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A viral TikTok argues that women don't want to give up the joy of their own personal peace and freedom for anyone.

There's been a lot of discourse on the state of modern dating and a lot of theories on why it seems harder than ever for people to find connection with romantic partners. Could it be that the achievement and education gaps between men and women are altering the dynamics? Have social media and dating apps broken our brains and hearts? Do we all have unrealistic expectations and unlimited options, leading to never feeling satisfied with anything or anyone?

Those are all intriguing options, but an alternate theory has recently arisen that's quickly gaining steam: Maybe being single isn't as lonely as we think. Maybe being single is actually freaking awesome.

A guy on TikTok who goes by Get To the Point Bro shared a hilarious monologue on why women who have been single for a long time "don't want to date anymore." Women say he absolutely nailed it.

 the office, andy bernard, dating, relationships, dating advice, single, romance, love The Frenchman's monologue was absolutely spot on  Giphy  

At first, it might seem like he's poking fun, either at single women or at the men who can't seem to win them over. But not so! What he's done is perfectly captured the joy many people find in being single and, frankly, able to do whatever the hell they want.

"Some women have been single for so long they don't date anymore, they grant you access to their peaceful little empire like a reluctant queen handing you a visitor's badge," he says. "You text her good morning and she's already annoyed, like 'Why are you disturbing the sacred silence of my personal growth journey?'"

He goes on, "Bro she's been sleeping diagonally in her bed for three years, she's not giving up that territory because you opened the door and paid for coffee."

"You plan a cute date, she's thinking 'That sounds nice but also I could stay home, deep clean my apartment, do a 12 steps skincare routine, order sushi and not have to listen to a man breathe.'"

"You try to check in emotionally, 'How are you feeling?' She's feeling fantastic because you're not here."

"You're not competing with other guys. There are no other guys. You're competing with her weighted blanket, her peace, her cat named Chairman Meow, and the simple joy of not having to share her fries."

These are just a few of the best lines from the nearly 2-minute rant, all delivered in the most amazing French accent you can imagine. Please, enjoy:


@gettothepointbro

DATING A GIRL WHO IS USED TO BE ALONE CAN BE VERY HARD .

The best thing about the video is the discussion in the comments. Women want to know how this man got access to this top-secret information. The rant is so eerily, frighteningly accurate that women are convinced this French guy is living in their heads. That, or someone's secretly leaking intel.

"dammit. somebody call a meeting of the council. he knows too much."

"I dont often offer this compliment to the male species but you explained it better than I ever could."

"Alright, who’s told him this info??? So exposed right now"

"The joy of sleeping diagonally across my bed cannot be fully explained."

"This is the most accurate profiling I’ve ever heard. You absolutely ailed it."

Clearly, we've tapped into a real phenomenon here.

@gettothepointbro

CAN YOU RELATE LADIES ? THAT’S WHY WE LOVE YOU ❤️

The truth is that many people—both men and women—are disillusioned with the sad state of the dating scene these days. App burnout is a real thing, and meeting new people in real life is a ton of work. So, it's no surprise that more and more people are just choosing to stay single and enjoy all the perks that come along with it. This is a stark change, especially for women.

According to FiveThirtyEight, "Women were also more likely than men to say that they weren’t dating because they have other priorities right now." Priorities like travel, career, friendship, and even just self-care—all things that wind up taking a backseat when people get involved in relationships. It wasn't too long ago that women of a certain age that were still single were called "spinsters," but that word has lost a significant amount of power. This new generation of women aren't embarrassed or ashamed to be single; they're loving it for exactly all the reasons this video describes.

This article originally appeared in April.

Pets

London man finds a mysterious egg, incubates it, and launches a Pixar-worthy journey of love

When Riyadh found an abandoned egg, he had no idea that it would change his life.

Courtesy of Riyadh Khalaf/Instagram (used with permission)

When Riyadh found an egg, he had no idea how much it would change his life.

The story of Riyadh and Spike starts like the opening to a children's book: "One day, a man was walking along and spotted a lone egg where an egg should not have been…" And between that beginning and the story's mostly sweet ending is a beautiful journey of curiosity, care, and connection that has captivated people all over the world.

