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Woman is horrified to learn that her boyfriend washes the detergent cap in the washing machine.

I really thought I had seen it all when it came to people's weird hygiene habits, and I've definitely had more than my fill of content about men's "weaponized incompetence." There are the guys that don't know how to wash properly in the shower, men with engineering degrees who claim not to know how to operate a washing machine, people that don't clean their legs, etc. Enough!

Then I stumbled on a video that was the perfect bait and switch. It completely turned all of my expectations on their head and left me questioning the very reality we live in. It was that powerful.

It all started when a woman made a bizarre discovery after stumbling upon her boyfriend doing laundry. After putting his clothes in the washer, he filled the detergent cap up with the soap, and then chucked the entire cap into the washing machine. With the clothes. And then started it.


waynes world, laundry, washing machine, clothesWe all have our own unique laundry habits.Giphy

"Help??" the caption read. "I just asked my bf where the cap for the detergent is and he said 'Oh I just fill it up and throw it in?' With ALL the clothes??"

The woman, who goes by @Iluka on TikTok, called it "mental behaviour."

But her boyfriend was not quick to back down, insisting that not only was his technique normal, it was actually recommended. The tail end of the video shows him reading the fine print instructions on the back of the detergent bottle in a desperate effort to prove he's not crazy.

Throwing a plastic cup into the washing machine with all your clothes is definitely a confusing choice. In fact, Iluka found it so jarring and strange that she felt compelled to share it with her audience of followers to get some insight into where her boyfriend could have learned the unique behavior. You can watch the whole hilarious interaction here:


@ilukugh

Mental behaviour in the house tonight

Ready for the big twist? Many commenters insist that the boyfriend is doing it right.

An astounding 31,000 people commented on the video, indicating that it had struck a nerve, for better or worse. People came crawling out of the woodwork to argue that, yes, washing the laundry detergent cap is a thing: The idea is to clean off all the soap scum so it doesn't get sticky or gummed up.

So, no, the boyfriend wasn't being dense after all! This is a twist that would make M. Night Shyamalan proud.

"He’s right but tell him we said that he’s wrong," a commenter said.

"Girl, don’t make me defend a man," joked another.

"i do this?? so the cap isn’t covered in gross [smelly] soap residue??" someone added.

"[So] it doesn’t get sticky" another user clarified.

This is not a new idea, apparently. There are dozens of Reddit threads over the years listing this as a "Life Hack" to prevent detergent drips and general stickiness. There's even evidence that putting the cup in the wash is the proper, manufacturer-approved way to do it! Although some people with top-loading washers will choose to start the washer and use the running water that floods in to give the cup a quick rinse rather than running it through the full cycle.

Obviously I had to go run and check the back of my own bottle of laundry detergent. I didn't see any instructions there about washing the cap, but one woman on Facebook did share indisputable proof on the back of her own bottle of Tide. Apparently, the little plastic caps can even hold up to the dryer!


Still, not everyone is on board. Many of the nearly seven million TikTok viewers had never heard of this bizarre technique and insisted that the "other side" was making it all up:

"Girl I've NEVER heard of anyone doing this either this blew my mind, are the people in these comments gaslighting"

Washing your detergent cap in a full cycle definitely sounds made-up, but it's definitively not. The proof is right there in front of us. Now I'm just wondering how I lived for 38 years without ever knowing about all the people doing this regularly.

via Unsplash

What do these men love?

Writer and illustrator Aubrey Hirsch jokingly asked her followers on Twitter what’s a “universal thing that most men like?” because she was writing a comic and “just realized I don’t actually know any men in real life." The tweet inspired an avalanche of funny responses.

Hirsch is the author of “Why We Never Talk About Sugar,” a collection of short stories, and her work has appeared in The New York Times, Child, American Short Fiction and Time.

The interesting thing about the responses is that they weren’t the typical stereotypes about men. She didn’t get a ton of people talking about sex, sports or toxic masculinity. Instead, there were a lot of folks that mentioned very specific male behaviors as if they were talking about a bizarre species they discovered in the wild.

There were two things that got the most comments on her post. First, men enjoy throwing heavy objects into bodies of water. Preferably, the larger the rock, the deeper the body of water and from the highest vantage point possible.

The other is watching construction sites. Evidently, the phenomenon is so popular in Italy that there is a specific word for this type of person in Italian.

Here are 19 of the best responses to the question, “What’s a universal thing that most men like?”

1.

When asked why men enjoy watching construction sites so much, a poster on Reddit named justdaps had the perfect response. "I just find it really satisfying and interesting to see the process behind things being built," he wrote.

2.

3.

