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Hospice nurse shares one comforting sign that someone is going to die within 4 weeks

'Visioning' is often a great comfort to people who may be scared of death.

via Canva Photos

A nurse explains how 'visioning' 3-4 weeks before death works.

Death is the final mystery that we all must face and it’s natural to be scared about going through the process. Experts say a few things can help, including using our fear to live a purposeful life and even making jokes, or using 'gallows humor'. One bit of good news is that we tend to get a little bit less afraid of death as we age. But in general, it helps to not shy away from death completely. Learning and talking about it is actually a good thing.

A new video by a hospice nurse shows an excellent reason for people to feel comfortable facing the unknown. Julie McFadden posts videos helping to demystify the dying process and bring comfort to people with a loved one in hospice care, or who may be dying themselves. Her profile reads, "Helping understand death to live better and die better." McFadden is also the author of the bestselling book, “Nothing to Fear.”

Hospice Nurse Julie has earned over half a million subscribers and has witnessed over a hundred deaths. In a recent video, she reveals that people are often comforted by friends and relatives who have passed away in their final days.

She says that when people begin experiencing these visions, it’s a sign that they will be passing away within a few weeks.

"Here's one sign that someone is close to death that most people don't believe happens,” Julie begins the video.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"Usually a few weeks to a month before someone dies, if they're on hospice, they will start seeing dead loved ones, dead relatives, dead pets. This happens so often that we actually put it in our educational packets that we give to patients and their families when they come on hospice so they aren't surprised or scared when it happens,” she continues.

The experience is called visioning; although no one knows how or why it happens, it’s common among all her patients.

"We don't know why it happens, but we see it in definitely more than half of our patients," she continues.

People often believe that the visions are caused by a lack of oxygen to the brain. However, Julie says that isn’t true. “Because when it does happen, most people are alert and oriented and are at least a month from death, so they don't have low oxygen," she said.

The good news is that the visioning experience is almost always comforting for those who are nearing the end.


death, dying, hospice, fear of dying, hospice nurse, mortality, aging, seniors, spirituality, visionsDying patients may be visited 3-4 weeks before death by loved ones, deceased spouses, or even dead pets. Photo by Anirudh on Unsplash

It often involves relatives who 'come from the other side' to let them know everything will be okay and encourage them to let go and pass away. People also experience being taken on journeys with loved ones or having sensory experiences from the past, such as smelling their grandmother's perfume or father’s cigar.

These visitors can also appear several at a time. Patients might report the room feeling 'crowded' like they are being joined by many people at once. It's possible they may be visited by 'spirits' or people they don't know, though that's less common.

Christopher Kerr, a CEO of Hospice & Palliative Care, an organization that provides palliative care in Buffalo, New York, says that the relatives that often appear in these visions are people who protected and comforted the dying parent when they were alive. So, they may see a parent who nurtured them but not one they feared.

Kerr has extensively studied the mysterious phenomena that happen when people die but has no real explanation for why the visioning experience happens. “I have witnessed cases where what I was seeing was so profound, and the meaning for the patient was so clear and precise, that I almost felt like an intruder,” he told BBC Brazil. “And trying to decipher the etiology, the cause, seemed futile. I concluded that it was simply important to have reverence, that the fact that I could not explain the origin and process did not invalidate the experience for the patient.”

In a more in-depth video, Hospice Nurse Julie shares a real video of a dying woman experience visioning. It's extremely powerful:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Again, experts agree that once your loved one begins experiencing these visions, it's likely that they will pass on in the next 3-4 weeks. Remember that they are not a symptom to be treated or a concern to be addressed, as long as they aren't causing distress. They are simply a comforting sign of things to come.

It's comforting to know that for many, the final days of life may not be filled with pain and fear but instead with a sense of peace and joy. While we may never fully understand the reasons behind these mysterious visions, if they bring calm during such a daunting time, we can simply be grateful for their presence. They’re kind of like life, in general. In the end, we may not really know what it was all about, but we can be happy that it happened.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Volunteer uses her incredible singing voice to comfort dying patient on 'final journey home'

The woman requested her and her husband's favorite song, "The Power of Love."

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What a beautiful way to show up for others.

There's something really magical about what music does to our brains. Have you ever found yourself remembering a commercial jingle you haven't heard in decades? Or have you ever wondered why you can't remember what you ate yesterday but you can recite the lyrics of thousands of songs on-demand without even thinking?

