Still think the Civil War wasn’t fought over slavery? The Confederate states would disagree.

Was the Civil War fought over slavery or states’ rights? People love to debate this question, and many seem to believe it’s a matter of opinion. But the truth is there’s no debate to be had. We don’t have to conjecture. We know that the Confederate states’ primary motive was maintaining the right to enslave…

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Photo credit: Ryan Schultz/Creative CommonsArray

Was the Civil War fought over slavery or states’ rights? People love to debate this question, and many seem to believe it’s a matter of opinion.


But the truth is there’s no debate to be had. We don’t have to conjecture. We know that the Confederate states’ primary motive was maintaining the right to enslave black people because they said so themselves.

We have the primary documents that explain, in detail, why Confederates wanted to break off from the U.S., and they are eye-opening to say the least. Even those who already understand slavery to be the primary cause of the Civil War may be shocked to see how blatantly and proudly the Southern states announced their intention to defend white supremacy and their right to own black people.

MARCH 21, 1861 SPEECH BY VICE PRESIDENT OF THE CONFEDERACY, ALEXANDER STEPHENS

First let’s take a look at a speech given by Alexander Stephens, Vice President of the Confederacy, just a few weeks before the Civil War officially began. After describing some details of the Confederacy’s Constitution, Vice President Stephens stated that slavery was the “immediate cause” of the South’s “revolution.”

“But not to be tedious in enumerating the numerous changes for the better, allow me to allude to one other though last, not least. The new constitution has put at rest, forever, all the agitating questions relating to our peculiar institution, African slavery as it exists amongst us – the proper status of the negro in our form of civilization. This was the immediate cause of the late rupture and present revolution. Jefferson in his forecast, had anticipated this, as the ‘rock upon which the old Union would split.’ He was right. What was conjecture with him, is now a realized fact.”

I mean, he said it right there. Slavery of black people was the “immediate cause” of secession and the impending war.

But he didn’t stop there. No, he laid out the entire racist foundation of the new government in no uncertain terms.

The prevailing ideas entertained by him [Jefferson] and most of the leading statesmen at the time of the formation of the old constitution, were that the enslavement of the African was in violation of the laws of nature; that it was wrong in principle, socially, morally, and politically. It was an evil they knew not well how to deal with, but the general opinion of the men of that day was that, somehow or other in the order of Providence, the institution would be evanescent and pass away . . . Those ideas, however, were fundamentally wrong. They rested upon the assumption of the equality of races. This was an error. It was a sandy foundation, and the government built upon it fell when the ‘storm came and the wind blew.’

Our new government is founded upon exactly the opposite idea; its foundations are laid, its corner-stone rests, upon the great truth that the negro is not equal to the white man; that slavery—subordination to the superior race—is his natural and normal condition. This, our new government, is the first, in the history of the world, based upon this great physical, philosophical, and moral truth.”

Hmmm, so the South literally founded the Confederate government on the idea that slavery wasn’t just acceptable, but that black people were actually supposed to be enslaved. This was stated plainly and proudly.

Need a moment? Yeah, me too. Take a deep breath, because we’re just getting going here.

RELATED: This West Point colonel will tell you what the Civil War was really about.

Moving on, Stephens called the Northern abolitionists “fanatics,” saying, They assume that the negro is equal, and hence conclude that he is entitled to equal privileges and rights with the white man. If their premises were correct, their conclusions would be logical and just but their premise being wrong, their whole argument fails. . . .

There’s more.

With us, all of the white race, however high or low, rich or poor, are equal in the eye of the law. Not so with the negro. Subordination is his place. He, by nature, or by the curse against Canaan, is fitted for that condition which he occupies in our system.”

Stephens then went on to explain how God designed humanity so that one race would be subordinate to another, and that going against slavery is going against “the ordinance of the Creator.”

It seriously could not be more clear: The Confederates were proud white supremacists who wanted to build a country around that ideal.

Lest anyone argue that this was just one speech or just one man’s opinion, or that maybe Stephens didn’t speak for the whole Confederacy (despite being Vice President of it), let’s look at what the Confederate states themselves said.

DECLARATION OF THE CAUSES OF SECEDING STATES, 1861

In addition to the Ordinances of Secession announcing the departure of each of the Confederate states from the U.S., a handful of Southern states issued a Declaration of the Causes of Seceding States, explaining in detail why they felt they needed to leave the Union.

You can read the document in its entirety here, but let’s take a look at some highlights. (The first thing to note is that some iteration of the word “slave” appears 83 times in these declarations. So, yeah.)

GEORGIA

Right out of the gate, Georgia let everyone know that slavery is at the forefront of its concerns. The second sentence of their declaration reads:

For the last ten years we have had numerous and serious causes of complaint against our non-slave-holding confederate States with reference to the subject of African slavery.”

Okay then.

As we read through Georgia’s lengthy history lesson of how the states got to this point, it’s worth noting that they rarely referred to the “Northern” and “Southern” states. Instead, they referred to “non-slaveholding states” and “slave-holding states.” That alone ought to be a clue as to their motivations.

But if that’s not enough, here’s where Georgia stated that the Republican Party’s anti-slavery stance justified its decision to leave the Union.

A brief history of the rise, progress, and policy of anti-slavery and the political organization into whose hands the administration of the Federal Government has been committed will fully justify the pronounced verdict of the people of Georgia. The party of Lincoln, called the Republican party, under its present name and organization, is of recent origin. It is admitted to be an anti-slavery party. While it attracts to itself by its creed the scattered advocates of exploded political heresies, of condemned theories in political economy, the advocates of commercial restrictions, of protection, of special privileges, of waste and corruption in the administration of Government, anti-slavery is its mission and its purpose. By anti-slavery it is made a power in the state. The question of slavery was the great difficulty in the way of the formation of the Constitution.

