The group turning religious leaders into LGBTQ rights crusaders in Kenya

This piece was first published on Reasons to Be Cheerful and is part of the SoJo Exchange from the Solutions Journalism Network, a nonprofit organization dedicated to rigorous reporting about responses to social problems. Penda* did not feel worthy of a seat at the table with the 15 religious leaders she found herself nervously sitting…

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Photo credit: Reasons to Be CheerfulArray

This piece was first published on Reasons to Be Cheerful and is part of the SoJo Exchange from the Solutions Journalism Network, a nonprofit organization dedicated to rigorous reporting about responses to social problems.

Penda* did not feel worthy of a seat at the table with the 15 religious leaders she found herself nervously sitting across from, seven of them Christian, eight of them Muslim.

“Before I attended that forum, I knew that I was a sinner,” she recalls. “I didn’t think it was possible for me to go near a church. I didn’t even think that I could have a conversation with a religious leader.”

Yet in 2014, Penda, a masculine-presenting lesbian, found herself in conversation with these faith leaders, all of whom believed — and in many cases preached — that homosexuality is evil. But this was no ordinary conversation. At Penda’s side were three other people: a Kenyan gay man, a sex worker and someone living with HIV. None of the faith leaders knew these details. That information was held back — until just the right moment presented itself.

The forum was part of a strategic faith engagement session organized by Persons Marginalized and Aggrieved in Kenya (PEMA Kenya), a sexual and gender minority group in the coastal city of Mombasa. In Kenya, where the LGBTQ community is a frequent target of conservative religious leaders, who preach discrimination and sometimes even violence against them, PEMA Kenya takes an unusual approach: it works to “convert” faith leaders to the gay rights cause by introducing them to LGBTQ people, face to face, to build empathy, compassion and understanding.


The carefully orchestrated encounters require the utmost care — for all involved. “We don’t aim to ‘sensitize’ religious leaders,” says Lydia Atemba, a member of the faith engagement team. “We also prepare and equip our community to participate in dialogue with them. We try to bridge the gap on both sides.”

The most unlikely allies

The five-day event attended by Penda and the 15 religious leaders was ostensibly to discuss barriers to health care faced by marginalized people who have HIV. For the first three days of the forum, no explicit mention of homosexuality was uttered.

“We [then] brought other queer members into the sessions and they spoke with the religious leaders,” says Pastor McOveh, a queer pastor who helps to facilitate the program. (He requested his first name not be used.)

Penda was one of them. Now 44, she calmly shared her experience as a lesbian living in Mombasa. She had moved there in 2010, leaving behind the ruins of Kitale, a cosmopolitan town in Kenya that was struggling to recover from the 2007 election crisis. She described to them how she was verbally abused, and how she had been forced to sever ties with her spirituality because of faith leaders preaching anti-gay violence and discrimination.

“I have had troubles reconciling my sexuality and faith,” she told the group.

She says sharing her personal story was surprisingly effective. The faith leaders’ beliefs weren’t instantly transformed, but, she says, “I think I saw a lot of compassion in some of them.”

She was right. One of the conservative religious leaders in attendance that day was Pastor John Kambo. A pastor at the Independent Pentecostal Church of Kenya, Kambo was well known for his public attacks on the LGBTQ community. He once declared that “the gender and sexual minorities, especially in worship places, are cursed sinners and will go to hell.”

This wasn’t Kambo’s first PEMA session. The organization had been holding discussions with him for four years, gradually drawing him onto their side. “It was just follow-up meetings — continuous engagement overtime [to] change the way [he] sees things,” recalls Ishmael Bahati, PEMA Kenya’s executive director and co-founder. During this period, Kambo began reflecting on what the Bible says about love. According to transcripts from PEMA Kenya, he ultimately said that “continuous participation in these trainings opened my mind and I realized that we are all human beings.” The meeting with Penda was his last as an outsider — afterwards, he joined PEMA Kenya as an active, dedicated member, and remained one until his death last month.

In the end, Kambo became an unlikely friend to the queer community. He underwent PEMA’s Training of Trainers, which taught him how to carefully discuss LGBTQ concerns with his fellow faith leaders. But his conversion came at a price. He was excommunicated from the church for three years, and his marriage hit the skids. He continued to be an ally, however, and in 2018 he became the first religious leader to be nominated as a “Human Rights Defender” by the National Coalition of Human Rights Defenders — Kenya.

That same year, Kambo invited Pastor Benhadad Mutua Kithome to a PEMA discussion. “PEMA Kenya produced good notes, and they were helping us very much,” Kithome says of that meeting. “Some pastors were not agreeing with them — they were just agreeing with what the scriptures say. The way Sodom and Gomorrah was. The way, because of homosexuality, people were punished. But because of this training, some pastors, especially me, came to understand.”

Athumani Abdullah Mohammed, an Ustaz (Islamic teacher) whose view of queer people changed gradually after partaking in a PEMA session in 2018, had a similar experience.

