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PETA has officially jumped the shark with this meme. (Wait, can I say that?)

PETA put out a meme that could've made a good point, but even hardcore vegans are rolling their eyes at it.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, an animal rights group that boasts 6.5 million members, states on its website that it "focuses its attention on the four areas in which the largest numbers of animals suffer the most intensely for the longest periods of time: in laboratories, in the food industry, in the clothing trade, and in the entertainment industry."

All of that sounds like something reasonable people can get behind. But their latest meme veers a bit away those areas of animal welfare, focusing instead on "anti-animal language" we use in everyday speech:

Words matter, and as our understanding of social justice evolves, our language evolves with it. Just as it would be...

Posted by PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) on Tuesday, December 4, 2018

If you're laughing hysterically by the time you get to "Bring home the bagels," you're not alone. Predictably, the internet is having a heyday with the meme, and even vegetarian and vegan supporters are telling the organization that they've gone too far.

The thing is, they're not wrong. Language matters. But their point gets lost for two reasons.

I'm an animal lover and someone who believes 100% that words matter. I've written entire articles making the point that language is powerful, and it's vital that we recognize when common phrases might be causing harm we're not aware of.

If PETA had simply pointed out that the phrases on the left normalize violence against animals, I could get behind that. I remember explaining to my horse-loving 6-year-old daughter what "beating a dead horse" meant and it opened my eyes to how disturbing some of our common idioms actually are.

However, that point gets lost in this post for two reasons: 1) Comparing these phrases to racist/homophobic/ableist language is way off base. And 2) The replacement phrases sound ridiculous.

While language can affect how we view animal welfare, animals are not psychologically harmed by these phrases.

Comparing "anti-animal language" to racist or homophobic or ableist hate speech is beyond a stretch. While such language may affect our societal approach to animal welfare, it's not the same as language that does direct psychological harm. Unless there are studies I'm unaware of that show birds having a negative emotional reaction to hearing the phrase "kill two birds with one stone," it's simply not comparable.

There is historical, emotional, and psychological trauma as well as direct, ongoing harm to people's psyches when racist, homophobic, and ableist language is used. Hearing hateful words or phrases causes emotional pain to individuals, whereas animals themselves are not directly impacted by hearing these phrases. Our kitten might overhear someone saying, "There's more than one way to skin a cat," and it's not going to make one bit of difference in her happy little world.

So while I avoid that phrase because it's distasteful and does have the potential to normalize violence against animals, it's not the same as using an idiom alluding to, say, lynching or gassing humans. It's just not.

Telling people to "take the flower by the thorns" just trivializes an otherwise reasonable point.

Again, all PETA needed to do was point out that we often use language that alludes to violence against animals and ask people to think about how those phrases might affect how we think about animal welfare. Offering the replacements that they did was a mistake. We can just get rid of problematic language without replacing it with something that sounds silly.

It's kind of like when my mom used to replace chocolate with carob in recipes when I was a kid. The result just made us all mad. Either make something with chocolate or don't, but don't try to replace it with something kinda-but-not-really similar and pass it off as the same. It just doesn't work.

Plus it just makes people's arguments that politically correct language has gone too far sound reasonable. I've defended political correctness in articles as well, and even I find these replacement phrases absurd.

Sorry, PETA, but you truly jumped the shark this time.

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School responded to a parent's book complaint by reading it aloud to the entire student body

What possible issue could a parent have had with this book?

Jess Piper/Twitter

Schools often have to walk a fine line when it comes to parental complaints. Diverse backgrounds, beliefs, and preferences for what kids see and hear will always mean that schools can't please everyone all the time, so educators have to discern what's best for the whole, broad spectrum of kids in their care.

Sometimes, what's best is hard to discern. Sometimes it's absolutely not.

Such was the case when a parent at a St. Louis elementary school complained in a Facebook group about a book that was read to her 7-year-old. The parent wrote:

"Anyone else check out the read a loud book on Canvas for 2nd grade today? Ron's Big Mission was the book that was read out loud to my 7 year old. I caught this after she watched it bc I was working with my 3rd grader. I have called my daughters school. Parents, we have to preview what we are letting the kids see on there."

The book in question, "Ron's Big Mission," highlights a true story from the childhood of Challenger astronaut Ron McNair, who had experienced discrimination as a child in South Carolina because he was Black. In 1959, when he was nine years old, McNair wanted to check out books at the library, but the librarian told him the library didn't loan books to "coloreds." McNair refused to leave the library until he was allowed to check out books. Rather than give him a library card, the librarian called the police, who ultimately convinced her to just let him check out books.

