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Can you tell someone will die months before it happens? A hospice nurse shares clues.

Even 6 months ahead of time, there are signs.

Photo credit: Canva

Is it possible to know someone is going to die soon?

Death is a mystery in so many ways, despite the fact that we all know for sure it's going to happen. We don’t know when we will go and can't really be sure of what comes next, so whether we’re thinking about ourselves or a loved one, there’s understandably a lot of fear and uncertainty around death.

That’s why Julie McFadden's work is so important. As a palliative care nurse in the Los Angeles area, who has seen over a hundred people die, her videos shed light on the process to make us all a bit more comfortable with the inevitable. McFadden is also the author of the bestseller, “Nothing to Fear.” The nurse’s experience helping people in their final stages has given her a unique perspective on the process.

In one video, she shared how she can see the first symptoms that someone is going to die a natural death about 6 months before they finally do. In other words, she can determine that someone only has half a year left to live when most of us have no idea they have entered the final stages of life.

@hospicenursejulie

Replying to @Mariah educating yourself about scary topics will help decrease fear. ✨Nothing to Fear ✨- my book- out june 11th #hospicenursejulie #hospicenurse #caregiversoftiktok #medicaltiktok #learnontiktok #nothingtofearbook

What are the signs a person is dying at the 6-month mark?

McFadden says that people who are dying are usually placed in hospice care when the symptoms begin to appear around the 6-month mark.

"You will have very generalized symptoms. Those symptoms will usually be, one, you will be less social. So you'll be more introverted than extroverted," McFadden said. "Two, you will be sleeping a lot more. And three, you will be eating and drinking a lot less. Literally, everyone on hospice, I see this happen to."

death, dying, afterlife, hospice, signs of dying What happens when we die is one of life's great mysteries.via PIxbay/Pexels

What are the signs a person is dying at the 3-month mark?

You are going to notice more debility,” McFadden continues. “They will be staying in their house most of the time. It's going to be difficult getting up and just going to the bathroom. Again, sleeping a lot more and eating and drinking a lot less.”

What are the signs a person is dying at the 1-month mark?

Something usually begins to happen in the final month of someone’s life. They start to believe they are in contact with others they have lost. It’s like they are there to make the dying person feel comfortable with their final transition.

"Usually around the one month mark is when people will start seeing 'the unseen', they have the visioning. They'll be seeing dead relatives, dead loved ones, dead pets, old friends who have died,” McFadden said. “Again, not everyone — but many, many people will start seeing these things at around one month."

death, dying, afterlife, hospice, signs of dying Many people start to talk to people and pets who have passed when they're approaching the end of life.via PixaBay/Pexels

Angela Morrow, a registered nurse at Verywell Health, agrees that people in the final stage of life often hear from those who have passed before them. Morrow says we should refrain from correcting the patients when they share their stories of talking to people and pets who have died. "You might feel frustrated because you can't know for sure whether they're hallucinating, having a spiritual experience, or just getting confused. The uncertainty can be unsettling, but it's part of the process," Morrow writes.

At the end of the video, McFadden says that the most important factors palliative care nurses look at to determine the stage of death are eating, drinking and sleeping. “Most people, a few weeks out from death, will be sleeping more than they are awake. And they will be barely eating and barely drinking,” McFadden said.

death, dying, afterlife, hospice, signs of dying Hospice workers deal with death more than most of us do. i.giphy.com

In the end, hospice nurses “allow the body to be the guide” as they help their patients transition from life to death.

McFadden’s work has brought a lot of peace to her followers as they go through trying times. "My mom is in hospice right now and she’s currently, I think, hours or days from death. YourTikToks have helped me out tremendously," Deb wrote. "My grandma passed away in February, and she experienced all of this. this page brings me peace knowing everything she went through was natural," Jaida added.

"Thanks, Julie. I volunteer in a hospice end-of-life facility, and this helps educate the families. Your posts are wonderful," Grandma Nita wrote.

One of the things that makes death so scary is the number of unknowns surrounding the process, so it's important that McFadden shares her stories of helping people to the next side. She shows that death is a natural process and that hospice nurses are here to help make the transition as peaceful as possible.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Friendship

A hospice volunteer has a fascinating new take on people's most common deathbed regret

"Grab a hold of them and don't ever let them go."

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

Friends watch a sunset together.

Until the time comes, (and it will come) we can't possibly know how we will feel in our final moments on this Earth. What will run through our minds? Who will run through our minds? Will there be enough dopamine to make it all make sense, or will we be filled with 'what ifs?'

Over the years, many hospital and hospice workers have paid close attention to what people who are on their deathbeds say. What they're most proud of, and yes, what are their main regrets.

The lens through which these caregivers can often see is wiped clear by vulnerability, and what they relay to us could alter the very courses of our lives, if we take heed.

