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Pop Culture

A female writer jokingly asked what's a 'universal thing men like' and the responses were hilarious

Here are 19 of the best responses.

via Unsplash

What do these men love?

Writer and illustrator Aubrey Hirsch jokingly asked her followers on Twitter what’s a “universal thing that most men like?” because she was writing a comic and “just realized I don’t actually know any men in real life." The tweet inspired an avalanche of funny responses.

Hirsch is the author of “Why We Never Talk About Sugar,” a collection of short stories, and her work has appeared in The New York Times, Child, American Short Fiction and Time.

The interesting thing about the responses is that they weren’t the typical stereotypes about men. She didn’t get a ton of people talking about sex, sports or toxic masculinity. Instead, there were a lot of folks that mentioned very specific male behaviors as if they were talking about a bizarre species they discovered in the wild.

There were two things that got the most comments on her post. First, men enjoy throwing heavy objects into bodies of water. Preferably, the larger the rock, the deeper the body of water and from the highest vantage point possible.

The other is watching construction sites. Evidently, the phenomenon is so popular in Italy that there is a specific word for this type of person in Italian.

Here are 19 of the best responses to the question, “What’s a universal thing that most men like?”

1.

When asked why men enjoy watching construction sites so much, a poster on Reddit named justdaps had the perfect response. "I just find it really satisfying and interesting to see the process behind things being built," he wrote.

2.

3.

4.

I have seen dudes do this and I have done it plenty of times myself. I usually stand while watching TV when I want to really focus on what’s happening and do not want to be distracted. This usually happens while watching sporting events or the news. It's also a great way to use your body language to let other people know that there is something very important happening on the television.

5.

6.

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9.

When we do this 99% of the time we’re pretending that the sign is 10 feet high and that we have the ability to dunk a basketball. There are two types of men, those that can dunk and mere mortals.

10.

As a man, this one is near and dear to my heart. I can’t tell you the number of hours I have spent with my friends just throwing lines from “The Big Lebowski” back and forth.

“Nice marmot.”

“The Dude abides.”

“Say what you want about the tenets of national socialism, Dude. At least it’s an ethos.”

A movie that's running up the ranks of being among the most quotable is another dude buddy pic, "Once Upon a Time ... In Hollywood."

"All right, that's too hot. Anything we can do about that heat?" ... "Rick, it's a flamethrower.”

11.

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Unfortunately, this is true and men do far too much of it.

19.

Evidently, after reading the responses, Hirsch knew what was going to happen next. No need to feel ashamed about going viral. It just means you created something that people love.


This story was originally published on 3.42.22.

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Family

60 models. 12 sizes. One photo project to change how we view the human body.

What's size got to do with it?


Categories are great for some things: biology, herbs, and spices, for example.

Image via

But bodies? Well, putting bodies into categories just gets weird. There are around 300 million people in America, but only 12 or so standard sizes for clothing: extra-extra-small through 5x.


That's why designer Mallorie Dunn is onto something with her belief — people have different bodies and sizing isn't catching up.

Dunn has found that the majority of clothing sizes stop at an extra-large, yet the majority of women in America are over that. "And that just doesn't make sense," she says.

All images via Smart Glamor, used with permission.

Human spice rack, only, a LOT more variations of flava. ;)


That's why she started a project around her clothing label, Smart Glamour, to document the bodies of models according to their sizes — and to show how one size can look very different on different bodies.

In pursuit of creating a fashion environment that's kinder to all bodies, Dunn has dedicated herself to educating consumers about sizing.

First, she found 60 people of 12 different sizes and took their pictures.

Then, she put five women at a time in the same size of skirt and shirt to show how diversely beautiful human bodies are and to prove that everyone looks different in clothes no matter what size they have on.

She hoped to show people that 12 sizes don't even come close to capturing the beauty of the human form.

All these models are wearing the same size ... but do they look the same?

"No matter what size you are that's not what dictates your worth or your beauty."

"I had a convo with a friend of mine who was like 'Yeah, if I went from a medium to a large, I'd be fine with it, but if I went from a large to an extra-large, that wouldn't be OK' and I was like, 'Why???' And she had no rational reason behind that," Dunn said, describing a conversation we've all either had, started, or heard. "We've been taught forever that the bigger something sounds, the worse that it is."

Dunn's project also shows just how arbitrary and narrow-minded clothing sizes are.

Sizes really are just numbers.

Unlike the images we are presented both in clothing ads and in entertainment and media, human beings aren't, as Dunn remarked, "robots who come out on a conveyor belt ... we're all shaped differently."

The pressure to look one way is obnoxious. And kinda dangerous.

"We've been taught forever that the bigger something sounds, the worse that it is."

There's so much weight — no pun intended — on being the "right" size.

