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Heroes

Researchers studied the impact of online dating on relationships. Here's what they found.

Millions are swiping left, but it won't ruin your chances for love.

Being single in our society can really suck.

Especially if you don't want to be. It feels like there's pressure from everywhere to settle down — and fast. People just expect that you'll end up one half of a couple (or else something's wrong with you). And the pitying stares from family members year after year during the holidays? Yeah, that doesn't help, either.

You know what sucks even more that being single? The endless string of articles declaring that dating is dead (and all single people are doomed).

OK, they don't say that exactly, but after reading the recent Vanity Fair story "Tinder and the Dawn of the 'Dating Apocalypse'" by Nancy Jo Sales, it's hard not to come to that conclusion. Sales paints a bleak picture of young people using Tinder just to have sex while other users begrudgingly settle for it even if they want more. She concludes that dating is dead. Even though I know better, the panic was still starting to set in.


And live alone, too. GIF from "New Girl."

But wait! Before you throw in the towel and buy that sad story, hear this: The data says that Tinder has not actually killed dating.

No, really. Let's be honest. Dating has lasted all these years. Do we really think the smartphone will lead to the demise of humankind? If you're hoping to settle down, take comfort in knowing that dating isn't going anywhere.

Don't believe me?

Recent studies of technology's effects on dating and relationships reveal some promising things.

1. Relationships that start online do just as well — if not better — than ones that start "in real life."

One 2012 study from Stanford University found no difference in the strength or quality of relationships that began online. Why? Because online dating has replaced old-school ways of meeting a partner, like school or church. Why would a couple be less committed just because they first started talking behind a screen?

Another study found that meeting online was actually better. Researcher John Cacioppo of the University of Chicago found that married couples who met through online dating were happier and less likely to be divorced. There are a few theories about why that might be, one of which is that when people communicate online, they tend to self-disclose more, which can lead to a stronger bond more quickly.

2. Online dating sites can help your chances of finding "the one" because it widens the dating pool.

That same 2012 Stanford study also found that online dating can be a huge asset to people who have "thin dating markets," such as LGBTQ people. Overall, the Internet offers the opportunity to meet people you would otherwise never have had the chance to meet. And because you established what you were seeking online, you already know they're looking for the same thing.

Researchers from Northwestern University seem to agree: Having more people to choose from really is a huge benefit of online dating, not a disadvantage.

What if I told you that all of these dates are happening ... because of the Internet? Photo by Stan Honda/AFP/Getty Images.

3. The Internet is not killing marriage.

I know marriage is not the goal of every person looking for a date. But marriage rates can give us insight into whether having an exponentially bigger dating pool makes people more reluctant to settle down.

And guess what? Andriana Bellou of the University of Montreal found that as more people used the Internet, marriage rates actually increased. That doesn't mean that more online dating caused the higher rates of marriage. But it's probably safe to say that the Internets are not killing monogamy as we know it.

4. "Hookup culture" is not a new thing created by online dating.

The same people who proclaim the "death of dating" often blame the advent of no-strings-attached sexual activity. Errrr, I hate to make folks clutch their pearls, but casual sex has been around long before the first computer was invented. Also: A 2013 University Portland study found that today's college students actually have less sex and fewer sex partners than those who dated before the age of OKCupid.

Fellow singles looking for a partner: Join me in a collective sigh of relief.

And the next time someone sends you a trend piece telling you that dating is dead, think about what Samhita Mukhopadhyay, author of "Outdated: Why Dating Is Ruining Your Love Life," said on Al-Jazeera America in response to the Vanity Fair article:

"Tools such as Tinder (or Grindr, Bumble, Hinge, etc.) have opened up space for people that traditionally didn't have the greatest access to sex or relationships. ... These tools have had a powerful effect on our ability to be choosy. You no longer have to marry the guy next door. These are benefits for all daters, not just entitled, sexist stockbrokers."

Turns out we're not all doomed. Phew. So if you live in the Philly or New York City area, hit me up for a drink — since maybe there's hope for us after all.

