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Family

Wife has the perfect response when husband introduces her to coworkers as 'The Housewife'

She began by laughing hysterically.

via Artur Voznenko/Unsplash

An anry wife shares her thoughts with her husband.

A husband invited some new coworkers over for dinner and instead of properly introducing his wife, he made a sexist joke that she felt was belittling. The wife, who goes by the name Sadie on Reddit, shared the story on the AITA forum to ask if she responded correctly.

Spoiler alert: Yes, she did.

“My husband invited his new coworkers over for dinner. When they arrived, he introduced me by gesturing at me and saying, ‘This is Mrs. Smith (he didn't even say my name)...the housewife!'" Sadie revealed.

“I looked at him for a second, then I started laughing hysterically,” Sadie continued. “I then told said, ‘No, honey, I work full time, and YES I still act like a housewife when I'm home because you simply can't bother to help.’” After Sadie’s remark, the guests stared at the husband, who tried to laugh it off and then changed the subject by asking them if they wanted a drink.

The rest of the dinner was awkward, with the husband and wife exchanging angry glances. After the guests left, the husband blew up at Sadie, saying that she laughed like a “lunatic” and that she ruined “his image.”

“I told him he was wrong to lie about my status and deny my degree, to begin with,” Sadie continued. He said I could've talked to him about it privately later but not like this, and making his coworkers think he's useless.” Sadie asked the online forum if she was out of line, and they responded with a collective no.

People overwhelmingly supported the wife, raising an issue far beyond the fact that her husband was seriously inconsiderate. It’s a big red flag in a relationship when one spouse diminishes or belittles the other in public or private.

“Men who diminish their partners to look better at the office are gross. He only seemed to care about his embarrassment and not yours. I'd be mortified if my husband used a lie that robbed me of my success and accomplishments to prop himself up," Geranium27 wrote.

“It's a red flag for the relationship. He doesn't want a partner who is an equal. He wants a dependent woman who he can provide for completely so he can feel like a man," RedWanderingLizard added.

Some also noted that it was wrong of him to disparage homemakers.

"He diminished (being a housewife is not a ‘low’ role, but he meant it that way) you in public, you corrected him. In public. As he deserved,” LetThemEatHay wrote.

The viral post received over 24,000 comments, highlighting the idea that belittling your partner is a serious sign of a dysfunctional relationship that should not be ignored.

According to Psychology Today, backhanded compliments, digs and subtle put-downs are attempts by one partner to make the other feel small and themselves feel big. “Although cleverly disguised as a joke or a compliment, these comments may qualify as ‘toxic’ if they sting, cause confusion, and replay in a person’s mind for days, disrupting their peace,” Erin Leonard, Ph.D. writes.

Ultimately, commenters overwhelmingly agreed that Sadie was right not to let her husband's belittling compliment go unnoticed. By sharing it online, she opened up a meaningful discussion about appropriate humor in relationships. Studies show that it’s healthy for partners to joke around with one another, but when the comments are thinly veiled put-downs and backhanded compliments, it’s no laughing matter.


This article originally appeared on 5.9.24

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marriage
Modern Families

People are shocked after wife shares the simple joy of just  hanging at home with her husband

Sometimes there's no better date night than just cuddling on the couch.

@them_yangs/TikTok

Find yourself someone who you can hang out on the couch with form time to time.

As any couples therapist will tell you, continuing to go out on dates with our spouses is of course crucial in a marriage. But those lowkey nights of cuddling on the couch and just peacefully coexisting with one another is just as important, and just as rewarding.

This specific kind of domestic bliss was recently captured perfectly by a married woman who goes by @them_yangs on TikTok. In her video, she and her husband are wrapped up in a blanket—her with a glass of wine and a tablet for reading, him looking intently at a TV screen while playing a video game. Each perfectly content to just hang out with one another.

This was something that the woman’s friend apparently could not comprehend.

“I told my friend the other night I couldn’t go out with her because I was hanging out with my husband,” she explained. “And honestly she was confused. She was like ‘Oh, you’re going on a date with your husband?’ And I said ‘No, we’re just hanging out. I’m going to read, he’s going to play Zelda, we’re gonna drink wine on the couch. We’re just hanging out.’ And she could not understand the concept of hanging out with my husband. And I said ‘Don’t you hang out with your husband?’ and she said ‘No!’ and that made me sad.”


@them_yangs With her permission i share this stpry to say. I hope you like hanging out with your husband #husbandwife #booktok #couplegoals #marriedlife ♬ Full Moon - Michel Grimaldo


Though this wife’s friend couldn't fathom what made this hangout so special, other viewers certainly understood.

“Just existing with your partner doing your own things is so soothing,” one person wrote.

Another echoed, “Being able to hang out with your partner is top tier relationships goals.”

Others shared what their own version of spouse hangouts look like.

One person said, “Sometimes I sit on the phone with my sister for HOURS while we play our own games or do our own things because it’s nice to just have company and vibe even over the phone.”

A few argued for the necessity of nurturing friendship outside the marriage, too, as to not make partners the end-all, be-all relationship.

“I can hang out almost any day with my SO,” one viewer wrote. “So if a friend invited me somewhere I will go out and then hang out with SO another night.”

While that’s a fair point to make, we can’t assume that this woman doesn’t also have healthy relationships with her friends. Nor can we assume that this woman is saying that she spends every night this way. What she is saying, and what we can all take away from, is the importance of true friendship within a romantic partnership. Whether or not your partner is your best friend is probably up to personal preference. But hopefully they are a friend that you enjoy spending leisurely time with.