If you've ever seen the end of the 2017 Disney movie Coco, you also know that music can trigger memories, emotions, a boost of energy, and even joy in people who are otherwise nearly unresponsive or have lost much of their will to go on. And if you're thinking that was just an incredibly emotional moment in a sweet movie, it's true; science backs it up. That makes it an amazing and mysterious therapeutic tool in medical settings, and an incredible way to comfort people who may be scared or confused.


gif from the movie CocoMiguel and Mama Coco from Coco.Giphy

Yvon Kanters, a social worker, has been volunteering in nursing homes for years. She has gone viral for her incredible interactions with patients, where she uses her beautiful voice to connect with them and bring them joy in dark moments.

In one recent video, Kanters is shown riding in the back of an ambulance with a woman on a stretcher. The woman is a cancer patient who had just been told by doctors that there was no further treatment available. This would be her last ride home from the hospital. Kanters volunteered to come along and sing the woman a song for comfort.

"When we walked into the room, she was there with her husband and was very optimistic, she was very full of life," Kanters told Newsweek. "We brought her to the ambulance and then asked her, 'I'm a singer and I'm coming along for the day, is there something you want to hear?' She and her husband, they love each other—their love is so visible. She said she and her husband's song was 'The Power of Love.'"

"The Power of Love," of course, is the hit single by Jennifer Rush from 1984. The next year year, it became the number one song in the UK. A cover by Celine Dion years later made it the biggest song in the US. It's an incredibly romantic song, and it speaks volumes about the woman's life that she would choose to hear it at this moment.

"As I sang, I saw tears well up in her eyes. A song that held so much more meaning than just words and melody. After this moment, we continued with a small, intimate living room concert... one that will stay in my heart forever," Kanters said.

Watch the incredible moment here:

@yvonkanters

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗣𝗢𝗪𝗘𝗥 𝗢𝗙 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 | 𝗠𝗲𝗲 𝗼𝗽 𝗱𝗲 𝗮𝗺𝗯𝘂𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝘁 𝗭𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗔𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗮 Sommige ontmoetingen blijven je altijd bij. Gisteren zong ik voor een bijzondere vrouw, een vechter vol levenslust. Ze werd door Zuster Anita van de middencomplex ambulance naar huis gebracht om haar laatste tijd met haar geliefden door te brengen. Geen spoedrit, maar een rit vol betekenis. Ze hield van álle muziek, maar toen ik vroeg of ze een speciaal liedje had samen met haar man, hoefde ze niet na te denken: "The Power of Love." Terwijl ik zong, zag ik de tranen in haar ogen verschijnen. Een lied dat zoveel meer betekende dan alleen muziek. Na dit moment deden we nog een klein huiskamerconcert.. een herinnering die voor altijd zal blijven. Dankjewel Zuster Anita, en dankjewel aan deze prachtige vrouw voor het delen van dit bijzondere moment. Liefde is de kracht die blijft. 💛✨ #ThePowerOfLove #AmbulanceZorg #MiddencomplexAmbulance #MuziekVerbindt #LiefdeEnVerbinding #MuziekInDeZorg #Muziektherapie #YvonKanters ______________________________ 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗣𝗢𝗪𝗘𝗥 𝗢𝗙 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 | 𝗢𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗺𝗯𝘂𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗡𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲 𝗔𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗮 Some encounters stay with you forever. Yesterday, I sang for a remarkable woman, an fighter full of life. She was being transported home by Nurse Anita and the mid-complex ambulance, a service for patients who need medical supervision but no emergency care. No sirens, but a journey filled with meaning. She loved all kinds of music, but when I asked if she had a special song with her husband, she didn’t hesitate: "The Power of Love." As I sang, I saw tears well up in her eyes. A song that held so much more meaning than just words and melody. After this moment, we continued with a small, intimate living room concert.. one that will stay in my heart forever. Thank you, Nurse Anita, and thank you to this beautiful woman for sharing this moment with me. Love is the power that never fades. 💛✨ #ThePowerOfLove #AmbulanceCare #MidComplexAmbulance #MusicUnites #HealingThroughMusic #MusicTherapy #YvonKanters

Over four million people watched the video and couldn't get enough of the kindness and compassion on display.

Commenters were absolutely stunned:

"It’s the most beautiful thing I saw today"

"this needs a warning, I'm at work crying"

"oh my god what a wonderful way to go"

"The look of love, care and compassion in this young lady’s eyes for her fellow human - beautiful"

"former hospice nurse here.. I absolutely love this!"

