Still think the Civil War wasn’t fought over slavery? The Confederate states would disagree.

Was the Civil War fought over slavery or states’ rights? People love to debate this question, and many seem to believe it’s a matter of opinion. But the truth is there’s no debate to be had. We don’t have to conjecture. We know that the Confederate states’ primary motive was maintaining the right to enslave…

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Photo credit: Ryan Schultz/Creative CommonsArray

Was the Civil War fought over slavery or states’ rights? People love to debate this question, and many seem to believe it’s a matter of opinion.


But the truth is there’s no debate to be had. We don’t have to conjecture. We know that the Confederate states’ primary motive was maintaining the right to enslave black people because they said so themselves.

We have the primary documents that explain, in detail, why Confederates wanted to break off from the U.S., and they are eye-opening to say the least. Even those who already understand slavery to be the primary cause of the Civil War may be shocked to see how blatantly and proudly the Southern states announced their intention to defend white supremacy and their right to own black people.

MARCH 21, 1861 SPEECH BY VICE PRESIDENT OF THE CONFEDERACY, ALEXANDER STEPHENS

First let’s take a look at a speech given by Alexander Stephens, Vice President of the Confederacy, just a few weeks before the Civil War officially began. After describing some details of the Confederacy’s Constitution, Vice President Stephens stated that slavery was the “immediate cause” of the South’s “revolution.”

“But not to be tedious in enumerating the numerous changes for the better, allow me to allude to one other though last, not least. The new constitution has put at rest, forever, all the agitating questions relating to our peculiar institution, African slavery as it exists amongst us – the proper status of the negro in our form of civilization. This was the immediate cause of the late rupture and present revolution. Jefferson in his forecast, had anticipated this, as the ‘rock upon which the old Union would split.’ He was right. What was conjecture with him, is now a realized fact.”

I mean, he said it right there. Slavery of black people was the “immediate cause” of secession and the impending war.

But he didn’t stop there. No, he laid out the entire racist foundation of the new government in no uncertain terms.

The prevailing ideas entertained by him [Jefferson] and most of the leading statesmen at the time of the formation of the old constitution, were that the enslavement of the African was in violation of the laws of nature; that it was wrong in principle, socially, morally, and politically. It was an evil they knew not well how to deal with, but the general opinion of the men of that day was that, somehow or other in the order of Providence, the institution would be evanescent and pass away . . . Those ideas, however, were fundamentally wrong. They rested upon the assumption of the equality of races. This was an error. It was a sandy foundation, and the government built upon it fell when the ‘storm came and the wind blew.’

Our new government is founded upon exactly the opposite idea; its foundations are laid, its corner-stone rests, upon the great truth that the negro is not equal to the white man; that slavery—subordination to the superior race—is his natural and normal condition. This, our new government, is the first, in the history of the world, based upon this great physical, philosophical, and moral truth.”

Hmmm, so the South literally founded the Confederate government on the idea that slavery wasn’t just acceptable, but that black people were actually supposed to be enslaved. This was stated plainly and proudly.

Need a moment? Yeah, me too. Take a deep breath, because we’re just getting going here.

RELATED: This West Point colonel will tell you what the Civil War was really about.

Moving on, Stephens called the Northern abolitionists “fanatics,” saying, They assume that the negro is equal, and hence conclude that he is entitled to equal privileges and rights with the white man. If their premises were correct, their conclusions would be logical and just but their premise being wrong, their whole argument fails. . . .

There’s more.

With us, all of the white race, however high or low, rich or poor, are equal in the eye of the law. Not so with the negro. Subordination is his place. He, by nature, or by the curse against Canaan, is fitted for that condition which he occupies in our system.”

Stephens then went on to explain how God designed humanity so that one race would be subordinate to another, and that going against slavery is going against “the ordinance of the Creator.”

It seriously could not be more clear: The Confederates were proud white supremacists who wanted to build a country around that ideal.

Lest anyone argue that this was just one speech or just one man’s opinion, or that maybe Stephens didn’t speak for the whole Confederacy (despite being Vice President of it), let’s look at what the Confederate states themselves said.

DECLARATION OF THE CAUSES OF SECEDING STATES, 1861

In addition to the Ordinances of Secession announcing the departure of each of the Confederate states from the U.S., a handful of Southern states issued a Declaration of the Causes of Seceding States, explaining in detail why they felt they needed to leave the Union.

You can read the document in its entirety here, but let’s take a look at some highlights. (The first thing to note is that some iteration of the word “slave” appears 83 times in these declarations. So, yeah.)

GEORGIA

Right out of the gate, Georgia let everyone know that slavery is at the forefront of its concerns. The second sentence of their declaration reads:

For the last ten years we have had numerous and serious causes of complaint against our non-slave-holding confederate States with reference to the subject of African slavery.”

Okay then.

As we read through Georgia’s lengthy history lesson of how the states got to this point, it’s worth noting that they rarely referred to the “Northern” and “Southern” states. Instead, they referred to “non-slaveholding states” and “slave-holding states.” That alone ought to be a clue as to their motivations.

