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People over 100 share their simple secrets to living the best life

"Life goes on. So get on and do the things you love to do."

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Elderly hands hold flowers. Two older people sit on a bench.

There has always been something really fascinating about resilience. Some people simply embody it, no matter their age, and remind us that you're never too old to keep living a good life.

Just recently, a 100-year-old woman named Layne Horwich was diagnosed with breast cancer. One year later, at 101–she had beaten it. Not only did she survive the cancer, but she recently passed her driving test, according to a story on NBC 5 News Chicago. When asked how she has stayed so relatively healthy, she answered, "I did play tennis until I was 92, and I think that was good."

People who have lived to be 100 may have less time than many of us, but what they have is perspective. And, if they're lucky, that perspective can be churned into wisdom like cream into butter.

Business Insider, via their YouTube page, posted a video entitled "Life Lessons From 100-Year-Old Americans Who Didn't Expect To Live So Long." Here, they interview five centenarians to get their thoughts and wisdom on love, health, technology and, most importantly, how to live a happy life.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Barbara (101), Diane (102), Jack (101), Helen (107) and Margaret (102) get mic'd up and sit down to talk about their experience of living on this Earth for over a century. They have all lived from the Great Depression through the pandemic, and every one of those nearly one million hours tells its own story. They initially discuss their backgrounds, goals, how they met their spouses, and the lens with which they can now see the history they lived through.

They are asked questions on a variety of topics, and none of their answers disappoint.

ON LOVE

Barbara closes her eyes and says with such sincerity, "It's so important to feel love. I won't say it makes the world go round, but it's very helpful."

And you know the old wives' tale that opposites attract? Margaret and Barbara disagree with that idea. Cutting back and forth between them, Margaret says "A like-mindedness is the formation of a solid marriage. And that is love." Barbara adds, "You agree, you're on the same page, and you want to live your life together."

ON MORTALITY

Jack so beautifully and vulnerably tells us as he exits his home and takes a drive, "The most challenging thing about being 100 is at some times, time hangs heavy on your hands. I don't have any of my good friends who are still alive. They are all gone. My wife passed away 20 years ago this year. Much too early. She should be here with me, sitting right here, right now."

He later proclaims, "I am the last man standing. It's not easy at all. If I sat around and grieved all day long, that would be very difficult to take. I know that life goes on and that's the only answer I can give you. Life goes on. So get on and do the things that you love to do."

Helen also feels deep losses around her. She tells us she has lost her two sons, one just a few weeks prior at the age of 82. "I'm just shocked that I would still be here and they're gone. At my age, I think every step you take is challenging. I feel that I'm on borrowed time."

Both Margaret and Barbara reflect on the years with their husbands. Barbara confesses how hard life can seem without him. "It's very tough at this stage of the game to be alone, be vulnerable and be dependent."

ON TECHNOLOGY

older person, computer, technology, learning, 100Older man sitting at the computer. commons.wikimedia.org

When they're asked "What has changed the most in 100 years?" they name the Internet and cell phones for starters.

Helen adorably asks the producer, "Is it true you're on YouTube?" She then admits, "I see all these young people walking down the street holding phones. Everyone has got one but me."

The overall vibe is they don't love the seemingly modern obsession with technology. Jack quips, "Amazing how much garbage gets on your computer." However, they don't totally dismiss it. Jack continues, "It used to be that if you wanted the answer to something, you'd have to go to the library and do a great deal of research. Today, with a snap of your fingers, the Internet has the answer for you. Done!"

Margaret says she often uses her computer. "I think technology, if used properly, has definitely made a huge difference. The ability to reach out to one another. Getting emails, sending emails."

ON HEALTH

elderly people, exercise, aerobics, health, 100Older people taking an aerobics class.commons.wikimedia.org

When asked, "What helped you live to 100?" they all have slight variations on one theme: Exercise.

Jack also shares, "I've never smoked. I've never drunk to excess." And later, he says, "I don't eat meat to excess," though he does admit to enjoying chicken. (Helen adds to this that one should eat properly from a very young age.)

Diane (who was once a dancer) suggests "one hour a day of strenuous exercise. A real workout that will keep you going and keep you alive."

Margaret has a less intense idea of exercising. "Walk, walk, walk," she insists.

ON BEING HAPPY

Jack determines, "Don't let the old man in. I refuse to think old. If you think young, more than likely you're going to act young."

Margaret suggests keeping activities on your calendar. "There's always something on my plate that I look forward to doing. And I think that's important for people. To look forward to what you can do today, that makes a difference."

Barbara stresses the importance of friendships. "I have many friends who help me enjoy life from all different generations. 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s. And that's what makes life so interesting."

When asked directly, "So what's the secret for a long, happy life?"

elderly man, laughing, happiness, health, old ageAn elderly man laughs.pxhere.com

Diane answers, "I think it's just love of life. It's a devotion to my family, to the ones I love. The thing that I've really learned is not to be so self-centered."

Jack gives this tip: "If you don't complain, you don't make life difficult for everyone around you. You'll get along in life." He then added, "You can't get anywhere in life until you start doing things for other people."

Barbara: "You want to be attached to things that are positive and good in life." She also echoes the idea that, "Giving is a real joy."

We see Helen visiting her church, as she shares this thought - "I think if you're nice to people, it comes back to you."

Positive thinking overall is the key. Jack ends the segment with this: "I don't feel like my days are numbered. I feel that I have good years in front of me yet."

