upworthy

men

via X
Couples who met after 30.

A lot of emotions rise to the surface after being dumped. It can leave a person feeling sad, lonely, confused, rejected and left with a sense that you’ll never find anyone again. People tend to think, “If that person couldn’t stick it out with me, then who will?” However, most of the time, it’s irrational worry. There are more than a few billion people on the planet to choose from, you just gotta put yourself out there. But that’s a hard thing to hear when your feelings are still raw.

A study reported by The New York Times found that today, the old “plenty of fish in the sea” cliche is growing truer by the day. We are nearing a point where there will be more unmarried adults in the U.S. than those who have tied the knot. The most recent Census data shows the share of American adults who were neither married nor living with a significant other had risen to 46.4%. That lines up with the demographics of dating app users; about 63% of the millions and millions of users are over 30.

So good news for you single folks, the dating pool just keeps getting deeper. Still, that doesn't mean it feels that way when you're in the thick of it.

kelsey huse, marriage after 30, real stories, love stories, marriage, love, relationships, dating, dating apps, relationshipsFirst dates are intimidating, especially as we get older. Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

In 2020, Kelsey Huse, a software engineer from Austin, Texas, broke up with her boyfriend and at the age of 30, felt like she was never going to meet anyone again.

It's an understandable feeling. Our culturally accepted notion of love is that you're going to meet the love of your life in college or your early 20s. After that, you'll be lucky to settle for companionship. Huse wanted to know if there was any hope in her future.

“My bf broke up with me this week and I just wanna hear happy stories of ppl who found their partner in their 30s thanks,” she wrote on X.

Huse received an avalanche of responses from people who shared pictures and stories about how they met their special people in their 30s and later, giving her plenty of hope for the future. Her tweet went mega-viral earning nearly 7,000 retweets and 150,000 likes.

Here are some of the best responses.

"I strongly believe getting married in your 20s should be illegal. Sort of kidding, but I met my husband at 32 at a funeral. We make each other laugh just by being ourselves. He is the kindest person I know. We celebrated our 13 year wedding anniversary this year," one user wrote.

"I met my wife in my 30’s and we got married in our 40’s. Love her," added another.


Stories poured in by the dozens to prove that, yes, it really is possible to not only date close to and after 30, but to find love, and even to find the love of your life.

That's not to say that dating after 30 doesn't have its challenges and differences. Experts recommend re-evaluating your approach as you get older. In your 30s it's probably time to ditch the games and be more direct about what you want. Don't waste time with people who don't want the same things in life and love as you, but you'll also have to learn to give people some grace and patience — everyone has scars and warts at this age, including you.

Huse couldn't believe the incredible responses she received and better yet, that they really did lift her spirits.


kelsey huse, marriage after 30, real stories, love stories, marriage, love, relationships, dating, dating apps, relationshipsYes, even us elder-millennials can meet someone new and fall in love at any point in life. Photo by Sean Stratton on Unsplash

Huse may not have known it at the time, but breaking up at 30 may have been a blessing in disguise. Studies show that people who get married later in life have better mental health than those who get hitched at a younger age.

According to family ecology researcher Matt Johnson, those who married at the same age as or later than their peers reported higher levels of happiness and self-esteem—and less depression—than those who married early.

"People who marry early tend not to get as much education, have kids earlier than is optimal, and as a result get locked into careers they hadn't aspired to. In mid-life they're a little more depressed—or have a lower sense of self-worth—not because they violated some societal norm, but because they started down the path to family life early,” Johnson said.

Huse's story shows that there is no time frame for love and that it’s possible to find the perfect person well after the age of 30. It also shows that even though Twitter/X gets a deserved bad rap for being a pretty hostile environment, every once in a while people come together to do something beautiful.

This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

Canva Photos

Guys had a good laugh when a woman asked if they get hit on more now that they're older

I can remember a very few instances in my life of being obviously hit on, most of them in college. Once, when working retail, a girl came into the store and slipped me her number without so much as saying a word. Later, I was working as a pizza delivery driver when a girl I'd delivered to had her friend call the store and get my phone number. A woman's voice inside one the houses, as I was handing over a fresh pizza, once yelled out that I was "hot."

If it sounds like bragging, please don't be mistaken. It has been a VERY long time since anything like that happened. What's funny is that through all the many years since and the hazy memories of college, and though I'm quite happily married now, I remember those instances extremely well, probably because they are so few and far between throughout my life.

A 24 year old woman recently took to social media to ask an interesting question about flirting and aging: "Do women start hitting on men more once you’re 30+?"


men, masculinity, mens health, flirting, dating, dating advice, dating tips, women, funny, redditGuys won't recognize flirting unless it looks like this.Giphy

In a post on r/AskMenAdvice, a woman reported that her husband was feeling insecure because whenever they'd go out, she would get hit on by men. Sometimes the attention would take the form of random guys coming up to the husband and telling him "how lucky he is." (As a husband myself, I can confirm that we hate that.) Other times, when she went out alone, men would be more direct in their attempts to flirt with her.

She tried to comfort him by assuring him that he was extremely handsome and one day, the tables would turn.

"I told him I think men start getting hit on/approached more when they get past 30. I guess I believe women start to get more confident with approaching with age. Also once women start getting older they do not get approached like they did in their prime causing them to reach out. Is this just a bad assumption?" she wrote.

Then she asked for input. "Did men start noticing a difference in the amount or the way women approached them as they got older? Maybe I’m way off but it makes sense in my head and I’d love some honest feedback. Men did you notice a difference with age and women did you get bolder/more confident with age?"

