upworthy

friendship

Image via Canva

People who made friends as adults share how they did it.

Making friends as an adult is one of the most difficult parts of growing up. Having a healthy social life outside of work, marriage and family commitments can not only be a challenge, but one hard to even find.

In an online forum, member Spirited-Falcon-5102 posed the question to fellow adults trying to make friends: "How did you become friends with the friends you made as an adult?"

And people who have successfully made friends as adults spilled their experience to help others struggling. These are 19 real-life examples of how adults made friends as adults.

"A few through work, but almost all through hobbies." bossoline

"You have to go to a place where you can see potential friend candidates REGULARLY. Then strike up regular conversations with people there. Learn their names and their stories. Bring what I like to call PIE: Positivity, Interest in others and ENTHUSIASM. After you develop a rapport, invite them to do something with you OUTSIDE THE PLACE WHERE YOU KNOW THEM. That's how friendships begin." FL-Irish

"I’m made good acquaintances at bars, but we mostly stick to that environment. Volunteer work, on the other hand, has lead to some really solid friendships. Even though I’ve moved to a different state, I’m still in touch with many people I met because we valued the same cause and found other things in common." Emtreidy

"I wrote on a local facebook page for my area. 'Looking for a gym partner 4 days/week at nordic wellness. It's always easier to keep routine with friends right' A married woman about me age responded. I'm married too, 1 month later we are best friends tbh and they are coming over for dinner at our place." Accomplished_Tart832

"I wanted to have female friends that lived close to me because proximity is very important to me when it comes to friendship so I went on the nextdoor app in 2022 and I posted to my specific subdivision. I kept hosting things like bonfires, potluck taco Tuesday, morning walking groups, clothing swaps, dressed up brunches. Just whatever. Here we are in 2025 and we're still doing this. Some of the other women are hosting stuff now too- so it's not just me. The youngest in our group is 23 and the oldest is 61. And I would say at least three of the women in the group are actual friends now. As in, we hang out one-on-one sometimes and text each other regularly." blabber_jabber

"I bought a trailer in an RV park and I have made friends there. I also winter in Mexico , stay at the same place every year and I have made friends there. I’m am a 65 year old single woman." Landingonmyfeet

"Bumble BFF!" Mistress0fScience

"Join clubs. But not just any clubs. Join a club that has different levels of skill, where beginners will be thrown into one class. I joined a Krav Maga club in April and now I have a solid social circle, two of them I would already consider good friends, not 'just' friends. The other beginners didn't know too many people either, which made it quite easy to connect to them. But this didn't just happen. I went out of my way to get to know people. I introduced myself to everyone, which was weird at first, but less so later. I make sure to either pick up a topic we've been talking about last time or ask them how they're doing when I see them. Since then, for whatever reason, I also got to know other people. Mostly by joining other events. I volunteer at a sanctuary, but this is not as productive from a social networking standpoint. Clubs. That's where it's at. Make sure to be likeable though. Being shy and competent can easily look like arrogance. I know, it's weird, but that's what it can feel like from the outside." lookingforPatchie

"I started a family hiking group in the area about 10 years ago. At one point, my entire social network was made up of those families!" anniemaxine

"Work, local coffee shop, dog park, hobbies." Ok-Kick4060

"Oh, so so many. Quilting circles, crochet, cross stitch, book clubs, DnD, LARPing, community theater, church choir, fencing, board game groups, marathon conditioning groups, yoga, meditation, street racing, motorcycle gangs (not that I'm recommending those), cycling groups...Really just all sports. You wanna make friends fast? Go to the park with a basketball and see how many dudes in their 20s and 30s flock to you." Gamma_The_Guardian

"Through animal-related hobbies. Dogs, horses, cats… and politics." Difficult-Second3519

"I make new friends seemingly every few months. I just talk to people, am interested in them and I'm generous when I can be. There's no real common thread. Some are people I meet walking my neighborhood, others while I'm out in the world doing whatever." NemeanMiniLion

