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When the first Black senator elected in Georgia was expelled in 1868, he responded with a speech of thunderous defiance.

When the first Black senator elected in Georgia was expelled in 1868, he responded with a speech of thunderous defiance.
via Wikipedia

In July 1868, a mere three years after the Civil War, the first 33 Black members of the Georgia General Assembly — all members of the Republican Party — were elected to office.

Just two months later, the "Original 33" were expelled from their seats by the white Democratic majority. Back then, the Republican Party stood up for the rights of Black people, while the Democrats were a party that upheld white supremacy.

Things have changed since.


The unfathomable injustice inspired newly-elected Black Senator Henry McNeal Turner to deliver a thunderous speech chastising white lawmakers in the Georgia state legislature. The speech is a masterwork in defiance and is centered around the central question that lies beneath all civil rights movements: "Am I a man?"

In the speech, he makes no attempt to grovel for his right to hold office because doing so would be tantamount to slavery. "I hold that I am a member of this body. Therefore, sir, I shall neither fawn nor cringe before any party, nor stoop to beg them for my rights," Turner says.

"I am here to demand my rights and to hurl thunderbolts at the men who would dare to cross the threshold of my manhood," he continued.

via Christina / Flickr

He also made the point that without political power, Black people are not free.

"Never, so help me God, shall I be a political slave," Turner said. "I am not now speaking for those colored men who sit with me in this House, nor do I say that they endorse my sentiments, but assisting Mr. Lincoln to take me out of servile slavery did not intend to put me and my race into political slavery."

In June 1869, the Supreme Court of Georgia ruled 2-1 that Black people did have a right to hold office in Georgia. The representatives were restored in 1870 and the commanding general of the District of Georgia Alfred H. Terry removed all of the ex-Confederates from the assembly, resulting in a Republican majority in both houses.

Turner was born a free man in South Carolina and worked on a cotton plantation among slaves where he secretly taught himself to read. He would go on to become a Methodist preacher and ministered in Baltimore, St. Louis, Maryland in Washington, D.C.

In 1863, during the American Civil War, Turner was appointed as the first black chaplain in the United States Colored Troops.

US Colored Troops c. 1864 via Library of Congress

After serving one term in the legislature, he returned his attention to the Methodist church. Disillusioned by Reconstruction, he would advocate for Black people to return to Africa, Liberia in particular.

He died in Canada in 1915 while tending to church business.

Here's Turner's complete 1868 speech.

Mr. Speaker: Before proceeding to argue this question upon its intrinsic merits, I wish the members of this House to understand the position that I take. I hold that I am a member of this body. Therefore, sir, I shall neither fawn nor cringe before any party, nor stoop to beg them for my rights. Some of my colored fellow members, in the course of their remarks, took occasion to appeal to the sympathies of members on the opposite side, and to eulogize their character for magnanimity. It reminds me very much, sir, of slaves begging under the lash. I am here to demand my rights and to hurl thunderbolts at the men who would dare to cross the threshold of my manhood. There is an old aphorism which says, "fight the devil with fire," and if I should observe the rule in this instance, I wish gentlemen to understand that it is but fighting them with their own weapon.

The scene presented in this House, today, is one unparalleled in the history of the world. From this day, back to the day when God breathed the breath of life into Adam, no analogy for it can be found. Never, in the history of the world, has a man been arraigned before a body clothed with legislative, judicial or executive functions, charged with the offense of being a darker hue than his fellow men. I know that questions have been before the courts of this country, and of other countries, involving topics not altogether dissimilar to that which is being discussed here today.

But, sir, never in the history of the great nations of this world never before has a man been arraigned, charged with an offense committed by the God of Heaven Himself. Cases may be found where men have been deprived of their rights for crimes and misdemeanors; but it has remained for the state of Georgia, in the very heart of the nineteenth century, to call a man before the bar, and there charge him with an act for which he is no more responsible than for the head which he carries upon his shoulders. The Anglo Saxon race, sir, is a most surprising one. No man has ever been more deceived in that race than I have been for the last three weeks. I was not aware that there was in the character of that race so much cowardice or so much pusillanimity. The treachery which has been exhibited in it by gentlemen belonging to that race has shaken my confidence in it more than anything that has come under my observation from the day of my birth.

What is the question at issue? Why, sir, this Assembly, today, is discuss¬ing and deliberating on a judgment; there is not a Cherub that sits around God's eternal throne today that would not tremble even were an order is¬sued by the Supreme God Himself to come down here and sit in judgment on my manhood. Gentlemen may look at this question in whatever light they choose, and with just as much indifference as they may think proper to assume, but I tell you, sir, that this is a question which will not die today. This event shall be remembered by posterity for ages yet to come, and while the sun shall continue to climb the hills of heaven.