Just pretend it's me doing this seductive wink. GIF from "All in With Chris Hayes."

Feeling burnt out? Doctors are prescribing trips to Sweden
Visit Sweden
True

It’s no secret that modern life is stressful. Burnout is an epidemic. The World Health Organization boldly stated its dedicated efforts to help people improve their health and well-being through nature.

And thanks to a new initiative, Sweden is stepping up to offer a new holistic remedy: a physician-prescribed visit to Sweden, aka “The Swedish Prescription”.


“We have made great strides in making nature/social/culture prescription a more integral part of public health in the United States– but there is still so much more to be done,” said Dr. Stacy Stryer, Associate Medical Director for Park RxAmerica.“I welcome Sweden’s initiative and hope it will help break down institutional and organizational barriers, ultimately benefiting all patients.”

AdvertisementPatients can escape to Sweden’s pristine environment for true respite. Backed by scientific data and research from Yvonne Forsell, Senior Professor at Karolinska Institutet, healthcare professionals can prescribe Sweden as a destination where patients engage in non-medical treatments and outdoor activities to ease their ailments and offer a fresh reset.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Restore body and mind with the Swedish ritual of alternating ice baths and saunas. Swim, hike or forage through silent forests, lakes, parks and nature reserves – or simply sit in the stillness. Witness the Northern Lights dancing across winter skies, or soak up the calm of the summer midnight sun. In Stockholm, Europe’s clean-air capital, take a deep breath and feel the difference.

Or skip the great outdoors and spend time embracing Sweden’s unique cultural practices. “Our cozy fika tradition [Sweden’s daily pause for coffee and conversation], our “lagom”-balanced lifestyle [the idea of “not too much, not too little”] and our easily accessible nature are a soothing balm for body and mind,” says Susanne Andersson, CEO at Visit Sweden.

Sit back in front of a masterpiece in one of Sweden’s many art museums, or head out to a live music event after browsing concert options on Swedish-founded Spotify. You might catch chart-topping hits from producer Max Martin or discover the country’s thriving metal scene. Call it an early – or late – night, and enjoy restorative sleep in Sweden’s cool night air.

Sweden is the therapeutic destination your health has been craving. Learn more about “The Swedish Prescription” and its benefits for your mental and physical health here.

Culture

American shares his 9 realizations about the U.S. after 13 years abroad and it's eye-opening

“If you’ve never left, you can never understand what it’s really like…”

united states, american, europe, living abroad, U.K.
Image credit: Evan Edinger/YouTube

You learn a lot about your country when you leave it for a while.

Evan Edinger moved to London over 13 years ago to study abroad but never planned on staying overseas permanently. His goal was to get his degree, return to the United States, start his career, and make a life for himself. He thought of his time in London as a "temporary adventure."

But when he finished his degree, he found himself in an unexpected situation: He didn't want to go back. "The longer I stayed in London," Edinger shares on his YouTube channel, "the more I began to notice all of the assumptions that I'd grown up believing in America, the things I was brought up to believe were undeniably true and just the way the world worked—it turns out they weren't true at all."


One of the benefits of living in another country is seeing your country of origin through different eyes. That perspective can cause you to appreciate some things and question other things. Edinger shares nine realizations he's had about the U.S. since he left, starting with one of the most quintessentially American realities he found himself questioning.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

1. Guns

Edinger grew up in New Jersey and describes it as "quite a blue state," but he was still immersed in the gun culture that views gun ownership as a fundamental part of being an American.

"I was raised in a very pro-gun household," Edinger says. "In my family home in America, we had a 12-gauge shotgun, a 10-gauge, a black powder rifle, and a .410 shotgun for the children. My dad would take us out some days to shoot empty cans of beer or play pigeons or sometimes go hunting for pheasants or deer."

He says the notion of not owning a gun was unthinkable in his upbringing. "The idea that other countries do not allow guns is viewed more like these other countries are missing a fundamental right," he says.

