upworthy

death

Health

Hospice nurse shares one comforting sign that someone is going to die within 4 weeks

'Visioning' is often a great comfort to people who may be scared of death.

via Canva Photos

A nurse explains how 'visioning' 3-4 weeks before death works.

Death is the final mystery that we all must face and it’s natural to be scared about going through the process. Experts say a few things can help, including using our fear to live a purposeful life and even making jokes, or using 'gallows humor'. One bit of good news is that we tend to get a little bit less afraid of death as we age. But in general, it helps to not shy away from death completely. Learning and talking about it is actually a good thing.

A new video by a hospice nurse shows an excellent reason for people to feel comfortable facing the unknown. Julie McFadden posts videos helping to demystify the dying process and bring comfort to people with a loved one in hospice care, or who may be dying themselves. Her profile reads, "Helping understand death to live better and die better." McFadden is also the author of the bestselling book, “Nothing to Fear.”

Hospice Nurse Julie has earned over half a million subscribers and has witnessed over a hundred deaths. In a recent video, she reveals that people are often comforted by friends and relatives who have passed away in their final days.

She says that when people begin experiencing these visions, it’s a sign that they will be passing away within a few weeks.

"Here's one sign that someone is close to death that most people don't believe happens,” Julie begins the video.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"Usually a few weeks to a month before someone dies, if they're on hospice, they will start seeing dead loved ones, dead relatives, dead pets. This happens so often that we actually put it in our educational packets that we give to patients and their families when they come on hospice so they aren't surprised or scared when it happens,” she continues.

The experience is called visioning; although no one knows how or why it happens, it’s common among all her patients.

"We don't know why it happens, but we see it in definitely more than half of our patients," she continues.

People often believe that the visions are caused by a lack of oxygen to the brain. However, Julie says that isn’t true. “Because when it does happen, most people are alert and oriented and are at least a month from death, so they don't have low oxygen," she said.

The good news is that the visioning experience is almost always comforting for those who are nearing the end.


death, dying, hospice, fear of dying, hospice nurse, mortality, aging, seniors, spirituality, visions Dying patients may be visited 3-4 weeks before death by loved ones, deceased spouses, or even dead pets. Photo by Anirudh on Unsplash

It often involves relatives who 'come from the other side' to let them know everything will be okay and encourage them to let go and pass away. People also experience being taken on journeys with loved ones or having sensory experiences from the past, such as smelling their grandmother's perfume or father’s cigar.

These visitors can also appear several at a time. Patients might report the room feeling 'crowded' like they are being joined by many people at once. It's possible they may be visited by 'spirits' or people they don't know, though that's less common.

Christopher Kerr, a CEO of Hospice & Palliative Care, an organization that provides palliative care in Buffalo, New York, says that the relatives that often appear in these visions are people who protected and comforted the dying parent when they were alive. So, they may see a parent who nurtured them but not one they feared.

Kerr has extensively studied the mysterious phenomena that happen when people die but has no real explanation for why the visioning experience happens. “I have witnessed cases where what I was seeing was so profound, and the meaning for the patient was so clear and precise, that I almost felt like an intruder,” he told BBC Brazil. “And trying to decipher the etiology, the cause, seemed futile. I concluded that it was simply important to have reverence, that the fact that I could not explain the origin and process did not invalidate the experience for the patient.”

In a more in-depth video, Hospice Nurse Julie shares a real video of a dying woman experience visioning. It's extremely powerful:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Again, experts agree that once your loved one begins experiencing these visions, it's likely that they will pass on in the next 3-4 weeks. Remember that they are not a symptom to be treated or a concern to be addressed, as long as they aren't causing distress. They are simply a comforting sign of things to come.

It's comforting to know that for many, the final days of life may not be filled with pain and fear but instead with a sense of peace and joy. While we may never fully understand the reasons behind these mysterious visions, if they bring calm during such a daunting time, we can simply be grateful for their presence. They’re kind of like life, in general. In the end, we may not really know what it was all about, but we can be happy that it happened.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles
hospice
HealthPublic Health
Fatherhood

Boy breaks down crying after learning his new puppy was a gift from his late father

47-year-old Joe was allergic to dogs, so he knew exactly what to get his son for when he wasn't around anymore.

via Inside Edition/YouTube andWZZM13
Boy moved to tears after learning his new puppy was a gift from his recently deceased father

For some people, when they come face to face with death, they begin to think a lot about their legacy and what they'll leave behind. Others worry about who will take care of their family and loved ones with them gone. Some people film videos or write cards for birthdays and other special occasions ahead of time, while others opt for even bigger and more emotional gestures and posthumous gifts.