“When I got a chance to engage, it was not easy because… I work with conservative organizations,” he says. “The whole gospel I was hearing was against ‘this people,’ as they called them. I thank my brother Ishmael because he was so persistent. He brought me on board. The funny thing is, the first meeting we held was not a good meeting. I was so against everything they were saying, but he saw something in me which I couldn’t see by myself. And he kept on engaging me. Now, I learned to listen and I opened myself to listen. I listen to what I want to hear — and what I don’t want to hear.”

Converting a culture

The coastal city of Mombasa is a conservative place. Religion is at its core, and local faith leaders wield outsized influence, often preaching violence against the queer community.

“Rhetoric vilifying LGBT people, much of it by religious leaders, is particularly pronounced on [Kenya’s] coast, and shapes public perceptions,” according to a Human Rights Watch report.

This was the environment into which PEMA Kenya launched in 2008. Started as a health and social wellbeing community for gay and bisexual men following the tragic death of a gay man in Mombasa — he became sick and was abandoned by his family — the group later expanded to accommodate other gender and sexual minority groups. Then, in 2010, a call to “flush out gays” by two major religious groups — the Council of Imams and Preachers of Kenya (CIPK) and the National Council of Churches of Kenya (NCCK) — led to a spate of attacks on queer people.

The violence became a catalyzing moment for PEMA Kenya. “We thought that it is a good time to have a dialogue with the religious leaders,” recalls Bahati, “to see if we can have a lasting solution for the attacks.”

The organization appears to be making progress toward that goal. Until five years ago, Bahati says, Ramadan, which concluded this month, was a particularly dangerous time for queer people in Kenya’s coastal region. A U.S. government report supports this observation, concluding that “the highest incidences of violence in the Kenyan Coast, which has a largely Muslim population, are reported during Ramadan.”

For this reason, organizations like PEMA used to focus on simply keeping LGBTQ people safe from harm during these weeks. “Most organizations were looking for funds to relocate people, to support people” during this period, says Bahati.

But this year’s Ramadan has been different. Attacks on queer folks are down, Bahati reports. “Things have really changed.” He believes PEMA’s years of meticulous relationship building are beginning to bear fruit. To date, PEMA has trained 619 religious leaders, 246 of which are still active members in the network. These members are crucial to spreading the acceptance of queerness in their congregations and communities in Mombasa and across Kenya. They also facilitate events alongside queer pastors and Ustaz, and review the group’s strategic faith engagement manual, Facing Our Fears.

According to Jide Macaulay, an openly gay British-Nigerian priest, the influence religious leaders hold over public perception makes them invaluable allies. In his experience, building radical queer institutions in a place like Mombasa just isn’t effective. This is something he learned first-hand — in 2006, Macaulay founded House of Rainbow, the first queer church in Nigeria. It was considered an affront to the societal and religious norm, and met with hostility. It lasted only two years.

“My largest focus was on the [queer] community, not necessarily on the rest of the society,” he says. “We didn’t take time to educate the society. House of Rainbow would have benefitted if we had allies within the community. [It] would have benefitted if we started maybe as a support group rather than a full-blown church.”

Now, like PEMA Kenya, House of Rainbow has evolved to make engagement with Christian and Islamic faith leaders the core of its mission, holding forums in Malawi, Zambia, the Democratic Republic of Congo, South Africa, Lesotho, Botswana, Zimbabwe and Ghana.

What the scriptures say

Bahati’s expertise as an Islamic scholar comes in handy. For instance, he notes that the role of language is key to winning converts to an inclusive community.

During PEMA’s strategic meetings, faith leaders are introduced, carefully and tactfully, to humanizing language. “You see, the word homosexual, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer are not bad words,” says Macaulay. “Society has made them scary.” PEMA’s facilitators explain appropriate usage, context and meanings, and the harmful implications of using such language as slurs.

“What we say is that language is not innocent,” says McOveh, the gay pastor. “Most of the time we realize that faith leaders use language unknowingly.”

Of course, simply teaching more sensitive language is only the first step. In the Bible and Quran, certain verses and stories are still used to justify homophobic slurs and attacks.

“You realize that scriptures have different interpretations,” says McOveh, “so we try to find common ground to tell them that, see, there is this which is provided by the religion and this which is given as perception.” Macaulay echoes this point. “Looking at the Bible, there’s a history of bad theology, mistranslation, and that mistranslation has caused many churches not to understand that homosexuality is not a sin. Homosexuality is not like robbery or theft. Homosexuality is like being Black. Homosexuality is like being albino. There are things that you just cannot change…Homosexuality is not a crime and it should never be criminalized.”

While groups like PEMA Kenya and House of Rainbow have battled systemic homophobia in society, their efforts are still “a drop of water in the ocean,” says Macaulay.