"They are the parents of my kids’ friends. We sat on the parent-bench for swim lessons or music class or whatever and chatted and became friends." North_Artichoke_6721

"Completely accidentally. Most because they were stubborn enough to persist 🤣." PuzzleheadedCat9986

"Bible studies!" Dede_dawn311

"We were both putting other people's carts back in the corral. We started talking about how lazy people are." SgtRudy0311Ret

"Oddly and humorously enough, my friends are a lot of relationships or fwbs that didn't work out in that way but we remained friends." Dapper-Lie-446

"Just last night I met up with someone I was chatting on Reddit with for a couple of days. We are both relatively new to our town. Exchanged numbers and it hit off. Met at a bar thought I’d be there for an hour maybe 90 minutes. Ended up spending 3 hours with him." AggressivePatience56

Community

People over 100 share their simple secrets to living the best life

"Life goes on. So get on and do the things you love to do."

Canva

Elderly hands hold flowers. Two older people sit on a bench.

There has always been something really fascinating about resilience. Some people simply embody it, no matter their age, and remind us that you're never too old to keep living a good life.

Just recently, a 100-year-old woman named Layne Horwich was diagnosed with breast cancer. One year later, at 101–she had beaten it. Not only did she survive the cancer, but she recently passed her driving test, according to a story on NBC 5 News Chicago. When asked how she has stayed so relatively healthy, she answered, "I did play tennis until I was 92, and I think that was good."

People who have lived to be 100 may have less time than many of us, but what they have is perspective. And, if they're lucky, that perspective can be churned into wisdom like cream into butter.

Business Insider, via their YouTube page, posted a video entitled "Life Lessons From 100-Year-Old Americans Who Didn't Expect To Live So Long." Here, they interview five centenarians to get their thoughts and wisdom on love, health, technology and, most importantly, how to live a happy life.

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

Barbara (101), Diane (102), Jack (101), Helen (107) and Margaret (102) get mic'd up and sit down to talk about their experience of living on this Earth for over a century. They have all lived from the Great Depression through the pandemic, and every one of those nearly one million hours tells its own story. They initially discuss their backgrounds, goals, how they met their spouses, and the lens with which they can now see the history they lived through.

They are asked questions on a variety of topics, and none of their answers disappoint.

 

ON LOVE

Barbara closes her eyes and says with such sincerity, "It's so important to feel love. I won't say it makes the world go round, but it's very helpful."

And you know the old wives' tale that opposites attract? Margaret and Barbara disagree with that idea. Cutting back and forth between them, Margaret says "A like-mindedness is the formation of a solid marriage. And that is love." Barbara adds, "You agree, you're on the same page, and you want to live your life together."

 

ON MORTALITY

Jack so beautifully and vulnerably tells us as he exits his home and takes a drive, "The most challenging thing about being 100 is at some times, time hangs heavy on your hands. I don't have any of my good friends who are still alive. They are all gone. My wife passed away 20 years ago this year. Much too early. She should be here with me, sitting right here, right now."

He later proclaims, "I am the last man standing. It's not easy at all. If I sat around and grieved all day long, that would be very difficult to take. I know that life goes on and that's the only answer I can give you. Life goes on. So get on and do the things that you love to do."

Helen also feels deep losses around her. She tells us she has lost her two sons, one just a few weeks prior at the age of 82. "I'm just shocked that I would still be here and they're gone. At my age, I think every step you take is challenging. I feel that I'm on borrowed time."

Both Margaret and Barbara reflect on the years with their husbands. Barbara confesses how hard life can seem without him. "It's very tough at this stage of the game to be alone, be vulnerable and be dependent."

 

ON TECHNOLOGY

 older person, computer, technology, learning, 100 Older man sitting at the computer.   commons.wikimedia.org  

When they're asked "What has changed the most in 100 years?" they name the Internet and cell phones for starters.

