upworthy

kindness

Russian novelist Leo Tolstoy.

Leo Tolstoy was a Russian novelist known for epic works such as War and Peace and Anna Karenina. His life experiences—from witnessing war to spiritual quests—profoundly influenced his writings and gave him profound insights into the human soul. His understanding of emotions, motivations and moral dilemmas has made his work stand the test of time, and it still resonates with people today.

Julian de Medeiros, a TikToker who shares his thoughts on philosophy, recently shared how Tolstoy knew if someone was highly intelligent—and his observation says something extraordinary about humanity.

intelligence, thinking, thought process, humanity, humansAn intelligent man's thought process.Canva Photos

“The more intelligent a person is, the more he discovers kindness in others,” Tolstoy once wrote. “For nothing enriches the world more than kindness. It makes mysterious things clear, difficult things easy, and dull things cheerful.”

@julianphilosophy

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De Medeiros boiled down Tolstoy’s thoughts into a simple statement: “Intelligent people are unafraid to be kind.” He then took things a step further by noting that Tolstoy believed in the power of emotional intelligence. "To have emotional intelligence is to see the good in other people, that is what Tolstoy meant, that to be intelligent is to be kind," he added.

It seems that, according to de Medeiros, Tolstoy understood that intelligent people are kind and perceptive of the kindness in others. The intelligent person is conscious of the kindness within themselves and in the world around them.

In a 2024 opinion piece for Inc., author and speaker Jeff Hayden cites organizational psychologist Adam Grant, who says, "Generosity isn't just a sign of virtue. It's also a mark of intelligence. Data: people with high IQs have more unselfish values, give more to charity, and negotiate better deals for others. They prioritize the long-term collective good over short-term self-interest. It's smarter to be a giver than a taker."

Hayden adds on to this statement, saying, "...You can also be smart enough to be generous, thoughtful, and kind. You can be smart enough to build people up instead of tearing them down. You can be smart enough to give before you receive (or better yet, with no expectation of reciprocation.) You can be smart enough to shift the credit from yourself to others."

kindness, intelligence, humanity, human condition, be kindKids showing kindness through sharing. Canva Photos

In other words, these findings certainly line up with what Tolstoy's take on the correlation between kindness and intelligence.

Through Tolstoy's musings, de Medeiros (and Hayden and Grant) makes a point that is often overlooked when people talk about intelligence: truly smart people are as in touch with their hearts as they are with their minds.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

Canva

Small everyday actions can make the world a better place.

Acts of kindness—we know they’re important not only for others, but for ourselves. They can contribute to a more positive community and help us feel more connected, happier even. But in our incessantly busy and hectic lives, performing good deeds can feel like an unattainable goal. Or perhaps we equate generosity with monetary contribution, which can feel like an impossible task depending on a person’s financial situation.

Have you ever felt guilty because you don't spend enough time volunteering? Or maybe because you can't or don't give much money to charity? It's not a good feeling, and you can sometimes feel stuck not knowing what to do about it. But being kind and generous to others doesn't have to be hard, or take much time, or cost anything at all.

One social media user recently posed the question: “what’s a small act of kindness that literally anyone can do/practice everyday?” and people gave some brilliantly simple ideas.

Here are eight easy-to-accomplish crowdsourced answers that might bring us one step closer to a more peaceful world:

1. Be aware of your surroundings.


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismMake space for other people around you.Giphy

Either move with the flow of traffic or get to the side if you have to situate yourself.” – @JoeMorgue

Americans, in particular, seem to get obsessed with the idea of "winning." Walk around and/or faster than the next person, or refusing to give way. It's a really kind and considerate move to make space or other people to exist comfortably.

2. Use headphones when taking public transport.


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismBe mindful of making noise in public spaces.Giphy

"If you don’t have them - you can go 20 minutes without making excessive noise while sharing a small space with other people.” – @cynthiayeo

Often there's no law or rule in place that "forces" you to do the polite thing, like minding how much noise you make on an airplane or public transport. But it's a simple thing to do that goes a long way for the people around you.

3. Give compliments.


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismGive genuine compliments often.Giphy

“If you have a charitable thought about someone, even a stranger, say it out loud to their face. It is free, it is easy, and it might be the best thing that has happened to that person all week. Nothing creepy or overtly sexual or flirty, just kind words. ‘That shirt is really your color! Your haircut is beautiful. I appreciate your help, you were a real lifesaver!’ It doesn't cost you anything and it means the world to the people you are talking to.” – @Comments_Wyoming

Everyone loves receiving genuine, no-strings-attached compliments! In fact, we often think about them all day, or even for longer. Don't withhold praise — give it freely and openly, when you really mean it.

4. Hold doors open for people.


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismHold the door for everyone.Giphy

Makes a big difference in one's day.” – @sconnie64

Holding doors isn't just for gentlemen out on a date. Hold doors for everyone equally; it's a really sweet and polite gesture.

