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There's something important happening in these tight-knit grandparent-grandchild moments.

You know that moment when a three-year-old runs full-speed into their grandpa’s arms like they haven’t seen him in years, even though it’s only been three days? Or when a sulky teenager who won’t even grunt “hello” to their parents suddenly lights up and starts chatting animatedly with grandma about the latest drama at school?

There’s something happening in these tight-knit moments that goes way deeper than many realize, and scientists have finally figured out what it is.

 grandparents, granchild, grandma, grandpa, child Researchers have discovered the secret to long-lasting relationships between grandparents and grandchildren.Photo credit: Canva

The secret that’s been hiding in plain sight

Researchers have spent years trying to understand why some grandparent-grandchild relationships are absolute magic whiles others just…aren’t. In a collection of generational research, scientists and psychologists have studied hundreds of families, tracked brain scans, measured stress hormones, and tracked childhood relationships for decades.

What they discovered was nothing short of amazing—and it might make you want to call your grandparents right now.

Grandparents who create those unbreakable bonds aren’t doing anything extraordinary; actually, it’s the exact opposite. They’re not the ones with the biggest toy budgets or most elaborate vacation plans. Instead, they’re practicing eight surprisingly simple habits that literally rewire children’s brains for trust, empathy, and emotional resilience.

And here’s the kicker: most of them don’t even realize they’re doing it.


The 8 habits that change everything

(1) They show up for the boring stuff:

Yes, birthday parties and graduation ceremonies are important, but grandparents who build the strongest bonds with their grandchildren understand something profound: random Tuesday afternoons matter just as a much as special occasions.

Child psychologists call this “predictable availability,” and it amounts to something like relationship gold. When kids know that grandma will be there, not just for the big moments, but also for homework help, scraped knees, and all the mundane moments that make up life, something powerful happens in their brain.

They develop what attachment theorists refer to as “earned secure attachment”—an unshakable trust in the other that becomes the bedrock for many other relationships they’ll experience in their lifetime.

(2) They listen like their life depends on it

In our phone-buzzing, multitasking world, grandparents who offer their grandchildren their complete, undivided attention generate something rare and increasingly precious. We’re talking about the kind of listening where phones remain face-down and eye contact doesn’t waver.

Without distractions, grandparents are able to really connect with the grandchildren in a way they might not experience in other aspects of their lives—and even for youngsters, that goes a long way.


 grandparents, granchild, grandma, grandpa, child Grandparents who consistently show up for their grandchildren tend to have more satisfying relationships. Photo credit: Canva

(3) They tell stories that make themselves human

The most powerful grandparent storytellers aren’t the ones with the most exciting tales, like meeting Mick Jagger backstage at a concert (although, that would be kind of cool): they’re the ones who are willing to be vulnerable. When grandpa admits that he failed his driving test twice, or grandma shares how terrified she was on her first day of high school, grandchildren learn important life lessons, like that imperfection is normal and resilience is possible.

In a paper published by Cambridge Development and Psychology, this phenomenon is labeled “narrative coherence.” These stories help children see themselves as a larger part of the family narrative, creating a sense of identity and belonging that research shows reduces anxiety and increases self-esteem.


(4) They cultivate judgment-free zones

Perhaps the most crucial habit involves cultivating what psychologists call “emotional safety nets.” These grandparents become skilled at offering comfort without conditions; acceptance sans lectures.

Children need at least one adult in their lives who accept them unconditionally. While parents must balance love with guidance and discipline, grandparents are uniquely positioned to fill this crucial role.

“For kids, an extremely important resilience factor is a warm, nurturing relationship with a parent, caregiver, or other adult,” said Dr. Sara VanBronkhorst, a voluntary faculty in psychiatry at Columbia who led a 2023 study published in JAMA Psychiatry. “Our study demonstrates that children who have at least one positive, committed adult-child relationship are less likely to experience depression, anxiety and perceived stress later in life.”

(5) They let the kids be the teachers

Here’s where it gets fascinating: the strongest grandparent-grandchild bonds often include moments where the child becomes the teacher. When grandparents humble themselves to learn about their interests—Pokémon cards, hour-long YouTube videos about ant colonies, hilarious TikTok filters, etc.—something wonderful occurs.