Irish author Riyadh Khalaf was out walking in Devon, England, when he came upon an egg. "We just found what we think is a duck egg," Riyadh says in a video showing the milky white egg sitting in a pile of dirt. "Just sitting here on its own. No nest. No other eggs."

Thinking there was no way it was going to survive on its own, Riyadh put the egg in a paper cup cushioned with a napkin and took it home to London, which entailed two car rides, a hotel stay, a train ride, a tube ride, and a bus ride. He said he used to breed chickens and pigeons, so he had some experience with birds. Knowing the egg could survive for a while in a dormant state, he ordered an incubator on Amazon, and the journey to see if the egg was viable began.


Even though it was "just an egg," Riyadh quickly became attached, and once it showed signs of life he took on the role of "duck dad." Every day, the egg showed a drastic change in development, and Riyadh's giddy joy at each new discovery—movement, a discernible eye, a beak outline—was palpable. He devoured information on ducks to learn as much as he could about the baby he was (hopefully) about to hatch and care for.

Finally, 28 days later, the shell of the egg began to crack. "I could see this very clear outline of the most gorgeous little round bill," Riyadh said—confirmation that it was, indeed, a duck as he had suspected. But duckling hatching is a process, and one they have to do it on their own. Ducklings instinctively know to turn the egg as it hatches so that the umbilical cord detaches, and the whole process can take up to 48 hours. Riyadh watched and monitored until he finally fell asleep, but at 4:51am, 29 hours after the egg had started to hatch, he awakened to the sound of tweets.

"There was just this little wet alien staring back at me," he said. "It was love at first sight."

Riyadh named his rescue duckling Spike. Once Spike was ready to leave the incubator, he moved into "Duckingham Palace," a setup with all of the things he would need to grow into a healthy, self-sufficient duck—including things that contribute to his mental health. (Apparently ducklings can die from poor mental health, which can happen when they don't have other ducks to interact with—who knew?)

"My son shall not only survive, but he shall thrive!" declared the proud papa.

Riyadh knew it would be impossible for Spike to not imprint on him somewhat, but he didn't want him to see him as his mother. Riyadh set up mirrors so that Spike could see another duckling (even though it was just himself) and used a surrogate stuffed duck to teach him how to do things like eat food with his beak. He used a duck whistle and hid his face from Spike while feeding him, and he played duck sounds on his computer to accustom Spike to the sounds of his species.

"It's just such a fulfilling process to watch a small being learn," said Riyadh.

As Spike grew, Riyadh took him to the park to get him accustomed to the outdoors and gave him opportunities to swim in a small bath. He learned to forage and do all the things a duck needs to do. Throughout, Riyadh made sure that Spike was getting the proper balanced nutrition he needed as well. Check this out:


After 89 days, the day finally came for Spike to leave Riyadh's care and be integrated into a community of his kind "to learn how to properly be a duck." A rehabilitation center welcomed him in and he joined a flock in an open-air facility where he would be able to choose whether to stay or to leave once he became accustomed to flying. Within a few weeks of being at the rehabilitation center, his signature mallard colors developed, marking his transition from adolescence. Spike has been thriving with his flock, and Riyadh was even able to share video of his first flight.

This is the where "And they all lived happily ever after" would be a fitting end to the story, but unfortunately, Spike and his fowl friends are living in trying times. The rehabilitation center was notified by the U.K. government in December of 2024 that the duck flock needed to be kept indoors for the time being to protect them from a bird flu outbreak and keep it from spreading.

Building an entire building for a flock of ducks is not a simple or cheap task, so Riyadh called on his community of "daunties" and "duncles" who had been following Spike's story to help with a fundraiser to build a "Duckingham Palace" for the whole flock. Riyadh's followers quickly raised over £11,000, which made a huge difference for the center's owners to be able to protect Spike and his friends.

All in all, Riyadh and Spike's story is a testament to what can happen when people genuinely care. If Riyadh had left that egg where it was, it may not have made it. If Spike hadn't survived and been moved to the rehab center, the ducks there would be in greater danger of the bird flu due to the costs of building an indoor shelter for them. Despite the ongoing bird flu threat, the story really does have a happy ending.

Thank to Riyadh for sharing Spike's journey with us. (You can follow Riyadh on Instagram here.)

This article originally appeared in January.