Helen adorably asks the producer, "Is it true you're on YouTube?" She then admits, "I see all these young people walking down the street holding phones. Everyone has got one but me."

The overall vibe is they don't love the seemingly modern obsession with technology. Jack quips, "Amazing how much garbage gets on your computer." However, they don't totally dismiss it. Jack continues, "It used to be that if you wanted the answer to something, you'd have to go to the library and do a great deal of research. Today, with a snap of your fingers, the Internet has the answer for you. Done!"

Margaret says she often uses her computer. "I think technology, if used properly, has definitely made a huge difference. The ability to reach out to one another. Getting emails, sending emails."

 

ON HEALTH

 elderly people, exercise, aerobics, health, 100 Older people taking an aerobics class.  commons.wikimedia.org  

When asked, "What helped you live to 100?" they all have slight variations on one theme: Exercise.

Jack also shares, "I've never smoked. I've never drunk to excess." And later, he says, "I don't eat meat to excess," though he does admit to enjoying chicken. (Helen adds to this that one should eat properly from a very young age.)

Diane (who was once a dancer) suggests "one hour a day of strenuous exercise. A real workout that will keep you going and keep you alive."

Margaret has a less intense idea of exercising. "Walk, walk, walk," she insists.

 

ON BEING HAPPY

Jack determines, "Don't let the old man in. I refuse to think old. If you think young, more than likely you're going to act young."

Margaret suggests keeping activities on your calendar. "There's always something on my plate that I look forward to doing. And I think that's important for people. To look forward to what you can do today, that makes a difference."

Barbara stresses the importance of friendships. "I have many friends who help me enjoy life from all different generations. 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s. And that's what makes life so interesting."

When asked directly, "So what's the secret for a long, happy life?"

 elderly man, laughing, happiness, health, old age An elderly man laughs.  pxhere.com  

Diane answers, "I think it's just love of life. It's a devotion to my family, to the ones I love. The thing that I've really learned is not to be so self-centered."

Jack gives this tip: "If you don't complain, you don't make life difficult for everyone around you. You'll get along in life." He then added, "You can't get anywhere in life until you start doing things for other people."

Barbara: "You want to be attached to things that are positive and good in life." She also echoes the idea that, "Giving is a real joy."

We see Helen visiting her church, as she shares this thought - "I think if you're nice to people, it comes back to you."

Positive thinking overall is the key. Jack ends the segment with this: "I don't feel like my days are numbered. I feel that I have good years in front of me yet."

Canva

Rue McClanahan at a book signing. Brightly colored 80s telephones.

If you had a television in the mid-80s, it's quite possible you would have at least heard of the NBC sitcom The Golden Girls. Created by Susan Harris, it wasn't only a huge ratings hit with audiences, but a darling for critics as well, winning Golden Globes and Emmys, including one for each of its leading actresses.

The show was ahead of its time and truly spoke to women entering their "third act" of life. The premise? Four women share a Miami home while navigating life after 50 and learning that friendship is a beacon of light when facing any kind of adversity.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com, NBC, The Golden Girls

Those women—Dorothy, Rose, Sophia, and Blanche—were played brilliantly by Bea Arthur, Betty White, Estelle Getty, and Rue McClanahan, respectively.

In 1988, McClanahan went on Larry King Live to promote The Golden Girls and also her work with Purina's Pets for People program, which Rue explains is an "adoption program that Purina has helped set up for citizens over 60 years old."

-Rue McClanahan on Larry King Live in 1988www.youtube.com, Larry King Live, CNN

Appearing via satellite in a bright green patterned blazer, she and Larry King discuss the show, of course. Larry asks, "When that idea was presented to you—when they did the pilot—did you think it would be a winner?" McClanahan answers emphatically, "Yes, I did! In fact, even before I opened it. When I saw the title, The Golden Girls, I said, Uh-oh, I wanna be a part of this."

