The group turning religious leaders into LGBTQ rights crusaders in Kenya

This piece was first published on Reasons to Be Cheerful and is part of the SoJo Exchange from the Solutions Journalism Network, a nonprofit organization dedicated to rigorous reporting about responses to social problems. Penda* did not feel worthy of a seat at the table with the 15 religious leaders she found herself nervously sitting…

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ArrayPhoto credit: Reasons to Be Cheerful

This piece was first published on Reasons to Be Cheerful and is part of the SoJo Exchange from the Solutions Journalism Network, a nonprofit organization dedicated to rigorous reporting about responses to social problems.

Penda* did not feel worthy of a seat at the table with the 15 religious leaders she found herself nervously sitting across from, seven of them Christian, eight of them Muslim.

“Before I attended that forum, I knew that I was a sinner,” she recalls. “I didn’t think it was possible for me to go near a church. I didn’t even think that I could have a conversation with a religious leader.”

Yet in 2014, Penda, a masculine-presenting lesbian, found herself in conversation with these faith leaders, all of whom believed — and in many cases preached — that homosexuality is evil. But this was no ordinary conversation. At Penda’s side were three other people: a Kenyan gay man, a sex worker and someone living with HIV. None of the faith leaders knew these details. That information was held back — until just the right moment presented itself.

The forum was part of a strategic faith engagement session organized by Persons Marginalized and Aggrieved in Kenya (PEMA Kenya), a sexual and gender minority group in the coastal city of Mombasa. In Kenya, where the LGBTQ community is a frequent target of conservative religious leaders, who preach discrimination and sometimes even violence against them, PEMA Kenya takes an unusual approach: it works to “convert” faith leaders to the gay rights cause by introducing them to LGBTQ people, face to face, to build empathy, compassion and understanding.


The carefully orchestrated encounters require the utmost care — for all involved. “We don’t aim to ‘sensitize’ religious leaders,” says Lydia Atemba, a member of the faith engagement team. “We also prepare and equip our community to participate in dialogue with them. We try to bridge the gap on both sides.”

The most unlikely allies

The five-day event attended by Penda and the 15 religious leaders was ostensibly to discuss barriers to health care faced by marginalized people who have HIV. For the first three days of the forum, no explicit mention of homosexuality was uttered.

“We [then] brought other queer members into the sessions and they spoke with the religious leaders,” says Pastor McOveh, a queer pastor who helps to facilitate the program. (He requested his first name not be used.)

Penda was one of them. Now 44, she calmly shared her experience as a lesbian living in Mombasa. She had moved there in 2010, leaving behind the ruins of Kitale, a cosmopolitan town in Kenya that was struggling to recover from the 2007 election crisis. She described to them how she was verbally abused, and how she had been forced to sever ties with her spirituality because of faith leaders preaching anti-gay violence and discrimination.

“I have had troubles reconciling my sexuality and faith,” she told the group.

She says sharing her personal story was surprisingly effective. The faith leaders’ beliefs weren’t instantly transformed, but, she says, “I think I saw a lot of compassion in some of them.”

She was right. One of the conservative religious leaders in attendance that day was Pastor John Kambo. A pastor at the Independent Pentecostal Church of Kenya, Kambo was well known for his public attacks on the LGBTQ community. He once declared that “the gender and sexual minorities, especially in worship places, are cursed sinners and will go to hell.”

This wasn’t Kambo’s first PEMA session. The organization had been holding discussions with him for four years, gradually drawing him onto their side. “It was just follow-up meetings — continuous engagement overtime [to] change the way [he] sees things,” recalls Ishmael Bahati, PEMA Kenya’s executive director and co-founder. During this period, Kambo began reflecting on what the Bible says about love. According to transcripts from PEMA Kenya, he ultimately said that “continuous participation in these trainings opened my mind and I realized that we are all human beings.” The meeting with Penda was his last as an outsider — afterwards, he joined PEMA Kenya as an active, dedicated member, and remained one until his death last month.

In the end, Kambo became an unlikely friend to the queer community. He underwent PEMA’s Training of Trainers, which taught him how to carefully discuss LGBTQ concerns with his fellow faith leaders. But his conversion came at a price. He was excommunicated from the church for three years, and his marriage hit the skids. He continued to be an ally, however, and in 2018 he became the first religious leader to be nominated as a “Human Rights Defender” by the National Coalition of Human Rights Defenders — Kenya.

That same year, Kambo invited Pastor Benhadad Mutua Kithome to a PEMA discussion. “PEMA Kenya produced good notes, and they were helping us very much,” Kithome says of that meeting. “Some pastors were not agreeing with them — they were just agreeing with what the scriptures say. The way Sodom and Gomorrah was. The way, because of homosexuality, people were punished. But because of this training, some pastors, especially me, came to understand.”

Athumani Abdullah Mohammed, an Ustaz (Islamic teacher) whose view of queer people changed gradually after partaking in a PEMA session in 2018, had a similar experience.

“When I got a chance to engage, it was not easy because… I work with conservative organizations,” he says. “The whole gospel I was hearing was against ‘this people,’ as they called them. I thank my brother Ishmael because he was so persistent. He brought me on board. The funny thing is, the first meeting we held was not a good meeting. I was so against everything they were saying, but he saw something in me which I couldn’t see by myself. And he kept on engaging me. Now, I learned to listen and I opened myself to listen. I listen to what I want to hear — and what I don’t want to hear.”

Converting a culture

The coastal city of Mombasa is a conservative place. Religion is at its core, and local faith leaders wield outsized influence, often preaching violence against the queer community.

