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A haunting poem captures our Kyle Rittenhouse moment. America: 'come get your children.'

A haunting poem captures our Kyle Rittenhouse moment. America: 'come get your children.'
Leslé Honoré Poetry/Facebook

Looking at a photo of Kyle Rittenhouse, it's hard for many of us not to see every horrible American stereotype personified. The 17-year-old who illegally crossed state lines with a semi-automatic rifle to "protect businesses" in Kenosha, Wisconsin, ended up shooting three people, killing two of them.

And for these actions, he's been celebrated by some as a hero.

The vastly different ways people view this teen is emblematic of the division in the U.S. when it comes to racial justice. Where some people see a patriot, others see a terrorist. How anyone could look at a 17-year-old illegally carrying a gun, prepared to shoot people while protecting property that isn't his as anything other than radicalized is beyond me. Yet here we are.

Poet Leslé Honoré shared a poem on Facebook that sums up the haunting feeling the Kyle Rittenhouse killings conjure for many Americans—particularly for those who have been on the receiving end of racism and gun violence from people who present themselves as "pro-America."

Honoré's first book of poetry, Fist and Fire, can be found here. She also has a new book, Letters and Lagniappe, coming out this fall.

The poem reads:

America come get your children
The ones you are so proud of
The ones wearing Stars and Stripes
Buying guns like candy
The ones dripping with
White privilege
That you created with
Red blood from brown skin
America come get your children
Come get your kids
The ones flying flags of defeat
Of history long dead
Of a life they wish they had
Of superiority they believe they have
The lies you whispered in their ears
As you rocked them to sleep
"Look away look away look away Dixie land"
America come get your children
The ones terrorizing this country
The ones terrorizing the world
The ones never called a terrorist
Come get
Your rapist
Your misogynistic
Your appropriating
Hating
Bigoted
Offspring
You know...
the apples that didn't fall far from the tree
America come get your children
The ones running the country
The ones too cowardly to speak up
The ones that shoot into protests
Churches
Light torches
Run cars into peace
Come get your diseased infants
Entitled children in men's bodies
Jealous girls screaming in women's voices
Come get this disgusting basket of
Deplorables
That you nurtured on
Manifest destiny
The pale pink faces
In utter disbelief
That even though you put your knee
On every Brown and Black neck you saw
We have fought back and risen
Casting shadows on your children
And they rage when they learn
That being a white mediocre man
Is no longer enough

America come get your children
Before they burn this stolen land down
And you with it

- Leslé Honoré

But what's remarkable is that despite how relevant the poem is to this moment, it wasn't written specifically for this moment. Honoré wrote it in 2017 after the mass shooting in Las Vegas.

Honoré tells Upworthy that she has a couple of gun violence poems that she reshares whenever the moment fits—which unfortunately is far too frequently. "It's very sad and heavy that I don't even have to write a new poem," she ways. "I can just change the hashtag because nothing has changed. Nothing changed from Sandy Hook, nothing changed from Columbine, nothing changed from Florida, nothing changed from Vegas. It was a continuation of this very sad and heavy state that we've been having in this country when it comes to gun violence."

She says this poem struck a nerve for "reminding people that this is exactly who we are, and until we address this honestly, we're not going to have any change."

"This is very much our legacy," she says. "It's what the country was built on. It was built on enslaving people for free labor, stealing land, oppression, a legacy of Jim Crow laws, and segregation, and black belts, and the Great Migration and the Civil Rights Movement. All of these things are very much linked."

Honoré says some of her favorite responses to the poem are from people new to her work who express either gratitude for expressing what they don't know how to, in addition to people who feel pushed by it in a good way. "Always, for me, it's when I get white readers who thank me for challenging them and who say that they're seeing things differently by reading my poetry," she says. "That just makes my knees buckle and gives me goosebumps. And it helps me swallow the other not very nice things that I get in my inbox or on the comments on the poem."

"To use a country phrase," she adds, "I've been called everything but a child of God."

Indeed, the comments on her poem are a mix that reflect the unrest we're seeing across the country. "If you ever want to see what the underbelly of America really looks like, grab a glass of your favorite liquor and look in the comments of this poem," she says, "because it's hideous." The worst comments, though, go straight to her inbox because people aren't brave enough to put them up for everyone to see. "Typically I get 'You're a fat, ugly, stupid c*nt,'" she says, then laughs. "Like, do the white nationalists copy and paste that to me?"

