Showing your partner that you care isn't always a walk in the park.
Congratulations, you found your dream partner! They're caring, attractive, and preternaturally good with your parents. The only problem? Finding the time—and mental energy—to show them how much you care. Living with a busy schedule is always challenging, but keeping the romance alive while also juggling work, family obligations, and personal commitments? That can feel nearly impossible. Many couples find themselves falling into predictable routines that leave little room for genuine connection: they come home exhausted, eat a quick dinner, watch television, then collapse into bed, only to repeat the cycle the next day.
Intentional relationships are the game-changer. Rather than letting precious free time slip away on autopilot, happy couples have proven that specific activities strengthen their bond while creating lasting memories together. These aren't grand romantic gestures or expensive date nights—they're consistent, meaningful ways of engaging with each other that anyone can adopt.
Relationship experts agree: successful partnerships are built on activities that promote connection, playfulness, and mutual growth. The key lies in how couples approach their shared time—with intention, kindness, and a genuine spirit of partnership.
(1) They put their phones away
As Mark Travers, a psychologist who studies couples, finds, “a couple who spends a lot of time together, but is constantly distracted by texts, emails or social media, probably isn’t as happy as a couple who spends less time together, but without their phones.” He recommends carving out one-on-one time without any technological interference: cooking dinner together, with phones out of sight; going on a tech-free hike; or a simple morning spent together where the only objects in your hands are a coffee mug and breakfast.
(2) They engage in playful or creative activities together
Playfulness and a stimulated mind are key traits in happy relationships. Instead of turning on the TV at night, happy couples often play board games or card games together, challenge each other in video games, or participate in friendly competitions like trivia nights to keep things light and fun. For more cerebral couples, finding time to engage in creative activities such as painting or even decorating the apartment can strengthen the connection.
Happy couples love to get the blood pumping! Many successful relationships find themselves outdoors: hiking, biking, gardening, or taking a simple morning walk around the neighborhood. These activities not only promote physical health, but also offer valuable opportunities for relaxed conversation and shared adventure.
Small, everyday gestures can make a world of difference—making each other coffee in the morning, leaving notes, giving a meaningful hug, or surprising your partner with a thoughtful gift at the end of a long week. These tiny actions accumulate and significantly impact relationship satisfaction. Even seemingly commonplace rituals, like a goodbye kiss before heading to work, can substantially increase happiness between couples.
(5) They schedule time for physical and emotional intimacy
When life comes at you fast, it can be easy to forgo important connections, like cuddling, massages, and sex, in a relationship. Many studies show that couples who have a satisfying sex life are more likely to be happy in their relationships, which makes structured intimacy a “good thing,” according to Travers. “Many people think it can diminish spontaneity, but if anything, it actually removes the mental fatigue of trying to make intimacy happen,” he writes.
Yes, togetherness is essential. But happy couples also recognize each other's need for solo activities, which ensures that both partners feel refreshed and fulfilled. Hanging out with friends without your partner is healthy. Going to the grocery store alone can be surprisingly beneficial. Even morning journaling to collect your thoughts and reconnect with yourself can be a meaningful practice.
Mutual social interactions reinforce a couple's bond and add spice and variety to their routine. Try planning time with mutual friends or hosting a game night together to unlock your relationship's potential.
Happy couples feel safe with one another, and that includes discussing their futures together. If you're feeling stagnant or locked into a routine, try making vision boards together or dreaming about future adventures to stay aligned and inspired by your shared journey.
Relationships evolve over time. The people we are when we first meet are not the same people we find ourselves with day in and day out. For some, this familiarity can feel overwhelming—but couples who thrive recognize that their relationship deserves the same attention and care they give to other important aspects of life. Through these small, daily actions, any couple can build a strong foundation capable of weathering any storm.
Robin Williams once beautifully said, "I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy. Because they know what it feels like to feel absolutely worthless and they don't want anybody else to feel like that."
One night at a comedy club in Los Angeles, a new, nervous stand-up comic was called to the stage by the emcee. In one hand, she casually had a beer that she propped up on the piano. In the other, was her notebook full of scribbled, half-written joke premises and a few wine stains. She did her opening joke and the response was so quiet, she could hear the ice machine crackling in the kitchen. Joke two — a slight spattering of nervous laughter. Joke three got a heartier laugh, but then it went back to deafening quiet by joke four.
She mercifully got through her final joke, and said "That's my time" long before the red light in the back of the club even went on. She scurried off stage with her beer, like that rat in New York carrying a piece of pizza. Panicked, embarrassed, and frankly — a little hungry.
