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Equality

Trump's anti-racism training prohibition is already having stupid real-world consequences

Trump's anti-racism training prohibition is already having stupid real-world consequences

Two weeks ago (which frankly feels like a lifetime ago), President Trump issued an executive order banning most popular diversity and anti-racism training programs from being used by federal workers and federal contractors. And the order, which bans programming that suggests the "United States is an inherently racist or evil country or that any race or ethnicity is inherently racist or evil"—a dramatic misrepresentation of what racial bias training based on critical race theory actually teaches—is already having some ridiculous real-world consequences.

Actor William Jackson Harper, best known for playing the anxious philosophy professor Chidi Anagonye on "The Good Place," shared a story on Twitter that illustrates one of the many problems with the order. Harper, who works with the charity Arts in the Armed Forces ran into problems with a group of military personnel watching and discussing the movie "Malcolm X" together.

The thread reads:

"So I've had a rather disturbing experience this past week. I agreed to a virtual event with one of the charities I'm involved with, Arts In The Armed Forces (AITAF). As the son of a Marine I have a deep respect for those who serve in our military.

The event was an all-academy virtual screening of a movie I selected, that cadets would watch on their own, which culminated in a Talkback/ Q&A session via zoom. I thought this was a great idea.


I think exposure to and interaction with the arts is a necessary part of any education. Furthermore, I think watching a movie with an eye toward discussion is an effective way to explore differing viewpoints, mindfully interrogate our own responses to a piece of art, and to expand our capacity for empathy.

I gave them a list of three films for AITAF to choose from. American Honey, Citizen Kane, and Malcolm X. Malcolm X was selected and I couldn't have been happier. I love this film. I have a very specific and deep connection to this film.

It's arguably the greatest biography committed to film. Washington's performance in this movie is a thing to behold. The restraint, the fire, the commitment, the physical and intellectual rigor of his work is beyond anything I've ever seen.

Additionally, I was happy to discuss the themes of this movie, the historical significance of the man, and hoping to have a wider discussion about how we view our past, and how those we venerate or revile were just people, complex, flawed people who were full of contradictions.

Now the disturbing part. Two days before the event, I was informed that students at two of the academies would not be taking part for fear of running afoul of President Trump's 'Executive Order Combating Race and Sex Stereotyping' which requires that federal and military institutions refrain from training material that promote a 'pernicious and false belief that America is an irredeemably racist and sexist country; that some people, simply on account of their race or sex, are oppressors…'

Which meant they possibly couldn't watch Malcolm X.

I would encourage everyone to go and read it in its entirety here: https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/ex...

I don't disagree with the idea of combating race and sex stereotyping. But that is not what this order is about. This is censorship. This executive order is an attempt to censor certain difficult truths that still haunt our society.

This executive order denies the very real experiences of so many minorities in this country. This executive order is rooted in the fictitious idea that the scourges of racism and sexism are essentially over, and that the poisonous fallout from centuries discrimination isn't real.

But all of these things are real, and they remain to this day some of the most salient malignancies in our society.

The film Malcolm X is history. American History. This film is not propaganda meant to teach one to favor one race or sex over the other. It's History. It's an admittedly thorny history, but it is history.

I believe that the selective censorship of certain chapters of our country's because we find it disquieting, or because it disrupts our narrative and tarnishes our self-image, is cowardly at best, dangerous at worst, and dishonest either way. And honesty is paramount if we are to ever continue to progress as a society.

I feel we have a collective duty to engage in self-reflection, and to hold ourselves accountable when we don't live up to our professed American ideals. However, I feel we cannot do that without a thorough, unflinching, unpleasant dialogue with our past.

A dialogue that so many brave educators and activists are attempting to have right now. A dialogue that this President and his administration are trying their damnedest to silence.

In the end three of the four slated academies did participate. We had a lively discussion, and there were some very incisive questions from the community.

