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Black mom has perfect response to people asking why her baby is white with blonde hair and blue eyes

You can't argue with that logic.

via Vidal Balielo Jr./Pexels

A newborn baby sleeping.

Popular TikToker Alex McCurry and her husband, Rob, were shocked when they had their third child, affectionately known as Pudge Pudge, because she has blonde hair and blue eyes. Their first two children look like a combination of Alex, who is Black, and Rob, who is white, but Pudge Pudge has the skin tone of someone born to two white parents.

Pudge Pudge was conceived through IVF, so her mother thought that there was a mistake in the lab and she was implanted with an embryo made from a white woman’s egg. "We decided to do the DNA test because she was so white," Alex joked to the Truly Show. However, when the results came back, Pudge Pudge was definitely Alex and Rob’s baby.

Alex has had some very uncomfortable experiences with people who don’t understand or believe that she is Pudge Pudge’s mother. “This lady complimented me on being such a great nanny, and I was like, ‘I'm her mom,’" Alex told People. Another time, she and a friend were followed in a grocery store because someone thought she had kidnapped her baby. “At first, my reaction was like, 'Why would somebody steal a baby? Like, do you know how stressful it is to have kids?'” she jokes.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

In 2020, while she was bored during COVID, Alex created a TikTok channel where she shared her unique family and story, and, although she does get some love on the platform for her beautiful family, she’s also the target of racists. She created her page to remind people that racism still exists even though there’s no need for it. "I should be able to hang out with my child, the way I want to,” she told the Truly Show.

After three years of being forced to explain that she is Pudge Pudge’s mother, Alex has found a way to tell other people about her unique family. “Just a reminder, y'all, genetics do whatever they wanna do, okay? I don't know why my child has blond hair and blue eyes. I don't know why my other two children don't have blond hair and blue eyes. I don't know. I didn't study that much biology,” she admits.

“But what I do know is that these are all biologically my babies. I do know that I love them,” Alex continues. “And I do know that I'm gonna love and educate and teach my children to be the best people that they can be. And that is really all that matters.”

@4thfreshestmccurry2

Replying to @user6631055707588 She is my baby. she is biologically my child. all of my kids are. my husband is white and that's why they're so light.ets move on to suggestions about how to tame this wild baby #pudgepudge #familiesdonthavetolooklikeyouexpect #theyjusthavetoloveeachother

How can a Black woman have a baby that looks white?

There are hundreds of different strands of DNA that work together to determine someone's skin color. A white man and a Black woman both carry gene variants for a lighter skin tone, and if the baby inherits both variants, the baby can appear to be white-looking. Furthermore, in some cases, if the Black parents have lighter-skinned ancestors, those can resurface in their children generations later, something that was a prevalent danger and fear for many white-looking Black individuals who chose to "pass" in the early 20th century America.

Ultimately, Alex has learned that when she is confronted by people who don’t understand her family, it’s not her job to share a lesson about biology, but one about love. “Don't be all asking me those kinds of questions,” she concludes her video. “I don't have time for it anymore. What I do have time for is to remind you that families don't have to come the way that you expect. They just have to love each other.”

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A boy told his teacher she can't understand him because she's white. Her response is on point.

'Be the teacher America's children of color deserve, because we, the teachers, are responsible for instilling empathy and understanding in the hearts of all kids. We are responsible for the future of this country.'

Photo by John Pike. Used with permission.

Emily E. Smith is no ordinary teacher.

Fifth-grade teacher Emily E. Smith is not your ordinary teacher. She founded The Hive Society — a classroom that's all about inspiring children to learn more about their world ... and themselves — by interacting with literature and current events. Students watch TED talks, read Rolling Stone, and analyze infographics.

She even has a long-distance running club to encourage students to take care of their minds and bodies. Smith is such an awesome teacher, in fact, that she recently received the 2015 Donald H. Graves Award for Excellence in the Teaching of Writing.

It had always been her dream to work with children in urban areas, so when Smith started teaching, she hit the ground running. She had her students making podcasts, and they had in-depth discussions about their readings on a cozy carpet.

But in her acceptance speech for her award, she made it clear that it took a turning point in her career before she really got it:

"Things changed for me the day when, during a classroom discussion, one of my kids bluntly told me I "couldn't understand because I was a white lady." I had to agree with him. I sat there and tried to speak openly about how I could never fully understand and went home and cried, because my children knew about white privilege before I did. The closest I could ever come was empathy."

Smith knew that just acknowledging her white privilege wasn't enough.