While the subordination and the political and social inequality of the African race was fully conceded by all, it was plainly apparent that slavery would soon disappear from what are now the non-slave-holding States of the original thirteen.”

Finally, they summed up how racial equality and the prohibition of slavery, being the primary concern of the non-slaveholding states, was something they simply would not abide.

The prohibition of slavery in the Territories, hostility to it everywhere, the equality of the black and white races, disregard of all constitutional guarantees in its favor, were boldly proclaimed by its leaders and applauded by its followers.

With these principles on their banners and these utterances on their lips the majority of the people of the North demand that we shall receive them as our rulers.

The prohibition of slavery in the Territories is the cardinal principle of this organization.

For forty years this question has been considered and debated in the halls of Congress, before the people, by the press, and before the tribunals of justice. The majority of the people of the North in 1860 decided it in their own favor. We refuse to submit to that judgment, and in vindication of our refusal we offer the Constitution of our country and point to the total absence of any express power to exclude us.”

Thank you, Georgia, for clarifying your position.

MISSISSIPPI

Again, right out the gate, Mississippi told everyone that slavery is their main reason for seceding. Here’s how their declaration begins, no sentences skipped:

“In the momentous step which our State has taken of dissolving its connection with the government of which we so long formed a part, it is but just that we should declare the prominent reasons which have induced our course.

Our position is thoroughly identified with the institution of slavery—the greatest material interest of the world.”

Once they made that clear, they explained how they simply couldn’t live without slavery because black people were made to tend their crops.

“Its labor supplies the product which constitutes by far the largest and most important portions of commerce of the earth. These products are peculiar to the climate verging on the tropical regions, and by an imperious law of nature, none but the black race can bear exposure to the tropical sun. These products have become necessities of the world, and a blow at slavery is a blow at commerce and civilization. That blow has been long aimed at the institution, and was at the point of reaching its consummation. There was no choice left us but submission to the mandates of abolition, or a dissolution of the Union, whose principles had been subverted to work out our ruin. That we do not overstate the dangers to our institution, a reference to a few facts will sufficiently prove.”

Mississippi just stated that their only choices were to give up slavery or secede. And if that still seems unclear somehow, here are some of the “facts” they included for why they couldn’t stay in the Union:

“It has grown until it denies the right of property in slaves, and refuses protection to that right on the high seas, in the Territories, and wherever the government of the United States had jurisdiction.

“It refuses the admission of new slave States into the Union, and seeks to extinguish it by confining it within its present limits, denying the power of expansion.”

“It has nullified the Fugitive Slave Law in almost every free State in the Union, and has utterly broken the compact which our fathers pledged their faith to maintain.”

“It advocates negro equality, socially and politically, and promotes insurrection and incendiarism in our midst.”

“It has made combinations and formed associations to carry out its schemes of emancipation in the States and wherever else slavery exists.”

How can anyone say that the war wasn’t about slavery at this point?

SOUTH CAROLINA

South Carolina’s declaration started off sounding like it was all about “FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES,” as they used that all-caps phrase repeatedly in recounting the history of why the colonies broke off from England. But when they got into their specific grievances with the Union, guess what they complained about. Yup, slavery.

The General Government, as the common agent, passed laws to carry into effect these stipulations of the States. For many years these laws were executed. But an increasing hostility on the part of the non-slaveholding States to the institution of slavery, has led to a disregard of their obligations, and the laws of the General Government have ceased to effect the objects of the Constitution.

They went on and on about non-slaveholding states trying to control their “property” and “institutions.” We could guess what they meant by that, but we don’t have to because they told us.

“Those States have assume [sic] the right of deciding upon the propriety of our domestic institutions; and have denied the rights of property established in fifteen of the States and recognized by the Constitution; they have denounced as sinful the institution of slavery; they have permitted open establishment among them of societies, whose avowed object is to disturb the peace and to eloign the property of the citizens of other States. They have encouraged and assisted thousands of our slaves to leave their homes; and those who remain, have been incited by emissaries, books and pictures to servile insurrection.

They even got specific about states that passed anti-slavery laws, which they claimed went against the Constitution.

“The State of New Jersey, at an early day, passed a law in conformity with her constitutional obligation; but the current of anti-slavery feeling has led her more recently to enact laws which render inoperative the remedies provided by her own law and by the laws of Congress. In the State of New York even the right of transit for a slave has been denied by her tribunals; and the States of Ohio and Iowa have refused to surrender to justice fugitives charged with murder, and with inciting servile insurrection in the State of Virginia. Thus the constituted compact has been deliberately broken and disregarded by the non-slaveholding States, and the consequence follows that South Carolina is released from her obligation.”

Again, South Carolina was clear that the North’s hostility toward slavery was what drove them to break away, thereby leading to war.

TEXAS

Ah, Texas. If you thought the deep south was the only place that gleefully celebrated the enslavement of black people, take a look at the Lone Star State’s declaration. It’s a doozy.

RELATED: A school assignment asked for 3 benefits of slavery. This kid gave the only good answer.

First, here’s how Texas described being accepted into the Confederacy:

“She [Texas] was received as a commonwealth holding, maintaining and protecting the institution known as negro slavery—the servitude of the African to the white race within her limits—a relation that had existed from the first settlement of her wilderness by the white race, and which her people intended should exist in all future time.

So, not only is white people enslaving black people fine and dandy—it’s a subjugation that should go on forever and ever. Got it.