“Rhetoric vilifying LGBT people, much of it by religious leaders, is particularly pronounced on [Kenya’s] coast, and shapes public perceptions,” according to a Human Rights Watch report.

This was the environment into which PEMA Kenya launched in 2008. Started as a health and social wellbeing community for gay and bisexual men following the tragic death of a gay man in Mombasa — he became sick and was abandoned by his family — the group later expanded to accommodate other gender and sexual minority groups. Then, in 2010, a call to “flush out gays” by two major religious groups — the Council of Imams and Preachers of Kenya (CIPK) and the National Council of Churches of Kenya (NCCK) — led to a spate of attacks on queer people.

The violence became a catalyzing moment for PEMA Kenya. “We thought that it is a good time to have a dialogue with the religious leaders,” recalls Bahati, “to see if we can have a lasting solution for the attacks.”

The organization appears to be making progress toward that goal. Until five years ago, Bahati says, Ramadan, which concluded this month, was a particularly dangerous time for queer people in Kenya’s coastal region. A U.S. government report supports this observation, concluding that “the highest incidences of violence in the Kenyan Coast, which has a largely Muslim population, are reported during Ramadan.”

For this reason, organizations like PEMA used to focus on simply keeping LGBTQ people safe from harm during these weeks. “Most organizations were looking for funds to relocate people, to support people” during this period, says Bahati.

But this year’s Ramadan has been different. Attacks on queer folks are down, Bahati reports. “Things have really changed.” He believes PEMA’s years of meticulous relationship building are beginning to bear fruit. To date, PEMA has trained 619 religious leaders, 246 of which are still active members in the network. These members are crucial to spreading the acceptance of queerness in their congregations and communities in Mombasa and across Kenya. They also facilitate events alongside queer pastors and Ustaz, and review the group’s strategic faith engagement manual, Facing Our Fears.

According to Jide Macaulay, an openly gay British-Nigerian priest, the influence religious leaders hold over public perception makes them invaluable allies. In his experience, building radical queer institutions in a place like Mombasa just isn’t effective. This is something he learned first-hand — in 2006, Macaulay founded House of Rainbow, the first queer church in Nigeria. It was considered an affront to the societal and religious norm, and met with hostility. It lasted only two years.

“My largest focus was on the [queer] community, not necessarily on the rest of the society,” he says. “We didn’t take time to educate the society. House of Rainbow would have benefitted if we had allies within the community. [It] would have benefitted if we started maybe as a support group rather than a full-blown church.”

Now, like PEMA Kenya, House of Rainbow has evolved to make engagement with Christian and Islamic faith leaders the core of its mission, holding forums in Malawi, Zambia, the Democratic Republic of Congo, South Africa, Lesotho, Botswana, Zimbabwe and Ghana.

What the scriptures say

Bahati’s expertise as an Islamic scholar comes in handy. For instance, he notes that the role of language is key to winning converts to an inclusive community.

During PEMA’s strategic meetings, faith leaders are introduced, carefully and tactfully, to humanizing language. “You see, the word homosexual, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer are not bad words,” says Macaulay. “Society has made them scary.” PEMA’s facilitators explain appropriate usage, context and meanings, and the harmful implications of using such language as slurs.

“What we say is that language is not innocent,” says McOveh, the gay pastor. “Most of the time we realize that faith leaders use language unknowingly.”

Of course, simply teaching more sensitive language is only the first step. In the Bible and Quran, certain verses and stories are still used to justify homophobic slurs and attacks.

“You realize that scriptures have different interpretations,” says McOveh, “so we try to find common ground to tell them that, see, there is this which is provided by the religion and this which is given as perception.” Macaulay echoes this point. “Looking at the Bible, there’s a history of bad theology, mistranslation, and that mistranslation has caused many churches not to understand that homosexuality is not a sin. Homosexuality is not like robbery or theft. Homosexuality is like being Black. Homosexuality is like being albino. There are things that you just cannot change…Homosexuality is not a crime and it should never be criminalized.”

While groups like PEMA Kenya and House of Rainbow have battled systemic homophobia in society, their efforts are still “a drop of water in the ocean,” says Macaulay.

Homosexuality remains illegal in Kenya. The Penal Code explicitly criminalizes it, and a conviction can carry a prison sentence of up to 14 years. Petitions filed in Nairobi and Mombasa high courts in 2019 to rule these laws unconstitutional were both dismissed this year. Appeals have been filed, but according to Michael Kioko, a lawyer and LGBTQ advocate, it would take a long time to get a ruling.

“We’ll have to wait for years to see whether the court of appeal will declare those provisions unconstitutional, and they may not,” he says.

32 out of 52 African countries criminalize same-sex relations, with punishment ranging from death to lengthy prison terms. In some ways, these laws lend legitimacy to perpetrators of homophobic violence and discrimination.

The pandemic has presented PEMA Kenya with yet another challenge. The delicate work of working with new religious leaders can be risky, and the discussions can only take place in a secure location, says Mohammed.

“You cannot talk to people about these things in their area,” he says. “You need to be very particular when it comes to safety because it’s a lot of voices which are talking against this and people are willing to kill.” Holding discussions with participants in an undisclosed location is safer, but it requires funding which PEMA has spent on taking care of needy community members during the lockdown.

Still, the efforts of PEMA Kenya’s faith leaders continue to foster a safer city for a lot of queer people in Mombasa — in the streets, in the churches and mosques, and in their own homes. “[Now] someone can walk for a kilometer without being attacked,” says Penda with relief. “Those were things that were not very much happening back then.”

