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A viral TikTok argues that women don't want to give up the joy of their own personal peace and freedom for anyone.

There's been a lot of discourse on the state of modern dating and a lot of theories on why it seems harder than ever for people to find connection with romantic partners. Could it be that the achievement and education gaps between men and women are altering the dynamics? Have social media and dating apps broken our brains and hearts? Do we all have unrealistic expectations and unlimited options, leading to never feeling satisfied with anything or anyone?

Those are all intriguing options, but an alternate theory has recently arisen that's quickly gaining steam: Maybe being single isn't as lonely as we think. Maybe being single is actually freaking awesome.

A guy on TikTok who goes by Get To the Point Bro shared a hilarious monologue on why women who have been single for a long time "don't want to date anymore." Women say he absolutely nailed it.

 the office, andy bernard, dating, relationships, dating advice, single, romance, love The Frenchman's monologue was absolutely spot on  Giphy  

At first, it might seem like he's poking fun, either at single women or at the men who can't seem to win them over. But not so! What he's done is perfectly captured the joy many people find in being single and, frankly, able to do whatever the hell they want.

"Some women have been single for so long they don't date anymore, they grant you access to their peaceful little empire like a reluctant queen handing you a visitor's badge," he says. "You text her good morning and she's already annoyed, like 'Why are you disturbing the sacred silence of my personal growth journey?'"

He goes on, "Bro she's been sleeping diagonally in her bed for three years, she's not giving up that territory because you opened the door and paid for coffee."

"You plan a cute date, she's thinking 'That sounds nice but also I could stay home, deep clean my apartment, do a 12 steps skincare routine, order sushi and not have to listen to a man breathe.'"

"You try to check in emotionally, 'How are you feeling?' She's feeling fantastic because you're not here."

"You're not competing with other guys. There are no other guys. You're competing with her weighted blanket, her peace, her cat named Chairman Meow, and the simple joy of not having to share her fries."

These are just a few of the best lines from the nearly 2-minute rant, all delivered in the most amazing French accent you can imagine. Please, enjoy:


@gettothepointbro

DATING A GIRL WHO IS USED TO BE ALONE CAN BE VERY HARD .

The best thing about the video is the discussion in the comments. Women want to know how this man got access to this top-secret information. The rant is so eerily, frighteningly accurate that women are convinced this French guy is living in their heads. That, or someone's secretly leaking intel.

"dammit. somebody call a meeting of the council. he knows too much."

"I dont often offer this compliment to the male species but you explained it better than I ever could."

"Alright, who’s told him this info??? So exposed right now"

"The joy of sleeping diagonally across my bed cannot be fully explained."

"This is the most accurate profiling I’ve ever heard. You absolutely ailed it."

Clearly, we've tapped into a real phenomenon here.

@gettothepointbro

CAN YOU RELATE LADIES ? THAT’S WHY WE LOVE YOU ❤️

The truth is that many people—both men and women—are disillusioned with the sad state of the dating scene these days. App burnout is a real thing, and meeting new people in real life is a ton of work. So, it's no surprise that more and more people are just choosing to stay single and enjoy all the perks that come along with it. This is a stark change, especially for women.

According to FiveThirtyEight, "Women were also more likely than men to say that they weren’t dating because they have other priorities right now." Priorities like travel, career, friendship, and even just self-care—all things that wind up taking a backseat when people get involved in relationships. It wasn't too long ago that women of a certain age that were still single were called "spinsters," but that word has lost a significant amount of power. This new generation of women aren't embarrassed or ashamed to be single; they're loving it for exactly all the reasons this video describes.

This article originally appeared in April.

via @Book_Mama/TikTok
Cayce LaCorte explains why virginity doesn't exist.

The concept of virginity is a very loaded issue in American culture. If a woman loses hers when she's too young she can be slut-shamed. If a man remains a virgin for too long, he can be bullied for not being manly enough. There is also a whole slew of religious mind games associated with virginity that can give people some serious psychological problems associated with sex.

Losing one's virginity has also been blown up way beyond proportion. It's often believed that it's a magical experience—it's usually not. Or that after having sex for the first time people can really start to enjoy living life—not the case. What if we just dropped all of the stigmas surrounding virginity and instead, replaced them with healthy attitudes toward sex and relationships?

Writer Cayce LaCorte is going viral on TikTok for the simple way she's taught her five daughters to think about virginity: They don't have to.


 virginity, viral tiktok, parenting girls, mom, girls, parenting, motherhood, sex, dating, teens, love Lessons in "purity' unfortunately start very young for many girls.  Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash  

LaCorte shared her parenting ideas on TikTok in response to mom-influencer Nevada Shareef's question: "Name something about the way you raised your kids that people think is weird but you think is healthy."

"I'm gonna get a lot of shit for this, but what are you gonna do?" she said in the video. "I'm raising my five daughters to believe that there is no such thing as virginity."