Homosexuality remains illegal in Kenya. The Penal Code explicitly criminalizes it, and a conviction can carry a prison sentence of up to 14 years. Petitions filed in Nairobi and Mombasa high courts in 2019 to rule these laws unconstitutional were both dismissed this year. Appeals have been filed, but according to Michael Kioko, a lawyer and LGBTQ advocate, it would take a long time to get a ruling.

“We’ll have to wait for years to see whether the court of appeal will declare those provisions unconstitutional, and they may not,” he says.

32 out of 52 African countries criminalize same-sex relations, with punishment ranging from death to lengthy prison terms. In some ways, these laws lend legitimacy to perpetrators of homophobic violence and discrimination.

The pandemic has presented PEMA Kenya with yet another challenge. The delicate work of working with new religious leaders can be risky, and the discussions can only take place in a secure location, says Mohammed.

“You cannot talk to people about these things in their area,” he says. “You need to be very particular when it comes to safety because it’s a lot of voices which are talking against this and people are willing to kill.” Holding discussions with participants in an undisclosed location is safer, but it requires funding which PEMA has spent on taking care of needy community members during the lockdown.

Still, the efforts of PEMA Kenya’s faith leaders continue to foster a safer city for a lot of queer people in Mombasa — in the streets, in the churches and mosques, and in their own homes. “[Now] someone can walk for a kilometer without being attacked,” says Penda with relief. “Those were things that were not very much happening back then.”

*Name has been changed to protect the person’s identity.


  • A homeless man returns a pet dog’s stolen ashes to their owner. It’s changing his life.
    Photo credit: Kathryn Michie via GoFundMeKathryn Michie and Chris Engdahl, left, and a flyer.

    When Holly and Brandon Dunn’s car was broken into, the stolen items were ones they thought they’d never get back. The thief took a bag containing the ashes of their late chihuahua named Tia. The thief also took Tia’s ceramic paw prints and a memorial stuffed-animal replica of the beloved pup. Two weeks later, the items were found and returned. Now the Seattle community is chipping in to reward the hero with a fresh start.

    Brandon explained to KING-TV that the couple was unable to have children, so Tia had been their furry kid throughout their 20-year relationship.

    “It’s a bit cliche, I guess, comparing a dog to a child. But, you know, for us that was my child,” he said.

    The search was on

    The Dunns put up flyers offering a reward for the return of the ashes and memorial items. Folks on social media and Reddit offered to help search and put up additional flyers in the Seattle area. There were even people willing to 3D-print a replica of Tia’s paw prints to replace the original ones.

    A hero reaches out

    Two weeks later, the unlikely happened. The items were found and returned by a homeless man named Chris Engdahl.

    For the past seven years, Engdahl had been living unhoused in the Seattle area. He made a living off what he could find and sell from dumpsters. It was in a random dumpster that Engdahl found Tia’s ashes, paw prints, and stuffed replica. Engdahl knew the items had sentimental value and held onto them in hopes of finding their owner. After seeing one of the flyers, Engdahl texted Brandon’s phone number and made sure the Dunns got Tia’s remains back.

    The Seattle community chips in

    Engdahl didn’t want a reward from the couple and was just happy that a fellow dog lover got their precious memorial items back. The Dunns had already moved out of the state. However, they and the Seattle community still wanted to do something to help Engdahl.

    Kathryn Michie, a person who helped post flyers for the Dunns, started a GoFundMe for Engdahl to help restart his life. As of this writing, Engdahl has recently moved into his first apartment, and the GoFundMe has raised more than $6,700. The money will be used to help Engdahl get furniture and other supplies. Some of the money will also go toward food for his new dog, Reo, whom he recently rescued from the street. Altogether, it will help Engdahl’s new place feel more like home.

    “I just got off the phone with Chris and he’s absolutely floored with the support from this community!” Michie wrote in a May 6 update on the GoFundMe page. “Thank you to everyone who is changing his life for the better. He is such an angel and deserves all the help!”

    Kindness and support from an entire community helped recover lost items, house someone in need, and create a new life for a dog, too.

  • Woman tests drive-thru barista by tipping him $1 for every second he listens to daughter’s story
    Photo credit: Martina and Alexa/InstagramA mother-daughter duo shares a nice tip with a Starbucks barista.
    ,

    Woman tests drive-thru barista by tipping him $1 for every second he listens to daughter’s story

    “Every second they listen, the tip goes up $1. They don’t know that.”

    Imagine passing a test with flying colors when you didn’t even know you were taking one. A mother-daughter duo, known as Martina and Alexa, visits fast-food and coffeehouse drive-thrus. The person serving them is then, in a sense, given a test of their kindness, often revealing the most wholesome side of humanity.

    The way it works is this: The mother-daughter duo purchases food and drinks at drive-thrus such as Starbucks, Carl’s Jr., and Wendy’s. When they’re given their items, the daughter begins telling a story. As explained in the videos, “Every second they listen, the tip goes up $1. They don’t know that.”

    One video stands out

    They have many fun examples on TikTok and Instagram. But one recently truly stood out.

