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21 anonymous parents confess how they're battling burnout by any means possible

"I throw out my kids' crafts and I don't feel bad about it."

parenting, parents, kids, family, stress, anxiety, parenting stress, millennial parents, modern families, culture, society
Canva Photos & Skylight

Parents are really struggling, and they're confessing the little ways they get by under all the pressure.

I was trying to make a dentist appointment for my two kids last week. Or, rather, I was trying to reschedule a dentist appointment. I'd made one six months ago at their last visit for a day and time that seemed to make sense, but that was basically an educated guess at best. Six months might as well be six years ago! I had no idea what our schedule would be so far in the future, so I did my best. But now it was time to move it, of course, because I had been completely wrong.

I called the office, but no answer. Called again, no answer. Left a message, no call back. Finally, I was able to get a hold of someone through the office's text line. They offered up some new dates and times, which was great. So, I went to check our calendar.

Day 1 didn't work because of back to school "sneak previews." The timing on Day 2 didn't work because my youngest isn't allowed to show up to daycare summer camp past 11 (don't even get me started). Day 3 didn't work because the plumber was scheduled to come that morning. Day 4 didn't work because I had a dentist appointment of my own! I thought day 5 might be a winner, but then my wife reminded me that it was the second day of school—and we couldn't take our kids out of school on their second day of both starting new schools!

In the end, honestly, I just gave up. I needed a break. I had other things to do and my brain was starting to hurt. Plus, I'd already spent what felt like hours on this allegedly simple task.

So, my confession as a dad is that my kids are currently overdue for the dentist, and making them a new appointment is still pending on my To-Do list, because I literally just can't right now. Apparently, I'm not the only one who feels that way.

The folks at Skylight have been collecting confessions from anonymous parents, who share how they're surviving the chaos: Whether it's taking shortcuts, telling little white lies, or just feeling guilty for always falling short. Whatever it is, these parents are doing their best and still struggling.

But that doesn't mean that some of the confessions aren't hilarious. Others are incredibly moving. Overall, it's the perfect picture of the joy, the love, and the anxious guilt that all come together to make up modern parenting.

Yes, people knowingly sign up for this when they have kids, but it's impossible to know just how difficult and frustrating it can be before you're in the thick of it every day. It's also awesome and so fun and joyful! That's the beauty of it all.

Here are some of the best responses from Skylight's anonymous confessions.

 parenting, parents, kids, family, stress, anxiety, parenting stress, millennial parents, modern families, culture, society "Sometimes I book a babysitter just so I can drive around in my car alone."Skylight

"I skip pages at bedtime stories." —Dad, 33

"There's a 50/50 shot I forget it's early dismissal. " —Dad, 48

"Still haven't unpacked their backpacks from June. Should be fun." —Dad, 41

"Whenever I want time alone I tell the kids I'm planning Christmas. Even if its March. " —Mom, 45

"I never filled out my kid's baby books. " —Mom, 29

"I throw out my kid's crafts and I don’t feel bad about it. " —Mom, 44

I relate to so many of these, so much so that it hurts. As I'm writing this, there is a cardboard box in my garage filled with just a year's worth of my kids artwork, school papers, and crafts. The box is overflowing and I keep having ideas of sorting through it so I can save the really good stuff, but I just can't get around to it. Literally, I can barely get to the box because it's buried under a ton of other junk I have to sort through!

In my house, we've all but given up saving new artwork unless it's really special, and most of what's in the box will probably be thrown away. I feel guilty as hell about it but I just can't create more hours in the day to deal with it.

 parenting, parents, kids, family, stress, anxiety, parenting stress, millennial parents, modern families, culture, society "I secretly prayed my kid's Little League team would lose."Skylight

Here are some more good ones:

"Sometimes when my children are fighting I just let them have it out and continue to read my books." —Mom, 37

"I tell my kids I'm going in my room to work, and not to interrupt. When in fact I am eating ice cream and watching my show." —Mom, 36

"If we don’t have cash in the house for the tooth fairy, we use money from their piggy bank." —Dad, 35

"I tell my kids I’m studying, but really I’m reading my spicy book. " —Mom, 42

"That cute, smiling picture I posted on IG? My toddler was having a full blown meltdown and the only reason she smiled was because I sang Baby Shark." —Mom, 33

"I’m never sad when a practice or game canceled for rain or heat!" —Mom, 39

As a travel soccer family, I can definitely relate to the sweet relief of a cancelled practice. Our daughter goes about three times per week year round, which is an enormous time commitment. The practices are usually in the evenings around dinner time, and we have a younger kid that needs to keep a normal schedule, so practice evenings are usually pretty chaotic and often end with one or many of us eating junk from McDonald's. Worse, I feel a lot of guilt that I stay in the car or at a nearby coffee shop working on my laptop while other parents are out in lawn chairs watching practice. What am I doing wrong? I wonder constantly.