Whose legislature is this? Is it a white man's legislature, or is it a black man's legislature? Who voted for a constitutional convention, in obedience to the mandate of the Congress of the United States? Who first rallied around the standard of Reconstruction? Who set the ball of loyalty rolling in the state of Georgia? And whose voice was heard on the hills and in the valleys of this state? It was the voice of the brawny armed Negro, with the few humanitarian hearted white men who came to our assistance. I claim the honor, sir, of having been the instrument of convincing hundreds yea, thousands of white men, that to reconstruct under the measures of the United States Congress was the safest and the best course for the interest of the state.

Let us look at some facts in connection with this matter. Did half the white men of Georgia vote for this legislature? Did not the great bulk of them fight, with all their strength, the Constitution under which we are act¬ing? And did they not fight against the organization of this legislature? And further, sir, did they not vote against it? Yes, sir! And there are persons in this legislature today who are ready to spit their poison in my face, while they themselves opposed, with all their power, the ratification of this Con¬stitution. They question my right to a seat in this body, to represent the people whose legal votes elected me. This objection, sir, is an unheard of monopoly of power. No analogy can be found for it, except it be the case of a man who should go into my house, take possession of my wife and chil¬dren, and then tell me to walk out. I stand very much in the position of a criminal before your bar, because I dare to be the exponent of the views of those who sent me here. Or, in other words, we are told that if black men want to speak, they must speak through white trumpets; if black men want their sentiments expressed, they must be adulterated and sent through white messengers, who will quibble and equivocate and evade as rapidly as the pen¬dulum of a clock. If this be not done, then the black men have committed an outrage, and their representatives must be denied the right to represent their constituents.

via Mark / Flickr

The great question, sir, is this: Am I a man? If I am such, I claim the rights of a man. Am I not a man because I happen to be of a darker hue than honorable gentlemen around me? Let me see whether I am or not. I want to convince the House today that I am entitled to my seat here. A certain gentleman has argued that the Negro was a mere development similar to the orangoutang or chimpanzee, but it so happens that, when a Negro is examined, physiologically, phrenologically and anatomically, and I may say, physiognomically, he is found to be the same as persons of different color. I would like to ask any gentleman on this floor, where is the analogy? Do you find me a quadruped, or do you find me a man? Do you find three bones less in my back than in that of the white man? Do you find fewer organs in the brain? If you know nothing of this, I do; for I have helped to dissect fifty men, black and white, and I assert that by the time you take off the mucous pigment the color of the skin you cannot, to save your life, distinguish between the black man and the white. Am I a man? Have I a soul to save, as you have? Am I susceptible of eternal development, as you are? Can I learn all the arts and sciences that you can? Has it ever been demonstrated in the history of the world? Have black men ever exhibited bravery as white men have done? Have they ever been in the professions? Have they not as good articulative organs as you?

Some people argue that there is a very close similarity between the larynx of the Negro and that of the orangoutang. Why, sir, there is not so much similarity between them as there is between the larynx of the man and that of the dog, and this fact I dare any member of this House to dispute. God saw fit to vary everything in nature. There are no two men alike no two voices alike no two trees alike. God has weaved and tissued variety and versatility throughout the boundless space of His creation. Because God saw fit to make some red, and some white, and some black, and some brown, are we to sit here in judgment upon what God has seen fit to do? As well might one play with the thunderbolts of heaven as with that creature that bears God's image God's photograph.

The question is asked, "What is it that the Negro race has done?" Well, Mr. Speaker, all I have to say upon the subject is this: If we are the class of people that we are generally represented to be, I hold that we are a very great people. It is generally considered that we are the children of Canaan, and the curse of a father rests upon our heads, and has rested, all through history. Sir, I deny that the curse of Noah had anything to do with the Negro. We are not the Children of Canaan; and if we are, sir, where should we stand? Let us look a little into history. Melchizedek was a Canaanite; all the Phoenicians all those inventors of the arts and sciences were the posterity of Canaan; but, sir, the Negro is not. We are the children of Cush, and Canaan's curse has nothing whatever to do with the Negro. If we belong to that race, Ham belonged to it, under whose instructions Napoleon Bonaparte studied military tactics. If we belong to that race, Saint Augustine belonged to it. Who was it that laid the foundation of the great Reformation? Martin Luther, who lit the light of gospel truth alight that will never go out until the sun shall rise to set no more; and, long ere then, Democratic principles will have found their level in the regions of Pluto and of Prosperpine . . . .