When it comes to explaining the "why," LaCorte had some extremely strong words on the matter.

"It is a patriarchal concept used to control women and serves no purpose other than making women feel bad about ourselves," she explained. "Just because some guy randomly sticks his penis in you at some point in your life, it does not change your worth. It does not change who you are. It doesn't do anything other than it happened."

LaCorte isn't wrong. Many cultures place a high value on virginity, almost always on female virginity, and the concept is heavily linked with male-ownership and tracking male-lineage. In the middle ages, it was widely believed that if a man had sex with a woman, that he "owned" her and any man shown to have married a "false virgin" was entitled to compensation. The methods for determining and proving virginity were barbaric and akin to the Salem witch trials. Safe to say, there wasn't a lot of due process available for women then!

The mom also responded to those who may criticize her for encouraging promiscuity.

"Sex is important. It's a big deal; it should always be a big deal. It has nothing to do with your first time. It's just ridiculous. The whole concept is ridiculous," the video explained. We can teach our kids to value sex and be extremely careful about who they share physical intimacy without tying in outdated ideas of purity, or that something will be "lost" after they engage in sex.

 virginity, viral tiktok, parenting girls, mom, girls, parenting, motherhood, sex, dating, teens, love You don't "lose" anything when you have sex for the first time.  Giphy  

LaCorte also believes that sex shouldn't be so closely associated with one's moral character. In other words, so what if someone is promiscuous? Does having a lot of sexual partners make you a bad person? Again, it's a double-standard applied far more heavily to girls. Men who have lots of sex are revered for it.

"I'm raising them to be good people and have solid foundations and make their own choices and make intelligent choices. Not because some book says not to," she concluded the video.

The video made a lot of people realize that virginity is so ingrained in our society that the concept is rarely questioned.

"I never really thought about this to be honest," one commenter wrote. "I will absolutely be adopting this!! Thank you for sharing."

"I have 2 girls, and I think this is how I will teach them when they are older. This would have made me feel more self worth when I was younger," Samantha wrote.

 virginity, viral tiktok, parenting girls, mom, girls, parenting, motherhood, sex, dating, teens, love Women are judged for losing their virginity; men are mocked for failing to do so.  Giphy  

LaCorte's comments about women and virginity need to be heard. But there should also be more discussion around how men also fight the stigma associated with virginity.

Another user added, "The boys need to hear this too - we need to change the conversation and misconception," making the astute point that boys are mocked for not having sex, or for not having enough of it. For kids all of sexes and genders, we need to remove the idea that being a virgin, or not, has any sort of weight on your value as a human being.

There's an unwritten law that says men must lose their virginity by the age of 18 or by at least 21 or that somehow they are less of a man. For men that are virgins into their 20s, "Sex goes from being something to be enjoyed to a giant monolith of titanic proportions that casts a shadow over everything they do and who they are," dating coach Harris O'Malley writes.

Sex is a tricky issue that everyone should be able to approach in their own way, at their own time. It's great that LaCorte's video has gone viral for illustrating the fact that virginity is just another obstacle on the road to sexual maturity that shouldn't factor into whether we decide to have sex or not.

This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

via X
Couples who met after 30.

A lot of emotions rise to the surface after being dumped. It can leave a person feeling sad, lonely, confused, rejected and left with a sense that you’ll never find anyone again. People tend to think, “If that person couldn’t stick it out with me, then who will?” However, most of the time, it’s irrational worry. There are more than a few billion people on the planet to choose from, you just gotta put yourself out there. But that’s a hard thing to hear when your feelings are still raw.

A study reported by The New York Times found that today, the old “plenty of fish in the sea” cliche is growing truer by the day. We are nearing a point where there will be more unmarried adults in the U.S. than those who have tied the knot. The most recent Census data shows the share of American adults who were neither married nor living with a significant other had risen to 46.4%. That lines up with the demographics of dating app users; about 63% of the millions and millions of users are over 30.

So good news for you single folks, the dating pool just keeps getting deeper. Still, that doesn't mean it feels that way when you're in the thick of it.

kelsey huse, marriage after 30, real stories, love stories, marriage, love, relationships, dating, dating apps, relationshipsFirst dates are intimidating, especially as we get older. Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

In 2020, Kelsey Huse, a software engineer from Austin, Texas, broke up with her boyfriend and at the age of 30, felt like she was never going to meet anyone again.

It's an understandable feeling. Our culturally accepted notion of love is that you're going to meet the love of your life in college or your early 20s. After that, you'll be lucky to settle for companionship. Huse wanted to know if there was any hope in her future.

“My bf broke up with me this week and I just wanna hear happy stories of ppl who found their partner in their 30s thanks,” she wrote on X.