*Name has been changed to protect the person’s identity.


  • Bridgerton’s Luke Thompson shared his favorite French phrase. We need something like it in English.
    France isn't the only country with a saying like "un ange passe."Photo credit: Canva

    Luke Thompson has achieved heartthrob status as Benedict Bridgerton, the free-spirited, second-born son of the noble family featured in the popular Bridgerton television series. The show’s fourth season focuses on Benedict’s Cinderella-esque love story with a servant named Sophie, played by Yerin Ha.

    In an interview promoting season four, Thompson and Ha read questions from Bridgerton fans. One person asked Thompson, who grew up in France and speaks fluent French, to share his favorite French phrase.

    @etalkctv

    We can’t think of a better French teacher! 🇫🇷 Luke Thompson revealed what his favourite French phrase is and taught Yerin the language of love in the process! Watch the FULL video of Yerin Ha and Luke Thompson texting fans at the link in our bio. 🔗 Part 1 of ‘Bridgerton’ season 4 is streaming NOW on @Netflix. #LukeThompson #YerinHa #Bridgerton #French #BenedictBridgerton @Yerin Ha

    ♬ original sound – etalk

    “My favorite French phrase is probably…Oh! ‘Un ange passe,’” he said.

    Ha asked what it meant, and Thompson helped her decipher it. Un = a/an. Ange = angel. Passe = pass(es). In English, “Un ange passe” means “An angel passes.”

    “What it means is, when you’re having a conversation, or like just in a group, it’s a nice way of expressing awkward silence,” Thompson explained. “But it’s just those moments where like, just, there’s a bit of a lull and no one says anything. And you say, ‘Un ange passe.’”

    “You say, ‘An angel passes,’” Ha said. “That’s really nice.”

    It is nice. And it appears to be a glaring omission from the English language, since people in the comments shared that they have similar phrases for awkward silences in their cultures:

    “OMG we say the same thing in Arabic!”

    “We say the same in Portuguese… ‘passou um anjo’ ☺️”

    “In Spanish we say that, at least in Chile ‘pasó un angel or ‘un angel pasó.’”

    “In Spanish we say the same thing!! México 🇲🇽”

    “In Philippines we have this too! Haha may dumaang anghel 😂”

    “In Malay we said: malaikat lalu.”

    “We have that phrase in Danish too. But it’s more an angel went through the room.”

    “The Dutch also have this, but a reverend walks by instead of the angel 🙈 Angel is much nicer.”

    “We say that too in Nigeria. ‘Ndị muozi na agafe.’”

    It seems that many cultures have handy phrases like this to make a conversational lull feel mystical or magical instead of uncomfortable and awkward. The wording may differ from place to place—apparently, in Russia and Kazakhstan they say, “A cop was born”—but why don’t we have anything even close to it in English?

    When silence falls over a group of English speakers, we just stand there and shift our gaze, feeling the heavy seconds tick by. Occasionally, someone might acknowledge the silence by saying, “Well, this is awkward…” but that only emphasizes the awkwardness.

    The irony here is that English speakers tend to be particularly uncomfortable with silence, at least compared to cultures in which silence is viewed more positively.

    In his research, linguist Haru Yamada found that Americans consider the length of silence in Japanese speakers’ conversations to be “unbearably long.” Unlike many other cultures, we have no sweet, playful saying to slice through the pregnant pause.

    Not all silence is uncomfortable, of course. It becomes awkward when we expect others to speak—or when we are expected to speak—and no one does.

    According to Rebecca Roache, associate professor of philosophy at the University of London, the awkward feeling of silence comes from fear of how it might be interpreted: “Specifically, we worry about one or both of two things: having others misinterpret our silence, and having others correctly interpret our silence.”

    In other words, we might worry that people think we’re boring if we don’t have something to say, which would be a misinterpretation of our silence. Then again, we might worry that people will think we’re nervous, which may be a totally correct interpretation of our silence—but just not the impression we want to give others.

    The beauty of having a standard phrase like “un ange passe” is that it allows everyone to acknowledge that lulls in conversation are a normal, universal phenomenon. It says, “This is so common, we even have a saying for it.” That alone helps lessen the awkwardness. The English language’s lack of such a phrase now feels like a big, gaping hole in our social lives.

    Where did the idea of saying “un ange passe” come from in the first place? According to the Lawless French website:

    “No one seems to know the origin of the expression, whether the angel’s passing is what causes the silence or if she is attracted by the tranquility, but either way, un ange passe is a nice way to break the tension and continue chatting.”

    Can we just start saying “an angel passes” now? Do we need to ask anyone’s permission for this? It appears to be pretty universal, so maybe we English speakers just missed the boat somewhere along the centuries. It feels well past time to remedy that.

  • Henry Cavill shared a delightful story about a boy’s teacher who refused to believe his uncle was Superman
    Henry Cavill February 10, 2013Photo credit: Sean Reynolds via Wikimedia Commons

    When Henry Cavill was cast as Superman in 2011, most people were thrilled. His nephew Thomas was thrilled too, and he wanted everyone to know about it.

    At school, during a “talk about your family” day, Thomas told his class: “My uncle is Superman.” His classmates were stunned. Nobody believed him. His teacher, less than impressed, told him plainly: “Thomas, we don’t lie in school.”

    Thomas did not back down. “My uncle is Superman,” he insisted.

    The teacher, now genuinely concerned, raised the issue with Thomas’s mother when she came to collect him that afternoon. She walked her through the whole incident, explaining that the school did not encourage children to make things up in front of their peers. Thomas’s mother listened patiently, then delivered the news as gently as she could.