"You never say yes to anything."

These six words, uttered by Shonda Rhimes' older sister in 2013, open up the famous showrunner's new bestselling book, "Year of Yes." And they set Rhimes on a journey to say "yes" to everything that she could for one whole year.

In the process, she had some freeing and hilarious unforgettable experiences, lost over 100 pounds, and overcame her biggest fears. In short, she emerged a bold, happier person. And now she's sharing how.



Photo by Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images.

The book, which takes us on her "year of yes" journey, is chock-full of touching stories, personal revelations, and, of course, Shonda's characteristically authentic, no-holds barred witty prose with phrases like "Chicken bone, Janet Jackson boob fear-snot, y'all." (The book is worth a read simply for the story that goes along with that phrase.)

But most importantly, she shares some empowering lessons that should make any ambitious, driven woman stand up and say, "Yes!!!"

Here are five of my favorites:

1. "Ditch the dream. Be a doer, not a dreamer."

We're all told to have dreams. And not just any dreams — big dreams. HUGE dreams. We're told that dreaming those big dreams will somehow set us on a path to fulfill them. But Shonda calls foul on that thinking.

Dreamers, she says, spend their time looking up at the sky and making plans and talking and, well, dreaming. The doers are the ones who actually get about to the business of working, creating, and trying things and therefore getting things done and ending up more successful than they could have imagined.

Her own success as a game-changing TV writer and showrunner, for example, she says, "never would have happened if I hadn't stopped dreaming of becoming [Toni Morrison] and gotten busy becoming myself."

Shonda shared this lesson during the first big "yes" of her year: overcoming her fear of public speaking and agreeing to give the commencement speech at Dartmouth College. You can listen to it in full here:

2. "Wanna play?"

This is a simple lesson but one that is easy to forget in the fast-paced and stressful day-to-day life that many of us live: It's OK to play.

She says it's OK to stop and take 15 minutes to roll on the floor with her daughter or take a bubble bath and drink a glass of wine or just generally have some fun.

In order to make this happen, you may have to say no to some other things like answering email after work, being on time to an event, or meeting an unrealistic deadline. But the joy you get from indulging in a bit of pleasure every now and then will far outweigh the perceived losses.

Says Rhimes: "This 'Yes' is about giving yourself the permission to shift the focus of what is a priority from what's good for you over to what makes you feel good."

3. "It never ever helps to think that Whitney Houston's hairdo is real."

When Shonda was a teenager, she says wanted nothing more than to have her hair look like Whitney Houston's. She spent many frustrating mornings with curling irons and cans of hair spray only to find that her hair still did not look like Whitney's.

Then, one day, as an adult, she discovered that the fabulous Ms. Houston hair that she failed to achieve all those years was a wig. Mind blown.


Photo via Mark Kettenhofen/Wikimedia Commons.

Shonda uses this story to explain why she is so open about having a nanny.

As a mother who the world thinks "does it all," Rhimes says it is important to show the world that she doesn't do it all. She has help. The snacks she brings to her kid's school are store-bought, not homemade. She is constantly making tradeoffs to make things work. No matter how perfect her life may look, it isn't. Her life, her nanny, her store-bought snacks, they're all just like Whitney's wig.

When we stop feeling inadequate and stop comparing ourselves to ideals that may not even be real, we'll all be a lot happier.

4. "Thank you. Smile. Shut up."

This is Shonda's three-step process for accepting a compliment.

In her "Year of Yes," she practiced over and over to no longer do that self-deprecating, praise-rejection thing that so many women do. Instead, she learned to fully accept and receive praise. To help herself, she asked whether or not Wonder Woman, Serena Williams, or Beyoncé really doubt their greatness or feel bad about being told how "badass" they are. Probably not.

So while you may not be Wonder Woman or Beyoncé, if you are striving for greatness and doing the best that you absolutely can, you have to be OK with being better than everyone else sometimes.

Let that sink in for a second.

Not better as in an arrogant, "I matter more than you," existential sense but better at doing whatever it is that you do. Own your greatness. Own your expertise. And when someone compliments the thing you worked hard to achieve or be, just say thank you, smile, and shut up. Eventually, it'll start to feel good.

5. "Be the narrator of your own story."

As a writer, Shonda knows a thing or two about how to tell a good story. But with so many narratives about who and what a woman "should be" in regard to age, career, relationship status, and so many other expectations, it's hard sometimes to remember that you have the right to be the ultimate narrator of your own story.

In "Year of Yes," Rhimes gets personal and talks about the experience that finally empowered her to admit that she doesn't want to get married. She never has and, as far as she knows now, never will. And that's OK. It is just one of many truths that she began to realize she had to embrace and own in order to write her own life story.


She had to finally say "yes" to who she is.

Saying yes to who we really are and not allowing narratives constructed by others to dictate how we feel and what we do is essential to living a life of freedom and fulfillment.

This is just a taste of the advice Rhimes gives in "Year of Yes."

Now, of course, we don't all have the funds and resources to say yes to every opportunity that comes along, but the overall message of the book goes beyond financial limits.

Rhimes encourages us to acknowledge what is right for each of us and what empowers us to push past our fears, embrace our greatness, and do the things that will add meaning and value to our lives.

Who wouldn't want to say yes to that? Not just for 365 days, but for forever? I'm pretty sure that's exactly what Shonda has in mind.