For children, teaching an adult something, no matter how mundane, validates their knowledge and boosts self-confidence. Research confirms that kids who regularly teach adults develop stronger communication skills and higher self-esteem.

(6) They keep their promises

This might seem obvious, but think back to childhood: how many times did you hear statements like, “I promise I won’t get mad,” and the exact opposite happened? Children’s brains are finely tuned to reliability patterns, meaning, when grandparents consistently follow through on commitments—even tiny ones—they build “earned security.”

This doesn’t need to be nitpicky. For example, when grandpa calls ahead to explain to his grandchild that Crumbl was closed, so he can’t bring the “promised” cookies, but suggests making them together instead, he doesn’t just fulfill a promise. He strengthens the bond by showing that his commitment matters, despite how “small” it may seem.

(7) They carve out one-on-one time

Family gatherings are crucial, but the deepest bonds form during individual interactions. Research shows that children have multiple aspects to them—different parts of themselves that emerge in various contexts. For example, a quiet child might become suddenly chatty during a solo walk with grandma.

These individual connections don’t require elaborate activities or effort. Sometimes, the most meaningful moments happen between a grandchild and grandparent during simple car rides to the grocery store or while folding laundry together.

(8) They adapt as the kids grow

The grandparents who maintain strong bonds through everything—the terrible twos, that phase when all the child can ask is “Why?”, and the teenage years—understand that all relationships must evolve. This might feel strange at first, like accepting the once-cuddly grandchild who now prefers fist bumps to hugs, or the moody teen who prefers to quietly scroll on their phones during visits.

Grandparents who take this all in stride, who can adapt without taking these changes personally, often find their relationships with their grandchildren to deepen during adolescence.

 grandparents, granchild, grandma, grandpa, children The most powerful connections don't spring from grand gestures or expensive gifts.Photo credit: Canva

It’s the simple truth that changes everything

So, the next time you're with your grandchildren—or you're thinking about the grandparents you’re lucky to have in life—remember this: the most powerful connections don’t spring from grand gestures or expensive gifts.

Relationships that matter—relationships that thrive—grow through an accumulation of small moments when someone important chooses to show up, listen with their whole heart, and love without conditions. In a world that increasingly feels divided and disconnected, these grandparent-grandchild relationships offer something quite precious: proof that genuine human connection is still possible, one random Tuesday afternoon at a time.

Pop Culture

Man's dating advice to find the guy who will 'guide you through death' is striking a chord

"Yeah, muscles are cool, but can he sit in the hospital for six hours?"

This is a real life partner litmus test.

We all know that dating can be confusing, disappointing, and...all things opposite of romantic, essentially. That goes especially when we conflate trivial preferences (you know, 6’5”, blue eyes, finance type stuff) with traits that actually align with our values. In other words, when we forget that the criteria for a fling differs from that of a life partner.

As for finding the former, a man named Davi has some pretty solid advice. While it’s geared towards women who are seeking husbands, you can easily apply this PSA to anyone looking for long-term love. The reasons will be pretty obvious, though fairly macabre.

“Your husband will literally have to guide you through the death of both of your parents, so choose that man wisely,” Davi begins in a clip posted to TikTok. “Like, yeah, muscles are cool, but can he sit with you in a hospital waiting room for six hours without making it about his fantasy football team?”

 dating, dating advice, relationships, relationship advice, finding the right guy, life partner, grief, green flags "Yeah, muscles are cool, but can he sit with you in a hospital waiting room for six hours without making it about his fantasy football team?”Photo credit: Canva

The “real test,” Davi argued, isn’t based on aesthetics, but on whether or not you can “trust them to talk to your dad’s doctor when you’re too overwhelmed to do it yourself…and help you through it.”

He even noted that while positive communication, like sending “good morning texts,” and cutesy novel things like “matching Halloween costumes” are still important, they are trumped by how a partner is able to help you during grief.

“It’s, ‘Hey I called the funeral home so you didn’t have to do it. That’s trustworthy. That’s a quality to look for.”

