upworthy

racial justice

Paul Scanlon shares his thoughts.

Racist jokes are one of the more frustrating manifestations of racism. Jokes in general are meant to be a shared experience, a connection over a mutual sense of humor, a rush of feel-good chemicals that bond us to those around us through laughter.

So when you mix jokes with racism, the result is that racism becomes something light and fun, as opposed to the horrendous bane that it really is.

The harm done with racist humor isn't just the emotional hurt they can cause. When a group of white people shares jokes at the expense of a marginalized or oppressed racial group, the power of white supremacy is actually reinforced—not only because of the "punching down" nature of such humor, but because of the group dynamics that work in favor of maintaining the status quo.

British author and motivational speaker Paul Scanlon shared a story about interrupting a racist joke at a table of white people at an event in the U.S, and the lessons he drew from it illustrate this idea beautifully. Watch:

Speaking up in a group setting where people have an unspoken sense of solidarity is difficult. Giving up social capital and being seen as a breaking a code of sorts is uncomfortable. But that difficulty and discomfort are not excuses for staying quiet. As Scanlon points out, our silence is not benign, it's malignant. Keeping quiet while a racist joke is being told and laughed at is harmful because it allows racism to go unchecked and white supremacy to remain secure.

racism, white supremacy, white solidarity, racial justice, anti-racism Anti-racist protest signs.Canva Photos.

An important point Scanlon makes is that not only do white folks allow harm to take place when we remain silent in the face of a friend, family member, colleague, or acquaintance making a racist joke, but we are actually rewarded for saying nothing. We maintain a sense of solidarity, we gain social capital, we're seen as agreeable and establish a sense of belonging. Those rewards are an insidious form of racism that many white people aren't even aware we participate in.

We have to decide ahead of time that we're going to give up that reward and embrace the inevitable awkwardness in order to do the right thing.

In a useful video based on her book Difference Matters: Communicating Social Identity, Professor Emerita of Communications and Vice Chancellor for Diversity and Inclusion at the University of Colorado Denver, Brenda J. Allen, PhD, breaks down how each of us can use our privilege—whether that's white privilege, gender privilege, financial privilege, education privilege, etc.—for the good of others. Watch:

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We have to decide that ending racism is more important than embarrassment. The more people who stand firm in that decision, the less awkward it will become and the sooner we can redefine what social capital and solidarity really mean.

This article originally appeared on 6.30.20. It has been updated.

Image courtesy of Styles4Kidz
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This article was originally published on 7/22/2020

If you aren't familiar with textured hair, it's hard to know how to style it properly. Similarly to how straight-haired people may not know that curly-haired people often don't use shampoo, people who don't have textured hair often have no clue what products to use to keep hair healthy or what hairstyles work best with different hair types.

That can be a problem when non-Black parents adopt Black kids. Hair is a significant cultural reality, and knowing how to manage one's hair is important. If parents are clueless about helping their kids with personal grooming, children will grow up missing out on that aspect of their personal identity.

Enter Styles4Kids, a non-profit organization founded by Tamekia Swint in 2010. Swint had helped a transracial adoptive mom learn how to style her three daughters' hair, and that mom began referred Swint to other adoptive parents. She founded Styles4Kids with just a handful of clients, and how helps thousands of parents and kids. The non-profit organization focuses on hair care education, training, and services for transracial adoptive parents as well as children in foster care, residential facilities and detention centers.

Great Big Story created a video about Swint and her organization that explains why helping kids with their natural hair is so important.

"Sometimes transracial adoptive families don't understand how important hair is," Swift says in the video. "It's much bigger than. hair. It's really about the care and the confidence that we're giving to the child through the hairstyle."

A white mom with six Black kids shared her own realization that her hair styling skills were not up to the challenge, and how Swint helped her gain the skills and confidence she needed to help her care for and style her kids' hair.

"I would want to tell other transracial adoptive parents that it is your job to make your kid look decent when you're out of the house, and if you can't do that naturally on your own—and most of us can't—then it's your job to seek out help from somebody who can teach you."