Honoré says she's developed a thick skin and doesn't let the hate bother her. In addition to writing poetry, she works for a non-profit subsidiary of SEIU (Service Employees International Union) that trains more than 30,000 home care workers who work with the elderly, people with disabilities, and children—work that is done primarily by Black and brown women. The advocacy work she does helps inform her writing, she says. She has seen these essential workers make huge sacrifices during the pandemic and racial unrest, with some walking for hours to get to their clients who need them when public transportation in Chicago got shut down. "That's the commitment of the people who we represent," she says, "so I could give two shits about some stranger calling me a c*nt in my inbox. I've got really important work to do."

Honoré has had poems go viral before, but this one is different. "Typically the pieces that go big are some of my feel-good pieces where we can see ourselves and see our humanity. This one struck a nerve in a very unique way, and it was like a dog whistle for…phew, I mean, anything that anybody who calls themselves an activist is fighting against. It's all there in black and white."

Facebook took down the poem briefly, with Honoré receiving a notice that it had been flagged for violating community standards on hate speech (undoubtedly because some white folks who got big mad about it reported it). The same thing happened on Instagram, but both platforms restored the poem after it was reviewed.

Despite what angry commenters may think, Honoré is clear that the reality expressed in her poem does not reflect a hatred for the U.S. "I love being American," she says. "I'm the daughter of a Mexican immigrant. My father was an African-American from New Orleans. The plantation where my family was enslaved is still standing in New Orleans…I'm American as it gets, both by birth right and blood right. So I feel I have the liberty to criticize her to be better."

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Health

How often should you wash your sheets? Experts settle the debate once and for all.

People have all kinds of opinions on this.

Kampus Production/Canva

How often do you change your sheets?

If you were to ask a random group of people, "How often do you wash your sheets?" you'd likely get drastically different answers. There are the "Every single Sunday without fail" folks, the "Who on Earth washes their sheets weekly?!?" people and everyone in between.

According to a survey of 1,000 Americans conducted by Mattress Advisor, the average time between sheet changings or washings in the U.S. is 24 days—or every 3 1/2 weeks, approximately. The same survey revealed that 35 days is the average interval at which unwashed sheets are "gross."

Some of you are cringing at those stats while others are thinking, "That sounds about right." But how often should you wash your sheets, according to experts?

Hint: It's a lot more frequent than 24 days.

While there is no definitive number of days or weeks, most experts recommend swapping out used sheets for clean ones every week or two.

Dermatologist Alok Vij, MD told Cleveland Clinic that people should wash their sheets at least every two weeks, but probably more often if you have pets, live in a hot climate, sweat a lot, are recovering from illness, have allergies or asthma or if you sleep naked.

We shed dead skin all the time, and friction helps those dead skin cells slough off, so imagine what's happening every time you roll over and your skin rubs on the sheets. It's normal to sweat in your sleep, too, so that's also getting on your sheets. And then there's dander and dust mites and dirt that we carry around on us just from living in the world, all combining to make for pretty dirty sheets in a fairly short period of time, even if they look "clean."

Maybe if you shower before bed and always wear clean pajamas you could get by with a two-week sheet swap cycle, but weekly sheet cleaning seems to be the general consensus among the experts. The New York Times consulted five books about laundry and cleaning habits, and once a week was what they all recommend.

Sorry, once-a-monthers. You may want to step up your sheet game a bit.

What about the rest of your bedding? Blankets and comforters and whatnot?

Sleep.com recommends washing your duvet cover once a week, but this depends on whether you use a top sheet. Somewhere between the Gen X and Millennial eras, young folks stopped being about the top sheet life, just using their duvet with no top sheet. If that's you, wash that baby once a week. If you do use a top sheet, you can go a couple weeks longer on the duvet cover.

For blankets and comforters and duvet inserts, Sleep.com says every 3 months. And for decorative blankets and quilts that you don't really use, once a year washing will suffice.

What about pillows? Pillowcases should go in with the weekly sheet washing, but pillows themselves should be washed every 3 to 6 months. Washing pillows can be a pain, and if you don't do it right, you can end up with a lumpy pillow, but it's a good idea because between your sweat, saliva and skin cells, pillows can start harboring bacteria.

Finally, how about the mattress itself? Home influencers on TikTok can often be seen stripping their beds, sprinkling their mattress with baking soda, brushing it into the mattress fibers and then vacuuming it all out. Architectural Digest says the longer you leave baking soda on the mattress, the better—at least a few hours, but preferably overnight. Some people add a few drops of essential oil to the baking soda for some extra yummy smell.

If that all sounds like way too much work, maybe just start with the sheets. Pick a day of the week and make it your sheet washing day. You might find that climbing into a clean, fresh set of sheets more often is a nice way to feel pampered without a whole lot of effort.