Music is an amazing tool for patients who are near death or suffering from severe dementia. It lives in parts of the brain that are usually less affected by Alzheimer's and dementia, often making music memories the last "to go" as brain function and bodily systems fail.

Even younger people with great memory loss have been shown to remember how to play music or sing lyrics or even dance despite not knowing the names of their loved ones. This phenomenon, crucially, is not just a novelty. It's a proven tool that caregivers use to connect with their patients. Studies show that mood and engagement actually improves in patients after hearing and interacting with music, not just during.

Live music, too, carries a special power. Having a real human being singing to you stimulates the brain more powerfully than listening to recorded music does, forming a unique connection between performer and audience that a speaker can't replicate.

@yvonkanters

AVE MARIA | Rudy (English below) Ik ben net zo fan van Rudy als jullie! Daarom wil ik dit prachtige gebed ook laten horen. Rudy heeft in zijn leven veel steun gehad aan muziek. Het was zijn manier van communiceren naar de buitenwereld. Het is een manier van luisteren en antwoorden op elkaar. Dat vind ik ook heel duidelijk te zien aan hem. Hij luistert zo bijzonder goed naar het notenbeeld en wat er gaat komen. Daarop reageert hij weer. Het is een dans van woorden in het Latijn. Een prachtige verbinding en kippenvel. Dank Rudy ♥️ #zingen #dementie #liefde #zorg #fyp #viral #avemaria #gounod #muziektherapie #muziek ———————— AVE MARIA | Rudy I'm just as much of a fan of Rudy as you are! That's why I want to share this beautiful prayer. Rudy has had a lot of support from music in his life. It was his way of communicating to the outside world. It is a way of listening and responding to each other. I think that is very clear in him. He listens very well to the notes and what is to come. He then responds again. It is a dance of words in Latin. A beautiful connection and goosebumps for me. Bless his soul♥️ #singing #dementia #love #care #fyp #viral #avemaria #gounod #musictherapy #music

In another clip from Kanters, she sings "Ave Maria" to an elderly man with dementia who miraculously perks up and even manages to sing along. It's incredible to watch, and it demonstrates that we're really just beginning to scratch the surface when it comes to the power of music as a therapeutic tool.

But for now, it's just amazing and heartwarming to watch a beautiful moment between a volunteer artist and someone in need.

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Hospice nurse shares clue she uses to know if someone is dying 6 months before it happens

"Allow the body to be the guide."

via Sabinevanerp/Pixabay

An old woman holding a cane.

Death is the last great mystery that all of us face. We don’t know when we will go or can really be sure what comes next. So there’s understandably a lot of fear and uncertainty that most of us feel around death, whether we’re thinking about ourselves or a loved one. That’s why Julie McFadden's work is so important. As a palliative care nurse in the Los Angeles area, who has seen over a hundred people die, her TikTok videos shed light on the process to make us all a bit more comfortable with the inevitable.

McFadden is also the author of the bestseller, “Nothing to Fear.” The nurse’s experience helping people in their final stages has given her a unique perspective on the process. In a recent video, she shared how she can see the first symptoms that someone is going to die a natural death about 6 months before they finally do.

Interestingly, she can determine that someone only has half a year left to live when most of us have no idea they have entered the final stages of life.

@hospicenursejulie

Replying to @Mariah educating yourself about scary topics will help decrease fear. ✨Nothing to Fear ✨- my book- out june 11th #hospicenursejulie #hospicenurse #caregiversoftiktok #medicaltiktok #learnontiktok #nothingtofearbook

What are the symptoms of dying at the 6-month mark?

McFadden adds that people who are dying are usually placed in hospice care when the symptoms begin to appear around the 6-month mark.

"You will have very generalized symptoms. Those symptoms will usually be, one, you will be less social. So you'll be more introverted than extroverted," McFadden said. "Two, you will be sleeping a lot more. And three, you will be eating and drinking a lot less. Literally, everyone on hospice, I see this happen to."

heaven, clouds, ray of lightA Ray of light over a mountain. via PIxbay/Pexels



What are the symptoms of dying at the 3-month mark?

You are going to notice more debility,” McFadden continues. “They will be staying in their house most of the time. It's going to be difficult getting up and just going to the bathroom. Again, sleeping a lot more and eating and drinking a lot less.”

What are the symptoms of dying at the 1-month mark?