But if that’s not enough, here’s where Georgia stated that the Republican Party’s anti-slavery stance justified its decision to leave the Union.

A brief history of the rise, progress, and policy of anti-slavery and the political organization into whose hands the administration of the Federal Government has been committed will fully justify the pronounced verdict of the people of Georgia. The party of Lincoln, called the Republican party, under its present name and organization, is of recent origin. It is admitted to be an anti-slavery party. While it attracts to itself by its creed the scattered advocates of exploded political heresies, of condemned theories in political economy, the advocates of commercial restrictions, of protection, of special privileges, of waste and corruption in the administration of Government, anti-slavery is its mission and its purpose. By anti-slavery it is made a power in the state. The question of slavery was the great difficulty in the way of the formation of the Constitution.

While the subordination and the political and social inequality of the African race was fully conceded by all, it was plainly apparent that slavery would soon disappear from what are now the non-slave-holding States of the original thirteen.”

Finally, they summed up how racial equality and the prohibition of slavery, being the primary concern of the non-slaveholding states, was something they simply would not abide.

The prohibition of slavery in the Territories, hostility to it everywhere, the equality of the black and white races, disregard of all constitutional guarantees in its favor, were boldly proclaimed by its leaders and applauded by its followers.

With these principles on their banners and these utterances on their lips the majority of the people of the North demand that we shall receive them as our rulers.

The prohibition of slavery in the Territories is the cardinal principle of this organization.

For forty years this question has been considered and debated in the halls of Congress, before the people, by the press, and before the tribunals of justice. The majority of the people of the North in 1860 decided it in their own favor. We refuse to submit to that judgment, and in vindication of our refusal we offer the Constitution of our country and point to the total absence of any express power to exclude us.”

Thank you, Georgia, for clarifying your position.

MISSISSIPPI

Again, right out the gate, Mississippi told everyone that slavery is their main reason for seceding. Here’s how their declaration begins, no sentences skipped:

“In the momentous step which our State has taken of dissolving its connection with the government of which we so long formed a part, it is but just that we should declare the prominent reasons which have induced our course.

Our position is thoroughly identified with the institution of slavery—the greatest material interest of the world.”

Once they made that clear, they explained how they simply couldn’t live without slavery because black people were made to tend their crops.

“Its labor supplies the product which constitutes by far the largest and most important portions of commerce of the earth. These products are peculiar to the climate verging on the tropical regions, and by an imperious law of nature, none but the black race can bear exposure to the tropical sun. These products have become necessities of the world, and a blow at slavery is a blow at commerce and civilization. That blow has been long aimed at the institution, and was at the point of reaching its consummation. There was no choice left us but submission to the mandates of abolition, or a dissolution of the Union, whose principles had been subverted to work out our ruin. That we do not overstate the dangers to our institution, a reference to a few facts will sufficiently prove.”

Mississippi just stated that their only choices were to give up slavery or secede. And if that still seems unclear somehow, here are some of the “facts” they included for why they couldn’t stay in the Union:

“It has grown until it denies the right of property in slaves, and refuses protection to that right on the high seas, in the Territories, and wherever the government of the United States had jurisdiction.

“It refuses the admission of new slave States into the Union, and seeks to extinguish it by confining it within its present limits, denying the power of expansion.”

“It has nullified the Fugitive Slave Law in almost every free State in the Union, and has utterly broken the compact which our fathers pledged their faith to maintain.”

“It advocates negro equality, socially and politically, and promotes insurrection and incendiarism in our midst.”

“It has made combinations and formed associations to carry out its schemes of emancipation in the States and wherever else slavery exists.”

How can anyone say that the war wasn’t about slavery at this point?

SOUTH CAROLINA

South Carolina’s declaration started off sounding like it was all about “FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES,” as they used that all-caps phrase repeatedly in recounting the history of why the colonies broke off from England. But when they got into their specific grievances with the Union, guess what they complained about. Yup, slavery.

The General Government, as the common agent, passed laws to carry into effect these stipulations of the States. For many years these laws were executed. But an increasing hostility on the part of the non-slaveholding States to the institution of slavery, has led to a disregard of their obligations, and the laws of the General Government have ceased to effect the objects of the Constitution.

They went on and on about non-slaveholding states trying to control their “property” and “institutions.” We could guess what they meant by that, but we don’t have to because they told us.

“Those States have assume [sic] the right of deciding upon the propriety of our domestic institutions; and have denied the rights of property established in fifteen of the States and recognized by the Constitution; they have denounced as sinful the institution of slavery; they have permitted open establishment among them of societies, whose avowed object is to disturb the peace and to eloign the property of the citizens of other States. They have encouraged and assisted thousands of our slaves to leave their homes; and those who remain, have been incited by emissaries, books and pictures to servile insurrection.

They even got specific about states that passed anti-slavery laws, which they claimed went against the Constitution.