“In all the non-slave-holding States, in violation of that good faith and comity which should exist between entirely distinct nations, the people have formed themselves into a great sectional party, now strong enough in numbers to control the affairs of each of those States, based upon an unnatural feeling of hostility to these Southern States and their beneficent and patriarchal system of African slavery, proclaiming the debasing doctrine of equality of all men, irrespective of race or color– a doctrine at war with nature, in opposition to the experience of mankind, and in violation of the plainest revelations of Divine Law. They demand the abolition of negro slavery throughout the confederacy, the recognition of political equality between the white and negro races, and avow their determination to press on their crusade against us, so long as a negro slave remains in these States.”

Sorry, I need to pause for a second. “Their beneficent and patriarchal system of African slavery”? And “the debasing doctrine of equality of all men”? The state of Texas said here that equality was not just unnatural but against God’s law. We all know that racism was the standard of the day, but I don’t think most of us were taught how deeply held these white supremacist beliefs were in the South’s own words.

And again, they weren’t done.

We hold as undeniable truths that the governments of the various States, and of the confederacy itself, were established exclusively by the white race, for themselves and their posterity; that the African race had no agency in their establishment; that they were rightfully held and regarded as an inferior and dependent race, and in that condition only could their existence in this country be rendered beneficial or tolerable.”

Still not done…

“That in this free government *all white men are and of right ought to be entitled to equal civil and political rights* [emphasis in the original]; that the servitude of the African race, as existing in these States, is mutually beneficial to both bond and free, and is abundantly authorized and justified by the experience of mankind, and the revealed will of the Almighty Creator, as recognized by all Christian nations

“Mutually beneficial to both bond and free.” Oh yes, those lucky slaves, living just as the Almighty intended.

If you wonder why people see the Confederate flag as a racist symbol, this is why. If you wonder why honoring the leaders of the Confederacy with monuments and holidays is horrifically problematic, this is why.

We have it straight from the Confederates’ mouths. The Civil War was fought because the South wanted the right to keep slavery and the North wanted to abolish it. People can say it was about states’ rights, but it’s disingenuous to omit the primary moral, political, and economic right the South was fighting to maintain—the legal and systematic subjugation and enslavement of black people.

They seriously could not have been any clearer about it.

  • The ‘Knight Rider’ car somehow got a speeding ticket even though museum owners swear it hasn’t moved in years
    Photo credit: Morn, NBC Universal, Wikimedia CommonsDavid Hasselhoff, left, and his car KITT from "Knight Rider."

    “Give me every ounce of turbo boost you’ve got,” Michael Knight often demanded of his black Pontiac Firebird Trans Am, KITT.

    If you didn’t grow up glued to television (like much of Gen X), this is a reference to the NBC hit show Knight Rider, starring David Hasselhoff as Knight. Its first incarnation ran from 1982 to 1986 and featured the crime-fighting Knight alongside his well-ahead-of-its-time talking car, KITT, short for Knight Industries Two Thousand. (In a later reboot of the series, KITT stood for Knight Industries Three Thousand.)

    So imagine everyone’s surprise when KITT was allegedly spotted by traffic cameras driving 36 miles per hour in a 25 mph zone in Brooklyn on April 22. Or was it KITT? A car was seen zipping through a New York City intersection with a California plate that read KNIGHT.

    Where is the real KITT?

    The only issue? The speeding ticket was sent to the Volo Museum in Illinois, which has a replica of the KITT car on display. A spokesperson for the museum took to Facebook to share the mix-up:

    “Well, this is a new one… we got this in the mail today. This is 100% legit. A traffic camera captured Knight Rider’s KITT speeding down the streets of New York City. The camera captured the novelty license plate (not a real plate…and also a California plate). Their official system ties the novelty plate to Volo Museum and we got a bill for $50! You can’t make this up! Our KITT hasn’t moved from our museum in years! Does anyone have Hasselhoff’s number? He owes us $50!!!!”

    WABC-TV reports that the “summons, complete with a picture from a traffic camera, was sent to the Volo Museum in Volo, Illinois, where a black 1982 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am replica of the TV show car is on display. It linked the KNIGHT license plate to the museum’s display vehicle. The museum has requested a hearing to dispute the ticket.”

    Turbo boost

    Of the more than 20 KITT cars built for the series, only five remain. According to Road & Track:

    “KITTs were made out of 1982, 1983, and 1984 Trans Ams, as well as base Firebird hardtops. Transmissions got swapped for Turbo 350 3-speeds, brake line locks were added, as well as some additional bracing, while the team used as much body filler as the panels would take.

    The second-to-last KITT ever built started out as an ’84 base hardtop before taking up the role of a disposable stunt car. Yet after the show, NBC chose this example to be retrofitted with their sound stage dashboard, T-tops, and all the things children would expect to see once they put it on display at their theme park.”

    “KITT’s been out traveling and breaking the law”

    So why was Volo Museum in Illinois on the hook for a California-plated car? Theories and jokes abound. One Facebook user commented under the museum’s post, “You THINK that KITT hasn’t moved in years, but you forget KITT can drive anywhere he wants without Michael Knight. KITT’s been out traveling and breaking the law.”

    And this case of mistaken identity isn’t unique. Another commenter added, “There’s a guy in southern Indiana who drives his KITT on a novelty plate while going through a toll bridge into Kentucky. Since I have a legitimate Indiana KNIGHT plate, they charge his tolls to my EZ-Pass.”

    KITT conspiracy theories

    On a Reddit thread titled, “Museum’s ‘Knight Rider’ replica car got a speeding ticket. It hasn’t gone anywhere in years,” commenters were quick with the nostalgic jokes. “I think there is an obvious answer. This car is a Brum, and every night it drives out into the big city on adventures,” one user wrote.