Something usually begins to happen in the final month of someone’s life. They start to believe they are in contact with others they have lost. It’s like they are there to make the dying person feel comfortable with their final transition.

"Usually around the one month mark is when people will start seeing 'the unseen', they have the visioning. They'll be seeing dead relatives, dead loved ones, dead pets, old friends who have died,” McFadden said. “Again, not everyone — but many, many people will start seeing these things at around one month."

heaven, death, trumpetAn angel with a trumpet.via PixaBay/Pexels

Angela Morrow, a registered nurse at Verywell Health, agrees that people in the final stage of life often hear from those who have passed before them. Morrow says we should refrain from correcting the patients when they share their stories of talking to people and pets who have died. "You might feel frustrated because you can't know for sure whether they're hallucinating, having a spiritual experience, or just getting confused. The uncertainty can be unsettling, but it's part of the process," Morrow writes.

At the end of the video, McFadden says that the most important factors palliative care nurses look at to determine the stage of death are eating, drinking and sleeping. “Most people, a few weeks out from death, will be sleeping more than they are awake. And they will be barely eating and barely drinking,” McFadden said.

i.giphy.com

In the end, hospice nurses “allow the body to be the guide” as they help their patients transition from life to death.

McFadden’s work has brought a lot of peace to her followers as they go through trying times. "My mom is in hospice right now and she’s currently, I think, hours or days from death. YourTikToks have helped me out tremendously," Deb wrote. "My grandma passed away in February, and she experienced all of this. this page brings me peace knowing everything she went through was natural," Jaida added.

"Thanks, Julie. I volunteer in a hospice end-of-life facility, and this helps educate the families. Your posts are wonderful," Grandma Nita wrote.

One of the things that makes death so scary is the number of unknowns surrounding the process. That’s why it’s so important that McFadden shares her stories of helping people to the next side. She shows that death is a natural process and that hospice nurses are here to help make the transition as peaceful as possible.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Chaplain who comforted thousands of dying people reveals their most common regret

It's a great lesson that we could all learn from.

via Tampa General Hospital and Canva/Photos

Chaplain J.S. Park and a man on his deathbed.

The regrets of the dying are tragedies for those who are leaving this world. However, for the living, they can be valuable lessons on how to live a happy and meaningful life that benefits others. That way, when we reach the end, we can do so peacefully, knowing that we got the most out of this one lifetime.

Joon Park, who goes by J.S. Park on social media, is a chaplain at Tampa General Hospital who describes himself as a “grief catcher” and is the author of “As Long as You Need: Permission to Grieve.” He has sat at the bedsides of thousands of people who are in the process of passing away, and that’s given him a very unique perspective on life. He knows the greatest gift to give to the dying is listening so they can feel heard before they leave this world.

What’s the biggest regret of the dying?

He told CNN that in his conversations with the dying, there is one regret that he hears the most: “I only did what everyone else wanted, not what I wanted.”

“Many of us near the end realize we were not able to fully be ourselves in life – we had to hide to survive,” he continued. “It was not always our fault. Sometimes, our resources, the systems, and culture around us did not allow us to. My hope is always to fully see and hear this patient, who is now finally free. ”

dying, hospice, j.s. parkA man in the final moments of his life.via Canva/Photos

It must feel terrible to walk through life feeling like a square peg in a round hole, having a job you don’t like, a spouse who doesn’t understand you, or having to live up to standards that you didn’t create. It’s upsetting that many people experience this, and Park’s advice reminds us to ask ourselves a serious question: Am I living my life or the life someone else has chosen for me?

Park said that people's most common fear towards the end of their lives is whether their loved ones will be okay after they’re gone.

“Will my loved ones be OK without me? Who will look after Mom? Who will take my dad to the doctor? How will my son and daughter get along without me? Even my patients who are most at peace with their dying are still anxious about how their own death will affect their family,” he says. The fear shows that even when people are ready to leave this world, they never stop caring for those closest to them.

“This is almost an empathic anticipatory grief, experiencing the grief of the other person’s future loss. We are so connected that often we worry about how other people will be affected by our own death,” Park said.


How to know if you're living your own life

How do we know if we are living our own life and not that of others? It’s a big question, but according to Follow Your Own Rythm, a great place to start is to stop letting fear or society’s expectations dictate your path. Instead, express yourself freely, follow your passions, live by your core values, and spend time with yourself, touching base with your thoughts and feelings. You’ll know you’re living your life when it begins to feel more harmonious and authentic.

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