4.

I have seen dudes do this and I have done it plenty of times myself. I usually stand while watching TV when I want to really focus on what’s happening and do not want to be distracted. This usually happens while watching sporting events or the news. It's also a great way to use your body language to let other people know that there is something very important happening on the television.

5.

When we do this 99% of the time we’re pretending that the sign is 10 feet high and that we have the ability to dunk a basketball. There are two types of men, those that can dunk and mere mortals.

6.

As a man, this one is near and dear to my heart. I can’t tell you the number of hours I have spent with my friends just throwing lines from “The Big Lebowski” back and forth.

“Nice marmot.”

“The Dude abides.”

“Say what you want about the tenets of national socialism, Dude. At least it’s an ethos.”

A movie that's running up the ranks of being among the most quotable is another dude buddy pic, "Once Upon a Time ... In Hollywood."

"All right, that's too hot. Anything we can do about that heat?" ... "Rick, it's a flamethrower.”

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

Evidently, after reading the responses, Hirsch knew what was going to happen next. No need to feel ashamed about going viral. It just means you created something that people love.


This story originally appeared two years ago.

Unsplash

There's a way around this friendship pitfall.

As I get closer (how much closer, I'd rather not say) to my 40s, I've noticed a habit forming in my friendships. With kids, work, and family obligations, I don't have as much time as I'd like to get together with friends. So when I do, there's usually a lot to catch up on. We'll often go to drinks after I put my kids to bed and catch-up on everything we've missed in each other's lives the past few months. We'll share the ups and downs, the big updates, and do lots of venting about the things that haven't gone our way. And then, when the night's over, we wait six months and do it all over again.

It's always great to see friends, don't get me wrong. But there's a big part of me that yearns for more of the moments that made us friends to begin with, whether they're friends I sat through classes with in school or goofed around with at an old job. And now I know I'm not the only one who feel this way.

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The gals at the Life Uncut Podcast just described this phenomenon perfectly: They call it the "Catch Up Trap"

The Catch Up Trap is not a new phenomenon, but never before has it been so perfectly encapsulated. On a recent episode of the podcast, comedian Tanya Hennessy chatted with hosts Laura Byrne and Brittany Hockley about this 'trap' that they've all experienced in their adult lives.

"I was just seeing friends, and the conversation was literally just a recap. I felt like i was just recapping my life back to somebody as opposed to living it with them," Hennessy said. She noted that, too often, these recaps turn into vent sessions where friends take turns railing on and on about their problems. Too much stress and not enough laughter. "I'm bored," she says. "I'm sick of talking about myself."

The hosts agreed from their own experiences that at the end of these "catch up" hangouts, they always end up feeling somewhat dissatisfied. It's great when a friendship has such a strong foundation that it can sustain itself on these fumes for years and years, but not investing in growing the friendship with new memories and experiences ends up feeling a little hollow and exhausting after a while.

Watch the discussion here in a clip from the podcast's Instagram:

Viewers connected so deeply to the gang's frustration with modern adult friendships.

Nearly 500,000 people viewed the Reel on Instagram and commented by the dozens to shout about how the conversation made them feel so seen and understood:

"Love this chat, ‘catch up’ friendships feel more exhausting than meaningful. I want to do life with my friends!!!"

"I'm in my early thirties and I've been struggling to describe what I've been feeling for the longest time, but you've done it incredibly well. It's such a shift in friendships, and so much more noticeable when they were those friends you used to hang out with several times a week, and experience most of your life with. Now they are all in relationships, which has nothing to do with it, but I've felt we've entered this phase of friendship much more since then."

"I could not agree more!!!!!! I’m so tired of talking about my problems and sharing the hard times etc, I wanna do fun things, and make memories more"

So, if you've fallen into the catch up trap in your own relationships, how can you pull yourself out of it? What should you do instead?

In short, go do something together! Have some fun, make a new memory. Don't just sit and vent over a glass of wine, unless that's the vibe you're really craving at that moment. Just don't make it the default. There's a world of possibility at your fingertips, like bowling, seeing a new movie together, or perusing an art gallery.

"Go to the zoo or something, let's go do pottery, let's go feel something together, let's have a shared experience," Hennessy said on the show. "Do we need to do something as a shared memory to actually evolve our friendship?"

Viewers agreed that while the idea sounds simple and obvious, it makes a world of difference in the depth of your relationships.

"[My friend and I] have made a conscious effort to do things and create memories together, last night we went to a pottery class and I never have laughed so hard. It was so nice to do something different and talk about something other than life," one commenter noted.