The honorable gentleman from Whitfield (Mr. Shumate), when arguing this question, a day or two ago, put forth the proposition that to be a representative was not to be an officer "it was a privilege that citizens had a right to enjoy." These are his words. It was not an office; it was a "privilege." Every gentleman here knows that he denied that to be a representative was to be an officer. Now, he is recognized as a leader of the Democratic party in this House, and generally cooks victuals for them to eat; makes that remarkable declaration, and how are you, gentlemen on the other side of the House, because I am an officer, when one of your great lights says that I am not an officer? If you deny my right the right of my constituents to have representation here because it is a "privilege," then, sir, I will show you that I have as many privileges as the whitest man on this floor. If I am not permitted to occupy a seat here, for the purpose of representing my constituents, I want to know how white men can be permitted to do so.

How can a white man represent a colored constituency, if a colored man cannot do it? The great argument is: "Oh, we have inherited" this, that and the other. Now, I want gentlemen to come down to cool, common sense. Is the created greater than the Creator? Is man greater than God? It is very strange, if a white man can occupy on this floor a seat created by colored votes, and a black man cannot do it. Why, gentlemen, it is the most shortsighted reasoning in the world. A man can see better than that with half an eye; and even if he had no eye at all, he could forge one, as the Cyclops did, or punch one with his finger, which would enable him to see through that.

It is said that Congress never gave us the right to hold office. I want to know, sir, if the Reconstruction measures did not base their action on the ground that no distinction should be made on account of race, color or previous condition? Was not that the grand fulcrum on which they rested? And did not every reconstructed state have to reconstruct on the idea that no discrimination, in any sense of the term, should be made? There is not a man here who will dare say No. If Congress has simply given me a merely sufficient civil and political rights to make me a mere political slave for Democrats, or anybody else giving them the opportunity of jumping on my back in order to leap into political power I do not thank Congress for it. Never, so help me God, shall I be a political slave. I am not now speaking for those colored men who sit with me in this House, nor do I say that they endorse my sentiments, but assisting Mr. Lincoln to take me out of servile slavery did not intend to put me and my race into political slavery. If they did, let them take away my ballot I do not want it, and shall not have it. I don't want to be a mere tool of that sort. I have been a slave long enough already.

I tell you what I would be willing to do: I am willing that the question should be submitted to Congress for an explanation as to what was meant in the passage of their Reconstruction measures, and of the Constitutional Amendment. Let the Democratic Party in this House pass a resolution giving this subject that direction, and I shall be content. I dare you, gentlemen, to do it. Come up to the question openly, whether it meant that the Negro might hold office, or whether it meant that he should merely have the right to vote. If you are honest men, you will do it. If, however, you will not do that, I would make another proposition: Call together, again, the convention that framed the constitution under which we are acting; let them take a vote upon the subject, and I am willing to abide by their decision…

These colored men, who are unable to express themselves with all the clearness and dignity and force of rhetorical eloquence, are laughed at in derision by the Democracy of the country. It reminds me very much of the man who looked at himself in a mirror and, imagining that he was addressing another person, exclaimed: My God, how ugly you are!" These gentlemen do not consider for a moment the dreadful hardships which these people have endured, and especially those who in any way endeavored to acquire an education. For myself, sir, I was raised in the cotton field of South Carolina, and in order to prepare myself for usefulness, as well to myself as to my race, I determined to devote my spare hours to study. When the overseer retired at night to his comfortable couch, I sat and read and thought and studied, until I heard him blow his horn in the morning. He frequently told me, with an oath, that if he discovered me attempting to learn, that he would whip me to death, and I have no doubt he would have done so, if he had found an opportunity. I prayed to Almighty God to assist me, and He did, and I thank Him with my whole heart and soul…

So far as I am personally concerned, no man in Georgia has been more conservative than I. "Anything to please the white folks" has been my motto; and so closely have I adhered to that course, that many among my own party have classed me as a Democrat. One of the leaders of the Republican party in Georgia has not been at all favorable to me for some time back, because he believed that I was too "conservative" for a Republican. I can assure you, however, Mr. Speaker, that I have had quite enough, and to spare, of such "conservatism" . . .

A monument at the Georgia Capitol pays tribute to the Black lawmakers who were expelled in 1868.

But, Mr. Speaker, I do not regard this movement as a thrust at me. It is a thrust at the Bible a thrust at the God of the Universe, for making a man and not finishing him; it is simply calling the Great Jehovah a fool. Why, sir, though we are not white, we have accomplished much. We have pioneered civilization here; we have built up your country; we have worked in your fields and garnered your harvests for two hundred and fifty years! And what do we ask of you in return? Do we ask you for compensation for the sweat our fathers bore for you for the tears you have caused, and the hearts you have broken, and the lives you have curtailed, and the blood you have spilled? Do we ask retaliation? We ask it not. We are willing to let the dead past bury its dead; but we ask you, now for our rights. You have all the elements of superiority upon your side; you have our money and your own; you have our education and your own; and you have our land and your own too. We, who number hundreds of thousands in Georgia, including our wives and families, with not a foot of land to call our own strangers in the land of our birth; without money, without education, without aid, without a roof to cover us while we live, nor sufficient clay to cover us when we die!