    This Redditor shared the story of someone reportedly trying to evade speeding tickets: “There’s a story about an engineer who tried to be clever and got the plate ‘NULL’ in the hopes of avoiding tickets (if you’re not aware, NULL is used in some databases as a way of saying ‘no data’). He ended up with every ticket that didn’t have a plate number attached to it.”

    Another user jokingly quoted KITT, writing, “I do not understand how you’ve managed to get us a speeding ticket without even being in motion, Michael.”

    Will the real KITT please stand up?

    As for the real KITTs? The remaining five cars used in the series have been spread among various museums and private owners. One famous car enthusiast, Jay Leno, got to take a ride in Joe Huth’s fabulous ride and even featured it on his show Jay Leno’s Garage.

    It’s possible that if KITT were asked for comment about this whole affair, he might repeat one of his more memorable lines: “Really, some people are simply too much.”

  • 9 fascinating Colonial-era words to brush up on for America’s 250th birthday
    Photo credit: CanvaSigning of the Declaration of Independence.
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    9 fascinating Colonial-era words to brush up on for America’s 250th birthday

    The word “vulgar” had a different meaning than it does today.

    On July 4, the United States of America will celebrate its 250th birthday. Called the “semiquincentennial,” the day will commemorate 250 years since the Declaration of Independence was signed.

    Of course, English was spoken by colonial Americans, and they had a distinctive accent that was unique to the newly formed country.

    Surprisingly, they did not sound British. That’s because by the time of the Revolutionary War, two new generations had been born on American soil, according to JSTOR.

    British English and American English began to develop separately. An English tourist commented on the colonial American dialect in 1770:

    “The colonists are composed of adventurers, not only from every district of Great Britain and Ireland, but from almost every other European government…Is it not therefore reasonable to suppose that the English language must be greatly corrupted by such a strange admixture of various nations? The reverse is however true. The language of the immediate descendants of such promiscuous ancestry is perfectly uniform, and unadulterated; nor has it borrowed any provincial, or national accent from its British or foreign parentage.”

    9 interesting Colonial American words

    Many words from colonial America have faded from the modern-day lexicon. But a book from 1785 titled The Vulgar Tongue by author Francis Grose documented slang used during colonial times. The book was reprinted over the years, including an updated version titled 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue.

    The word “vulgar” had a different meaning than it does today. “Vulgar” meant “common” or “ordinary,” according to Merriam-Webster.

    Here are nine fascinating colonial-era words to add to your lexicon:

    Adam’s ale

    This is another word for water. According to Merriam-Webster, its origins are “after the biblical Adam; from its being provided by nature and thus presumably being the only drink in the Garden of Eden.” The term’s first known use was in 1643.

    Altitudes

    This is another word for drunk. According to the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, it means “the man is in his altitudes, i.e. he is drunk.”

    Arsy yarsey

    According to the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, it means “to fall arsy varsey, i.e. head over heels.”

    Merriam-Webster defines it as “backside forward; head over heels; topsy-turvy.” It goes on to add that the word is “a non-reduplicative (yet still very cheeky) equivalent of arsy-varsy would be the expression ass over teakettle. However, arsy-varsy may be used as both adverb (modifying an action, as in the first example below) or an adjective (modifying a noun, as in the second) meaning ‘topsy-turvy’ or ‘disordered.’”

    Calibogus

    Surprisingly, this is the name of a colonial drink. According to the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, it means “rum and spruce beer, American beverage.” It may also have been sweetened with molasses, according to Merriam-Webster.

    Carroty-pated

    This is another word for a redhead. According to the Collins Dictionary, “carroty” means “a reddish or yellowish-orange colour; having red hair.” The word “pated” means “having a (specified kind of) pate, or head.”

    Caudge-pawed

    This is another word for left-handed, according to the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue.

    Flam

    According to the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, it means “a lie, or sham story: also a single stroke on a drum. To flam; to hum, to amuse, to deceive. Flim flams; idle stories.”

    While it was used in colonial times, its history dates further back. Merriam-Webster explains:

    “‘Flimflam’ first entered English as a noun meaning ‘deceptive nonsense’ in the second half of the 16th century. A sense meaning ‘deception’ or ‘fraud’ soon developed. The verb use didn’t show up until well into the next century. In addition to general deceiving or tricking, the verb ‘flimflam’ is often used specifically to refer to swindling someone out of money. The ultimate origin of ‘flimflam’ is uncertain, but the word is probably of Scandinavian origin and may be related to the Old Norse flim, meaning ‘mockery’.”

    Huzza

    This celebratory word was chanted during colonial times. According to the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, it means “said to have been originally the cry of the huzzars or Hungarian light horse; but now the national shout of the English, both civil and military, in the sea phrase termed a cheer; to give three cheers being to huzza thrice.”

    American colonists also adopted the word. According to Dr. Tyler Putman at the Museum of the American Revolution, it also had a surprising pronunciation: hu-ZAY (like “hooray”), not hu-ZAH (like “hoorah”).

    Oyster

    This word had a second meaning besides the shellfish. According to the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, it means “a gob of thick phlegm, spit by a consumptive man; in law Latin, UNUM [one] VIRIDUM [green] GOBBUM [lump or mass].”

  • Eric Church’s guitar-as-life metaphor UNC commencement speech strikes a universal chord
    Photo credit: Townsquare Media/Wikimedia CommonsEric Church playing guitar on stage.
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    Eric Church’s guitar-as-life metaphor UNC commencement speech strikes a universal chord

    “The right partner is the string that makes the whole chord ring fuller, and warmer, and truer than anything you could ever play alone.”