However, it's important to remember that catching up is important too. Your friends want to know what's going on in your life, with your career, with your family. You can find other creative ways to catch up more frequently (text, call, leave voice notes) and save your precious in-person hang time for stuff that's more interesting and invigorating. Some experts have even advocated for friends to come along while you do more mundane things, too. Bring a friend grocery shopping or running errands and you can catch-up and live life together at the same time.

If it sounds like a lot more work, it just might be. But having close friendships gives us more fulfillment and purpose in our lives, and it also leads to better long-term health outcomes. It'll be worth the extra effort when those old friendships are still running strong decades later instead of petering out over time.

Parenting

Husband says men should spend 9 months achieving peak physical condition before trying for a baby

Sperm health plays a huge role in pregnancy, and no one's talking about it.

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When a woman becomes pregnant, her whole life gets turned upside down. She can't drink alcohol or use THC or, in some cases, even have caffeinated coffee anymore. Her body changes size and shape rapidly. She'll feel exhausted and nauseous much of the time. And she has to eat enough food to feed an extra person, take vitamins every day, and be poked and prodded by her OB around 20-some odd times over the span of her pregnancy. It's a lot to go through, all to make sure the baby is as healthy as possible.

Dads, by comparison, get off pretty easy. After the whole conception part, their main job is just to support mom and make sure she has everything she needs. It can be a lot of late night Taco Bell runs, but otherwise, it's a pretty chill job until the baby arrives.

One husband recently went viral when he advocated for a more hands-on, and some say extreme, approach from dads well before they even start trying for a baby with their partner.

"Men should have to spend nine months getting in the best physical shape of their lives before having a baby," Hunter Leppard tells his wife Maya in a TikTok video.

He goes on to note that several elements of pregnancy, and potential complications, are tied to the father's sperm health.The science backs him up on most of this. Pre-eclampsia, for example, may be tied to faulty sperm. The father's sperm also play a role in the development of a healthy placenta that can deliver oxygen and nutrients to the developing baby. Who knew!

"So if you're going to spend nine months following all of these rules while building a baby inside of you, then I can spend the nine months prior to that not drinking alcohol, limiting caffeine. I'll get blood work, I'll have three healthy meals a day. I will be in the best physical shape of my life prior to you getting pregnant, for the betterment of you and your pregnancy and our baby. It's common sense."

Watch Hunter's full passionate plea here:


@maya.and.hunter

it’s common sense he fears

I have two kids and I don't think anyone has ever talked to me once about sperm health and how it affects pregnancy.

Why are we not having a bigger conversation about this? Why is the onus of maintaining a "healthy" pregnancy completely laid at women's feet? They have enough to deal with!

Commenters on the now viral video had the same thought:

"Why aren’t we TAUGHT THIS! It’s so obvious I should know but never heard it said until Tik Tok of all things!" one user wrote.

"Why is nobody talking about this?" asked another.

Some women chimed in to say that their own partners did this already, and they were grateful for it:

"My husband quit smoking, limited caffeine, and drank more water then also abstained during the entirety of my pregnancy, it's empathy, and compassion."

"Yes! 👏 Some men actually do the work. My husband lost 30lbs, and prioritized eating healthy and specific fruits to ensure I’d have a healthy pregnancy after we had a miscarriage before our daughter."

"My husband stopped smoking, drinking, and started eating really healthy before we started trying. My pregnancy has been pretty dang smooth!"

"My husband actually cut out caffeine, beer, and ate healthier in order for us to get pregnant this last time.. I’m now 4 months pregnant with the boy we’ve been wanting and my pregnancy is much easier than the first two!"

It's truly amazing that sperm health can impact "embryo development and implantation, the risk of miscarriage, the likelihood of pregnancy complications, birth weight and overall fetal health, and the inheritance of certain genetic mutations," according to a Yahoo Life article. And all it took for us to learn about it was a viral TikTok.


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Knowing, as GI Joe says, is half the battle. The other half is actually getting guys to follow through on this knowledge. Sadly, it's not a given that they will. Men are notoriously cranky about wearing condoms and, as a group, prefer women to be the ones responsible for birth control. There might be a male birth control pill one day, and surveys show guys would be up for it, but... we'll see. Likewise, pregnancy has always been viewed as something that women do and go through, so adjusting that programming could take a little work.

Hopefully we can get to the point where men taking a proactive approach to pre-pregnancy is a standard practice. And no, you don't need to spend nine whole months becoming an ultra-marathoner with chiseled abs. But regular exercise, reducing caffeine and alcohol, and eating a diet with plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, will go a long way toward healthier sperm and a healthier pregnancy. That's not so bad, am I right guys?