“The State of New Jersey, at an early day, passed a law in conformity with her constitutional obligation; but the current of anti-slavery feeling has led her more recently to enact laws which render inoperative the remedies provided by her own law and by the laws of Congress. In the State of New York even the right of transit for a slave has been denied by her tribunals; and the States of Ohio and Iowa have refused to surrender to justice fugitives charged with murder, and with inciting servile insurrection in the State of Virginia. Thus the constituted compact has been deliberately broken and disregarded by the non-slaveholding States, and the consequence follows that South Carolina is released from her obligation.”

Again, South Carolina was clear that the North’s hostility toward slavery was what drove them to break away, thereby leading to war.

TEXAS

Ah, Texas. If you thought the deep south was the only place that gleefully celebrated the enslavement of black people, take a look at the Lone Star State’s declaration. It’s a doozy.

RELATED: A school assignment asked for 3 benefits of slavery. This kid gave the only good answer.

First, here’s how Texas described being accepted into the Confederacy:

“She [Texas] was received as a commonwealth holding, maintaining and protecting the institution known as negro slavery—the servitude of the African to the white race within her limits—a relation that had existed from the first settlement of her wilderness by the white race, and which her people intended should exist in all future time.

So, not only is white people enslaving black people fine and dandy—it’s a subjugation that should go on forever and ever. Got it.

“In all the non-slave-holding States, in violation of that good faith and comity which should exist between entirely distinct nations, the people have formed themselves into a great sectional party, now strong enough in numbers to control the affairs of each of those States, based upon an unnatural feeling of hostility to these Southern States and their beneficent and patriarchal system of African slavery, proclaiming the debasing doctrine of equality of all men, irrespective of race or color– a doctrine at war with nature, in opposition to the experience of mankind, and in violation of the plainest revelations of Divine Law. They demand the abolition of negro slavery throughout the confederacy, the recognition of political equality between the white and negro races, and avow their determination to press on their crusade against us, so long as a negro slave remains in these States.”

Sorry, I need to pause for a second. “Their beneficent and patriarchal system of African slavery”? And “the debasing doctrine of equality of all men”? The state of Texas said here that equality was not just unnatural but against God’s law. We all know that racism was the standard of the day, but I don’t think most of us were taught how deeply held these white supremacist beliefs were in the South’s own words.

And again, they weren’t done.

We hold as undeniable truths that the governments of the various States, and of the confederacy itself, were established exclusively by the white race, for themselves and their posterity; that the African race had no agency in their establishment; that they were rightfully held and regarded as an inferior and dependent race, and in that condition only could their existence in this country be rendered beneficial or tolerable.”

Still not done…

“That in this free government *all white men are and of right ought to be entitled to equal civil and political rights* [emphasis in the original]; that the servitude of the African race, as existing in these States, is mutually beneficial to both bond and free, and is abundantly authorized and justified by the experience of mankind, and the revealed will of the Almighty Creator, as recognized by all Christian nations

“Mutually beneficial to both bond and free.” Oh yes, those lucky slaves, living just as the Almighty intended.

If you wonder why people see the Confederate flag as a racist symbol, this is why. If you wonder why honoring the leaders of the Confederacy with monuments and holidays is horrifically problematic, this is why.

We have it straight from the Confederates’ mouths. The Civil War was fought because the South wanted the right to keep slavery and the North wanted to abolish it. People can say it was about states’ rights, but it’s disingenuous to omit the primary moral, political, and economic right the South was fighting to maintain—the legal and systematic subjugation and enslavement of black people.

They seriously could not have been any clearer about it.

  • Millennials are ditching ‘boring grey’ for this joyful mid-century color
    Photo credit: Mike Shaw, Wikimedia CommonsRetro '50s-styled bathroom.
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    Millennials are ditching ‘boring grey’ for this joyful mid-century color

    Just a few tweaks can bring this look into every bathroom.

    Everything old is pink again, to paraphrase a famous adage. This applies even in bathrooms. Neutral colors have ruled the interior design of powder rooms for quite some time. But some Millennials (and Gen X-ers too) are ready to swap the greys and tans for vintage pops of mid-century pinks, yellows, and bright greens.

    While of course Millennials had their own brand of pink (which has been popular since around 2016,) they did often flock to neutral colors, perhaps for a sense of serenity. But as is the case for all generations, it can be fun to dabble back into the vintage pool.

    Where did these bright colors come from?

    In the piece “The Retro ‘50s Pink Bathroom is Back and Designers are Giving it a Deluxe New Twist,” Contributing Lifestyle Reporter Wendy Rose Gould shares the history of the design. “Pink bathrooms are an icon of mid-century Americana, rising in popularity from the 1940s through the 1960s. Pam Kueber, founder of the original ‘Save the Pink Bathrooms’ website (now called Retro Renovation), writes that pink was the single-most popular color for bathrooms in the 1950s. And that an estimated 5 million pink bathrooms went into the 20+ million homes built in the United States from 1946 to 1966.”