"You put an 'extra' on top of a 'large,' and suddenly it's the end of the world," Dunn said of her experience in fashion sizing. "... And it really doesn't mean anything, it really only means that there's an extra inch of fabric."

One extra inch of fabric.

3 in 4 girls report feeling depressed, guilty, or shameful after just three minutes of leafing through a fashion mag.

But I'd like to imagine a world where everyone can try on clothes and leave the emotional burden of worrying about fit to the clothes.

Instead, let's focus on what looks good on our bodies. Let the clothes handle the emotional roller coaster of not fitting, and you just live your life in the body you've been given.

Dunn, who has worked for fashion houses for her whole career, puts it bluntly: "Clothes are not made for all bodies. ... We shouldn't then think when something doesn't fit us that it's somehow our fault."

Dunn's models also have a group on Facebook where they support each other, compliment each other, and generally lift each other up. Model Stephanie describes it this way: "We see the beauty in one another and help each other to recognize our own beauty at the same time." Fashion leading to body optimism and confidence? Yes, please.

And Dunn herself drives a hard line when it comes to feeling good in the skin you've been given. Her philosophy is this: No matter what size you are, that's not what dictates your worth or your beauty.

Self-worth not based on appearances. That's a category we can all aspire to "fit" into!


This article originally appeared on 07.27.16

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Historians take to Reddit to gloriously dispel the 'boys don't cry myth'

"Masculinity and tears have not always been at odds."

Canva

Time to stop believing this myth once and for all

Who decided "big boys don't cry"?

It's not rare to see powerful and high profile men overcome with emotion at times, but when they do, it's usually met with some form of criticism or seen as a display of weakness. Simply put, in today's world boys and men are simply not expected to display vulnerable emotions like sadness and grief. (But anger is usually A-OK!)

When we think of the founding pillars of "manliness," we think of strength, bravery, and stoicism, and we often assume that it's just always been that way. After all, ancient Greek warriors didn't cry! Medieval knights didn't cry! Men just don't cry! It's, like, biology or something! Right? Right?

Well, actually...

A couple of historians recently took to Reddit to debunk this myth once and for all.

A user named Sassenacho prompted the thread on the r/AskHistorians subreddit with a simple question: "Today, there are voices that call for (much needed) acceptance of men's emotionality, but it is still kind of taboo. I was wondering when and why this changed in western society."

Photo by Luca DG Photography on Unsplash

The explanations that ensued were fascinating.

Cassidy Percoco, a curator and historian at the St. Lawrence County Historical Association and author of "Regency Women's Dress" kicked things off, explaining that "masculinity and tears have not always been at odds."

Those rough and tumble medieval knights with their shiny armor and big swords? Percoco says they were actually expected to weep on occasion.

"In the Middle Ages there was a trope of masculine weeping being a mark of religious devotion and knightly chivalry; by the sixteenth century it was well-established that a masculine man was supposed to have deep emotions and to show them — in some cases, through tears."

It was a part of the whole chivalry thing and a sign of religious devotion.

As far back as Biblical times and in the age of Greek and Roman heroes, crying out of grief or sadness was just something men were expected to do.

From there, Percoco jumped forward to 17th and 18th century England. Hundreds and hundreds of years later, men crying and sharing their feelings — a gentlemanly trait known as "sensibility" — still hadn't gone out of style.

"A gentleman was to be courteous to women and other men, to talk problems out, to keep from bursting into loud displays of anger or drunkenness. You might think that that would also put the kibosh on weeping — giving way to feelings of all sorts — but this was not the case. Another gentlemanly trait of the eighteenth century was sensibility, which today sounds like it ought to mean "rationality" but is actually being aware of and susceptible to one's finer emotions."

Alex Wetmore, assistant professor in the English department at University of the Fraser Valley, chimed in as well to explain that in the mid-to-late 1700s, popular fiction often celebrated male leads who cried "a lot"!

"People are often interested to hear that there was a period of time of a few decades (1740s to 1770s) where fiction devoted to men who cry (a lot!) was not only acceptable, but, in fact, tremendously popular and widely celebrated."

Wetmore identified an archetype, which he calls "The Man of Feeling," who appears in a ton of novels from that era. (Wetmore even wrote a bookon the subject.)

"When I try to explain this recurring character type to students, I usually describe him as like a comic book superhero ... BUT with the notable exception that the 'superpower' of men of feeling is an ability to spontaneously shed copious amounts of tears."

It's quite the contrast to the unflinching action heroes we see today.

Photo by Sander Sammy on Unsplash

It wasn't until the early 1800s that things began to change, and men started feeling the pressure to hold those tears in.

Percoco and Wetmore were both hesitant to prescribe a definite cause and effect relationship, but they do suspect the Industrial Revolution played a big part in turning the tide. (Reportedly, some factory managers actually trained workers, usually men, to suppress their emotions in order to keep productivity high.)