They also discuss that the audience for the show wasn't just senior citizens. McClanahan, in fact, shares, "Most of the fan mail I get is from teens." Which is what made what happened just a few minutes later all the more hilarious and outrageous.

King opens up the phone lines for callers to ask questions, which a few respectfully did. Then, a younger voice appears on the line from Lansing, Michigan, sounding possibly like he might be in middle school. He then asks a question not meant for primetime. Possibly, on a dare, he inquires, "Um, I'd like to know, when was the first 'F' you've ever had?" It's jarring for sure. But leave it to McClanahan, perhaps channeling her inner Blanche, to laugh with pure glee.

This video contains language that might not be suitable for a younger audience.

From @thegoldengirls.4 life via @thetotally80sroom Instagram page:

While King seems understandably uncomfortable (as did perhaps so many of us) McClanahan sees the absurdity, maybe even remembering what prank-calling was all about for tweens and teens. She exclaims, "That was a pornographic phone call…isn't that fun?" Her shoulders shake with laughter.

King tries to cover, though he too is now laughing. "Maybe he meant job? Where was your first paid job?"

The comment section is alive with reactions, with a top commenter pointing out, "Her reaction is so Blanche," and another with a similar sentiment: "He asked #BlancheDevereaux a legitimate question…am I right or am I right?"

Another, seemingly a fan of the show, writes, "That call sounded like Betty." (Referring, of course, to the late Betty White, who was a notorious prankster.)

Betty White, The Golden Girls, prankster, silliness, gifBetty White dances joyously.Giphy, Golden Girls Dancing GIF by TV Land

This commenter claims, "…and that was when the FCC instituted the seven-second delay on LIVE TV, LOL."

Another adds that this kind of thing wasn't just common in the U.S. "Used to get these kinds of calls all the time in the UK on Saturday morning kids' shows."

The overall consensus was that McClanahan handled it like a champ. "This is why they are all beloved forever," reads another comment. One goes a step further by romanticizing the decade, in general: "The 80's Were A Magical Era Of Our Lives."


Canva

Small everyday actions can make the world a better place.

Acts of kindness—we know they’re important not only for others, but for ourselves. They can contribute to a more positive community and help us feel more connected, happier even. But in our incessantly busy and hectic lives, performing good deeds can feel like an unattainable goal. Or perhaps we equate generosity with monetary contribution, which can feel like an impossible task depending on a person’s financial situation.

Have you ever felt guilty because you don't spend enough time volunteering? Or maybe because you can't or don't give much money to charity? It's not a good feeling, and you can sometimes feel stuck not knowing what to do about it. But being kind and generous to others doesn't have to be hard, or take much time, or cost anything at all.

One social media user recently posed the question: “what’s a small act of kindness that literally anyone can do/practice everyday?” and people gave some brilliantly simple ideas.

Here are eight easy-to-accomplish crowdsourced answers that might bring us one step closer to a more peaceful world:

1. Be aware of your surroundings.


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismMake space for other people around you.Giphy

Either move with the flow of traffic or get to the side if you have to situate yourself.” – @JoeMorgue

Americans, in particular, seem to get obsessed with the idea of "winning." Walk around and/or faster than the next person, or refusing to give way. It's a really kind and considerate move to make space or other people to exist comfortably.

2. Use headphones when taking public transport.


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismBe mindful of making noise in public spaces.Giphy

"If you don’t have them - you can go 20 minutes without making excessive noise while sharing a small space with other people.” – @cynthiayeo

Often there's no law or rule in place that "forces" you to do the polite thing, like minding how much noise you make on an airplane or public transport. But it's a simple thing to do that goes a long way for the people around you.