Seriously, what issue could this parent possibly take with such an inspiring story of a kid standing up to injustice and fighting for the right to educate himself? This was a child who single-handedly changed a library's racial segregation policy and grew up to be an astronaut—a genuine, real-life hero. What is there to take issue with? The parent didn't specify, so we're left to conjecture, but if there's any other possible reason than racism, I can't think of one.

Rockwood Education Equity and Diversity Director Brittany Hogan told KMOX News Radio that after hearing of the complaint, other parents responded immediately in the book's defense.

"They were saying this is amazing that they were buying copies of the book," Hogan said. "One of our parents came out and said she was going to purchase a copy for every second-grader at the elementary school that her children attends."

Hogan called McNair a hero and said, "He deserves to be celebrated. His story deserves to be told to our children. It's important that we continue to move in a space that embeds diverse curriculum."

And the school responded in the best possible way—by announcing the book was going to be read aloud to the whole student body via Zoom. That's how you shut down a bigot. Boom.

Here's Pond Elementary Principal Carlos Diaz-Granados reading "Ron's Big Mission" to students via Zoom and sharing why he thinks it's an important book for kids:



- YouTubewww.youtube.com



This article originally appeared on 9.18.23

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Colts tight end Kylen Granson explains he wants to set good example with the ‘Guardian Cap’

“You’re not soft for wearing one.”

Mark Susina|Flickr and Erik Drost|Wikimedia Commons

Colts Kylen Granson explains why he wears guardian cap

One of the big concerns about American football is head-to-head contact. Even though the players are wearing helmets, slamming into another players helmet or being thrown to the ground during a play can cause significant trauma to the brain. While the NFL has banned helmet-to-helmet contact out of safety concerns, it can still happen and nothing can stop a player's head from contacting the hard astroturf or grass covered field.

Hits to the head whether it's from another helmet or from being tackled can cause concussions which not only inhibit the player from continuing in the game but can cause the player to develop a condition called Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE). According to Indiana University School of Medicine, "CTE is a progressive degenerative disease affecting people who have suffered repeated concussions and traumatic brain injuries, that may occur in some athletes and others who have been exposed to concussions and repetitive head impacts."

That's where the "Guardian Cap" comes in.

The padded cap slips over the hard shell of a football helmet to add additional padding to the players head in hopes to reduce traumatic brain events caused by contact during football.

More high schools have been interested in using the caps after the tragic deaths of students who sustained head injuries while playing football.

The caps have made their way to the NFL as optional use but Colts tight end Kylen Granson is determined to set a good example for his peers, youth and his future children. The tight end took to social media to explain why he still planned to wear his Guardian Cap during the regular season though the NFL made it optional.

"This is a Guardian Cap. All it is, is essentially a little extra padding on the exterior of the helmet. This was something that was first introduced last year and most of the offensive line, defensive line were mandated to wear it during practice," Granson explains before adding that other positions had the option to keep wearing it.


File:Colts vs Patriots 2011 01.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

The professional football player says it was essentially an experiment to see if the caps actually reduced concussion rates, finding that it reduced the rates significantly.

Since the reduction in concussion incidents was so steep, the players were mandated to wear them during training camp with the option to wear them during the preseason games, which Granson and a few others did. After the success of the reduction in concussions during training camp and preseason, the NFL gave players the option to wear them during regular season according to the tight end.


Super Bowl Football GIF by DraftKingsGiphy

"For me it was a no brainer. I just said, 'yes I want to wear it the whole season.' I've never really had a problem with the Guardian Caps, they don't really limit vision. They don't add any extra weight that's noticeable. Why would I not add a safety measure onto my helmet," Granson asks.

He further explains that any thing that adds safety for him as the player, especially when it comes to mitigating long term effects takes precedent for him.

Granson shares that he also believes "that it's part of my duty to advocate for my own health and safety and try to encourage others to also make the choice to continue wearing these.

There's no amount of aesthetic that can outweigh what a TBI (traumatic brain injury) could do to you."


Football: Falcons end season on a sour note with 38-21 loss to BYU ...www.af.mil

While the player goes on to explain the small hits add up, comparing the human brain to "a jello inside of your head," he's also taking this safety measure to be an example to younger players and his future children.