    The “Save the Pink Bathrooms” movement Gould is referring to was the brainchild of Kueber, who felt that builders and designers were getting rid of historical mid-century design too quickly. On her site, Kueber claims that, like other fans of the style, they were concerned that “original vintage pink bathrooms were being ripped out of post-war American homes way too hastily.”

    This of course didn’t just apply to bathrooms. The site, as previously mentioned, became Retro Renovation. It gives all kinds of tips on how to bring kitchens, bedrooms, and dining rooms restored to a long, lost era.

    Adding a modern twist

    But back to those bathrooms, the vintage color pops are coming back swiftly. In a piece for Better Homes and Gardens, E-design Consultant Maria Sabella shares that as is the case with most resurgences of old designs, there can be a modern twist. “When you think of retro bathrooms, chances are you picture floral print wallpapers and salmon pink tiles. While these iconic features are making an updated comeback (spoiler alert!), experts say nostalgic decor classics are returning in a more stylish form.”

    She quotes design expert Daniel Siegel, who gives excellent tips on how to pair the old with the new. “When paired with clean lines, thoughtful lighting, and modern details, these retro touches feel timeless rather than trendy.”

    Retro wallpaper patterns

    While not everyone can re-tile a bathroom, especially renters or those who don’t have tons of remodeling money laying around, there are super easy ways to grab the vibe.

    Wallpaper is one simple way to jump on the retro train. The article shares designer Thecla Glueck’s thoughts on the trend. “Layered thoughtfully, retro and vintage-inspired patterns bring intimacy and warmth, transforming the bathroom into a cocooning retreat rather than a purely functional environment.” She even adds specific patterns, noting, “Checkerboard in classic black and white marble or jewel-tone checks, small geometric shapes such as penny rounds or hexagon, pastel mosaics, floral, or softly faceted subway, are returning with a more restrained, contemporary lens.”

    Easy ways to bring in the look

    Skirted sinks are also an easy way to bring back the mid-century flair. In another quote, Glueck explains how useful these can be. “They discreetly conceal storage and reinforce the idea of the bathroom as a thoughtfully designed room, not just a utilitarian space.”

    Oval mirrors are mentioned as well, as something that can be mixed and matched into a room without commitment. The same goes for accessories like tissue boxes and perfume caddies. Pinks, buttery yellows, greens, and blues can all be mixed and matched to create a more vibrant feel without spending too much money.

  • Welfare check on a 91-year-old woman ends with funny twist police never saw coming
    Photo credit: CanvaAn older woman plays a video game.

    Many communities are trying to provide quality attention and care to their elderly residents. For example, seniors in Westlake, Ohio, can sign up for a program that provides frequent welfare checks. But when the police were sent on a welfare check for a 91-year-old woman after multiple unanswered phone calls, they couldn’t have expected a better, funnier result.

    The woman was safe and sound in her bedroom, playing video games

    “Everyone was a little bit alarmed that she was missing these contacts,” Westlake Police captain Jerry Vogel told News 5 Cleveland. “It turned out to be okay. Everyone got a good laugh out of it.”

    The elderly gamer was a part of Westlake’s “Are You Okay?” program for senior citizens and other qualified residents. Upon signing up, elderly residents receive a daily phone call to answer, ensuring that they are safe and okay. If the call goes unanswered, the police do a welfare check. After multiple missed calls, including a follow-up from police dispatch and one from the woman’s daughter, the police entered the woman’s home to find her trying to beat her record in a “bubble pop” video game.

    The police and the woman both laughed in relief, and the woman thanked the police for checking in through the “Are You Okay?” service. To protect her privacy, the police shut off their body cams and aren’t releasing the 91-year-old gamer’s identity.

    Seniors are a growing demographic in video gaming

    While this welfare check ended in a funny result, the police shouldn’t have been too shocked to see a person over 90 playing a video game. In fact, seniors are a growing demographic in video gaming. An Entertainment Software Association report found that 28% of gamers in the United States are over the age of 50.

    The reasons why more elderly people play video games are numerous. Some play video games involving hunting, fishing, bowling, etc., since they can continue their favorite pastimes regardless of their mobility or accessibility. Other older gamers play to connect with their grandkids or just younger people in general.

    There are also studies showing and encouraging seniors to play video games for health benefits, including improving their social lives through in-person or online gaming. Some games are mentally challenging, helping seniors’ cognitive health as well.

    So the next time you log in to play Call of Duty, Minecraft, Fortnite, or another game online, there’s a chance that one of the people you’re playing with could be a senior. Who knows? It could be a 91-year-old woman in Westlake.

  • ‘Hecka tight, bra’: Millennial teacher bridges generational gap by translating ’90s slang to Gen Z speak 
    Photo credit: CanvaA teacher's lesson on 1990s slang.

