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More than optimism: How to cultivate the world-changing power of hope

Optimism is a mindset. Hope is an action-oriented skill—and one that can be honed.

Hope is a skill.

Hope can be hard to find in tough times, and even when we catch a glimmer of hope, it can be hard to hold onto. And yet, the ability to remain hopeful in the face of hardship and adversity is an example of the human spirit we've seen displayed time and time again.

But what exactly is hope? How does hope differ from optimism, and how can we cultivate more of it in our lives?

Cynics may see hope as naive at best and as blind idealism at worst, but according to Thema Bryant, PhD, former president of the American Psychological Association, hope is really about staying open to the possibilities.

“Hope isn’t a denial of what is, but a belief that the current situation is not all that can be,” Bryant said, according to the APA. You can recognize something’s wrong, but also that it’s not the end of the story.”


People often think of hope and optimism as the same thing, but there are some key differences between them in the social psychology world. Optimism is a state of mind that sees the future through a positive lens and expects that it will be better than the present. Hope, on the other hand, is action-oriented. It involves having a goal for that positive future and making a concrete plan to move toward it.

“We often use the word ‘hope’ in place of wishing, like you hope it rains today or you hope someone’s well,” said Chan Hellman, PhD, a professor of psychology and founding director of University of Oklahoma's Hope Research Center. “But wishing is passive toward a goal, and hope is about taking action toward it.”

That sense of personal agency is the key difference between someone who is optimistic and someone who is hopeful, as the authors of the study, "Great expectations: A meta-analytic examination of optimism and hope," Gene M. Alarcon, Nathan A. Bowling and Steven Khazon wrote:

"Simply put, the optimistic person believes that somehow—either through luck, the actions of others, or one’s own actions—that his or her future will be successful and fulfilling. The hopeful person, on the other hand, believes specifically in his or her own capability for securing a successful and fulfilling future."

Both hope and optimism require a belief in a better future, but hope puts some of the power to make it happen into our own hands. And while hope and optimism are closely linked, they don't necessarily have to go together. As Arthur Brooks has pointed out, a person can be a hopeless optimist, believing in a better future but feeling helpless to do anything to create it, and a person can also be a hopeful pessimist who takes actions to improve things but still sees the future negatively.

Ideally, one would strive toward being an hopeful optimist. Why? Well, for one, both hope and optimism are good for our health, according to studies done on them. And secondly, hope is what motivates us to act. Without hope, we have a whole lot of people wishing for change but not actually doing anything about it.

But how do you become more hopeful if it doesn't come naturally? How do you hone hope?

An article on Psyche by Emily Esfahani Smith shared study findings on how to cultivate hope, which includes:

- Changing the story you tell yourself about adversity, remembering that hard times are temporary

- Focusing on the things you have control over, like your routines, habits and the way you treat other people

- Reframing obstacles as challenges to overcome rather than immovable limitations

- Looking to your past successes instead of your past failures

- Asking yourself what you hope for and then continuing to answer until you find an attainable goal

- Envisioning that goal and mapping out a plan to move towards it

Being hopeful about your own future may feel like a different beast than having hope in humanity's future, but we all have a role to play in creating a better world and hope is the driver strives to make it happen. As Augustine of Hippo allegedly said, "Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are Anger and Courage. Anger at the way things are, and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are." If we find ourselves angry at the way things are, we need to find the courage to act. The question of what actions to take may remain, but we need the belief and conviction to act that hope provides in order to figure it out.

Most importantly to remember is that hope is a choice. It may not come naturally or easily to everyone, but hope is something we can choose to nurture in ourselves as well as encourage in others.

klem528/Reddit via Upworthy/Instagram (left), Photo by charlesdeluvio on Unsplash (right)

A small act of kindness can make a big difference.

No matter who we are or where we live, we all have occasional bad days—and it can be surprising how quickly someone's words or actions can make your day worse or better.

A woman shared a story on Reddit that showcases how one small and simple act of kindness can have a big lasting impact, prompting others to share their own stories.

Reddit user klem528 explained that she was "having a day" and crying in her car as she pulled into a frozen yogurt store parking lot one day.

"I caught a glimpse of a teenage girl and dad in the car next to me while I was crying," she wrote. "When I came back after eating the fro you, their car was gone but this was in my door handle."

