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Dudes get real about why it feels 'embarrassing' to give flowers, and it's eye-opening

More conversations like this, please.

Photo credit: Canva

Maybe it's not just men being lazy.

“I hate giving flowers because of how it makes me feel.”

This was a confession recently given by a man (Safe Elghorab) which turned into a very vulnerable, yet very insightful—not to mention very healthy—conversation about the connection between affection and masculinity.

“How does it make you feel? Let's talk about it!” responded his friend Yaqoub Adiver, a content creator who also posted the video.

“Just always ask why,” chimed in the third friend, Chui, from offscreen.

@yaqoubadiver A moment of introspection with @Safe Elghorab @Chui⭐️ @Chui2.0 #flowerarrangement #deepconversations #withtheboys #yaqoubadiver #somalitiktok ♬ original sound - Yaqoubadiver

Elghorab then dived in, sharing how it feels “embarrassing” and totally unfamiliar since growing up, he never received flowers as a token of appreciation. Typically speaking, that’s a gift only bestowed upon girls.

“We didn't grow up with that type of love and affection,” Adiver affirmed, adding that now, in adulthood, it feels “out of character” to then go and show love in a way they were never taught exists.

“This ain't love for me,” he said.

Practical, basic necessities, on the other hand, like food, shelter, and clothes, feel “normal” and familiar. Chui, Adiver, and Elghorab discussed how food in particular, especially in POC communities, was a vital love language.

“That's the way of showing love or appreciation to someone coming into your home. Or even, within our cultures, if you're going to someone else's home, you usually bring something to share. That's the way of showing love for us in our culture,” said Chui.

That said, Elghorab didn’t hesitate to hold out a bouquet to Chui and tell his friend, “I got this type of love for you though.”

men, mens health, flowers, psychology, conversations, vulnerability, confessions, relationships A man hold flowersPhoto credit: Canva

It didn’t take long for this video to go viral on TikTok, with tons of people commending Chui, Adiver, and Elghorab for being able to have such an open and honest conversation.

“This is the kind of conversation men need to keep having with each other.”

“This is healthy masculinity 👏🏻”

“THE BOYS ARE HEALING 🥹🥹🥹”

“This is community. THIS IS BOYS BEING BOYS. These are the type of relationships I had growing up and they helped shape me into a man and I’ll never forget those relationships ❤️

Another viewer said, “Let’s talk about the fact that there’s a group of young men preparing flowers and talking about it. Not just grabbing a random bouquet from a grocery store and giving it no thought. Appreciate you!!” making a nod to an age-old complaint among women.

@bannersbysofia #bf #fyp #flowers ♬ original sound - Bannersbysofia

However, keeping the previous conversation in mind, maybe it’s not that “no thought is given,” and rather, it’s just unfamiliar territory.

It’s clearly inspiring and refreshing to a lot of people that more and more men are getting vulnerable in this way. Not only because it gets them in touch with their feelings (a practice not commonly encouraged even a generation ago) but also offers the women in their life a new level of insight. Both factors encourage more understanding and compassion, which something the world desperately needs right now.

At a time when so many people raising young men are concerned about "redpilling," toxic masculinity, and reverting back to truly troubling patriarchal views in search of belonging, it’s comforting to know that not all hope is lost.

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A guy revealed the 12 simple things that make men happy and it's 100% accurate

If it's not a dog, a buddy, a beer, and a cool stick, we don't want it.

Nolan Reid / TikTok
A guy definitively listed the 12 things that make men happy and it's 100% accurate

Minimalism is on the rise, not just in design and architecture, but in the way people live their lives. Having fewer things, sporting simpler styles, and enjoying the fundamental good things in life is cool now. Regular people who aren't influencers post fewer updates to social media. The world is just so loud and chaotic, more people are getting satisfaction out of just... chilling out and existing.

There's an old joke/meme that goes something like this: "Guys literally only want one thing and it's disgusting." Its used to imply, obviously, that men are shallow and crude creatures. TikTok creator and simple-life advocate Nolan Reid, however, has a different idea of what men really want.