His ideas about guns have changed dramatically since moving to London and living in a society without ubiquitous access to guns. "Visiting Philadelphia when I was younger was always scary to me because I never knew who had a gun, who wanted to rob me," Edinger shares. "Visiting New Orleans a couple years ago, I was told by my hotel staff that a few days prior, a tourist was shot and died in the local Popeye's Chicken because he caught a stray bullet of two people having an argument in the restaurant. So, that's just something that people just have to deal with. This constant fear of I could just die being caught in a crossfire and there's nothing I can really do about it because freedom. I've pretty much never felt that level of fear in London at all. And that alone was enough to sway my opinion on guns."

guns, gun culture, gun violence, united states, second amendment The U.S. has a unique gun culture.Photo credit: Canva

2. Government

"One thing that's really drilled into you pretty much every year of American school is that American democracy is the end-all be-all of government and that it is the beacon of freedom other countries look to emulate. Then, once you become an adult and you see how dysfunctional the U.S. government is, you search for anything to feel better about it and usually settle on 'Well, at least it's not a third world dictatorship.'"

But those aren't the only two options. Edinger explains how the parliamentary system in the U.K. is far from perfect, but it tends to be more effective at actually getting things done because lawmakers aren't constantly stymied by the inherently destructive two-party gridlock we have in the U.S.

"It's messy, yes, but after 13 years away, I've come to the belief that no system of government is perfect," he says. "But most systems in Western Europe are far more effective than what I grew up believing was the 'best in the world.'"

3. Walkability and Public Transport

In the U.S., having a car is practically a symbol of freedom, but Edinger says he's never felt the need to have a car in his 13 years living in London. He says it's been incredibly freeing to be able to walk and take public transit everywhere, and not just in the city. He's been able to travel all over Europe, in larger cities and small towns, and the focus on walkable neighborhoods and public transportation is everywhere.

walkable cities, public transportation, car dependency, london underground, subway It's much easier to get around without a car in Europe. Photo credit: Canva

"After having spent some time living in walkable neighborhoods, I would never ever choose to live in a car dependent place ever again," Edinger says. "It is truly one of the most life-changing parts of living over here. And because I'm always walking everywhere, because I'm always cycling everywhere, it's so much easier to be healthy and physically fit without even trying."

4. Food Quality and Price

Europe has different regulations than the U.S., Edinger explains, with an approach that leads to a lot less additives and chemicals being added to foods.

"Europe's food agency focuses on possibilities and the U.S.'s focuses on probabilities. Is it possible an unnecessary additive could be harmful? Europe prohibits it just to be safe. The US agency, the FDA, they only step in if the probability of it being harmful is high. So, that risk is passed on to the average American consumer."

Edinger also points out that the ability to walk down to the store to get fresh ingredients regularly makes it a lot easier to eat well. "It's one of those things where once you experience both, there is no contest. No contest. So, it's much easier to be healthy in Europe than in America."

5. Healthcare in the U.S. vs. Europe

"If my health does have issues, I am glad it's not something that would ever bankrupt me or cause me to ever think about how much it would have to cost me just to be sick," says Edinger.

Americans often hear horror stories about socialized medicine, but Edinger's experience with going to the doctor and even going to the hospital have been positive, and barely cost him anything.

health, healthcare, universal healthcare, health insurance, cost of healthcare The U.S. is an outlier in the world when it comes to healthcare costs. Photo credit: Canva

"There are only two types of people that are against the freeing social safety net that is universal healthcare," says Edinger. "People that have never experienced socialized healthcare and people that profit from the broken system. That's it." Most Americans want it, but "most Americans" is not where the money is.

6. Consumer Protections in the U.S. vs Europe

Edinger shares that he bought a MacBook Pro in 2019 that didn't work right, and he hadn't purchased AppleCare because he knew he didn't have to.

"If you buy a tech product in Europe, you have a reasonable expectation that it should last you at least two years free of defects," says Edinger. "And if it's not up to your expectations or breaks down before then, you can demand a return or replacement. This law protects consumers from shady business practices."

He ended up getting his full money back on the computer due to those consumer protections.

