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Sex Ed

Sex therapist reveals the 'mistake' couples make on date night before they've even left the house

People are debating the merits of doing the 'deed' before dinner.

marriage, couples, marriage advice, marriage tips, dating advice, love, relationships, relationship advice, sex, divorce
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Going out for dinner, drinks, and dessert might make you feel sleepy; not sexy.

Physical intimacy is important in long term relationships. Somewhere between 15-40 percent of married couples are in what's defined as a "sexless" relationship, meaning it's normal for you to go a month or more without doing the deed. That doesn't mean all those people are unhappy, of course. When couples are on the same page about their frequency, even if it's low, everything can be hunky dory! But it's also often the case that one or more partners want more, and are frustrated. That's not a recipe for a happy relationship, not because the physical act itself is vital, but because a lack of sex usually has root causes like poor communication, less intimacy, or a lack of quality time together. When issues like this pile up and go unaddressed, divorce is a common endpoint.

But almost everyone has experienced those days or evenings where you have the best of intentions, you really do. You've secured a babysitter, carved out time for each other, and put all your ducks in a row for a romantic evening. But after a night out, you're just utterly exhausted! Does that mean you aren't attracted to each other anymore, that you don't love anymore, or that you're on a runaway train to Splitsville?

A sex therapist has one surprising solution for couples to try: Reverse the order of operations.

In other (slightly crass) words, "F*ck first."

marriage, couples, marriage advice, marriage tips, dating advice, love, relationships, relationship advice, sex, divorceIs doing "it" before going out a marriage-saving life hack? Photo by Womanizer Toys on Unsplash

Vanessa Marin is a licensed psychotherapist with 20 years of experience as a sex therapist. She's made it her mission, along with her husband Xander, to help married couples keep their spark alive with really down-to-earth, practical tips shared on social media (and some funny skits, too).

In one recent video, the Marin's challenge everything we thought we knew about date night:

"You're on the way out the door for a sexy date night," the couple narrates. "But stop, you're already doing it wrong."

In the skit, Xander then turns to his wife and cheekily says: "Oh my god, babe. We forgot to f*ck first."

"The whole idea is you have sex before you go out on date night or out to a big party," she says, "because, let's be honest, once you start eating, drinking, staying up late, it's really hard to get excited about having sex after a big night."

She then urges her viewers to try out the little tweak to the usual routine and let her know how it goes.

Warning: This video contains strong language.


@vanessaandxander

Watch this before your next big night out! We’re in the holiday party season—which means eating, drinking, staying up late, and falling asleep before intimacy can happen. 🥺 Use the "F*ck First" rule to increase the likelihood of intimacy. Instead of waiting until the end of the night, prioritize intimacy *before* you go out. 🍷🍽 Think about it—by the time the date's over, most of us feel full, bloated, tipsy, or just plain tired. And honestly, all you probably want to do is crash into bed, right? 😴 By putting intimacy first, you’ll avoid the post-date slump and create a stronger connection for the rest of the evening. 💫 And share this with your partner so they know what you’ll be up to before your next date night! 😏 #relationshiptips #forcouples #marriedlife #datenight #ignitethespark #spicytime

Marin explains in the video that the "f*ck first" rule was initially developed by love and sex columnist Dan Savage.

In an interview with GQ, the famous author of the column Savage Love explained that the concept actually came to him around Valentine's Day, when disappointed couples would email him the day after to ask if their relationship was doomed because they hadn't "consummated" their big evening out with their partner.

Warning: This quote contains even more strong language.

"They got flowers, they got chocolate, they got taken out to dinner, but they didn't [have sex]. And I would look at that trajectory: flowers (who gives a shit), chocolate (I love chocolate), a big heavy romantic meal with wine and crème brulée and everything else... and who wants to f*ck after that? So, if you want to make sure you get f*cked on Valentine's Day, f*ck first, then go out to dinner. ... Then when you go home you won't be going home to performance anxiety or disappointment if nothing happens."

He doesn't mince words, but you can't argue with his logic.