Nolan recently made a video about "Little things in life that make men happy."

The hilarious list includes:

  • A fridge full of beer.
  • Drinking said beer in the garage. With your dog. And a good buddy.
  • Finding a cool stick.
  • Kicking a rock.
  • Staring at water.
  • Dropping rocks into said water.

As a fellow man, I would say: Yeah. That pretty much covers it.

It really doesn't take much! Watch Nolan's full video to see the rest, and just appreciate how much joy and satisfaction he gets from these simple things.


@nolanreid7

It’s that simple #beer #mustache #muzzymade



People loved Nolan's list—so much so that they began adding their own ideas of "simple things men love." The video racked up hundreds of thousands of views across TikTok and Instagram.

One commenter wrote, "He just described my whole personality." Another added, "This guy gets it."

Others chimed in with their own additions to the list, like staring at a fire for hours or just peace and quiet.

But most of the nearly 200 comments were just people chiming in to say one thing:

"Hell yeah."

Finally, someone who understands us! The video was such a hit that Reid put out two sequels where he added things like skipping rocks, throwing a thumbs up in a photo, or making something from scratch. "A dog" seems to make an appearance in every single video, and for good reason: Dogs make guys happy!

Nolan's ultra-relaxed vision of "masculinity" is honestly so refreshing.

@nolanreid7

And many more #littlethings #muzzymade

Men on social media are usually bombarded with the Andrew Tates and Jordan Petersons of the world—influencers who constantly berate us to make more money, lose weight and add muscle, sleep with more women, take charge, and relentlessly self-improve.

I like Nolan's much chiller idea of masculinity. It reminds me of being a kid: taking pleasure in the simple things, not racing to be anywhere, not trying to impress anyone or prove anything. And I love that all the things listed are timeless. They were enjoyed by men, and all people, in the 50s, in the 90s, and they'll be enjoyed by people 50 years from now, too.

Nolan's entire account is a breath of fresh air, an antidote to hustle culture. His videos find joy in:

  • Breaking down cardboard boxes
  • Driving at sunset
  • Going fishing
  • Throwing a frisbee
  • Wearing t-shirts

A daily visit to his page is almost like a meditation. I highly recommend giving him a follow to add a little counterprogramming to your social media feed.

Nolan says in another recent video that he started making TikToks and Instagram reels just for fun, but discovered along the way that he was really passionate about the message.

@nolanreid7

And many more #littlethings #men #happy #muzzymade

"I never thought that my simple living and love for little things would resonate with so many of you."

He said he hopes to inspire people to "take a step back and enjoy the good simple things in life." And now, I suddenly have the urge to go chuck a rock into a river, so I would say: Mission Accomplished!

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Writer Aubrey Hirsch asked what's a 'universal thing men like' and got hilarious answers

Apparently throwing rocks off a cliff ranked high on the list.

Photo credit: Canva

She concluded that "I don’t actually know any men in real life."

Writer and illustrator Aubrey Hirsch jokingly asked her followers on Twitter what’s a “universal thing that most men like?” because she was writing a comic and “just realized I don’t actually know any men in real life." The tweet inspired an avalanche of funny responses.

Hirsch is the author of “Why We Never Talk About Sugar,” a collection of short stories, and her work has appeared in The New York Times, Child, American Short Fiction and Time.

The interesting thing about the responses is that they weren’t the typical stereotypes about men. She didn’t get a ton of people talking about sex, sports or toxic masculinity. Instead, there were a lot of folks that mentioned very specific male behaviors as if they were talking about a bizarre species they discovered in the wild.

There were, undeniably, two things that got the most comments on her post. First, men enjoy watching construction sites. Evidently, the phenomenon is so popular in Italy that there is a specific word for this type of person in Italian.

When asked why men enjoy watching construction sites so much, a poster on Reddit had the perfect response. "I just find it really satisfying and interesting to see the process behind things being built," he wrote.

The other beloved male activity is throwing heavy objects into bodies of water. Preferably, as large a rock as possible, and as deep a body of water as possible, and getting to throw from the highest vantage point possible.



