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Gen Z, millennial, Gen X? Experts reveal who has the 'deepest' conversations on a first date.

Sorry, Boomers!

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An older man uses his landline. A younger woman looks perplexed.

When it comes to dating, one through-line exists among generations: people are looking to connect. Now, the length of connection may vary—as might the intensity. Some call it love, some call it sex, some call it just "hanging out." But it's connection either way.

In a study conducted by Zoosk, researchers claim to have "analyzed over 5.7 million profiles and surveyed more than 4,000 daters." Alongside dating expert Haley Quinn, they even talked to people on the streets of London to get their opinion on what seems to be quite a definitive difference in generational dating styles.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Before we get into the differences, let's first note the similarities. In the post, "How does your generation date?" therapist Nancy Ryan, LMFT, points out that Boomers, Gen X, and a good portion of millennials actually existed before the Internet and dating apps. "A simpler time of landlines, answering machines, and nosy parents who loosely cupped the receiver while yell-whispering, 'It’s a boy!'"

Another common theme? All the dating generations (at least in the survey) overall prefer their first meeting to be a "coffee date." (Some, of course, disagree—but across the board, this polled high, perhaps implying it's best to keep it short, sweet, and non-committal before actually moving forward with someone.) Also according to the study, "Over 80% of daters across all generations think holding the door open for your date is a romantic gesture!" Chivalry is alive and well.

That said, there are unique differences between generations, as dating norms have evolved over time. Wherein there used to be "rules" set by many Boomers and the generations before them, things have changed. "People are freer to follow their heart," Ryan writes. This isn't to say each generation doesn't push their own set of proposed guidelines, with TikTokers and Insta influencers especially dictating advice like "Don't call, never double text," etc. But each age group is a bit less dogmatic than in past years.

One distinguishable—but not surprising—difference is that Boomers prefer a phone chat to texting. This number decreases as the age is lowered. "The majority of Baby Boomers (60%) like to call to arrange a date. This is 13% more than Generation X, 25% more than millennials, and 26% more than Generation Z." Also in descending order is how chatty a first online message is. Boomers say the most, with Gen Z usually messaging the least. (Think: Sup. How u?)

But when it comes to getting deep, there is one generation who takes the cake—and that's Generation X. This was measured in the amount of texts that go back and forth between potential daters, noting they're not just one-word questions and answers. A little more meat on the bones, so to speak.

Some attribute this to your everyday existential crisis hitting some Gen X-ers (and older millennials) right now. Also, possibly being the latchkey baby-busters that they are, maybe they just have a bit more time to get into the "heavy" stuff.

@thirdactunscripted

Does this resonate with you? I want to know how many people out there are starting their third act! Opportunity is knocking! It’s time to seize the day. #opportunity #seizetheday #thirdact #nextchapter #newbeginnings #newlife #thirdactunscripted #genx #genxwomen

Naturally, this isn't a one-size-fits-all. Any person of any age, any gender, any sexual orientation doesn't just fit into a box, no matter how many polls are conducted. Gen Zers (and yes, Boomers and all other generations) can and do "go deep," as well. But again, as the generation who didn't necessarily have the tools to discuss trauma, were often left to their own devices, and experienced exponential change in the landscape of the world in a really short amount of time—maybe they just simply want to TALK about it.

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Humor

Men share 30 women's habits they had no idea about until they actually lived with a woman

"Similar to cats, they naturally gravitate to the warmest parts of the house."

Photo credit: Canva

These all seem to ring true.

While we are moving away from the rigidly binary “men are from Mars, women are from Venus,” mentality, we all know that each gender tends to have its own special quirks. And often, unless we grew up with a bunch of siblings from the opposite sex, we don’t learn what those quirks are until we move in with a significant other. Truly, it can feel like observing the daily ritual of another species entirely.

Recently, men were asked to open up about the womanly habits they had no idea were a thing until they got a girlfriend. Their answers were funny, sweet, and (not to speak for all women, but…) totally relatable. I’m certainly guilty of every single one of these.