"It's laws like this where you really begin to notice a pattern that life in Europe is one that gives more rights to the everyday person over giant corporations and shared benefit over private," says Edinger.

7. Worker Rights

"A quick summary would be 28 days minimum paid holiday, one year paid maternity leave, two weeks paid paternity leave, sick leave, even the right against unlawful termination," said Edinger. "When working part-time at Urban Outfitters in London, even though I worked less than 20 hours a week, I still got two days paid holiday per month. That's insane, right? No, that's just life over here. Meanwhile, I worked five years at a Pizza Hut in New Jersey for over 30 hours per week. Never got a single day of paid vacation."

Indeed, there's more than a handful of European countries that guarantee at least a month of paid days off, with some countries actually requiring a certain number of days or weeks off.

vacation, holiday, paid vacation days, paid time off, work life balance Europeans get far more generous paid leave than Americans do.Photo credit: Canva

Edinger points out the irony that he was always taught that the U.S. was for the individual, for individual freedoms. But in his experience, in Europe individuals have more rights than those with money or power, while it's the opposite in the U.S.

8. Money (Live to work or work to live?)

Edinger says that most things are more affordable in Europe, from groceries to data plans, but Americans do earn higher salaries.

"So if you earn a lot of money and money is your sole defining metric of success, then you can feel a lot more successful in the U.S.," he says. "But because the culture in Europe is work to live and not live to work, you might find that the stress and cost tradeoffs and quality of life erode the value of that higher salary quite quickly."

9. On Romanticizing Europe

People often wonder if Americans romanticize Europe too much, and Edinger says the same question used to be asked of Europeans romanticizing America. But now that we have YouTube and social media and a better ability to see the realities of both places, he says what Americans "romanticize" about Europe is really just the things we want and don't have.

work-life balance, united states, working, european culture, worker rights Work-life balance is something a lot of Americans struggle with.Photo credit: Canva

"I think most Americans who are eyeing up Europe are doing so because of the things that America is lacking. Nearly two in three Americans want universal healthcare. Well, America doesn't offer that. Again, two in three Americans want European style vacation policies. America doesn't offer that. And 53% of Americans would prefer to live in a walkable neighborhood, but sorry, America doesn't offer that. The list goes on. If America were an actual democracy, I don't think many of these people would be having romanticized views of Europe at all because they wouldn't need to. They could have everything they wanted in the country they were born and raised."

Of course, every country has its problems and there are certainly downsides to moving abroad. Edinger acknowledges that but says it really boils down to what you value in life. Americans are taught to romanticize the U.S., and leaving it helps you see the reality, what's good about your country and where it has room for improvement.

"I think the main thing though out of everything that I miss about the U.S. that I can't really get here is not rights, not freedoms, not anything that's big on quality of life improvements," says Edinger. "It's just Mexican food and good ice cream."

You can follow Evan Edinger on YouTube for more on his experiences as an American living abroad.

Movies

7 fun facts about Alan Rickman's role in 'Die Hard' that made him an instant icon

Hans Gruber was Rickman's first movie role, and holy moly, what a debut.

alan rickman, die hard, acting, bruce willis, hans gruber

Alan Rickman's Hans Gruber upped the ante for film villains.

Alan Rickman was known and beloved as a film star, most famous for his over-the-top villainous Sheriff of Nottingham in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, his semi-villainous Snape in the Harry Potter series, his arguably villainous husband to Emma Thompson's character in Love Actually, and other roles that highlighted his ability to set an audience on edge. But we wouldn't know Alan Rickman as the film icon he was without his first feature film role as the insatiably villainous Hans Gruber in the original Die Hard.

Prior to being cast in Die Hard, Rickman had mainly acted on stage, racking up theater credits and accolades through the 1970s and '80s. He added some British television and radio performances to his resume as well, but his Hollywood debut didn't come until he was 41 years old and the role of Hans Gruber came knocking. His performance in the film would catapult him to fame, and he truly earned it. Here are seven fun facts about Rickman in that role that made him an instant and enduring icon.


