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aging

Health

Doctor explains how to accurately predict your longevity with simple at-home test

Adults should aim for a score of 8 or above.

via Pexels

A woman sitting cross-legged on a yoga mat

Death: It's hard to talk about, and sadly, even harder to avoid. That's why everyone wants to know how long they will live and there are many indicators that can show whether someone is thriving or on the decline. But scientists have yet to develop a magic formula to determine exactly how long someone should expect to live. Which, let's be real, is probably a good thing. Knowing exactly how much time you have left to enjoy your life could cause a lot of anxiety, to say the very least.

However, a doctor recently featured on the "Today" show says a straightforward test can reveal the likelihood that someone aged 51 to 80 will die in the near future. NBC News medical contributor Dr. Natalie Azar was on the "Today" show on March 8 and demonstrated how to perform the simple “sit to stand test” (aka sit-rising test or SRT) that can help determine the longevity of someone between 51 to 80.

The test is pretty simple. Go from standing to sitting cross-legged, and then go back to standing without using any parts of your body besides your legs and core to help you get up and down. The test measures multiple longevity factors, including heart health, balance, agility, core and leg strength and flexibility.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

You begin the test with a score of 10 and subtract points on your way up and down for doing the following:

Hand used for support: -1 point

Knee used for support: -1 point

Forearm used for support: -1 point

One hand on knee or thigh: -1 point

Side of leg used for support: -1 point

— (@)

A 2012 study published by the European Society of Cardiology found a correlation between the SRT score and how long people live.

The study was conducted on 2002 people, 68% of whom were men, who performed the SRT test and were followed by researchers in the coming years. The study found that “Musculoskeletal fitness, as assessed by SRT, was a significant predictor of mortality in 51–80-year-old subjects.”

Those who scored in the lowest range, 0 to 3, had up to a 6 times greater chance of dying than those in the highest scores (8 to 10). About 40% of those in the 0 to 3 range died within 11 years of the study.

aging, seniors, senior fitness, senior citizens, older adults, longevity, health, death, dying No matter what age you are, adding regular exercise to your life will reap a ton of benefits.Canva Photos

Azar distilled the study on "Today," saying: "The study found that the lower the score, you were seven times more likely to die in the next six years.”

"Eight points or higher is what you want," Azar said. "As we get older, we spend time talking cardiovascular health and aerobic fitness, but balance, flexibility and agility are also really important," she stressed. A score of eight or nine means you're allowed to roll forward onto your knees and then rise, which a lot of people will find more comfortable. If you can rise that way, you're still in a pretty good spot health wise.

One should note that the people who scored lowest on the test were the oldest, giving them a naturally elevated risk of death.

Dr. Greg Hartley, Board Certified Geriatric Clinical Specialist and associate professor at the University of Miami, told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution that we should take the study with a grain of salt. “Frailty, strength, muscle mass, physical performance—those things are all correlated to mortality, but I would caution everybody that correlation doesn’t mean causation,” he said.

And of course, the test doesn't take into account injuries or disabilities that may make doing the test impossible. But one of the study's authors says that the study is a call to take our mobility seriously.

“The more active we are the better we can accommodate stressors, the more likely we are to handle something bad that happens down the road,” Dr. Claudio Gil Araujo, told USA Today.

What should you do if you can't manage a good score on the SRT? First of all, don't panic! It's never too late to improve your overall health, fitness, and strength, so regular exercise is a great thing to incorporate if you're not already doing it.

seniors, longevity, physical fitness, exercise, health, aging Even low-impact exercise like yoga can increase your mobility and flexibility and, thus, your SRT scoreCanva Photos

A couple of specific skills that will help are boosting your ankle flexibility, hip mobility, and core strength. Trainers recommend incorporating squats, lunges, and planks into your regular routine. Just using your own bodyweight is plenty to get started, though if you're up for incorporating any added loads, the strength training will do wonders for your bone density, as well.

But remember that the SRT is just a measure of strength and mobility, which could correlate to an older person's likelihood of suffering from a fatal fall. It doesn't do anything to measure your cardiovascular help (vitally important especially in older people), for example. And it may not even be the most reliable longevity test out there. It has been criticized for it's extremely unnatural range of motion, for starters — rising by pushing up on the sides of our ankles with our knees pointed outward is certainly not representative of a real-life situation. Some doctors insist that your comfortable walking speed is a better indicator of health and longevity, while others say grip strength is the key measurement.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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longevity

Science

It feels like time accelerates as we get older. An easy 60-second fix can help slow it down.

Some fascinating research shows that our perception of time may be linked to the length of our heartbeats.

