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92-year-old former ballet dancer with dementia wrote a poem that has us all wrecked

What a beautiful gut punch.

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"I am still a dancer made of song."

Humans have been writing poetry for thousands of years, communicating feelings and ideas in beautiful, powerful ways that prose just can't quite reach. Poetry can be hard to define, but you know it when you see it—or rather, when you feel it.

Emily Dickinson once wrote, “If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.” A poem hits you somewhere—your brain, your heart, your gut. And one poem that packs an incredibly moving punch has come from an unlikely source—an elderly woman with dementia.

Poet Joseph Fasano shared a message from a fan who shared that they had brought his book, "The Magic Words: Simple Poetry Prompts That Unlock the Creativity in Everyone," to their mother, a 92-year-old former ballet dancer living with dementia. The mother was excited to write a poem, and they slowly worked through a prompt from the book together aloud.

This poem was the result:

"Let the days be warm

Let the fall be long.

Let every child inside me find her shoes

and dance wildly, softly, toward the world.

I have a story I have never told

Once, when I was small,

I looked up at the sky and saw the wind

and knew I was a dancer made of song.

I am still a dancer made of song."

Wow. What a testament to the power of poetry to reach beyond our usual modes of communication, which dementia so cruelly disrupts. In a few simple lines, we're able to see this woman as she might see herself, as the human living under the veils of age and disease: "I am still a dancer made of song."

Poetry prompts can help people express themselves

The person who shared the poem thanked Fasano for "helping people find their voices," which is exactly what his book of poetry prompts was meant to do.

The Magic Words book"The Magic Words" is a book of poetry prompts from Joseph Fasano.Amazon

In the book's introduction, Fasano shares that he'd been invited to speak to a class of second graders in New Jersey in 2022 to share "the craft and magic of poetry." As part of his efforts, he came up with a poetry prompt that could "help guide their imaginations" and "unlock the images, thoughts and feelings inside them, without asking them to worry about how to structure a poem." He called the results "astonishing." When he shared one of the students' poems on social media, it and the prompt took off like wildfire, as people who never thought of themselves as poets felt empowered to share their imaginations within that framework.

From 7-year-olds to 92-year-olds, anyone can benefit from the self-expression that poetry facilitates, but many people feel hesitant or intimidated by the idea of writing a poem. Fasano writes, "Poetry is what happens when we let ourselves be," and this idea seems so clear than in the former dancer's poem above. Dementia can create roadblocks, but poetry provides a different avenue of communication.

younger woman looking at a book with an older womanCaregivers try many different ways to communicate with people living with dementia.Photo credit: Canva

The arts can be a powerful tool for people with dementia

Using poetry to help dementia patients communicate and express themselves isn't just wishful thinking. Studies have demonstrated that cultural arts interventions, including poetry specifically, can be beneficial for people with dementia. In fact, the Alzheimer's Poetry Project (APP) aims to use poetry as a means of improving the quality of life of people living with dementia by facilitating creative expression. "We do not set boundaries in our beliefs in what possible for people with memory impairment to create," the APP website states. "By saying to people with dementia, we value you and your creativity; we are saying we value all members of our community."

Poet Gary Glazner founded APP and shared a story with WXPR radio about how he came up with the idea while studying poetry at Sonoma State University:

“I applied for a grant and got a grant to work at an adult care program. The moment I love to share with people is there was a guy in the group, head down, not participating and I said the Longfellow poem. ‘I shot an arrow into the air’ and his eyes popped open and he said, ‘It fell to earth I know not where.’ And suddenly he was with us and participating. It was just this powerful moment to see how poetry could be of use to elders but specifically with people with dementia."

Whether we read it, write it, speak it or hear it, poetry has the power to reach people of all ages in all kinds of mysterious ways.

You can follow Joseph Fasano on Twitter and Instagram, and find his books on Amazon.

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Identity

Poet says he won't let his sons play with dolls and women are tearfully praising the message

The unexpected twist hist hard. And that final line? Phew.

Demetri Manabat/TikTok (shared with permission)

Demetri Manabat's "Barbie" poem makes a powerful statement.

Usually, when you hear a man say he doesn't want his son to play with dolls, you have a pretty good idea of what beliefs sit beneath the sentiment. It's not unreasonable to assume that some combination of misogyny, homophobia and problematic ideas about masculinity are at play in such an attitude.

That's why an unexpected turn in Demetri Manabat's spoken word poem, "Barbie," caught people's attention.

Manabat referred to "Barbie" as "a poem about dolls" in the caption of a TikTok video showing him performing it on stage. He opens the poem with a provocative statement: "My sons will never play with dolls. In fact, I refuse to let my sons play with dolls."