However, one did not for fear of potential consequences of stemming from an Executive Order from the White House. The fact that the film that the film Malcolm X could be considered "Anti-American" by this administration is very frightening to me.

We can't let this slide. I would encourage us all to stay vigilant, to question every single decision this administration makes, and every single word out of their mouths. Most importantly, WE HAVE TO VOTE. If we don't, we are whistling past the graveyard. K. Bye."

Trump has tried to paint the more inclusive and accurate history that academics have brought to the forefront in recent decades as a "revision" of history, when the actual revision of actual history has always been the whitewashed versions many of us grew up with. It's a bafflingly bad take to claim that being realistic and truthful about the racism that permeates American history is somehow un-American, or even worse, anti-American.

Time to return to reality and keep moving forward. Vote, vote, vote.

Popular

Couple in their 30s live permanently on cruise ships for a little over $10K a year

“I’m not a millionaire ... I just live full-time on cruise ships.”

A magnificent cruise ship on the ocean.

Giving it all up and retiring to live on a cruise ship at 32 seems like a lifestyle choice only available to the ultra-wealthy. However, two financially savvy retired school teachers from Tennessee have managed to do just that, spending under $10,000 for the first eight months at sea.

Monica Brzoska, 32, and Jorrell Conley, 36, met in 2015 while teaching in Memphis, Tennessee. The following year, they booked a week-long cruise to Mexico, Belize, and Grand Cayman. After that, they were hooked on cruising together.

Eight years later, in March 2023, they booked a week-long Caribbean cruise. When it was over, instead of returning home to Memphis, they had a wild idea: Why not continue to book consecutive cruises? So, they did just that.

Monica was inspired to start living the life she always wanted after her father fell ill and her mother told her: "Don't wait for retirement. Follow your dreams."



The couple crunched the numbers and found that if they chose the cheapest cabins and used the deals they’ve received from Carnival Cruises, they could book the first 8 months for just under $10,000. “It sounds mad, but the numbers made sense. Accommodation, food and entertainment would be included – we’d only need spending money,” Brzoska told The Sun. “And because we’d been on so many Carnival cruises, we’d earned access to some amazing offers.”

Hopping from ship to ship isn’t difficult for the couple because many disembark from the same ports. But they sometimes have to fly when they can’t walk to the next ocean liner.

The couple then quit their jobs, sold their possessions, and started a new life on the high seas. They rent out their 3-bedroom home in Memphis to maintain steady cash flow. The average 3-bedroom home in the area rents somewhere between $1200 to $1900 a month.



Over the first year of their new life, the couple completed 36 consecutive cruises. They have already visited countless destinations across the globe, but they can’t choose a favorite. "For a cultural experience, we loved Japan," Brzoska told a Carnival Cruise director on Instagram. The couple also loved Greece for its “history” and Iceland because it was the "closest to being on Mars."

One of the most incredible benefits of loving on a cruise ship is that so many things are taken care of for you. The couple never has to cook any meals, do any laundry or drive. Every night, there is something to do, whether it’s checking out a comedy show or enjoying drinks and dancing in the nightclub.



Plus, on cruises, just about all the costs are covered, so you rarely have to open your wallet. It’s a stress-free, all-inclusive lifestyle. Brzoska says that when you remove the everyday stresses from life, it’s great for your marriage. “Without the daily stresses of life, we rarely argued, but always told each other if we needed space or more time together,” she said.

The couple also makes sure to have one date night a week, during which they dress up and have a nice meal together.

Most people may be unable to give it all up and live their lives hopping from ocean liner to ocean liner. But there’s a great lesson in the story of Brzoska and Conley: You never know how much time you have left, so don’t wait for retirement to live the life of your dreams.

Upworthy has reached out to Brzoska for comment and is still awaiting a response.



This article originally appeared in August.

Would you remarry if your spouse died? Widows explain why they've chosen to remain single.

There are some interesting differences between men's and women's answers.

Most people who lose a spouse don't remarry.