    Writing a commencement speech in 2026 must be tough. Thousands of graduation speakers have come and gone, offering pithy bits of wisdom and advice, much of which feels recycled and overused by this point. How do you come up with a message that feels new and fresh?

    If you’re Eric Church, you pull out your guitar and offer a metaphor for life that hits all the right notes. The country music superstar spoke to the 2026 graduates of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, but most of his speech felt universal. Some are calling it the best commencement speech they’ve ever heard.

    Church said he struggled to write his speech and tore up many drafts before picking up his guitar and realizing what he wanted to say. He started by describing and demonstrating an out-of-tune chord.

    “Some ancient, honest part of your brain knows it immediately,” he said. “You don’t need training to hear it. You just know. That sound is the sound of something beautiful that has not been tended to.”

    He talked about the power of a six-string chord that’s in tune and how just one string being off causes the whole chord to unravel.

    “Not gradually, not politely,” he said. “The moment you strike it, you know. I believe your life runs on this principle, and I’m going to break it down for you right now and tell you about your strings.”

    String #1 = Faith

    Church said the lowest, thickest, and heaviest string on the guitar—the low E—is the foundation: “Every chord a guitar can make rests on this string being in tune.”

    guitar, guitar strings, faith
    Faith is the foundation string. Photo credit: Canva

    “Your faith is the low E of your life,” he said. “The thing that sits at the very bottom of you. Your belief about what this life is for, what you owe, what holds the universe together when science reaches the edge of its own explanation and shrugs.”

    He explained that faith gives people a foundation to return to throughout life’s difficulties.

    “The world will try to untune this string,” he said, “through busyness, through slow accumulation of a full schedule, a full inbox, a full life. Listen to me. Tend to your faith, not just when you’re broken, but when you’re whole.”

    String #2 = Family

    Church said the A string is your family, “who has loved you longer than you’ve been easy to love” and “who saw you at your actual worst, not your public-facing worst, and didn’t leave you.”

    Your family has made sacrifices and cried over you, wondering whether they’d done enough.

    “The A string is where the music starts to get warm,” he said. “It gives a chord its body, its richness. It’s the string that makes you feel like you’re not alone in a room.”

    family, graduate, graduation
    Family adds richness to life. Photo credit: Canva

    Church warned the students that they were about to become very busy in their post-graduation lives.

    “And family, because they will love you with a grace you will spend most of your life trying to deserve, will rarely demand your time,” he said. “They’ll tell you they understand, and they’ll mean it. Do not take them up on it. Call your people. Not when there’s news, not when there’s nothing. Show up when it costs you something. Let them see you when things are hard. The A string is not a holiday string. It’s an everyday string. Protect it.”

    String #3 = Your spouse/partner

    The D string, Church said, is the heart of a chord—the string that gives a chord its body and soul.

    marriage, partner, spouse
    Choose your life partner wisely. Photo credit: Canva

    “Strike a full chord and the D string is what you feel in the center of your chest,” he said. “That is not an accident. That is exactly what the right spouse and partner will do for your life.”

    Outside of your faith, choosing a life partner is the most important decision you’ll ever make, Church said. “They will either amplify every other string you’re playing, or slowly pull the whole instrument into an out-of-tune mess,” he added. “The right partner is the string that makes the whole chord ring fuller, and warmer, and truer than anything you could ever play alone. Choose them wisely, and then love them fiercely.”

    String #4 = Ambition and resilience

    Church pointed out that the G string drifts faster than the other strings on a guitar and frequently needs to be retuned.

    “Both ambition and resilience live on this string, and they pull in opposite directions,” he said. “I want you to want things. You should want things. The world has more than enough people standing at the edge of their own potential, waiting for a permission slip that was never gonna arrive. Want the thing. Say it out loud. Build toward it with everything you have. And when you fail, and you will fail…get back up, tune the string, and keep playing.”

    String #5 = Community

    “Your generation faces a temptation no generation before has ever faced,” Church said. “The temptation to perform for everyone and belong to no one. To be globally visible and locally invisible. To have thousands of followers, and no one knows actually where you live.”

    “Resist this,” he advised. “Plant yourself somewhere. Put down roots with the full intention of growing there. Learn the actual names, not usernames, of the people around you. Volunteer. Coach the team. Build the thing your community needs, even if the Internet will never see it. Generosity is not something you do after you make it; it’s how you make it.”

    String #6 = Your uniqueness

    The high E string is the one that carries the melody—the single line above the chord that people recognize.

    “It’s also the one bent most easily by outside pressure,” Church said. “Social media is going to show you a thousand versions of a life that looks better than yours. The comparison will be relentless, curated, and a lie dressed up in really good lighting. Someone’s comments, someone’s criticism, someone’s cold opinion is going to try to convince you to retune yourself to match what they think you should sound like. Do not let them touch your string.”

    “You were made uniquely, wonderfully, distinctly,” he continued. “There’s a sound only you can make, a voice that has never existed before you and will never exist again. A contribution only you can bring. A way of seeing that belongs only to you. The world does not need another cover song. It needs an original.”

    Life is about retuning when any of these strings drift

    Church ended his speech by explaining that when these six strings—the principles and pillars of your life—are in tune, then “the chord your life makes is full and resonant and true.”

    “All six will drift,” he warned. “Not one or two. All six, in their own time, in their own season. Your faith will go quiet when you need it loud. Your family will get complicated in a way only the people who love you most can complicate things. You will go through hard seasons with your spouse. Your ambition will hollow out, and your resilience will wear thin. Your community will start to feel like an obligation. And your world will try to sand down the edges of exactly who you are.”

