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Working mom's viral letter highlights how hard—and controversial—work-life balance can be

Working mom's viral letter highlights how hard—and controversial—work-life balance can be
Hashtag MomFail by Jamie Johnson/Facebook

They say motherhood is a full time job, and as a mom of three, I can attest to that. Especially when kids are little, being a mom is a non-stop marathon of nurturing, feeding, cleaning, organizing, transporting, comforting, counseling, and educating on constantly changing terrain.

Throw in a full-time career on top of that, and WHOA NELLY. The words "tired" and "busy" take on entirely new meanings. People who love their kids and love their work—or who don't love their work but need it financially—often struggle, feeling like their attention and energy are constantly being pulled in two directions.

But that tension between work and family life doesn't make someone a bad employee or a bad parent. It just means there has to be some flexibility and grace on both sides of the equation.

That's what blogger Jamie Johnson was getting at with a letter about what life looks like for her as a working mom. Originally posted on her blog with the title "Mom Guilt: From One Full-Time Working Mom to Another," the letter was picked up by Love What Matters, where it has gone viral.

RELATED: This stay-at-home mom's post about 'not working' has been shared over 400,000 times.

Johnson started by explaining that she's aware of how being a mom of small children can impact her job at the office:

"Please stop judging me for leaving the office at exactly 5 p.m., but my kids are waiting to be picked up from the sitter.

I know I'm missing this meeting, but my kid's preschool graduation is more important.

I know I was late today, but I can't drop the baby off at daycare until 7:45 a.m.

I know I seem distracted, because I am distracted. I have a sick toddler and I am waiting to find out when I can get him into the pediatrician.

I don't want to look exhausted when I show up to the office, but I have been awake since 4:30 a.m. with an inconsolable kid.

I know my eyes look glazed over, but I spent the last 12 hours trying to soothe a baby to sleep.

I didn't mean for my email to seem snippy, but I have a 5-year old who cried this morning because he didn't want to go to school, and I am worried about him.

Yes, I just banged my head against my desk. I received a text message that my kid has pink eye and I have to leave to get him even though this report is almost due.

I know my eyes are very swollen right now. I spent last night crying because I am exhausted, never get to be alone and haven't taken a hot shower in five years.

Sorry that I was short with you, but I spent the last hour arguing with a toddler over the necessity of wearing pants to the babysitter.

I know I am supposed to leave my personal life at the door when I come to the office, but when you are a mom to two small kids, that is hard to do."

Then Johnson thanked the people who have given her grace during the five years she has been a working mom:

"So thank you to everyone who has given me grace over the last five years.

I could probably stand to give myself a little.

Being a full-time working mom with young kids is not easy.

Thank you to every boss who has let me leave for doctor's appointments, unexpected sicknesses, preschool graduations and school lunches.

Thank you to all the people who turned their heads when I was pregnant and had to run out of a meeting to go puke.

Thank you to everyone who has let me know they also had a hard time juggling their work/life/kid balance.

Thank you to the people who ignored my swollen eyes, exhausted face, and the spit-up on my blouse.

Thank you to all the other moms who slay it each and every day and motivate me to keep going.

Thank you to the people who encourage me to keep going even though I can feel defeated at times.

Thank you to all the co-workers who have picked up slack for me because I had to make a quick exit to solve a kid emergency."

Finally, she gave a shout out to the other working moms of the world who are going through the same challenges and who do their best to make it all work:

I know I am not the only working mom in the world, but I am a working mom and I totally understand what you are going through.

I understand you feel like you need to overcompensate because you get to work just on time and leave the minute the clock strikes 5.

I understand when you eat your lunch at your desk because you have to leave early to get a kid from the sitter to the doctor then back to the sitter and then get yourself back to the office in time for your 2 p.m. meeting.

I understand sometimes you show up to work looking like you were attacked by a flock of geese because the kids couldn't find their shoes, you gave someone the wrong color bowl and then forgot to take Sleepy Bear to the babysitter.

I understand you are tired. Exhausted, probably.

But I also understand you are capable and worthy of so much more than you realize sometimes.