    These days, there’s a lot of love for the 1990s, especially among younger generations, who fantasize about the last decade before smartphones and social media upended society. In fact, a 2023 study found that 60% of American Gen Z adults “wished they could return to a time before everyone was ‘plugged in.’”

    Kaity Broadbent, a microschool teacher and head of learning at Prenda, had a really fun lesson with her students by showing them the parallels in slang among Gen Zers, Gen Xers, and Millennials who were young during the golden era of the 1990s.

    The interesting thing about her lecture is that it showed how young people, regardless of generation, create their own slang terms for the same words.

    In her Instagram Reel, Broadbent bridged the generational divide by noting that “bruh,” a popular term among Gen Z and Gen Alpha, sounded different in the ’90s, when it was pronounced “bra,” like the ladies’ undergarment. Although the pronunciation is different, the meaning is the same. She put it in a sentence, asking her students to say, “Hecka tight, bra.” (It seems she substituted “hella” for “hecka” to be more classroom-appropriate.)

    She also introduced her students to the term that kids in the ’90s used to reveal they’d fooled someone: “Psych!” which is a shorter version of saying, “Psyched you out.”

    She then rattled off some of the ’90s greatest hits:

    • “As if” (Cher from Clueless, you paying attention?)
    • “You da bomb” — a phrase meaning that someone is great or incredibly attractive. 
    @aliciasilverstone

    Ugh! As if… I wouldn’t join TikTok. 😉💛😘 #Clueless #AsIf

    ♬ Ugh… As if – Alicia Silverstone
    • She also noted that kids from the ’90s had their own version of one of Gen Z’s most popular slang phrases for questionable people or things. “So, instead of sus, we would say sketch,” she said in a very studious tone.
    • “I gotta bounce” or “I’m outtie” means that you have to leave. Extra ’90s points: If you’ve ever said, “I gotta go, Audi 5-thou.” This takes the term “outtie” and merges it with a popular luxury car at the same time: the Audi 5000.
    • She also noted that in the ’90s, your “crib” was your house, as evidenced by MTV’s popular show Cribs.
    @topwtf_

    Sad that’s most of these are fake 😪 #mtv #mtvcribs #topwtf_

    ♬ original sound – TOPWTF
    • “Home skillet” and “home slice” are two phrases that Gen Zers probably wouldn’t naturally understand, but they mean the same thing. It’s an evolution of the term “home boy,” meaning friend, which became “homie” or “home skillet.”
    • What would a ’90s kid say if someone was acting strangely or seemed confused about a situation? “You straight trippin’, G.” That means, “I believe that you are out of your mind, friend.”
    • She then asked a big question that makes little sense in the smartphone era: Why would we say ‘411’? Because “You would call 411, and you’d pick it up, and that was calling information.”

    The post sparked a great conversation among the commenters:

    “This is all that and a bag of chips,” Kid joked.

    “We stopped saying ‘psych’ when I was in 6th grade and switched to ‘NOT!’” Amanda clarified.

    “This is both amazing and hurts so much,” Mads admitted.

    Broadbent’s lesson is a great reminder for older people to stop being annoyed by younger generations’ slang, because when they were young, their trends were pretty cringey, too. It’s also a great lesson for the young people out there: Be careful how you judge your elders; one day you’re going to be just like them.

  • People in their 40s say these 5 unique life changes make it the weirdest and most diverse phase of life
    Photo credit: Canva & XA 42-year-old’s observations about his early 40s are striking a nerve on social media.

    Turning 40 marks a major milestone for many people. It can be an exciting time when your family, career, hobbies, and sense of self are finally falling into place. Unfortunately, it can also be the decade when your joints start hurting and your hair goes gray.

    In other words, your 40s can be a mixed bag. What’s especially fascinating is that everyone’s experience in their early 40s will be different. Some people say that’s exactly what makes it such an interesting season of life.

    Guy on X notices a few strange things about being in his 40s

    Ben Eisenhart, a self-described dad and husband who turned 42 earlier this year, recently took stock of his peers and found that there was a wild amount of variety.

    He realized that he’d reached a point in time when minor differences in life choices, luck, and genetics that were barely noticeable in his 20s were becoming massively evident.

    The post was a hit, racking up nearly two million views and hundreds of comments from people eager to share their own experiences and observations. Here are five things people say make your 40s the weirdest and most interesting decade of your life.

    1. Kids

    In your early 20s, the vast majority of your peers don’t have kids yet. In your mid-to-late 20s, the process begins, and newborns start crashing group hangouts. Late nights at the bar become lazy afternoons at the brewery as parent friends try to survive the early stages of parenthood. Others either aren’t ready for kids yet or have decided not to have them.

    In your 40s, it’s not nearly as simple.

    Some folks are still child-free. Others might have grown children who are out of the house. Some are even grandparents by this point. Others are just getting started in parenthood with their first newborn. In fact, the latter is becoming increasingly common, with over 20% of women now having their first child after the age of 35.

    2. Looks

    Some people look older, and some look younger. That’s just the genetic lottery, and it’s true at almost any age.