This article originally appeared last year.

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Joy

Tony Hawk shared his ultimate mistaken identity experience: 'maybe this is where it all ends'

Tony Hawk being mistaken for Tony Hawk is a long-running joke, but a recent elevator encounter was like a "greatest hits" moment.

HBO/YouTube, Tony Hawk/Twitter

Tony Hawk's ongoing mistaken identity joke just hit its apex.

Tony Hawk might just be the least-recognized well-known person on the planet. The iconic skateboarder is now in his 50s, but his legendary status in the skating world—and video game world—has made him a household name. His face, on the other hand, is a different story.

For years, Hawk has shared hilarious stories of people telling him he looks like Tony Hawk. These mistaken-but-not-mistaken identity incidents happen so often that Hawk has made a running joke out of it, often playing along with people's "Hey, does anyone ever tell you you look like Tony Hawk?" inquiries. Sometimes he tells people he actually is Tony Hawk and they don't believe him. Sometimes he just says he gets that all the time.

Tony Hawk fans know the joke well, so sometimes they purposefully tell him he looks like himself just for giggles. But an elevator interaction in 2022 combined the ongoing saga's greatest hits, and may just be, as Hawk says, "where it all ends."

Hawk shared the story on Twitter.

"This just happened, and maybe this is where it all ends," he wrote. "Got on an elevator with 3 people. One guy (with his wife), sarcastically: 'anyone ever tell you…' and stops. Me (amused): yes, but you're the first today. His wife: 'I'm sorry, I tried to stop him from doing the joke."

Cute, but then it got extra funny.

The elevator stopped and the couple got off on their floor. Then the third person on the elevator asked what the joke was. When Hawk explained that he gets "mistaken" for Tony Hawk, the guy said, "Haha you do look like him!" and then exited the elevator, leaving Hawk standing there alone and perplexed by what just happened.

It's like the guy unintendedly came up with a perfect punchline to a joke he didn't even know existed. You can't even write this stuff.

People loved the perfect storm that occurred on the elevator, and shared other fun Tony Hawk mistaken identity jokes.

And apparently, Tony Hawk isn't the only famous-but-not-like-Brad-Pitt-famous person to deal with this kind of thing.

Good times. Keep on being your cool, awesome self, Tony Hawk—whether people recognize you for real or not.

BTW, there's a new documentary about Tony Hawk called "Until the Wheels Fall Off" that just premiered on HBO. Check it out:

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Internet

Gen Zer asks Gen X how they got around without GPS and the answers are perfectly accurate

"We're old. Older than Google, too."

Photo credit: Canva

Gen Zer asks how people got around without GPS, Gen X responds

It's easy to forget what life was like before cell phones fit in your pocket and Google could tell you the meaning of life in less than .2 seconds. Gen Z is the first generation to be born after technology began to move faster than most people can blink. They never had to deal with the slow speeds and loud noises of dial up internet.

In fact, most people that fall in the Gen Z category have no idea that their parents burned music on a CD thinking that was peak mix tape technology. Oh, how wrong they were. Now songs live in a cloud but somehow come out of your phone without having to purchase the entire album or wait until the radio station plays the song so you can record it.

But Gen Z has never lived that struggle so the idea of things they consider to be basic parts of life not existing are baffling to them. One self professed Gen Zer, Aneisha, took to social media to ask a question that has been burning on her mind–how did people travel before GPS?

Now, if you're older than Gen Z–whose oldest members are just 27 years old–then you likely know the answer to the young whippersnapper's question. But even some Millennials had trouble answering Aneisha's question as several people matter of factly pointed to Mapquest. A service that requires–you guessed it, the internet.

Aneisha asks in her video, "Okay, serious question. How did people get around before the GPS? Like, did you guys actually pull a map and like draw lines to your destination? But then how does that work when you're driving by yourself, trying to hold up the map and drive? I know it's Gen Z of me but I kind of want to know."

@aneishaaaaaaaaaaa I hope this reaches the right people, i want to know
♬ original sound - aneishaaaaaaa

These are legitimate questions for someone who has never known life without GPS. Even when most Millennials were starting to drive, they had some form of internet to download turn-by-turn directions, so it makes sense that the cohort between Gen Z and Gen X would direct Aneisha to Mapquest. But there was a time before imaginary tiny pirates lived inside of computer screens to point you in the right direction and tales from those times are reserved for Gen X.