3. Give compliments.


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismGive genuine compliments often.Giphy

“If you have a charitable thought about someone, even a stranger, say it out loud to their face. It is free, it is easy, and it might be the best thing that has happened to that person all week. Nothing creepy or overtly sexual or flirty, just kind words. ‘That shirt is really your color! Your haircut is beautiful. I appreciate your help, you were a real lifesaver!’ It doesn't cost you anything and it means the world to the people you are talking to.” – @Comments_Wyoming

Everyone loves receiving genuine, no-strings-attached compliments! In fact, we often think about them all day, or even for longer. Don't withhold praise — give it freely and openly, when you really mean it.

4. Hold doors open for people.


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismHold the door for everyone.Giphy

Makes a big difference in one's day.” – @sconnie64

Holding doors isn't just for gentlemen out on a date. Hold doors for everyone equally; it's a really sweet and polite gesture.

5. Don’t act on “road rage."


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismDon't give in to the road rage.Giphy

After several years of commuting I came to the realization that with a few exceptional days, I always got home at the same time. Regardless of how many people ‘cut me off’ or drove too slowly and whatever. I started to just ‘go with the flow’ and always let people in when needed, always give extra room, and just enjoy my music/podcast. Life changing.” – @CPCOpposesAbortion

Who knows what it is about being in a car that just gets our blood boiling. Maybe it's the slight anonymity, a little like being in an internet comment section? In any case, don't indulge. If someone cuts you off, give them the benefit of the doubt and just move on. It was probably an accident anyway.

6. Have patience.


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismShow patience to others.Giphy

You never know what someone else is going through. Could be a breakup, their dog just died, granny finally made it to heaven, or maybe mom just broke the news that she's got end stage cervical cancer and has weeks left to live. You never know, so be patient. After all, wouldn't you want someone to be patient with you?” – @mamalion12

Assuming the best in people is a really good start when it comes to kindness. Most people aren't out to be difficult or rude. Give them a little grace and there's no telling how much they'll appreciate it.

7. Thank the people you live with for taking care of things around the house.


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismSay Thank You more often.Giphy

It doesn’t have to be over the top, but everyone feels better about doing chores when it is noticed and appreciated. ‘Thanks for folding my laundry’ or ‘thanks for always keeping track of our bills, you’re awesome at managing money!’” – @Mrshaydee

This goes for kids, too! When they remember to pick up after themselves, reinforce the behavior with praise. Make time to appreciate your partner and family members, too, no matter how small their contributions.

8. Leave a place you visit just a little bit nicer than when you found it.


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismLeave places a little cleaner than you found them.Giphy

Pick up a piece of litter at the park. Give that mat with a pucker ready to trip someone a little tug to get it to lay flat in the business you're at. Let an employee know when you spot a leaky dairy product on the shelves so they can deal with it. Return someone else's grocery cart.” – @BlueberryPiano

Don't be the "Someone else will deal with it," person when you can be the someone else! It doesn't take any effort at all most of the time to grab a piece of litter. And don't even get me started on returning the grocery cart — it's a basic test of human kindness that too many people fail. It's the easiest thing in the world and saves both employees and the next customer time.

See how easy it can be?! Why don't we do this stuff all the time?

Perhaps surprisingly, the main reason people don’t offer more acts of kindness is the fear of being misunderstood. That is, at least, according to The Kindness Test—an online questionnaire about being nice to others that more than 60,000 people from 144 countries completed. It does make sense—having your good intentions be viewed as an awkward source of discomfort is not exactly fun for either party. You can imagine that complimenting a stranger could easily be interpreted the wrong way, for example.

However, the results of The Kindness Test also indicated those fears were perhaps unfounded. The most common words people used were "happy," "grateful," "loved," "relieved" and "pleased" to describe their feelings after receiving kindness. Less than 1% of people said they felt embarrassed, according to the BBC.

So, maybe with kindness, we need to put our social anxieties away and act without overthinking (to a certain point, of course). Perhaps it’s best to find the simplest actions we can commit to on a daily basis, rather than formulating some grandiose gesture.

This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.