The age of the stoic and emotionless cowboy (a la John Wayne, who most people agree never cried in a movie) wasn't far behind, followed by the gun-wielding "Die Hard"-ian action heroes of modern cinema.

But ... while fictional macho men may have been suppressing their tears, the real men of the real world were doing the same thing they'd always done: wearing their hearts on their sleeves.

For instance: General Ulysses S. Grant cried when the Civil War finally ended. President Eisenhower cried on the eve of D-Day. And baseball legend Lou Gehrig cried when the Yankees retired his number.

And, yet, since it took hold about 200 years ago, the expectation that "boys don't cry" persists.

Today's world is certainly not one that celebrates open displays of emotion from men, often to their detriment.

Research shows that these repressed feelings can often come out in unhealthy and harmful ways, and it's all so we can meet a standard of masculinity that, likely, never truly existed.

Next time you catch someone bemoaning the "wussification of American boys" and yearning for a time "when men were men," it might be worth asking them when, exactly, they think that was.

This article originally appeared on 11.20.17

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Joy

This viral TED Talk about being a 'real man' still holds up today

It's still a struggle to go from not being "man enough" to knowing that you are enough.

Warner Bros Pictures/Youtube, TED/Youtube

You are KENough

If you haven't heard actor Justin Baldoni's name, you at least probably recognize him.

Best known for his role as Rafael on "Jane the Virgin," Baldoni is the epitome of Hollywood's "tall, dark, and handsome" stereotype. He is every bad boy with a sinister past. Every womanizing billionaire. Every domineering playboy.

In a talk at TEDWomen 2017, Baldoni joked about the string of characters he's been typecast as (most of them appear shirtless a good majority of the time).

"Most of the men I play ooze machismo, charisma, and power," he said. "And when I look in the mirror, that's just not how I see myself."

Baldoni came to realize that it wasn't just on-screen that he was pretending. In his everyday life, he found himself trying to conform to society's masculine ideal as well, and it all felt like a lie.

"I've been pretending to be strong when I felt weak. Confident when I felt insecure. And tough when really I was hurting," he explained.

The past few years have been a journey for Baldoni, who has set out to redefine for himself what "being a man" is really all about. In his TED Talk, he shared three major realizations he had along the way.

1. "Real men" make themselves vulnerable — not just with women, but with other men too.

Baldoni's early attempts at being more open about his emotions publicly on social media went great — until he realized almost all of his followers were women. Opening up to his fellow men was another challenge altogether.

"If it's about work or sports or politics or women, [men] have no problem sharing our opinions," he observed. "But if it's about our insecurities, our struggles, our fear of failure, it's almost like we become paralyzed."

He recalled recently wanting to talk to his guy friends about a serious issue in his life and needing almost the entirety of a three-day guys trip to work up the courage to do it. Once he did, however, he found many of his buddies were eager to share with him, too.

"My display of vulnerability can, in some cases, give other men permission to do the same," he realized.

(If only there were a TEDMen Baldoni could have given this talk at.)

2. "Real men" hold other men, and themselves, accountable.

As he began to engage more with other men, Baldoni started to become even more aware of toxic male behavior around him. It was everywhere.

He recalls an Instagram comment someone left on a photo of him and his wife. The random male commenter called the photo "gay shit."

So Baldoni decided to message him.

"I said, very politely, 'I'm just curious, because I'm on an exploration of masculinity, and I wanted to know why my love for my wife qualified as gay shit,'" he remembered.

To his surprise, the man responded thoughtfully about how his own displays of affection had been mocked as a child, and he apologized for lashing out.

"Secretly he was waiting for permission to express himself," Baldoni said. "And all he needed was another man holding him accountable and creating a safe place for him to feel. The transformation was instant."

3. "Real men" embrace the good aspects of traditional masculinity — with a twist.

Not everything traditionally associated with manliness is bad. Strength, bravery, and confidence are great things to aspire to (regardless of one's gender). But Baldoni urges men to think deeply about what those qualities really mean in practice and whether, perhaps, there's not a different way to think about spending their energy trying to achieve them.

"Are you brave enough ... to be vulnerable?" he asked. "Are you strong enough to be sensitive? ... Are you confident enough to listen to the women in your life? ... Will you be man enough to stand up to other men when you hear 'locker room talk'?"

Near the end of his talk, Baldoni acknowledges an important point: As bad as the "performance of masculinity" is for men, these rigid gender roles can be far worse for women.

He bemoaned that there wasn't even enough time to get into issues like the gender pay gap, division of household labor, and violence against women — all issues created and upheld by the toxic male behavior Baldoni's fighting against.

"The deeper we get into this, the uglier it gets," he said.

He challenged the men watching and listening to demand better of themselves and those around them.

"If we want to be part of the solution, words are no longer enough," Baldoni said.

This article originally appeared on 12.08.17

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