Bong Water, Parking Lot and Cruchwrap Supreme. People are sharing their hilarious cat names.

"The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,

It isn't just one of your holiday games..."

When T.S. Eliot wrote "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats" in 1939, he probably never imagined his poetry would be turned into a delightfully despised musical. And when unsuspecting show-goers witnessed the spectacle of CATS on stage for the first time, they likely had no idea how much of the largely non-existent plot would be about what, why, how cats are named.

Silly, perhaps, but the naming of cats truly is a difficult matter. Cats are bizarro screwballs of the highest order. They start off adorable little puffs purring fur, and evolve into beautiful animal specimens that emanate strength and grace on the one hand and hilarious quirks and personality on the other. How can you possibly choose a name that truly befits such a magnificently weird creature?

You can't. Which is why people end up naming their cats the silliest names they can think of.

On Twitter, Jennifer Xiao posted a simple observation that got a hilarious ball rolling: "Dog owners will pick names like max or bailey and cat owners will literally name their cat beef stroganoff."

Cue the deluge of pretty kitties with shameless names.

Lots of pasta cats out there. How cute is "Wednesday Fettucine"? Come on now.

No shortage of fruit and fruit-flavored names as well.

Rooty tooty fresh and frutiy kitties, all day long.

Who names a cat "Egg"? Several people, apparently. Egg, Eggs, Eggsy.


Green Bean Casserole is a cutie. But the promotion and demotion of Beans is hilarious. "Grand Marshall Beans!"

And yes, someone actually did name their cat Beef Stroganoff. "Strogi" for short.

But food names are just the beginning. It gets so much better.

Meet beautiful baby Bong Water.

And Mozzarella Television.

Hallway. HALL.WAY. People are so magical.

Missy sounds normal enough, until you find out it's short for Missile Launcher.

And then there's Beanbag. Is her middle name Chair? Hope so.

Stinky and Pot Roast are cute. But Astral Projection (to the Nearest Target) might just take the cake.

Someone shared that their friend had named their huge cat Parking Lot. Another had a cat named Beep. Some shared epically long names like Lady Cassandra Johanna Von Mussel Klossowski De Rolo De Conerty II.

One person pointed out that the reason people feel they can name their cats any old random thing is because they never have to call their cats' names in public. Yelling out "BEEF STROGANOFF!" or "BONG WATER!" or "PARKING LOT!" might be a little...awkward.

But of course, unique names are not the domain of cats alone. Check out this person who named their snake Minecraft Creative Mode and who once had a dog whose full name was Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga (2007). (Lego for short.)

Going back to T.S. Eliot, he wrote that every cat has three different names—one everyday name that the family uses, one name that's peculiar and unique even among other cats, and a secret name that only the cat knows and enjoys pondering on occasion:

"When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Deep and inscrutable singular name."

Perhaps that's why we give cats such silly, goofy, laughable names. They have their own cosmic, mysterious name we're never going to know, so why the heck not name them Microsoft Windows or Spam Sandwich or Driveway? They're just going to ignore us when we say it anyway.

All images provided by Bombas

We can all be part of the giving movement


We all know that small acts of kindness can turn into something big, but does that apply to something as small as a pair of socks?

Yes, it turns out. More than you might think.

A fresh pair of socks is a simple comfort easily taken for granted for most, but for individuals experiencing homelessness—they are a rare commodity. Currently, more than 500,000 people in the U.S. are experiencing homelessness on any given night. Being unstably housed—whether that’s couch surfing, living on the streets, or somewhere in between—often means rarely taking your shoes off, walking for most if not all of the day, and having little access to laundry facilities. And since shelters are not able to provide pre-worn socks due to hygienic reasons, that very basic need is still not met, even if some help is provided. That’s why socks are the #1 most requested clothing item in shelters.

homelessness, bombasSocks are a simple comfort not everyone has access to

When the founders of Bombas, Dave Heath and Randy Goldberg, discovered this problem, they decided to be part of the solution. Using a One Purchased = One Donated business model, Bombas helps provide not only durable, high-quality socks, but also t-shirts and underwear (the top three most requested clothing items in shelters) to those in need nationwide. These meticulously designed donation products include added features intended to offer comfort, quality, and dignity to those experiencing homelessness.

Over the years, Bombas' mission has grown into an enormous movement, with more than 75 million items donated to date and a focus on providing support and visibility to the organizations and people that empower these donations. These are the incredible individuals who are doing the hard work to support those experiencing —or at risk of—homelessness in their communities every day.

Folks like Shirley Raines, creator of Beauty 2 The Streetz. Every Saturday, Raines and her team help those experiencing homelessness on Skid Row in Los Angeles “feel human” with free makeovers, haircuts, food, gift bags and (thanks to Bombas) fresh socks. 500 pairs, every week.

beauty 2 the streetz, skid row laRaines is out there helping people feel their beautiful best

Or Director of Step Forward David Pinson in Cincinnati, Ohio, who offers Bombas donations to those trying to recover from addiction. Launched in 2009, the Step Forward program encourages participation in community walking/running events in order to build confidence and discipline—two major keys to successful rehabilitation. For each marathon, runners are outfitted with special shirts, shoes—and yes, socks—to help make their goals more achievable.

step forward, helping homelessness, homeless non profitsRunning helps instill a sense of confidence and discipline—two key components of successful recovery

Help even reaches the Front Street Clinic of Juneau, Alaska, where Casey Ploof, APRN, and David Norris, RN give out free healthcare to those experiencing homelessness. Because it rains nearly 200 days a year there, it can be very common for people to get trench foot—a very serious condition that, when left untreated, can require amputation. Casey and Dave can help treat trench foot, but without fresh, clean socks, the condition returns. Luckily, their supply is abundant thanks to Bombas. As Casey shared, “people will walk across town and then walk from the valley just to come here to get more socks.”

step forward clinic, step forward alaska, homelessness alaskaWelcome to wild, beautiful and wet Alaska!

The Bombas Impact Report provides details on Bombas’s mission and is full of similar inspiring stories that show how the biggest acts of kindness can come from even the smallest packages. Since its inception in 2013, the company has built a network of over 3,500 Giving Partners in all 50 states, including shelters, nonprofits and community organizations dedicated to supporting our neighbors who are experiencing- or at risk- of homelessness.

Their success has proven that, yes, a simple pair of socks can be a helping hand, an important conversation starter and a link to humanity.

You can also be a part of the solution. Learn more and find the complete Bombas Impact Report by clicking here.

via UNSW

This article originally appeared on 07.10.21

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14 things that will remain fun no matter how old you get

Your inner child will thank you for doing at least one of these.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Swings can turn 80-year-olds into 8-year-olds in less that two seconds.

When we’re kids, fun comes so easily. You have coloring books and team sports and daily recess … so many opportunities to laugh, play and explore. As we get older, these activities get replaced by routine and responsibility (and yes, at times, survival). Adulthood, yuck.

Many of us want to have more fun, but making time for it still doesn’t come as easily as it did when we were kids—whether that’s because of guilt, a long list of other priorities or because we don’t feel it’s an age-appropriate thing to long for.

Luckily, we’ve come to realize that fun isn’t just a luxury of childhood, but really a vital aspect of living well—like reducing stress, balancing hormone levels and even improving relationships.

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