    But by your 40s, life choices and health issues have piled up and widened this gap. Some 40-year-olds could pass for being in their 20s, while others look 20 years older.

    Genetics alone can account for huge differences in how we age, and it’s a topic of great interest to scientists. But a few decades of staying fit, or smoking, or using or not using sunscreen really start to show up around your early 40s.

    3. Couples

    Similar diversity shows up not just in whether people are partnered up, but in the many different shapes and timelines of romance that appear.

    As Eisenhart notes, many people marry relatively young and remain together well into their 40s and beyond. Others are divorced, on their second or third marriage, or have been single the entire time. Even among those who are single, they may be dipping their toe in the dating pool of folks their own age…or, in some cases, much younger.

    It can make for some very interesting get-togethers.

    4. Career

    There’s a great camaraderie in your 20s when everyone you know is just getting started in their careers. Some are struggling through menial jobs, while others are in more prestigious fields but are grinding their way up from the bottom of the totem pole.

    You’re all in it together, in a sense.

    In your 40s, those career paths have diverged a great deal over the years. Some folks are executive-level leaders at big companies. Others have been doctors and scientific researchers for over a decade. Some have suffered setbacks or are in the midst of a career change, piecing together work the best they can. More and more people in their 40s are even going back to school.

    It can, and should, be a time of deep empathy and leaning on one another.

    5. Hope for all

    Ultimately, most people in their 40s who commented on the post agreed on one thing: it’s a pretty cool season of life.

    “All these are just lessons that we ain’t competing with anyone, at every age in our life just live your best and do things that makes you happy and always love yourself even more,” one X user wrote.

    Another said, “Life really doesn’t follow one timeline. People the same age can be in completely different seasons, and that’s normal.”

    “I turn 48 in July, and what ive gathered is wherever you find yourself during these years, as long as you find the joy, its all good,” another user added. “Out of all my decades, 40s have been surprisingly my favorite, mainly because ive learned to only worry about what i can control.”

    One person noted that your 40s offer an amazing opportunity for transformation: “Early 40s is the last time of a big ‘potential’ horizon. Where you could totally reinvent yourself and make it if you wanted to.”

    And finally, many wisely advised that your 40s are nothing to fear:

    It wasn’t just 40-year-olds who were drawn to the viral post, however. More than a handful of people in their 50s and 60s stopped by with just a few choice words: “Just you wait.”

  • The Bee Gees’ 1973 acoustic performance of ‘Run to Me’ perfectly showcases their amazing harmonies
    Photo credit: via MIdnight Special/YouTubeThe Bee Gees singing "Run to Me."

    On June 22, 1973, the Bee Gees, brothers Barry, Robin, and Maurice Gibb, appeared on the TV show The Midnight Special and, throughout the 90-minute broadcast, showcased their humor, soul, and incredible harmonies. But, by far, the highlight of the night was a performance of their recent hit, “Run to Me,” off their 1972 release, To Whom It May Concern.

    The Midnight Special was a late-night music and variety show that ran on NBC for nine years (1972-1981). Along with “Run to Me,” on this episode, the Bee Gees played their 1968 hit “I Gotta Get a Message to You,” sang a duet with Wilson Pickett of The Beatles’ “Hey Jude,” and performed a medley which included, “Morning of My Life,” “Holiday,” “Let There Be Love,” and “My World.”

    The Bee Gees’ incredible ‘Run to Me’ performance

    Their performance of “Run to Me” is incredible because with the stripped-down, acoustic-guitar-only arrangement, you can really hear their amazing harmonies—especially when Robin and Maurice hop in on the chorus.

    “‘Run to Me’ was one of those songs that all three of us sang. It was never really written for one person. ‘I’ll sing the verses. You sing the chorus because they are much higher,’ Gibb recalled, as if speaking with his brothers. “Robin’s voice was much higher than mine … See, it wasn’t like a group. It was a family. And so, whoever wanted to sing, sang.”

    The origins of ‘Run to Me’

    “We wrote [Run to Me] at our manager Robert Stigwood’s house in Beverly Hills. He was a great visionary and championed our beliefs and chemistry as brothers. Lyrically, this song chronicles the wishes of a man who longs to be noticed by a broken-hearted girl,” Robin recalled.

    Even though the Bee Gees appear at the top of their game in the performance, it was a transitional point for the band. “Run to Me” would be their last significant hit for three years, until they transitioned into a more soulful, disco sound, with their 1975 hit “Jive Talkin’.” This would launch the band into superstardom, peaking with 1977’s Saturday Night Fever Soundtrack which featured three number one singles from the album contributed by the Bee Gees—”How Deep Is Your Love”, “Stayin’ Alive,” and “Night Fever.” The brothers also penned “If I Can’t Have You,” which became a number-one hit for Yvonne Elliman.