- YouTube www.youtube.com

1. He almost turned down the role

Rickman had just finished a theater run in New York in 1987 when he went to Los Angeles to learn about a possible film role. “I didn’t know anything about LA. I didn’t know anything about the film business," Rickman shared at a Bafta celebration honoring his work. "I went to meet some casting directors. I went to meet some producers. And I think it was two days after I got there, I was offered Die Hard. I'd never made a film before, but I was extremely cheap." The classically trained actor said that after seeing the script he thought, “What the hell is this? I’m not doing an action movie.”

However, his agent and others told him that being offered a film role that quickly was practically unheard of and encouraged him to take it.

alan rickman, hans gruber, die hard, actor, hollywood Alan Rickman Cast GIF Giphy

2. He changed the character's wardrobe

Originally, the script had Hans Gruber wearing terrorist tactical gear, not the classy, tailored suits that we see him wearing in the film. "I was being fitted for all this terrorist gear in the early days of putting of the film together, and I said, why would I be wearing this when I've got all these huge hulks who are going to do all the dirty work?" Rickman explained. He left a note for producer Joel Silver suggesting the character wear a suit instead, which was initially met with a "You'll wear what you're told." But when he came back to set, the script had been changed to reflect his suggestion.

3. Pretending to be one of the hostages was his idea

There's a scene in Die Hard where Gruber puts on an American accent and pretends to be one of the hostages. Bruce Willis' character hadn't seen Gruber, he'd only heard his voice, so Gruber was able to fool him by acting like a hostage when confronted. That idea was part of Rickman's reasoning for wanting to wear a suit instead of terrorist gear, and Silver ended up adding it to the script.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

He nearly injured himself out of the role on the first shoot

The pretending to be a hostage scene was the very first shot Rickman filmed, and he hurt himself on the first take.

"I thought I had ripped a ligament on the very first shot," he told Empire in 2015. "Turned out I’d torn a cartilage, but I knew enough to go downstairs and see the doctor. I said, 'I think I heard something crack in my knee.' I was jumping down from a small ledge. He said, 'You may have torn a ligament. If you have, you’re out of action for six months.' I hadn’t even shot a scene! I was still in my costume, and I said, 'Could you pull the trouser leg down over that splint thing?' I went back up to the 33rd floor and carried on shooting. But the doctor said, 'Don’t put any weight on that leg!'"

Rickman worried he was out of a job, but the next day a fluid test revealed it was just cartilage, not a ligament, so he was able to continue shooting.

He was so good on first takes the director had to be better prepared

Rickman told Empire that he hadn't ever planned to have a career in film and didn't really know what he was doing when he started filming Die Hard.

"All I knew was that I could only take my theatre experience to the job," he said. "And John McTiernan (the director) said fairly early on, 'I’ve learned with you I’ve gotta be ready for the first take.' I didn’t know what take two, three, four and five and six were all about. We’ve just done it! But of course, he hadn’t got his lights right or he hadn’t got his camera moves right, or whatever. I knew nothing about any of that."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

The stunt coordinator tricked him to get a genuine look of panic in the final fall scene

Gruber's slow-motion fall to his death from the skyscraper was the last scene Rickman filmed, and there's a bit of lore that goes along with how it was filmed. Rickman did the stunt himself on a soundstage, being dropped from a height of 40 feet onto a crash pad. Rickman was attached to a rope held by a team who would release him on the count of three. However, the stunt coordinator, Charlie Picerni, reportedly told the stunt guys, "Let him go on one."

Rickman has said he didn't remember the countdown, but he did say the producers were "slightly incredulous" when he said he would do the stunt himself.

He appreciated how 'witty' and 'revolutionary' the Die Hard script was

As much as Rickman initially scoffed at making his film debut in an action movie, he praised the quality and longevity of the script in his interview with Empire in 2015. "As time has borne out, that script wasn’t stupid," he said. "Stupider films have been made trying to be it since. It’s genuinely witty and every black character is strong in it."