Keep reading to see what the fellas said:

1. “She talks to herself when she blowdries her hair. Every time, and only then. Due to the noise of the dryer, I can't understand what she's saying, but she really goes on. Once she stops drying, she stops talking. Happens every day.”

living with a woman, men vs women, women's skincare, moving in, relationships, beauty routineA woman blowdrying her hairPhoto credit: Canva

2. “Anything that comes in a mini size is called cute. Mini bullet = cute. Mini Machete = cute. Doesn’t matter what it is as long as it’s mini.”

3. "Similarly to cats, they naturally gravitate to the warmest parts of the house. It might be the cozy chair, a heated blanket, or the bed section I was just lying in. I'm honestly unsure if she loves me or just my excess heat (and I'm honestly OK either way)."

4. “The "everything" shower.”

5. “Common areas which can be seen by guests: SPOTLESS. Their personal space that closes that cannot be seen by guests: FUCKING DISASTER.”

living with a woman, men vs women, women's skincare, moving in, relationships, beauty routineA woman in a closetPhoto credit: Canva

6. “First time I moved in with a partner I certainly wasn't ready for the transformation my bathroom counter was about to go through.”

7. “I don't know if it's women in general, but my wife sheds clothes like a snake around the house. You can find evidence of exactly where she became uncomfortable and how much, depending on if the discarded clothes are in a small pile or strewn around the room.”

8. “How much time and effort they spend curating style. The reason they call “shopping” a whole hobby is bc half the time they aren’t even buying anything. They’re spending hours just browsing (online or at a store) just concocting aesthetics in their heads and brainstorming new looks or ideas. Meanwhile I’ve been wearing the same 8 shirts and 8 pairs of pants for the last ten years.”

living with a woman, men vs women, women's skincare, moving in, relationships, beauty routineOnline shoppingPhoto credit: Canva

9. “That skincare was such a big deal. I think before I met my wife, I used to just use soap on my face, which almost gave her an aneurysm. Meanwhile, she is using about 5000 products in the morning and night on her face (snail something was the strangest one).After 7 years together she managed to get me using cleanser and moisturizer. I still can't tell the difference.”

10. “3 foot tall piles of clothes on the ground I’d assume are dirty but apparently they’re not? But at the same time some are dirty? I guess? Idfk.”

11. "The fact that they take showers with boiling water. I'll occasionally try to be a little spontaneous with my wife and sneak in the shower with her. First, I must locate the shower because I can't see a foot in front of me due to all the steam. When I finally step in, I must use her as a human shield until she turns the temperature down."

living with a woman, men vs women, women's skincare, moving in, relationships, beauty routineA hot showerPhoto credit: Canva

12. "They never finish their drinks. I find two cups of half-drunken coffee scattered around the house multiple times a week until we run out of coffee cups."

13. "She takes her bra off at the end of the day the same way I take my belt off my jeans when I get home. It is with the force of a thousand suns and a sigh of relief."

14. "Women have a million black hair ties and also none."

living with a woman, men vs women, women's skincare, moving in, relationships, beauty routineHair tiesPhoto credit: Canva

15. “A compulsive need to squeeze blackheads and tweeze [rogue] hairs. Sometimes, she will be scratching my back or scalp, and I think, hey, this is wonderful. I wonder what I did to deserve this, and then out of nowhere, I feel like I've become the victim of 1,000 fire ants."

16. "That a 5-foot-tall, 100-pound woman can take up an entire king-size bed."

17. "My wife pulls on the toilet paper roll like she's trying to start a lawn mower."

living with a woman, men vs women, women's skincare, moving in, relationships, beauty routineA woman holding toilet paperPhoto credit: Canva

18. "They plan things way more than I do and much further out. I have no clue what tomorrow will bring, but my wife has the next five-plus years of our life together planned out."