You don't have to choose between two worlds that you love. You can have them both. You can have a family and a career. It's not easy, but it is possible.

Yes, the worlds might collide sometimes and make life much more complicated, but it's worth it.

So don't stop. Don't give up. You've got this.

And P.S. – Not everyone is going to understand. And that's OK."

That P.S. at the end is no joke.

Johnson says she's been overwhelmed by the responses she's gotten to her post. "I absolutely adore and love all the support this post is getting," she told Upworthy. "I am floored to be honest. Thanks to all the working moms and dads that have shared their stories with me. It also brought me to realize that I am so lucky to have a flexible employer. And I am extremely thankful for that."

However, she's also received no shortage of negative messages, which is unfortunate but not surprising. Some people genuinely don't understand, either because they have no idea how much having kids impacts your life or because they think her description of her reality makes her sound "entitled."

"Just because I'm a working mom and I leave the office once a month to eat lunch with my kid at school, does not mean I am a bad employee or a slacker," says Johnson. "I work my booty off and work from home, pull late nights, etc. to make sure I am caught up on all work. My boss, who is the CEO of the company, would not be so flexible with me if I wasn't a dependable employee."

Johnson added that people should realize when they leave comments that they do get seen by real people. "I am no way entitled and don't think I am better than anyone else," she says. "Everyone has commitments. I know by putting my life out on the internet for others to see means I am opening it up for commentary, but maybe think twice before tearing someone down without knowing them personally."

RELATED: A dad's viral shower door photo comes with a sweet recognition of his wife's work

I've been a mom for 19 years, and I've seen how nasty the discussions about working mothers can be. Some people don't believe moms should work outside the home, period. Some think that moms with jobs outside the house have it easier than stay-at-home moms, and vice versa. Some believe that working moms shouldn't be given any special treatment because they chose to have kids and we all have to live with the consequences of our choices.

What we could all use is a little more of the grace Johnson wrote about in her post. It's not about giving moms special treatment; it's about employers and coworkers recognizing that working parents thrive when they have flexibility in how, when, and where they get their work done. It's not about "excuses," but about the very real struggle of trying to be there for your family and be there for your job at the same time. It's not about "entitlement," but rather understanding that giving working parents flexibility actually makes them better employees.

Here's to the working moms out there striving to do their best on the homefront and the jobfront, and to the employers doing what they can to make that feat easier to accomplish.

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South Asian millennials are finding social support through a dedicated Facebook group

Sandhya with other members at a home meet-up

South Asian women across the country are finding social support in a thriving Facebook group devoted to them.

The Little Brown Diary has over 40,000 members, primarily between the ages of 20 and 40, and 100 subgroups devoted to niche topics. Some of these include mental health, entrepreneurship, career advice, and more.

Members of the group can discuss their experiences as South Asians, inner conflicts they face, and even bond over their favorite hobbies. The Facebook group has become a safe place for many of its members to find support in the most transformative periods of their lives. These include:

  • Supporting women in domestic violence and sexual assault circumstances
  • Sharing mental health and suicide resources
  • Connecting members to support each other through grief and loss
  • Helping members find the strength to get a divorce or defend their decision to be childfree
  • Helping them navigate career changes
  • Helping to find friends in a new city
  • Finding a community of other neurodivergent people in their shoes

“I joined the online community because I was looking for that sense of belonging and connection with others who shared similar experiences and backgrounds,” expressed Sandhya Simhan, one of the group admins.

“At the time, I was pregnant and eager to find other desi moms who could offer support, advice, and friendship during this significant life transition,” she says.

Another group admin, Henna Wadhwa, who works in Diversity and Inclusion in Washington, D.C., even uses the group to inspire new areas of research, including a study on ethnic-racial identity at work.

“I was surprised and excited for a group that brought together South Asian/brown women. I wanted to meet other women with similar research interests and who wanted to conduct academic research on South Asian American women,” Wadhwa says.

While social media isn’t always the best place to spend our time, studies show that the sense of community people get from joining online groups can be valuable to our mental health.