    A blond man appears in the Starbucks drive-thru window, cheerfully greeting the pair. “Hi! Here we are!” While the mother counts out one-dollar bills on her lap, her daughter, sporting bright red long hair, begins telling a story with the most adorable uptick: “One time at school? We had a science project about health? And I went up there? And like I talked for five minutes about how sugar was bad for you?”

    While the story goes on, the barista smiles warmly and occasionally says, “Right, uh huh,” to keep her at ease. She continues: “But on the actual day? After school, I went and I bought a donut? To test if sugar is bad for you. So yeah. Because I can’t present information without data and all of that, so yeah. Also, I have a snake at home? She’s a ball python? And she’s so cute. Her name is Frosty!”

    The barista enthusiastically asks, “Really?” She continues, “Yeah, and sometimes she likes her tank.” At this point, Mom cuts her off, and the barista hands over a drink. “Can I give you a tip?” she asks while handing him $30. “Oh my gosh! Thank you. Are you sure?”

    The whole exchange exemplifies pure kindness. But it gets even better. Turns out the barista is Dale B. Pirofsky. And there was something about him they just couldn’t forget, nor could the viewers who saw the video.

    The duo behind the videos thought they’d pay his kindness forward not just with a big tip, but with the hope of helping him raise money for a car. They started a GoFundMe, where they shared:

    “When we met Dale, there was something about him that immediately stood out – his kindness, his warmth, his humor, and the kind of positive energy that you can feel right away. He truly has one of those bright souls that makes people smile without even trying.

    After we shared the video, Dale became a favorite across social media in just a few days. It has been so special to see how many people connected with him through the screen. So many of you saw exactly what we saw in person – his genuine heart, his sweet personality, and the joy he brings into a simple moment.

    Many people reached out asking how they could support him financially, so we contacted Dale directly. After speaking with him and getting his permission, we decided to create this GoFundMe in his name. Dale shared with us that he has been working two jobs to save up for his very first car. This fundraiser is not an emergency request – it is simply a way for anyone who feels moved by Dale’s story to support a goal he has already been working so hard toward.”

    “Everyone deserves to be heard”

    Upworthy had the chance to chat with Dale, who shared how grateful he was for the whole encounter.

    When asked what he thought when she started telling the story, he said he was happy to listen. “Whenever someone wants to talk to me, especially children, I always try to listen,” he said. “I grew up—and honestly still struggle—with feeling unheard or unacknowledged, so I always try to make someone who needs to chat feel heard.”

    He didn’t suspect it was a test or a prank. “Honestly? I probably would have should the context of the story been something less engaging!” he said. “But considering she was talking about her school project, I figured it was something she was super proud of! Everyone deserves to be heard about what they are enthusiastic about.”

    This has been his biggest tip so far. “As a barista, the thirty-dollar tip definitely takes the cake!” he said. “Although, I did have to share it with my fellow baristas, and I’m in no way, shape, or form unhappy about that. My coworkers have been nothing but supportive of me, and they totally deserved a little something!”

    As for the duo, they remain rather mysterious. But what he does know is how good they made him feel. “They are a family of sweet-hearted people,” he said. “This family has absolutely turned my life upside down over the last week, and I am so grateful for all the support I’ve been given! It’s nice to see my enthusiasm and smile have made so many people so happy. It’s a dream of mine I can finally say I’ve achieved.”

  • Dad stuns bride with a recording of her accurately describing her future wedding at 4 years old
    Photo credit: CanvaSome weddings are full of surprises.

    Lots of kids imagine their wedding day when they are little in all kinds of creative ways. But few have those childhood imaginings recorded, and even fewer have them unearthed on their actual wedding day.

    But one bride was surprised by just that at her own wedding reception, and in the absolute sweetest way. During the father-daughter dance, as the Beach Boys crooned out “God Only Knows,” suddenly a man’s voice came over the speaker. “Tell me about your wedding,” it said.

    A child’s voice responded: “My wedding is gonna have clowns dancing with the children, and a moon bounce, and face painting…when the brides all change into costumes, they go in the moon bounce.”

    @jordannrose1

    I could not stop crying!! 🥹🤍full backstory: my parents found a video from when I was 4 years old talking shout my future wedding, where I named my childhood friends as my bridesmaids that were in attendance, and said Max would be my husband…. While I didn’t meet Max until college it was kismet!! They edited that clip into our father daughter dance and totally surprised everyone including me!!! ❤️ #fatherdaughterdance #wedding #bride #2026bride #2026wedding @absocialstudio

    ♬ original sound – jordan

    The child was Jordan, the bride, at four years old, and the man’s voice was her dad.

    “Who are the brides gonna be?” preschooler Jordan’s dad asked.

    “The brides are gonna be silly princesses,” Jordan responded. She said they would be named Gracie, Rachel, Kelly (or Ketti?), and Sarah.

    “And what about the princes?” her dad asked. “Who are the princes going to be?”