@vanessaandxander

Waiting for secs to “just happen”? 😬 That’s a fast track to frustration and missed connection. Initiating isn’t just about getting things started—it’s about owning your desire, showing your partner you want them, and keeping that spark alive 🔥 When you’re proactive, you’re creating a shared experience—not leaving it up to chance or falling into a one-sided rut. Take the lead. Take up space. Be an equal player in your pleasure. ✨

The video racked up nearly two million views and tons of opinions from people in relationships.

Many agreed with the approach and admitted to practicing it themselves to great results.

"it also builds a great connection for the rest of the night"

"This has worked great for us! Plus if we’re still up for it later… that’s just an added bonus."

"tried it, we just stayed in bed and watched Netflix. 10/10 would recommend."

"My hubby and I have done this for years lol. It’s a great tip!"

"me and my bf call this 'quickie before the function'"

But others felt the "rule" offered up some logistical challenges, especially for parents.

"Explain this to the babysitter for me"

"Nothing like our kids screaming outside our door to really set the mood"

A few commenters had concerns they'd never make it out to dinner if they did this, while others saw it as a perk.

"I can’t go out with my hair and make up ruined," said one.

Of course, falling asleep is always a major concern. Sex is tiring yet relaxing, and releases a combination of neurochemicals that's proven to make us sleepy. So, if you choose to practice this technique, you may wind up missing out on socialization time and the fun bonding you'd planned with your partner.

So, it seems there are no silver bullets for busy couples looking to make more time for intimacy. There will almost always be something getting in the way or fighting for your attention (like kids... always the kids). But if you've got your communication and affection down, and you just need a little extra time and energy, Marin's suggestion might just work wonders for your relationship.

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Joy

5 small things that made us smile this week

Your weekly cheat sheet to the best of the Internet

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Life can be bleak, so we’re going to be celebrating the small joys while we can—whether that’s asweet snack that boosts your mood (courtesy of our friends atAll In), or a picture so incredibly goofy it restores your faith in the algorithm (even if only for a second). These momentary mood boosters are everywhere you look—you just have to be able to find them underneath all the noise. And that’s where we come in.

Consider this weekly web series your cheat sheet to the best of the Internet—not just random memes to make you laugh, but examples of people truly finding something extraordinary in the mundane. Each Friday we'll be delivering five pieces of media that allow you to stop for a second, take a breath, and feel just a little bit brighter among the daily stress. (Think of us as your chronically online bestie who knows exactly how to make you smile, exactly when you need it the most.)

Ready to smile? Here we go.

1. Unplanned triplets 

@murdockmultiples The first of many family reactions to our spontaneous triplet news! Telling my parents we were expecting spontaneous triplets 👶🏻👶🏻👶🏻 And yes my dad didn’t understand that “Baby B” meant twins at first 😂 #spontaneoustriplets #tripletreaction #triplets #murdockmultiples #murdocktriplets #surprisetriplets ♬ original sound - Murdock Multiples

Pregnancy reveals are always fun to watch, but this one is three times as exciting. In this viral TikTok clip, these new grandparents get exciting news when their adult daughter tells them she is pregnant with twins. But wait–there’s more. In what’s probably the shock of their lives, she then reveals that, on second glance, there’s a third baby in there. As in, spontaneous triplets. Three babies. Unplanned. Their reaction is both adorable and totally real: “I don’t even KNOW people with triplets!” Congrats, grandpa–you’re the people, now!

2. Little moments of morning joy

This week, the All In crew is polling people on the streets of New York City about small, everyday things in the morning that bring people joy, from gorgeous greenery to the early morning sun catching the light in just the right way. Just listening to these is making us feel super relaxed.

3. This teacher doing the absolute most for Pride Month

@joey_.veres Mr. Folnsbee the ally that you are @nadipowers @lanie @Fatty ♬ suono originale - 𝙎𝙊𝙁𝙏𝙇𝙔

Meet Mr. Folnsbee, a high school teacher from Horseheads, New York who’s taking Pride Month to the next level. In support of Pride Month (and, presumably, the LGBTQIA+ students at his high school), Folnsbee lets students bedazzle his head with rainbow gemstones—so much so that it looks like a giant, glittering Pride flag. Talk about setting a good example for the next generation!