19. "Hair washing is something that needs planning for and has consequences if missed or overdone."

20. "If you buy snacks for yourself, hide dat sh*t. She'll find it."

living with a woman, men vs women, women's skincare, moving in, relationships, beauty routineA woman eating a donutPhoto credit: Canva

21. "Makeup is a whole thing. I never saw my mom put it on as a little kid. When I lived with my first significant other, watching her put on makeup fascinated me. I lost track of time when she went full-on with the makeup for an event."

22. "They are either cold or hungry. Sometimes both. Never neither."

23. "Their hair gets everywhere. One time, my toe was hurting, so I removed my shoe and sock and noticed that a strand of my girlfriend's hair had wrapped itself TIGHTLY around my toe and cut off the circulation."

living with a woman, men vs women, women's skincare, moving in, relationships, beauty routineHair on the floorPhoto credit: Canva

24. "As a guy with long hair, I’m still thoroughly confused about why there is so much more hair everywhere now than when I was living alone."

25. "How tricky it is to find a well-fitting bra and how darn expensive they are."

26. "Pillows. Pillows everywhere. The more decorative pillow, the better."

living with a woman, men vs women, women's skincare, moving in, relationships, beauty routinePillowsPhoto credit: Canva

27. "How much time women spend in the bathroom every night before sleeping. No, sir, it's not just a matter of brushing your teeth and going to bed."

28. "A cute little thing I noticed after we were married is that my wife holds her breath when she applies mascara."

29. "A trip to the grocery store can turn into a full day of reorganizing the entire pantry and refrigerator."

living with a woman, men vs women, women's skincare, moving in, relationships, beauty routineA woman shoppingPhoto credit: Canva

30. "How much of their social life is tied to their personal safety. Women have safety protocols for going on date with guys they meet on apps, making sure they don’t get drugged at parties, making sure they aren’t nabbed off the street, letting each other know which men around them are safe and who they need to be careful around, etc. It’s insane. And like wtf, so heartbreaking that it’s necessary."

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Love Stories

​'Love on the Spectrum'​s Abbey writes the most heartfelt song and fans are in tears

"Heart just turned into a puddle and stayed there."

Photo by Anna Kolosyuk on Unsplash

This song is melting hearts everywhere.

It began in Australia. Producer Karina Holden, alongside director Cian O'Clery, had seen many dating shows and wanted to make something unique and heartfelt, geared entirely toward men and women on the autism spectrum.

O'Clery got the idea after working on a documentary about people with disabilities seeking employment. Screen Rant writer Christine Persaud shares, "After working on the Australian documentary series Employable Me, which shed light on how having a disability should not make someone unemployable, he came across an interesting and unexpected piece of information."

Holden tells Forbes Australia, "It took a long time to convince a public broadcaster [ABC] that this dating show would be done in a unique and authentic way and that there was a real public service value to the series because it spoke about people who are often marginalized and misunderstood."

But they, with Northern Pictures Productions, persevered, and the show was so well-received that it got a second season. Netflix picked it up to share with other countries around the world. From there, a U.S. version was born, airing its first season in 2022 and its most recent season just last week.

In their quest to cast vulnerable and lovable people—truly opening their lives to the examination of love and even heartbreak—the co-creators and producers exceeded expectations. Each season, the cast members (often recurring) allow cameras to follow them, their families, their dates, laughter, and tears. They're also assigned dating coaches/therapists to tenderly address some of the specific issues that come with being on the spectrum in terms of communication, perception, and processing.

It's a learning experience for the daters, their families, and the audience. And more than that, it's a downright joy. We get the honor of watching people express their purest desire—the one most every single person has on earth: to find love.