    “Oh, you mean all the boys?” little Jordan asked. “They’re gonna be silly superheroes!”

    wedding, marriage, flower girl
    Little girl dressed up for a wedding. Photo credit: Canva

    But when Dad asked who they were, no one expected her little voice to cry out, “Max! Max! Max!”

    Max, Jordan’s real-life adult groom, who was listening to all of this, was gobsmacked—as in full-on, wide-eyed, jaw-to-the-floor shocked. Jordan herself was blown away.

    “No way!” Max said. “No way. No way!”

    Jordan wrote the backstory in the TikTok caption: “My parents found a video from when I was 4 years old talking about my future wedding, where I named my childhood friends as my bridesmaids that were in attendance, and said Max would be my husband…. While I didn’t meet Max until college it was kismet!! They edited that clip into our father-daughter dance and totally surprised everyone including me!!!”

    @jordannrose1

    5.2.26 🤍💍🤵🏼👰🏻‍♀️🥂 married my best friend! wedding content by the amazing @absocialstudio #wedding #bride #2026bride #2026wedding #lajolla

    ♬ original sound – jordan

    People loved the clever, creative weaving of the audio into the father-daughter dance. And of course, commenters adored the groom’s stunned reaction:

    “You just KNOW your dad has been planning that since the moment you said ‘Dad, this is Max.’”

    “Just sobbing over a girl who manifested her entire life without knowing it.”

    “This is the most beautiful invisible string story I’ve ever heard of.”

    “The fact your husband was crying before he even heard his name said… a REAL one!! Congratulations!”

    “I am BAWLING RIGHT NOW. literally the definition of ‘in every lifetime.’”

    Of all the uses of childhood videos at a wedding, this one might be the most creative and meaningful yet. Congratulations to the adorable couple, who were so clearly meant for one another.

    You can follow Jordan on TikTok.

  • Family of 7 takes in 82-year-old widower neighbor as their new ‘grandpa’
    Photo credit: via USA Today Paul Callahan, 82, with the Caraballo family.
    ,

    Family of 7 takes in 82-year-old widower neighbor as their new ‘grandpa’

    “You get many chances to talk to people. If you don’t take a chance, you may miss a friend.”

    In 2022, the Caraballo family welcomed a new member: their neighbor from across the street, Paul Callahan, who was 82 at the time. Callahan, a widower, lost his wife prior to the Caraballos moving in. It makes sense their new neighbor was feeling lonely, but a beautiful friendship was on the way. After their initial meeting, Callahan quickly became like a grandfather to the Caraballos, a family of seven, and the story went viral. Various publications and news outlets covered the heartwarming blended family and they were even invited to appear on Good Morning America and The Kelly Clarkson Show.

    South West News Service first reported the whole story, writing that when Sharaine, then 32, and Wilson Caraballo, then 42, moved their family of seven into a new home in Pawtucket, Rhode Island in 2022, they weren’t sure how they’d be received. “Our biggest fear moving into a new neighborhood was, ‘What if our neighbors don’t like us?’ What if, because we have a lot of kids, they make a lot of noise and we come from a big family, so what if there’s any conflict with the neighbors?” Sharaine told USA Today. “We’re the only Black family in our neighborhood.”

    Then their neighbor showed up with a ladder

    But all that fear quickly dissipated when their new neighbor, Callahan, showed up with a ladder and offered to help the family spruce up their new home.

    “He was coming over with tools. He’d bring screwdrivers and teach Wilson how to fix up the garage, and Wilson followed all his advice,” Sharaine told South West News Service. The octogenarian soon became a fixture at the Caraballo house. Now, Callahan stops by nearly every day and can always be found at the family’s cookouts, gatherings, and holidays.

    He’s not the neighbor anymore, he’s family

    Callahan has become a great friend to the family’s children, whom he entertains with stories from his past. “The kids run up to him like that’s their grandfather,” Sharaine said. “Paul is definitely a family member. He’s no longer considered a neighbor.”

    Callahan believes that it’s all about taking the time to be friendly.

    “You get many chances to talk to people. If you don’t take a chance, you may miss a friend,” Callahan said. “It doesn’t hurt to be nice. That’s the other thing, it costs you nothing, but a lot of times, you get a better return.”

    The story went viral, and for good reason

    Sharaine keeps her well-wishers updated on the doings of her family, including Callahan, on her Instagram page. Though she hasn’t posted about Callahan specifically since their mini media storm, she keeps posts about their story and media appearance pinned to the top of her page for all to see.

    This article originally appeared three years ago.

  • An errant pitch hit a Little League player in the head. His response was peak sportsmanship.
    Photo credit: CanvaA viral video from a Little League game has people celebrating good sportsmanship.

    Youth sports have gotten more intensely competitive, to the point where overeager parents and coaches have to regularly be reminded to take it down a notch. So when humanity takes precedence over team rivalries, it’s extra heartwarming.