4. The "goodnight" trend 

@sydsacks I’ve been cracking up at this trend so I made Peter call his besties to say goodnight 🤪 #goodnight #besties ♬ original sound - syd

Calling a friend and wishing them goodnight is a sweet gesture, right? What if the person you were calling was someone you haven’t spoken to in years, or someone with whom you’re just a casual acquaintance? That’s what people are doing in this new TikTok “prank,” and the results are so funny they’ll have you crying. They’re also so sweet, as the responses range from being confused but polite, to wanting to have a long conversation, to being genuinely concerned for the caller’s mental health. It might be a “prank,” but it definitely shows how much we all truly need human connection.

5. Spontaneous street singing

This could only happen in New York City. Instagram users @sabrinakvictor and @thecoryterrell — who were strangers before this video — shared a moment recently on a chance meeting in NYC when the two started singing the exact same song. Watch as the two of them vibe out to "Impossible" by James Arthur and try not to smile or sing along as you watch them (it's actually impossible). The joy here is actually contagious—and the harmonies are on point.

For even more “extra”-ordinary moments, come find us on social media (@upworthy) or on upworthy.com!

For scrumptious snacks that add an extra boost of joy to your day, be sure to check out All In.

Popular

I Googled to see if Maria Von Trapp remarried after Georg died. The result was horrifying.

Having blatantly false information as the top search result is actually a huge problem for us all.

Photo credit: Canva

Google's AI Overview sometimes gets basic facts wrong.

With AI being implemented seemingly everywhere for seemingly everything these days, it wasn't surprising when Google launched its "AI Overview" in the spring of 2024. With messaging like "Generative AI in Search: Let Google do the searching for you" and "Find what you're looking for faster and easier with AI overviews in search results," the expectation is that AI will parse through the search results for you and synopsize the answer.

That sounds great. The problem is, its synopsis is too often entirely wrong. We're not talking just a little misleading or incomplete, but blatantly, factually false. Let me show you an example.

I recently wrote an article about the real-life love story between Maria and Georg Von Trapp, and as part of my research, I found out Georg died 20 years after they married. I hadn't seen anything about Maria remarrying, so I Googled whether she had. Here's what the AI Overview said when I searched last week:

maria von trapp, ai overview results, false information, ai, InternetThis is what Google AI Overview said when I asked how many times Maria Von Trapp had been married. It's wrong.Screenshot via Google

"Maria Von Trapp married twice. First, she married Georg Von Trapp in 1927 and they had 10 children together. After Georg's death, she married Hugh David Campbell in 1954 and had 7 daughters with him. Later, she also married Lynne Peterson in 1969 and had one son and daughter with him."

Something about that didn't add up—and it wasn't just how it said she married twice but then listed three spouses. Maria Von Trapp was born in 1905, so according to the AI Overview, she remarried at 49 years old and had seven more children, and then married again at 64 years old and had another two children. That seems…unlikely.

old woman, elderly, golden girls, women, gifDid Maria Von Trapp have two children in her mid-60s? No. Giphy

So I clicked the link icon on the AI Overview, which took me to the Maria Von Trapp Wikipedia page. On that page, I found a chart where the extra two spouses were listed—but they very clearly weren't hers. Hugh David Campbell was the husband of one of her daughters. Lynn Peterson was the wife of one of her sons.

The fact is that Maria never remarried after Georg died. If I had just run with the AI Overview, I would have gotten it this very basic fact about her life completely wrong. And it's not like it pulled that information from a source that got it wrong. Wikipedia had it right. The AI Overview extrapolated the real information incorrectly.