    “This is not failure,” he continued. “This is not weakness. It’s the inevitable, universal experience of living in an imperfect world that doesn’t stop to let us tune up. And the difference between a life that sounds like music and a life that sounds like noise is whether you stop and listen, whether you’re honest enough to hear which string has drifted out of tune and humble enough to make the adjustment, instead of just turning up the volume and hoping nobody notices. Because you will notice. The part of you that knows what the chord should sound like will always notice. It will not let you go. Life won’t be right until it is tuned. Trust what your heart hears and is telling you about your song.”

    What a beautiful way to send these graduates out into the world. And what a great reminder for the rest of us to stop and adjust our own strings when we hear our chord falling out of tune.

  • She bought the perfect wedding dress that went viral on TikTok, for $3.75
    Photo credit: TikTok Making a priceless memory.
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    She bought the perfect wedding dress that went viral on TikTok, for $3.75

    Lynch is part of a growing crowd of newlyweds going against the regular wedding tradition of spending loads of money.

    At first glance, one might think that Jillian Lynch wore a traditional (read: expensive) dress to her wedding. After all, it did look glamorous on her. But this bride has a secret superpower: thrifting.

    Lynch posted her bargain hunt on TikTok, sharing that she had been perusing thrift shops in Ohio for four days in a row, with the actual ceremony being only a month away. Lynch then displays an elegant ivory-colored Camila Coelho dress that fits her perfectly and still brand new with the tags on it, no less.

    She found it at a thrift shop

    You can find that exact same dress on Revolve for $220. Lynch bought it for only $3.75. The bride-to-be’s video quickly went viral, racking up 2.6 million views. People were floored that Lynch was able to find such a huge deal on a dress that seemed to be made just for her.

    “Honestly, brides pay 1000s of dollars to look that good in a white slip dress like that, I think you’re rocking it & it’s perfect,” complimented one person.

    OK, maybe it did cost her a little more than $3.75. In an interview with Business Insider, Lynch disclosed that she did make some customizations based on suggestions from the comments including ”elevating” the gown with non-adjustable shoulder straps, taking in the waist and adding a “demure” bit of lace to the front slit.

    Altogether, those alterations totaled out to $110. Add to that some $8 shoes (also thrifted, of course) and Lynch still created an entire wedding look for only $113.75. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a steal.

    Turns out, spending less might be the smarter move

    Lynch is part of a growing line of newlyweds going against the regular wedding tradition of spending loads of money and she might be better off for it. Research has shown that when it comes to creating happy long-lasting marriages, frugality often beats extravagance.

    According to a recent article in Brides, popular wedding planning site Zola predicts the average wedding cost is $36,000 for 2025. The numbers have been rising steadily over the last five years. Brides cites Brooke Ashivay, owner of Orange Blossom Special Events, who said that “comparing a 2019 wedding budget with one from 2024 at a similar venue and guest count, [we] observed an approximately 30 percent increase in costs,” likely due to increased demand after the worst of the COVID-19 pandemic. Not only that, but the average wedding dress now costs $2,000 according to The Knot. Weddings are supposed to be fun, celebratory and joyous, but it can be hard to feel any of those things when financial stress is involved. Who would want to start off a (hopefully) lifelong partnership that way? Save that money for the honeymoon, I say! Or the gas station!

    She did keep one tradition, though

    Still, Lynch didn’t say no to every wedding tradition. As she walked down the aisle in her gorgeous discounted gown, looking like a Grecian goddess, her father walked right alongside her. “I could see how much it meant to him, and it actually ended up meaning a lot to me,” she told Business Insider.

    And perhaps most important of all, Lynch felt good in her own skin on her big day. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt that great in something. That’s what brides should feel on their wedding day, like they’re at their peak beautiful self. That’s exactly how I felt when I put it on.”

    It doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg to make lasting memories. And when you are able to show up for life’s big moments authentically, that feeling is priceless.

    This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

  • A homeless man returns a pet dog’s stolen ashes to their owner. It’s changing his life.
    Photo credit: Kathryn Michie via GoFundMeKathryn Michie and Chris Engdahl, left, and a flyer.

    When Holly and Brandon Dunn’s car was broken into, the stolen items were ones they thought they’d never get back. The thief took a bag containing the ashes of their late chihuahua named Tia. The thief also took Tia’s ceramic paw prints and a memorial stuffed-animal replica of the beloved pup. Two weeks later, the items were found and returned. Now the Seattle community is chipping in to reward the hero with a fresh start.

    Brandon explained to KING-TV that the couple was unable to have children, so Tia had been their furry kid throughout their 20-year relationship.

    “It’s a bit cliche, I guess, comparing a dog to a child. But, you know, for us that was my child,” he said.

    The search was on

    The Dunns put up flyers offering a reward for the return of the ashes and memorial items. Folks on social media and Reddit offered to help search and put up additional flyers in the Seattle area. There were even people willing to 3D-print a replica of Tia’s paw prints to replace the original ones.

    A hero reaches out

    Two weeks later, the unlikely happened. The items were found and returned by a homeless man named Chris Engdahl.

    For the past seven years, Engdahl had been living unhoused in the Seattle area. He made a living off what he could find and sell from dumpsters. It was in a random dumpster that Engdahl found Tia’s ashes, paw prints, and stuffed replica. Engdahl knew the items had sentimental value and held onto them in hopes of finding their owner. After seeing one of the flyers, Engdahl texted Brandon’s phone number and made sure the Dunns got Tia’s remains back.

    The Seattle community chips in

    Engdahl didn’t want a reward from the couple and was just happy that a fellow dog lover got their precious memorial items back. The Dunns had already moved out of the state. However, they and the Seattle community still wanted to do something to help Engdahl.