Most of us don't want to imagine our spouse dying, but since couples rarely die at the same time, it's a reality many of us will eventually face. It's hard to know how we would feel about remarrying if that were to happen—some people who swear they would never remarry end up hating being alone after being widowed, and some people who are open to the idea end up being perfectly content to stay single.

Statistically, most people actually don't remarry after being widowed. A study published in The Journals of Gerontology found that "most repartnering after widowhood occurs within ten years of this event or not at all. Ten years after widowhood, about 7% of widows and 29% of widowers have formed a new union." Widows and widowers who have actually faced the reality of losing a spouse and decided not to remarry are sharing their reasoning, and it's a fascinating glimpse into how differently people view independence and relationships. It's also interesting to see some how men and women might view remarrying differently.

Here are four big reasons widowed people on Reddit's /AskOldPeople said they've chosen to stay single.

Not wanting to be a caretaker

Some people who have lost partners went through intense caretaking due to illness and don't want to go through that again. But some—particularly women—had a marriage that involved taking care of someone else for decades and they simply don't want to do that anymore.

"My grandmother lost her husband in 1983 and never even dated again until she died in 2016. I asked her about it once, and she said, 'Why would I want to take care of an old man? Are you trying to kill me?'"

"That's what my grandma told me when I asked her. She said that the old guys just want someone to take care of them, cook, do laundry, clean the house, do their bidding. She was not up for that--she was very independent."

"My grandmother said the same thing. Grandpa died in 1992 she lived till 2018. Went on trips with friends, had an active social life but never dated again because in her words 'I took care of 1 man for 47 years why would I sign up to take care of another.'"

"I have heard the phrase 'looking for a nurse and a purse' in regard to many older gents and why they want to re-marry. Likely not all older fellows but certainly some."

"As soon as my mother died my father went into full wife search mode. He was definitely looking for a nurse. Mom had been his caretaker so we needed to bring in caretakers after she died, he fell in love with almost all of them and would have married anyone that would have had him. His caretakers were primarily widows and they all were very adamant that they had zero interest in remarrying. I first heard the term 'nurse and a purse' from one of them."

Not wanting to dip in the dating pool

Young people often feel like the dating scene is rough, but it's often worse for people in their later years. Many people in that dating pool are divorced, and some of them for good reason.

"Have you seen the dating pool? Someone took a big ol pooo in it."

"This, exactly. I’m not opposed to having another partner, just haven’t found one that is worth having. In addition, the pool gets smaller as I get older. Not going to accept anything less than an actual partner."

"Have you looked at the dating scene lately?? It’s a virtual cesspool!"

"Dating seems horrifying. Having to tell someone my whole story and learn theirs seems exhausting. I'm okay on my own."

Not wanting a sexual relationship

People's desire for sex exists on a huge spectrum, and some people simply don't want the sexual expectations of a committed relationship.

"Years ago, I asked my divorced mom if she ever wanted to date again. Her response: I don't want somebody trying to have sex with me. I let it go there."

"I’m 62, divorced, and I’m of the same mind. On the one hand, I know life would be easier with a partner and two incomes, etc. but the truth is I just don’t want to be bothered with sex anymore. I have no interest whatsoever."

"I honestly can’t see myself pursuing a sexual relationship and certainly don’t need a purse or a nurse. I will someday fall into a situation where someone enters my life who may like to share my company and just enjoy good conversation. Then again I may find a way to be alone without being lonely. Time will tell."

"I got a big dog who sleeps on the bed with me. Doesn't pressure me for sex. All is good! 😂"

Enjoying the freedom of living alone

While living alone can be lonely for some, it's a whole new world of choices and freedom for others.

"So, I loved my late husband, but living with him was a constant compromise. Every decision, every choice, also had to take his needs and preferences into account. After 35 years, I didn’t even know what my own favorite color was anymore. I am busy creating the life and the household I want now, and have no desire to bend or adjust to fit somebody else’s tastes or needs.