It was just one of those nights. The last time she'd done this act — same words nearly exactly — she'd received an applause break. This time, she was left questioning every one of her life decisions. Why had she come to Los Angeles? How was the next month's rent supposed to get paid? Why had she cut her hair in the "Rachel-styled" haircut?
As she was about to enter the hallway that led into the bar area, she could feel actual tears forming behind her eyes, like little faucets that were slowly turning on. "Don't cry at the comedy club," she told herself. Rather, "Don't cry at the comedy club AGAIN." But as the tears came anyway, she looked up and lo and behold, there was Robin Williams. She stuttered, "You. Are. One of my favorites. Ever." He looked at her, his blue eyes warmly crinkling and said, "You were amazing."
It hadn't been true. But the fact that he would go out of his way to make this total stranger's awful night into one of her best at that time, was just the kind of person Robin was.
I know this because that woman was me.
I wanted to tell him about the Mork and Mindy poster on my wall as a kid, and how I had cut out Mindy's face and put in my third-grade class photo. I wanted to tell him how much I loved his care for animals and for the unhoused and for the less fortunate. Or that because of him, I had a weird fetish for suspenders. (The last one wasn't quite true, but I still wanted to say it.)
But instead I merely laughed and said "Oh, thank you. But I can do better." He gave me a gentle look like, "We're all in this together," and even though I knew I'd never have a career like his, it dawned on me that it didn't matter. That being kind to others actually DID matter and that he was a lighthouse in a really stormy, pitch-black ocean.
I stuck it out and just a few years later, got to perform in the super cool and coveted "New Faces" show at the Just for Laughs Montreal Comedy Fest. Didn't kill there either, but I was able to step back and look down from an aerial view. How we uplift others, whether through laughter or kindness, is really the only control we have in this world.
Years later, after Robin passed away, I had heart surgery and was feeling down. I had read that cardiac issues could leave a person biochemically depressed and the first person I thought of was him. I messaged our mutual friend from San Francisco and asked if he remembered Robin speaking to him about heart surgery and depression. He only affirmed that yes, it was a very real side effect and that I should take it seriously.
I have always thought of the neurotransmitter Serotonin like it was a flowery perfume. Notes of honey, lavender, rose. When someone has a good amount of it floating through their synapses, it leaves trace of itself wherever it goes, as if the tunnels it burrows under pumps it out through a steam grate. But from what I've heard, Robin struggled with that too. And yet he still found a way to leave a lovely and inviting scent behind him, because he wanted to make sure OTHERS were okay.
I guess, even in his death, I was looking to Robin for answers. But one puzzle remains solved: making others happy is the kindest thing we can do, even when our own valves --- whether heart or perfume pumps --- fail to work.
Even for the parents who prioritize showing up for their kids, missing a child's event now and then might be unavoidable. But certain occasions are more painful than others when a parent can’t show up, and fatherless father-daughter dances undoubtedly fall into this category.
In June 2024, six-year-old Harper was nearly put in this situation when her dad couldn’t show up to her dance studio's annual summer showcase—which normally includes a father-daughter dance—because of a work commitment.
Thankfully, her 14-year-old brother Micah is the coolest brother in the world, and stepped up to take her dad’s place so she wouldn’t miss out.
In a mega-viral video posted to Instagram by Harper and Micah’s mom, Patrice Thompson, we see the duo have a blast as they twirl in circles, fist bump, and end with an adorable lift for their “Barbie and Ken” themed routine.
“Core memory for the team today,” Thompson wrote in the caption. “I don't know if he knows what an impact he's making as her big brother, but she'll never forget this.”
Micah didn’t just have an impact on Harper. So many people left comments sharing how impressed and moved they were by his kindness.
“In a world of boys he is a gentleman,” one person wrote, referencing a Taylor Swift lyric.
Another offered a touching truth, writing, “As a man whose dad walked away from me, this makes me so emotional. You are raising your son to be the cycle breaker. He won’t end up repeating cycles of toxic masculinity like so many of the men we see today. he will be a better man. And his little sister will grow up knowing what a real man should be like, because she has her big brother to show her."
One comment commended Micah for stepping out of his comfort zone, saying, “Bless his sweet heart. I know how big that is for a 14 year old to put himself out there. Major props!”
“Watching him lift her up at the end got me i can’t lie i teared up 🥲🥲” another shared.
“As a girl who had my older brother participate in my “father-daughter” dances for drill team in high school, this made me soo emotional! 😭 this is a special moment they will remember forever,” reminisced another.
And perhaps the best (and truest) comment of them all, was this one: “Does your son know he's a legend?”