 parenting, parents, kids, family, stress, anxiety, parenting stress, millennial parents, modern families, culture, society "I told my kid our town doesn't have a hockey team, because lord knows I'm not waking up ... to take him to practice."Skylight

OK, here are just a few more:

"All I want is time with my kids and time without my kids." —Mom, 33

"Yes, I threw out your Halloween candy." —Dad, 52

"I’ve forgotten my son at early pick up before." —Mom, 37

"Some days, I feel like I’m not giving enough to either side of my life." —Mom, 32

"I’m constantly feeling guilty when I’m not with my kids but feel overwhelmed when I’m with them. " —Mom, 44

Ah, yes, the true brilliance of being a parent is that you get to feel like you're failing in every aspect of your life simultaneously. Parenting takes time and energy away from advancing in your career, but don't worry, your career also takes time and energy away from being a great parent. It's so awesome!

You can see all the confessions as they roll in right here.

 parenting, parents, kids, family, stress, anxiety, parenting stress, millennial parents, modern families, culture, society "i told them I had to work late, but I just drove around crying until I felt better."Skylight

In 2024, Skylight teamed up with The Harris Poll to create something called the Mental Load Report. The findings were fascinating and illuminating.

The survey results showed that parents spent an average of 30.4 hours per week on "planning and coordinating family schedules and household tasks," or the equivalent of a near-full-time job.

Parents were found to receive an average of 17.5 communications (emails, texts, phone calls) about their kids' activities every week. It's a stark difference from when we were kids and our parents never heard anything until it was Report Card time.

Planning for "time off"—securing childcare, summer breaks, activities, etc.—took over 100 hours per year. Summer vacation? Yeah, right.

Moms, unsurprisingly, are carrying more of the mental load. But 60% of all parents felt taken for granted or under-appreciated in their household for all the care and planning that they do.

Add it all up and it's no wonder the US Surgeon General put out an advisory warning recently about the poor mental health of parents. An advisory is a "public statement that calls the American people's attention to an urgent public health issue and provides recommendations for how it should be addressed." The report lobbied for expanded paid family leave, expanding public and private insurance coverage of mental health care like therapy, and creating more family-friendly and free community spaces like parks.

Those measures would go a long way, but in the meantime, parents are just trying to cope any way that they can. Whether that's stealing some of your kid's Halloween candy for a little pick me up, or telling them you have an appointment just so you can go somewhere quiet and scream in your car. We're getting by, however we can.

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If you see a person and two dogs in this photo, look again. It's an optical illusion.

It takes a while to see it, but there aren't two dogs in the photo.

@Rainmaker1973/X, @farhadge/X

If you see a man and two dogs, look again.

Optical illusions are wild. The way our brains perceive what our eyes see can be way off base, even when we're sure about what we're looking at. Plenty of famous optical illusions have been created purposefully, from the Ames window that appears to be moving back and forth when it's actually rotating 360 degrees, to the spiral image that makes Van Gogh's "Starry Night" look like it's moving.

But sometimes optical illusions happen by accident. Those ones are even more fun because we know they aren't a result of someone trying to trick our brains. Our brains do the tricking all by themselves.

The popular Massimo account on X shared a photo that appears to be a person and two dogs in the snow. The more you look at it, the more you see just that—two dogs and someone who is presumably their owner. Turn the photo every which way and it's still the same conclusion. That's a person and two dogs, right?

 

But there are not two dogs in the photo. There are actually three dogs in this picture. Can you see the third?

Full confession time: I didn't see it at first. Not even when someone explained that the "human" is actually a dog. My brain couldn't see anything but a person with two legs, dressed all in black, with a furry hat and some kind of furry stole or jacket. My brain definitely did not see a black poodle, which is what the "person" actually is.

Are you looking at the photo and trying to see it, totally frustrated? The big hint is that the poodle is looking toward the camera. The "hat" on the "person" is the poodle's poofy tail, and the "scarf/stole" is the poodle's head.

Once you see it, it fairly clear, but for many of us, our brains did not process it until it was explicitly drawn out. This outline helps somewhat:

 

As one person explained, the black fur hides the contours and shadows, so all our brains take in is the outline, which looks very much like a person facing away from us.

People's reactions to the optical illusion were hilarious. One person wrote, "10 years later: I still see two dogs and a man."

 

Another person wrote, "I agree with ChatGPT :)" and shared a screenshot of the infamous AI chatbot describing the photo as having a person in the foreground. Even when asked, "Could the 'person' be another dog?" ChatGPT said it's possible, but not likely. Ha.

 

One reason we love optical illusions is that they remind us just how very human we are. Unlike a machine that takes in and spits out data, our brains perceive and interpret what our senses bring in—a quality that has helped us through our evolution. But the way our brains piece things together isn't perfect. Even ChatGPT's response is merely a reflection of our human imperfections at perception being mirrored back at us. They say seeing is believing, but when what we interpret what we're seeing incorrectly, we end up believing things that might not be real.