Jordan Benton/Canva

Time accelerates as we get older, but there are some interesting ways we can slow it down.

Imagine this scenario, if you will: You're scrolling along, minding your own business on the internet, when this little nugget comes across your timeline: "1980 and 2023 are as far apart as 1937 and 1980. Sleep tight, old fogies!"

Wait, what? Your first reaction is, "That can't be right," so you pull out the calculator and do the math yourself—several times because you're sure you must've missed a number somewhere each time. You remember how long ago 1937 seemed in 1980, and there's absolutely no way that much time passed between 1980 and 2023. Buy you're wrong. As the warped reality of time washes over you, you sit in stunned silence, contemplating the existential crisis you've just been thrown into.

— (@)

Why does time work this way? Why does it seem to get faster and faster and condense to make decades seem shorter and shorter as we age? And perhaps more importantly, how the heck do we stop time from feeling like a runaway freight train?

Here are a few theories about what creates the freight train phenomenon and what to do about it.

Time perception is relative—and kids perceive it differently

"Time flies when you're having fun" is a saying for a reason. Time also drags when you're doing drudgery work and feels like it stands still in moments of significance. And yet the ticking of seconds as they go by doesn't change tempo. We measure it with steady, unchanging beats, but how it feels changes constantly.

kids playing, time passing, perception of time Time moves more slowly for kids.Photo credit: Canva

This relativity exists in every passing moment, but it also exists in the bigger picture as well. The years felt like they passed by much more slowly when we were children, and by middle age, they feel like they pass in the blink of an eye. The pandemic gave us an even greater sense of this relativity as disruptions to our normal routines and the stress associated with the COVID-19 years messed with our sense of time. (On an odd side note, surveys show that our time perception during the pandemic varied a lot from place to place—people in some parts of the world felt that time moved more slowly, while others felt time moved more quickly.)

According to a 2023 Hungarian study published in Nature Scientific Reports, very young children perceive time differently than older children and adults. Researchers split 138 people into three age groups—pre-kindergarten, school-age and adults 18 and over—and showed them two videos of the same duration, one that was "eventful" and one that was "uneventful." Interestingly, the pre-K group perceived the eventful video to be longer, while the older children and adults saw the uneventful video as longer.

The way the study participants described the length of the videos in gestures was also telling. Young children were much more likely to use vertical hand gestures, connoting volume or magnitude, to indicate a length of time than the other two age groups. School-aged kids and adults tended to use horizontal gestures, indicating time as linear, increasing with age.

Our neural processing slows down as we age

Professor Adrian Bejan has a theory based on how neurons process signals. As we age, our neural networks increase in size and complexity and, as a result, process visual information at a slower rate. That slower processing means we create fewer mental images each second than we did when we were younger, thereby making time seem to slow down.

time, time perception, science of time, aging, neural processing, youth, lifespans, female aging, woman's face over the years A woman slowly ages over about 15 years. assets.rebelmouse.io

“People are often amazed at how much they remember from days that seemed to last forever in their youth, Bejan shared with Harvard University. "It’s not that their experiences were much deeper or more meaningful; it’s just that they were being processed in rapid fire.”

In other words, processing the same number of mental images we did in our youth takes longer now, somewhat counterintuitively making time seem to pass more quickly. So goes the theory, anyway.

It might simply be about time-to-life ratios

Another popular theory about why time feels different as a child than it does as an adult is the ratio of any given day, week or year to the amount of time we've been alive. To a 5-year-old, a year is 20% of their entire life. For a 50-year-old, a year only is 0.2% of their life, so it feels like it went by much more quickly.

hands, clocks, passage of time, age aging, old age, time perception, time flies An elderly person's hands holding a small clock.Photo credit: Canva

It's also a matter of how much change has happened in that year. A year in the life of a 5-year-old is full of rapid growth and change and learning and development. A year in the life of a 50-year-old probably isn't a whole lot different than when they were 48 or 49. Even if there are major life changes, the middle-aged brain isn't evolving at nearly the same rate as a child. A 50-year-old looking back at the past year will have a lot fewer changes to process than a 5-year-old, therefore the year will seems like it went by a lot faster.

“Our perception of days, weeks, years and that kind of time seems to be especially influenced by our perspective: Are we in the moment experiencing it, or are we looking backward on time?” psychology professor Cindy Lustig told the University of Michigan.

The key to slowing it all down? Be mindful of the present moment.

Lustig has a point. When we are in the moment, our perception of time is much different than when we look back. So, being fully conscious in the present moment can help us rein in the freight train effect.