5. Don’t act on “road rage."


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismDon't give in to the road rage.Giphy

After several years of commuting I came to the realization that with a few exceptional days, I always got home at the same time. Regardless of how many people ‘cut me off’ or drove too slowly and whatever. I started to just ‘go with the flow’ and always let people in when needed, always give extra room, and just enjoy my music/podcast. Life changing.” – @CPCOpposesAbortion

Who knows what it is about being in a car that just gets our blood boiling. Maybe it's the slight anonymity, a little like being in an internet comment section? In any case, don't indulge. If someone cuts you off, give them the benefit of the doubt and just move on. It was probably an accident anyway.

6. Have patience.


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismShow patience to others.Giphy

You never know what someone else is going through. Could be a breakup, their dog just died, granny finally made it to heaven, or maybe mom just broke the news that she's got end stage cervical cancer and has weeks left to live. You never know, so be patient. After all, wouldn't you want someone to be patient with you?” – @mamalion12

Assuming the best in people is a really good start when it comes to kindness. Most people aren't out to be difficult or rude. Give them a little grace and there's no telling how much they'll appreciate it.

7. Thank the people you live with for taking care of things around the house.


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismSay Thank You more often.Giphy

It doesn’t have to be over the top, but everyone feels better about doing chores when it is noticed and appreciated. ‘Thanks for folding my laundry’ or ‘thanks for always keeping track of our bills, you’re awesome at managing money!’” – @Mrshaydee

This goes for kids, too! When they remember to pick up after themselves, reinforce the behavior with praise. Make time to appreciate your partner and family members, too, no matter how small their contributions.

8. Leave a place you visit just a little bit nicer than when you found it.


acts of kindness, kindness, humanity, charity, people, humans, culture, love, happiness, altruismLeave places a little cleaner than you found them.Giphy

Pick up a piece of litter at the park. Give that mat with a pucker ready to trip someone a little tug to get it to lay flat in the business you're at. Let an employee know when you spot a leaky dairy product on the shelves so they can deal with it. Return someone else's grocery cart.” – @BlueberryPiano

Don't be the "Someone else will deal with it," person when you can be the someone else! It doesn't take any effort at all most of the time to grab a piece of litter. And don't even get me started on returning the grocery cart — it's a basic test of human kindness that too many people fail. It's the easiest thing in the world and saves both employees and the next customer time.

See how easy it can be?! Why don't we do this stuff all the time?

Perhaps surprisingly, the main reason people don’t offer more acts of kindness is the fear of being misunderstood. That is, at least, according to The Kindness Test—an online questionnaire about being nice to others that more than 60,000 people from 144 countries completed. It does make sense—having your good intentions be viewed as an awkward source of discomfort is not exactly fun for either party. You can imagine that complimenting a stranger could easily be interpreted the wrong way, for example.

However, the results of The Kindness Test also indicated those fears were perhaps unfounded. The most common words people used were "happy," "grateful," "loved," "relieved" and "pleased" to describe their feelings after receiving kindness. Less than 1% of people said they felt embarrassed, according to the BBC.

So, maybe with kindness, we need to put our social anxieties away and act without overthinking (to a certain point, of course). Perhaps it’s best to find the simplest actions we can commit to on a daily basis, rather than formulating some grandiose gesture.

This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

Mykale Baker GoFundMe

Stranger raises $180k for student working at Burger King

It's not uncommon for high school kids to work fast food jobs after school and on the weekends. Typically, when a student works while still attending high school, they usually take days off for special occasions like homecoming, prom, athletic obligations, and graduation. One student, Mykale Baker, took time off for his high school graduation but decided to head into work while still wearing his medals and graduation stole.

The sight of a clearly recent graduate working the grill at Burger King moved Maria Mendoza, who shared a short clip expressing pride for the teen's work ethic on social media. After some prompting from people who saw the video, she created a GoFundMe to help the hard-working teen pay for college. There were a couple of problems with the plan: Mendoza didn't know the teen personally, she hadn't spoken to him, and thus she wasn't sure if he was even planning to go to college.

Burger King; high school graduation; Mykale Baker GoFundMe; GoFundMe; paying for college; college; kindness of strangersMykale Baker working after graduation.Mykale Baker GoFundMe

That didn't stop the stranger from doing what she could to make sure she helped the new graduate. Mendoza started the GoFundMe and it quickly surpassed it's $5,000 goal so she went back to Burger King a few days later to find the teen and show him how much people donated. At the time, the Georgia teen and his mother were brought to tears at the generosity; the campaign was sitting at just above $6,000 then.

Baker admitted to 11 Alive he wasn't sure what he was going to do after high school due to the lack of funds, but he was contemplating going into a trade. The story has since gone viral, which has resulted in even more donations surpassing the updated goal of $60k in just over a week. It is currently sitting at $187k with more donations pouring in by the minute.