It is extraordinary that a race such as yours, professing gallantry and chivalry and education and superiority, living in a land where ringing chimes call child and sire to the church of God a land where Bibles are read and Gospel truths are spoken, and where courts of justice are presumed to exist; it is extraordinary that, with all these advantages on your side, you can make war upon the poor defenseless black man. You know we have no money, no railroads, no telegraphs, no advantages of any sort, and yet all manner of injustice is placed upon us. You know that the black people of this country acknowledge you as their superiors, by virtue of your education and advantages…

You may expel us, gentlemen, but I firmly believe that you will some day repent it. The black man cannot protect a country, if the country doesn't protect him; and if, tomorrow, a war should arise, I would not raise a musket to defend a country where my manhood is denied. The fashionable way in Georgia, when hard work is to be done, is for the white man to sit at his ease while the black man does the work; but, sir, I will say this much to the colored men of Georgia, as, if I should be killed in this campaign, I may have no opportunity of telling them at any other time: Never lift a finger nor raise a hand in defense of Georgia, until Georgia acknowledges that you are men and invests you with the rights pertaining to manhood. Pay your taxes, however, obey all orders from your employers, take good counsel from friends, work faithfully, earn an honest living, and show, by your conduct, that you can be good citizens.

Go on with your oppressions. Babylon fell. Where is Greece? Where is Nineveh? And where is Rome, the Mistress Empire of the world? Why is it that she stands, today, in broken fragments throughout Europe? Because oppression killed her. Every act that we commit is like a bounding ball. If you curse a man, that curse rebounds upon you; and when you bless a man, the blessing returns to you; and when you oppress a man, the oppression also will rebound. Where have you ever heard of four millions of freemen being governed by laws, and yet have no hand in their making? Search the records of the world, and you will find no example. "Governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed." How dare you to make laws by which to try me and my wife and children, and deny me a voice in the making of these laws? I know you can establish a monarchy, an autocracy, an oligarchy, or any other kind of ocracy that you please; and that you can declare whom you please to be sovereign; but tell me, sir, how you can clothe me with more power than another, where all are sovereigns alike? How can you say you have a republican form of government, when you make such distinction and enact such proscriptive laws?

Gentlemen talk a good deal about the Negroes "building no monuments." I can tell the gentlemen one thing: that is, that we could have built monuments of fire while the war was in progress. We could have fired your woods, your barns and fences, and called you home. Did we do it? No, sir! And God grant that the Negro may never do it, or do anything else that would destroy the good opinion of his friends. No epithet is sufficiently opprobrious for us now. I saw, sir, that we have built a monument of docility, of obedience, of respect, and of self control, that will endure longer than the Pyramids of Egypt.

We are a persecuted people. Luther was persecuted; Galileo was persecuted; good men in all nations have been persecuted; but the persecutors have been handed down to posterity with shame and ignominy. If you pass this bill, you will never get Congress to pardon or enfranchise another rebel in your lives. You are going to fix an everlasting disfranchisement upon Mr. Toombs and the other leading men of Georgia. You may think you are doing yourselves honor by expelling us from this House; but when we go, we will do as Wickliffe and as Latimer did. We will light a torch of truth that will never be extinguished the impression that will run through the country, as people picture in their mind's eye these poor black men, in all parts of this Southern country, pleading for their rights. When you expel us, you make us forever your political foes, and you will never find a black man to vote a Democratic ticket again; for, so help me God, I will go through all the length and breadth of the land, where a man of my race is to be found, and advise him to beware of the Democratic party. Justice is the great doctrine taught in the Bible. God's Eternal justice is founded upon Truth, and the man who steps from justice steps from 'Ruth, and cannot make his principles to prevail.

I have now, Mr. Speaker, said all that my physical condition will allow me to say. Weak and ill, though I am, I could not sit passively here and see the sacred rights of my race destroyed at one blow. We are in a position somewhat similar to that of the famous "Light Brigade," of which Tennyson says, they had

Cannon to right of them, Cannon to left of them, Cannon in front of them, Volleyed and thundered.

I hope that our poor, downtrodden race may act well and wisely through this period of trial, and that they will exercise patience and discretion under all circumstances.

You may expel us, gentlemen, by your votes, today; but, while you do it, remember that there is a just God in Heaven, whose All-Seeing Eye beholds alike the acts of the oppressor and the oppressed, and who, despite the machinations of the wicked, never fails to vindicate the cause of Justice, and the sanctity of His own handiwork.





Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
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In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.


“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

quiet, finger over lips, don't talk, keep it to yourself, silence

A woman with her finger over her mouth.

It can be hard to stay quiet when you feel like you just have to speak your mind. But sometimes it's not a great idea to share your opinions on current events with your dad or tell your boss where they're wrong in a meeting. And having a bit of self-control during a fight with your spouse is a good way to avoid apologizing the next morning.