“The presence of LBD has allowed so many South Asian women to truly feel safe in their identity. The community we have built encourages each person to authentically and freely be themselves. It is a powerful sight to witness these South Asian women be vulnerable, break barriers, and support each other in their journeys,” says Wadhwa.

Hena and Neesha

According to an article in Psychology Today, a study on college students looked at whether social media could serve as a source of social support in times of stress. Turns out, these students were more likely to turn to their social media network rather than parents or mental health professionals for connection. The anonymity of virtual communities was also seen as appealing to those experiencing depression.

“The social support received in the online group promotes a sense of well-being and was associated with positive relationships and personal growth,” the article states.

This is why finding a community of like-minded individuals online can have such a positive impact in your life.

“There are almost half a million women in our target audience (millennial South Asians in North America) and about 10% of them are part of LBD. It’s been a game-changer for our community. LBD is all about embracing your true self and living your most authentic life. It's amazing to see how the members support, relate, learn, and lift each other,” says Wadhwa and Simhan.

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Joy

'90s kid shares the 10 lies that everyone's parent told them

"Don't swallow that gum. If you do, it'll take 7 years to come out."

via 90sKid4lyfe/TikTok (used with permission)

90sKidforLife shares 10 lies everyone's parents told in the era.


Children believe everything their parents tell them. So when parents lie to prevent their kids to stop them from doing something dumb, the mistruth can take on a life of its own. The lie can get passed on from generation to generation until it becomes a zombie lie that has a life of its own.

Justin, known as 90sKid4Lyfe on TikTok and Instagram, put together a list of 10 lies that parents told their kids in the ‘90s, and the Gen X kids in the comments thought it was spot on.

“Why was I told EVERY ONE of these?” Brittany, the most popular commenter, wrote. “I heard all of these plus the classic ‘If you keep making that face, it will get stuck like that,’” Amanda added. After just four days of being posted, it has already been seen 250,000 times.

Parents were always lying #90s #90skids #parenting

@90skid4lyfe

Parents were always lying #90s #90skids #parenting

Here are Justin’s 10 lies '90s parents told their kids:

1. "You can't drink coffee. It'll stunt your growth."

2. "If you pee in the pool, it's gonna turn blue."

3. "Chocolate milk comes from brown cows."

4. "If you eat those watermelon seeds, you'll grow a watermelon in your stomach."

5. "Don't swallow that gum. If you do, it'll take 7 years to come out."

6. "I told you we can't drive with the interior light on. ... It's illegal."

7. "Sitting that close to the TV is going to ruin your vision."

8. "If you keep cracking your knuckles, you're gonna get arthritis."

8. "You just ate, you gotta wait 30 minutes before you can swim."

10. "If you get a tattoo, you won't find a job."

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Now's your chance to help someone doing good in your community win $1000 towards the charity of their choice

Upworthy and P&G are back with the #ActsOfGood Awards.

Images provided by P&G

Three winners will be selected to receive $1000 donated to the charity of their choice.

True

Doing good is its own reward, but sometimes recognizing these acts of kindness helps bring even more good into the world. That’s why we’re excited to partner with P&G again on the #ActsOfGood Awards.

The #ActsOfGood Awards recognize individuals who actively support their communities. It could be a rockstar volunteer, an amazing community leader, or someone who shows up for others in special ways.

Do you know someone in your community doing #ActsOfGood? Nominate them between April 24th-June 3rdhere.Three winners will receive $1,000 dedicated to the charity of their choice, plus their story will be highlighted on Upworthy’s social channels. And yes, it’s totally fine to nominate yourself!

We want to see the good work you’re doing and most of all, we want to help you make a difference.

While every good deed is meaningful, winners will be selected based on how well they reflect Upworthy and P&G’s commitment to do #ActsOfGood to help communities grow.

That means be on the lookout for individuals who:

Strengthen their community

Make a tangible and unique impact

Go above and beyond day-to-day work

The #ActsOfGood Awards are just one part of P&G’s larger mission to help communities around the world to grow. For generations, P&G has been a force for growth—making everyday products that people love and trust—while also being a force for good by giving back to the communities where we live, work, and serve consumers. This includes serving over 90,000 people affected by emergencies and disasters through the Tide Loads of Hope mobile laundry program and helping some of the millions of girls who miss school due to a lack of access to period products through the Always #EndPeriodPoverty initiative.