One way to do that is to be mindful of your physical existence in this moment. Feel your heart beating. Feel your breath going in and out. Cornell University psychology professor Adam Anderson, Ph.D., conducted a study that found our perception of time may be linked with the length of our heartbeats. (Study participants were fitted with electrocardiograms and asked to listen to a brief audio tone. They perceived the tone as longer after a longer heartbeat and shorter after a shorter one.) He suggests starting a stopwatch, closing your eyes and focusing on your breathing for what you think feels like a minute. Then, check your time to see how accurate your estimation was.

Breathe World Series GIF by MLB Giphy

“This can give you a sense of how much your experience of your body is related to your experience of time,” Anderson told WebMD. “It will help teach you to enjoy the pure experience of time.”

You can also use focused breathing to purposely slow down your heart rate, and thus slow down your time perception. “We show that slow heart rates—that is, a longer duration between heartbeats—dilates time, slowing it down," Anderson said.

We can also alter our perception of time by taking in novel experiences, such as traveling to new places. According to Steve Taylor, author of Making Time: Why Time Seems To Pass at Different Speeds and How to Control It, people who go on adventurous trips report that their vacations feel longer than those who choose a predictable destination. You can also make small changes to your daily routine, such as trying new foods or taking a new route home from work to take in some new stimuli and slow your perception of time.

A study in 2024 found that people who do intense exercise experience a time warp, feeling like they exercised longer than they really did, so if you want to temporarily slow down time, you can push your body hard during a workout.

- YouTube youtu.be

Finally, try to take in the world the way you did as a small child. Take note of life's wonders. Engage fully in whatever you're doing. Notice details and take mental pictures as much as you can. Time goes by fast when we're distracted, so training our attention on the here and now can help. Ultimately, we can strive to perceive time more like we did when we were little, in its full depth and magnitude instead of a narrow, straight line.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Health

Hospice nurse shares one comforting sign that someone is going to die within 4 weeks

'Visioning' is often a great comfort to people who may be scared of death.

via Canva Photos

A nurse explains how 'visioning' 3-4 weeks before death works.

Death is the final mystery that we all must face and it’s natural to be scared about going through the process. Experts say a few things can help, including using our fear to live a purposeful life and even making jokes, or using 'gallows humor'. One bit of good news is that we tend to get a little bit less afraid of death as we age. But in general, it helps to not shy away from death completely. Learning and talking about it is actually a good thing.

A new video by a hospice nurse shows an excellent reason for people to feel comfortable facing the unknown. Julie McFadden posts videos helping to demystify the dying process and bring comfort to people with a loved one in hospice care, or who may be dying themselves. Her profile reads, "Helping understand death to live better and die better." McFadden is also the author of the bestselling book, “Nothing to Fear.”

Hospice Nurse Julie has earned over half a million subscribers and has witnessed over a hundred deaths. In a recent video, she reveals that people are often comforted by friends and relatives who have passed away in their final days.

She says that when people begin experiencing these visions, it’s a sign that they will be passing away within a few weeks.

"Here's one sign that someone is close to death that most people don't believe happens,” Julie begins the video.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"Usually a few weeks to a month before someone dies, if they're on hospice, they will start seeing dead loved ones, dead relatives, dead pets. This happens so often that we actually put it in our educational packets that we give to patients and their families when they come on hospice so they aren't surprised or scared when it happens,” she continues.

The experience is called visioning; although no one knows how or why it happens, it’s common among all her patients.

"We don't know why it happens, but we see it in definitely more than half of our patients," she continues.

People often believe that the visions are caused by a lack of oxygen to the brain. However, Julie says that isn’t true. “Because when it does happen, most people are alert and oriented and are at least a month from death, so they don't have low oxygen," she said.

The good news is that the visioning experience is almost always comforting for those who are nearing the end.

death, dying, hospice, fear of dying, hospice nurse, mortality, aging, seniors, spirituality, visions Dying patients may be visited 3-4 weeks before death by loved ones, deceased spouses, or even dead pets. Photo by Anirudh on Unsplash

It often involves relatives who 'come from the other side' to let them know everything will be okay and encourage them to let go and pass away. People also experience being taken on journeys with loved ones or having sensory experiences from the past, such as smelling their grandmother's perfume or father’s cigar.

These visitors can also appear several at a time. Patients might report the room feeling 'crowded' like they are being joined by many people at once. It's possible they may be visited by 'spirits' or people they don't know, though that's less common.

Christopher Kerr, a CEO of Hospice & Palliative Care, an organization that provides palliative care in Buffalo, New York, says that the relatives that often appear in these visions are people who protected and comforted the dying parent when they were alive. So, they may see a parent who nurtured them but not one they feared.