Further, when we fight the urge to talk when it's not necessary, we become better listeners and give others a moment in the spotlight to share their views. Building that small mental muscle to respond to events rather than react can make all the difference in social situations.


argument, coworkers, angry coworkers, hostile work enviornment, disagreement A woman is getting angry at her coworker.via Canva/Photos

What is the WAIT method?

One way people have honed the skill of holding back when they feel the burning urge to speak up is the WAIT method, an acronym for the question you should ask yourself in that moment: "Why Am I Talking?" Pausing to consider the question before you open your mouth can shift your focus from "being heard" to "adding value" to any conversation.

The Center for The Empowerment Dynamic has some questions we should consider after taking a WAIT moment:

  • What is my intention behind what I am about to say?
  • What question can I ask to better understand what the other person is saying?
  • Is my need to talk an attempt to divert the attention to me?
  • How might I become comfortable with silence rather than succumb to my urge to talk?

tape over muth, sielnce, be quiet, mouth shut, saying nothing A man with tape over his mouth.via Canva/Photos

The WAIT method is a good way to avoid talking too much. In work meetings, people who overtalk risk losing everyone's attention and diluting their point to the extent that others aren't quite sure what they were trying to say. Even worse, they can come across as attention hogs or know-it-alls. Often, the people who get to the heart of the matter succinctly are the ones who are noticed and respected.

Just because you're commanding the attention of the room doesn't mean you're doing yourself any favors or helping other people in the conversation.

The WAIT method is also a great way to give yourself a breather and let things sit for a moment during a heated, emotional discussion. It gives you a chance to cool down and rethink your goals for the conversation. It can also help you avoid saying something you regret.

fight, spuse disagreement, communications skills, upset husband, argument A husband is angry with his wife. via Canva/Photos

How much should I talk in a meeting?

So if it's a work situation, like a team meeting, you don't want to be completely silent. How often should you speak up?

Cary Pfeffer, a speaking coach and media trainer, shared an example of the appropriate amount of time to talk in a meeting with six people:

"I would suggest a good measure would be three contributions over an hour-long meeting from each non-leader participant. If anyone is talking five/six/seven times you are over-participating! Allow someone else to weigh in, even if that means an occasional awkward silence. Anything less seems like your voice is just not being represented, and anything over three contributions is too much."

Ultimately, the WAIT method is about taking a second to make sure you're not just talking to hear yourself speak. It helps ensure that you have a clear goal for participating in the conversation and that you're adding value for others. Knowing when and why to say something is the best way to make a positive contribution and avoid shooting yourself in the foot.

Humor

Olympic curling gets humor treatment as people recreate the bizarrely riveting sport at home

Using everything from Roombas to babies, people are embracing the joy of curling.

olympic sports, winter olympics, curling, curling stone, winter sports

Curling has become a surprisingly popular Olympic sport.

When curling became an official Olympic sport in 1998, it was met with a fair amount of curiosity and confusion, at least among people outside Canada, Scotland, and the Scandinavian countries where it has long been a winter sport tradition. Without an explanation of what's happening, curling can look downright bizarre: large stones sliding across the ice toward a target, while people vigorously sweep the ice in front of them as the person who threw the stone yells unintelligibly.

It's not obvious what skills are required for curling just by watching, which initially led people to poke fun at the event. More recent Olympic Games, however, have seen interest in curling grow as people find the sport strangely riveting. Now, curling has reached even greater heights of popularity, as evidenced by satirical curling-at-home videos popping up on social media.


Many of them use a combo of a Roomba and a Swiffer, which works perfectly:

Why Swiffer is not the official sponsor of all Olympic curling events is a mystery.

Some creators take it a little further, adding in the yelling component:


@amanda_carluccio

We’re now professional athletes. 🏅🇺🇸 #curling #usa #winterolympics #olympics #thecarluccios

Others use different household items, like a teapot, for a curling stone and add commentary:

@breanneallarie

Kitchen curling 🥌 I’m ready @Olympics #milanocortina2026 #roadtotheolympics #teamcanada #olympiccurling

And believe it or not, someone even used a baby as a curling stone, with the caption, "When new dads in Canada are left unsupervised."

So how exactly did we get here?

The history of curling

No one knows the exact origins of curling, but there is evidence of the sport (or something like it) being played by monks on frozen lakes and ponds in Scotland in the 16th century. Farmers would join in curling games during the winter months, and as the sport evolved through the 1800s, it became more organized. Rules were formalized, and people began traveling to watch and participate in competitions held outdoors in large Scottish cities. The Scots eventually took the sport with them to other countries, and by the 1900s, curling had transformed from a Scottish outdoor pastime into an international, mostly indoor sport.