Visit upworthy.com/actsofgood and fill out the nomination form for a chance for you or someone you know to win. It takes less than ten minutes to help someone make an even bigger impact.

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Health

Socially anxious? Here are 17 best ways to answer the question: 'How are you?'

There's more you can say than "fine."

via Cottonbro Studios/Pexels

Some people having polite conversation at a party.

Does the following scenario make you feel anxious? You are in line at Target, and someone behind you recognizes you from an old job you had and asks, "How are you?” and you reply, “Fine.” Then, both of you stare at each other for 10 seconds, waiting for someone to say something next.

Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW, suggests that before we answer the question, we should attempt to ascertain if the person we’re talking to really wants to know. Are they being pleasant or just trying to make small talk? If you think they want to see how you’re doing, feel free to disclose what’s happening in your life.

But if it’s just a stop-and-chat or you don’t know the person you’re talking to, then it’s fine to respond with a clever response that may elicit a chuckle or spread some goodwill without telling them your life story. You can easily replay with a "Fine, how are you?" and put the conversational ball back in their court.

However, if you are looking for a more clever response, a Redditor who goes by Myloceratops crowd-sourced the best answers to the big question and received over 900 responses. Most of them were witty comebacks to the question that we can all tuck into our pack pockets to use when we want to see more interesting than someone who just gives a pat “fine” response.

Here are 17 of the best responses to someone asking, “How are you?” for you to use the next time you're making small talk.

1.

"I have two stock answers: Not too bad. Distinctly average." — Floydie1962.

2.

"Saw a shirt I loved: 'The horrors persist, as do I.'" — Evilbunnyfoofoo

3.

"I kinda like the Norwegian, 'Up and not crying."' — 5tr4nGe

4.

"Dying a little more every day." — Much-Signifigance212

5.

"Do you really want to know?" — Hatjepoet

6.

"In my country, people sometimes say 'Kann nie genug klagen.' It’s roughly translated to 'I can’t complain enough.'" — OldProblemsNeverDie

7.

"'I'm on the right side of the dirt' is one of my go-to responses." — JiveTurkeyJunction

8.

"Feeling good and looking better I’ll make a burlap sack feel like the cashmere sweater." — Late_Review_8761

9.

"It's a dog-eat-dog world and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear." — 27_crooked_craibu

10.

"If I was any better, there would be two of me." — not_that_rick

11.

"At work, it's 'Better by the hour.'"— Otherwise-Tune5413

12.

"'Oh you know, living the dream' is the only one I’ve got ready to go lately." — KittyBooBoo2016

13.

"Busier than a one-legged cat trying to bury a sh** in a frozen pond." — SpoonNZ

14.

"''I think I’m going to make it' usually gets a chuckle." — Bebandy

15.

"“Im good, and you?' I’m Gen X. I don’t burden other people with my problems." — Mrbootz

16.

"My next complaint will be my first complaint." — NoGood

17.

"'I feel like a silly goose today!'Guarantee they’ll never try to make small talk with you ever again." — Front-Craft-804

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Pop Culture

'Britain's Got Talent' contestant blew Simon Cowell away singing a song he 'hates'

Her heartfelt version of "Tomorrow" brought people to tears—and completely changed Simon's tune.

Britain's Got Talent/YouTube

Sydnie Christmas nailed her rendition of "Tomorrow" from "Annie"

Contestants on "Britain's Got Talent" (as well as "American Idol" and "America's Got Talent") have long feared Simon Cowell's judgment, so imagine auditioning with a song choice that automatically brings out his sour side.

That's what contestant Sydnie Christmas did when she chose to sing "Tomorrow" from the musical "Annie," which is Simon Cowell's least favorite song. But much to everyone's surprise, she totally blew him away with her beautiful soulful rendition, causing him to change his tune.

