upworthy

Friendship

kristidjohnsonfam/Instagram

Woman surprised by friends for 50th birthday with stay in her late mom's house.

Childhood friendships can never be replicated. Years of memories and going through the highs and lows of life together create an irreplaceable bond.

And Instagrammer Kristi Johnson (@kristijohnsonfam) is lucky to have the same group of friends since she was in 7th grade. To celebrate her 50th birthday, they rallied around her and gave her the surprise of a lifetime–a weekend stay in her mom's old house, who passed away from cancer in 2021.

"That time I turned 50 and my mom had died of cancer...so my childhood friends did the most thoughtful thing...they reserved my mom's ACTUAL house for us to stay in for my bday weekend," she wrote in the video's caption.

In the video, Kristi shares an image of her mom at the house from 2021 before she passed away from cancer. Fast forward to 2025, the home has been re-painted and re-done as an Airbnb property.

"My sister has turned our Mom's house into an Airbnb and WE would be the very first guests," she wrote, showing off the home's interior. A highlight is a stunning portrait photograph of her mom during her younger years that hangs on a wall in the living room in her memory.

She continues, "All my friends arrived to to spend the weekend at my mom's house...just like we used to." As she films, her friends come streaming into the home for her special birthday weekend. Kristi shares some throwback photos of herself with her girlfriends, one from a school dance from 1992 and another group cheerleading picture from 1986.

"I've had the same friends since 7th grade and they thought of everything for my 50th birthday," she writes as a photo of herself posing in front of the home is shown. "They had all our favorite childhood snacks at my party weekend. They had bday crowns and tiaras for me. We haven't changed a bit."

And viewers loved the wholesome video. "You are the richest woman in the world surrounded by all that love♥️❤️♥️," one wrote. Another commented, "OMG! I would have fell out crying every time a friend came through the door they would have had to pick my up from the floor. This is beautiful ♥️." And another added, "I’d watch this feel good movie 🥹♥️." And another viewer wrote, "You are blessed to experience such lifelong supportive friendships spanning over 4 decades."

Kristi has shared more about her mom in a number of other videos. She was a selfless woman who was determined to make it to her 70th birthday--which she did, celebrating the milestone on January 1, 2021. Her mom was also incredibly kind and caring. In another video, she shared that during her cancer battle, she encouraged Kristi to get a knee surgery she had been putting off just so she could help take care of her afterwards.

"She slept in a chair beside me at night. She cleaned and cooked for two whole days despite her own pain," she shared. "I snapped pictures of her, fearing it would be the last time she stayed at my house."

Unfortunately, it was. "She was gone a few months later," she added. In her honor, her family threw her a party rather than a traditional funeral. "We covered an event hall with all her beautiful pictures and all her art she created. I used all my mom's recipes and made all her favorite foods she was known for. She taught us to care for others...hope we are making her proud."

Joy

'Making everyone feel included': 14 of the most 'attractive' social skills you can have

"A very underrated one is being able to make the person you are talking to feel good/smart about themselves."

A man and woman hitting it off on a date.

When people talk about those with excellent social skills, we often say they are charismatic, have a way with people, or were born with the gift of gab. They may have an “infectious energy” or be able to talk to anyone. It can often seem like these are innate qualities that someone is born with, but they are also skills most can learn.

One of the easiest ways to become more sociable is to improve your listening skills. Studies show that people who are great at listening ask genuine questions, are attentive, and pay attention to body language. Also, by presenting positive body language, you can give the impression to others that you are more approachable and are intently listening to what the other person is saying.

That being said, some barriers make it harder for some people to develop excellent social skills. A lot of it has to do with how they were raised. “Learning social skills can be difficult if you weren’t exposed to traditional group dynamics as a child, if you struggle with a mental illness like anxiety or depression, or even if you just didn’t have a lot of positive role models when you were growing up,” Eric Ravenscraft writes for The New York Times.

conversation, attractive social skills, great conversationalistTwo women having a great converation. via Canva/Photos

Another way to improve one’s social skills is to find what other people find attractive, not just in a romantic sense, but what makes them enjoyable to be around. A Redditor on the Social Skills subforum asked people what the “most attractive “social skill” and people sounded off the things that make people a pleasure to talk to and be around.

Here are 14 of the “most attractive” social skills.

1. Making everyone feel included

"Being able to make everyone feel included. I am a bit of an anxious mess sometimes, and I LOVE the type of person that just makes you feel accepted/included/ a part of the group."

2. Appropriate amount of eye contact

"Not afraid to break eye contact, but not too long enough to make the other person feel uncomfortable. Not being afraid to open up or tell something vulnerable."

"Knowing how to break away eye contact is never emphasized. Like, aren't people aware that intense eye contact looks psychopathic, creepy, or disturbing?"