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How does curling work as a sport?

Curling is played by two teams of four, with each team aiming to get its eight stones closest to the center of a target called a "house." Teams alternate "throwing" their stones, which really means gliding them along the ice. Sweepers brush the ice to help guide the stones, while the team captain, or "skip," gives directions, often by yelling, to place the stones where they want them to go.

After all 16 stones are thrown, the team with a stone closest to the center of the house scores one point for each of its stones that landed inside the house. The other team does not score at all in that round, called an "end." There are eight or 10 ends per game, depending on the event, and the team with the most points after all the ends have been played is the winner.

Here's a visual explainer that goes through the basics:

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Fun facts about curling

Tara Peterson of the USA Curling National Team shared some interesting facts about curling with Columbia Sportswear:

  • Modern curling stones are made of granite that comes from only two places: a quarry in Wales and an uninhabited island off the coast of Scotland called Ailsa Craig.
  • Curling is called curling because of the way the stone curves depending on how it's spun, but exactly how that happens is still a bit of a scientific mystery. Curling stones actually move in the opposite direction of what the turn would normally dictate according to physics.
  • Despite the yelling, curling is considered a polite "gentleman's" sport, with traditional etiquette rules observed before and after the game.
  • Though it may not be immediately obvious, you have to be in pretty good shape to curl. Throwing a 42-pound stone, even on ice, isn't as easy as it looks, and the person throwing it must remain crouched close to the ground for long periods. Sweeping also requires arm strength and cardiovascular endurance.

olympic sports, winter olympics, curling, curling stone, winter sports Curling requires more athleticism than it first appears.Photo credit: Canva

  • Curlers wear two different shoes, one designed for gripping the ice and the other for sliding. The slider sole is made of Teflon or stainless steel, while the grippy sole is made of rubber.
  • Curling is called the "roaring game," which might sound odd, but the sound of the stones gliding over the ice is apparently much louder in person than it sounds on TV.

Every sport is more fun to watch when you actually know what you're seeing, and curling is no exception. If you're wondering who to watch, Canada has traditionally dominated the sport, though Sweden trails by only two medals in total Olympic curling medals. And if you're curious how Scotland fares as the original home of the sport, its curlers compete under Great Britain's flag.

80s game show; just like mom; Fergie Olver; 80s childhood; family game show; body autonomy

Girl stops 80s game show host in his tracks as he tries to kiss her

The 80s seems like a completely different lifetime when it comes to what was considered acceptable behavior. Things people deemed acceptable or were just part of everyday expectations for television back in the 60s through well into the 90s would get stars blacklisted today. But there was one game show in the 80s that had moments so cringy that even for the times may have raised some eyebrows though everyone seemed to go along with it, except one brave little girl.

The Canadian show, Just Like Mom ran from 1980-1985 even with the uncomfortable moments between the game show host and young girls. The girls who were aged 7-12 would appear on the show with their mother answering questions about each other and competing in bake-offs to see which pair knew each other best. Just Like Mom was created by Catherine Swing, the wife of the show's host Fergie Olver who would often stand uncomfortably close to the girls and elicit kisses.


80s game show; just like mom; Fergie Olver; 80s childhood; family game show; body autonomy Mom hugging crying daughterPhoto credit: Canva

Recently a compilation video of the game show host behaving in a manner people might consider questionable is going viral. In the video the Olver stands near the girls, often putting his hand on their backs, placing his face close to theirs to ask questions. The very first clip shows 11-year-old Lee Ann, Olver hovers over her asking what color her eyes are.

"What color are your eyes?" Olver asks before the child tells him they're blue, to which he responds, "they're not blue, now don't tell me that. Look at me a little closer." Just as the girl leans in slightly, appearing hesitant to do so, Olver quickly kisses the child on the side of her mouth and declares, "they're green."

80s game show; just like mom; Fergie Olver; 80s childhood; family game show; body autonomy Dad kissing child on cheekPhoto credit: Canva

The audience sounds as if they didn't know how to react to the bizarre moment. Some people loudly gasp, others uncomfortably chuckle, while a few seem to let out a high pitched surprised squeal. The girl also laughs uneasily while the host remains extremely close. Video clip after video clip shows similar interactions where the host tries to either kiss the girls or have them kiss him but one little girl refused. While it appeared that she was nervous to do so in front of a live audience, on television and refusing a directive from an adult, she stood her ground.

This was a moment where parents can see in real time the benefit of teaching body autonomy and the power of teaching children that no is a complete sentence. Olver originally didn't accept the young girl's "no," attempting to coerce her into kissing him when she was clearly uncomfortable and uninterested in the request.