I can watch what I like on tv.
I can set the thermostat to whatever temperature I want.
I can cook with butter. Or not cook at all.
I don’t have to ask what anyone else thinks.

I’m enjoying my self discovery."

"A friend of mine, a widow for about a decade, told me recently that she prefers the freedom of being single. Her schedule is her own. Wakes up, goes to bed, eats and travels when she wants. When her husband was alive, their marriage wasn't good so she isn't interested in taking a risk on someone again."

"My sister’s husband died unexpectedly and suddenly after 34 years of marriage. He was her first and only love. She has been approached numerous times by men, but she isn’t interested. She says 'I already had love, I don’t need it again. Besides, I like living alone with no one to tell me where or when I have to do anything.'”

"My mom died at 41, dad was 43. He never remarried. He passed last year at 76. He said he did not want to remarry (he never said never) because compromise was so hard. He said he loved my mom, and he compromised for her, but he didn’t want to compromise for anyone else. As a teenager when he told me that, I couldn’t comprehend what he meant. As an adult, I completely understand."

Undying love and knowing no one will live up to it

Finally, some don't remarry for the simple fact that they loved their spouse so much they have no desire to ever be with someone else. One perfect love was enough for one lifetime.

"I lost my husband coming up on 2 years ago suddenly and honestly have no plans of remarrying. I'm in the process of building a new life with my new normal and I don't see someone else in that new life. Once you have your soulmate, nothing else has any interest."

"My husband died 2.5 years ago. He's the only guy who ever asked me out ( I was 25). We were married 45 years. He's my first last and always. I count myself lucky. There's no place in my life for anyone else."

"I've told people that I barely survived losing my husband. I suppose I might be able to survive that kind of loss again, but I don't want to have to try. And, I'm not interested in making room in my life for anyone who wouldn't leave that kind of hole."

"Never again. My husband was absolutely perfect for me and I would constantly compare any other men to him - and that’s not fair to anyone or to my late husband’s memory. No one could hold a candle to him.

I don’t wear my wedding band anymore, but I do wear a band. It has two hearts and the words 'Forever Love' on it."

"I will always be married to my late wife."

"I already had the best."

Awww.

Her delight at finding a snack she liked has people in stitches.

In the age of Amazon and other online retailers, delivery drivers have become an integral part of our lives. But most of us rarely interact with the people who drop packages at our door via UPS or FedEx or USPS, and if we do, it's usually only for a few seconds. We might manage a friendly "Good afternoon!" or quick "Thanks a bunch!" as they hustle to and from their vehicle, always rushing to fulfil their quota as efficiently as possible.

Delivery folks work hard. They're on their feet much of the day, traipsing up hundreds of front walks a week, through all kinds of inclement weather. Yes, it's their job and they're paid to do it, but it's always nice to have your work seen and appreciated, which is one reason a video of UPS driver discovering a sweet treat on a customer's front porch is going viral.

Another reason is that it's just hilariously adorable.

A doorbell camera caught a UPS driver wearing a holiday bauble headband walking up to the door and dropping off a package as she talks to herself. After she takes a photo of the delivery, she sees that the customer had left a little tray of drinks and snacks, and her "Oooh, do I see honey bunny?" is a sign of the hilarity to come.

Watch her reaction and the way she joyfully make her way back to the truck.

Unsurprisingly, people are in love with the driver and her giddy goofiness.

"I literally laughed out loud at her crazy walk back to the truck. I need more people like her in my life."

"I have a friend like that, he just makes my day every time we see each other. 😂"

"That is way adorable! Simple act that makes the day of a random person <3."

"I don’t know anything else about her but she’s my new fave human."

"OMG she reminds me of our mail carrier so much. We leave her cookies at Christmas and she always does a little happy dance that day."

Delivery drivers and former delivery drivers shared that these kinds of gestures really do mean a lot.