She wanted to move beyond just empathy and find a way to take some real action that would make a difference for her students.

She kept the same innovative and engaging teaching methods, but she totally revamped her curriculum to include works by people who looked like her students. She also carved out more time to discuss issues that her students were facing, such as xenophobia and racism.

And that effort? Absolutely worth it.

As she said in her acceptance speech:

"We studied the works of Sandra Cisneros, Pam Munoz Ryan, and Gary Soto, with the intertwined Spanish language and Latino culture — so fluent and deep in the memories of my kids that I saw light in their eyes I had never seen before."

The changes Smith made in her classroom make a whole lot of sense. And they're easy enough for teachers everywhere to make:

— They studied the work of historical Latino figures, with some of the original Spanish language included. Many children of color are growing up in bilingual households. In 2007, 55.4 million Americans 5 years of age and older spoke a language other than English at home.

— They analyzed the vision of America that great writers of color sought to create. And her students realized that our country still isn't quite living up to its ideals. Despite progress toward racial equality with the end of laws that enforced slavery or segregation, we still have a long way to go. Black people still fare worse than white people when it comes to things like wealth, unfair arrests, and health.

— They read excerpts from contemporary writers of color, like Ta-Nehisi Coates who writes about race. Her students are reading and learning from a diverse group of writers. No small thing when they live in a society that overwhelmingly gives more attention to white male writers (and where the number of employees of color in the newspaper industry stagnates at a paltry 12%).

— They read about the Syrian crisis, and many students wrote about journeys across the border in their family history for class. The opportunity particularly struck one student; the assignment touched him so much that he cried. He never had a teacher honor the journey his family made. And he was proud of his heritage for the first time ever. "One child cried," Smith shared, "and told me he never had a teacher who honored the journey his family took to the United States. He told me he was not ashamed anymore, but instead proud of the sacrifice his parents made for him."

Opportunities like this will only increase as the number of children from immigrant families is steadily increasing. As of 2013, almost 17.4 million children under 18 have at least one immigrant parent.

Smith now identifies not just as an English teacher, but as a social justice teacher.

ethnicity, responsibility, empathy

Teaching in a racially and ethnically diverse world.

Photo by John Pike. Used with permission.

Smith's successful shift in her teaching is an example for teachers everywhere, especially as our schools become increasingly ethnically and racially diverse. About 80% of American teachers are white. But as of last year, the majority of K-12 students in public schools are now children of color.

As America's demographics change, we need to work on creating work that reflects the experiences that our students relate to. And a more diverse curriculum isn't just important for students of color. It's vital for everyone.

As Smith put it, "We, the teachers, are responsible for instilling empathy and understanding in the hearts of all kids. We are responsible for the future of this country."


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

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Race & Ethnicity

A 10-panel comic explores a subtle kind of racism many people of color experience

Not all questions are harmless.

Image from Facebook of Alexandra Dal.

People of color experience many types of subtle racism.



If we're being honest, we all make assumptions about other people, right?

We look at their skin, their clothes, and their car, and we make guesses about them that we don't even realize we're making. Everyone does it.

You ask a pregnant female coworker if she'll keep working after the baby is born—but you wouldn't think to ask that question of a guy who was about to become a dad.

You ask that nice girl behind the counter at the bagel shop whether she'll ever go to college so she can get a better job—only to learn that she's an underemployed Ph.D.

While this can happen to anyone, there's a certain group that experiences it the most by far.

The fact is that people of color deal with other people's assumptions constantly.

Research shows that other people's expectations can have a profound effect on us. They can determine our success or failure. Black women deal with this nonsense more than others. In a 2015 study, nearly half of the female Black and Latina scientists polled reported being mistaken for janitors or administrative staff.

Let's agree to fix this.

a comic strip

A comic created by Alexandra Dal on racial expectations.

Image from Facebook of Alexandra Dal.

In her comic, artist Alexandra Dal portrays the simple but clear ways people of color, and mainly Black women, experience these assumptions, also known as microaggressions. Microaggressions are unfortunately common, but there's more awareness about what they are and how harmful they can be now more than ever.

The best way to combat microaggressions is to take an honest look at our own biases and unlearn the more harmful aspects that have become normal in our society.

This story originally appeared nine years ago.

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Joy

What is 'code switching' and why do people do it?

Let's take a deep dive into this common—and commonly misunderstood—linguistic phenomenon.

Photo by fauxels/Pexels

Code switching is a natural tendency.