Kerr has extensively studied the mysterious phenomena that happen when people die but has no real explanation for why the visioning experience happens. “I have witnessed cases where what I was seeing was so profound, and the meaning for the patient was so clear and precise, that I almost felt like an intruder,” he told BBC Brazil. “And trying to decipher the etiology, the cause, seemed futile. I concluded that it was simply important to have reverence, that the fact that I could not explain the origin and process did not invalidate the experience for the patient.”

In a more in-depth video, Hospice Nurse Julie shares a real video of a dying woman experience visioning. It's extremely powerful:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Again, experts agree that once your loved one begins experiencing these visions, it's likely that they will pass on in the next 3-4 weeks. Remember that they are not a symptom to be treated or a concern to be addressed, as long as they aren't causing distress. They are simply a comforting sign of things to come.

It's comforting to know that for many, the final days of life may not be filled with pain and fear but instead with a sense of peace and joy. While we may never fully understand the reasons behind these mysterious visions, if they bring calm during such a daunting time, we can simply be grateful for their presence. They’re kind of like life, in general. In the end, we may not really know what it was all about, but we can be happy that it happened.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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hospice

Science

Why time seems to speed up as we age and how you can slow it down

You can't stop time but there are some hacks to slow down your perception of it.

via Jordan Benton/Canva

An hour glass and a pithy tweet.

You're going along, minding your own business on the internet, when suddenly, this little gem comes across your timeline: "1980 and 2023 are as far apart as 1937 and 1980. Sleep tight, old fogies."

Your first reaction is, "Nuh-uh, no way," so you pull out the calculator to do the math yourself—several times because you're sure you must've missed a number somewhere. You remember how long ago 1937 seemed in 1980, and there's no possible way that much time has passed between 1980 and now. Then, as the warped reality of time washes over you, you sit and stare in stunned silence, contemplating the existential crisis.

Why does time work this way? Why does it seem to get faster and faster and condense to make decades seem shorter and shorter as we age? And perhaps more importantly, how the heck do we stop time from feeling like a runaway freight train?

Here are a few theories about what creates the freight train phenomenon.

time, time perception, science of time, hour glass, aging, neural processing, youth, lifespans, ocean A hand holding an hour glass by the ocean.via Canva/Photos

Time perception is relative—and kids perceive it differently

time, time perception, science of time, aging, neural processing, youth, lifespans, female aging, woman's face over the years A woman slowly ages over about 15 years.via Canva/Photos

Our neural processing slows down as we age

In other words, processing the same number of mental images we did in our youth takes longer now, somewhat counterintuitively making time seem to pass more quickly. So goes the theory, anyway.

It might simply be about time-to-life ratios

hands, clocks, passage of time, age aging, old age, time perception, time flies An elderly person's hands holding a small clock.via Canva/Photos

The key to slowing it all down? Be mindful of the present moment.

“This can give you a sense of how much your experience of your body is related to your experience of time,” Anderson told WebMD. “It will help teach you to enjoy the pure experience of time.”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

This article originally appeared last year.

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Popular

Jude York's mom joins him for ABBA's 'Slipping Through My Fingers' and now we're all a mess

The lyrics hit different when you sing them with an aging parent.

Courtesy of Jude York/Instagram

Jude York's mom, Liza Beamish, had been a professional singer.

If you're in the mood for a good, cleansing cry session, you're in luck. We've got something that just might do it, so grab a tissue and settle in for this sweet little musical moment between a mother and son.

It began in February of 2025 when 26-year-old Australian music artist Jude York casually recorded himself singing ABBA's "Slipping Through My Fingers" in his family's home. For those who are unfamiliar with the song, "Slipping Through My Fingers" is about a mother's feelings about the speed at which her little girl is growing up. With lyrics like Sometimes, I wish that I could freeze the picture / And save it from the funny tricks of time / Slipping through my fingers it's easy to see how touching it is.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Then there's the chorus:

I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind?
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Oof. You get the picture. As York was singing the song, his mother joined in to harmonize with him. "Getting older is realizing these lyrics work both ways," York wrote, and seeing him sing the words with his aging mom…welp, it got people right in the heartstrings.

@itsjudeyork
when mum starts harmonizing 🥺 #coversforlovers

The video went incredibly viral, with over 46 million views and thousands of comments, most of which were some version of "Someone should have held my hands for this," and "Great, now I'm sobbing. I was not prepared."

But that was just their little ditty in the dining room. There was more to come. York's mother, Liza Beamish, had actually had a successful career as an opera singer, and the two had performed together many times starting when York was only 9. Beamish is retired now, but at a live performance on Aug 16, 2025, York brought her on stage to sing "Slipping Through My Fingers" with him. As her voice rang out, the crowd cheered.