    “I hate to tell you this,” she said, “but it’s all true.”

    Cavill told the story on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno in June 2013, and it got so much mileage that he retold it on Live with Kelly and Ryan in 2018. Both times, audiences loved it for the same reason: Thomas never wavered. He knew what he knew, and no amount of adult skepticism was going to change it.

    “My uncle is Superman” is not the kind of claim most teachers are prepared to receive. But from Thomas’s perspective, it was simply a fact about his life, one that happened to be harder to verify than most. As Cavill told the story, there was no drama, no grand reveal. Just a small boy, stubbornly telling the truth, and a mother who had to gently correct a teacher’s assumptions at school pickup.

    The clip from the Live with Kelly and Ryan appearance has amassed over nine million views, with fans delighting in the specifics. “I hope the teacher replied by saying ‘I’m going to need you to prove that,’” one commenter wrote. “If my uncle was Superman I would brag about it every single day,” said another.

    Thomas, for his part, appears to have handled the whole thing with exactly the composure you’d expect from someone whose uncle saves the world for a living.

    This article originally appeared last year.

  • His classmates wouldn’t sign his yearbook. He signed it himself. Then Paul Rudd got involved.
    Photo of a high school; (Inset) Paul Rudd Photo credit: Gage Skidmore via Wikimedia Commons

    When Brody Ridder came home from school on May 24, 2022, his mom took one look at his yearbook and felt her heart crack open. He’d asked all kinds of kids to sign it. Two had. Two teachers had. And then, on one of the pages, in his own handwriting: “Hope you make some more friends. — Brody Ridder.”

    He had signed his own yearbook. And then wished himself better luck next year.

    Cassandra Ridder posted a photo of the page to the school’s private Facebook parent group that night. She didn’t ask Brody first, but as she told the Washington Post, she knew he’d be fine with it. “Brody has always told me he wants to be part of the solution.” Her message to other parents was simple: talk to your kids about kindness. She had no idea what was about to happen.

    Other parents showed the post to their kids. Seventeen-year-old Joanna Cooper got a text from her mom with a screenshot and made a decision on the spot, as she told KDVR. “We’re going to sign his yearbook,” she said, “because no kid deserves to feel like that.” She started texting friends. Meanwhile, Simone Lightfoot, also an 11th grader, was doing the same thing. “When I was younger, I was bullied a lot like him,” she told the Washington Post. “We walked in and we were like, ‘Where’s Brody at? Is Brody Ridder in here?’ And they’re like, ‘Yeah, he’s in the back.’ And we’re like, ‘Brody! We’re here to sign your yearbook, bud.’”

    The older kids didn’t just sign their names. As Goalcast reported in its coverage, they asked Brody about his hobbies, which turned out to include chess and fencing, and gave him a pep talk. Many of them had been in similar situations at his age. Once the upperclassmen started filling pages, the kids in Brody’s own class started getting up from their seats to sign it too. “It was like a domino effect,” Cassandra told Fox News. “It was beautiful.” By the end of the day, Brody had collected more than 100 signatures, paragraphs of encouragement, and a handful of phone numbers.

    “It just made me feel better as a person,” Brody told KDVR. “I don’t know how to explain it. It just makes me feel better on the inside.”

    The story didn’t stay local for long. After Cassandra posted an update to her personal Facebook, it spread widely. Letters started arriving at the Ridders’ P.O. Box from people across the country and around the world, people of all ages who recognized something in Brody’s story. By July, at least 600 letters had arrived, with more still coming, including one dictated by a three-year-old to his mom.

    Among those who reached out was Paul Rudd. According to the Denver Post, Rudd’s sister saw Cassandra’s post and contacted her to say the actor would love to connect with Brody. Rudd FaceTimed him and sent a care package that included a signed Ant-Man helmet and a handwritten note telling Brody that things get better and that many people, Rudd included, thought he was “the coolest kid there is.”

    Cassandra and Brody have since partnered with The UGLI Foundation, an anti-bullying nonprofit, to keep the conversation going, according to the Denver Post. Cooper, the 11th grader who organized the original yearbook visit, said she planned to push for a schoolwide signing event the following year so no student would face an empty book again.

    Brody said he’s not sure all the kids who refused to sign will become his friends. But something shifted. “It made me feel like there’s hope for the school,” Cassandra said, “there’s hope for humanity, and there are a lot of good kids in this world.”

    This article originally appeared two years ago.

  • ‘I am 55 and I look exactly 55.’ Woman’s viral commentary on aging hits all the right notes.
    It's more than okay to look your age.Photo credit: @tingmystyle/Instagram

    “You look like you’re aging backwards!”

    “You can’t be 50—you don’t look a day over 35!”

    “How do you stay looking so young? What’s your secret?”

    While such comments may be well-intentioned, a woman’s viral video challenges the idea that they are actually compliments. Ting, who posts as @tingmystyle on Instagram, looks directly at the camera and says matter-of-factly, “I am 55 and I look exactly 55. Stop telling a woman, ‘You look younger,’ or ‘You look good for your age.’ It’s not a compliment.”

    Challenging youth-obsessed culture

    Ting says such comments only reinforce our youth-obsessed culture.

    “Everyone ages so differently,” she points out. “What are we even supposed to look like at this age? So tired of hearing that ‘She’s in her 50s but looks 20 years younger.’ Why is that the goal?”

    It’s a question worth asking—and definitely one worth pausing to answer. So often, people go along with what society dictates as the norm, and today that norm means trying to look younger than one’s age. But why? Traditionally, elders have been revered. When did we decide youth was superior?