Sure is fun to play with how our brains work, though. Also a good reminder that what we think we see, even with our own eyes, may not be an accurate picture of reality.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Siggi's is paying $5,000 to encourage Americans to use their paid time off

Americans left a staggering 700 million PTO days unused last year.

Photo credit: Canva

America has a vacation problem.

Paid time off is a sore subject for American workers. Yes, you know about the paid time off sitting in your account. You worked for it. But as the year slips by, each month, it remains unused. Suddenly, it’s nearly the end of summer, with no vacations, no road trips, or even overnight plans to see your favorite cousin on the horizon.

Why? You’ve earned those days fair and square. They’re yours. But with that earned time also comes a nagging guilt, which can take the form of voices saying “I’m too busy,” or “the rest of the team will resent me” when you need to rest the most.


  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

Which brings us to an unexpected champion: siggi’s, the Icelandic yogurt company that’s calling out America’s toxic work culture. In a campaign that’s as refreshing as their skyr (a thick, creamy, high-protein yogurt that hails from founder Siggi Hilmarsson’s home country, Iceland), siggi’s is offering $5,000 plus a $1,000 flight voucher to ten Americans who commit to taking all their paid time off this year. It’s called the “PT-YO Challenge,” and it’s rooted in something that might surprise you—Iceland’s approach to work-life balance and their consistently high rankings in global happiness indexes.

Iceland PTO policies: A model for well-being

While Americans struggle to use their limited vacation days, Iceland has built an entire culture around the importance of rest. Icelandic workers are legally entitled to 24 days of paid vacation per year, regardless of whether they’re part-time or full-time employees. On top of this, Iceland observes 13 public holidays each year (including Christmas Eve, Christmas, and the day after Christmas, which they refer to as “Second Day of Christmas”), bringing Iceland’s total guaranteed time off to at least 37 days.

Sounds nice, right? That’s because it is.


 siggi's, vacation, challenge, skyr, time off siggi's is challenging Americans to use their PTO. All of it. Photo credit: siggi's

Research consistently shows that generous PTO policies like Iceland’s promote employee well-being, reduce burnout, and boost productivity. Countries with robust vacation cultures, like Denmark (which grants workers 25 days of PTO), the United Kingdom (28 days), and France (25 days) report higher job satisfaction, better mental health, and improved organizational loyalty.

So, in Iceland, taking your vacation isn’t seen as slacking off—it’s seen as essential maintenance for both your mental health and your ability to contribute meaningfully when you return.

It’s a virtuous cycle that benefits everyone: rested people are more effective at work. Simple as that.

“As an entrepreneur, I know how hard it is to step away,” said Siggi Hilmarsson, the company’s founder, in a press release. “But stepping away is where the real breakthroughs happen.”

And it’s more than talk. Beyond the PT-YO challenge, siggi’s and its parent company Lactalis Group support and offer a competitive suite of benefits for employees. Upon hire, siggi’s workers are granted automatic PTO days, and can build towards life insurance and a generous 401K plan.

The mantra here? “Life is stressful—but you’ll be surprised by how much simpler it gets when you slow down.”


via GIPHY


America’s PTO problem: Why aren’t we taking time off?

Now, for the not-so-fun part. The contrast with American work culture is stark. Unlike Iceland and most European nations, the United States lacks any federal law mandating paid vacation, personal time, or paid time off for private-sector workers. The average American private-sector worker receives about 12 days of PTO per year, less than half of what Icelandic workers get as a legal minimum. But remember, this only goes for those with full benefits, and many workers (especially low-wage, part-time, or gig employees) get far less or even none.

But here’s the kicker: even those measly 12 days often go unused. A 2024 study found that nearly two-thirds (62%) of Americans do not use all of their PTO, with 5.5% of American workers not using any of their PTO at all. The same study revealed that on average, employees only use 67% of their PTO allocation, leaving 33% behind! How many days is that, collectively? Well, siggi’s did the math.

Americans left 700 million PTO days unused in 2024. That translates to $312 billion in untouched vacation days, just sitting there, relaxing, like you were supposed to be in Saint-Tropez last year. That’s not a typo, by the way. Billion. With a B.


 billboard, time square, new york, siggi's, challenge A billboard in Times Square advertising siggi's PT-YO challenge. Photo credit: siggi's

Dig a little deeper, and the reasons Americans give for not taking time off reveal a fractured work culture that’s filled with complex, overlapping issues and is fundamentally broken.

Marta Turba, WorldatWork’s vice president of content strategy, explains that the top three reasons why American workers struggle to take time are:

  • They lack adequate support and encouragement in this area from their employers.
  • They exhibit a compelling need for job and career security, which often leads to an “always on” mindset.
  • Their organization’s PTO plan designs do not incentivize taking time off.