Keeping this question in mind can help you “start figuring out what really matters” and “being picky about the right things,” Davi says, rather than being distracted by what someone looks like. Of course, physical attraction has its place, but as we know, that is the most superficial and changeable quality of a person, and therefore not always the best way to determine a true life partner.

Davi then brought it home with a warning, saying, “One day, life is gonna body slam you with grief, I promise you. And the guy who only brings vibes is gonna fold like a lawn chair.”

 dating, dating advice, relationships, relationship advice, finding the right guy, life partner, grief, green flags “One day, life is gonna body slam you with grief."Photo credit: Canva

Again, this can apply to anyone, but it certainly touches on a common dilemma that many women have lamented about male partners who don’t pull their own weight during challenging circumstances. While they are often referring to childcare, this brings a whole new layer to consider.

“If you find a man who can hold you up when you’re going through it, hold onto that for dear life. Because love isn’t built on butterflies and your little checklist. It’s built on the guy who brings snacks, tissues, and doesn’t flinch when the hard stuff shows up.” Davi concluded.

The video, which has racked up nearly five million views, has certainly struck a chord, and has been met with an overwhelmingly positive response—from people who noted that it "changed their brain chemistry” to women who shared gratitude for having this kind of partner in their lives.


“OMG I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THIS”

“Excellent advice! This man is going to be your emergency contact.”

“Fall in love with how he treats you, not the muscles.”

“My husband was my rock through the loss of my parents, sister, and our son. Yes. Pick the right man.”

“My dad just passed away and he was there EVERY step of the way. I am so thankful for him and happy to endure all of life’s challenges with him.”

Yes, it's a bleak and uncomfortable scenario that no one relishes having to think about, and certainly not on anyone’s top of mind when it comes to romance, but nonetheless, grief is a big part of life. It’s something none of us want to endure alone. The right partner can make those difficult moments a little easier to navigate, so, as Davi rightfully prompted, choose wisely.

Tifanie Mayberry and David Frazier discuss their chance encounter.

Usually, when you read a story about people being confronted in a grocery store parking lot, it's bad news. But not this time. Back in November of 2023, Portland, Oregon-based photographer David Frazier had an uplifting experience in the parking lot of a New Seasons market after being approached by a female admirer.

He later told the story on TikTok in a video that received over 3.4 million views. While making a quick run to the store, Frazier parked next to a woman driving a Tesla. He noticed she was eating, hanging around, and “vibing,” so he flashed her a smile and went into the store, where he picked up a bite to eat.

Upon returning to his car, the woman was still there. She rolled down her window and asked Frazier, “Hey, are you single?” Frazier was taken aback by the question and replied: “Sadly, yes, I am. Um, also very gay, though.”

@wowrealneat

Dear New Seasons Parking Lot Girl, you’re so cool and ily ❤️ #fyp #portland #parkinglot #xoxo

 

He told the woman he was flattered and that asking never hurts. "You're just so handsome," she replied. Frazier returned the compliment, calling her "pretty," and the two shared a laugh and went their separate ways.

But the interaction stuck with Frazier. He thought it took real "guts" to tell a stranger you think they're attractive. He also felt that it was "kind" and "flattering" for her to compliment him. "She seemed like such a genuine and kind and earnest" and "cool" person, he said in the video.

He hoped the TikTok video he made would eventually reach her somehow. “You have uplifted me in a way that I didn’t know I needed, and it made me feel amazing, and I just wanted to say thank you and I hope you have such an incredible weekend,” Frazier told the woman through his post. He also invited her to get a “friend coffee.”'

Five weeks after Frazier posted the video, it successfully reached its intended audience of one. Tifanie Mayberry, the woman driving the Tesla, saw it. She shared a reaction video in which she watched Frazier’s original post. The video received over 11 million views.

@tifaniemayberry

#duet with @David #fyp WOW!! Never expected for this to come back around like this. OMG. The internet is internetting and I LOVE it!!