    As Ting declares, “I don’t survive five decades to be obsessed with looking 30. How many people never made it to 55?”

    Aging is a privilege

    Aging is a privilege not everyone gets. Shouldn’t we feel happy to have lived as long as we have? Part of wanting to look younger may be that getting older reminds us of our mortality. But in reality, none of us knows our timeline, and if we see each day of life as a gift, the more days we’ve lived, the better.

    “Women don’t owe the world youth, beauty frozen in time,” Ting states. “Looking my age, or even older than my age, is not a failure. Youth is not a standard. It’s just a season. And the seasons change.”

    Four images of trees and leaves during the four seasons as a metaphor for the seasons of life
    Every season has its unique beauty. Photo credit: Canva

    Amen. When we hold youthful beauty up on a pedestal, we miss the beauty of every other season. And though women have borne the brunt of the expectation to remain young-looking, men are feeling the pressure to look younger as well. Just look at the Hollywood stars across the gender spectrum getting facelifts and eyelifts. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look good. But that’s not the same as trying to look young.

    “We look our age not because we’ve let ourselves go, but because we’ve finally let ourselves be,” says Ting. “I am so proud to look my age.”

    Embracing aging with pride

    It feels like an act of defiance to let ourselves look our age, much less be proud of it. But with more than eight million views, middle-agers everywhere heard Ting’s message loud and clear.

    Here’s what people are saying in the comments:

    “Ooooh, youth is not a standard, it’s just a season. Loveeeee.”

    “‘How many people never made it to 55.’ My mum never made it. I would have loved to send this video to her.”

    “Turning 39 next year and I’m excited! Like wow thank you for another year of life! I almost died in 2022 from a stroke and every birthday I’m just so thankful for my life.”

    “Aging is a privilege. I’ve lost too many people who would have loved to be here, wrinkly & full of sun spots and grey hairs.”

    “Yes! I’m 58. Don’t call me ‘young lady.’ Don’t tell me ‘happy 30th,’ on my birthday. Do you imagine I was having this much fun when I was 30? I wasn’t.”

    “Yes! Yes! Yes! When I turned 50 someone said to me – and I quote – ‘That’s ok 50 is the new 30!’ And I immediately shot back – ‘God I hope not. At 30 I was knee deep in diapers, never got any sleep and cared way too much about what other people said.’ At 58 when someone tells me I don’t look my age all I say is yes I do and change the subject.”

    “I’m 55 too. My only goal is to have clear glowing skin. I’m not supposed to look like my kids and I’m okay with that.”

    “I like giving compliments like wow you have amazing skin. Or wow you have such gorgeous shiny hair. Your eyes are bright – etc. You’re so right about youth-based compliments.”

    Examining our own habits

    So many are taking Ting’s message to heart, and it’s something to consider the next time we feel compelled to tell someone they look young for their age. Is this really a goal we want to reinforce? Or is it a social norm that needs to be thoughtfully examined—if not outright done away with?

    Thank you, Ting, for putting it so plainly and for serving as an example for us all.

    You can follow Ting on Instagram here.

  • A non-American asked how lemonade stands work. The responses are an absolute field day.
    Kids in the United States love to have lemonade stands.Photo credit: Canva
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    A non-American asked how lemonade stands work. The responses are an absolute field day.

    “I personally believe it’s illegal to not buy lemonade from a lemonade stand, especially if the kids are young and having fun.”

    Having a lemonade stand is like a rite of passage for children in the United States. So much so that they’ve become a trope in many movies set in America.

    Lemonade stands evoke nostalgia and fond childhood memories for many Americans. According to Smithsonian Magazine, 40% of Baby Boomers reported having a lemonade stand during their childhood.

    So when a non-American on Reddit genuinely asked if lemonade stands are “a real thing” here in the States, they got a flood of emphatic responses.

    Adding that in their country “parents would be embarrassed if their kids did that,” they asked Americans to describe “the vibe” of lemonade stands.

    “Is it seen as a cute hobby or an actual way to learn about money?” they wrote.

    And while many Americans confirmed that lemonade stands are indeed breeding grounds for future entrepreneurs, they also explained why they symbolize so much more in American culture.

    American lemonade stands, explained

    Some American Redditors took a more straightforward approach, describing what lemonade stands are all about and how they support kids with a business mindset:

    “It’s not something kids do to actually support their families. It’s a for fun thing typically done when school is out for pocket money or for fun to learn about running a business.”

    “I’ll also add that many people like to support kids doing this. I rarely want a cup of lemonade, but I pretty regularly stop to buy some when I see a stand in the summer. People like supporting kids who are putting in effort and people find it cute. It’s similar to kids mowing lawns, shoveling snow, selling bottled water, watering gardens, etc. for cash.”

    “I don’t want the lemonade, but I want to reward the kids for initiative. I’ll usually pay for a few, drink one and then tell others to stop by.”

    “I ALWAYS stop when I see one. Anytime I do I always overpay. $1 lemonade? Here is $5+ (depends on what I have). I’ve done it… 4 times so far? Not often but enough to make me happy to do it.”

    “Yes and I personally believe it’s illegal to not buy lemonade from a lemonade stand, especially if the kids are young and having fun.”

    “Yeah it’s viewed here they the kid is a ‘go getter’. They’re motivated and trying to get ahead. It’s not common on super busy roads, but on smaller neighborhood roads.”