“While a PTO policy may offer generous benefits, the subtleties of company culture—daily workflows and unspoken expectations—often signal whether taking leave is truly acceptable and how it might impact one’s career,” she continued, to Workspan Daily.

This lack of rest on a nationwide scale has disastrous effects on the working public: research shows that employees who don’t take mental health days are more likely to experience stress and anxiety, as well as health problems, like heart disease, obesity, and depression.


 woman, stressed, work, burnout, corporate Not taking breaks or vacations actually makes you less productive and more stressed. Photo credit: Canva

According to Tim Osiecki, a director at Harris Research, Americans have found themselves in a dysfunctional paradox—as employees continue to work without breaks (and employers enable this behavior), this can lead to burnout, decreased productivity, and increased mistakes. It pays to prioritize your employees’ right to rest, because for companies, the opposite can be disastrous: higher absenteeism rates and reduced job satisfaction/morale, which can lead to a decline in overall performance and loyalty.


siggi’s: A company that puts their money where their mouth is

The PT-YO Challenge isn’t just a marketing stunt—it’s a direct challenge to American work culture.

By offering $5,000 to help cover the costs of taking time off, siggi’s is addressing one of the real barriers Americans face: the expense of taking vacations that keeps so many workers chained to their desks, even when they have the days available.

Ready to join the challenge? Head to siggi’s website to submit your PT-YO request, or start by planning that vacation you’ve been putting off. Your future self will thank you.

NOTE: The deadline to submit to siggi’s PT-YO Challenge is Tuesday, August 5th.


 woman, smiling, vacation, time off, happy This could be you! Enter siggi's challenge today! Photo credit: Canva

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Boomers and Gen Xers share 30 things they don't miss from the 80s and 90s

"Using those Noxzema pads to burn and dry out my pimply face. It had a smell, too."

Images via Canva

Boomers and Gen Xers discuss the things they don't miss from the 1980s and 1990s.

Nostalgia is all about remembering how things were in the "gold old days." But sometimes, upon further reflection, some things really sucked in the past despite how rosy our colored glasses made them look. Boomers and Gen Xers are reminiscing on the things they really don't miss from the 1980s and 1990s.

Over on Reddit, member pizzagamer35 posed the question to Boomers and Gen Xers: "What is something you do NOT miss from the 80s-90s?"

Boomers and Gen Xers had plenty of throwback experiences and products they are happy to never come across again. These are 30 of the most nostalgic responses from Boomers and Gen Xers about things they don't miss about the 80s and 90s.

 landline, landline phone, 90s phone, phone call, retro phone Saved By The Bell Laughing GIF  Giphy  

"Long distance phone bill." —gohdnuorg

"Having to wait until after 7pm or whatever so you could call your long distance friends because it was free after that." —raz0rbl4d3

"Answering the landline and having no idea who's calling. Just raw, unfiltered anxiety." —Fit-Interview-3886

"Not having GPS." —recrysis

"Smoking or non smoking and still be in the smoking section." —Less-Lengthiness4863

 smoking, smoke, cigarettes, smoking section, smoking 90s mothers day smoking GIF  Giphy  

"Using those Noxzema pads to burn and dry out my pimply face. It had a smell, too." —poizon_elff

"Waiting for JPGs to load one line at a time." —timmayd

"Those hair ties with the two giant plastic beads on them that EVERY mom used to tie up their daughter's hair in pigtails. God forbid she lose her grip on one while she was already ripping your soul out through your scalp." —Honey-Badger-90

"Third degree burns from metallic seat belt fasteners." —JLMTIK88

"Not being able to use the internet if someone needed the phone line to be free." —Joshawott27

 internet, internet 90s, dial up internet, old internet, slow internet Girl 90S GIF  Giphy  

"Satanic panic." —Historical_Spot_4051

"Buying a CD and realizing all the songs suck, except for one, maybe two." —11B-E5

"Batteries and flashlight bulbs. Holy crap they were crap. I still remember seeing the little LED light on our shitty car radio and asking dad what kind of light that tiny dot was. He told me it was a diode and diodes kinda 'last forever'. I immediately wondered why the hell we weren't developing that tech." —snoozieboi

"Shoulder pads." —Thin_Apartment_8076

 shoulder pads, shoulder pad, 80s shoulder pads, 90s shoulder pads, vintage style Mc Hammer Dancing GIF by Jukebox Saints  Giphy  

"Ordering pizza by calling the restaurant and yelling your order to a guy in a noisy kitchen. Missing an episode of your favorite TV show (or forgetting to tape it if you had a VCR) and not being able to see it until summer reruns, or maybe never." —Imaginary-List-4945

"Terrible contact lenses." —MandatoryMatchmaker

"To contribute something small: manual computer defragmentation. It took several hours and you couldn't do anything else." —rena-vee