On January 8, 2020, 47-year-old Joe Kavaluskis lost his nine-year battle with multiple myeloma, a rare blood cancer. He left behind a wife and two sons after his passing. But that didn't stop him from fulfilling one of his son's dreams a week later on his 13th birthday.

In the final days of his life, he told his wife, Melanie, to buy their son, Logan, a puppy after he passed. He thought the dog would brighten his spirits after such a loss and it was something he always wanted but couldn't have. Joe was allergic to dogs so he couldn't have one in the home.

kids, puppies, dogs, animals, pets, cancer, death, fathers, dads, family, love, heartwarming The boy's father was allergic to dogs, so they never could keep one in their home. Photo by IgorTheGoodBoy on IG — Boston Terrier on Unsplash

"He said, 'Just promise that when I do pass, that you get Logan a puppy as soon as you can, because I know that it will bring him a lot of comfort,'" Melanie Kavaluskis told Inside Edition.

Throughout his childhood, Logan had hermit crabs and lizards, but never the puppy he always wanted. When he was 3 years old he got a stuffed Boston terrier and named it Puppers and took it everywhere he went for years.

Joe thought it was the right time for his son to have a real Boston terrier of his own.

A week after Joe's passing, Melanie told her son Logan they had to drive to Midland, Michigan to pick up a puppy, but he had no idea it was a gift for him. Halfway through the drive home, his cousin Jon broke the news.

"That's from your dad. That's your dog," Jon told an astonished Logan. "Really?" Logan replied.

The 13-year-old boy looked down at the dog and he still couldn't believe it was his. "'Dad wanted you to have a puppy," his cousin said.

Best of all, the boy's emotional reaction to the news was captured on video, making for a truly incredible moment and memory for the still-grieving family.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

The pain of the loss is still fresh for Logan in the video, and you can see the exact moment his emotions come spilling out. It's incredibly powerful.

"Words can't explain the shock," Logan later told WZZM13. "I had to ask 'really?' again, just to make sure it was my dog and not a horrid prank."

The family has named the dog Indy and Logan says he's a great fit for the family.

kids, puppies, dogs, animals, pets, cancer, death, fathers, dads, family, love, heartwarming A Boston Terrier can't replace a dad, but it can help. Photo by Kindred Hues Photography on Unsplash

"He fits to all of our needs. Cuddles with my mom and my brother and plays with me, unless I want him to relax," Logan said.

Melanie thinks that her husband's final gesture may have been his best.

"He got it right. This was amazing. This gift is just perfect. Perfect timing," she said.

The Inside Edition coverage of the story was viewed over 6 million times on YouTube. Commenters from all over the globe chimed in to share how much the story meant to them.

"Imagine your dad's last day on earth last ever wish was to make his son happy, im never taking my dad for granted ever again"

"You can tell he’s a very sweet appreciative kid. Mom and Dad did a good job raising him."

"Imagine your dads dying wish to be for you to have the one thing you couldn’t have when he was here"

"He had the most caring father, dedicating his last wish to his son. What an amazing person."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Joe's gesture may have done more than just cheer up his son. Research shows that pets can be a big help for kids who are grieving.

"Pets can help improve mood," said Gina McDowell, a licensed professional clinical counselor and behavioral health clinical educator at the Big Lots Behavioral Health Pavilion at Nationwide Children's Hospital in Columbus, Ohio, in a Huffington Post article.

"Playing with pets often creates positive emotions that can last throughout the day and may even help manage symptoms of anxiety and depression," she continued.

It has to be terribly frustrating to be suffering from a terminal disease knowing you'll be unable to comfort your children when you're gone. But Joe did one of the most beautiful things imaginable by fulfilling one of his son's dreams while also giving him a way to cope in a time of need.

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles
pets
FatherhoodFamily
Internet

Woman explains 'quantum immortality' theory that says we never die and minds are blown

Forget the Matrix. This theory is next level.

Photo credit: Canva

What happens when we die?

Might we never really pass on into nothingness? Has the world ended many times before? Are we, in fact, doomed to spend eternity unknowingly jumping from one dimension to the next? According to one TikTok theory, the answer is yes. And it's blowing millions of minds worldwide.