    Americans share their nostalgic lemonade stand memories

    Others offered up their personal stories of how setting up a lemonade stand back in the day impacted them:

    “I remember receiving a Sacagawea dollar as a kid selling lemonade!! Best customer ever!”

    “When I was of the age (early 1970s) we had a giant lemon tree in our yard, that we used to make the lemonade. Ours was definitely not ‘warm and horrible.’ Ice came from the trays for free, but my mother lent us the money to buy the sugar, and we paid her back from profits. I guess she was really into the authenticity of the business experience.”

    “My dad made me pay him back for the frozen lemonade cans (where you add water to create a quart or half gallon), but didn’t tell us until after so our price of $0.50 barely covered it. Killed my business initiative real quick Selling coffee at the bottom of my driveway that was across from a polling place was far more effective.”

    @sweetmamamadeline

    Even tho I don’t like lemonade… I am still always going to stop! 🤣 #lemonadestand #mom

    ♬ original sound – mama madeline | mom life

    The history of the lemonade stand

    According to Smithsonian Magazine, the first recorded lemonade stand in the U.S. appeared in New York City in the fall of 1839. The publication also noted that in 1880, The New York Times reported that “a customer can have a glass of ice-cold lemonade, made before his eyes, for five cents.”

    Back then, lemonade was hawked by adults. By the early 1900s, it had become a popular entrepreneurial venture for children. Kids initially sold lemonade for charitable purposes. After states passed laws in 1918 requiring school attendance for children, lemonade stands became a summer staple.

    In recent years, many states have cracked down on lemonade stands due to public health concerns. Some began requiring permits for kids to run them. However, many states have also bucked regulation—including Georgia and Texas—ensuring that lemonade stands continue to be part of many American childhoods.

  • 21 years ago, Halle Berry made history by turning a Razzie into one of her most iconic performances
    Halle Berry made history by turning a Razzie into one of her most iconic performances.Photo credit: Razzie Channel/YouTube & Canva

    In 2004, the film Catwoman (directed by a French visual effects supervisor known simply as Pitof) was unleashed on the world, and it did not go well. The movie received scathing reviews, landing at 8% on Rotten Tomatoes (with an audience score of 18%). This didn’t go unnoticed by the Golden Raspberry committee, which bestowed seven nominations on the film, including Worst Picture, Worst Screenplay, and Worst Actress for Halle Berry.

    Did this stop Berry from having a good time? Absolutely not. In 2005, she created one of the most iconic power moves Hollywood has ever seen.

    For those unaware, the Golden Raspberry Awards (better known as the Razzies) began in 1981 as a satirical antithesis to the Oscars. The idea was that if filmmakers received prizes for “good work,” they should also have to accept awards for the “best worst” movies.

    So when Berry “won,” she didn’t just take it in stride. She used it as a reminder that she’s one of the entertainment business’ most incredible performers.

    Posted on the Razzie YouTube page, we see two presenters announce her name: “Halle Berry for Catwoman.” The crowd claps and laughs as we see a clip of Berry in the film, sniffing catnip manically.

    “Ladies and gentlemen—Halle Berry.” The crowd erupts as Berry, clad in a beautiful black dress, comes roaring onto the stage holding both her Razzie and her Oscar, which she received in 2002 for her work in Monster’s Ball. She feigns shock and excitement as the crowd jumps to its feet for a standing ovation.

    Berry’s speech

    “Oh my gosh,” she yells into the mic while milking every cheer. She pretends to hyperventilate, perhaps even tearing up a bit. “Thank you, guys! Thank you so much! I never in my life thought I’d be up here winning a Razzie.” The crowd laughs uproariously. “I mean, it’s not like I ever aspired to be here, but thank you!”

    What she does next is on another level. She holds up her Oscar and screams, “And no, I don’t have to give this back—it’s got my name on it!” Now the audience knows she’s in charge. She composes herself and says, “Ya know? I’ve got so many people to thank, because you won’t win a Razzie without a lot of help from a lot of people. So please indulge me and let me go through this.”

    Spoofing an Academy Award acceptance speech, she begins her list of “gratitude.” “First of all, I want to thank Warner Bros. Thank you for putting me in a piece-of-s–t, God-awful movie! It was just what my career needed, ya know? I was at the top, and then Catwoman just plummeted me to the bottom. Love it!”

    She pauses, then says, “It’s hard being on top. It’s much better being on the bottom.” The list continues. “I want to thank my manager, Vincent Cirrincione,” she says, and ushers him onto the stage. Cirrincione humbly listens while she kids, “This guy loves me. He loves me so much that he tells me I’m the greatest actress who ever was. He loves me so much that he convinces me to do projects even when he knows they’re s–t!”

    He humbly nods and plays along. “My only advice to you, Vinnie, is next time I do a movie—if I get a chance to do another movie—maybe you should read the script? Just counting the zeroes behind the one really isn’t enough. You’ve really got to read the script. Love you, man. Love you!”

    Berry is far from done.

    “I want to thank my agent and lawyers, who obviously don’t give a s–t. They’re not here tonight, but love you guys! I want to thank the writers—all twenty of them—for thinking this was a good idea.” She adds, “You tried, hey.”

    She couldn’t do it alone

    Now it’s time for her fellow actors to receive some love.

    “I want to thank the cast. You know, it’s really important. In order to give a bad performance like I did, you need a lot of bad actors around. So I want to thank all of them for being bad right along with me! One of them is here—Alex Borstein. Come on out!”

    Borstein, who played Sally, the “sassy best friend,” mugs and chews the scenery onstage as she stumbles out with fake tears. The crowd cheers. After they calm down a bit, Berry gets more serious. “One of the best things about Catwoman is I got to make some really wonderful lifelong friendships, and this lady is one of them.”

