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An old woman holding a cane.

Death is the last great mystery that all of us face. We don’t know when we will go or can really be sure what comes next. So there’s understandably a lot of fear and uncertainty that most of us feel around death, whether we’re thinking about ourselves or a loved one. That’s why Julie McFadden's work is so important. As a palliative care nurse in the Los Angeles area, who has seen over a hundred people die, her TikTok videos shed light on the process to make us all a bit more comfortable with the inevitable.

McFadden is also the author of the bestseller, “Nothing to Fear.” The nurse’s experience helping people in their final stages has given her a unique perspective on the process. In a recent video, she shared how she can see the first symptoms that someone is going to die a natural death about 6 months before they finally do.

Interestingly, she can determine that someone only has half a year left to live when most of us have no idea they have entered the final stages of life.

@hospicenursejulie

Replying to @Mariah educating yourself about scary topics will help decrease fear. ✨Nothing to Fear ✨- my book- out june 11th #hospicenursejulie #hospicenurse #caregiversoftiktok #medicaltiktok #learnontiktok #nothingtofearbook

What are the symptoms of dying at the 6-month mark?

McFadden adds that people who are dying are usually placed in hospice care when the symptoms begin to appear around the 6-month mark.

"You will have very generalized symptoms. Those symptoms will usually be, one, you will be less social. So you'll be more introverted than extroverted," McFadden said. "Two, you will be sleeping a lot more. And three, you will be eating and drinking a lot less. Literally, everyone on hospice, I see this happen to."

heaven, clouds, ray of lightA Ray of light over a mountain. via PIxbay/Pexels



What are the symptoms of dying at the 3-month mark?

You are going to notice more debility,” McFadden continues. “They will be staying in their house most of the time. It's going to be difficult getting up and just going to the bathroom. Again, sleeping a lot more and eating and drinking a lot less.”

What are the symptoms of dying at the 1-month mark?

Something usually begins to happen in the final month of someone’s life. They start to believe they are in contact with others they have lost. It’s like they are there to make the dying person feel comfortable with their final transition.

"Usually around the one month mark is when people will start seeing 'the unseen', they have the visioning. They'll be seeing dead relatives, dead loved ones, dead pets, old friends who have died,” McFadden said. “Again, not everyone — but many, many people will start seeing these things at around one month."

heaven, death, trumpetAn angel with a trumpet.via PixaBay/Pexels

Angela Morrow, a registered nurse at Verywell Health, agrees that people in the final stage of life often hear from those who have passed before them. Morrow says we should refrain from correcting the patients when they share their stories of talking to people and pets who have died. "You might feel frustrated because you can't know for sure whether they're hallucinating, having a spiritual experience, or just getting confused. The uncertainty can be unsettling, but it's part of the process," Morrow writes.

At the end of the video, McFadden says that the most important factors palliative care nurses look at to determine the stage of death are eating, drinking and sleeping. “Most people, a few weeks out from death, will be sleeping more than they are awake. And they will be barely eating and barely drinking,” McFadden said.

i.giphy.com

In the end, hospice nurses “allow the body to be the guide” as they help their patients transition from life to death.

McFadden’s work has brought a lot of peace to her followers as they go through trying times. "My mom is in hospice right now and she’s currently, I think, hours or days from death. YourTikToks have helped me out tremendously," Deb wrote. "My grandma passed away in February, and she experienced all of this. this page brings me peace knowing everything she went through was natural," Jaida added.

"Thanks, Julie. I volunteer in a hospice end-of-life facility, and this helps educate the families. Your posts are wonderful," Grandma Nita wrote.

One of the things that makes death so scary is the number of unknowns surrounding the process. That’s why it’s so important that McFadden shares her stories of helping people to the next side. She shows that death is a natural process and that hospice nurses are here to help make the transition as peaceful as possible.

This article originally appeared last year.

Hospice nurse Julie on TikTok.

Watching a loved one die is difficult, confusing, terrifying and heartbreaking. They transform before our eyes, unrecognizably. In turn, our faces are no longer familiar to them. The entire experience can leave us feeling powerless to help.

Hospice workers provide an incredible service to humanity by making this process less painful. And they do it with great kindness and compassion.

Julie is a hospice nurse in California. In her five years doing this, she has helped a lot of patients maintain a quality life in their final weeks and months before having a peaceful death. She's also educated a lot of families about what to expect during the transition, in an attempt to make it a little less daunting. According to Julie, that's the best part of the job.

Julie decided to share her expertise on TikTok, where her insights could reach a wider audience.