In an interview with Newsweek, Thompson shared that while she is “so proud” of her son, especially since most boys his age “would rather do anything else than perform a routine in front of their peers and during summer when he could be off with friends.” However, she is “not super surprised” that he what he did. “That's the young man he is!" she exclaimed, adding “he truly understands the meaning of being selfless."
To all the brothers who would show up for their siblings in this way—thank you. Your generosity and compassion really do help make the world a better place, and it doesn’t go unnoticed.
Here's the family all together: Mom, Dad, Micah, Harper, and the newest addition born earlier this year, baby Christian. Hopefully the new baby boy knows he won the sibling lottery.
Man sees neighbor's fence falling down so he builds a new one
It's not unheard of for people to do nice things for their neighbors. This might be borrowing a bag of rice to finish dinner or collecting the neighbor's mail while they're on vacation. All of these scenarios are within the realm of normalcy of kind, neighborly interactions but, while some neighbors may come over to assist with a weekend project, most don't take on huge projects without prompting.
A man that goes by the name Uncle Jhonn on social media has made it his mission to go above and beyond for his neighbors. That's why when he was driving through his neighborhood and noticed a neighbor's fence lying on the ground, he decided to get out of his truck and help. But he did more than just a quick repair. Jhonn took the entire fence down, cut it up, and built a new one that wouldn't require replacing for many years to come.
"So, today I was riding down the street and that's when I noticed my neighbor's fence laying on the ground, so I decided to replace it completely for free. Just because I' retired y'all and I ain't got nothing better to do. Plus I'm sure if they could afford to get it done, it would've been did by now," the friendly neighbor says in the video he uploaded to social media.
Jhonn quickly clarifies, "Now, I didn't just jump out of my truck with a saw and start cutting these people's fence up. I actually knocked on their door to see if this was something they actually wanted me to do and they was more than excited to tell me yeah when I told them I was going to do it for free."
The woman who owns the home is a single mom who lives with her own mother who was recently involved in a car accident that left the car totaled. While the family's been having a rough patch, they have been attempting to get the fence replaced for several years but the cost is just too much. The removal and installation of a new six foot privacy fence can run anywhere from $4,000 to well over $10,000 depending on the size of the yard, type of gates, and style of privacy fence being installed.
Guy Tearing Down Fence Takes A Tumble GIF by ViralHogGiphy
Jhonn explains that the family had been quoted over $6,000 by multiple contractors in order for the fence to be replaced, "and we all know with the state the world in right now, $6,000? You might as well say that's a million dollars."
It took the man just under three hours to complete the new fence and cost him a total of $2,173.89. He explains that he has big plans for his neighborhood by doing his part to make it look more desirable. Jhonn uses the money he makes off of TikTok to purchase materials for the free projects he does. The handy neighbor also has a website that has free blueprints of DIY projects like raised garden beds, sheds, mailboxes, and more.
People can't stop praising Jhonn's action and dedication to his neighborhood with one person writing, "This is what we need more of neighbors helping neighbors!
"That fence looks amazing!!! You can tell that you didn’t take shortcuts either. Built it like it was for yourself!!! Good on ya," another writes.
"As a single mom thank you I know that family are so grateful and appreciate you," someone else shares.
"You are such a good human. My mom was a single parent for many years and an older gentleman rebuilt our front and back porch because he was worried my Nana would get hurt. My mom was so grateful," one person reminisces.
Leo Tolstoy was a Russian novelist known for epic works such as War and Peace and Anna Karenina. His life experiences—from witnessing war to spiritual quests—profoundly influenced his writings and gave him profound insights into the human soul. His understanding of emotions, motivations and moral dilemmas has made his work stand the test of time, and it still resonates with people today.
“The more intelligent a person is, the more he discovers kindness in others,” Tolstoy once wrote. “For nothing enriches the world more than kindness. It makes mysterious things clear, difficult things easy, and dull things cheerful.”
Intelligent people are kind #intelligent #intelligence #kindness #smart #tolstoy #men #women
De Medeiros boiled down Tolstoy’s thoughts into a simple statement: “Intelligent people are unafraid to be kind.” He then took things a step further by noting that Tolstoy believed in the power of emotional intelligence. "To have emotional intelligence is to see the good in other people, that is what Tolstoy meant, that to be intelligent is to be kind," he added.
It seems that, according to de Medeiros, Tolstoy understood that intelligent people are kind and perceptive of the kindness in others. The intelligent person is conscious of the kindness within themselves and in the world around them.