    Borstein composes herself and gazes into Berry’s eyes. She continues, “And you know what? I want to thank you for every single day looking up at me and telling me I was doing a great job—that I was the best Catwoman you ever saw. I want to thank you for lying straight to my face every day. You know, in Hollywood they lie behind your back, but she lied straight to my face!”

    Again, the crowd goes wild as Berry refocuses her energy. “I also want to thank our director, Pitof—you know, that one-name French guy? Thank you very much.” She admits his accent made it hard to take direction. “I mean, I didn’t know what the hell he was saying, but I’m sure it showed in my performance. But it was truly a joy and a pleasure.”

    Her acting coach is now on deck: “I want to thank my acting coach, Ivana Chubbuck. She just wrote a book called The Power of the Actor. You all should rush to get it. It could change your life too.”

    Berry ends on a serious note, saying, “When I was a kid, my mother told me that if you could not be a good loser, then there’s no way you could be a good winner. If you weren’t able to take criticism, then you were not worthy of getting your praise.”

    She then shares a story of having begun in beauty pageants and learning to control her rage when she lost. “So as you can imagine, I wanted to slap the s–t out of the Razzie people that brought me here tonight. But I won’t do that. I’ll do what my mother taught me and I’ll stand here graciously. I’ll take the criticism—take it as a lesson learned—and hope to God I never see these people ever again. Thank you all!”

    The response

    The audience claps with joyous applause. So did the comment section. On the official YouTube page, there are over 4,000 comments, with one reading, “This lady is classy as hell! Anyone who accepts their Razzie in person has my respect, and the delivery was absolutely priceless!”

    Another comment references the time Adrien Brody gave a six-minute speech for his Best Actor win for the film The Brutalist. The YouTuber jokes, “This speech is longer than Adrien Brody’s 6-minute speech, and hers is undeniably not a second wasted.”

    A clip circulating on Instagram has nearly 18,000 likes and a heap of support for her talent and her sense of humor. One person jokes, “The fact that she brought her Oscar…”

  • Texan who moved to the UK shares 3 ‘mortifying’ experiences that almost made her want to leave
    A woman in a cowboy hat and a woman in a phone booth in the UK. Photo credit: Canva

    If you’re looking to move abroad from the United States, the United Kingdom seems like a natural candidate on its face. After all, moving to the UK means you’ll already speak the language, be relatively familiar with the country’s political structure, and exist within a similar pop culture and media ecosystem.

    But many people who move to London or its surrounding areas are stunned to learn just how different American and British cultures can be.

    Ashley Jackson recently moved from Amarillo, Texas, to South Manchester. She’s been documenting her journey acclimating to the new culture on her TikTok channel. Recently, she shared three “mortifying” experiences that almost made her rethink her new life in the UK.

    texas, london, uk, america, americans, living abroad, UK culture, american culture, cultural differences
    London at night. Photo credit: barnyz/Flickr

    In the tongue-in-cheek post, she reiterates that despite the difficulties and hilarious flops that have arisen from her new life, she’s still having a great time living in Manchester. But things were certainly touch-and-go for a while at first.

    “One, I’ve had a full-on conversation with a person and I didn’t understand a lick of it. She had a very different accent I couldn’t understand,” Jackson says.

    Accents and regional dialects in the UK are among the most diverse and wide-ranging in the world. In the U.S., there are subtle differences between Southern, Cajun, and Northeastern accents, for example. But that’s nothing compared to what even locals encounter in the UK. Even they sometimes have a hard time understanding more niche or obscure dialects like Glaswegian or Devonian. Most Americans are woefully unprepared for the accents they encounter there.

    Issue number two for Jackson? “It hailstoned. While on a hike up a hill, it rained, hailstone, my daughter was crying. Everyone was wet, soggy, feet muddy. Quite traumatizing for all of us, but we’re still here.”

    Weather in the UK can be all over the map, but one thing the region is famous for is rain and hail. Heatwaves and climate change have only contributed to hailstones becoming larger and more frequent. In another video, Jackson says acclimating to the weather in the UK has been a challenge, noting that she had to “toughen up.”

    And finally, issue number three: “I was cut off by my GP (general practitioner) after the 10-minute mark. I didn’t realize there were 10-minute time slots for doctor’s appointments. Learned that one the hard way.”

    One big appeal of living in the UK is the mostly free healthcare provided through the NHS. However, appointments can be hard to come by, and many doctors are strict about keeping visits under 10 minutes so they can manage their patient load. Jackson was stunned to be “cut off” in the middle of a visit, but for locals, that’s just the way it goes.

    Americans moving to the UK often experience extreme culture shock. We sometimes expect the cultures to be so similar that the small differences that do exist catch us completely off guard.

    The language, though fundamentally similar, can take Americans a while to pick up on. British culture is full of slang, regional dialects, and colloquialisms that can be confusing for outsiders. One American who moved there, for example, was baffled when everyone kept calling her cookies “biscuits.”

    A lot of American daily conveniences either don’t exist in the UK or are far more rare. Air conditioning and garbage disposals, for example, are hard to come by. Houses and living quarters in general are much smaller than what most Americans are used to as well.

    Work culture is very different in the UK as well. Citizens usually have a stronger work-life balance and a government-mandated minimum of five weeks of paid vacation.

    In short, moving from America to the UK won’t necessarily be easy just because of the common language. Whether you ultimately enjoy American or British culture more is a matter of taste, but it will take some getting used to—that’s for sure.