Ironically, when I Googled "Did Maria Von Trapp remarry after Georg died?" in the middle of writing this article to see if the same result came back, the AI Overview got it right, citing the Upworthy article I wrote. (Yes, I laughed out loud.)

maria von trapp, ai overview results, false information, media, literacyAfter my article was published, the AI Overview cited it while giving the correct answer.Screenshot via Google

This may seem like a lot of fuss over something inconsequential in the big picture, but Maria Von Trapp's marital status is not the only wrong result I've seen in Google's AI Overview. I once searched for the cast of a specific movie and the AI Overview included a famous actor's name that I knew for 100% certain was not in the film. I've asked it for quotes about certain subjects and found quotes that were completely made up.

Are these world-changing questions? No. Does that matter? No.

facts matter, misinformation, disinformation, fact-checking, AIFacts should matter no matter what they are.Giphy GIF by Angie Tribeca

Objective facts are objective facts. If the AI Overview so egregiously messes up the facts about something that's easily verifiable, how can it be relied on for anything else? Since its launch, Google has had to fix major errors, like when it responded to the query "How many Muslim presidents has the U.S. had?" with the very wrong answer that Barack Obama had been our first Muslim president.

Some people have "tricked" Google's AI into giving ridiculous answers by simply asking it ridiculous questions, like "How many rocks should I eat?" but that's a much smaller part of the problem. Most of us have come to rely on basic, normal, run-of-the-mill searches on Google for all kinds of information. Google is, by far, the most used search engine, with 79% of the search engine market share worldwide as of March 2025. The most relied upon search tool should have reliable search results, don't you think?

Even the Google AI Overview itself says it's not reliable:

ai overview results, false information, google reliability, AI, misinformation Google's AI Overview doesn't even trust itself to be accurate.Screenshot via Google

As much as I appreciate how useful Google's search engine has been over the years, launching an AI feature that might just make things up and put them them at the top of the search results feels incredibly irresponsible. And the fact that it still spits out completely (yet unpredictably) false results about objectively factual information over a year later is unforgivable, in my opinion.

We're living in an era where people are divided not only by political ideologies but by our very perceptions of reality. Misinformation has been weaponized more and more over the past decade, and as a result, we often can't even agree on the basic facts much less complex ideas. As the public's trust in expertise, institutions, legacy media, and fact-checking has dwindled, people have turned to alternative sources to get information. Unfortunately, those sources come with varying levels of bias and reliability, and our society and democracy are suffering because of it. Having Google spitting out false search results at random is not helpful on that front.

AI has its place, but this isn't it. My fear is that far too many people assume the AI Overview is correct without double-checking its sources. And if people have to double-check it anyway, the thing is of no real use—just have Google give links to the sources like they used to and end this bizarre experiment with technology that simply isn't ready for its intended use.

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Health

Experts share the 6 things you should remove from your home to make it more serene

"We live finite lives. Be deliberate with them."

Canva

A frustrated woman is decluttering her house.

In the never-ending quest to declutter our homes, cars, and lives, it can sometimes feel like a frustratingly impossible task. So perhaps an easier approach than "throw out everything that doesn't bring you joy" a la Marie Kondo, you could start a bit smaller.

Many interior designers, organizers, and "flow/Feng shui experts" have noted that there are some items that are easier to part with than others. It's a good place to begin and can often make the biggest impact in a space.

Renowned minimalist Joshua Becker, who runs the popular organizing blog Becoming Minimalist, shares his thoughts about the importance of living with intention. He writes, among many mantras, "We live finite lives. Be deliberate with them." With this in mind, his decluttering ideas (spread amongst quite a few YouTube videos) promise to "instantly create more space."

Among his suggestions, one is to remove empty boxes. "We all have them that we keep around just in case," Becker admits. But we likely don't need them. "Recycle them," he insists. Whether it's an old iPhone box or the box for your TV in the junk room, you're never gonna need it.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Secondly, and this is common among many organizing tips, is to open up your kitchen and bathroom pantries and drawers and throw out anything that has expired. It's simple. Expired—toss it. Sure, maybe SOMEDAY you'll need that old Tylenol. But chances are, a newer one will get the job done better.