Have you ever noticed someone changing the way they talk when they're around different people? You may even do this yourself, using different slang, intonation and articulation when you're at work versus when you're hanging out with your friends or family.

Sometimes those changes might be subtle, while other times they're obvious. People who grew up around different cultures or who straddle multiple racial/cultural/linguistic/geographic identities can sometimes have dramatic shifts in how they speak depending on who they're talking to.

This linguistic phenomenon is known as "code switching." It's not new, nor is it controversial, but there are some people who seem to scoff at it as an explanation for people switching up their speech patterns. They hear someone code switch and think they're being "fake" or pandering to a specific audience.

In reality, code switching is both a natural tendency and a means of navigating complex social dynamics.

What does code switching mean?

Britannica describes code switching as a "process of shifting from one linguistic code (a language or dialect) to another, depending on the social context or conversational setting."

One of the clearest and most cited examples of code switching we see in the U.S. is when Black Americans use AAVE (African American Vernacular English) with their Black friends and family and more "standard" American English with their white friends or coworkers. However, Black Americans are not the only people who code switch regularly.

In fact, most of us change up the way we speak depending on the circumstances and who we're talking to. We talk differently at work than we do at home. We use different language with our kids than we do with our spouses. We speak differently when making a business call than when calling up an old friend. Even if you don't think you ever code switch, you probably do, it may just be subtle.

Code switching in a cultural and racial context, however, has some specific nuances that may not be clear to those who aren't intimately familiar with different cultural spaces.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Why do people code switch?

There are many reasons why people change the way they speak around different people. Here are five big ones that the NPR blog Code Switch identified:

1. Unconscious habit

Of hundreds of stories people shared that involved code switching with Code Switch, most were inadvertent. People often code switch automatically, slipping into a dialect or language that fits the circumstances or group dynamic they are in.

For instance, if someone is bilingual and speaks English around their friends, they will automatically switch to Spanish when talking with their Spanish-speaking grandparents. It's not consciously chosen, it's just like a switch that flips in the brain based on context and environment.

2. To fit in

It's a natural human instinct to fit in as a means of protection and/or to prevent feeling like a social outsider. We tend to adopt the language of those we spend a lot of time with, and if you spend a lot of time with different groups of people, you will naturally code switch to fit in with that group.

For minorities, code switching to fit into the dominant culture can be a habit not just for social comfort, but for safety and survival.

It's worth noting here that code switching to fit in can be advantageous but it can also be psychologically exhausting, especially when it's done to keep yourself from being subjected to prejudice or racism.

3. To get something

This is where code switching can get confusing and cause people to accuse politicians or others of "pandering," because yes, sometimes code switching is intentional. One example is using a cutesy voice to convince your partner to do something for you. Another is when people use certain words and even accents in the service industry to gain favor with customers. (Apparently, southern accents get more tips. Who knew?)

4. To literally talk in code

If you and a friend speak a common language and you want to say something in secret to one another, you may code switch to keep others from knowing what you're talking about.

5. To express a thought more clearly

Languages and dialects differ in vocabulary and meaning, and sometimes there's something you want to say that can best be expressed with a specific phrase from a specific dialect.

Is code switching a problem?

Code switching isn't inherently good nor bad, it's just a thing that people do. Where questions come in is when people try to code switch in a way that's not natural for them or that comes across as mocking a person's or culture's speech.

Have you ever known someone who picks up other people's accents super easily and mirrors them? Uncomfortable sometimes, right? Even if it's not intentional, putting on an accent that isn't part of one's identity or history can feel wrong, especially if it's an accent that has been ostracized or made fun of in popular culture.

Politicians code switching can open them up to criticism, whether it's instinctual or not. As United Language Group points out, "Code-switching is a powerful psychological tool, as well. When an individual uses a group’s dialect or accent, the audience is more receptive to the content. As a result, politicians have been known to code-switch to a casual tone around certain groups, with varying degrees of success."

"Much of this political code-switching has been criticized by pundits as pandering to crowds with fake affectations," the site adds. "While some of this might include calculated, disingenuous moves, most of it is simply a natural reaction to being around different groups."

If a Black person is speaking to a largely Black crowd, it's natural to code switch to Black American vernacular. If a southerner who has lost much of their drawl goes back to his hometown for a bit, he'll likely code switch back into his native accent without even trying.

Comedians Key and Peele even tackled code switching with humor in several of their skits, such as this one:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Code switching is an expected, well-documented phenomenon and one that we should all understand better so we don't end up making unfair or erroneous assumptions.

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