    Sadly, Maurice Gibb would pass away in 2003 and Robin in 2012. But “Run to Me” got a second life in 2021 when Barry re-recorded it with country singer Brandi Carlile for his solo album, Greenfields. Greenfields features reworked versions of his Bee Gees hits, sung with country collaborators, including Dolly Parton, Jason Isbell, and Miranda Lambert. 

    This new version of “Run to Me” features a similar vocal arrangement to the original, with Carlile filling in for the late Robin.

    Earlier this year, Barry spoke with Upworthy about his love for Bob Dylan and his opposition to the Vietnam War. You can read it here. 

    Here is the entire June 22, 1973, broadcast of The Midnight Special.

  • Quick-thinking gas station clerk stops kidnapping after victim mouths ‘help’
    Photo credit: via Hamtramck Police DepartmentA kidnapping victim saved in Detroit.

    A gas station clerk in Detroit is being hailed a hero after he risked his life confronting a suspected kidnapper who came into his store. It all began at around 7:00 a.m. on Monday, April 13, in Hamtramck, Michigan, when a 16-year-old girl was approached by the suspect at a bus stop while waiting for her ride to school. The suspect pointed a gun at her and demanded she get in his car.

    Thirty minutes after the abduction, the man took the girl into a gas station in nearby Detroit and forced her to buy him a pack of cigarettes. The gas station cashier thought the situation looked suspicious, a hunch that the girl confirmed. “When he asked her to pay for the cigarette, I said, ‘Stop. There’s something wrong.’ And she mouthed, like talked to me like with no sound, ‘Help,’” Abdulrahman Abohatem told WXYZ

    Abohatem put his life on the line to help the abducted girl

    Abohatem asked the girl to come around the counter and get behind him. He walked outside the bulletproof glass, told the suspect to leave the store, and followed him out just as the police rolled up to the gas station. “I see the police outside. I point to him—’That’s the guy,’” Abohatem recalled.

    The police were at the right place at the right time because they had been tracing the girl using her smartphone. After word spread of the abduction, a friend of the girl was able to track her location. 

    Gas station footage shows Abohatem following the suspect out of the store as the police pulled up to detain him.

    “One of her friends opened the location through one of the social media apps. I said, ‘Oh, I could see her location right now,’” Mohammed Alsanai, the principal at the girl’s school, Frontier International Academy, told ABC News. “As we show the police the location, informed the dispatch, and as she walked in and said she had the location, like the whole room froze, and we all look at each other like, ‘Here we go.’”

    Amazing things can happen when people work together

    It’s incredible that the girl was saved just 30 minutes after being abducted by a group of quick-thinking people working together—although some of them didn’t know it). It was a great piece of teamwork from the girls’ friends, school administrators, the police, and a quick-thinking clerk who trusted his gut and took a big risk to do what was right. The suspect was armed, so he could have easily been shot for confronting the man.

    The entire situation is a great reminder that people of all ages and walks of life are willing to step up and do what’s right when someone’s life is on the line. 

    “It is very concerning because we’re talking about a child’s life here,” Hamtramck Police Chief Hussein Farhat said during an April 13 press conference. “It’s scary to [the victim’s family]. It’s scary to every parent who has children. So, we can only imagine what’s going through their head right now. Just want to make sure they know we’re there for them.”

  • For 10 years, social anxiety kept us from meeting our neighbors. One afternoon changed everything.
    Photo credit: CanvaWe learned a vital lesson about taking the first step.

    My 80-year-old mother lives in a neighborhood most people would envy. It’s not fancy or desirable in a material sense, but it is rich in a sense of community. Her neighbors share home-baked bread and extra veggies from their gardens. They pet-sit for one another and chit-chat about their kids and grandkids. They borrow tools and shovel snow from one another’s sidewalks. It’s a beautiful thing.

    My family’s neighborhood, just a mile away, isn’t like that. We live on a busy street. We don’t even have sidewalk in front of our house. Several homes around us are rentals where college students stay for less than a year. In the decade we’ve been here, we’ve only met three neighbors total, one of whom has since moved away.

    We can’t have block parties because our road is an arterial. People can’t park on our street, so everyone parks behind their homes. There’s almost no natural opportunity to even see, much less talk to, most of our neighbors

    street, neighborhood, yellow lines, road
    How do you meet your neighbors when there’s not a natural opening to do so? Photo credit: Canva

    The Anxiety

    I’ve relied on “our block is just different” to explain away the contrast between my mom’s neighborhood and ours. But in reality, someone at some point took the initiative to create that community where she lives. There was no reason we couldn’t do the same with our neighbors.

    So, why hadn’t we done it? Social anxiety. Simple as that. We’d have to physically go up and knock on our neighbors’ doors to meet them, and no one in my family felt comfortable doing that. We love people as a whole and want our neighborhood to feel like a community. But we would rather do almost anything than randomly knock on a stranger’s door and introduce ourselves.

    So, we sat in that conflicted space for years, feeling silly about wanting to know our neighbors but avoiding taking action out of fear.