Gotta, say, as a man—I have seen dudes do this and I have done it plenty of times myself.

Here are a few more fun ones:


(When we do this 99% of the time we’re pretending that the sign is 10 feet high and that we have the ability to dunk a basketball. There are two types of men, those that can dunk and mere mortals.)

This one is near and dear to my heart. I can’t tell you the number of hours I have spent with my friends just throwing lines from “The Big Lebowski” back and forth.

“Nice marmot.”

“The Dude abides.”

“Say what you want about the tenets of national socialism, Dude. At least it’s an ethos.”

A movie that's running up the ranks of being among the most quotable is another dude buddy pic, "Once Upon a Time ... In Hollywood."

"All right, that's too hot. Anything we can do about that heat?" ... "Rick, it's a flamethrower.”

Lastly, we'll never pass up the opportunity to say hello to a complete stranger wearing our exact same hat, or re-live some sports-related glory days.


Okay, everyone is an individual human. but there is certainly a lot to laugh at, and connect to, with this list.

This story originally appeared two years ago.

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A study found this flirting strategy to be the most effective, regardless of your looks or age

The ultimate pick-up line might be a one-liner.

via Pexels

A couple enjoying a glass of wine.

In the 1988 Disney classic “Who Framed Roger Rabbit,” the titular character is in an unlikely relationship with his voluptuous wife Jessica. Roger is a frantic, anxious rabbit with a penchant for mischief, while Jessica is a quintessential ’40s bombshell who stands about a foot and a half taller and isn’t “bad,” just “drawn that way.”

When private investigator Eddie Valiant asked Jessica what she sees in “that guy?” she replies, “He makes me laugh.” This type of couple may seem like something we only see in the movies, but don’t underestimate the power of humor when it comes to attractiveness. A 2022 study published in Evolutionary Psychology found that being humorous is the most effective way to flirt for both men and women.

“People think that humour, or being able to make another person laugh, is most effective for men who are looking for a long-term relationship. It’s least effective for women who are looking for a one-night stand. But laughing or giggling at the other person's jokes is an effective flirtation tactic for both sexes,” says Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair, a professor at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology's (NTNU) Department of Psychology.

dating, flirting, how to flirt, flirting advice, romance, men, women A woman smiles at a manImage via Canva

“It is not only effective to be funny, but for women, it is very important that you show your potential partner that you think they are funny,” Rebecca Burch, a co-author from SUNY Oswego in New York, added.

For men, showing off their sense of humor was found to be the most effective way to flirt whether they were looking for a short-term or a long-term relationship. For women, being funny was the most effective tactic when looking for a long-term relationship. For people looking for a short-term fling, appearing available was the most effective tactic.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

According to the study, humor is effective regardless of one's attractiveness. “Individual differences in age, religiosity, extroversion, personal attractiveness and preferences for short-term sexual relationships had little or no effect on how effective respondents considered the various flirting tactics to be,” says study co-author Prof. Mons Bendixen.

If you see someone you like but don’t think you’re good-looking enough for them, give it a shot. You may still have a chance if you can make ’em laugh.

The most effective tactics for those looking for a long-term relationship:

For women:

1. Makes him laugh

2. Shows interest in conversations

3. Spends time with him

4. Engages in deep conversations

5. Kisses on mouth


flirting, flirting advice, how to flirt, dating, romance, men, women A man texts a woman sitting near himImage via Canva

For men:

1. Makes her laugh

2. Spends time with her

3. Shows interest in conversations

4. Engages in deep conversations

5. Smiles

The study is proof that looks aren’t everything and shows that having a good sense of humor isn’t just about making someone laugh. A great sense of humor is evidence that someone is intelligent, wise, perceptive, confident, can see things from new perspectives and has good intuition. It also helps people quickly build bonds and share experiences, which is a great way to get close to someone in a fast and fun way.

So why wouldn’t Jessica be with Roger? The guy is hilarious.

This story originally appeared three years ago.

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