    And considering how many “kids these days” laments we see coming from older generations, it’s also heartening to see kids showing excellent character qualities when no one directly asked them to.

    A viral video from a Little League baseball game is giving us a nice dose of both—good sportsmanship and basic human kindness from two players from opposing teams.

    As reported by USA Today, Isaiah (Zay) Jarvis, a batter from Oklahoma, took a pitch from Texas East pitcher Kaiden Shelton right to the side of his helmet. It was a hard blow that caused Jarvis to spin around and crumble to the ground, grabbing his head. The replay in slow motion shows that the ball basically just knocked his helmet off, though it was undoubtedly jarring and probably painful as well.

    Jarvis was able to continue playing, but Shelton was shaken up. No matter how fierce the competition, no one wants to be responsible for injuring another person. He was visibly upset on the mound, so Jarvis left first base and approached him.

    Here is what actually happened on that field

    That a kid this age would approach a player who hit him with a ball and comfort him with a hug, especially knowing that all eyes were on him, is just so lovely. Someone raised this young man to put people’s feelings ahead of competitiveness and not worry about what others might think.

    And the fact that the pitcher was so distraught at the possibility of having hurt someone is also so sweet. This was a moment that showed the true character of both of these boys, and both of them exemplified caring and compassion.

    The internet was moved to tears

    People praised the boys’ empathy and humanity.

    Both of those boys are what you want your kids to aspire to,” wrote one commenter. “One willing to forgive and knows it wasn’t intentional and the other showing remorse and sorrow. I love it!!”

    Thankfully, these kids aren’t some one-off anomaly. We see examples of kindness and empathy all the time in sports. Despite how fierce competition can get, enjoyment of the game and the self-improvement on all levels that comes with playing is what it’s all about, and many coaches and parents strive to make sure that their kids are learning all of those lessons.

    This video demonstrates even more than simple respect for an opponent. It shows that this kid recognized his opponent’s humanity first and foremost. He didn’t just say, “It’s no problem.” He recognized that the pitcher had feelings of his own and wanted to make surehe was okay. That’s a whole other level of sportsmanship to strive for, one that takes nothing away from strong competition and doing your best to win.

    This went beyond good sportsmanship

    The moment has had a lasting impact on both boys. In a follow-up by ESPN, Jarvis reflected, “I don’t think it’s changed me, but it’s changed my lifestyle. People know me, and so I always need to be doing the right thing.” The two became friends, and their story is now held up as a symbol of what youth sports should look like.

    Many adults could even learn from the emotionally intelligent and empathetic interaction of these two kids. Good sportsmanship all around. Love to see it. Big kudos to these kiddos and whoever raised them.

    This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

  • The empowering advice Eleanor Roosevelt shared for anyone struggling with self-worth and confidence
    Photo credit: WikipediaEleanor Roosevelt shared her insights on building self-worth and confidence.

    Eleanor Roosevelt lived a one-of-a-kind life that included her role as first lady of the United States. Born in 1884, she became a prominent figure in American politics and culture.

    She was also a prolific writer and penned a syndicated newspaper column called “My Day” six days a week from 1935 until her death in 1962.

    In it, she shared the wisdom and advice she had gathered throughout her life. In one column from 1943, Roosevelt offered her confidence-building advice:

    “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

    Roosevelt’s insightful wisdom centers on separating self-worth from the opinions and perceptions of others and instead turning inward to find value and confidence. Her advice came years after surviving a traumatic childhood and undergoing her own self-discovery.

    Roosevelt’s personal struggle with confidence

    Roosevelt had a tumultuous upbringing. Her mother died of diphtheria when she was only eight years old, and less than two years later, her father died due to depression and alcoholism. She was orphaned by age 10, and Roosevelt’s grandmother, Mary Hall, became her guardian.

    Roosevelt also grew up feeling self-conscious about her appearance and serious demeanor, according to a short biography published by The George Washington University’s Eleanor Roosevelt Papers Project.

    She was given many nicknames, including “Granny,” “very plain,” and “old-fashioned.” Roosevelt once wrote, “I was a solemn child without beauty. I seemed like a little old woman entirely lacking in the spontaneous joy and mirth of youth.”

    Despite these challenges, Roosevelt found her sense of worth and confidence through education. Her grandmother sent her overseas in 1899, when she was 15, to attend Allenswood Academy in London. It was there that she discovered her gift for forming friendships and her love of learning.

    In her autobiography, Roosevelt wrote that she developed “confidence and independence,” adding that she was “totally without fear in this new phase of my life.”

    Roosevelt also wrote about battling people-pleasing. “I was always afraid of something: of the dark, of displeasing people, of failure. Anything I accomplished had to be done across a barrier of fear,” she wrote.