He goes on to explain that if he ever catches his son with a Barbie or a Bratz doll or a Polly Pocket or Cabbage Patch, he would set them straight, "knowing that's not how God intended" for men to act.

The audience sits quietly through all of this, and a heavy pause lets them stew in his words. But then the twist comes as Manabat explains the why behind his feelings about his sons playing with dolls, and it's one heck of a gut punch with an absolutely knock-out last line.

Watch, all the way to the end:

@demetrimanabat

“Barbie” A poem about dolls. I hope you enjoy. Much Much Love Always & Forever Demetri #barbie #poetry #doll #spokenword #writing #writer #lasvegas

Is it any wonder the video has been liked over nearly a million times in three days on TikTok alone?

People in the comments were as expressive about their feelings as some of the live audience members who called out during the poem.

"I was like booooy, you better be goin somewhere with this, and yall he WENT somewhere," wrote one commenter.

"This is one of those poems you have to stick around for. I hope millions stick around for it, sir," wrote another.

One commenter simply wrote "*deletes paragraph*" as a joke about how they were initially responding to the poem when it began. Another wrote "*trust the algorithm, trust the algorithm*" in a similar vein.

Lots of people shared the lines that hit them particularly hard.

"'My boys will not make toys out of women.' This is a very amazing and beautiful piece. More people need to hear it," wrote one person.

"'Treated like a woman well before she was one but never taken seriously long after she became one' has me in tears," shared another.

"'Stretch marks tattooed across her skin as a result of reaching so far across the universe she bridged heaven and earth.'" another wrote.

"'Is the child inside of her not dying, too' felt like everything just got knocked out of me. That was one of the strongest lines I've ever heard," shared nother.

Poetry has the power to speak truth in a way that helps us understand ourselves and our world better, and spoken word poetry in particular, with its rhythmic storytelling, is a powerful tool for synthesizing complex thoughts, beliefs and feelings. Manabat could have said, "Without understanding the true value of women in real life, boys playing with dolls could symbolize men seeing women as plastic playthings to be handled and controlled and casually tossed aside," but that wouldn't have been nearly as effective as the picture he painted with his poetry and that last line—"My boys will not make toys out of women, so I refuse to let them play with dolls until they actually understand the difference between the two." Phew.

Here's to the poets who put humanity into words, and here's to conscientious men who give voice to the struggle too many women have endured for generations.

You can follow Demetri Manbat on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and X.

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Joy

The beautiful thing that happens in Amsterdam if you die and have no one to attend your funeral

The Lonely Funeral project was started by poet Frank Starik, who wrote, "Everyone—and this is the point—every person deserves respect."

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Every life deserves to at least be acknowledged.

Funerals can be many things—a sombre mourning, a celebration of life, a time for family to honor a loved one—but one thing they should never be is unattended.

But the reality is that some people simply don’t have people. Maybe they’re estranged from their family and have outlived all their friends. Maybe they fell into a life of drug addiction and lost all of their close connections. Maybe no next of kin can be found or they just happen to die in a life stage when they have no one around to attend their funeral. Whatever the reason, some people's send-offs from earthly existence are purely legal affairs with no personal touches whatsoever.

Two decades ago, some poets in the Netherlands decided that was an unacceptable ending for a human life. In 2001, a poet named Bart Droog began attending the funerals of people who had no one to attend them and honoring the dead with a poem based on whatever was known about their life. A year later, Dutch poet and artist Frank Starik took the idea even further, launching The Lonely Funeral project to ensure that someone who cares consciously acknowledges the life of a person who has died.

The idea was to create a network of poets who would find out whatever they could about the person, write a custom poem about their life and read it at their funeral. As of 2018, over 300 "lonely funerals" had been attended by poets in Amsterdam and Antwerp (where Flemish poet Maarten Inghels launched a Lonely Funeral project seven years after Starik's).

The Lonely Funeral project has continued to expand to other countries as well. Scottish poet Andy Jackson has begun writing poems for "lonely funerals" and attending them in his hometown of Dundee and he hopes to expand the project to the rest of Scotland.

"I feel everybody deserves something humane at the end of life" he told the BBC. "Nobody should be completely unmourned. If we want to live in humane country these are little things we can do for people. It becomes the job of the community."

A natural question is how the poets know what to write if the person was all alone.

"They would have a passport, some details from the police or from social services, a photograph or some information about their life maybe," Jackson explained to the BBC. "Something that would give away something of who they were that a poet then could use to form the basis of a piece of work that would actually celebrate the real person—not somebody you couldn't identify."