3. They make people feel smart

"A very underrated one is being able to make the person you are talking to feel good/smart about themselves. I had a few mentors that did this. Anytime I’d say something, they would make me feel smart/good by responding, 'Yes, you are totally right,' or something along those lines. Of course, it needs to be genuine, but you can tell the difference in how people react. Also, if you know someone has knowledge about something, asking them questions about is great too."


conversation, attractive social skills, great conversationalistA man and woman having a great conversaion.via Canva/Photos

4. Being a good listener

"Being a good listener. I don't mean by just nodding and agreeing with the person and forgetting what they've told you or submitting yourself to a ranter because you're a people pleaser. I mean when someone makes you feel comfortable speaking, they ask questions, they engage, etc. Extra bonus if the speaker is also a listener and hasn't had anyone else to listen to them because others just use them."

"Women have this joke about 'Let a man speak for ten minutes and he’ll think he’s in love with you' but there’s reasons for that lol. For one thing, so many people are terrible listeners, so it is genuinely attractive. They’ve probably just never shut up for more than a few minutes in their life before. l And the other is that men are so deprived for healthy interactions like this where the other person actually cares about what they’re saying, that it genuinely means a lot to them because it’s so rare."

5. Laughing on cue

"As an awkward person, letting someone else take over the conversation while I smile and nod has never failed me."

6. Being funny

Humorous people aren't just fun to be around; studies show that when both men and women read someone's dating profile, those who are funny are more attractive. Research has found that one of the most important reasons is that funny people signal adaptability and creative problem-solving—traits crucial for maintaining long-term relationships. "In this sense, humor isn’t just about making people laugh—it may reflect an individual’s ability to approach challenges with flexibility and innovation, key traits for navigating a relationship’s ups and downs," Brian Collisson Ph.D. writes at Psychology Today.

7. A free-thinker

"Anyone who is able to unapologetically separate themselves from the Hive-Mind. It’s so easy to get caught up in the crowd and develop thoughts, opinions, and ideas of those you surround yourself with. So, anyone with the ability to objectively approach any situation, topic, or person without immediate judgement and rationally decipher thru all the bullsh*t regardless of what others may think or say…extremely attractive…and rare."

8. A good dancer

"I was going to say partner dancing lol. I've been learning to salsa dance at a social dance club near me, and it's been a blast. Have loved it so far."

"There’s a lot of communication and give and take going on in salsa dancing and other traditional Latin dances that are invisible to the naked eye. Definitely adds like 10 points if you’re good at it lol."


9. Soothing tone of voice

"People sometimes think connecting is about so many specifics: these particular words, that length of eye contact, some sort of posture etc. When, in fact, what people are MOST affected by is your tone of voice. If you're able to convey WARMTH you can win over 95 percent of people. I would define warmth as friendliness, extending an invitation with your voice, ACCEPTING people using your tone, and kind of an inherent confidence while doing that. It's something that I call a 'Vocal Hug.' Once you know how to do this, almost everything else falls into place."

10. True charisma

"You won’t get an answer 'cause it’s not something that can be described in words, just a feeling. When you’re there you know and when it’s done to you you know."

"It’s so obscure, but we all recognize it when we meet someone that has it. It’s a feeling. It’s all psychological."

11. Easy banter

"I love banter. I love an easy back-and-forth that doesn’t feel caustic or uncomfortable the way that teasing sometimes does, where you have to guess or overthink whether that comment was meant to push at your boundaries or not."


conversation, attractive social skills, great conversationalistA man and woman having a fun conversation.via Canva/Photos

12. They're great 'explainers'

"For me, the most attractive social skill is the ability to explain something confidently in a way that makes everyone listen and understand."

13. Good words on a bad day

"Having nice words left despite being in a bad mood. Everyone knows following situation: Someone comes to work with a bad mood, starts getting mad about the smallest stuff, colleagues get pissed because they get yelled at for the smallest stuff and suddenly everyone is is pissed at each other. I have big respect for people that can be surrounded by such negativity and still find the time to give a smile, compliments and ask how you're doing."

14. They enjoy silence

"The people who don’t rush to fill every silence or feel the need to are AMAZING …. I wish one day i’ll meet someone i can enjoy silence with."

"Comfortable silences are always greatly appreciated. Conversation can be great and helpful at passing the time, but it’s a healthy sign that one is mentally/emotionally mature enough to realize that neither need to be constantly entertained like children. It can also indicate a person who genuinely enjoys being around you and is comforted by your presence."

"Facts. Silence isn’t awkward unless you make it awkward."


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Joy

Harvard expert's 5-3-1 rule is the key to a healthy social life

How much time should you spend with your friends?

Some long-time friends on vacation.

In a world where we must keep busy to survive, it can be easy to neglect our social lives. This becomes even harder as we age and our friends have families and more responsibilities. Once you hit your 30s, the friends you saw every few days can quickly become people you only see a few times a year.

Friendships need to be nurtured to keep moving forward. If not, one day, our closest friends will begin to feel like strangers. Sadly, this is a common occurrence, and studies show that as people age, their circle of friends becomes smaller and smaller. This is one of the many factors contributing to what's known as the "loneliness epidemic." Studies show that one in three Americans report feeling lonely regularly, and one in four has no social and emotional support at all.