"Mum had no idea people still wanted to hear her sing," York wrote. The video again wrecked millions, partly because Beamish herself got so emotional. It was the first time they've sung the song for a live audience together. So beautiful.

See on Instagram

Just like the first time around, tens of thousands gushed over the gorgeous duet and praised York for honoring his mother's voice this way. Beamish had been nervous about people hearing her "older" voice and about her hands shaking when they recorded the song together in February of 2025, but clearly people are thrilled by the performance.

"We're both so blown away by the response, we can't believe it," York tells Upworthy. "Mum has always been 100% herself, whether she's nervous, excited, sad or joyous and that authenticity just immediately makes people want to root for her. In that moment on stage, Mum was just overwhelmed and deeply surprised by the love the audience was showing her. I also think our relationship somehow reminds people of their own mothers or children and the music enhances that."

@itsjudeyork
Replying to @Ana Kohler pt 2 the end was so sweet 🥺 thank you for being an audience of 15 million cheering my mum on. now it’s your turn to sing 🫶

It's true, and people who have experienced the physical and/or cognitive decline of an aging parent are feeling it particularly keenly. Beamish has developed some kind of condition that's causing her hands to shake, and it's a visible reminder for those watching that at some point our relationship with our parents flips. They cared for us as we grew up; we care for them as they grow old. The roles are so similar in so many ways, which is why the song feels so poignant through the lens of seeing our parents age.

The feeling that I'm losing her forever
And without really entering her world
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl

Phew. No wonder these two go viral every time they sing this song together. Look for the single, "Slipping Through My Fingers All the Time" by Jude York on Spotify or wherever you stream music. And you can follow Jude York on Instagram and TikTok.

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music

Culture

Gen Xers and Boomers share outrageous behaviors that used to be considered 'normal'

"All my parents' friends used to give me a spanking for each year on my birthday."

Photo by lil artsy/Pexels

Older people are sharing memories of wild behaviors and norms that would be considered "boundary crossing" today

How many times have you looked back to things you thought were "normal" from your childhood and thought "Huh, that was actually kinda weird in hindsight"? Times change, and what's considered "normal and acceptable" change with them. That's not automatically good or bad, necessarily, but hopefully humanity is evolving such that we learn from our mistakes and recognize room for improvement.

Culture, social progress, and technology all play a role in how our behaviors evolve. We hope our behavior changes for the better, and sometimes it does, but some folks might disagree and think things were better back in simpler times.

In that vein, someone asked Gen Xers and Boomers on Reddit, "What are some things that would be considered rude or boundary crossing today but were perfectly normal and acceptable when you were growing up?" and the answers reveal how much has shifted in the past handful of decades.

If you're over 40, enjoy this slightly disturbing trip down memory lane. If you're under 40, yes, all of these things really happened on a regular basis.

Scolding other people's kids (even strangers)

Raising a child was seen as more of a community effort than it is today, which resulted in perfect strangers doling out discipline.

"Scolding someone else's child. I remember getting corrected by strangers."

gen x, boomers, millennials, gen alpha, gen z, generations, generational differences, culture, etiquette Reprimanding other people's kids in public. Giphy

"Those were the lessons that stuck the most too for me. When a family friend or stranger corrected me I knew without doubt I done f'd up. I didn't like the trend during the late 80's into 90's of everyone telling each other to mind their own business and not correct a child that wasn't theirs ~ horrible logic that I feel totally contributed to where we are at today with nobody considering other peoples opinions on things."

"OMG yes! in my neighborhood, whoever's house you were at, if you acted up, their mom was expected to let you know, and even send you home! it's just how things were."

"Kids were basically community property."

People are split on whether this development is ultimately good or bad.

Showing up or dropping by unannounced

Before cell phones, people didn't always call or text before going to someone's house. Company could just show up at any time. People had snacks on hand specifically for unexpected guests. It was a thing.

"Possibly stopping in at a friend’s house unannounced. That used to be fairly common when everyone didn’t have a phone in his or her pocket."

"You never knew who, or how many, would show up at our house on a Friday night for a game of penny ante poker or Yahtzee in the 60's and 70's."

gen x, boomers, millennials, gen alpha, gen z, generations, generational differences, culture, etiquette Showing up to someone's house unannounced. Giphy

"I do miss that. We always had extra snacks for guests available because we never knew when someone might just show up."

"We always had a Pepperidge Farms Coconut cake in the freezer. My mother would take it out to thaw as soon as company showed up."