"As someone who wants to have kids someday, I want them to also know, hey dad isn't just telling you to be safe, he also is safe when he played. He did everything that he could to protect his head, to protect his brain, to protect his longterm health. I want to inspire kids to think that health and safety is also cool. You can do cool things out on the football field and still wear a Guardian Cap," Granson expresses that it goes beyond the football field to include children wearing bicycle helmets. "There would be no amount of cool that would be worth walking into a hospital room and your child is in a vegetative state because they weren't wearing a helmet. Because they didn't look dumb."


File:Hassan Hall (53141821467) (cropped).jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

The heartfelt, well thought out message was well received with commenters praising Granson for continuing to wear the Guardian Cap and speaking about his reasonings online. Fans and professionals alike came to support the player in his comments.

"As a fan, if it keeps your team's star player on the field instead of on concussion protocol why wouldn't you want them wearing it," one person questions.

"As a speech therapist who has worked with traumatic brain injuries, I was happy to see the guardian caps! Thanks for speaking on this," another writes.


@thekcg83 You’re not soft for wearing one the hits are just as hard you’re just minimizing the repercussions of those hits. ##nfl##nflfootball##nfltok##nflnews##nfltiktok##sportsnews##guardiancap##guardiancaps##colts##coltstarting##coltsfootball##coltsnation##coltsoftiktok ♬ Last Hope (Over Slowed + Reverb) - Steve Ralph


"Fans will come around. Everyone hated the the F1 Halo until it started literally saving lives and now we're all down. We fans can be a little slow but we'll get there," a different commenter reminds others.

"I want you to remember that you helped put a new practice into place without stigma to help other players be safer and do what they love longer," one woman shares while another commenter says, "I'm a TBI researcher. Thank you for advocating for things like this that will increase player safety."

It may take a little longer for the entire league to either opt to wear them or be mandated to wear the caps, but Granson is making the argument simple. Wear the Guardian Cap–increases safety.

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Couple in their 30s live permanently on cruise ships for a little over $10K a year

“I’m not a millionaire ... I just live full-time on cruise ships.”

via Matthew Barra/Pexels

A magnificent cruise ship on the ocean.

Giving it all up and retiring to live on a cruise ship at 32 seems like a lifestyle choice only available to the ultra-wealthy. However, two financially savvy retired school teachers from Tennessee have managed to do just that, spending under $10,000 for the first eight months at sea.

Monica Brzoska, 32, and Jorrell Conley, 36, met in 2015 while teaching in Memphis, Tennessee. The following year, they booked a week-long cruise to Mexico, Belize, and Grand Cayman. After that, they were hooked on cruising together.

Eight years later, in March 2023, they booked a week-long Caribbean cruise. When it was over, instead of returning home to Memphis, they had a wild idea: Why not continue to book consecutive cruises? So, they did just that.

Monica was inspired to start living the life she always wanted after her father fell ill and her mother told her: "Don't wait for retirement. Follow your dreams."



The couple crunched the numbers and found that if they chose the cheapest cabins and used the deals they’ve received from Carnival Cruises, they could book the first 8 months for just under $10,000. “It sounds mad, but the numbers made sense. Accommodation, food and entertainment would be included – we’d only need spending money,” Brzoska told The Sun. “And because we’d been on so many Carnival cruises, we’d earned access to some amazing offers.”

Hopping from ship to ship isn’t difficult for the couple because many disembark from the same ports. But they sometimes have to fly when they can’t walk to the next ocean liner.

The couple then quit their jobs, sold their possessions, and started a new life on the high seas. They rent out their 3-bedroom home in Memphis to maintain steady cash flow. The average 3-bedroom home in the area rents somewhere between $1200 to $1900 a month.



Over the first year of their new life, the couple completed 36 consecutive cruises. They have already visited countless destinations across the globe, but they can’t choose a favorite. "For a cultural experience, we loved Japan," Brzoska told a Carnival Cruise director on Instagram. The couple also loved Greece for its “history” and Iceland because it was the "closest to being on Mars."

One of the most incredible benefits of loving on a cruise ship is that so many things are taken care of for you. The couple never has to cook any meals, do any laundry or drive. Every night, there is something to do, whether it’s checking out a comedy show or enjoying drinks and dancing in the nightclub.



Plus, on cruises, just about all the costs are covered, so you rarely have to open your wallet. It’s a stress-free, all-inclusive lifestyle. Brzoska says that when you remove the everyday stresses from life, it’s great for your marriage. “Without the daily stresses of life, we rarely argued, but always told each other if we needed space or more time together,” she said.

The couple also makes sure to have one date night a week, during which they dress up and have a nice meal together.