 

Mayberry followed up the reaction video with another, explaining that her behavior in the parking lot that day was a perfect example of where she is in life. She’s 35, single, and ready to settle down and have kids. If that means she has to be a little forward in approaching men, so be it.

"So what you're witnessing is me just being like no BS and being 'like okay if I see me a good one, I just like to lasso them, and reel 'em in’ and be like 'Hey, I'm interested,' and that's just kind of where I am in life. And apparently, this one got back to me in a very unexpected way,” she said.

Mayberry added that she has yet to speak with Frazier but is looking forward to meeting him. She hopes that one day he’ll even make it to her wedding. "Do I want to be wing friends? Absolutely. Do I want him to be at my wedding when I finally get married? Absolutely," she said. "I just have such a deep appreciation for the love that has transpired from this sweet little moment. Never had I expected it to come into this form."


@tifaniemayberry

Well its been a very funny ending to 2023, and I have to say it ended things on such a great note for me 🥹❤️✨ Thanks TikTok!! @David - Coffee in the New Year?!

 


This article originally appeared last year.

Joy

Woman reveals her fiancé's 'horribly disgusting' pillow, and oh boy, brace yourself

"I was expecting bad, but that I fear, is far far far worse."

@rutttyy01/TikTok

Can't believe she tried to clean it.

Listen, if we're in a relationship, odds are we’ve encountered some of our partner’s weird quirks. Some of those might be cute and loveable, and others might fall into cringe territory.

For Abigheal McClary, there was no question as to which category her fiancé’s truly ghastly pillow, which appeared to have been around "since the dawn of time,” fell into.

"My fiancé has a pillow that is so horribly disgusting that I fear even being in the same bed as it. I fear laying beside it, because I think I could probably catch something from it,” McClary began in a TikTok video. One might assume she’s being a bit hyperbolic (there’s always that one thing of our significant others that gives us the irrational ick, right?) but once you see this horror show of a pillow, you’ll think McClary is being merciful.

Watch:

Dear god, did you even know such a horrid shade of sickly brown existed?!!

"The pillow looks like it coughs constantly,” one person wrote.

Another added, “I’ve never seen a rotten pillow."

All jokes aside—and it probably goes without saying—that this is objectively unsanitary. According to WebMd, pillows should generally be washed once or twice a year, and replaced about every two years. Pillowcases, on the other hand, should be washed weekly, unless they aren’t used nightly, so sayeth Martha Stewart. Not that this heathen uses a pillowcase at all!

Having our faces exposed to unclean pillow night after night not only puts us right in the pathway of respiratory pathogens, but also plenty of acne-causing bacteria. Although, by the grace of god, McClary said in her video that "This man has no pimples on his face laying on this thing ...I have no clue how." Honestly, neither do we. He needs to be studied.

As one person joked, “he doesn’t get pimples because he’s created a micro bioverse that’s evolved so far into the future they must feed on his dead skin cells to continue their micro society…that’s the only explanation.”

Though McClary mentioned that her fiancé wouldn’t let her wash this unsightly pillow, nor put a pillowcase on it (he apparently likes it because “it’s cool on both sides”) she must have talked some sense into him because subsequent videos show her dunking the thing into a bath, using a concoction of bleach, Shout, baking powder, and some other cleaning agents.

 
 @rutttyy01 Pillow update : the pillows journey #fyp #foryoupage #foryou #fypシ ♬ original sound - Abigheal💅🏻 
 
 

Each time, the pillow acted as a giant, heavy teabag, staining the water a murky brown.

However, as fate would have it, McClary put the pillow in a dryer after its soaking, and when she opened the door, there were nothing but shreds.

Folks rightfully guessed that the bleach used in the bath deteriorated the fabric…but in truth, we all suspect the dryer just wanted to put the pillow out of its misery.

“The dryer knew what needed to be done,” one viewer quipped.

 
 @rutttyy01 Pillow update : Tragic # What do yall want to see next? #fyp #foryoupage #foryou #fypシ ♬ original sound - Abigheal💅🏻 
 
 

Hopefully, this acts as a highly entertaining little PSA to please, please, please keep your pillows clean. Otherwise, those who share a bed with you can’t be held responsible for their actions.