Further, in a world with Netflix, video games, and social media, it can be easy to be entertained without making plans, leaving the house, or spending time with anyone. But that shortcut could lead to waking up one day with very few people in your life. We know we need to get out there and be social, but what’s the correct amount of time we should spend hanging out?

gym friends, friends, selfiesFriends spending time at the gym. via Canva/Photos

Kasley Killam, a Harvard-trained social scientist and author of "The Art and Science of Connection," has made it easy with her simple 5-3-1 rule, a guideline for evaluating social health. "We need to be intentional about connection, just like we are with exercise and eating healthy foods," Killam told Business Insider.

What is the 5-3-1 rule?

(5) Spend time with FIVE different people a week

A 2022 Harvard Business School study found that the more “diverse” the group we socialize with, the happier we will be. That means we shouldn’t just spend time with our close friends and family members but grab a coffee with a friend from the gym or spend some time with an old friend you haven’t seen in years. As the song goes, “Make new friends but keep the old one is silver and the other’s gold.”

(3) Nurture at least THREE close relationships

Focus on nurturing three friendships every day, whether you text them or make plans to see each other. These are the people at the top of your phone list or who would be your emergency contacts.

(1) Have ONE quality hour of social connection a day

Make time every day to socialize with someone, whether by hopping on a phone call with a family member or going on a walk with a neighbor. "That doesn't have to be all at once," Killam said. " It could be 10 minutes here, 10 minutes there." The important rule Killam says is that the interaction has to be “meaningful.”

friends, photos, selfiesFriends spending time at the Redondo Beach pier. via Canva/Photos

Socializing is great for our happiness but can also help us live longer. A study of senior citizens found that the more people socialized, the longer they lived. Those who lived the longest took time to socialize with someone once a day.

Living by the 5-3-1 isn’t just for older people who need to get back into socializing. It’s great for younger people because it can strengthen their relationships and their mental health at the same time. You may be busy these days, but at the end of your life, you probably won’t remember that long day you spent at the office or a random Thursday stuck in traffic. But you will remember that walk you took with your friend when you needed someone to talk to or that night you stayed a little late at your bestie's house making vacation plans.

Three people having a polite chat at a party.

There are numerous reasons why some don’t like making small talk. There are those of us who don’t enjoy it because, usually, it means having to feign interest in boring topics. Others don’t like small talk because they get nervous around strangers and are either afraid they’ll say something that makes them look dumb or that there will be a lull in conversation that makes every second feel like a decade.

The problem is that small talk is a fantastic interpersonal skill that can significantly benefit your professional life and make it easier to build relationships. The good news is that Oliver N Mark, a Substack user, created an easy-to-use script called the FLIP method that makes it easy to have small talk with just about anyone. You just have to remember the acronym: FLIP.

What is the FLIP method?

Oliver N Mark says that instead of “freezing up and overthinking,” he can now start and “hold conversations without forcing anything.” Here’s the FLIP method explained:

F – From → Ask about their background (“You sound like you might be from the UK?”)

L – Location → Use the environment (“What brings you here?”)

I – Interests → Find common ground (“What’s something you could talk about for hours?”)

P – Personalise → Make them feel seen (“That’s a cool necklace; does it have a story?”)


From

Everyone is from somewhere, and people’s origins are a big part of their identity, so you'll never go wrong asking someone where they were born.

“You sound like you are from New York.”

“Are you from around here?”

“When did you move here, or were you always from Los Angeles?”

Location

Even if you just met someone, you both have something in common. You are in the same place. Use that to your advantage by asking some location-based questions.

“Do you come here often?”

“What do you think of the artwork at this place?”

“What brings you here?”



Interests

Everyone loves to talk about their hobbies, the things they follow, or they love to read about. When they start talking, be sure to practice active listening, as the conversation could take an entirely new direction at any moment.

“What could you talk about for days?”

“What’s the last book you’ve read?”

“What do you do in your spare time?”

Personalize

Everyone loves the unique feeling of being noticed. If you genuinely point out something unique about someone, they'll really appreciate the compliment.

“Those are some great-looking shoes. Where did you get them?”

“You have a soothing accent. Where are you from?”

“What’s the story behind your tattoo?”

Another popular method for making small talk, similar to Oliver N. Mark’s FLIP method, is the FORD method, which stands for Family, Occupation, Recreation, and Dreams.


How much should I listen versus talk in a conversation?

Also, it’s essential not to forget that one of the most important aspects of making great small talk is being a good listener. But how long should you listen versus talk? A 2016 study on sales calls published by Gong.io found that interactions in which the salesperson talked 43% of the time and listened 57% of the time had the highest sales yield. This is known as the 43:57 rule and is a great one to follow if you want to make a great impression on someone.

Mastering the art of small talk can be a massive game-changer for your personal and professional life. Hopefully, you will find that the FLIP and FORD methods help you have more relaxed, natural conversations. It’s a little tricky at first, but with a little practice, you should be able to turn small talk into meaningful conversations and joyful relationships.