Most people may be unable to give it all up and live their lives hopping from ocean liner to ocean liner. But there’s a great lesson in the story of Brzoska and Conley: You never know how much time you have left, so don’t wait for retirement to live the life of your dreams.

Upworthy has reached out to Brzoska for comment and is still awaiting a response.









Family

A mom describes her tween son's brain. It's a must-read for all parents

"Sometimes I just feel really angry and I don’t know why."


It started with a simple, sincere question from a mother of an 11-year-old boy.

An anonymous mother posted a question to Quora, a website where people can ask questions and other people can answer them. This mother wrote:

How do I tell my wonderful 11 year old son, (in a way that won't tear him down), that the way he has started talking to me (disrespectfully) makes me not want to be around him (I've already told him the bad attitude is unacceptable)?

It's a familiar scenario for those of us who have raised kids into the teen years. Our sweet, snuggly little kids turn into moody middle schoolers seemingly overnight, and sometimes we're left reeling trying to figure out how to handle their sensitive-yet-insensitive selves.


Jo Eberhardt, a fantasy writer and mother of two from Australia, penned a reply that is so spot on that it keeps repeatedly popping up on social media. When you nail it, you nail it—and this mother nails it.

"Ah, puberty," she wrote, "It changes our sweet, wonderful little boys into sweet, eye-rolling, angsty, accidentally disrespectful, but still wonderful young proto-men." Yup.

Eberhardt then described a discussion she had with her 11 1/2 -year-old son when he started going through this stage—a conversation they had in the car, which is usually the best place to have potentially uncomfortable discussions with kids.

She told her son that she'd messed up in the way she'd talked to him about puberty, then explained exactly what was happening in his brain.

“I've spent all this time talking to you about the way puberty changes your body," Eberhardt told her son, "and what to expect as you go through the changes, but I completely forgot to talk to you about what's going on in your brain right now. Puberty is the time when your brain grows and changes more than at any other time in your life — well, except for when you're a baby, perhaps. So I really let you down by not preparing you for that. I'm so sorry."

Her son accepted her apology, then asked why is his brain was changing.

“That's the amazing thing," she told him. "Did you know that your brain grew and developed so quickly when you were little that by the time you were about five or six, your brain was almost as big and powerful as an adult's brain?"

"But here's the thing," she continued, "Even though your brain was super powerful, the instructions were for a child's brain. And all the information about building an adult's brain was a bit… let's say fuzzy. So your brain did the best it could, but it didn't really know what kind of person you were going to be back then, or what shape brain you were going to need."

“Now we come to puberty," she went on. "See, puberty is amazing. Not only is your body being transformed from a child's body to an adult's body, your brain has to be completely rewritten from a child's brain to an adult's brain."

“That sounds hard," her son responded.

“Yeah, it is," Eberhardt replied. “That's why I wish I'd warned you first. See, it takes a lot of energy to completely rewrite a brain. That's one of the reasons you get tired quicker at the moment — and that, of course, manifests in you being crankier and less patient than normal."

Eberhardt paused, then added, “That must be really frustrating for you."

Her son looked over at her, wiping his eyes. “It is," he responded. Sometimes I just feel really angry and I don't know why."

It's amazing what happens when we explain to kids the physiological reasons for what they're going through.

Eberhardt continued, “The other thing is that one of the first parts of your brain that gets super-sized to be like an adult is the amygdala. That's the part that controls your emotions and your survival instincts. You know how we've talked about fight/flight/freeze before, and how sometimes our brains think that being asked to speak in public is the same level of threat as being attacked by a sabre tooth tiger?"

Her son laughed. “Yes. So you have to tell your brain that there's no sabre tooth tiger to help you calm down."

“That's right," Eberhardt replied. "Well, that's what the amygdala looks after: sabre tooth tiger warnings and big emotions. So, the thing with puberty is that all of a sudden you've got an adult-sized amygdala hitting all your emotion buttons and your sabre-tooth tiger buttons. That must be really hard for you to manage."

Her son nodded and said, “Sometimes I don't know why I say the things I do. They just come out, and then I feel bad."

This is the moment where what a parent says can make or break a kid's spirit. But Eberhardt handled it with empathy and expertise.

“I know, Sweetheart," she said before explaining:

“See, the last part of your brain that gets rewritten is right at the front of your head. It's called the frontal cortex. And that's the part of your brain that's good at decision making and understanding consequences. So you've got this powerful adult amygdala hitting you with massive emotions, but you've still got a fuzzy child frontal cortex that can't make decisions or understand consequences as quickly as the amygdala wants you to. It pretty much sucks."