In a 2024 opinion piece for Inc., author and speaker Jeff Hayden cites organizational psychologist Adam Grant, who says, "Generosity isn't just a sign of virtue. It's also a mark of intelligence. Data: people with high IQs have more unselfish values, give more to charity, and negotiate better deals for others. They prioritize the long-term collective good over short-term self-interest. It's smarter to be a giver than a taker."
Hayden adds on to this statement, saying, "...You can also be smart enough to be generous, thoughtful, and kind. You can be smart enough to build people up instead of tearing them down. You can be smart enough to give before you receive (or better yet, with no expectation of reciprocation.) You can be smart enough to shift the credit from yourself to others."
Kids showing kindness through sharing. Canva Photos
In other words, these findings certainly line up with what Tolstoy's take on the correlation between kindness and intelligence.
Through Tolstoy's musings, de Medeiros (and Hayden and Grant) makes a point that is often overlooked when people talk about intelligence: truly smart people are as in touch with their hearts as they are with their minds.
This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.
Ah, the awkward silence. We all pretend not to notice it—suddenly stretching our arms or scanning every corner of the room—but it's there. Sometimes it stems from something we've said, and often we don't even know why! Given how people come from such different backgrounds and upbringings, these conversational missteps are practically inevitable.
But don't worry! A touch of social anxiety never hurt anyone, and usually the solution is as simple as adjusting your phrasing. Etiquette experts and social skills coaches agree that despite our differences, certain specific phrases universally come across as tone-deaf, even when we're genuinely trying to connect. We've rounded up 13 of the worst offenders—do you catch yourself using any of these?
Honesty may be a virtue, but not when it’s used like this. When someone says, “I’m just being honest,” it’s typically to justify bluntness or insensitivity, therefore absolving them of any guilt or shame from the resulting hurt feelings.
Use this instead: “Can I offer some feedback?” or “I want to be honest with you, but I also want to be kind.”
“No offense, but…”
Stop right there, buddy. With a preface like that, it’s pretty darn likely that the following sentence will be offensive. “It rarely works and often insults people,” personal and corporate life coach, Mason Farmani, warns.
Use this instead: “I hope you don’t mind me saying,” or “I’m really sorry if this comes across as rude, but…”
This sentence is a one-way ticket to an emotional connection dead zone. Even if they are a sensitive person, it communicates that their feelings are invalid, and can make them feel even more alienated.
Use this instead: “I’m here for you.”
“Whatever.”
“This dismissive phrase is a conversational version of the middle finger,” Farmani says.
Use this instead: Words that reflect how you actually feel.
‘Whatever,’ what a versatile word! Depending on the context, try throwing one of these out instead:
“Let’s agree to disagree.”
“I’m not sure how to respond to this right now. Can we take a pause?”
“I hear what you’re saying.”
“I don’t feel strongly either way—what do you think is best?”
With “whatever,” you might as well be saying “Go away.” Photo by John Bussell on Unsplash
“Calm down.”
Genuine question: has this ever worked on anyone? “Rare is the person who is actually made more calm when told to 'calm down,’” explains Nick Leighton, an etiquette expert and co-host of the weekly podcast Were You Raised By Wolves?
Use this instead: “Take your time. I’m here when you're ready.”
“You always…” or “You never…”
These words are conversation poison because they’re disproportionate generalizations. “They put the other on the defensive and start a confrontation,” reports Farmani.
Use this instead: An ‘I’ statement.
Instead of saying “You never help me,” shift to your experience and the impact of that lack of assistance to, “I felt overwhelmed this morning when I was making the kids' breakfast by myself. I’d love some help before work.”
Be specific, assertive (but kind), and show empathy.
Congrats, do you want a cookie? Saying this serves no purpose, besides making yourself feel superior. It adds nothing to the conversation and makes the other person feel even worse—like you’re running a victory lap around their mistake.
Use this instead: “I’m here if you want to talk about what happened.”
“Not my problem.”
This is a lack of empathy slap in the face! Even if something isn’t your responsibility, there are more considerate ways to communicate that.
Use this instead: “That sounds tough. Have you tried [RESOURCE] or [SUGGESTION]?”
Or, if you’re open to hearing what’s on their mind: “I’m sorry you’re going through this right now. Is there a specific way I can support you?”
Just because it's technically not your problem, you might be creating a brand-new one. Photo credit: Canva
“You wouldn’t understand.”
Saying this creates an instant, impenetrable, icy barrier between you and the other person. Few strings of words shut down a conversation like this one, because of how dismissed the other person feels as a result.
Use this instead: “Have you ever felt [describe a relatable emotion or situation]? It’s something like that.”