The photo shows a $10 bill with a note bedecked with hearts that reads, "Your fro-yo is on us. We hope tomorrow is a better day."

People loved the example of strangers taking the time and money to help a fellow human being feel a little less alone and began sharing their own stories of random kindnesses.

"I was at the self checkout at Walmart a few months back. This mother and her child id seen a couple times were checking out. Her son was a saint. The whole time, he would help her grab stuff off shelves. Was very polite to other people in the store if they were in his way.

Anyway, they're checking out, and he had this toy and his mother apologized and told him she couldn't get it. The kid seemed upset about it, but went and took it to the woman over the self checkout.

As he was walking back, a girl who was still checking out asked for it, and bought it for him. Took it over to him, and this kid burst into tears and thanked her. The woman who bought it asked if he'd be good for his mom, and this poor kid was choking back more tears, shaking his head yes. The mother also choking back tears a bit and thanked her.

It made my heart warm that day. I've tried to do little acts of kindness more since then." – Shawnessy

"One day, I was on my way home with a friend when I was stopped at the pump by a young woman who was nearly hysterical, dressed up and shaking her hands out. 'Please, please do you have $5? I haven’t had a job in months, I’m on my way to an interview, and I need just enough gas to get there. Please?'

I filled her tank as full as it could go. I got back in the car after her thanks and watching her speed away, and my friend says, without even looking up from her phone, 'Know you just got taken for a ride, don’t you? She probably didn’t have an interview.'

But I just shrugged and said, 'But maybe she did.' I think about her often. Maybe I did lose $30. But maybe I helped a young mother (saw the car seat in her back) find a job and provide for her family. Either way, I did it because I wanted to help someone, and it’s on them if they lied. The world might be a lot nicer if we stopped assuming everyone’s out to get us. – KaythuluCrewe

"Last summer my best friend in the whole world and I had a complete falling out. I was sobbing in the Starbucks drive thru a few days later, I was feeling miserable and the woman in front of me payed for my drink and told the barista to tell me it’ll get better 😭😭 I cried.

There really are good people out there. I hope tomorrow is better xo" – haleymichal

"I once went into Starbucks and I was having such a hard day, my uncle died, boyfriend and I broke up, work was being really hard on me. I couldn’t hold back my tears when I went to order and the barista gave it to me for free. I’ve never been so grateful for such a small, kind gesture on a terrible day. I’ve never forgot it and I doubt I ever will. Small acts of kindness matter." – venusdances

"I went to Chick-fil-A the morning after my husband passed away to get my daughter something to eat. The girl taking my order said, “you look like you need a hug. Can I hug you?” I sobbed in that girl’s arms for a solid 5 min. Another employee routed cars to the other lane, and she kept telling me, “who cares about those cars, it’s about you right now.” I will never forget the kindness of this young lady who couldn’t have been older than 18-19, did not know my circumstance. She just made it her mission to comfort me that day. ❤️😪" – beachbaby5

"I was in Lowe’s the first Mother’s Day after losing my own mom to buy plants for my garden. I was so late to checkout inside that the registers were closed. I apologized and said it wasn’t the best day. Not only did they open a register for me, but the cashier went in the back and brought me a gift bag full of candy that they gave to all employees who were moms that day. I will never forget her face or her kindness." – carpalmieri

"I lost my dog 7 months ago. I’m very sad and having a really hard time. I went to the park we always visited for our fifteen years together. I was walking and crying behind my sunglasses. I was with my other dog ( she is having a really hard time too). A lady passed by and stopped me to ask about my dog and pet her. As I was answering, she asked if I was ok, because my voice was shaky. I said I was so sorry I was just thinking about my dog that passed away and really miss him, but that that we go there to feel him close, it was his favorite place. She started crying and hugged me, and told me I was a good dog mother. Small acts are HUGE for the ones in need. I needed that hug. 💜" – delphinacoscia

On one of the very worst days I can remember in years, my partner and I pulled over on a road trip to deal with some bad news. A woman in the parking lot passed two ice cream cones into our car windows. And that memory makes the hard day so much better in the rear view mirror. Kind strangers make the world such a better place ❤️" – neuro_fuzzy

The original poster who posted the story three years ago shared that she still keeps the $10 bill and note in her glove compartment. You just never know how a small act can boost someone's mood and offer a much-needed sense of hope. Imagine the world we could build if we all went out of our way to lift someone's spirits and remind them they're not alone.