"As a former delivery driver, i want you to know that if you leave snacks and drinks out for us, we love you to the moon and back. 💜"

"Driving for Amazon paid my rent for 10 months. Not exaggerating when I say that it was a dark time in my life. Snacks made me smile. every. single. time."

"I mean... I literally took something from every house that had stuff out. I worked 10-12hrs+ during the holidays... I needed every calorie I could get walking 20-30miles a day."

"Even when I didn't take them I appreciate them. it's like seeing a sign that says we love delivery drivers."

"I'll tell you what, the people who leave food got me through my holidays as a postal carrier. Nothing slaps harder than an ice cold redbull and bag of pretzels and ice cold bottle of water that was left in a cooler. I had a lady who asked me what I liked and then had sperate bags labeled "Mail carrier USPS" and "UPS GUY" and "FED EX GUY" with our preferred snacks. She asked me what my favorite ice cream was and she knew my mile long loop and knew when I parked, I'd be done in 15mins, so, she'd be waiting at the truck every day all summer with an ice cream and a napkin.

There are some people who just f---ing make the day feel worth it, if you are one of these people, you are what makes delivering mail worth it. We do notice the nice things you do for us, THANK YOU."

"I do this during the summer. I'm in Texas so it's routinely over 100°F. I'm always trying to make sure there are cold drinks for our postal workers and delivery people."

"I do it during Australian Christmas. 40c/100f plus on a December day. Coke water and Gatorade always gone by lunch."

It's a good reminder that it doesn't take a lot to show appreciation and make someone's day. These kinds of positive interactions, even when asynchronous and not directly face-to-face, are an important part of building the kind of world we all want to live in.

Photo by Gary Bendig on Unsplash

Antibiotics are amazing, and one of our best tools for fighting infections and disease. They're literal lifesavers. Unfortunately, more and more bacteria have developed drug-resistance, which means scientists continue to relentlessly hunt for new antibiotics that might show promise for human applications.

Camarria Williams, a middle-schooler from Chicago, thought she was taking part in a program to help researchers identify new antibiotics — and she was. But she may have incidentally stumbled upon a much, much larger discovery.

Through a partnership between the University of Illinois at Chicago and the Boys and Girls Club, middle-school kids went out into their community to collect environmental samples. They grabbed everything from water, insects, flowers, and even bits of debris. The samples were brought to a team of researchers and grad students who helped the kids analyze their samples for potential antibiotic activity. The goal was to, quite literally, grow potential new antibiotics from natural samples.

Camarria took a... let's call it, unique approach. She chose to bring in a sample of goose poop found near a pond in Chicago's Garfield Park.


two gray-white-and-green geese on body of water at daytime Photo by Josiah Weiss on Unsplash

Not only did Camarri's stinky sample show antibiotic activity, it also produced an interesting byproduct (and no, not gas). A compound the researchers had never seen before was identified — a huge discovery!

Researchers showed in a lab setting that the new compound found in the goose feces was able to inhibit growth of human cancer cells.

The compound (named orfamide N.) was immediately put to the test, as the researchers knew other, similar compounds (orfamides) had been shown to have cytotoxic effects. Orfamides are used in things like insecticides, antifungals, and more.

Orfamie N. proved capable of slowing growth in human melanoma and ovarian cancer cells, in the laboratory setting.

The findings — a novel compound AND a promising cancer treatment — were substantial enough to be published in the journal ACS Omega. Williams, a kid, was even listed as one of the study's co-authors. What an achievement.

One minute, she's doing a science experiment with the Boys and Girls Club, the next, she's a published researcher!

Obviously, this is far from a "cure" for cancer. Much, much, much more research is needed. But orfamide N. is definitely promising and exciting.


a yellow substance with red dots in it Photo by CDC on Unsplash

The fight against cancer requires brutally slow progress over many years, but we are making strides. An experimental new drug recently cured a 13-year-old boy of brain cancer, which was a miraculous milestone. Scientists are looking in all kinds of interesting places to find promising treatments — they've tried bubbles that attack tumors, shark and cow cartilage, urine therapy...