The generation known for practically raising themselves chimed in, not only to sarcastically tell Millennials to sit down but to set the record straight on what travel was like before the invention of the internet. Someone clearly unamused by younger folks' suggestion shares, "The people saying mapquest. There was a time before the internet kids."

Others are a little more helpful, like one person who writes, "You mentally note landmarks, intersections. Pretty easy actually," they continue. "stop at a gas station, open map in the store, ($4.99), put it back (free)."

"Believe it or not, yes we did use maps back then. We look at it before we leave, then take small glances to see what exits to take," someone says, which leaves Aneisha in disbelief, replying, "That's crazyy, I can't even read a map."

"Pulled over and asked the guy at the gas station," one person writes as another chimes in under the comment, "and then ask the guy down the street to make sure you told me right."

Imagine being a gas station attendant in the 90s while also being directionally challenged. Was that part of the hiring process, memorizing directions for when customers came in angry or crying because they were lost? Not knowing where you were going before the invention of the internet was also a bit of a brain exercise laced with exposure therapy for those with anxiety. There were no cell phones so if you were lost no one who cared about you would know until you could find a payphone to check in.

The world is so overly connected today that the idea of not being able to simply share your location with loved ones and "Ask Siri" when you've gotten turned around on your route seems dystopian. But in actuality, if you took a few teens from 1993 and plopped them into 2024 they'd think they were living inside of a sci-fi movie awaiting aliens to invade.

Technology has made our lives infinitely easier and nearly unrecognizable from the future most could've imagined before the year 2000, so it's not Gen Z's fault that they're unaware of how the "before times" were. They're simply a product of their generation.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Family

Interior designer says that having family photo 'shrines' in the house is poor taste

Is decorating with family photos tacky?

via Travis Isaacs/Flickr

A collage of family photos.

Shannyn Weiler, a Utah-based interior designer, has caused a debate on TikTok after she urged people to use caution when displaying family photos in the home. The discussion started a debate over whether a home should be decorated for visitors or the family itself and if having a “shrine” dedicated to family members is tasteful.

The video began with a stitch from a designer passionately saying that one should “never’ display “personal photos” in the living room.

“So family photos can become a problem when they become what I refer to as the shrine,” Weiler begins the video. She shared an example from her life, to make the case why family photos should be hung judiciously.

“I got married when I was 21,” she shares. “We were both in school, absolutely broke, we had $50 to buy a couch, so imagine what type of couch that was. We went to go decorate our first apartment and lo and behold, there’s no money for decoration. So we do what most newlyweds do, we use our wedding photos, because we’re so cute and we’re so in love and we just love our wedding day. Everywhere in our apartment was wedding photos… it felt like what I call ‘the shrine.’”

“It’s very real. This also happens if you have one baby, and you might have baby photos taken and it’s the shrine to the one kid,” she continues. “This also happens if you have one grandkid.”

@shannynweiler

Interior design art tips Art decor interior design Interior design 2024 art prints Interior design art trends 2024 interior design trends #hometips #homedecor #wallart #decortips #walldecor #interiordesign

Weiler believes that people should hang artwork or photography about more than one subject.

“They can’t just be on every wall with one subject,” she says. “We need to mix it up. There needs to be a mirror in the space. We need some Etsy art prints or something like that. We just need to mix it together to get rid of that shrine feel.”

The post bothered many who love having pictures of their family around the house. The vast majority of commenters were people who love having family photos strewn about their homes

"The house is for us not company," Sarah Murdock, the most popular commenter, wrote. "I’d rather have pics of my kids and our life up than prints of random flowers and art," Ty Harman added.

"I grew up in an interior design magazine and HATED that my mom never displayed any photos of my family. Felt like she cared more about material things," Alexandra DiGiovanni wrote.

Others noted that people decorate their homes for themselves, not for guests.

"OR we do what we want with the homes WE live in, not guests," Ergot wrote. "I like myself, I don't have a problem seeing myself everywhere. After all, I paid the bills," Gege Chic added.

Some people agreed with the interior decorator and said that having too many family photos in a house looks tacky.

"YES. Photographs of ourselves in my own house feel so weird to me. Narcissistic kind of Jamiecakes wrote. "I don't have a single photo of a person in my house. I think they look tacky," C wrote. "One friend's house comes to mind for me, it was tacky (for me) to see nothing but wedding pics. Like, do you have other interests? Just my opinion but also, they’re divorced now. Mixing in art helps," _sigred added.

Even though the post received a pretty sizable backlash, Weiler’s opinion is widely accepted in design circles. “To us, having too many portraits of yourself on display in your home is kind of like having a tattoo of yourself on your own body. It can come off as vain and tacky,” Sarah Han writes at Apartment Therapy.