We watch two of the daters, Abbey and David, go from shy introductions all the way to traveling the world together. And this season, Abbey treats us to a song she wrote specifically for him. With lyrics like "You're the lion to my lioness" (Abbey loves lions!), "The milk to my chardonnay. My Prince Charming doesn't bring me flowers; he knows I'd rather have Gummy Bears any day," David, and their respective families, gasp, as they're so deeply overjoyed.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

And the fans are too. It's posted on X with the caption: "You're not emotionally prepared for Abbey's song to David." A commenter replies, "Heart just turned into a puddle and stayed there." They're not wrong. It's climbing quickly in likes on TikTok, with fans feeling emotional. One points out, "Hard to believe she was once nonverbal. Sweetest thing I've ever seen." Over on YouTube, the comment section is also filled with people sharing that they were moved to tears. One writes, "Can’t lie, this made me cry like a baby, and I absolutely did not expect that to happen."

One person has compliments for their families: "Can we just say that the parents who have raised these amazing kids into young adults are beyond amazing, and we are inspired by their journeys." Another shares a common thread: "It is SO special witnessing Abbey and David's most beautiful love for one another. A true-life princess and prince fairytale!"

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Culture

Philosophy expert shares the 'simple but profound rule' to tell if someone is a good or bad person

It comes down to a specific type of kindness.

via Canva/Photos and G.Meiners/Wikimedia Commons

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe and a scene at a restaurant.

Have you ever met somebody new and wondered if they were a good person with a mischievous streak or a bad person who can turn on the charm and behave occasionally? Determining someone’s true moral character is important, especially if you start dating them or have a business relationship. It is crucial to get to the core of who they are and know whether they can be trusted.

Popular TikTok philosopher and Substack writer Juan de Medeiros recently shared a great way to determine whether someone is good or bad. His rubric for judging someone’s moral character comes from a quote commonly attributed to Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, a German poet, playwright, novelist, and intellectual known for works like Faust and The Sorrows of Young Werther.

How can you tell if someone is a good or a bad person?

“Here's a pretty good indicator that somebody is a bad person and vice versa, how you can spot a good one. And this goes back to a simple rule, a moral aphorism by Goethe in which he writes, ‘Never trust someone who is unkind to those who can do nothing for him,’” de Medeiros shared in a TikTok video with over 45,000 views.

“Never trust someone who is unkind to those who can do nothing for him,” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

@julianphilosophy

Good vs. bad #good #bad #wisdom

De Medeiros then provided real-world ways to determine whether the person you have questions about is good or bad. “A bad person is unfriendly to strangers, to the elderly, to children, to service staff, to anybody they're not trying to impress,” he said. At the same time, the good person treats people equally, no matter what they can do for him. They’re good for goodness sake, not to get anything out of it.

“A good person carries grace within them and shares it freely with abundance. A good person treats other people as they would like to be treated as well. And it doesn't matter who you are, it doesn't matter what your status is, they will treat you and see you as their equal,” de Medeiros said.


What is 'The Waiter Rule'?

Goethe’s quote echoes the common red/green flag test that many people have on dates. Sure, it's important if your date is courteous and treats you well on the date, but you really want to watch how they interact with the server. The rule is often called “The Waiter Rule,” outlined by William Swanson. Swanson, the former chairman and CEO of Raytheon Company, wrote in his book, 33 Unwritten Rules of Management, "A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter—or to others—is not a nice person." Boxer Muhammad Ali is also known for saying something similar: "I don't trust anyone who's nice to me but rude to the waiter. Because they would treat me the same way if I were in that position."


Rudeness toward the waitstaff also indicates that the person isn’t very smart. It’s not wise to be rude to someone who is in charge of your meal for the night.

Conversely, a good person is kind to others without looking for anything in return because they want to spread joy and believe that others deserve respect. You are what you do, not what you think or believe, and when someone treats others with goodness, it's a clear indicator of the type of person they are.

In the end, we are all a mixed bag of behaviors and attitudes, and even the most perfect of us has a devil on their shoulder telling them that it’s okay to occasionally get into a bit of mischief. However, when it comes down to determining someone's core character, how they treat those who can do nothing for them says everything.

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