Love Stories

Therapist explains his controversial theory: That it's normal to 'hate' your spouse

He also explains one thing everyone gets wrong when their partner is angry at them.

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Is it normal to hate your spouse, even in brief moments?

Marriage is hard. On your wedding day, you "know" it will be hard, and people tell you it will be hard, but you don't really fully understand. Not until you're years deep and navigating a joint life with another human being who has their own wants, desires, emotions, thoughts, and opinions.

Some people believe it's so hard because human beings aren't biologically wired for monogamy. Others believe we just don't do a good enough job of preparing ourselves for the more difficult aspects of lifelong partnership, leading to the notoriously high divorce rate.

A renowned couple's therapist named Terrence Real has been grabbing headlines with his somewhat controversial idea that could help save many relationships. He calls it "normal marital hatred."


marriage, couples, couples therapy, marriage advice, marriage tips, couples counseling, psychologist, therapist, divorceOnce the wedding day has come and gone, things get real. Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

Real was recently on the Tim Ferris Podcast, where he elaborated on what he believes is a critically under-discussed aspect of relationships:.

“The essential rhythm of all relationships is harmony, disharmony, and repair," he says. "Closeness, disruption, and a return to closeness. That's where the skills come in, how to move from disruption to repair. Our culture doesn't teach it."

Real says every couple will have moments, days, or even longer stretches of dissatisfaction, and that those feelings can be much more powerful than you might think.

“So, here's what I wanna say about disharmony: It hurts, it's dark. You can really, really feel like, 'What the hell did I get myself into? This is such a disappointment.’ And guess what? Your partner's probably feeling that about you too.”

His concept of normal marital hatred is fascinating. It takes a shocking idea, that you could "hate" your partner, and puts it right there next to the word "normal." Internalizing the idea might seem pretty bleak to young people getting ready to settle down, but Real doesn't want people to panic or bail rather than sticking it out. Again, he says it's completely normal.

“I talk about normal marital hatred when you're in that dark phase. You hate your partner, that's okay. It's part of the deal for many of it. I've been going around the world talking about normal marital hatred for, oh my god, what? 30 years. ... It's okay, kids — don't sweat it. You can get through it. It's normal. Relax.”

Watch the whole clip here:


@timferriss

Therapist Terry Real on Normal Marital Hatred. (From my brand-new interview with Terry.) #couples #therapy

Commenters were, for the most part, in strong agreement with Real's blunt assessment.

"Hatred disappears when a person able to hold 2 truths simultaneously: I love you, I don’t like you now. Dialectical thinking"

"When people stop romanticizing relationships and realize you're relating to another autonomous human being, it's easier to understand, relate, love and also forgive."

"This is such an important topic that it's not talked about enough. Marriage is not some fairytale can't run away when you hate your partner because in a week you'll probably love them again."

"Hatred is a pretty strong word but I appreciate the concept behind the theory. My theory is space and grace. Grant each other a little space to cool down but the grace to come back and repair."

Others wondered if the term 'hatred' was really accurate, or maybe just a gimmick to make the concept more controversial and marketable:

"To me, hatred is too strong a word. I don’t hate my spouse. I often times do not like him, but I always love him. 33 years of a solid, loving marriage."

"Hatred is a brutal way to put it. Wrong word."

"I have NEVER hated my late husband of 16 years or my partner of 4 years! I have been utterly pissed at both hurt by them unclear if I can make it another day through xyz but not hate never hate"

It all begs the question: What are feelings of hatred, really?


marriage, couples, couples therapy, marriage advice, marriage tips, couples counseling, psychologist, therapist, divorceIt's normal to be upset at or even dislike your partner sometimes. Is it really normal to hate them? Photo by Mattia on Unsplash

Not to be that guy, but Merriam-Webster defines hatred as: "Extreme dislike or disgust...ill will or resentment ... prejudiced hostility or animosity"

That sounds like a dangerous combination of feelings to feel toward your partner! Dislike or disgust? Maybe, in brief doses. But many experts say that resentment and animosity are very close cousins of the infamous Four Horsemen, or communication styles that can be predictive of divorce. The Four Horsemen are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. The Gottman Institute found that when these patterns show up regularly, even in just a single conversation, it often spells doom for the couple.

However, Real emphasizes that these negative feelings we might get toward our partner (the so-called hatred) are usually temporary, even appearing for just a brief moment or two.