Burger King; high school graduation; Mykale Baker GoFundMe; GoFundMe; paying for college; college; kindness of strangersMykale Baker and Maria Mendoza smilingMykale Baker GoFundMe

Mendoza writes in the fundraiser description, "While many graduates spent the night celebrating with friends and family, one young man quietly showed the world what determination looks like. Just after receiving his diploma—still proudly wearing his medals—he reported to his shift at Burger King. He didn’t do it for attention. He doesn’t even know his story went viral. But thousands of people were moved by his dedication, humility, and work ethic."

The woman attended the high school graduation to see her daughter graduate and like many others, she stopped to get a bite to eat after the ceremony, which is where she spotted Baker. Turns out that the graduate wasn't even scheduled to work. He noticed the late night rush of customers after graduation and wanted to help his work family out by hopping behind the counter to clear the influx of orders. As for how he feels about the kindness he's been shown, he's thankful.

“I just want to say thank you to my parents and all the people that see the good in me and believe in me, and donated all that money to me,” Baker tells 11 Alive.

People who donated left encouraging words and kind wishes for his future with one person writing, "Mykale, Your work ethic and grind is contagious. We are rooting for you and investing in your future. You already have a strong foundation to succeed. I hope you take this opportunity to pursue higher education in a career that will bring you joy and a generous salary. -First Generation College Grad from Fresno, California."

"Congratulations, Mykale! You’re the true inspiration of hard work and dedication. Wishing you a life filled with endless blessings," another says.

Burger King; high school graduation; Mykale Baker GoFundMe; GoFundMe; paying for college; college; kindness of strangersMykale Baker in cap and gownMykale Baker GoFundMe

"What an incredible young man! I am so proud of you and your accomplishments. Hard working and intelligent and kind. May God continue blessing you. You have a bright future ahead. The sky is the limit. Don't settle for anything less than you deserve. Congrats on graduating high school! Good luck to you young king. Your parents must be so proud. They did an outstanding job with you!" someone else shares.

One person shares advice, "I’m proud of you Mykale. There will always be needs around you … and it’s not uncommon that when people get a little money one of two things happen; first, people with needs show up, and second, people may treat you with contempt rather than celebrate with you. Just take these funds and accelerate your future. You already have the drive — just don’t let the critics pull you down at this pivotal moment. You’re going places my friend and I hope to be able to see what God does in your life."

Image via Canva

Elementary school teacher Alice Yates does hair for student who lost a parent.

Teachers play a much larger role than simply being educators. And elementary school teacher Alice Yates (@missaliceinteacherland) understands what it means to go above and beyond for her students, especially those in need.

In a new video shared on Instagram, Yates shared an emotional video about a student who recently lost a parent. After noticing she was coming to school with her hair unbrushed most days, she decided to step in with kindness and help take care of her by doing her hair everyday.

In the start of the video, Yates shows herself brushing out a little girl's hair as she tells her story in the captions. "A few months ago one of my student's parent died pretty suddenly...she was coming to school with her hair not even brushed most days," she writes. "I just wanted to help where I could. So I bought a cheap comb and hair ties so that I could at least do a basic pony for her to get her hair out of her face."


The small act of love did not go unnoticed. Her other students noticed Yates doing the student's hair, and wanted to get their hair done, too. "Then the other girls in the class started asking if I'd do their hair too. Now during breakfast, we have chitchats while we do hair! I wouldn't trade this time for anything. It has helped us all become so much closer.❤️"

She goes on to explain that she wasn't sure if parents would be okay with it, but was put at ease after getting a thankful message from one.

"I was a little nervous some parents might take it the wrong way that I'm doing their kids hair, but then I got this message: 'I just FaceTimed with [student's name] and saw her hair. It was adorable. Thank you for being extra sweet to my girl while I'm away. I don't even know what her hair looked like when she came in lol."

Yates offered more details as to why she treasures the personal interactions with her students. "I love being the teacher that I needed growing up...when I was a kid many of my teachers didn’t take the time to get to know us. They didn’t really show us love, tell us about their family, or even ask about ours," she writes. "They showed up, taught from a McGraw Hill Teacher Guide and went home. I think back on school and I hated it most years. I can count on one hand the teachers that I felt safe and happy with."

It was that experience that made her want to be a different teacher. "School filled me with so much anxiety and I think it’s a huge reason why I pour my heart and soul into teaching now," she writes. "I find so much comfort in looking into a parents eyes and telling them that I will take care of their baby, and they look back and me and know I mean it. ❤️"

Yates' emotional video got an incredibly supportive response from viewers. "And that’s a vocation right there & exactly the teacher our children need 💕," one wrote. Another shared, "This is beautiful bc when I was in 3rd grade my dad almost died in a motorcycle accident. Needless to say with no family nearby, most days I was barely dressed much less brushed. My teacher would bring barrettes to put up my hair and ill never forget the difference it made in my life ♡." And another viewer added, "They will never forget you and the time you took for them ❤️."

If you would like to contribute to Miss Alice's classroom, you can shop her Amazon Classroom Wishlist here.


This article originally appeared in March