Joli Moli (@joli.artist) is quite used to spooking and perplexing viewers with conspiracy theories and alternative hot takes. In her video titled "Apocalypse...again," Joli introduced the concept of Hugh Everett's quantum immortality. Fans of the Marvel "multiverse" are pretty familiar with this concept, where instead of experiencing death, "your consciousness just gets transferred to a parallel universe where you survived," the TikTokker explained.

@joli.artist

#mandelaeffect #apocalypse #atworldsend #quantumphysics #quantumimmortality #ChimeHasYourBack #manyworlds

Joli admits that this might burst the bubbles of those seeking the "sweet relief" of a widespread apocalypse. "If the quantum immortality theory is correct," she deduced, "you're just going to wake up in a parallel universe with no memory of the fact that you just survived an apocalyptic event."

According to Joli, the only sort of clue or hint you'd get that you might have woken up in a parallel world would be "new Mandela effects." You know, the strange phenomenon where all of a sudden there are two completely opposing memories of historical events? Yeah, quantum theory says that if you remember Curious George having a tail, you probably died in another universe.

curious george, quantum theory, quantum immortality, death, parallel universe Did Curious George have a tail? Giphy

Driving her point home, Joli added: "What I'm basically implying here is that in our reality, apocalypses happen every day … after the inevitable apocalypse occurs, you're going to wake up the next day in a new reality, and the next thing you know, you're going to find yourself on Reddit talking about 'since when did Pizza Hut have two Ts?!' Arguing with people who are natives of this new reality, talking about 'it's always had two Ts'."

I, for one, would never want to live in a Pizza Hut universe. Blech.

Still not sold on the theory? Joli has further arguments: "You don't believe me? Okay, it's been about 65 million years since the asteroids allegedly took out the dinosaurs. ... So you mean to tell me that in the last 65 million years, no other asteroids have come through the neighborhood, taken us out? You think we're just that lucky, huh? No other super volcanic events in 65 million years? We're just out there in space, just dodging asteroids by luck, right? Earth doesn't have a steering wheel."

Hmmm. That's a good point.

earth, space, asteroids, planet, universe "Earth doesn't have a steering wheel."Photo credit: Canva

Joli concluded with the upbeat sentiment that "Earth is probably always being taken out, and our consciousness just keeps getting transferred to another parallel universe, and another one, and another one. For all you know, the apocalypse maybe already happened last night…"

So far, in this reality anyway, the video has 4.9 million views. And—as to be expected—the video left many feeling uneasy.

One user commented, "Ok, I'm actually kind of freaking out right now coz I'm not the conspiracy typa guy, but you're like eerily making sense."

A few resorted to sarcasm as a defense mechanism (understandably), like this Twitterer: "Thanks, I was overdue for another existential crisis."

The discourse got so intense that people were reporting physical side effects from the stress. One person wrote: "The thought of never being able actually to die is extremely depressing, and it's giving me a headache."

Another added, "Bruh, I'm just done with this anxiety. My body [is] emotionally [and] physically TIREDDD."

One commenter, who had their priorities straight, wrote: "You're over here talking about extinction-level events and I'm having to check on the two Ts in Pizza Hut."

pizza hut, pizza hutt, wayne's world, parallel universe, pizza Pizza Hut. One "t." Giphy

It wasn't all gloom and doom, though. According to Indy100, some saw the potential of eternal life as a comfort against the loss of loved ones, while others finally got to make sense of their "world-ending" dreams.

If you have watched the original TikTok and have burning questions, Joli has posted a follow-up Q&A video. A small disclaimer: You might be left with even more questions.

Though we may never really know what awaits us on the other side, it is interesting to think that we might live in a multiverse with infinite second chances. And whether or not this theory floats your metaphysical boat, it's fun to contemplate one of life's biggest mysteries.

This article originally appeared four years ago.

From Your Site Articles
existential questions
InternetPop Culture
Wellness

Hospice nurse reveals the exact time most people die and the reasons why are fascinating

It's called the "letting go hour"

Canva Photos

There is a three hour window of time when most dying people pass away.

Death is hard to think about and harder still to talk about. Some people get panic attacks just imagining the inevitable end of their life. It's an extremely uncomfortable and inescapable fact of living. For some people, learning as much as they can about what it's like and how it works is the one thing that brings them a little bit of comfort.