"A corollary of this was that you were also expected to have your clothes on and be somewhat presentable while you were at home, since you never know who would be dropping by."

"Hell, me and my friends would just walk into each other's house like we lived there. None of the parents seemed to mind either. I often ended up eating meals at their homes and them at mine."

People still show up out of nowhere in movies and TV shows, though. Probably because texting isn't quite as cinematic!

Birthday spankings

Okay, yeah, this one is weird. It was a tradition to get a spanking for every year of your life on your birthday, and it wasn't even just parents who did this. Teachers, your parents' friends, etc.

"All my parents' friends used to give me a spanking for each year on my birthday. Does anyone else remember this? Birthday spankings? So weird."

"And a pinch to grow an inch."

"My 4th grade teacher did this to all of us in front of the whole class. She ended it with a "pinch to grow on" and literally pinched our butts. This was around 2001 in Indianapolis. I don't recall anyone ever having an issue with it at the time, but looking back it was definitely odd. She was a great teacher and I have nothing bad to say about her at all. It was just a different time."

gen x, boomers, millennials, gen alpha, gen z, generations, generational differences, culture, etiquette Birthday spankings and punches. Giphy

"Yessssss! I'm in MD and was in elementary school in the 80's. If it was our birthday we would pick another kid to spank us in front of the whole grade, so if turning 9 you would get 9 smacks on your butt and all the kids would shout "ONE! TWO!..." 😂😂😂😂 I can't imagine that happening now!"

"Oh god! In a school club we would all line up and the birthday girl to crawl between all our legs as we spanked her on birthdays. What a crazy tradition!"

"The spanking machine! Kids would line up in a row, legs open, and you would crawl through, while kids slapped your butt. Sometimes singing 'today is spankin’ day!'"

Later, the birthday spankings evolved in birthday arm punches — again, one for every year. It's really hard to imagine anyone getting away with this in 2025.

Actual spankings. With a paddle. At school.

School principals, vice principals and sometimes teachers kept a paddle at their desk, which would be used to whack kids who misbehaved. Corporal punishment was the gold standard for behavior modification. Hacking, whacking, paddling—so many names for this woefully outdated practice.

"The big paddle that one of the teachers would possess that would be used on your hind quarters at their whim. No parent permission needed."

"The (completely backward) school I attended in 7th grade in 1999-2000 still spanked kids. My math teacher spanked a kid in class at least once a week. This was the deep south and very different from other schools I went to, it was quite the culture shock."

"I would get the paddle or else my desk kicked over while I was in it, my head would hit that floor HARD! I don’t know which was worse."

gen x, boomers, millennials, gen alpha, gen z, generations, generational differences, culture, etiquette Corporal punishment in schools. Giphy

"In 1987 my mom walked me into the school office and told everyone including the principle that under NO circumstances is anyone to paddle or spank me for discipline and if I misbehaved they were to simply call her about it. Their jaws dropped. That would not have happened anyways because I was a very well behaved and respectful child."

"I definitely got the big paddle in the vice principal's office."

Shockingly, "corporal punishment" as it's called is still legal in many states and regularly practiced in some private schools.

Smoking indoors everywhere

It's impossible to explain to young people today how ubiquitous smoking used to be. Like, it was considered rude not to have ashtrays in your home. High schools had smoking areas. Restaurants, airplanes, waiting rooms—people smoked everywhere.

"I can recall the nurses at the triage in the hospital in my home town, smoking away while working. The 80s man, crazy time."

"I was born in 82, there’s a picture of my mother holding me shortly after I was born, laying in a hospital bed, and on her bedside table is a pack of reds and an ashtray."

"And on airplanes and trains. I remember riding the L in Chicago with people smoking on the cars."

"Smoking in class at college."

gen x, boomers, millennials, gen alpha, gen z, generations, generational differences, culture, etiquette Smoking indoors. Giphy

"Smoking in grocery stores and putting out butts on the floor.

Teachers with ash trays on their desks smoking during class."

"My parents didn't smoke, but they (1970s) kept a guest ashtray in the house in case a visitor wanted to light up. Complained endlessly about the smoke smell once the person was gone, but it would have been rude to tell them to take it outside or wait."

The first question a restaurant hostess used to ask you was "Smoking or non-smoking?" if you can believe it.

Sexual harassment

Not that this was ever normal or acceptable, but it was tolerated to a disturbing level.

"Until Anita Hill, I had never even heard the term Sexual Harassment. I literally had no idea it was a thing. You were female, you were employed, men could make insistent advances with zero repercussions. One of my co-workers finally slept with the boss just to try to get him to leave her alone. This was NORMAL. We expected it to happen and accepted that it would, we just had to deal with it."

gen x, boomers, millennials, gen alpha, gen z, generations, generational differences, culture, etiquette Rampant sexual harassment. Giphy

"I was told to lighten up because it was a compliment."