Before performing, Christmas bounded onto the stage with her genuine smile and spunky energy, which endeared her to the judges and audience immediately. She even cracked a joke about her middle name being "Mary" (Sydnie Mary Christmas would be quite the name choice) and got everyone laughing with her.

However, when she announced she'd be singing "Tomorrow," Cowell winced and the other judges groaned.

"That is Simon's worst song," warned judge Amanda Holden.

But when Christmas, who works as a receptionist at a gym, began to sing, it soon became clear that this wasn't an ordinary rendition of the musical classic. Soulful, heartfelt, sad but hopeful, she built the song up bit by bit, bringing the audience along with her on an emotional ride.

Watch:

Not only did she get the coveted Golden Buzzer, but she also managed to get Simon Cowell to say he now loves the song he said he'd hated just minutes before. Viewers loved it, too.

"That was the first time I could take this song serious. Before today I hated it, too," wrote one person.

"When they say you have to make the song your own, she did just that. I have never heard a better version," wrote another.

"Absolutely beautiful; love how the word “tomorrow” always sounded unique EVERY TIME! Listened over and over…" added another.

"I've heard that song a million times and she REALLY got the poignancy of it," shared another. "It is a sad song, but a song of hope, and it is hard to walk that line and she KILLED IT. It's not just about her voice, it is how she sold that song."

She even pulled in people from various walks of life, moving them with her performance:

"I'm a 60 year old highway worker. Just got off work and my wife sent this to me. What I'm trying to figure out is who's been cutting onions in my vehicle? Seriously, teared me up. This took me COMPLETELY off guard and I am so delighted to have experienced this diamond!"

"41 year old hip hop head here and never did I think I would be touched like this. The sound of suffering with a glimmer of hope in the sound. Who is cutting onions at this time."

"I’m a 60 year old builder sitting in my van having lunch. I just watched this. The guys in the next van are taking the P coz I’m crying my eyes out! Brilliant!"

As someone named Annie, I've had "Tomorrow" sung to me countless times over the years, so I shared Simon Cowell's initial grimace upon hearing what she was going to sing. But I too was moved by Christmas's performance and gained a whole new appreciation for the song after her gorgeous rendition. Not an easy feat. What a delightful surprise for us all.

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Pop Culture

How GeoGuessr pros can pinpoint any place in the world just from a Google street image

Sometimes it's literally just a field, and they can tell you within a handful of miles where it is on the globe.

Photo by Josh Sorenson/Pexels (left) Canva (right)

Can you tell where in the world this is?

Imagine someone handing you a photo of a random street corner, neighborhood or field anywhere in the world and expecting you to know where it is. Occasionally, you might get lucky and see a sign or a landmark that gives a helpful clue, but chances are good that all you'd have to go from is some vegetation and maybe a building or two to guess from. We live in a huge world—seems impossible, right?

But that's often all that GeoGuessr pros need to be able to tell you in seconds where on the globe the image came from, often within just a handful of miles.

When Swedish IT consultant Anton Wallén launched the GeoGuessr app in 2013, he surely didn't expect it to launch an entire global esport phenomenon. It was just a fun game to be dropped somewhere on the globe and try to guess where you are. But thanks to the pandemic forcing people to travel virtually for a while, it took viral hold as a competitive game in 2021. Now there's even a GeoGuessr World Cup championship, and it's a wild ride to watch.

In fact, these players are so fast at pinpointing locations based on photos that would have most of us scratching our heads, saying, "Heck, that could be anywhere," it's almost hard to watch. Check out even just a minute or so of these highlights:

One of the most popular Geoguessr players on social media is Trevor Rainbolt, one of the hosts of the 2023 GeoGuessr World Cup. While he says he's not as good as some of the other pros, his TikTok account has 2.7 million followers and he consistently demonstrates his ability to find anything on the planet based on an outdoor photo. Literally anything, anywhere.

Rainbolt explained to WIRED some of the tools and tricks of the Geoguessr trade, and it's both incredibly impressive and surprisingly mundane. Obviously, when there are street signs visible that offers a huge clue, but players learn details about every element of different countries' landscapes, from telephone poles to vegetation the way lines are painted on the street to what garbage bins look like in different cities. They even get so specific as the color and texture of soils.