“So it's not my fault?" her son asked.

“No, it's puberty's fault your brain works the way it does," Eberhardt answered. "But that doesn't mean it's not your responsibility to recognise what's going on and change your actions. It's not easy, but it's not impossible, either. Your feelings are your feelings, and they're always okay. But you get to choose your actions. You get to choose what you do with your feelings. And, when you make a mistake, you get to choose to apologise for that mistake and make amends."

Eberhardt said she then paused for dramatic effect. “That's how you prove that you're becoming an adult."

It's also remarkable what happens when we empathize and communicate with our kids instead of simply chastising them.

Her son responded with a perfectly understandable and relatable, “Puberty sucks."

“Puberty absolutely sucks," Eberhardt responded. “I'm not in your head, but I can only imagine that it's a mess of confusion and chaos, and you don't know from one minute to the next how you feel about things."

Her son looked at her in surprise. “Yes! Exactly!"

“If it's confusing for you living inside there," Eberhardt continued, "imagine how confusing it is for me, when I only see your actions."

“That must be really confusing," her son agreed.

She nodded. “Do you know what that means?"

“What?"

“It means sometimes I'm going to make mistakes. Sometimes I'm going to get upset at things you do because I don't understand what's going on in your head. Sometimes I'm going to forget that you're halfway to being a man, and accidentally treat you like a child. Sometimes I'm going to expect more from you than you're able to give. This is my first time parenting someone through puberty, and I'm going to make mistakes. So can I ask you a favour?"

“What is it?"

“Can you just keep telling me what's going on in your head? The more we talk, the easier it will be for both of us to get through this puberty thing unscathed. Yeah?"

“Yeah," her son said.

When we let our kids know that we're going through these various phases together, it's easier to work with them instead of against them.

Eberhardt said they "had a cuddle" before they got out of the car. She also said this conversation didn't magically make her son always speak respectfully or make her remember that he's not a little boy anymore. However, it did open up lines of communication and gave them a shared language to use.

For example, she wrote, "He knows what I mean when I say, 'Sweetheart, I'm not a sabre tooth tiger.'"

Ebehardt wrapped up her excellent answer by saying that she and her son are "muddling through this crazy puberty thing" together, and that she's "completely confident that he'll come out the other end a sweet, wonderful young man."

It's always so helpful to see examples of good parenting in action. Ms. Eberhardt's response is something all parents can tuck away for the appropriate time. It's also a great reminder that our tweens aren't trying to try us—they're just trying to get used to their new and improved brains.


This story originally appeared on 1.05.19



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44 years ago he became her protector after a terrible act. Today, they've been reunited in love.

Betsy and Irv are finally getting the happy ending they deserve. Together.

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It’s pretty safe to say that everyone loves a good love story.

There’s a whole genre of music and movies dedicated to the idea of someone being swept off of their feet after circumstances tried to keep them from their true love. Romance novels could single handedly keep public libraries and bookstores afloat. Everyone loves "love" and the story of Betsy and Irv just takes the cake. Betsy Sailor attended Penn State University as a business major, which was almost unheard of in 1978 and Irv Pankey attended the university while playing football. The pair’s paths never crossed, until an unfortunate incident bonded the two forever.


That year, Betsy was at home singing and dancing with her refrigerator door as one does when looking for food, when she was sexually assaulted at knife point by none other than star Penn State football player, Todd Hodne. When Irv heard the evidence against Hodne during the trial, he knew he had to do something about it. In fact, he was the only one on the team who did.

After the assault Betsy moved back on campus, and that’s when she met Irv, a burly football player who understood what it was like to be outcast.

He knocked on her door, introduced himself and offered to essentially be her protection as she traversed through campus. The pair were glued at the hip until graduation. Irv went on to play for the LA Rams and Betsy went on to work in human resources. They hadn't spoken since, until 44 years later when ESPN decided to cover their unique bond that helped Betsy get through college.

And that's when this already compelling tale became a love story.

Irv and Betsy stayed in touch after the documentary was filmed, and when ESPN did an update, Betsy became emotional while talking about Irv. The two smiled and said they spend as much time together as possible. Irv said “We’re riding off into the sunset. Calling it a day. Peace out! I hope we can enjoy each other’s company for the rest of our lives and just move on,” He continued “We’re 65 years old. We ain’t got time to be messing around.”

If that isn’t a love story to write home about, then I don’t know what is. Best wishes Betsy and Irv. You both deserve a lifetime of happiness.


This article originally appeared on 04.29.22

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