"Pay Phones that gave you limited talk time." —Aggravating-Iron9804

 pay phone, payphone, payphones, payphone, 90s phone Season 3 Marge GIF by The Simpsons  Giphy  

"Gym class. Boys were expected to know how to play sports. My dad taught me how to fix tractors and cut firewood, but he didn't teach me sports because no one ever taught him. The gym teacher didn't teach us sh*t. When we f*cked up or didn't know what to do, the jocks would laugh and the teacher would join in the fun." —Fluffy-Cupcake9943

"The 'heroin chic' body type." —Heartbreak_Star

"Panty hose." —Kitty-haha

"Aqua net=hair that absolutely did not move! And you could see little hairspray bubbles 😔🫠😂😂." — IAmTheBlackStar1979

"Having to rewind VHS tapes like it was a part-time job." -—Repulsive_Corgi_6187

 vhs, vhs tape, vhs rewind, rewinding vhs, vhs rewinding Animated GIF  Giphy  

"Waiting by the radio for your song to play so you can record it on tape." —mycrml

"Serial killers. They just can't exist at the same level anymore. Plus we got all the lead out of stuff. So now people are 100% normal. 100%." —PrimeNumbersby2

"Manual roll up/down windows in cars." —Human-Average-2222

"Carpeted bathrooms. someone shared a bunch of pictures of them on some nostalgia account and i could smell the pictures through my phone 🤢." —GoblinHeart1334

"Busy signal on the phone." —crjconsulting

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Parents share 17 totally unexpected benefits of having children that no one told them about

"Being able to get out of any plans. Literally anything."

via Mickey_Liaw/Flickr, via Canva/Photos, Scott Wolff/Flickr

A child at HOng King Disneyland, a father and son playing video games, and a little girl with Santa Claus.

When you don’t have kids, parents who want to convince you to reproduce often try to sell you on having kids because they provide unconditional love. They also say that being a parent allows you to become more selfless, gives you a sense of real purpose, and allows you to slow down and live in the moment.

However, if those wonderful, life-affirming things don’t sell you on becoming a parent, there are a lot of small, seldom discussed benefits that you never hear from parents, but taken together as a bundle, they can make your life pretty joyous.

A Reddit user asked the Parenting subforum about some of the “unexpected benefits” of having children, and over 2,300 people responded with the small things that they love about having kids. A lot of them have to do with the fun that comes with reliving your childhood. They also enjoy the fact that being a parent gives you an unlimited number of excuses to get out of social obligations.

 mom and daughter, little girl, mom, piggy back, hug, joy A little girl hugging her mom.via Canva/Photos

Here are 17 of the best “unexpected benefits” of being a parent.

1. Getting out of plans

"Being able to get out of any plans. Literally anything."

“'Ooh, sorry, my daughter naps at that time.' Narrator: her daughter hadn’t taken a nap in 3 years."

"They are also a great excuse to leave early. My little girl (bless her heart) starts saying “I want to go home” without fail about 1 hr into visits with my in-laws. She is the perfect child."

2. You can be a kid again

"One benefit I noticed is being able to act like a kid again without people judging. You can dance & be silly with your kids in public & people just think you're an amazing parent for being so fun. But what people don't know is the person can naturally be that silly & fun-loving without being with the kids."

"Went to a wedding recently, and I danced with my 7yo for like 2 hours. We had a blast!"

3. Affection on demand

"Hugs and kisses almost any time you need one."

"My almost 5-year-old loves the love attacks. He'll be doing something only to get peppered with kisses all over his head. 'Silly mommy. I love you,' is what I get."


 son, daughter, hugs, happy mom, mom and daughter, mom and son A son and daughter huigging their mom. via Canva/Photos

4. You're 'tired'

"You’re allowed to be a little antisocial without it being rude because everyone assumes you’re tired."

5. Baby wipes

"Always having a baby wipe in my bag when I spill my own food or drink."

"I'm still carrying wipes even my child is 10. If she is not with me. I still have wipes with me."

6. Social opportunities

"For me, as a fairly social person, just her giving me opportunities to interact with other people when I'm out and about more than I otherwise would. My daughter is only 1, so she only has a few words that she says, but she says 'hi' very clearly, with a wave, and will say hi and wave to literally anyone and everyone, and virtually everyone responds very positively. And there's always just kind of an instant rapport with other parents that you meet in your day-to-day, where it's like, I have no idea if we have anything else in common, but this one important thing is something we share. So even when the kids aren't there, say in my running group, for example, all the moms kind of have this unspoken bond that we wouldn't otherwise have."

7. They improve your organizing skills

"If you're not the most organized person, having to provide structure to another person's life will more or less force you into place, or at least that is my experience. I know where I need to be before 9 AM and before 5 PM, and everything I must do alone on a weekday best be done during those times, and to Tetris my schedule goes lol."