“Not to get a sledgehammer out to it, but every single black character in that film is positive and highly intelligent,” he said, according to The Hollywood Reporter. “So, 28 years ago, that’s actually quite revolutionary and quietly so.”

As beloved as Rickman was as a movie villain, those who worked with him spoke highly of his sweetness and kindness in real life. We can all be grateful he agreed to take the role in Die Hard, as it enabled us to enjoy many years of his iconic performances on the big screen.

flying, airport, airplane, dog, flight etiquette

Following certain "rules" can make flying a lot better for everyone involved.

Flying on airplanes with dozens of perfect strangers is, in many ways, a social experiment. We're forced to sit in seats that aren't big enough for most of us, uncomfortably close to people we don't know (some of whom are stressed out or anxious), with unclear social etiquette rules we haven't all collectively agreed upon.

And yet we do it because the miracle of human flight enabling us to travel in hours to places that used to take days, weeks, or even longer, is too awesome to pass up. Most of us have things we'd prefer our fellow passengers do or not do to make the experience better for everyone, however, so we asked our Upworthy Facebook audience, "If you could enforce one social rule during flights, what would it be?" The responses were largely what you might expect and you can see them below, but there was one unexpected comment that stood out. The rule that received the most love, with over 1,200 likes, was this one:


dog, flying, airplane, good dog, golden retriever Can we please get a "meet the dog" rule on airplanes?Photo credit: Canva

Any dog on the plane has to visit every passenger that requests

While not everyone loves dogs, most people do. And what would make a flight more enjoyable than getting to meet a dog on board? Perhaps we can start a petition to make cabin doggy visits for anyone who wants them an official thing…

Other responses were helpful reminders of both common courtesy and somewhat standard airplane etiquette for those who might not fly often enough to be familiar with it. In addition to the "meet the dog" rule, here are 10 more social rules people wish they could enforce on flights:

Be nice to flight attendants

Imagine being responsible for both the comfort and safety of 100+ people from different places with different needs in a cabin hurtling through the sky 30,000 feet above the Earth. Flight attendants deal with a wide array of people day in and day out, and we should all make sure we treat them with the kindness and respect that they deserve.

Middle seat gets the armrests

Nobody should be hogging the armrests, but if anyone has a right to them, it's the sacrificial soul who has to sit in the middle seat. (And window seat controls the window, in case that's not common sense.)

headphones, flight, courtesy, airplane etiquette, flying No matter your age, headphones to listen to things on a flight are a must.Photo credit: Canva

Headphones, please

No one wants to listen to your video but you. Imagine if everyone listened to movies or YouTube videos or whatever without headphones—total social chaos. In public and on planes, use headphones to listen or watch something.

No 'manspreading'

We all know the legroom on flights has become practically non-existent, and for people with long legs it can be hard to not bang your knees up against the seat in front of you. But spreading your legs apart so wide that it infringes on other people's leg space just isn't cool. We're all in the same boat, so we have to respect one another's space.

Keep your shoes and socks on

There may be an exception here for long-haul flights as long as you keep your socks on and don't have stinky feet, but bringing a pair of slippers or something is still courteous. But definitely keep your socks on and be aware that you might not be able to tell if your own feet smell.

flying, flights, airplane, overhead bin, flight etiquette One overhead bag per passenger until everyone's got their luggage settled. Photo credit: Canva

Don’t put a second bag or a jacket in the overhead bin until everyone has put their first bag in

Overhead space is limited, so wait until everyone has had a chance to get their carry-on into that space before adding more than your one bag to it. Once everyone's settled in, feel free to add whatever overflow you have.

Try not to fart

We've all been on a flight where someone let one rip and made everyone's eyes water. Unless you have zero choice in the matter, refrain from dropping gas bombs on your fellow passengers. We're all human and humans fart, but an airplane cabin is a tight spot where people can't get away. At least take it to the lavatory if you can.