Styles4Kidz uses Facebook and Instagram to educate and encourage families to master hairstyles that boost kids’ self-esteem and cultural pride. Swint also leverages Facebook fundraisers to run a non-profit salon "where multiracial, foster and adoptive kids are empowered to embrace their natural, ethnic crown." Swint calls her services "Hair Care With Heart," fulfilling the organization's vision of building "a diverse community of people creating and celebrating hairstyles that boost kids' self-esteem and cultural pride."

Learn more about Styles4Kidz on the organization's website here.

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Courtesy of Anthony Sampson
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Anthony Sampson has understood the value of mentorship since he was a young man. Growing up in Houston, he had a mentor who helped him see the importance of volunteering and giving back to his community. By the time he graduated from college and settled in Dallas, he knew he wanted to share some of that wisdom and experience with the next generation.

That's why Sampson, an Allstate insurance agent for 38-years, co-founded 100 Black Men of Greater Dallas/Fort Worth more than 20 years ago and is still deeply involved, sitting on the board of directors. The organization matches Black male mentors with mostly young Black men to help them live up to their potential and contribute to society. By building character and producing leaders, 100 Black Men works toward improving the whole community.

"It means a lot to our mentees to see positive examples of Black men," Sampson shares. "I believe that 'What They See Is What They'll Be.' In fact, it's our organization's official motto."

According to Sampson, strong mentorship can help young people develop the skills they need "to understand how to deal with issues in life from a positive perspective." To date, the Dallas/Fort Worth chapter of 100 Black Men has mentored more than 1,500 young people.

Kynsington Hobbs is one of them. Now a senior in high school, Hobbs began a mentorship with Anthony Sampson when he was 13. He says working with Sampson changed his perspective of what success can look like in the African-American community, especially for kids who don't have dads in the picture.


"Seeing someone like this, a role model, who's showing you how to do the things the right way—how to tie a tie, for instance, or how to iron your suit pants, just the common things that we would think were normal for the average kid—often gets missed out in the African-American community."

Hobbs says attending a 100 Black Men conference several years ago helped him truly understand the organization's motto.

"Just seeing a bunch of successful black men, it really changed my narrative," says Hobbs.

Jackson Session describes his mentorship with Anthony Sampson with similar enthusiasm. Session first connected with 100 Black Men his junior year of high school when a school counselor recommended he join the organization's trivia bowl team. He began attending Saturday leadership meetings with Sampson, and eventually asked if he could intern in his Allstate office. Sampson hadn't hired a mentee before, but he took a chance.

Courtesy of Anthony Sampson

Session credits Sampson with teaching him to present himself professionally and with helping him get a scholarship from the national 100 Black Men of America organization.

"He went out of his way to make sure that I was well-connected and that I was taken care of because he knew that I was serious about my education," says Session, who is now a sophomore at Howard University, studying finance.

"I think mentorship in general is important because I think that growing up, especially now, we have a lot of outside influences," says Session. "Having somebody who genuinely cares about you to tell you the right way to get to what you want to do, I think that's important."

Sampson is one example of thousands of Allstate agents and employees making a difference in their communities. In addition to supporting agent and employee volunteerism, for almost 70 years, Allstate has supported communities through The Allstate Foundation, which partners with leading organizations and local nonprofits to address some of the most pressing issues facing society. The Foundation's efforts include empowering youth, breaking the cycle of domestic violence and supporting non-profit leaders, with an overarching purpose of advancing equity.

This Fall, in time for back-to-school season, The Allstate Foundation teamed up with education crowdfunding platform DonorsChoose to launch a new Racial Justice and Representation category on the site, making it easy for donors to help fund teacher's classroom projects focused on increasing diversity in curricula and creating a more inclusive environment. From buying books written by diverse authors to providing materials for anti-racism education, donors can directly support teachers working toward racial equity. The Allstate Foundation matched all donations to these projects for a total of $1.5 million. These funds support teachers who – like Sampson – are serving as positive mentors helping students succeed.

"Mentorship to me is really engaging with youth that need a path to success," Sampson says. "If I can get them to dream, I know that a dream will become a goal, and then that goal becomes a reality."