A third recommendation is to let go of mismatched or chipped kitchenware. This goes for Tupperware without lids, as well. Donate it and keep only what you need. Interestingly, this tip made it onto another list for a different reason. In a piece for Woman and Home, digital lifestyle writer Emily Smith suggests the angle is less about space and more about flow. The piece quotes Feng shui expert Denise O'Dwyer, who shares, "Chipped, broken, or unused plates and cups all drain your personal Qi, or energy, and obstruct the positive energy within your space."

plates, dishware, broken plates, declutter, homeA white, broken plate sitting on top of a wooden table. Photo by Elanchezhian Narayanasamy on Unsplash

In keeping with the Feng shui angle, O'Dwyer also suggests getting rid of most items that conjure up negative or painful memories. "Holding onto items associated with negative memories or unresolved emotions can keep you anchored to the past, preventing personal growth and inviting negative Qi into your space."

Another easy fix to help bring serenity to your home? Get rid of unused or broken clocks. In fact, it's considered bad luck, or at worst, tacky, to give a clock to someone in China. Shared on the beijinger blog, "Giving someone a clock can be a big mistake, as the pronunciation of clock (钟表 zhōng biǎo) is homophonic to ending, termination, or death (终 zhōng), and can be especially offensive to older people, suggesting that you are praying for their death."

clocks, dancing clocks, time, decluttering, rudenessClocks dancing in a film. Giphy Warner Archive

O'Dwyer concurs and explains that broken or unused clocks are "believed to symbolize a stagnant concept of time and hinder progress. They can create a sense of pressure, reminding us of time passing without purpose. Repair or replace broken clocks and remove unused ones to encourage a healthier relationship with time."

Making nearly every list we perused on this topic? Unused clothing. This one can be tough because trends are always popping up again. Seventies bellbottoms became 90's flare jeans and lo and behold, they're back. But in a "Decluttering checklist" piece for Home and Gardens writer and content editor Chiana Dickson share wisdom from organization expert Jessica Litman, writing, "If you’re wanting to declutter your clothes fast, but struggling to make decisions, try items on and ask yourself how it makes you feel. There’s nothing worse than wearing clothes you don’t feel good in, so if that’s the case, remove it from your closet straightaway."


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Science

Frugal people share 30 things they stopped buying completely to save money

There's so much we buy and use simply out of habit.

Image via Canva

Frugal people open up about how they save money.

Saving money is never a bad thing. And for those looking for economical solutions for how to cut back on spending, a smart place to start is taking an inventory of your spending habits and what you buy.

In an online forum of frugal people, member TS1664 posed the question to fellow savvy financial members: "What’s something you stopped buying completely and don’t miss at all?"

They continued, "For me it’s paper towels. Switched to rags and microfiber cloths a year ago and haven’t looked back. I used to go through a roll a week without thinking, now I just toss the cloths in with regular laundry. Saves money and space."

And they ended the post with some more insight. "It made me realize how many things I was buying out of habit, not need. What things others have cut out completely that turned out to be no big deal or even better without. Could use some inspiration!"

The callout garnered some excellent real-life advice from frugal people. These are 30 things that thrifty people shared they stopped buying completely that helped save them money.

save money, saving money, money habits, money advice, savingMake It Rain Money GIF by A Little Late With Lilly SinghGiphy

"Dryer sheets." Super-Examination594

"Starbucks - bought an espresso machine, took some time to learn how to dial it in and pull a proper shot. It’s been 4+ Years and don’t miss it one bit." Fox_137

"Makeup! Used to wear it every day and buy tons of it to try new products and such. Now I only wear it for special occasions. It works great — even just a little bit of makeup really pops when you hardly ever wear any." VerschwendeMeineZeit

"Soda. Too expensive now. Pre-pandemic, sometimes Kroger would have a sale (4) 12-packs for $10." NotJimIrsay

"Cigarettes 😊." rickety_picket

bottled water, bottled waters, water, plastic water bottle, water martial arts water GIFGiphy