" I got my first job in 1973 when I was 15. I worked in the restaurant business and waited tables all through college. It was pervasive and customers (men) would say many unwanted things as well. My first adult job was selling pharmaceuticals in 1984 and the first thing my regional manager told me during orientation was if a doctor did or said anything inappropriate handle it anyway you saw fit and then call and tell me about. He made it clear we didn’t have to put up with any BS and were free to slap anyone if we needed to. By the nineties sexual harassment wasn’t gone but was getting called out in a big way. Until there was a name for sexual harassment we knew we were uncomfortable but didn’t really have a way to express it in a meaningful and united manner."

"My friends and I were grabbed constantly in middle school by boys in early 90s. It never occurred to us to tell anyone and I honestly don’t think they would have cared. We just shared our shame amongst ourselves."

"Men would randomly grab and touch women all the time when I was growing up. Boomers were the worst about it, but I’m GenX and even we had it somewhat normalized. We’d gotten a clue that it wasn’t great, but we hadn’t yet realized it was actually sexual assault when someone would fondle your butt or breasts unbidden. Or when someone would grab you and kiss you. If you complained you were told to lighten up."

Watching old films and TV shows can be a bit cringeworthy for this exact reason. Inappropriate comments and contact at work was often seen as a joke and "just good fun."

The drastic policing of what women wore under their clothes

Imagine having all the girls line up in gym class while the teacher runs his finger down each girl's back to make sure she was wearing a bra. Imagine it being unheard of to not wear pantyhose and show bare skin on your legs while wearing a skirt. We still police what women and girls wear in some places, but it's not as bad as it used to be.

"I’ve been told that women were expected to wear 'foundation garments' at work, and if they didn’t, then they might get reprimanded. I’m talking about longline bras and girdles."

gen x, boomers, millennials, gen alpha, gen z, generations, generational differences, culture, etiquette Policing of women's underwear. Giphy

"In the 80s, one of my friends got sent to the office for not wearing a bra to high school."

"Until 1999, I was required to wear pantyhose at work. Nuts! And they dictated 'suntan' color!"

"Not sure what I spent more $ on - pantyhose or clear nail polish to stop the runs."

"I remember being a kid in the 90s my mom going from store to store looking for slips to put under my dresses, she had a whole section of her closet devoted to them. I hated them and didn't understand their purpose. Still don't. I'm so glad those are in the past."

People shared other things as well, such as how common it was to touch total strangers or to cut through people's yards to get to where you were going, and it's a wild ride through shifting social norms. Some things are definitely best left in the past, but some lend themselves to a stronger sense of community and might be worth revisiting. It does make you wonder what things from today will show up on a list like this decades from now.

You can see more on the r/AskOldPeople thread here.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles

generational differences

Modern Families

Adult children share how they got over the 'guilt' of putting their parents in nursing homes

"It's just so hard taking the role of parent to your own parent."

Image via Canva/Goodboy Picture Company

People share how they overcome guilt of putting their parents in nursing homes.

It's a painful transition to watch your parents grow old and need help being taken care of. For many adult children, the responsibility falls on them to be caretaker. Often, it's an overwhelming decision.

The question about seeking additional help caring for aging parents from nursing homes or assisted living homes can be conflicting. It can also bring lots of guilt.

To help support others going through this difficult transition, a group of adult children with aging parents opened up about how they dealt with the guilt of putting their parents in nursing homes. They shared their personal experiences and how they processed the raw emotions of deciding what was best for their parents.

These are 11 real stories of how people overcame guilt about putting their aging parents in nursing homes.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Well, my Dad wasn't safe in his home on his own. Wasn't eating well. Threw trash and soiled underwear wherever. Had a biblical rat infestation in his hoarded Y2K food supply. Had said rats chew through his water pump's power supply so he lost running water. Now he's fed well, is taking his meds, is in a clean environment, has transportation to medical appointments, and has people all around him for when he has falls. So all that guilt is miniscule compared to his improved safety. It may not be as dire for your Dad, but it sounds like he'd be safer too. It's rough making the argument for it and following through though. Wish you the best." - Ariwara_no_Narihira

"Totally this^. If they escape you just once, guilt is gone. Where the guilt comes in is if you put them there and forget them. Visit often, have meaningful interactions (if only on your side) try to see the glimpses of their old self, make them smile every single time. Cherish every moment, even knowing they are a fraction of themselves as one day it won’t be an option. Speaking from someone that has been there." - eeekkk9999