Starik and Inghels have even published a book, The Lonely Funeral: Poets at the Gravesides of the Forgotten, which includes poems for 31 forgotten lives and descriptions of their funerals—a small piece of dignity offered to perfect strangers.

There's perhaps nothing more beautiful than the impulse to recognize someone simply for the sake of their humanity. It's a reminder that we are all connected in some way, even if it's just by the reality of life and death.

As Starik wrote in his preface to The Lonely Funeral: "We do not know to whom we say goodbye, so we feel no pain. But everyone—and this is the point—every person deserves respect."

Leave it to the poets to remind us of the inherent worth of every human being and to honor it with such a simple, selfless service.

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'Words Whispered to a Child Under Siege' is a powerful poem about parenting in a war zone

Joseph Fasano's heartbreaking poem speaks volumes about our shared humanity.

Photo by Sander Sammy on Unsplash

How does a father keep a child comforted and quiet while under siege?

I've never been in a war zone, but as a mother of three, I've pictured it. Any time I read a news story about a part of the world that's exploded into violence, I imagine what it must be like for parents—especially those with small children—living through it. How do they explain what's happening? How do they comfort their kids when they themselves are terrified? How do they shield their children not only from unthinkable atrocity but from fear itself?

Joseph Fasano's poem "Words Whispered to a Child Under Siege" hits at the heart of those questions in a scenario that has played out countless times throughout human history. The poem's narrator is a father trying to comfort his child while they hide from soldiers in their house, and the way he makes a game out of it highlights the lengths parents will go to help children feel safe, even when they objectively aren't.

Fasano shared the poem on social media and it has been shared tens of thousands of time from different accounts. As one page warned, "Prepare your heart before reading." It's solid advice, though it's hard to know how to prepare for it.

The poem reads:

No, we are not going to die.

The sounds you hear

knocking the windows and chipping the paint

from the ceiling, that is a game

the world is playing.

Our task is to crouch in the dark as long as we can

and count the beats of our own hearts.

Good. Like that. Lay your hand

on my heart and I'll lay mine on yours.

Which one of us wins

is the one who loves the game the most

while it lasts.

Yes, it is going to last.

You can use your ear instead of your hand.

Here, on my heart.

Why is it beating faster? For you. That's all.

I always wanted you to be born

and so did the world.

No, those aren't a stranger's bootsteps in the house.

Yes, I'm here. We're safe.

Remember chess? Remember

hide-and-seek?

The song your mother sang? Let's sing that one.

She's still with us, yes. But you have to sing

without making a sound. She'd like that.

No, those aren't bootsteps.

Sing. Sing louder.

Those aren't bootsteps.

Let me show you how I cried when you were born.

Those aren't bootsteps.

Those aren't sirens.

Those aren't flames.

Close your eyes. Like chess. Like hide-and-seek.

When the game is done you get another life.

- Joseph Fasano

Fasano wrote in Instagram, "I hope these words do what words can do sometimes." They did, judging by the comment section:

"Gorgeously gut wrenching poem to read, and difficult to wrap our minds around the idea that this is and has been far too many people’s reality…I’ve been a fan of your poems for a while. You provide the perfect example I can show my students of how art and writing help us maintain our humanity ❤️"

"Thank you, Mr. Fasano. I have been walking around unable to make sense of anything that is happening in the world and I feel myself shutting down. Your words give voice to everything that I cannot find the words for. Thank you for your poetry. Thank you for sharing."

"Thank you for this tender and horrifying poem at such a time as this. How necessary your words are."

Poetry has a way of saying so much in so few words. Here we see a father's translating his frightened heartbeat and tears of terror into love for his child. We see him calling upon the child's mother as a way to comfort in an impossible situation. We see him blatantly lying—"You're safe. Those aren't bootsteps. Those aren't flames," all to keep his child from being afraid.

And the fact that this could be any father in any war zone in any place and time is a heartbreaking reminder of our shared humanity.

No matter the conflict or the rationale behind it, innocent people are the primary victims of war and children always pay the biggest price. When tensions and passions run high, we must remember this: Wars don't break out between average citizens just trying to live their lives in peace. War is a fight between powers, with men in safe rooms ordering less powerful men to take up arms against their fellow human beings. Average citizens don't want any part of these conflicts—they just want to take their kids to the park, talk about their days over family dinner and not worry about what games to play with their children if or when the bombs and boots start dropping.

You can find more of Joseph Fasano's poetry on Instagram and X (formerly Twitter), and you can pre-order his book, "The Magic Words: Simple Poetry Prompts That Unlock the Creativity in Everyone," here.

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