The host perches himself up close to the young girl and says, "you look like a girl who likes to give out hugs and kisses," to which the girl laughs with discomfort before saying, "not really." That didn't stop him, Olver continued, "not really? can I have a hug and a kiss?" This time the girl gives a very direct answer through nerves by shaking her head no while saying "uh-uh." She's clearly uncomfortable as she bites her fingernail trying to assert authority over her body against someone much older.

At this point the child has been clear. She immediately told the host she didn't give out hugs and kisses and when that didn't work she mustered the courage to say no more directly. Olver was still not accepting of the child's boundaries and continued to apply pressure by questioning her decision, "I can't have one?" Again the child shakes her head and says no but he persists, saying "even if I say...whisper in your ear that Alison you're going to win the show? I still can't have a hug and a kiss?" Alison sticks to her answer so Olver changes tactics, telling the child, "Well I guess you can't win the show then if I don't get a hug and a kiss."

80s game show; just like mom; Fergie Olver; 80s childhood; family game show; body autonomy Mom comforting daughterPhoto credit: Canva

Alison stayed firm in her no but the host's behavior resulted in the child's mother calling him a dirty old man. In the end the host appears to have moved on and told the girl she did a good job answering one of the questions, but to top the praise Olver attempts to sneak a kiss. The little girl didn't let that deter her as she quickly dodged his advance.

It seems apparent that Alison's parents instilled the idea of bodily autonomy in her giving her full permission to say no to adults and anyone else who dares to get in her space without consent. While the experience was probably not one that she would've ever wanted to have, that moment likely gave permission to other young girls watching to tell the host and other like him no. And no is a complete sentence, especially when it comes to someone's body. There's no further explanation needed. No further clarification. The answer is simply no. Well done Alison. Well done.

This article originally appeared in May.

Jeff Tweedy, Wilco, karaoke, viral video, music
Photo credit: Susan Miller Tweedy

Jeff Tweedy sings his own song at karaoke.

On a January evening at a restaurant in Mexico, El Jefe patiently waited for his name to be called by the karaoke host. When it was, he gently walked to the stage in a pink baseball hat and black, thick-rimmed glasses. As he approached, the host gave him instructions on how to use the microphone. "You've got to hold it up here and just don't yell in the mic," he said, illustrating as El Jefe humbly listened.

He then proceeded to sing "Jesus, Etc." almost better than its original singer, Jeff Tweedy of Wilco. There's a reason for that: El Jefe, as it turns out, is Jeff Tweedy.


The song is track five on Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, which was released in 2002. According to the liner notes, it was written by Tweedy and Jay Bennett, a former member of the band who passed away in 2009. Pitchfork hailed the tune as "the 61st best song of the decade," which is high praise, especially considering how much excellent indie-rock music was coming out at the time.

Stereogum's Chris DeVille wrote about the album's 20th anniversary, noting that Wilco streamed it at no charge. "A bold and uncommon move at that time, and one that probably made the album sound even more experimental for those with dial-up internet connections," he wrote. DeVille added, "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot is THE Wilco album — the one that cemented their stature as one of the all-time great American rock bands."

There's a kind of perfection to Tweedy singing his own song at karaoke, and not just because it conjures so many memories for Wilco fans. Watching Tweedy in a Clark Kent–like, plainclothed role, when most fans know he can become Superman at any given moment, is something extra special.

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Fans in the Instagram comments agreed.

"You guys are the coolest famous non-famous people ever," one person wrote. "How surreal. To write a song, make a record with that song (and many more) on it, and become well known in certain circles for that song and all the other songs, have that song turned into a karaoke selection because it has become that level of popularity, then sing that song like you're an everyday schmuck just doing karaoke one night on vacation, it's just…"

Another person described the scene and how lovely it all was: "My heart needed this. The children playing, palm trees swaying in the neon lights, that super fun 'Ladies' sign, a few enthusiastic 'woos' and a happy, humble El Jefe. Good stuff!"

One fan loved that Tweedy seemed to go unnoticed by the karaoke host. "My favorite part is the host showing him how to use the microphone," they wrote. Another person replied, "And the 'Jeffiest' reaction of playing it totally cool, no ego, totally kind, respecting the KJ's 'authority.' The least 'Do you have any idea who I am?' energy possible."

One comment summed up the many layers of coolness on display: "This is beautiful on so many levels. I always thought you 'made it' when your song ended up in a karaoke machine. Here it is, yet (maybe) no one knows him or the song — and that's perfectly fine with him. For that, I'm so happy for him. What a gift of a moment that must have been: to be respected, successful and famous without the bad fame part. That's the sweet spot. Just to put your hand in your pocket and sing your song for yourself and your family."

Upworthy had the honor of chatting with Tweedy's wife, Susan, who provided a little context for the evening. It all happened following this year's Sky Blue Sky festival, an all-inclusive vacation in Mexico featuring a musical lineup that included Dinosaur Jr., The Jayhawks, and, of course, Wilco.