"Bottled water." WorriedPermission872

"Most fast food but especially McDonald's and bk. When I paid $20 for two adults' meals, it stopped making sense, and I'll cook better burgers and better sides fries at home for less." diegothengineer

"Cable tv subscription." nombreusuario

"Pizza delivery service. Frozen meals are just as unhealthy, but much cheaper." The_Keri2

"We started our pizza making journey by buying dough (under $2) at trader joe's. it really lowered the barrier to entry. once we kind of perfected the bake etc, we started playing with dough recipes until we found one we loved. it sounds painful but it was a good learning experience and fun to do together." suddenlymary

candles, candle, scented candle, buying candles, glass candlechristmas sniffs GIF by TargetGiphy

"I stopped buying scented candles. I used to grab them all the time on impulse, but they’re expensive, don’t last that long, and honestly gave me headaches half the time. Now I just open a window or boil some citrus peels with cloves if I want the place to smell nice." HollisWhitten

"Cigarettes and nicotine pouches! Been smoke free since august 2021 and pouch free since July 2024 :)." HueLord3000

"Amazon Prime. We stopped paying for the privilege of shopping and making money for Bozo. Now, we just put stuff in the cart until there is enough for free shipping. I don’t miss Prime, I never found anything on Prime video I wanted to watch once that wasn’t a rental. We live in a rural village, so online is cheaper than driving 25 to 50 miles to a store." cwsjr2323

lottery, lotto, lottery ticket, scratch off, scratch offsAnimation Scratch Off GIFGiphy

"Lottery tickets." evissamnoisis

"Hair color. I’ve embraced the gray!" phishinfordory

"I’ll add sandwich bread. I started making my own. It costs just over $1 for me to make a small loaf that’s just enough for the 2 of us for a week. Plus no additives or preservatives." BeerWench13TheOrig

"Books. I go to the library." Significant-Emu1855

library, library card, library book, books, readingDog Glasses GIF by County of Los AngelesGiphy

"Broth. Have an ongoing 'broth bag' going in the freezer. Once I run out of frozen broth cubes, I make another round." Colorfulplaid123

"New clothes from shops! I'm now a charity shop and Vinted gal, my clothes are so much better quality and I spend less." CorinaPhoto

"Bidet toilet seat is cheap, easy to install, much easier and faster to use, and most importantly will keep you far cleaner while not wasting any toilet paper." hopopo

"Menstrual products. Bought a menstrual cup back in 2016 and have not looked back." simply-misc

"Chip clips. I buy cheap old wooden clothespins! Works great and if they break, no biggie. It’s $2 for 24. I also use clear shower caps for dishes I have no lids for or it’s something that can’t have a lid, like deviled eggs. I use the shower caps. Much cheaper than those bowl covers they sell 8-12 in a pack for $1.25. Those bowl covers are kind of pricey and you get 1 large and 2 mediums and a bunch of tiny ones!!" Florida1974

alcohol, quit alcohol, drinks, pour out, drinkingPour One Out Malt Liquor GIFGiphy

"Alcohol." Fit_Artichoke_523

"Baked beans in the can, I literally keep everything on hand to make it so it was an excess purchase. Instant rice packs, I make regular rice, 20 minutes is not that long 😆 We keep getting gifted napkins but we don’t purchase them." Miss_Pouncealot

"Soap in a pump bottle. Switched to bars (Costco). So much value, less trash and plastic, and a better experience. Why did we invent pump bottle soap??" thebiglebowskiisfine



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Shopping

People share 30 things they bought for under $300 that have significantly improved their lives

"A wagon for groceries! OMG!"

Image via Canva

People share affordable products under $300 they use daily that have significantly improved their lives.

Frugal shoppers are always on the lookout for good deals to save money. And buying items on a budget that actually prove to be good quality and truly useful is a rare combination.

In a Reddit forum, member @MedfordQuestions posed the question: "What’s something you bought (under $300) that noticeably improved your quality of life and you actually use every day?"