    Kathryn Michie, a person who helped post flyers for the Dunns, started a GoFundMe for Engdahl to help restart his life. As of this writing, Engdahl has recently moved into his first apartment, and the GoFundMe has raised more than $6,700. The money will be used to help Engdahl get furniture and other supplies. Some of the money will also go toward food for his new dog, Reo, whom he recently rescued from the street. Altogether, it will help Engdahl’s new place feel more like home.

    “I just got off the phone with Chris and he’s absolutely floored with the support from this community!” Michie wrote in a May 6 update on the GoFundMe page. “Thank you to everyone who is changing his life for the better. He is such an angel and deserves all the help!”

    Kindness and support from an entire community helped recover lost items, house someone in need, and create a new life for a dog, too.

  • Woman tests drive-thru barista by tipping him $1 for every second he listens to daughter’s story
    Photo credit: Martina and Alexa/InstagramA mother-daughter duo shares a nice tip with a Starbucks barista.
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    Woman tests drive-thru barista by tipping him $1 for every second he listens to daughter’s story

    “Every second they listen, the tip goes up $1. They don’t know that.”

    Imagine passing a test with flying colors when you didn’t even know you were taking one. A mother-daughter duo, known as Martina and Alexa, visits fast-food and coffeehouse drive-thrus. The person serving them is then, in a sense, given a test of their kindness, often revealing the most wholesome side of humanity.

    The way it works is this: The mother-daughter duo purchases food and drinks at drive-thrus such as Starbucks, Carl’s Jr., and Wendy’s. When they’re given their items, the daughter begins telling a story. As explained in the videos, “Every second they listen, the tip goes up $1. They don’t know that.”

    One video stands out

    They have many fun examples on TikTok and Instagram. But one recently truly stood out.

    A blond man appears in the Starbucks drive-thru window, cheerfully greeting the pair. “Hi! Here we are!” While the mother counts out one-dollar bills on her lap, her daughter, sporting bright red long hair, begins telling a story with the most adorable uptick: “One time at school? We had a science project about health? And I went up there? And like I talked for five minutes about how sugar was bad for you?”

    While the story goes on, the barista smiles warmly and occasionally says, “Right, uh huh,” to keep her at ease. She continues: “But on the actual day? After school, I went and I bought a donut? To test if sugar is bad for you. So yeah. Because I can’t present information without data and all of that, so yeah. Also, I have a snake at home? She’s a ball python? And she’s so cute. Her name is Frosty!”

    The barista enthusiastically asks, “Really?” She continues, “Yeah, and sometimes she likes her tank.” At this point, Mom cuts her off, and the barista hands over a drink. “Can I give you a tip?” she asks while handing him $30. “Oh my gosh! Thank you. Are you sure?”

    The whole exchange exemplifies pure kindness. But it gets even better. Turns out the barista is Dale B. Pirofsky. And there was something about him they just couldn’t forget, nor could the viewers who saw the video.

    The duo behind the videos thought they’d pay his kindness forward not just with a big tip, but with the hope of helping him raise money for a car. They started a GoFundMe, where they shared:

    “When we met Dale, there was something about him that immediately stood out – his kindness, his warmth, his humor, and the kind of positive energy that you can feel right away. He truly has one of those bright souls that makes people smile without even trying.

    After we shared the video, Dale became a favorite across social media in just a few days. It has been so special to see how many people connected with him through the screen. So many of you saw exactly what we saw in person – his genuine heart, his sweet personality, and the joy he brings into a simple moment.

    Many people reached out asking how they could support him financially, so we contacted Dale directly. After speaking with him and getting his permission, we decided to create this GoFundMe in his name. Dale shared with us that he has been working two jobs to save up for his very first car. This fundraiser is not an emergency request – it is simply a way for anyone who feels moved by Dale’s story to support a goal he has already been working so hard toward.”

    “Everyone deserves to be heard”

    Upworthy had the chance to chat with Dale, who shared how grateful he was for the whole encounter.

    When asked what he thought when she started telling the story, he said he was happy to listen. “Whenever someone wants to talk to me, especially children, I always try to listen,” he said. “I grew up—and honestly still struggle—with feeling unheard or unacknowledged, so I always try to make someone who needs to chat feel heard.”

    He didn’t suspect it was a test or a prank. “Honestly? I probably would have should the context of the story been something less engaging!” he said. “But considering she was talking about her school project, I figured it was something she was super proud of! Everyone deserves to be heard about what they are enthusiastic about.”

    This has been his biggest tip so far. “As a barista, the thirty-dollar tip definitely takes the cake!” he said. “Although, I did have to share it with my fellow baristas, and I’m in no way, shape, or form unhappy about that. My coworkers have been nothing but supportive of me, and they totally deserved a little something!”

    As for the duo, they remain rather mysterious. But what he does know is how good they made him feel. “They are a family of sweet-hearted people,” he said. “This family has absolutely turned my life upside down over the last week, and I am so grateful for all the support I’ve been given! It’s nice to see my enthusiasm and smile have made so many people so happy. It’s a dream of mine I can finally say I’ve achieved.”

  • Dad stuns bride with a recording of her accurately describing her future wedding at 4 years old
    Photo credit: CanvaSome weddings are full of surprises.

    Lots of kids imagine their wedding day when they are little in all kinds of creative ways. But few have those childhood imaginings recorded, and even fewer have them unearthed on their actual wedding day.

    But one bride was surprised by just that at her own wedding reception, and in the absolute sweetest way. During the father-daughter dance, as the Beach Boys crooned out “God Only Knows,” suddenly a man’s voice came over the speaker. “Tell me about your wedding,” it said.