"This is exactly what I'm talking about. Never thought such a good thing would be a consequence of one of the wildest times of your life, parenthood. It's crazy."


8. Cup holders

"Always having cupholders everywhere you go if you're using a stroller."

"Whenever we go back to Disneyland, I miss having a stroller so much. Disneyland with a stroller was such a great way to enjoy the park...places for our drinks, bag clips so I didn't have to lug a bag on my shoulders, the kids could cruise around and just nod off if they got tired without having to complain that their feet/legs were tired from all the walking. So many great benefits."

9. Video games

"I have a (moderately controlling) go-to video game buddy!"

"I got to introduce them to my favorite games and play along with them. There’s a lot of really good kid games we’ve played that I wouldn’t have gotten to play otherwise."

10. Free fruit

"Free fruit in the grocery store. In my country, they leave out bins of free fruit for children. No limit on how much you can take. I always grab a small bag's worth of apples, pears, or oranges for my son. Saves money and he gets fresh fruit."


 boy and girl, supermarket, fruit, cherries, limes, grapes Children grabbing fruit at the market.via Canva/Photos

11. Airport line

"Faster line at a lot of airports, especially if you travel internationally/outside US."

"Just experienced this flying into Nice, France. Dreadfully hot day, long line and then! Children’s line. So lovely."

12. Ending negative cycles

"Drawing the line with toxic people got so much easier."

"I’ve been chasing my dad for 30+ years, trying to get his attention. Had my baby, and he showed up for the first 3ish months, then squeaky tank noises. Hell, if that didn’t infuriate me. I couldn’t do it for myself, but I’ll be fcking had if I let my baby grow up wondering why “papaw” doesn’t come around for him. I’m so sorry bub, your grandpa (my FIL, not my dad) passed away. I wish you could’ve known him, he would have loved you so much."

13. A sense of purpose

"Having a deep feeling of purpose in life. I don’t know if other people expect to get this feeling, but I didn’t. It makes me have a much easier time finding meaning in doing chores and going to work and trying to keep myself healthy."

"I second this. I have lived a pretty wild life tramping around the world. Nothing, and I mean nothing, in the thousands of experiences I have had compare to the meaning I get from being a dad."

14. Joy of Christmas

"Christmas being Christmas again. The joy and traditions all come back full force."


15. Free labor

"I was not expecting how strong my son would become after entering puberty. Last summer, he helped carry so many of our moving boxes. The whole process was a lot less stressful just on the sheer labor he contributed."

16. Brain development

"I felt like I had a lot of new brain pathways after our kids were born. And I find there's a lot I can learn from them."

"So true!"

17. The joy they bring others

"Though my kid drives me CRAZY. Seeing the joy he brings to other people. His smile just lights up everyone's face. Its such a gift that I forget when he's on his 10th meltdown for the day."

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Americans share things they didn’t know were ‘very American’ until they left the U.S.

Some of these are predictable, but some are quite surprising.

Photo credit: Canva

There are things we might not realize are uniquely American until we leave the country.

No matter what country you were born in, what you view as "normal" or "odd" is greatly impacted by your nation's culture. So many things we might not think about are uniquely American, but we may not realize it until we step beyond our borders and immerse ourselves in other countries' norms.

For instance, I’ve never felt more American than I did sitting in a European restaurant impatiently waiting for the check for our meal. In U.S. restaurants, when you’re almost finished eating, the server will usually ask if you want anything else and then give you the check. In most European countries, they won’t bring the check until you explicitly ask for it. Meals are seen as inherently leisurely affairs, no rushing, no pressure to wrap up and leave. While that sounds nice, we were in eat-and-go mode and time was a-wasting—again, so very American.

from AskReddit

Someone on Reddit asked what things people didn’t realize were “very American” until they left the U.S., and the responses are eye-opening. in addition to the eating fast meals thing, here were some of the top answers:

The weirdness of working while sick

It should be a given that you should stay home from work when you're sick. In the U.S., it's not.

“I moved to the Netherlands 8 years ago. Probably the biggest one to me was working while sick. For 20 years I came to work every day unless I physically could not. Like, I had to be so sick I legitimately could not make myself get out of bed. And even then I felt bad.

I wasn’t here for maybe 3 months when I got a cold and my boss came around to my desk and sent me home. I was still in my probation period. I was super worried that if I took a sick day I’d be fired and sent back on a plane to the US, my family mad as shit at me. I told him I’d go home but I’d have my laptop on me.

No, you will go home and rest.

Ok, I’ll be back tomorrow.

NO. You will stay home until you are well. I will not discuss this further.