Smart shoppers happily shared the best buys they've made that have had the biggest impact and improvement on their day to day lives. These are 30 of the best products under $300 people use daily that have significantly improved their lives.

shopping, bargain, buying, buy it, shopIll Take It Brandon Scott Jones GIF by CBSGiphy

"Tons of answers, but today I'm saying curved shower rod. Cost maybe $15 but it pretty much added two full feet of space at shoulder-height and my shower doesn't feel claustrophobic anymore." —@far_tie923

"75 yr old retired lady with my car parked away from my condo front door. A wagon for groceries! OMG! Thankful for it every time I use it. Also, it came in really handy taking my toddler great-niece for her first Trick or Treat!" —@pook1029

"Surprisingly, an electric toothbrush. I kinda thought they were a waste of money until I got one for Christmas about 8 years ago They actually do an incredibly good job." —@STLGentleman111

electric toothbrush, electric toothbrushes, electric toothbrush gif, dental, dentistCamera Teeth GIF by Big Brother 2022Giphy

"A vacuum robot - especially if you have pets. An air purifier - stopped sneezing every morning as soon as I woke up. Automatic cat feeder - now I just refill (and provide wet food) and its easier to control portions." —@catfvb

"A good ergonomic desk chair. Didn’t realize how much my back was suffering until I upgraded total game changer." —@Nintengodboi

"Noise-canceling headphones. They give me peace of mind whenever I need a break from everything." —@UsefulIdiot85

noise cancelling, noise cancelling headphones, headphones, cancel noise, no noiseSeason 6 Headphones GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy

"Leatherman multi-tool. It has saved me in so many situations and is essential when I'm at work." —@Quicky-mart

"Blackout curtains for my room. Absolutely improves my sleep quality, especially during the times of the year when the sun rises earlier." —@lilmemer3132

"I started taking vitamin d3 5000iu daily (with magnesium and vitamin k2 for absorption) because i read it'll help my psoriasis. Didn't help my psoriasis, but my lower back pain was gone. Like poof, disappeared. This might not work for everybody, but it worked for me. All for some cheap vitamins." —@uncultured_swine2099

socks, matching socks, spongebob, buy socks, new socksspongebob socks GIFGiphy

"Throw out all your socks and buy a bunch of identical ones. Never have to worry about matching again." —@DismissDaniel

"A really good pillow!" —@Sunlover67

"For me it was my walking pad for under my desk when I WFH! I am obsessed with it. Before I would sit all day and then feel rushed to immediately get outside and moving after work. Now I walk while I work and have so much more time to do stuff with friends and family after work because I'm multi tasking. I'm also the leanest I've ever been!" —@FairCandyBear

walking pad, walking pad gif, home walking pad, indoor walking pad, stepsMotherhood GIF by mom culture®Giphy

"A fitbit. Since I bought my first fitbit ~7 years ago, I move more overall, am much more active, and feel better. Proof? I'm currently on a 1673-day streak of >10K steps/day, my base heartrate is 53, and I'm 70 years old." —@DrGail106

"I have 3 laundry baskets in my trunk for shopping and groceries. It’s much easier to carry in a real full basket than lots of bags. I also find it helps in keeping my car organized and I get to organize the baskets when I put the groceries in the cars." —@morningchampagne

"I recently bought a charger with two USB-C ports and one USB port. I love the flexibility of charging my phone, watch, and something else with one box!" —@TrumpetsGalore4

good sleep, pillows, pillow, cuddle pillow, sleepsleep gifGiphy

"Pillows between your legs. I use a king at 6’0 and adjust based on if my knees like it more if the whole body. The amount of stress it takes off your hips and back is ridiculous. Also a cuddle pillow, which is what I call a super soft pillow I wrap my arms around. Great for your shoulder, and also, obviously, great to cuddle." —@BooksandBiceps

"Kindle. I got mine maybe a month before covid hit and it really helped to keep me entertained during lockdown. I've read over 100 books per year since getting it." —@steff-you

"Coffee mug warmer. Daily at work. It’s the little things." —@ChrisShapedObject

bidet, bidets, bidet gif, bidet toilet, bidet vs toilethomer simpson episode 23 GIFGiphy

"Bidet is THE answer in the summer especially." —@Resident_Letter_214

"Bought a weighted blanket and my sleep improved 100%." —@Single-Zombie-2019

"Adopted my dog for £165 from the shelter. Pure joy every single day." —@Urban_Peacock

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People share the most embarrassing things they've ever said and the cringe is delightful

A psychologist explains why those moments stick in our minds.

en.m.wikipedia.org

A photo ofJohnny Depp in 2020.