    @jayshetty

    What idea are you discussing today? Elenor Roosvelt’s quote is worth remembering

    ♬ original sound – Jay Shetty

    Tips for building self-worth and confidence

    Building confidence and self-worth is a difficult process that may require intentional effort. Zack Goldman, a psychotherapist and founder of Solid Ground Psychotherapy, shares three helpful tips for anyone struggling with feelings of inferiority:

    Stop treating confidence like a prerequisite for action

    Goldman explains that one of the biggest misconceptions about confidence is that people think they need to feel confident before doing something difficult.

    “In reality, confidence is usually built afterward through repeated experiences of taking action despite discomfort,” he told Upworthy. “Start with small, manageable risks because every time you prove to yourself that you can tolerate uncertainty, rejection, or imperfection, yourself trust grows.”

    Pay attention to how you speak to yourself during difficult moments

    “Many people unknowingly reinforce low self-worth through constant self-criticism, especially when they make mistakes or feel emotionally overwhelmed,” Goldman said.

    He explains that instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” try asking, “What would I say to someone I care about in this situation?”

    “Learning to respond to yourself with more fairness and compassion helps create a more stable sense of worth that is not dependent on constant achievement or external validation,” he added.

    Build a life that reflects your values, not just other people’s expectations

    According to Goldman, people often lose confidence when they spend too much time trying to meet standards that do not actually align with who they are.

    “Self-worth becomes much stronger when your decisions, relationships, and goals reflect your own values rather than approval seeking,” he said. “Even small choices that move you toward a more authentic version of yourself can create a deeper sense of confidence and internal stability over time.”

  • 20 years ago his BBC interview became a viral comedy hit. Now, he’s sharing his secret to staying calm.
    Photo credit: BBC News/YouTubeGuy Goma realizing he’s in the wrong interview, circa 2006.

    Since his accidental 15 minutes of fame in 2006, Guy Goma has been the epitome of keeping calm under pressure.

    The video—in which Goma showed up for a job interview at the BBC and was mistaken for, quite literally, another Guy (technology journalist Guy Kewney)—has gone viral time and time again, thanks in no small part to how well Goma handled the situation after being thrust into a live on-air interview.

    Now, two decades after the wholesome snafu, Goma has decided to impart some wisdom about turning a potentially catastrophic moment into one of pure grace.

    To be fair, Goma admits he wasn’t stoic the entire time

    Speaking to This Morning, Goma said his initial thoughts were, “God help me. I’m lost completely.”

    However, he remembered the words of his mother, who taught him to quietly fix a problem without embarrassing anyone.

    “My mom always says to us, ‘If you notice something, your brother made a mistake anywhere, correct the mistake first before talking to the person,’” he said.

    Not wanting to make anyone else feel uncomfortable, Goma held onto his composure. That was all the fuel he needed to carry on, answering the questions placed before him with such admirable self-possession that viewers still revisit the clip time and time again. Sure, it’s partly for a good laugh, but also because Goma’s chutzpah is undeniably inspiring.

    The hidden Zen wisdom behind all this

    Nearly all of us have experienced a situation where we felt unprepared, overwhelmed, or suddenly put on the spot (if you haven’t, your time is coming). Goma’s response offers a blueprint for surviving those moments with dignity intact. In similarly anxiety-inducing situations, we can direct our attention outside ourselves and aim to simply be of service in whatever way we can muster in the moment, rather than laser-focusing on what we’re experiencing internally. When that happens—when we forego our concept of “I,” as Buddhists say—what once felt insurmountable often suddenly shrinks to its proper size.

    There’s also something to be said for the fact that Goma never appeared bitter about the misunderstanding that made him Internet-famous. Even not getting the job he originally came to interview for, which he shared was heartbreaking at the time, didn’t ultimately defeat his spirit. Over the years, he has retained his humor and warmth, which has only deepened people’s affection for him.

    Life after becoming Internet-famous

    According to Newstalk, Goma now works with people who have learning disabilities. It might not be the job he planned for all those years ago, but it sounds like he’s found work with purpose nonetheless. He also teamed up with Elliott Gotkine, the BBC producer who put him on the air, to release their story in book form as The Wrong Guy: The Inside Story of TV’s Greatest Cock-Up.

    Though we may never find ourselves accidentally talking shop on live television, may we all handle our own unexpected blunders with that same humility and humor. Who’s to say what surprising blessings might come as a result?

  • A trans man beautifully harmonizes to the song ‘Kiss Me’ alongside a 2018 clip of himself
    Photo credit: Dylan HollowayDylan Holloway shares a side-by-side clip with his former self before transitioning.

    British singer-songwriter Dylan Holloway, who performs as Dylan and the Moon, has been wowing audiences with his voice for quite some time. But what makes Holloway especially unique is that he also charmed crowds before identifying as male. While Holloway had long wrestled with his gender identity, he transitioned from female to male during the COVID-19 pandemic. While some might say they never look back, Holloway chooses to look back with love and gratitude for his former self.