When I came back well, several days later, my boss sent an American colleague around to talk to me. This guy had been there 10 years. He told me that they don’t want you getting anyone else sick, and 'there’s unlimited sick time for a reason.' So now I’m the one telling new arrivals to use their sick time.”

 calling in sick, sick days, working while sick, illness, flu season Americans are often expected to tough it out and work when they're sick.  Giphy  

“This was me in London. I was just a bartender and I got the flu and was out for like a week. I called in every day apologizing profusely expecting them to replace me and tell me I took too long etc. they got annoyed eventually and told me if I don't stay home until I'm better, even if it's another 2 whole ass weeks, and if I called in again to say I wouldn't be in, that they WOULD fire me being an annoyance. I stayed out for another maybe 4 days and called in to get on the schedule and everything was fine. They thanked me for staying home.”

“Meanwhile in America: School district says doctor’s notes will no longer excuse child absences.”

“At one point they threatened to criminally cite me with truancy for keeping my chronically sick child home on doctors orders. Let that sink in. I had a life-threateningly sick child. Caring for him. Following doctors orders. And was threatened with criminal charges for truancy.”

The delicious bliss that is ranch dressing

If you're looking for the quintessential all-American food, ranch dressing might be it. (And peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as well.)

 ranch dressing, hidden valley ranch, ranch dipping sauce, American  Few foods are more American than ranch dressing Giphy  

“Ranch dressing. Ranch flavored Doritos are still sold, but they’re labelled ‘American flavor.’”

“Side note... Hidden Valley Ranch is THE ranch that invented the dressing. It's just neat we call it ranch dressing because the people that crafted the recipe owned a ranch, called Hidden Valley, and now the dressing is ‘Ranch’ dressing.”

"I have a coworker from a ranchless country. Every couple years, we work a gig together, and I’ll bring some ranch from the US because they love it lol."

"My fiancee told me the other day that other countries don't have ranch. Call me basic, but it's my favorite dressing for salads, carrots, cucumbers, etc"

"This is what I was going to say. I'm from Wisconsin and we love our ranch dressing. I live in the Horn of Africa now and it's impossible to come by. Luckily, there's a French grocery store here that sells a small bottle of some brand I've never heard of so I stock up.

My (Djiboutian) girlfriend saw that I stocked the fridge and she asked if I 'was making a sandwich' while holding the bottle and I just said 'Oh, dear. That goes on everything.'"

 billboard, advertisement, highway, ads, driving Billboards can be found on highways in many U.S. states.Photo credit: Canva

Those big, gaudy billboards along the highway

This is not only in the U.S., and some states have banned them, but we do seem to have a thing for big advertisements.

“Truly one of the most underrated, disappointing things about the US. I wish they were banned in more states.”

“What is really fun is going down 75S and seeing all the adult superstore ads right next to all the religious hellfire ads.”

“My absolute favorite are the digital signs above the highways that tell you not to text and drive, while giving you a number to text for more info.”

The fact that we drive almost everywhere

Sure, we have public transportation. But that doesn't mean it's convenient or even an option for many Americans.

“Here in the US, outside of big cities, it's pretty much required to drive a car. When I lived abroad for a few years I was able to survive completely off public transport, the occasional taxi, and walking on my own two feet.”

 cars, driving, america, freeways, highways The U.S. highway system is well developed because we have to drive most places.Photo credit: Canva

“Yeah, my partner is from Massachusetts and I (British) saw there was a grocery store less than a mile away and figured I could walk there, as I usually would at home.

I could not walk there.”

“I took a business trip to Richardson, Texas, an inner-ring suburb of Dallas, about 10 years ago (I worked in Chicago)

I remember staying at a hotel and having to go to our Texas office out there.

From the hotel, I could SEE the office. As the crow flies, 5 minute walk, TOPS!

It took me 30+ minutes to get there WITH A CAR!!!”

“I'm British and I lived in Wisconsin for a while. People became immediately suspicious of me when I told them I don't drive and never have. I actually had to come up with reasons to explain (which I do have) in order for them to be somewhat pacified. But I definitely felt held in a different regard subsequently; for in the UK driving is a choice, in America however, I was under the impression that they thought something was wrong with me.”

 soda, pop, large soda, portion sizes, American soda, diet coke The size of our sodas is legendary  Giphy GIF by Jukebox Saints 

The super size of our sodas

Yes, we know. This might be the most predictable response, but it's also a fact.

“I am in North America on vacation at the moment and I definitely made a mistake ordering a large drink at McDonald's. Turns out 'large' on this side of the Atlantic is about twice as big as the 'large' back home. Even the US medium-sized drink is bigger than the largest available in Europe.”

"Never order a large drink in the US unless you want a half gallon drink."

"Try ordering a large drink at a movie theater over here. They basically just hand you a portable bathtub filled with enough sugar to give an elephant diabetes."

"Yeah don’t get soda over here they’ll try to drown you in it. Enough soda for a full week served in a bucket."

"Yes, but do you fill your cups up with ice where you are from? I think U.S. soft drinks are larger to account for all the ice."