Regardless of the terminology, Real is right about one thing: Normal, healthy marriages will have conflict and moments where partners don't like each other very much. Navigating them successfully is key.

Luckily, he has advice for that, too.

“In normal circumstances, if you’re unhappy with me, that is not the time for me to talk to you about how unhappy I am with you,” he said. “Everybody gets that wrong.”

In other words, these moments of dislike/hatred/disagreement/or whatever you want it call it should be opportunities for partners to listen to each other and not escalate the conflict into a power struggle. They are opportunities for better communication and for partners to better learn how to meet each other's needs.

Feeling that hatred is not the problem. Feeding it and allowing it to grow is what makes it really dangerous.

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A 9-second video of a woman's divorced parents' last interaction is incredibly powerful.

The statistics around divorce in America sound grim. About half of couples who tie the knot won't make it, and that's generally considered to be a bad thing in the popular discourse; a sign of too much infidelity, poor communication, and other toxic behavior. But what those numbers fail to tell you about is all the couples who split amicably, or who were never the right fit for each other in the first place. In fact, it's possible–and even common—for people to divorce after many years together and still love each other deeply.

That's exactly the sentiment captured in a beautiful nine-second video filmed by Kerrian Connelly Carro.

divorce, marriage, children of divorce, parenting, love, love stories, wedding, viral videos, deathThe statistics around divorce don't always tell the full story. Photo by Zoriana Stakhniv on Unsplash

Carro captioned the short clip posted to TikTok: "My parents were divorced over 25 years ago. Met at 12, had me at 19. This was their last video together before my father passed away."

In an interview with Newsweek, Carro explains that the two were finishing up a quick visit with her mom after her dad attended a session of radiation therapy for cancer. Carro filmed the interaction between the two, not knowing for sure that it would be the last time they'd ever see each other.

So much is communicated between the two in just a few seconds of silent footage. They share a loving hug before Carro's mom kisses him on the cheek. She then cinches up his jacket, as if to give him strength to keep on fighting. He pinches her cheeks lovingly and smiles as he turns to leave. And that's the end.

Carro's father would pass away shortly after the video was taken.

Watch the touching moment here:

@kerriannconnellycarro

#myparents #ifiwouldhaveknown #deaddadsclub #grief #griefjourney

Carro said that her parents' divorce wasn't always easy.

The love between the two is incredibly obvious even from just a short video, but the journey that came before was far from sunshine and roses. In the interview, Carro says her mom was the love of her dad's life, and it took him a long time to recover from the breakup. She says the two argued for years after splitting, both angry and trying to find a new path in life for themselves.

But eventually, they made peace with not being together, and their love for each other took over. Carro says they became friends again, supporting each other. And you can see it all come to fruition in their final interaction. The video struck a nerve in viewers everywhere, racking up over 18 million views. Commenters were incredibly moved:

"Like that quote 'even though you didn’t make it to the end of my story, I’ll always have the corner folded down on your page as it was one of my favourites.'"

"Soul mates don’t always mean married mates."

"The way she straightened his jacket, and the way he pinched her cheeks tells me everything I need to know about their love."

"Divorce doesn't mean hate. This is proof of that."

People who had experience living with divorce were especially touched:

divorce, marriage, children of divorce, parenting, love, love stories, wedding, viral videos, deathOne commenter said that soulmates don't always have to be "married-mates." Photo by micheile henderson on Unsplash

"My parents were better friends than partners."

"Divorced parents here, but they are still BEST FRIENDS. My dad still helps her with house maintenance and visits her once a week to check in. Soul mates aren’t always married mates!"

"My mom's funeral was the only one I ever saw my dad cry at. They were friends much longer than they were married."

About a third of divorces these days are categorized as friendly or at least neutral, rather than hostile. And even in the cases of more contentious separations, many of them just take a little time until the two people remember what they liked and even loved about each other in the first place.

It's rare for people to get married without a strong connection and bond. Disagreements and life circumstances can get in the way and cloud our feelings, and even make reconciliation impossible, but it's amazing to see the proof in Carro's video that that love doesn't always die out.

The video is also a powerful reminder that divorce isn't some great failure. Sometimes it's exactly what both parties need, even if it hurts.