"So after Jeff's festival, Sky Blue Sky, we stayed in the general area at a rental house for a few days to unwind," she said. "That night we were at La Buena Vida, a restaurant that apparently does karaoke every Wednesday evening."

Susan noted that she and their kids egged him on: "The kids and I told Jeff he should do it! He's never done it before, but it was all families and little kids running around, and we all thought it would be fun and funny! Our son Sammy checked to see if there were any Wilco songs available to do, and there were! We signed him up, and I think he was the last one to make it on for the night."

When asked whether Jeff was recognized, the answer was surprising.

"Nobody recognized him, although I did see a post a couple days later of someone who said they were there and that they were pretty sure it was him," she said. "But nobody said a word, and people were still talking and running around and mostly ignoring the karaoke during his whole song, just like for everybody else! It was really fun for all of us!!"

Mental Health

Man who created 'Reasons to Stay' website after brother's death, tearfully shares success story

People can write a letter to a stranger and be their reason to stay another day.

suicide prevention; suicide awareness; depression; mental illness; reasons to stay

Tearful man with head in his hands being comforted.

Editor's Note: This story discusses suicide. If you are having thoughts about taking your own life, or know of anyone who is in need of help, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a United States-based suicide prevention network of over 200+ crisis centers that provides 24/7 service via a toll-free hotline with the number 9-8-8. It is available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.

Mental illnesses like depression don't discriminate. It can hit anyone, and not everyone survives their fight with the condition. Ben West, a man from the United Kingdom, has intimate familiarity with what happens when someone loses their battle with depression. He lost his younger brother, Sam, to suicide eight years ago.


In an effort to help with his own grieving process and connect with those who may feel alone, he created a website. The video launching the site Reasons to Stay went viral due to its touching story and noble mission. It's a website that allows people from across the world to leave letters of encouragement to people who may be contemplating suicide. The hope is that someone needing a reason to stay one more day will find their reason in one of those letters.

suicide prevention; suicide awareness; depression; mental illness; reasons to stay Comfort in a hug: a shared moment of empathy and support.Photo credit: Canva

The website is simple: it displays the latest letter on the home page, offers sign ups for letters to go directly to your email in the form of a newsletter, and shares places to seek help. If someone wants to read a different letter, all they need to do is refresh the page.

"This letter was written by someone in the world that cares. It was delivered to you at random when you opened this page," the Reasons to Stay website explains.

The creation of this website was strictly an act of compassion for fellow humans, but recently, West received an email revealing that his site saved a life. The website's founder wept while sharing the news on his Instagram page, saying, "I got a message today, and I'm not going to share the message, but what I can share is that it worked. It worked for someone. We can be fairly confident that it really worked for someone."

suicide prevention; suicide awareness; depression; mental illness; reasons to stay A comforting hug during an emotional moment.Photo credit: Canva

He admits that the person still has a difficult journey ahead, but celebrates that they get to continue on at all. "Like I said before, social media, it can be such a bad place, but how amazing that it can be used for something like this. Like, that person, maybe it wouldn't reach them if it didn't go viral, so thank you so much, everyone, for sharing and getting involved in this over the last couple of weeks. What a special thing. What an amazing thing. It worked."

According to the Centers for Disease Control, "One person dies by suicide an average of every 11 minutes. Over 49,000 people lost their lives to suicide in 2022. Every year, millions of Americans think about, plan, or attempt suicide."

In August 2025, JAMA Network released an article urging people to consider human connection as a form of suicide prevention. The authors of the article share that there's power in human connection, writing, "At a time when individuals experiencing suicidality often feel unseen, unheard, and burdensome, structured follow-up sends a clear message: you matter. You are not forgotten."

Reasons to Stay is putting human connection at the forefront in hopes of saving lives. People are moved by his selfless gesture, with some sharing their own stories of survival. One person shares, "From someone who tried to, this is essential. Wish I had that back then. Will definitely use your site if those thoughts ever come back to me. I’m so proud of you, and so is Sam. We’re safer now."

suicide prevention; suicide awareness; depression; mental illness; reasons to stay Woman seated against brick wall, covering ears with hands.Photo credit: Canva

Another writes, "My dad took his own life. I wish he could’ve had a website like this to go to. I am sobbing happy tears to know that someone’s life was saved, and I'm also so incredibly sorry for your loss. I understand the ache— but you made something beautiful for your brother."

"You may or may not be familiar with David Kessler’s “The sixth stage of grief,” but in that book he suggests that the 6th stage is: finding meaning. You’ve created meaning by saving others. Sam’s spirit and legacy lives on through you and his life and death now means, not just something to you, but something to many others around the world. What an absolutely beautiful and healing way to honour Sam, and what a gift this is to the world. Thank you Sam. Thank you Ben. So special. So powerful," someone else kindly shares.