"I knew I had a lot of interesting information about death and dying that most people don't know about. I want to normalize death by educating people about it. I went home to visit my family, and my tween nieces were on TikTok making dance videos. I later went on TikTok to see their dances. This gave me the idea of starting my own TikTok about death and dying," she told The Sun.

The idea caught on quickly. Julie soon racked up more than 400,000 followers, with millions of views for multiple videos. Clearly she had some valuable knowledge.

In one of her videos, she explains how many of the death processes we find morbid, are actually quite normal. Changes in breathing, skin color, fevers … all normal. Messy, but normal. Even the "death rattle," despite its scary name, is very natural, as the brain is no longer able to tell the throat to swallow saliva. "Terminal secretions," she calls it.

@hospicenursejulie #hospicenursejulie #nurse #learnontiktok #ForzaHorizon5GO #nursesoftiktok ♬ original sound - 💕 Hospice nurse Julie 💕

Julie also discusses the "rallying" phenomenon, where a terminal person seems to make a swift recovery—even regaining an appetite and bouncing back to a personality—before ultimately passing within a few days, or sooner. She explains that, where no one knows exactly why this happens, she always informs her patients and families so they're not caught off guard. I cannot imagine the anguish people go through who do not know this.

@hospicenursejulie #hospicenursejulie #nurse #learnontiktok #nursesoftiktok ♬ original sound - 💕 Hospice nurse Julie 💕

One person asked, "Does knowing all of this in depth make death less scary for you?" To which Julie simply replied "Yes–I'm not scared at all."

Natural death, Julie says, is not uncomfortable. Because many people die from accidents or diseases, we tend to equate death with suffering, but that does not have to be the case. In fact, Julie shares about people seeing angels, even loved ones who have passed. Often they manage to say "I love you" right before death.

@hospicenursejulie Reply to @spymylittleye #greenscreen #hospicenursejulie#angel #LevisMusicProject #nurse #learnontikrok ♬ original sound - 💕 Hospice nurse Julie 💕

Hospice care is undervalued, at best. And at worst, it can be demonized, as many buy into the myth that hospice companies make money off of killing patients (another notion Julie politely debunks). This is what makes her channel truly special. Julie makes death—the ultimate unknown—a little less frightening with the power of education and empathy. It's something she does on a day-to-day basis. But now we all can benefit.


You can check out even more of Julie's videos on TikTok, under her handle @hospicenursejuile

via Evergreen Hospice Volunteers / Facebook

Hospice nurses seem to come from the heavens. It's a job that requires a big heart, the strength to deal with death on a daily basis, and in-depth medical and nursing training.

Five years ago, Leigh Gardner performed a small miracle for a man that made one of his last days on Earth one of his best

Edward Reis, 62, was an ex-forest ranger with multiple sclerosis and had been in hospice care for years. His caregivers became a surrogate family for Reis who didn't have much family in the area.


A few weeks before his death, his chaplain Curt Huber asked him if he had any final wishes. Reis said he'd love to go back to the forest where he worked.

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Huber and Gardner, a nurse at Evergreen Health Hospice in Washington state, came together and created a plan that would allow Reis to make one last "walk" through the trees. The only problem was that Reis was bedridden and couldn't ride in a wheelchair, let alone walk through the forest.

So they contacted the Snohomish County Fire Department and they hopped into action.

The firefighters picked up Reis in a firetruck and took him to the lush forest of Puget Sound. They then rolled him on a gurney through the rocky terrain, stopping him by the creek so he could hear the water, and picking pieces of bark and putting it to his nose for one last inhale of one of his favorite scent.

"He was just smiling the whole time … saying he was so happy," Gardner told ABC News.

"The wheels of a gurney are like a shopping cart, so very small wheels on a trail -- and it wasn't like one of those little running trails at all, it was like a hiking trail ... and we would stop every so often and he would just sit and listen," Gardner continued. "And you know I went over to him and I said, 'Are you happy?' He's like, 'I'm so happy.'"

RELATED: New research shows that children who grow up near nature become happier adults

The trip to Puget Sound was therapeutic for the firefighters as well. The men had recently been in Oso, Washington recovering bodies from a landslide that killed 43 people.

"We saw a lot of bad things up there in Oslo, and this was a time to just watch somebody at the end of their life enjoy what they could," he said of Reis' trip. "It felt good inside to help him and to watch his face. The payment was in his expression when he was out there."

With his final wish granted, Reis passed away a few weeks later.

"We kind of were his family in the end," Gardner said, adding that she missed him. "For the first couple of weeks after he'd passed away I was like, 'It's so weird not going three times a week and working so hard to take care of him.' It felt a little odd. So I miss his presence and just, you know, he was a gentle, gentle soul."

One can be sure the forest misses him, too.


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