    The Decision

    Inspired by friends who had visited their closest 15 neighbors when they moved to a new neighborhood, we decided it was time to kiss our comfort zone goodbye. We made an ambitious plan: Instead of starting small with just one neighbor, we’d spend one afternoon visiting the 10 houses we could see from our front porch. And instead of just introducing ourselves, we’d invite them all to a brunch at our house the following Saturday morning.

    We made flyers with the brunch details and talked about what to say. We decided we’d just lay out how we’d been feeling:

    Hi! We live in the house with the white fence over there. We’ve lived here for 10 years and hardly met any of our neighbors, and we’re feeling kind of silly about that. So we wanted to introduce ourselves and invite you to a neighborhood brunch at our house on Saturday. Super casual. Bring something if you want, but don’t feel like you need to. Would love it if you could come. Our phone number to RSVP is on the flyer. Let us know if you can make it.

    We prayed for courage, gathered our wits, and set out with flyers in hand.

    (Those who don’t struggle with social anxiety may wonder what all the fuss is about. Let me put it this way: My family is not unsocial. We have lots of friends. But I would rather give a speech in front of 50,000 people than walk up and introduce myself to someone I don’t know. It’s hard to explain why that specific act is so difficult, but taking this step was a very big deal.)

    hand, knocking, door
    Someone has to take the initiative to reach out first. Photo credit: Canva

    The Response

    No one was home at the first two houses. At the third, we met a man and his wife in the yard. As soon as we said, “We’re your neighbors,” and pointed out our house, their faces lit up. They were so happy and grateful we were reaching out. We had a lovely chat, and they said they’d try to make it to the brunch.

    Of the remaining seven houses, three had people at home. One was a young family with a preschooler and twin newborns. Next was an older man who said he and his wife had lived there for 15 years. The last was a young mom with a two-month-old baby.

    Again, as soon as we told them we were going around to meet the neighbors, their faces lit up with beautiful expressions of recognition. Yes, we’ve been wanting that, too. Yes, thank you for going out of your way to come by. Yes, we’ll try to make it. Yes, yes, yes.

    We left flyers on the doors of people who didn’t answer and returned home, exhausted from the effort but invigorated by the response.

    The What-ifs

    As the Saturday brunch approached, the anxious what-ifs kicked in. What if no one comes to the brunch? What if people do come and it’s just weird? What if we run out of food? What if we unwittingly just invited a bunch of psychos into our home?

    Anxiety excels at two things: Making excuses not to act and forecasting catastrophy once you do. We knew this, thankfully, so we sat in the uncomfortable uncertainty of what might happen and hoped for the best.

    The day before, we received RSVPs by text from the first couple and a woman who’d found the flyer on her door. Okay, three new-to-us neighbors, two of whom we knew were easy to talk to. Totally doable, right?

    meal, sharing, family, community, together
    Sharing a meal is a great way to start getting to know people. Photo credit: Canva

    The Result

    About 30 minutes before brunch time, our doorbell rang. It was the husband of the mom with the two-month-old, who wanted to thank us for the invite. They had hoped to make it but couldn’t, but he at least wanted to come by and introduce himself. He and my husband chatted for a few minutes. Before he left, they had already talked about swapping tools.

    Those who had RSVP’d arrived shortly after 10:00 a.m., one with homemade bread in hand. As we were eating and chatting away about 30 minutes later, the doorbell rang again. A woman holding a plate of apple muffins introduced herself. She’d found the brunch invite on her front door, but accidentally texted the wrong number to RSVP. She apologized that she couldn’t stay, as she had company at her house, but she at least wanted to stop by and say hello. She came in for a few minutes to meet everyone, left the muffins, and returned to her house just across the street.

    It’s a small detail, but I happily noted that she brought the muffins over on a real plate. Now I get to return her plate to her, like a true neighbor.

    About an hour into brunch, the couple’s teen son showed up to join us. We were tickled to find out he’d been at a rehearsal for the same community concert our adult daughter was performing in the next day. We were already connected in ways we didn’t even know about.

    The Takeaway

    Brunch lasted a couple of hours. It was leisurely, friendly, and wonderful to see how the conversations flowed. It was also a good reminder that people actually want this. People want to know their neighbors. They want community and connection. Even if we have our own established social networks outside of our immediate neighborhood, there’s something special about getting to know the people who live around us.

    I know some people already have this kind of neighborhood, which is great. And I know it all could have gone another way, too. Sometimes neighbors don’t get along, and in some neighborhoods, it might not make sense to do something like this. But most Americans don’t know any or only know some of our neighbors and we have a hard time trusting one another. A Pew Research survey found that most people say they would help their neighbors with various tasks, but far fewer believe their neighbors would do the same for them. Perhaps our perceptions of one another would be different if we actually knew each other.

    My family is thrilled with how meeting our neighbors went and excited to make opportunities to meet the ones we missed. It feels like a solid first step in building that sense of community my mom and her neighbors enjoy so much. My only regret is that we waited so long to make it happen.

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