    A child’s voice responded: “My wedding is gonna have clowns dancing with the children, and a moon bounce, and face painting…when the brides all change into costumes, they go in the moon bounce.”

    @jordannrose1

    I could not stop crying!! 🥹🤍full backstory: my parents found a video from when I was 4 years old talking shout my future wedding, where I named my childhood friends as my bridesmaids that were in attendance, and said Max would be my husband…. While I didn’t meet Max until college it was kismet!! They edited that clip into our father daughter dance and totally surprised everyone including me!!! ❤️ #fatherdaughterdance #wedding #bride #2026bride #2026wedding @absocialstudio

    ♬ original sound – jordan

    The child was Jordan, the bride, at four years old, and the man’s voice was her dad.

    “Who are the brides gonna be?” preschooler Jordan’s dad asked.

    “The brides are gonna be silly princesses,” Jordan responded. She said they would be named Gracie, Rachel, Kelly (or Ketti?), and Sarah.

    “And what about the princes?” her dad asked. “Who are the princes going to be?”

    “Oh, you mean all the boys?” little Jordan asked. “They’re gonna be silly superheroes!”

    wedding, marriage, flower girl
    Little girl dressed up for a wedding. Photo credit: Canva

    But when Dad asked who they were, no one expected her little voice to cry out, “Max! Max! Max!”

    Max, Jordan’s real-life adult groom, who was listening to all of this, was gobsmacked—as in full-on, wide-eyed, jaw-to-the-floor shocked. Jordan herself was blown away.

    “No way!” Max said. “No way. No way!”

    Jordan wrote the backstory in the TikTok caption: “My parents found a video from when I was 4 years old talking about my future wedding, where I named my childhood friends as my bridesmaids that were in attendance, and said Max would be my husband…. While I didn’t meet Max until college it was kismet!! They edited that clip into our father-daughter dance and totally surprised everyone including me!!!”

    @jordannrose1

    5.2.26 🤍💍🤵🏼👰🏻‍♀️🥂 married my best friend! wedding content by the amazing @absocialstudio #wedding #bride #2026bride #2026wedding #lajolla

    ♬ original sound – jordan

    People loved the clever, creative weaving of the audio into the father-daughter dance. And of course, commenters adored the groom’s stunned reaction:

    “You just KNOW your dad has been planning that since the moment you said ‘Dad, this is Max.’”

    “Just sobbing over a girl who manifested her entire life without knowing it.”

    “This is the most beautiful invisible string story I’ve ever heard of.”

    “The fact your husband was crying before he even heard his name said… a REAL one!! Congratulations!”

    “I am BAWLING RIGHT NOW. literally the definition of ‘in every lifetime.’”

    Of all the uses of childhood videos at a wedding, this one might be the most creative and meaningful yet. Congratulations to the adorable couple, who were so clearly meant for one another.

    You can follow Jordan on TikTok.

  • Family of 7 takes in 82-year-old widower neighbor as their new ‘grandpa’
    Photo credit: via USA Today Paul Callahan, 82, with the Caraballo family.
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    Family of 7 takes in 82-year-old widower neighbor as their new ‘grandpa’

    “You get many chances to talk to people. If you don’t take a chance, you may miss a friend.”

    In 2022, the Caraballo family welcomed a new member: their neighbor from across the street, Paul Callahan, who was 82 at the time. Callahan, a widower, lost his wife prior to the Caraballos moving in. It makes sense their new neighbor was feeling lonely, but a beautiful friendship was on the way. After their initial meeting, Callahan quickly became like a grandfather to the Caraballos, a family of seven, and the story went viral. Various publications and news outlets covered the heartwarming blended family and they were even invited to appear on Good Morning America and The Kelly Clarkson Show.

    South West News Service first reported the whole story, writing that when Sharaine, then 32, and Wilson Caraballo, then 42, moved their family of seven into a new home in Pawtucket, Rhode Island in 2022, they weren’t sure how they’d be received. “Our biggest fear moving into a new neighborhood was, ‘What if our neighbors don’t like us?’ What if, because we have a lot of kids, they make a lot of noise and we come from a big family, so what if there’s any conflict with the neighbors?” Sharaine told USA Today. “We’re the only Black family in our neighborhood.”

    Then their neighbor showed up with a ladder

    But all that fear quickly dissipated when their new neighbor, Callahan, showed up with a ladder and offered to help the family spruce up their new home.

    “He was coming over with tools. He’d bring screwdrivers and teach Wilson how to fix up the garage, and Wilson followed all his advice,” Sharaine told South West News Service. The octogenarian soon became a fixture at the Caraballo house. Now, Callahan stops by nearly every day and can always be found at the family’s cookouts, gatherings, and holidays.

    He’s not the neighbor anymore, he’s family

    Callahan has become a great friend to the family’s children, whom he entertains with stories from his past. “The kids run up to him like that’s their grandfather,” Sharaine said. “Paul is definitely a family member. He’s no longer considered a neighbor.”

    Callahan believes that it’s all about taking the time to be friendly.

    “You get many chances to talk to people. If you don’t take a chance, you may miss a friend,” Callahan said. “It doesn’t hurt to be nice. That’s the other thing, it costs you nothing, but a lot of times, you get a better return.”

    The story went viral, and for good reason

    Sharaine keeps her well-wishers updated on the doings of her family, including Callahan, on her Instagram page. Though she hasn’t posted about Callahan specifically since their mini media storm, she keeps posts about their story and media appearance pinned to the top of her page for all to see.

    This article originally appeared three years ago.

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