In an online series called 365 Lessons from Strangers, host David Eng interviews people on the street whom he doesn't know for life lessons. In a recent one (life lesson 228), he meets a woman named Kassi who shares a beautiful sentiment.

She is asked, "How can we all live more happily?" and responds, "I've always been struck by the fact that we don't really value platonic relationships in society, the way that we should. I read this wonderful article. It was a person who worked as a hospice nurse, and they asked many, many people who were dying their top regrets in life. And when she averaged it out, the number one regret that people have on their deathbeds is not spending more time with their friends."

Though she didn't name the author, she might be referring to Jancee Dunn's New York Times article, "3 Lessons for Living Well, from the Dying." In it, she discusses her friend who is a hospice volunteer. "She hears one regret over and over from patients: letting relationships wither. They wish that they had made more plans with good friends, or they thought about getting back in touch with an old buddy, and talked themselves out of it."

Kassi continues, "Not that romantic or familial relationships aren't important. But in good times or bad, it's your friends that you want around you."

She makes the distinction between obligatory love (or love that might be perceived that way) and chosen love. "You've got to have somebody that you know loves you. And that doesn’t have any reason to be with you other than that they love you. I think in romantic relationships, there's always that fear that they're with you for sexual reasons or whatever. And that they don't really love and care about you.

But the friend who has no ulterior motives? Who you always know has your best interest at heart. And you can trust that they love you. The rule of thumb is everybody should treat you with respect. There's no reason for anybody to disrespect you. And anybody who really loves you will always treat you with respect. When you find a person who's a good friend, who treats you with respect and loves you for who you are, grab a hold of them and don't ever let them go."

She concludes with a simple, yet lovely thought. "We're here to love and be loved. And to touch others and to be touched by other people. Everything else is secondary. Life is beautiful and it offers a lot of beautiful experiences: nice food, great music. But none of that offers anything near the people that you love and who love you. That's the most important thing. And that's what we're here for."

friendship, love, plutonic love, life lessons three women walking on brown wooden dock. Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

The comments under her clip are touching. One wrote, "My mother always told me, 'Your friends will get you through life.'"

Another notes, "Platonic relationships are often the unsung heroes of emotional life. Deeply valuable, often more stable than romantic ones and chosen more freely than familial ones."

Many others took the moment to tag their friends in the thread and tell them they loved them.

One commenter mentions author Bronnie Ware who wrote the bestseller The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing. They share the list, one which also includes keeping in touch with friends:


"I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
I wish I had let myself be happier."

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Woman praises Target for taking responsibility after a pet toy killed her cat

"They don’t know if no one speaks up.”

via Shein and Mike Mozart/Flickr

A cat toy and Target location.

A recent tragedy shared by Mazie Kayee on TikTok shows that good can come out of a terrible situation when people take responsibility and practice forgiveness. It all began when Kayee gave her cat, Blue, a new toy for Easter—a Fish Trio Wand cat toy that cost her under $5. The toy features a stick, resembling a fishing rod, that has fake fish dangling from it for the cat to paw at.

On the morning of Thursday, June 26, 2025, the can began throwing up and continued to vomit into the evening. The vomit was brown and had a wretched odor. After taking the cat to the vet, Kayee learned that the tassels attached to the fish had become stuck in the cat’s digestive tract. “Here was a bunch [of tassles] in his stomach and then some little strings had made their way down further, and actually somehow wrapped his intestines from the inside,” she said in a video posted to TikTok. The entanglement led to Blue developing sepsis.

Blue’s tragic final days

The vet planned to perform surgery on Blue to remove the blockage, but unfortunately, the cat died before they were able to start. “I feel like I failed as a fur parent,” she said. “This is something I didn’t read reviews on because it was a $4 toy.”

@mazie.kayee

Replying to @andie🦇 TikTok removed the last one already so part 2. #catsoftiktok #cats #cattoys #target #bootsandbarkley #sedgwick #insurance #catloss

Target takes responsibility

After the tragic death of Blue, Kayee contacted Target’s corporate office to notify them that her cat died because of their pet toy. The administrator directed her to contact Target’s insurance company as well. The great news—in the heart of a terrible situation—was that Target was entirely open to taking responsibility by fixing the problem so more cats aren't hurt by the toy.

“Target said they’re going to redesign the toy. They're going to completely redesign it,” she shared in a follow-up video. “After hearing my story and then reading the reviews, they just said ‘no more.’ Like, it's being resent to the design team. And I'm going to hear from their insurance company about some other things."