Watch Rainbolt explain:

Geoguessr players educate themselves using Google Maps so thoroughly that they are able to piece together every tiny clue to make an educated guess about where an image comes from. But it's the speed with which the pros make their guesses that's so mesmerizing—the result of years of learning and practice, just like any other highly developed skill.

If this all seems a bit pointless (though one could argue there's always a point to knowing where you are), there are actually some really heartwarming things that have come out of the "geonerd" world. For instance, a woman had a photo of her mom, but zero other information about her. Rainbolt was able to pinpoint the exact location the photo was taken, giving the woman a clue into her own past.

@georainbolt

this one felt good #geo #geoguessr #geography #geowizard

And another similar request yielded similar results:

🫶

Sometimes people's requests are even more challenging, and yet Rainbolt manages to find locations with remarkable accuracy.

@georainbolt

road matching #geo #geography #geowizard #geoguessr #ReadySetLift

People often tell him he should be hired by the CIA or FBI, and for sure that seems plausible. But what's great about what he does is that he explains exactly how he does it. It just takes countless hours over years and years to get to know the planet as well as he and other Geoguessr pros know it.

Anyone can play—just download the GeoGuessr app or play online and give it a go. Fair warning, though. It's not nearly as easy as these guys make it look.

Highly recommend following @georainbolt to watch more.

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Laughing woman gives sweet reason you should never be embarrassed about mispronouncing a word

Schweppes Ginger Ale will now and forever be pronounced incorrectly.

Representative photos by Jannet Trofimova|Canva and Rusty Clark|Flickr

Woman gives sweet reason mispronouncing a word isn't embarrassing.

There is likely not a single person on this Earth that has not mispronounced something. Sometimes people mispronounce words they know how to say, but for some reason in that moment it fell out of their head and ran away. But most of the time people read a word that they've never heard spoken and pronounce it the way they think it sounds.

If you think about it, the English language has so many different rules that it can be hard for native speakers to figure out the sound of certain letters within a word. So it shouldn't come as a surprise that people mispronounce things all the time, but one woman shared a beautiful sentiment on mispronunciation through tears of laughter.

Monica Turner shared a video on her Instagram page, Monica's Open House, of her reaction to a man who was announcing the Pepsi Co. recall of Schweppes Ginger Ale. The man in the video mispronounced the name of the ginger ale, calling it shu-wa-pee-pees.

This mispronunciation sent Turner into a giggling fit so intense that she started crying tears of laughter. While other people might have taken the video as her making fun of the young man, Turner was actually just tickled by his mispronunciation, not that he mispronounced the word in general. The woman contained her uncontrollable laughter long enough to explain something many people may need to hear.

"Ok, ok, hold on," she says while collecting herself. "Don't ever be embarrassed about mispronouncing a word because that means you read it, you didn't hear it. If you heard it you would've pronounced it properly, but you read it so don't ever be embarrassed. Ever, about mispronouncing a word, ok? Cause that gives you a leg up in my opinion."

Commenters found the mispronunciation just as hilarious as she did but also loved her response.

"Shu wa pee pee? This could be the best mispronouncing of a word I've ever seen," one person says.

"I love your explanation on mispronounced words. You read the word you have not heard the word. That is the best response to stop someone from feeling embarrassed," another writes.

"I have never heard the way that you explained away a possible insecurity. And I just want to say if your a mom, then that’s incredible and your kids are so lucky. But for anyone else who watched this video I hope they took note of the fact that you said that he read that word instead of hearing it. There’s so many different ways to learn, and the fact that you took the time to say that and make that clarification I think it was beautiful and I’ve never heard that in regards to words before, and I pride myself on English and literacy. I will forever explain things this way, if I ever hear a word mispronounced again. Thank you for the laugh and the perspective," someone shares.

There is nothing wrong with mispronouncing a word, everyone does it and this just may be the best reason to never be embarrassed about it.

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