    In a recent clip posted to Holloway’s Instagram page, he shows his followers a split screen. On the left is Dylan presenting as female, with blonde curls and soprano notes. That side is labeled “2018.” On the right is modern-day Dylan, now presenting as male, shirtless and tattooed, marked “2026.” To the song “Kiss Me,” he harmonizes with his former self, and it’s absolutely pitch-perfect.

    “A duet with my past self”

    At the top of the clip, he writes, “Singing with my past self…trans duet.” Holloway adds in the comments:

    “A duet with my past self. I make these videos because it brings me joy to embrace my entire journey & it helps me spread love to others who may wish to do the same… I’m proud of who I am & the unique art I can make because of it … whoever you are, whatever your journey, you are wonderful & deserve love for your whole self too.”

    Fans in the comment section were equally loving and seemingly in awe:

    “You were and are a beautiful person, with a lot of charisma, musically and a beautiful voice. In both interpretations. Gifted! I’m impressed.”

    “I see a talented musician who is proud of his story and who loves himself, as he should.”

    Sixpence None the Richer

    As for the song? The year was 1998. The band Sixpence None the Richer had taken American radio stations by storm with their sweet, melodic single “Kiss Me” from their self-titled album, released a year earlier. Its lyrics are pretty straightforward, though some could call them a tad bossy. The singer would like a gentleman to kiss her “behind the bearded barley. Nightly, behind the green, green grass. Swing, swing. Swing the spinning step. You’ll wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.” Holloway nails every note.

    @dylanandthemoon

    The X Factor (lol) 11 years & 1 transition later 🏳️‍⚧️ 😂 #xfactor #transition #transgender #transman before and after

    ♬ original sound – DylanAndTheMoon

    Obvious X Factor

    Back in 2012, Holloway became a sensation while competing on Britain’s The X Factor, where he ended up as a finalist in a band called MK1. More recently, he compiled clips from the show featuring his former self singing beautifully then and just as purely now as a man.

    In an interview with DIVA Magazine, Holloway described his time on the show:

    “MK1 ended up at the finals on national television, which was such a turning point in my life. Until then I had just been a little androgynous kid from Newquay with a secret inside me, and now I was a rapper in an urban band on telly. But everyone knew me as someone I wasn’t, and I felt like a caricature of myself. Eventually, after a few years, these feelings bubbled to the surface and I couldn’t continue to be this person everyone thought I was, so I drifted and started releasing my own music under the name Lots Holloway.”

    Compassion and love

    When asked what it’s like singing with his former self, Holloway seemed to feel at peace:

    “It’s actually such a wonderful experience to look at them now. I think a lot of transgender people find there’s a pressure, whether they put that on themselves or it is external pressure, to eliminate the person you once were when you become someone new. Now I’m the person I am today, I look back at old footage of myself with this new compassion and love. I wouldn’t be here right now if it wasn’t for that brave, resilient, and bold soul that was brave enough to come out.”

    Alongside his career as a musician, Holloway also speaks professionally about mental health advocacy and LGBTQ rights. On the Raise the Bar website, where he is listed as one of its motivational speakers, the organization shares the importance of these side-by-side videos: “In posting these videos, he spreads the message that it is okay to accept your old self, as it is all part of the journey that makes you who you are now.”

    Upworthy spoke with Holloway, who shared how he feels about transitioning and music in general.

    “For awhile, I thought I had to leave that version of myself behind. But over time, I realised there was something really beautiful about letting both versions of me exist together,” he said. “So instead of erasing my past, I started creating duets with old vocal recordings and videos I had. Almost like having a conversation across time with younger me. So healing. How many people ever have that opportunity? I want other people to know it’s okay to embrace who you are – the whole story.”

    He says his favorite duet so far is “Yellow” by Coldplay.

    “This song came out when I was growing up and confused about myself,” he said. “I recorded it on a rooftop in 2018. Then went back to the same place in 2026 to film again, totally free and transitioned. And the merging of those two people together, to me, is beautiful. I love how the lyrics mean something totally different in this context. ‘Your skin and bones turn into something beautiful. I swam across. I jumped across for you. You know I love you so.’ All of it.”

    He added, “My dream is that Coldplay will see it and see how much their song helped heal me. And one day, we will play it together with the old version of me projected behind us to sing it too. In a huge stadium, of course. I want to spread the message of acceptance and love as far as we can.”

    “Traditional songwriting” is where he draws most of his influence: “People who tell stories. People who write to move others. Dolly Parton, David Bowie, Coldplay, Paul Simon, Tracy Chapman. Iconic.”

    He plans to keep telling those stories.

    “I’m a totally independent artist, and this year, I’m creating an album in public and allowing my fans to make decisions along the way,” he said. “I make one bit of content a day and release one song a month. Eventually, it will all come together into an album. And my fans will know they helped bring it to life. So everyone is welcome to come and get involved!”

    Holloway is also releasing a documentary later this year that shares more of his story. “It shows an up close and personal journey of my transition from the lens of being a singer who risked losing their voice,” he said.

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