“Actually…”
In grammar, ‘actually’ serves a contradiction or correction, which can make the other person feel demeaned. “The primary goal in social interaction is to be understood by fellow conversation participants. If that is accomplished, it should not matter what the exact phonetics and syntax of the speech are,” writes Benjamin Davis of The Michigan Daily.
Use this instead: “That’s an interesting point. I see it a bit differently—do you mind if I share?”
Or, if it’s just a simple correction: “In my understanding…”
Even if it’s true, do you have to say it so dismissively? Being on the receiving end of this can feel disheartening. Or, as one social communications expert put it, “It’s a phrase that can immediately create distance and a sense of disconnection in a conversation.”
Use this instead:
There are many ways to not care, and things to not care about. So, try these:
“I’m flexible.”
“I’m good with whatever you choose.”
“No preference here.”
“Sounds like you’re [INSERT EMOTION]. Thanks for sharing that with me.”
“That’s stupid.”
Well…now what? Where can a productive conversation possibly go after a statement like this?
Use this instead: “I’m not sure if I understand. Can you walk me through your thinking?”
“This is a way of invalidating your feelings and treating them as a defect rather than a perfectly normal part of communicating,” Farmani explains.
Use this instead: “Is there something specific that’s making this feel especially hard right now?” Even if they may seem extreme, instead of labeling their actions as "dramatic," try to understand what’s going on behind the scenes and driving that emotional response.
Human empathy is at the core of social skills. To get better at conversations, it’s best to avoid phrases that dismiss, belittle, or invalidate others—whether that was your intention or not.
“How we speak shapes how others see us,” as one expert puts it. “A little extra care with our words can mean the difference between connection and conflict.” So, in your very next conversation, keep in mind: it’s not just about what you say, but how you say it. There are ways to be truthful about your thoughts and opinions without being dismissive. And leave these 13 phrases at home, please!
Mom in tears after another parent calls about daughter's lunch
People say having children is like having your heart walk around outside of your body. You send them off to school, practices, or playdates and hope that the world treats them kindly because when they hurt, you hurt. Inevitably, there will be times when your child's feelings are hurt, so you do your best to prepare for that day.
But what prepares you for when the child you love so much winds up accidentally healing your inner child. A mom on TikTok, who goes by Soogia posted a video explaining a phone call she received from a parent in her daughter's classroom. The mom called to inform Soogia that their kids had been sharing lunch with each other.
Soogia wasn't prepared for what came next. The classmate's mother informed her that her son loves the food Soogia's daughter brings to school and wanted to learn how to cook it, too. "I was like, 'thank you for my food'? Like, what is she talking about? Did she find my TikTok? 'F**k, I"m mortified.' But that wasn't the case," Soogia recalled, hardly being able to get the story out through her tears.
That may seem like a small thing to some, but the small gesture healed a little bit of Soogia's inner child. Growing up as a Korean kid in California, Soogia's experience was a bit different than what her children are now experiencing.
Children eating lunch together.Photo via Canva/Photos
"I guess I just never thought that my kids would be the generation of kids that could go to school and not only just proudly eat, but share their food with other kids that were just so open and accepting to it," Soogia says through tears. "Knowing that they don't sit there eating their food, feeling ashamed and wishing that their fried rice was a bagel instead, or something like that. And I know, it sounds so small and it sounds so stupid, but knowing their experience at school is so different from mine in such a positive way is just so hopeful."
At the end of the video, she vowed to send extra food in her daughter's lunch every day so she could share her culture with the other kids.
Soogia's tearful video pulled on the heartstrings of her viewers who shared their thoughts in the comments.
"Soogia! It will never be small. Your culture is beautiful & the littles are seeing that every day. You've even taught me so much. I'm grateful for you," one person says.
"Beautiful! I can see your inner child healing in so many ways," another writes.
"Welp. Now I'm sobbing at the airport. This is beautiful," someone reveals.
"These Gen Alpha babies really are a different, kinder generation. I love them so much," one commenter gushes.
Ultimately, the story is a wonderful reminder that everyone has a backstory and that a simple gesture like appreciating someone's culture or history can mean far more to them than you'll ever know.
Intentional relationships are a game-changer. Photo credit: Canva
A heart shaped neon sign in the dark Photo by 
looking the sandlot GIF
Guy Tearing Down Fence Takes A Tumble GIF by ViralHog
An intelligent man's thought process.
Kids showing kindness through sharing. 
With “whatever,” you might as well be saying “Go away.” Photo by 
Just because it's technically not your problem, you might be creating a brand-new one. 
Children eating lunch together.Photo via