in 2021. I said, consider it free career advice. He did, addressed the points, and landed a better job."

"I’ve had this happen to me. They put me on hold on Zoom and started chatting with each other about me in the chat box. They didn’t exclude me from it, so I saw everything. Luckily, it was all good things, but I didn’t like the unprofessionalism in that."

"This happened to me once! The feedback was generally very positive, but there were some technical questions I stumbled a bit on. I knew I did this during the interview, too, so it was a fairly good representation of how I thought I did. I did take a job there, and they definitely knew they accidentally sent it (and were mortified)! I brought it up regularly in good fun and likely during the in-person interview because that’s who I am."

For some, the “feedback” they got was even more outrageous than noting lackluster energy.

job hunting, job interview, interview tips, finding a job, job tips, finding a job "They put me on hold on Zoom and started chatting with each other about me in the chat box." media4.giphy.com

"This happened to me once, but the feedback was, 'She seems great, but has a HUGE gap in her teeth.' I can confirm I do have a gap in my front teeth, but it's similar to Madonna's. It was so bizarre. I sent a very snarky response back telling them that they should contact HR about a course in professionalism and asked to be withdrawn from the application process."

"I know someone who was immediately fired for accidentally sharing a notes document on interview candidates that had details about age relative to the other candidates. The candidate saw that the note about them said something like 'older.' They sued the company and won."

By and large, people suggested that the OP definitely use the information to their advantage, but advise against trying to get in with a company that would make such egregious offenses.

That said, the OP ended up getting their “dream job” before that second interview, so it’s probably all a dodged bullet.