Be aware of smells in general

Come clean and fresh, but not perfumed. Deodorant? Yes, please. Strong cologne or perfume? No. Food that emits a strong odor? Also no.

flight attendant, safety presentation, airplane safety, seatbelts, courtesy Even if you know it by heart, please don't talk during the safety demonstration.Photo credit: Canva

Stay quiet during the safety demonstration

Some people fly all the time and could recite the safety demonstration spiel by heart, but that doesn't mean everyone is familiar with it. It only takes a few minutes and first-time flyers need to hear it. It's respectful to the flight attendants to not talk through their presentation and courteous to other passengers who need to listen.

Remain seated until it’s your row’s turn to deplane

On most flights, as soon as the plane arrives at the gate and the seatbelt sign is turned off, people rush to stand up and gather their luggage. But it's always going to take several minutes to even start getting the first passengers off the plane, and it's not going to go any faster to crowd into the aisle.

If we all follow these "rules," flying can be a more pleasant experience for everyone—even our good doggo friends who might be on board.

Parenting

Teacher reveals 11 things that boomer parents totally got right

"Simple greetings and simple terms of gratitude are just not being taught like they used to."

boomer parents, entitled kids, rude kids

Teresa Kaye Newman thinks that boomer parents were right about a few things.

Teresa Kaye Newman, a teacher, knows a lot about how to deal with children. So she created a list of 11 things she agrees with baby boomers on when it comes to raising kids.

Newman believes she has credibility on the issue because she has 13 years of experience dealing with “hundreds and hundreds” of other people’s kids and has seen what happens when her so-called “boomer” parenting principles aren’t implemented.


Of course, Newman is using some broad stereotypes in calling for a return to boomer parenting ideas when many Gen X, millennial and Gen Z parents share the same values. But, as someone who deals with children every day, she has the right to point out that today’s kids are entitled and spend too much time staring at screens.

@teresakayenewman

11 Things I agree with boomer parents on raising children, as a #teacher and soon to be mom.

Here are the 11 things that Newman agrees with boomers on when it comes to raising kids:

1. No iPads

“All I’m going to say is my kid has a whole world to explore and none of that has to do with being stuck in front of a tablet.”

2. No smartphone until high school

“Kids that are younger than that age do not know internet safety to a point where I feel comfortable letting them have free reign of the internet.”

3. Teaching the value of education

“What I’m going to teach them is [education] has nothing to do with how much money you’re making or how successful you’ll be professionally. But you will still value it, nonetheless. You will go with it as far as you possibly can, and then once you’re done with it, you can do whatever you want.”

4. Respect your teachers and treat them well

“This may be biased because I am a teacher, but everyone who has gone through a professional degree program and has put in the time and is there, giving you the quality education, deserves some type of attention and deserves to be treated well.”


media3.giphy.com

5. Be kind to elderly folks

“If they’re on public transportation and they’re sitting down and there’s an old lady standing next to them and there are no other seats available, my child will know to stand up and give that lady his seat.”

6. Yes, ma’am

“It does not matter your age or status in society, as long as they are respecting their pronouns, that’s how we’re gonna be talking to other people.”

7. Greetings and gratitude

“Simple greetings and simple terms of gratitude are just not being taught like they used to. I think it’s really sad.”

8. Consequences for poor behavior

“If they’re neglecting their schoolwork and not doing what they’re supposed to do, they get their technology taken away. … Simple things like this are pretty common sense and I’m not sure why they’re not being done anymore.”

9. Respect adult conversations and spaces

“They don’t get to interrupt 2 adults speaking to each other. They don’t get to come and butt in at an inappropriate time when 2 people are talking to each other."

10. Clean your mess

“My child is going to put as much work in the house as we are regardless of whether he’s paying rent out of his own pocket or not. That’s because when my son becomes an adult, I want him to be a partner or a spouse or a roommate that someone is proud to have around.”


media3.giphy.com

11. Bedtime

“I don’t care how old my kid is as long as he is living under my roof as a minor; he’s gonna have some sort of bedtime. But this staying up until 3 or 4 or 5 o’clock in the morning or pulling all-nighters like kids are used to … is absolutely not normal. And I’m not going to have a kid that’s staying up that late and then not waking up the next day.”

This article originally appeared on 12.20.23