After her thoughts on family photos went viral, Weiler posted a follow-up video where she shared an example of a student changing their mind about home decor.

“Sometimes in design, we hear the design ideas and go, 'Mmm nope, that's not for me.' Sometimes, we try those ideas and we still say, 'Nope, that's not for me.' But occasionally we try things and we go, 'Okay, I do kind of like that,’” Weiler concluded her video.

@shannynweiler

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This article originally appeared last year.

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Movies

A GenZ teen watched the 80s classic 'Say Anything' and said these are its four life lessons

The 17-year-old found meaning not often present in modern movies.

The iconic scene from 'Say Anything' (20th Century Fox)

John Cusack in "Say Anything"

If you grew up anywhere near the 1980s, the image of Lloyd Dobler (as played by John Cusack) holding up a boombox is burned into your brain. But one Gen-Zer had never heard of the film, much less a boombox. When my pal Susan showed her son Noah the movie (released in theaters in 1989) his mouth was agape. "What is kickboxing?" he asked. "Why is he holding up those speakers? Who sings that SONG?"

Of course, Susan explained. "Kickboxing is the sport of the future. Those speakers are how we Gen X-ers transported music. And the song is In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel." Noah was overwhelmed with emotion. (That song will do it every time!) Susan says he talked about it for days and by the end of the week, he wanted to watch it again. This time he invited over friends (who are also juniors in his high school) and they all concurred: Lloyd Dobler and Diane Court are their "relationship goals."


John Cusack holding a boombox over his head in "Say Anything"John Cusack in "Say Anything"The iconic scene from 'Say Anything' (20th Century Fox)

It was the Lloyd character, especially, who resonated with Noah. "That's how we should all be treating people," he told his mom. When she asked for examples why, he had plenty to give.

Here are Noah's Lloyd Dobler-inspired takeaways on how to be chivalrous:

1) Keep your date safe.

In one memorable scene, after Lloyd gets Diane (played by actress Ione Skye) to agree to go to the graduation after- party with him, he kicks some broken glass out of her path to make sure Diane doesn't step in it. It's a simple gesture, but you can see Diane is visibly impressed. It might even be the exact moment she "falls" for him.

Noah shared with his mom, "That's an 'of course' moment. I'd do that for anyone, whether it was a first date or not!"

say anything inspiration GIFGiphy

2) Use music to express yourself.

In what is arguably one of the most iconic scenes in any film EVER, Lloyd stands outside of Diane's window holding his boombox. Song choice? In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel. While some more cynical people might say Lloyd was being "pushy" in this moment, fresh-eyed Noah felt quite the opposite!

He gave it some thought. "I think I might use something by Harry Styles. And I wonder if iPhone speakers would be loud enough."

stan marsh love GIF by South Park Giphy

3) Help the heartbroken.

One of the most endearing qualities about Lloyd was his empathy toward his friends and family, especially the women in his life. Whether it was his sweet, albeit stressed-out sister (played by his real life sister Joan Cusack) or his close-knit circle of friends, he was always there to lend an ear or be a beacon of non-judgmental wisdom.

After Lloyd cried, "I gave her my heart, and she gave me a pen," Noah wisely observed, "It was funny that his buddies were rapping at the Gas 'n' Sip, but it was his female friends who he really leaned on when he was sad."

And it's Lloyd who helps pick up the pieces for his friend Corey (played by Lily Taylor) when she develops an unmanageable push/pull crush on a guy named Joe. It's SO intense, she writes/performs a song called "Joe Lies." In turn, Corey has Joe's back. When she and two other friends ask, "If you're Diane Court, would you honestly fall for Lloyd?" The answer for everyone is a resounding "Yes."

Noah loved that scene. He said, "Real friends stay your friends, even when you write someone a cringe song. We've all been there!"

john cusack telephone booth GIFGiphy

4) Bet on yourself.

The thing about Lloyd Dobler is he knows exactly who he is. He's Good Guy personified and he never wavers from that.

As self actualized as he is, he equally knows who he doesn't want to be. This is made famous by the scene where Diane's father asks him what he wants to do for a living. "I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought or processed or repair anything sold, bought or processed."

Noah loved how much Lloyd believed in himself, sharing, "He never gives up on himself. He aims high and it pays off." He really connected to the scene when Diane asks "Nobody really thinks it will work, do they?" Lloyd, without missing a beat, answers "No. You just described every great success story."

John Cusack Utopia GIF by Amazon Prime VideoGiphy

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