@mazie.kayee

UPDATE!! #catsoftiktok #cat #cats #target #cattoys #bootsandbarkley #catloss #fyp #trending

Further, Target’s insurance company said that it will compensate Kayee for her loss. “The insurance company has sent a letter to the manufacturer stating that they are legally obligated to give us compensation,” she told The Daily Dot. “The lady I talked to through Target said she greatly appreciated me reaching out because they don’t know if no one speaks up.”

The story of Kayee and Target is an excellent example of the good that can happen in the wake of tragedy. Target could have ignored the issue or simply refused to talk to Kayee about her cat’s death, but instead, they took her complaint seriously. Not only will they remove the dangerous item from their shelves, but they will also compensate Kayee for her loss. Kayee also demonstrated a wonderful sense of humility by practicing forgiveness and praising Target and its insurance company for their responsible actions. Kayee should also be commended for reporting her loss to Target, so no more cats are hurt by the toy.

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Poet Andrea Gibson reads 'Love Letter From the Afterlife' to fiancée just months before dying

"Dying is the opposite of leaving."

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A photo of poet Andrea Gibson.

For Andrea Gibson, life was a poem—a beautifully complex spectrum of gender, time, and life itself. Gibson (who used they/them pronouns) was a poet, an activist, a filmmaker, a friend—but most of all—an inspiration to anyone on this planet who dares to push back against the societal constructs which are woven into us at such an early age.

Comedian Tig Notaro sat down with them for Interview Magazine in which Gibson shone through as being equally thoughtful and hilarious. After describing themselves as "gender queer," they elaborated: "It just means that I don’t necessarily identify within a gender binary. I’ve never in my life really felt like a woman and I’ve certainly never felt like a man. I look at gender on a spectrum and I feel somewhere on that spectrum that’s not landing on either side of that."

Their work encouraged many, and in 2023, Colorado Governor Jared Polis awarded Gibson Colorado's Poet Laureate. That same year, Gibson shared the poem inspired by their grandmother, Love Letter from the Afterlife, which they had written to comfort those who were grieving. To try to find a semblance of beauty in the pain of loss and to reassure all of us facing mortality that there is… more.

For the past four years, Gibson has battled ovarian cancer, and much of that fight was captured in the upcoming documentary (co-produced by Notaro) Come See Me in the Good Light. Heartbreakingly, Gibson lost the battle just this week. Exemplifying the love that surrounded them, their death announcement read in part: “Andrea Gibson died in their home (in Boulder, Colorado) surrounded by their wife, Meg, four ex-girlfriends, their mother and father, dozens of friends, and their three beloved dogs.”

But Gibson, ever the romantic, wanted their beloved Megan Falley, to personally and intimately receive the words of the poem. And in a final television interview—just months before they passed—Gibson read it to her.

Andrea Gibson reads their poem. www.youtube.com

“My love, I was so wrong. Dying is the opposite of leaving. When I left my body, I did not go away. That portal of light was not a portal to elsewhere, but a portal to here. I am more here than I ever was before. I am more with you than I ever could have imagined. So close you look past me when wondering where I am.
It’s OK. I know that to be human is to be farsighted. But feel me now, walking the chambers of your heart, pressing my palms to the soft walls of your living. Why did no one tell us that to die is to be reincarnated in those we love while they are still alive? Ask me the altitude of heaven, and I will answer, “How tall are you?” In my back pocket is a love note with every word you wish you’d said. At night I sit ecstatic at the loom weaving forgiveness into our worldly regrets. All day I listen to the radio of your memories.
Yes, I know every secret you thought too dark to tell me, and love you more for everything you feared might make me love you less. When you cry, I guide your tears toward the garden of kisses I once planted on your cheek, so you know they are all perennials. Forgive me, for not being able to weep with you. One day you will understand. One day you will know why I read the poetry of your grief to those waiting to be born, and they are all the more excited.
There is nothing I want for now that we are so close I open the curtain of your eyelids with my own smile every morning. I wish you could see the beauty your spirit is right now making of your pain, your deep-seated fears playing musical chairs, laughing about how real they are not. My love, I want to sing it through the rafters of your bones, Dying is the opposite of leaving. I want to echo it through the corridor of your temples, I am more with you than I ever was before.
Do you understand? It was me who beckoned the stranger who caught you in her arms when you forgot not to order for two at the coffee shop. It was me who was up all night gathering sunflowers into your chest the last day you feared you would never again wake up feeling lighthearted. I know it’s hard to believe, but I promise it’s the truth. I promise one day you will say it too— I can’t believe I ever thought I could lose you.”

The comment section on YouTube reflects some of the better parts of humanity, which Gibson no doubt inspired. One person writes, "I see the news that someone I never met in person has died, and it knocks the breath out of me and leaves me weeping. Your light, your depth, your words have touched my soul. Your poetry has been the portal to a connection to you that makes our never having met in person meaningless. I love you, Andrea. Thank you for everything."

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