That's where Julie McFadden comes in. McFadden has been working as a hospice nurse for nine years. She has been educating people about the dying process on social media for almost as long, racking up millions of views with her gentle, reassuring, and highly informative FAQs.

In a recent video, Hospice Nurse Julie tackles a big, scary question: What time do people usually die? And can we actually predict someone's time of death?

"When is the most common time to die? I think you might be surprised what research says," she begins the video.

McFadden says even she was surprised when she started digging into the data and research. She noted that in her own work, she hasn't really seen a trend, but after poring through studies and speaking to colleagues throughout the hospice industry, she was taken aback to discover there was a clear answer to her question.

"Research and anecdotal evidence... it does show that most people die between 2 a.m. and 5 a.m.," she says. She explains that some professionals refer to this window as the "letting go hour."

Other studies and experts have a slightly different take, citing the most common time as 6 a.m.—8 a.m., or even peaking at 11 a.m. But the truth remains that there is a definitive pattern of a high percentage of people passing away in the wee hours of the morning or middle of the night.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"So, why does that happen? That's where my brain went. And to me, the reason why is the most fascinating part," she explains.

There are a few different factors, McFadden says, that explain such a narrow death window. The first relates to the normal cycle of our body's energy and alertness.

"Biologically, we have a circadian rhythm... And between the hours of two and five, that is when our body's energy level is the lowest. Our temperatures drop, our blood pressure drops, and our breathing slows."

She mentions that those late night/early morning hours are also typically very quiet, without a lot of interruption and stimulation that might unwittingly keep a patient engaged with the outside world. "There's less people kind of trying to hold you there."

The dying person's personality also plays a role. McFadden says she sees over and over that some patients will wait until the entire family arrives before they "let go," while others will wait until things are quiet and they're alone. More outgoing people may wait to be surrounded before they pass, while introverts may prefer to pass in solitude. For the folks who prefer peace and quiet, those nighttime hours make a lot of sense.

death, dying, death doula, hospice, hospice nurse, mortality, aging, seniors, love, family, fear, afterlife Learning about death is uncomfortable, but it helps us in the long run. Photo by Sijmen van Hooff on Unsplash

McFadden then shared a pretty wild story of a patient of hers who "chose" when to die. Viewers then chimed in with their own.

Most people who have lost a loved one absolutely insist that dying people are aware of, and have some level of control over, when they decide to let go. You should watch McFadden's video to hear her best story, but the comments were full of even more.

"My good friend Donna was dying in hospice from a brain tumor and a week before she passed things looked pretty grave so she wasn't expected to last another 2 days. Her sister was by her side and said it's okay you can go but she opened her eyes and said no I'm not going yet I'm waiting for my birthday, I'm dying on my birthday. Her birthday was a week away and no one thought she would make it but she did. Her sister whispered in her ear 'today is your Birthday Sis you made it' and then she passed within the hour," one user shared.

"My grandmother was actively dying for two weeks and held on until the wee hours of the first of the month. She was concerned about getting her social security check to help the family," said another.

"About a week before my 93 year old mom died, she adamently said a few times to me and others she was leaving the following Tuesday. At first I thought she meant she's going out... That Tuesday comes and it was clear she was probably not going to make it to end of the week. I was aware of her comments from the week before but didn't think it would happen that day. She died at 11:12 pm that night, on the day she said she was leaving. She knew."

"While not quite the same thing as 'predicted,' my mother said 'they' told her when she was going to pass away -- to the minute. 'They' being the people visiting her and promising to help her during her visioning experiences. She said they had shown her where she was going to go. She died at exactly the time her visioning-visitors had told her."

The stories shared by the hundreds in the comments to McFadden's video are heart-wrenching, but ultimately extremely hopeful.

@hospicenursejulie

Replying to @skinnysketch19 the transitioning phase #hospicenursejulie #caregiversoftiktok #dementia #education #medicaltok #learnontiktok #science #STEM

McFadden doesn't want her viewers who may have a loved one who's dying to be more anxious and nervous during the night, worrying and potentially losing sleep.

"People are going to do it when they do it. Their body is going to let go when the body is ready to let go. All you can do is be there for your loved one the best you can."

She reiterates that, even for someone like her who has seen and helped many patients cross over from this world to the next, that death is a mystery. As much as we can continue to learn and understand new aspects of it, we'll never fully know what it's like until we experience it ourselves.

This article originally appeared in June.

From Your Site Articles
death
WellnessHealth
Trending Stories