Couples can also take solace in the fact that date nights need not always be extravagant evenings of painting the town red. Enjoying each other’s company can take on many different forms.

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Joy

Woman reveals she 'forgets' to end phone calls with daughter-in-law to secretly lift her up

We should all get to experience this at least once.

Photo by SHVETS production/Pexels

This mother-in-law's secret uplift hack has people cheering her on.

Overhearing someone talking negatively about you behind your back can be devastating, but hearing someone talk about you positively can be life-changing in the best way. Especially, perhaps, when that someone is your mother-in-law.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships are known for being a mixed bag, with some being notoriously filled with conflict and fault-finding. But one mother-in-law's secret habit of letting her daughter-in-law eavesdrop on her when she thinks she accidently forgot to hang up the phone has people cheering her thoughtfulness.

In response to the question, "What secret are you currently hiding from someone that you're willing to share on Reddit?" user Kindly-Article-9357 wrote:

"I've started to on occasion 'accidentally' (but on purpose) not hang up my phone correctly when getting off a call with my daughter-in-law.

I then proceed to talk to my husband about how much I enjoy talking to her, how lovely I think she is, how glad I am that our son chose her, and whatever other boost I may think she needs.

She doesn't have any family that uplifts her, just the kind that tears her down."

"I started doing this after my son told me about his wife coming to him in full-on snot tears, because I had once butt dialed her while talking to my husband about her. She stayed on the line to hear what I 'really' thought of her, expecting the worst because that's been her experience of family.

Apparently, she was quite touched by the things I said, and my son told me it gave her a confidence boost that lasted weeks.

So I do it more often now. Neither of them have any idea I do it on purpose, though. They just think I'm getting old and worse at managing my tech."

People loved how the woman went out of her way to not only let her daughter-in-law know she thinks she's great but to do it in a way that might truly make her believe it. Having someone praise you to your face is great, but hearing it from someone who doesn't know you're listening just hits different.

"Years ago we called my parents to tell them we were expecting our 2nd child. My dad failed to hang up when the call ended and I heard him tell my mom how glad he was to get the news because we were such good parents. I have NEVER forgotten that sweet affirmation that wouldn’t have hit as true if he had said it TO me."

"Similarly, I talk about my 7 year old to my friends and family and discuss how amazing he is. He can be all the way in his room but I know he’s listening (he’s nosey). I can tell it boosts his confidence. It’s one thing to tell someone directly, but it hits different when you’re ear hustling."

"I once heard, 'Kids think about themselves based on how we talk about them. What they hear is what they believe.' I think each of us has an inner kid that feels the same, to some extent. And I’m sure her inner kid needed to hear those things."

"My boyfriend did this accidentally one day at work...he and I both forgot to hang up and I heard him talking to his coworker, I was afraid I'd hear something I didn't like not that he has ever spoken ill abt me to anyone I just have low self esteem..but he went on to tell his buddy how smart I am, how I just know all sorts of neat and interesting facts how I teach him something new everyday and I just melted I tried yelling into the phone to tell him I love him but obvs he couldn't hear lol its the lil things in life that I cling to most."

"I do this any time people leave a conversation. Just before they leave the room, I say to the rest of the group, 'I love hanging out with XX' or 'XX is just so nice.' Or when someone is leaving the car, you do it right before they close the door."

It's a good reminder to talk positively about people whether they're around or not. Only good can come from lifting others up, especially when they weren't even meant to hear it in the first place.

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Health

What do women do when no one is watching? These images sum it up nicely.

Realness is key in Sally Nixon's work.



What are women up to when no one is watching?


Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

Well, take a look at Sally Nixon's illustrations and you'll see.


The subjects in her artwork aren't aware we're looking at them.

And that's the point. They're living in a world free from the pressures that exist in the real one.

"I like drawing girls doing their everyday routine — just hanging out, not worried about what others are thinking," Nixon told Upworthy. "They're usually alone or with other girls. Their guard is down."

Editor's note: An image below contains partial nudity.

Capturing her subjects in this liberated light wasn't intentional at first, she explained.

But when she started a 365-day challenge last April to create one art piece a day, the work started reflecting the nuances of her own life away from prying eyes — "I was kind of like, 'Oh, I'm brushing my teeth, so I'll draw that.'" — and a theme began to form.Her illustrations show how women look, away from the exhausting world where they're often judged more harshly than men.

You also might notice none of the girls in her illustrations are smiling.

According to Nixon, that's a deliberate choice.

"I don't sit around smiling to myself," Nixon said, noting the double standard that exists in thinking women should always appear cheerful.

"I've been told, 'You need to smile more.' It's so infuriating. I wanted to show the way girls actually look, comfortably."

The theme of friendship is also an important one in Nixon's drawings.

“I have four older sisters, so female friendship has always been a big part of my life," Nixon told The Huffington Post. “You gotta have someone to talk about periods with, and dudes just don't get it."

Creating relatable scenes was key to Nixon, too — from the details of women's lives to the physical shapes of their bodies.

“It's important that the women I draw aren't rail thin with huge boobs," Nixon said. “I think there are enough images of bodies like that out in the world. The ladies I draw typically have small-ish, droopy breasts and thick thighs. They're kind of lumpy but in an attractive way. Just like real people."

The women in Nixon's work aren't real, but she hopes their stories are.

"One of my absolute favorite comments [on my work] is, 'Oh my God, it's me!'" she explained of the depictions.

"There's a little bit of beauty in [everyday life] and I wanted to bring that out."

You can view more of Nixon's artwork on her website and check out her prints for purchase on Etsy.


This article originally appeared on 04.15.16








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