There's never a dearth of cringe when it comes to the embarrassing stories we all (or at least most of us) have. In sharing those stories, maybe we can't completely mend humanity, but it's nice to not feel so alone.

So, I'll start. I went to the premiere of the movie Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street on the Paramount lot many years ago. The film's star, Johnny Depp, was making the rounds with his publicist and they were almost to my tiny table. My breath got shallow, my eyes watered from anxiety. My boyfriend at the time told me to "chill"—which always helps a person chill. I did not chill. He said, "Just tell him you liked the movie." I thought, yes, that's what I'll say. But when we were finally face to face, I completely panicked. And instead of something appropriate like "How 'bout that Sondheim?" I said, and this is exact, "We're both wearing hats." He looked at me, gently, and agreed that yes, we were both wearing hats. I added, now feeling more at ease, "They are brown hats."

Johnny Depp, brown hat, premiere, movie star, celebrityJohnny Depp at Pirates of the Caribbean event | Andy ...www.flickr.com

I couldn't make eye contact with my boyfriend the entire ride home.

There are so many online threads dedicated to embarrassing things people have said over the years. You know, the ones that stick in your mind, well…forever. In the r/AskReddit thread, someone simply posited, "What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever said or done?"

The replies range from adorable to downright high-alert awkwardness. Cutely, this person shares, "I once called my teacher 'dad' once."

Also in school, but less wholesome, this person had an oopsie in Home Economics. "In middle school cooking class we had to come up with the name of our fake restaurant in groups. We decided on the Chum Bucket from SpongeBob. I had to go type it in to be displayed on the giant screen—yep, I typed 'C-- Bucket' on accident. I don’t think I even knew what that word meant yet."

spongebob, cartoons, happy dance, Nickelodeon, cringeGIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy Nickelodeon

And since we're talking about school days, here's one more from my personal vault. In 9th grade, Brian, on whom I had the biggest crush, offered to walk me from World History to English—complete with carrying my bookbag, like it was the 1950s. I struggled to find anything to say, as I was so nervous, and finally, after wracking my brain, asked, "So what school do you go to?" I asked this of the guy carrying my books in the SCHOOL WE WENT TO.

A few other Redditors got racy with their confessions. "Let someone use my phone to look up something. Forgot the last thing I did was watch porn and that was the tab that was open." A Redditor responded to that with, "One time I forgot to close the tab, got in my car with my buddy, my phone auto-connected to Bluetooth... you see where I'm going with this."

And this one takes the spatula. "I accidentally spanked my fiancé in front of his mother." (It's later explained she didn't realize the mother was in the room.)

Now here's a sweet one that could happen to anyone. "Once, I was talking to someone I thought was a long-lost friend, and I went on about how much I missed them. Turns out, it was a complete stranger who just had the same name. I still think about how red my face was when I realized."

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Psychologist David J. Hallford explains in his Psychology Today article "Why Do I Remember Embarrassing Things I've Done... and why do I feel ashamed all over again?" that these thoughts and feelings are common. "We’ve all done it—you’re walking around going about your business and suddenly you’re thinking about that time in high school you said something really stupid you would never say now."

But digging into why these memories pop up is rather interesting. "Memories might share a type of context (different beaches you’ve been to, restaurants you’ve eaten at), occur at similar periods of life (childhood, high school years), or have emotional and thematic overlap (times we have felt close to or argued with others)." In other words, as our brains were developing, synapses connected and emotions ran high. That explains why so many "embarrassing" memories seem to come from our younger years.

That, and well, wearing a hat with Johnny Depp.

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