If you enjoyed this story and would like to read more like it, check out our new book, "GOOD PEOPLE: Stories From the Best of Humanity," now available for pre-order.



Around 1 a.m. on April 24, semi-truck drivers in the Oak Park area of Michigan received a distress call from area police: An unidentified man was standing on the edge of a local bridge, apparently ready to jump onto the freeway below.

Those drivers then did something amazing. They raced to the scene to help — and lined up their trucks under the bridge, providing a relatively safe landing space should the man jump.



Fortunately, he didn't.

The impressive line-up wasn't a coincidence — the drivers were prepared for exactly this sort of situation.Sgt. Jason Brockdorff of the Huntington Woods Police Department told The Detroit News that the response was something local police and truck drivers had actually trained for. But what was unusual was the sheer number of drivers who responded to the call.

"That's a practice we use if we have a jumper," Brockdorff said. "We try to do it every time, to lessen the distance someone would travel if they were to jump. Fortunately, that didn't happen."

The incident lasted nearly four hours, into the early morning. However, once the trucks were in place, the police were able to more comfortably negotiate with the unidentified man.

Eventually, the man walked off the bridge on his own and is currently receiving medical help.

In a pair of tweets, the local police department called attention to the incident to remind people in similar situations of the importance of seeking mental health services (emphasis mine):

This photo does show the work troopers and local officers do to serve the public. But also in that photo is a man struggling with the decision to take his own life. Please remember help is available through the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
You can also call a loved one, member of the clergy or 911. There are so many people that can help you make the choice to get help and live! It is our hope to never see another photo like this again.

Working together, the police and everyday strangers saved a life.

Ordinary people heeded the call of service to help a fellow person who was struggling. It's a powerful image that's impossible to ignore, and a reminder of humanity at its best.


This article originally appeared on 04.24.18

Ms. Natalie Ringold's lesson in kindness has gone viral.




No matter our age, we all want kindness and respect from our peers. No one enjoys being judged or criticized, and negative comments about our appearance sting even if we don't want them to.

Unfortunately, that doesn't always stop people from pointing out things they think we should change about ourselves. Issues like hair shaming and body shaming are all too common, despite greater awareness of the hurt they cause.

Elementary school teacher Natalie Ringold shared a lesson about this phenomenon, and though it's geared toward kids, it's one a lot of grown-ups could take to heart as well.


Holding a tube of toothpaste, Ms. Ringold explained when it's appropriate to say something about someone's appearance and when it's not.

"If somebody can't change something about themselves in 30 seconds or less," she said, "then you shouldn't be mentioning it to them."

She gave examples of things that do take 30 seconds or less, such as if someone's shoe is untied or they have something stuck to their shirt or their fly is unzipped. For those things, it's okay to tell the person (politely, and in private if it's something that might embarrass them to point out in front of other people) so they can fix it.

But if it's something that would take more than 30 seconds to change or isn't even possible to change, like their hairsytle or hair color or body shape, then that's not something you should comment on.

"Your words have power," Ms. Ringold said. Squeezing toothpaste out of the tube, she explained that when you say something about someone that they can't change in 30 seconds or less, it can be hurtful, and just like toothpaste once it's out of the tube, you can't fully take it back once it's out there.

"You try to apologize, you try to take the words back…and you try to undo what you said, undo what you did. But it's something they couldn't change about themselves, and so it get very messy. You can't totally take those words back. You can't totally fix it."

"Your words have power and your words matter," she said. "If you walk out of this room spreading kindness to the people around you, spreading love to the people around you, that is what truly makes a difference."

Ms. Ringold shared that she does this lesson with her students on the last day of school because she wants them to remember this concept for the rest of their lives. People in the comments were so appreciative of the message for all ages.

"I think many adults need to hear this message!"

"Exactly my thoughts. A lot of adults need to hear this too."

"BLESS YOU!!! As a person who was relentlessly racially harassed as a child, I wish this was taught."

"If they are old enough to be mean on purpose they are old enough to be kind on purpose."

"This should be required viewing for anyone who wants to join social media."

"This made me cry. Can I start my college courses with this?"

"I saw you post this and had this conversation with my 4th graders!! It helped so much!!"

Here's to teachers teaching lessons beyond academics, helping kids learn that their humanity matters just as much as their grades.