... and now, goose poop can be added to the list.

Camarria's fascinating story may not go on to cure cancer, but it is evidence of a radical new approach to scientific research. Community-based outreach, getting regular people involved — and young people, in particular — is already yielding huge dividends.

If we want to find new antibiotics (which are extremely rare, and most of which won't ever make it to human trials), new cancer treatments, and other new lifesaving discoveries, who better to put on the case than kids? They're curious, resilient, and always manage to think up unique ideas that adults could never dream of.

Goose poop? Really? Only a middle-schooler would think of that, and thank goodness she did.

Joy

Mom's accidental NSFW holiday photo in family chat becomes hilarious PSA for 'Live Photos'

In case you didn't know: iPhone's Live Photos feature captures audio. Just sayin'.

So glad it didn't happen to us.

One mom’s accidental photo faux pas is giving her family—and everyone on the internet—a hearty holiday chuckle. Not to mention it’s teaching folks about a lesser known iPhone feature.

Kimberly Barber, a mom in South Carolina, had meant to send her family a perfectly innocent photo of the impressive Christmas display of twinkling lights, lush garland and even a picture of a majestic white reindeer on the mantle in her home.

What Barber didn’t realize, however, was that when she took the photo, her camera was set to take a Live Photo, which happens to record sound. And, well, mom had been listening to a romance novel at the time.

In a totally incriminating TikTok posted by Barber’s daughter, Taylor McGuigan, we get the hilarious juxtaposition of a lovely, wholesome visual and a voice talking about, ahem, “bulges.”


@ogmommom When your mom takes a live photo while also listening to her smut book… and then sends it in the family chat 🤣🤣🤣 #funny #funnyvideos #momfail #darkromance #spicybooks #booktok #familymessagefail #bookish #humortiktok #humoroftiktok #toofunny #fyp #viral ♬ Oh No - Kreepa

Needless to say, the family had a field day. But the award for best response goes to Dad, who wrote, “Sorry girls! Your mom’s phone was reading her mind and I had just walked by! Love Daddy.” Wow wow wowwww.

“This is amazing aahahah! Your father’s response was icing on the cake,” one person said.

@ogmommom/TikTok

Judging by the flurry of astonished comments, Barber wasn’t the only one to not know that iPhone’s Live Photo captures a few seconds of sound along with movement.

"I DIDN’T REALIZE LIVE PICTURES HAVE SOUND.”

"Who else just discovered those Live Photos have sound? I’m so terrified about all the pictures I’ve ever sent."

"I was today years old when I learned that Live Photos had audio."

In an interview with Today, McGuigan shared that it was her husband Mark who first noticed the gaffe. When he played it for Taylor, they “literally hit the floor laughing,” and knew they could never let mom live this down.

They also noted that mom’s naughty read was from K.A. Tucker’s “Break Me,” the second romance novel of her spicy, bestselling “Wolf Hotel” series, which follows the forbidden romance between an innocent (yet sexy, obviously) farm girl and a lumberjack who just so happens to also be the billionaire (so sexy plus rich, what’s not to like?). Steaminess ensues.

Listen, Barber might have been caught redhanded, but she is certainly not alone in her extracurricular reading preferences. Romance novel sales have been on a steady rise, particularly titles in the newly birthed romantasy subgenre, which, as the name suggests, blends romance with fantasy. Think enemies to lovers storylines set in mystical realms with scantily clad fae folk or brutishly attractive werewolves, etc.

And of course, there’s no shame in smut. Research has shown that consuming sexually explicit content helps people feel more sexually confident with themselves and their bodies, which is a good thing. As long as it doesn’t blur the line between realistic expectations and pure fantasy too much. Clearly, what we really need to be wary of here is Live Photos—which, if we’re honest, is kind of a lame feature.

Anyway, for this unexpected PSA, we thank you, Barber. You might never be able to live this down with your own family, but we thank you for your service.