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People are sharing the 'telltale sign' that someone is a selfish person. Here are 17 red flags.

“When people show you who they are, believe them.”

selfish, greedy, red flags

"Who me?" A woman asks if she is selfish.

In 1997, Oprah Winfrey spoke with Maya Angelou for an “Oprah’s Lifeclass” episode, and she revealed one of the most important lessons the “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings” author had taught her: “When people show you who they are, believe them.”

“When a person says to you, ‘I’m selfish,’ or ‘I’m mean,’ or ‘I am unkind,’ believe them,” Oprah says in the clip. “They know themselves much better than you do.”

Oprah recounted the life advice while discussing a relationship with a man she felt had let her down. “[Dr. Angelou] was saying to me, ‘Why are you blaming the other person? He showed you who he was,'" Oprah recalled.

Angelou’s simple advice is a great way to detect potential red flags, whether someone has a new romantic partner, coworker or friend. It’s especially helpful when we’re unsure of how to judge someone or in denial about their questionable behavior.


A Reddit user with the username Potatoe_stealer asked the online forum, “What is a telltale sign that someone is a selfish person?” and the question received over 7,000 responses. Many of them explained how selfish people often disregard others in conversations or downplay the seriousness of their problems.

This is a great way to determine if someone will be selfish when a conversation turns into action. According to this group of Reddit users, if someone is cutting you off when you speak, they may not be there for you when things get rough.

Here are 19 of the best responses to the question: "What is a telltale sign that someone is a selfish person?"

1.

"They feel no remorse for how they’ve hurt others." — avidhiker96150

2.

"Doesn’t think they’re wrong in the slightest bit. They can’t shoulder any bit of responsibility." — No_Key_6276

3.

"They don't remember the times people helped them, but remember clearly all the times they have helped others." — GoodMerlinpeen

4.

"They respond how worse their situation is when you’re sharing your problems with them. No try for help or listening, just trying to draw attention on their side." — seyfgs

5.

"They gladly take any favours you do for them, but when asked if they could reciprocate once, they get defensive and or aggressive and act like you're the selfish one for daring to expect something in return.It doesn’t make you a bad person to expect reciprocation in a relationship with someone else, romantic or platonic. Relationships are give and take and that makes them healthy. It's not entitlement to expect kindness if you give kindness. If you're the only one giving, you're being taken advantage of." — random-sh**-writing

6.

"Every bad thing you do to them is drama-worthy. Every bad thing they do to you are details and should be moved on from, and why can't you just do that? You're so dramatic!" — Pasdusername

7.

"If you are in a group and there is one person that is constantly interrupting the middle of what you or anyone else is saying generally to brag about themselves with a 'one-upper' story, is generally a precursor to stop associating with them. I've met too many of them in my days and they are more often than not happy to throw you under the bus whenever the opportunity arises." —Philay_shio

8.

"If they always talk about themselves." —Effective-Craft-1173

9.

"They have that superpower to lead everything back to themselves. Even when you're actually talking about your own life or a specific problem of yours, they somehow make it that you start talking about them instead without even changing the topic." — Anskin12

10.

"They have that superpower to lead everything back to themselves. Even when you're actually talking about your own life or a specific problem of yours, they somehow make it that you start talking about them instead without even changing the topic." — AnnaVonKleve

11.

"Cliche answer but I have found the 'return the shopping cart' test to be pretty accurate. It is such a small thing, but it does tell you if a person thinks small things like that matter." — LeeroyTC

12.

"They're rude to waitstaff or just staff and employees in general. Or if their situational awareness is severely lacking and they don't seem to have a problem with it." — SpeedBlitzX

13.

"Trauma dumping and then not reciprocating if someone else had a bad day/felt comfortable enough to open up to them." — PessimistThePillager

14.

"People who have kids on purpose, and then act like their kids owe them (well above and beyond basic kindness and human respect) for the rest of their lives." — femmetastic

15.

"Poor listener." — Pristine-Practice-51

16.

"When they monologue at you. Every conversation is just them performing and everyone else is just part of the audience." — blocky_jabberwocky

17.

"People who always talk about money or the grind. Usually, they will sell you out in a heartbeat or take advantage of others for money which is pretty selfish." — stonebutts

Planet

Easy (and free!) ways to save the ocean

The ocean is the heart of our planet. It needs our help to be healthy.

Ocean Wise

Volunteers at a local shoreline cleanup

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The ocean covers over 71% of the Earth’s surface and serves as our planet’s heart. Ocean currents circulate vital heat, moisture, and nutrients around the globe to influence and regulate our climate, similar to the human circulatory system. Cool, right?

Our ocean systems provide us with everything from fresh oxygen to fresh food. We need it to survive and thrive—and when the ocean struggles to function healthfully, the whole world is affected.

Pollution, overfishing, and climate change are the three biggest challenges preventing the ocean from doing its job, and it needs our help now more than ever. Humans created the problem; now humans are responsible for solving it.

#BeOceanWise is a global rallying cry to do what you can for the ocean, because we need the ocean and the ocean needs us. If you’re wondering how—or if—you can make a difference, the answer is a resounding YES. There are a myriad of ways you can help, even if you don’t live near a body of water. For example, you can focus on reducing the amount of plastic you purchase for yourself or your family.

Another easy way to help clean up our oceans is to be aware of what’s known as the “dirty dozen.” Every year, scientists release an updated list of the most-found litter scattered along shorelines. The biggest culprit? Single-use beverage and food items such as foam cups, straws, bottle caps, and cigarette butts. If you can’t cut single-use plastic out of your life completely, we understand. Just make sure to correctly recycle plastic when you are finished using it. A staggering 3 million tons of plastic ends up in our oceans annually. Imagine the difference we could make if everyone recycled!

The 2022 "Dirty Dozen" ListOcean Wise

If you live near a shoreline, help clean it up! Organize or join an effort to take action and make a positive impact in your community alongside your friends, family, or colleagues. You can also tag @oceanwise on social if you spot a beach that needs some love. The location will be added to Ocean Wise’s system so you can submit data on the litter found during future Shoreline Cleanups. This data helps Ocean Wise work with businesses and governments to stop plastic pollution at its source. In Canada, Ocean Wise data helped inform a federal ban on unnecessary single-use plastics. Small but important actions like these greatly help reduce the litter that ends up in our ocean.

Ocean Wise, a conservation organization on a mission to restore and protect our oceans, is focused on empowering and educating everyone from individuals to governments on how to protect our waters. They are making conservation happen through five big initiatives: monitoring and protecting whales, fighting climate change and restoring biodiversity, innovating for a plastic-free ocean, protecting and restoring fish stocks, and finally, educating and empowering youth. The non-profit believes that in order to rebuild a resilient and vibrant ocean within the next ten years, everyone needs to take action.

Become an Ocean Wise ally and share your knowledge with others. The more people who know how badly the ocean needs our help, the better! Now is a great time to commit to being a part of something bigger and get our oceans healthy again.

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