Huse received an avalanche of responses from people who shared pictures and stories about how they met their special people in their 30s and later, giving her plenty of hope for the future. Her tweet went mega-viral earning nearly 7,000 retweets and 150,000 likes.

Here are some of the best responses.

"I strongly believe getting married in your 20s should be illegal. Sort of kidding, but I met my husband at 32 at a funeral. We make each other laugh just by being ourselves. He is the kindest person I know. We celebrated our 13 year wedding anniversary this year," one user wrote.

"I met my wife in my 30’s and we got married in our 40’s. Love her," added another.


Stories poured in by the dozens to prove that, yes, it really is possible to not only date close to and after 30, but to find love, and even to find the love of your life.

That's not to say that dating after 30 doesn't have its challenges and differences. Experts recommend re-evaluating your approach as you get older. In your 30s it's probably time to ditch the games and be more direct about what you want. Don't waste time with people who don't want the same things in life and love as you, but you'll also have to learn to give people some grace and patience — everyone has scars and warts at this age, including you.

Huse couldn't believe the incredible responses she received and better yet, that they really did lift her spirits.


kelsey huse, marriage after 30, real stories, love stories, marriage, love, relationships, dating, dating apps, relationshipsYes, even us elder-millennials can meet someone new and fall in love at any point in life. Photo by Sean Stratton on Unsplash

Huse may not have known it at the time, but breaking up at 30 may have been a blessing in disguise. Studies show that people who get married later in life have better mental health than those who get hitched at a younger age.

According to family ecology researcher Matt Johnson, those who married at the same age as or later than their peers reported higher levels of happiness and self-esteem—and less depression—than those who married early.

"People who marry early tend not to get as much education, have kids earlier than is optimal, and as a result get locked into careers they hadn't aspired to. In mid-life they're a little more depressed—or have a lower sense of self-worth—not because they violated some societal norm, but because they started down the path to family life early,” Johnson said.

Huse's story shows that there is no time frame for love and that it’s possible to find the perfect person well after the age of 30. It also shows that even though Twitter/X gets a deserved bad rap for being a pretty hostile environment, every once in a while people come together to do something beautiful.

This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

Joy

Woman in hysterics after learning why her Hinge date thought she was 'blind'

"Sorry, I hope you don't mind me asking, are you blind?"

A woman laughing at her computer.

Online dating is full of pitfalls. People can be picky and superficial, and if you can set up a date, you’re lucky if they look like the person in the picture. As if that weren’t enough, when you’re communicating over an app, there can be a lot of misunderstandings.

Becky_cxx, a woman in England who is very candid about her dating life on TikTok, had a hilarious misunderstanding with a potential suitor, and many understand how the mix-up happened from her photos. "You ain't gonna believe this," Becky began her video. "Some guy has just messaged me on Hinge saying, 'Sorry, I hope you don't mind me asking, are you blind?'" Becky said, totally blown away by the assumption. “What do you mean, ‘Am I blind?’”

@becky_cxx

I am dead 💀 🤣🤣🤣😅😭 #fup #fyp #foruyou #foryoupage #funny #relatable #dating #hinge

The man gave a pretty solid reason why he made that assumption. "A few reasons. But the main one is I thought that was a stick in your second-to-last photo,” the man said, referencing a photo that Becky took by a bridge where she appears to be holding a white cane, or a stick, as the English say.

"Let me show you the picture," she said. "It's London Bridge. That is a light, not a white stick.” It’s clear from the photo that she is standing next to a light resembling the white cane a blind person would use. The bright light also looks a bit like she’s holding a lightsaber, which would be great if she were into dating nerds.

In a follow-up video, Becky shared the other reasons he thought she may be blind, and he’s not wrong. She is wearing very large sunglasses in one photo, and in the others, she doesn’t look at the camera. Becky insists they are meant to be candid, but that doesn’t help her case. It is totally reasonable, from her photos, to think that she is visually impaired.

@becky_cxx

Time for a refresh x #fup #foru #foruyou #foryoupage #funny #relatable #funnytiktok.

The man’s mistake made Becky rethink her experience on Hinge. Could her photos have turned off countless men who weren’t ready to date someone who is blind? "I've got a complex. Do I look...Have I made myself look like something I'm not? I don't know. Is this why I'm getting no matches? I can't believe it, honestly. Is this my sign to just delete? I'm lost for words, genuinely," she said.

The sweet part is that the man didn’t mind whether she was blind or not. “Of course, it wouldn't be a problem if you were,” he wrote. This alone is reason enough to consider going out on a date with him.

Given the picture, many people thought that the man was right to assume that she used a cane to walk. "I’m sorry, but the reason he gave was valid," the most popular commenter wrote. "Now you’ve shown the photo, I can’t unsee it," another added. Another thought the fact he noticed the potential cane was a green flag. "I cackled. At least he bothered looking at your profile, and he’s perceptive," they wrote.