"Dealing with this right now with my grandmother. I'm also a caregiver for my disabled mom and brother. My mom and brother have accepted their limitations and help me rather than hinder me. My grandmother on the other hand is in that phase of life where she thinks she is firing on all cylinders but isn't and gets mad when I try to get her to a place that can ensure her safety. What helped me a lot was the notion that she would get mad me no matter what. I'd rather have her mad at me for putting her in a facility designed to care for people like her, than her being mad at me while being a hazard to her own health (while driving me crazy in the process.) You can't avoid the hurt. The anger, the frustration, the sadness....it will happen regardless. So might as well choose what's best. You'd want someone to be brave enough to deal with you in your twilight years as well." - 331845739494

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"As far as the guilt, the situation was beyond what I could do for her. I was so burnt out from being on high alert that a social worker told me flat out something HAD to change or I was likely to be in the hospital or dead within the next four to six weeks. I was severely sleep deprived and my patience was on fumes. Now I can be the caring daughter instead of the inadequate caregiver. We still have our moments, however mom is doing much better where she is in spite of some declines in her health." - DTW_Tumbleweed

"It's hard but so is losing your sanity. You and sis are not trained or medically qualified for this level of care management. I felt guilt putting mom in a home but she absolutely could not be left alone for one hour because she would get so crazy." - Vegetable-Fix-4702

"I agonized over this for years. One day my mother found some of her photos chewed up by mice. We called Orkin, they said 'you should vacate for 2 weeks.' A nearby Assisted Living place was offering a one month "tryout" so I had her try it. She made some friends there, and after 2 weeks the thought of going back to a house she had to clean, was too much. She said it felt like living in her dorm again. But 'temporarily!' Yes, yes, temporarily. After a few years, it was clear she'd have to sell her house (those places are expensive) so I moved her to one close to my house; after that she kind of forgot about her house so I took the liberty ..." - benri

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"My Dad is in a home and he hates it. He yells at Mum and myself every time we visit. Tries to guilt trip us. But it’s the best thing for him. Mum is a short small woman, Dad is/was over six feet and he was struggling getting himself to the bathroom on his walker. Kept falling over and needing to call the ambulance to get back up. I live two hours away. It’s not ideal, but it’s physically the best place for him. He refused to have carers do anything but the basics, Mum never got a break." - ThehillsarealiveRia

"For your own peace of mind, I think a big part of it is semantics. Instead of saying that 'I put my dad in a nursing home,' say 'I moved my dad to a place that can better care for his needs.' The words 'moved' vs 'put' makes a big difference in perspective." - andysandygirl

"Guilt is the nemesis of caregivers. Guilt is our compass that tells us we have done something wrong. Placing your father in a care residence where he can get the help, support and healthcare he needs is not wrong. Yes, it does make you 'feel guilty', as if you have failed him, perhaps? I work with many caregivers who get to this point with a parent. The real struggle is their own emotions. Visit him often, be there a lot initially to help with the adjustment phase. I hear you say that both you and your sister are 'running yourself ragged...' this is not good for your health. His being stubborn is often just needing to hold on to his independence. Showing respect for that and finding a way to sell the cars, the house making it his decision. This is a very hard thing to do. It can wrench at your heart. As long as you don't abandon him, you are doing what is needed for all." - lifelovelegacy

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"I wish we could drop the stigma associated with guilt and the use of assisted living, nursing homes, rehabs, etc. Some of these places are horrible. But that’s the way it is with everything. Some are great. Personally, I felt relief when my dad entered assisted living. He is surrounded by professionals. There are systems in place for the situations he encounters. There are more people watching him and they have more experience than my family does. But, most of all, he has a much better social life because he has friends he sees regularly. Social interaction is key." - inflewants

"You don’t, you just learn to tolerate it. Serve God, yourself, and then others in that order. If you are doing your best, that’s all you can do. Guilt is a reasonable emotion. So is relief. Give yourself grace." - cutekthx

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Jude York's mom joins him for ABBA's 'Slipping Through My Fingers' and now we're all a mess

The lyrics hit different when you sing them with an aging parent.

Gen Xers and Boomers share outrageous behaviors that used to be considered 'normal'

"All my parents' friends used to give me a spanking for each year on my birthday."

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Sexual harassment

The drastic policing of what women wore under their clothes

Adult children share how they got over the 'guilt' of putting their parents in nursing homes

"It's just so hard taking the role of parent to your own parent."

Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman shares 'really weird' trick to fall asleep in five minutes

A hundred years ago, everyone wore hats. In 1960, they suddenly stopped. Here's why.

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