(The fact that we put ice in all our drinks is also oh-so-American.)

 printer, printer paper, A4 paper, letter paper, 8.5 x 11, printing Americans use letter sized paper while most of the world uses A4. Photo credit: Canva

The size of our printer paper, apparently?

We know that letter paper is 8.5 in x 11 in, but that's not the size of paper most of the world prints on. Most use A4, which is 8.27 in x 11.69 in. Much like our commitment to empirical measurements over the metric system, this causes issues when we interact with the rest of the world.

"Letter-size paper vs A4 paper."

"I work part time at Staples, in the print and marketing department. Can't tell you how many times I've had folks from other countries ask why their documents were cut off when they made copies. They're always baffled that we don't use the same paper sizes, which I get. It's especially irritating because A4 is SO CLOSE to 8.5x11."

'Worked for an internal law firm in Canada back when everyone printed and signed documents in person. Had a lot of fun with the mix of letter, legal and A4 paper that we'd get on some deals. Especially irritating when sharing a printer and someone prints on your special order A4 paper before you do."

 printer, printer paper, A4 paper, letter paper, 8.5 x 11, printing Printing on slightly different paper sizes makes for mishaps.  Giphy  

"This was fairly frustrating when I was applying for my Taiwanese dual citizenship. I would get documents formatted for different countries, and if I don't check the settings and scale it appropriately before I hit the print button, I'd get an error message, and I had to print out at least 50 pages of stuff.

Also, for instance, my birth certificate, federal background check, and some other papers printed in the US are in Letter size, but once they got authenticated by the Taiwanese government, the authentication certificate they'd staple to it is A4, and the folder it's contained in looked a little lopsided and sloppy, and it's mildly frustrating and hilarious to try to arrange it neatly."

"I had a job where the Belgium office made an app that was hard coded to use A4 paper. If you printed on US Letter paper it would print a little on the 2nd page. Such a weird programming choice."

The competitiveness of our high school and college sports

Or the fact that we even have competitive high school and college sports teams, apparently.

 football, college football, sports, high school sports, college sports The American hype around college football is nearly equivalent to the pros.  Giphy  

"I think this is a big one. Most Americans expect/understand American football and baseball aren't played in European high schools, but a lot of them probably assume high schools still have large soccer stadiums and programs. And that colleges would also have soccer programs. But athletics is mostly an independent entity from academic institutions."

"There was a split in the 1800's where america went with extracurricular sports and europe went with club sports and rec leagues."

"Absolutely insane to me how many people are fervently, truly fanatically obsessed with their college sports teams. Whenever I say the NCAA should be its own minor-league organization and completely separate from schools people act like I told them to bury their own family alive."

"As an Australian, Americans' obsession with literal teenagers playing amateur sports for their school always struck me as deeply weird."

The awesomeness of our 'sink blenders'

The best part of this one is what everyone calls them.

 garbage disposal, insinkerator, kitchen sink, American kitchens, food grinder Grinding up food scraps in the sink is an all-American habit.Photo credit: Canva

"Garbage disposers."

"Disposals."

"Garburators."

"Disposaraters."

"Dispogarbagiozers."

"Insinkerators. Actual brand name."

"I love the first time I saw a European talking about one on reddit and they called it a 'sink blender.'"

"I was going to say this. When my now-wife visited me in the US, she was both enthralled and terrified of mine. Now that I'm in Canada, I find out that it is illegal to have one in some parts!"

 american flags, americans, friendly americans, talking to strangers, chitchat Americans are known for their willingness to chit chat. Photo credit: Canva

The way we shoot the breeze with strangers—and loudly

We're allegedly a friendly bunch, and we let everyone within earshot know it.

"Chit chat, Americans can start conversations with random strangers & feel completely normal to share their stories."

"I was working retail in Stockholm for a while and one of my coworkers told me she was surprised by how many customers wanted to chitchat with me, because 'we don’t do that, generally.'"

"I'll never forget the feeling of wanting to melt into the earth because I asked for a light for a cigarette on a street in London. The number one reason I enjoyed smoking was all the new friends you can make just by both being smokers. I honestly have no idea why Brits smoke if they don't want to make new friends."

"The loudness. My fellow Americans talk SO LOUD ALL THE TIME."

"I was in Amsterdam last week and all I could hear were Americans talking so loudly. There were so many of them as well… Or maybe it was the same group talking so loud I could hear them from different parts in the city."

"It's crazy, I was in Utrecht the other day. There's probably 150 people drinking outside enjoying the sun and chatting and you can still easily spot the American from a distance so loud."

"Yeah that's the first thing that hit me arriving into JFK from the UK, I knew about the stereotype but honestly wasn't prepared! I feel like at some point in history you had a deaf leader and everyone just went along with it similar to the King of Spain's lisp."

For better and for worse, being an American comes with some distinct qualities we might not see until we venture elsewhere. What would you add to the list?

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