    As for Jackson, she says in her videos that even if the adjustment wasn’t easy, she loves the rain, the NHS, and the walkability of life in the UK. She just had to stick it out through a few embarrassing faux pas before she could start enjoying all the perks.

  • 15 things tourists notice in the U.S. that Americans totally miss
    A family poses in front of a home with an American flag.Photo credit: Canva
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    15 things tourists notice in the U.S. that Americans totally miss

    “I’ve lived in the US my whole life. Somehow, I’ve never noticed this before.”

    Tourists see new places with fresh eyes and fresh observations. In 2024, 72.4 million tourists visited the United States, according to the National Travel and Tourism Office. (That’s a lot of eyes seeing America in a new light.)

    Tourists to the States have pointed out that Americans really do like to put ranch dressing on everything. They’ve also noted that in the U.S., squirrels seem to run rampant.

    While these are insightful observations, most Americans would say they already know them to be true. On Reddit, Americans shared the shocking realizations they had about the U.S. that were only revealed to them by tourists.

    As one American noted, “I’ve lived in the US my whole life. Somehow, I’ve never noticed this before.”

    These are 15 eye-opening things tourists brought to Americans’ attention that truly blew their minds:

    Culture

    “We sure do have a lot of flags everywhere.” – myfourmoons

    “American coins don’t have numbers on them.  Some of the coins will say ‘One Cent’ or ‘Quarter Dollar’ but I don’t think that’s helpful if your English is not so good. And sometimes that labeling is just not in a place that easy to see on a coin.” – chocotacogato

    Michael White, a former spokesman for the United States Mint, told The Gainesville Sun that the reason coins in the U.S. don’t have numbers is simple: “It is an artistic choice in the majority of instances.”

    White added that certain coins in the past in the U.S. have used numerical notations, including the dime, nickel, and quarter. The article notes, “From 1809 to 1836, there was a half dollar imprinted with ’50 C.’ That was changed to ’50 cents’ for two years and then, in 1838, artistic choice deemed it should be called ‘half dollar.’”

    “The gap around the stall doors in public restrooms. It’s weird, and I hate it.” – SidheRa

    “So. Many. Insurance. Commercials.” – Reddit_Talent_Coach

    “Bank drive-thru lanes. I was told ‘why don’t you just get out of your car and walk in the bank?’” – JWilsn_Art

    According to Wells Fargo, “motor banks” (aka drive-in and drive-thru banks) were invented in the U.S. and came into existence in the 1930s.

    “That every morning, all American children from kindergarten to 12th grade, stand before the US flag (found in every classroom, ofc) and recite “the pledge of allegiance” to the country in unison, with their right hands over their hearts. Upon learning this universal American school experience, my Russian colleague said: ‘That is the most Comm*nist thing over ever heard!’” – jzzdancer2

    The Pledge of Allegiance, written by Francis Bellamy, debuted in 1892, according to the American Legion. Over the years, it went through various edits until it was recognized by Congress and included in the U.S. Flag Code on June 22, 1942.

    “How much daily life revolves around cars. In many cities, if you don’t drive, you basically don’t exist. It’s convenience on steroids.” – Prior_Bank7992

    Mannerisms

    “That Americans switch between hands when eating with silverware, cutlery, etc.” – BasilRevolutionary38

    Called the “cut-and-switch” table habit, it’s described by NPR as when you “hold your fork in your left hand and cut with your right and then put down your knife so you can switch your fork to your right hand before you take a bite.”

    Americans actually adapted this use of cutlery from the French. Writer Mark Vanhoenacker explained to NPR, “Americans got it from France in the 19th century even as France was giving it up, and no one knows why France gave it up. Maybe just convenience or another change of fashion.”

    “We smile too much. To the point where foreigners, specifically Asians (Korean and Chinese) have pointed out that our smiles feel disingenuous and mean nothing. Really hit home, but despite that, I still smile ‘too much’.” – BMdabbleU

    “How much casual socializing we do with strangers. From small talk to things people in other places consider weirdly intimate (like talking about health problems).” – Practical-Water-9209

    “The lean! The fact that people from the U.S. tend to lean on things while standing, no matter how inappropriate a place or circumstance. I’ve thought about it, and I think its because the U.S. (for the most part) isn’t walkable, so we aren’t used to standing for as along as other countries.” – Lobstertales143

    The Central Intelligence Agency has deemed the “American Lean” a dead giveaway that someone is an American. In 2019, Jonna Mendez, the CIA’s former chief of disguise, and Gina Haspel, former CIA director, told NPR that Europeans can easily spot Americans in a crowd.

    “They think that we are slouchy, a little sloppy,” Mendez said. “And they think that they can almost see that in our demeanor on the street because they stand up straight. They don’t lean on things.”

    Food

    “Root beer tastes like medicine. It’s still my favorite soda but… yeah it tastes mediciney.” – TheNerdNugget

    “Had a German foreign exchange student and she said ‘All American breakfast is dessert. Pancakes, donuts, Cinnabon, muffins, French toast…’ I was like yea you have a point lol.” – dom954

    Words

    “Apparently Americans use the word ‘awesome’ a lot. I’ve had people in other countries tease us for how we think everything is awesome lol. But to be fair, tons of things ARE awesome, and also you’re talking to me on vacation when I’m in the best mood of my life lol.” – Gold_Telephone_7192

    “‘Yeah’ ‘Yeah no’ ‘Yeah right’ ‘Oh yeah’ ‘Hell yeah!’ All mean different things!” – zippy_97

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