To support classroom projects that promote racial equity, go to DonorsChoose.


This article originally appeared on 06.28.21


After Ahmaud Arbery, an unarmed Black man, was pursued and shot by three white residents while jogging through a Georgia suburb, Ellen and Patrick Miller* of San Diego hung a Black Lives Matter flag in front of their house. It was a small gesture, but something tangible they could do.

Like many people, they wanted to both support the BLM movement and bring awareness about racism to members of their community. Despite residing in a part of the county notoriously rumored to be marred by white supremacists and their beliefs, their neighbors didn't say much about it—at first.

Recently, though, during a short window when both Ellen and Patrick were out of the house, someone sliced the flag in two and left the remains in their yard.

via Paula Fitzgibbons

They were upset, but not surprised.


"Nobody prior to May of 2020 said a word about our BLM flag," Ellen explains. "After George Floyd and the protesting started, we had about 50% positive interactions with our neighbors, quietly offering solidarity as they passed by on their morning and evening walks. Then 25% of interactions were a lot of older busybodies 'pearl clutching' and hoping that 'nobody takes this the wrong way and commits vandalism' against us." Then there were the men who would drive past and scream obscenities at Ellen while she unpacked groceries with her young child.

Instead of backing down, Ellen and Patrick grew more involved. They worked to educate themselves about racism. They attended and planned local BLM rallies—including a particularly turbulent one in the middle of their intolerant suburb where members of extremist groups suddenly appeared across the street to counter-protest. They donated to BLM and joined a leadership club that Ellen says "helps students of color with special needs navigate current society."

By the time Ellen and Patrick's flag was vandalized, they had already collected some back-ups. Undeterred, they replaced the flag with one that supports a broader mix of voices including the LGBTQ+ community, which they'd planned to hang for Pride Month in June.

via Paula Fitzgibbons

Though they felt the sting of violation, they understood there was no comparison to the indignities Black people in their area experience. As Ellen shares, it was mostly "a sad confirmation of the reputation of our town."

If the simple act of hanging a flag propelled Ellen and Patrick to lend greater support to the BLM movement, what happened next confirmed the need to continue working hard toward effective allyship.

Ellen explains that a couple of days after their BLM flag was vandalized, Patrick rushed into the house with tears in his eyes and handed her the typed note that was left at their front door along with two wrapped packages.

"I busted into an ugly cry as well," Ellen adds.

The note read:

"I saw your ripped BLM flag on Tuesday morning. I realize it could've been 'just the wind' but there are a fair number of other flags I see flying high in this neighborhood without tattering so suddenly…

So, just in case somebody vandalized it on purpose, I went ahead and made a $ donation to BLM on your behalf!

I also wanted to order you a replacement BLM flag in case you still wanted to fly it, then in a fit of passion I ordered two, so that there's another back-up, or a gift for another good person with a flag pole.

Also quick sidenote, I love your LGBTQ+ Ally flag too! As a "B," it gives me a sense of camaradery [sic]!

Do with these new flags as you will. It was simply my wish to 'fix' the torn flags the same way I wish to 'fix' some of the unkind acts against our fellow human beings. I saw it as a chance to remind you, remind myself, remind vandals and kind people alike that you can't tear away someone's humanity, you can't tear away their pride, you can't tear up love and compassion and good hearts the way you can tear up the fabric.

We'll continue to fly high!"

via Paula Fitzgibbons

The note confirmed Ellen and Patrick's hope that flying a simple flag might help people feel more welcome in their neighborhood.

"We no longer felt indignant, but happy that our flag symbol made another neighbor feel safe," Ellen says.

Flying a BLM flag in a neighborhood with ties to white supremacy allowed the Millers to make a statement against the prevailing racist attitudes in their town. It also moved them to act intentionally in support of BLM. They never imagined the vandalism of that same flag might someday invite more neighbors into solidarity as well.

As another resident of their town commented, "It's nice to know you aren't an island when it comes to compassion in your neighborhood."


*Names have been changed at their request.