The guys in the comments chimed in with a wide variety of diverse answers: Everything from No, to Hell No, to Absolutely Not.


men, masculinity, mens health, flirting, dating, dating advice, dating tips, women, funny, redditHow many ways are there to say No?Giphy

Here are some of the most illuminating responses:

"I can tell you, lady, zero is still zero after 30"

"Guy 35 never been hit on in my life."

"Not in my 20s, not in my 30s, not in my 40s, not in my 50s. Will keep you posted."

"I get hit on twice as often. 200% of zero is also zero"

Here's a screenshot for illustrative purposes, showing guys' answers as to whether they get hit on more after 30:

men, masculinity, mens health, flirting, dating, dating advice, dating tips, women, funny, redditDo guys get hit on after 30? No, no, no, and no.Reddit

"In the US, very few men get hit on in general," one user mused. "It’s probably less than 1% of the adult male population overall. It’s just not really how the culture is here, men are expected to hit on women so most of the time, that’s how it goes."

But wait, there is some hope! At least, according to another guy that chimed in:

"30, nope. 40 maybe a little. 45 yes. 50 absolutely 100%. Maybe it’s the grey hair?"

The conversation is illuminating in a number of ways. First, it says a lot about the male psyche. Second, it says a lot about different communication styles between men and women.

While the comments and responses to the question are pretty funny, especially taken as a whole, they also paint a pretty bleak picture. A lot of men are touch starved and affection starved, lacking basic and necessary intimacy in their everyday lives. They don't get nearly as much physical touch from their parents and are afraid to touch their friends for fear of being judged.

A lot of sitcoms in the 90s and 2000s would frequently play close friendships between men for homoerotic laughs. That's the kind of environment a lot of guys were raised in. The only safe place to get that closeness and intimacy is in a romantic relationship, so for men who are single, the loneliness can be devastating.

men, masculinity, mens health, flirting, dating, dating advice, dating tips, women, funny, redditFor the record, I still love Scrubs.Giphy

Of course, women have to deal with unwanted attention from men that is often downright frightening and can be a threat to their physical safety, so no one needs to shed any tears for the poor men here. But if you've ever wanted to understand what's really going on in the brains and hearts of the men in your life, this thread should tell you a lot.

The other end of this coin is that guys often don't realize when they are being flirted with! Either because they just aren't used to picking up the cues or because the flirting is too subtle and conservative.

It's been shown that women are far more adept at nonverbal communications and cues, whereas men tend to be more direct and vocal in the way they communicate. So it's definitely possible that all the men in the thread have been waiting on the blatantly obvious "YOU'RE HOT!" when the prolonged eye contact and subtle smile were right in front of them the whole time.

Ultimately, maybe it's for the best. If guys thought every common compliment or polite nod was a come-on, that would only serve to make things way worse for women. Men will just have to learn to start hugging and complimenting each other more without fear of judgment.


Humor

A guy revealed the 12 simple things that make men happy and it's 100% accurate

If it's not a dog, a buddy, a beer, and a cool stick, we don't want it.

Nolan Reid / TikTok
A guy definitively listed the 12 things that make men happy and it's 100% accurate

Minimalism is on the rise, not just in design and architecture, but in the way people live their lives. Having fewer things, sporting simpler styles, and enjoying the fundamental good things in life is cool now. Regular people who aren't influencers post fewer updates to social media. The world is just so loud and chaotic, more people are getting satisfaction out of just... chilling out and existing.

There's an old joke/meme that goes something like this: "Guys literally only want one thing and it's disgusting." Its used to imply, obviously, that men are shallow and crude creatures. TikTok creator and simple-life advocate Nolan Reid, however, has a different idea of what men really want.

Nolan recently made a video about "Little things in life that make men happy."

The hilarious list includes:

  • A fridge full of beer.
  • Drinking said beer in the garage. With your dog. And a good buddy.
  • Finding a cool stick.
  • Kicking a rock.
  • Staring at water.
  • Dropping rocks into said water.

As a fellow man, I would say: Yeah. That pretty much covers it.

It really doesn't take much! Watch Nolan's full video to see the rest, and just appreciate how much joy and satisfaction he gets from these simple things.


@nolanreid7

It’s that simple #beer #mustache #muzzymade



People loved Nolan's list—so much so that they began adding their own ideas of "simple things men love." The video racked up hundreds of thousands of views across TikTok and Instagram.

One commenter wrote, "He just described my whole personality." Another added, "This guy gets it."

Others chimed in with their own additions to the list, like staring at a fire for hours or just peace and quiet.

But most of the nearly 200 comments were just people chiming in to say one thing:

"Hell yeah."

Finally, someone who understands us! The video was such a hit that Reid put out two sequels where he added things like skipping rocks, throwing a thumbs up in a photo, or making something from scratch. "A dog" seems to make an appearance in every single video, and for good reason: Dogs make guys happy!

Nolan's ultra-relaxed vision of "masculinity" is honestly so refreshing.

@nolanreid7

And many more #littlethings #muzzymade

Men on social media are usually bombarded with the Andrew Tates and Jordan Petersons of the world—influencers who constantly berate us to make more money, lose weight and add muscle, sleep with more women, take charge, and relentlessly self-improve.

I like Nolan's much chiller idea of masculinity. It reminds me of being a kid: taking pleasure in the simple things, not racing to be anywhere, not trying to impress anyone or prove anything. And I love that all the things listed are timeless. They were enjoyed by men, and all people, in the 50s, in the 90s, and they'll be enjoyed by people 50 years from now, too.

Nolan's entire account is a breath of fresh air, an antidote to hustle culture. His videos find joy in:

  • Breaking down cardboard boxes
  • Driving at sunset
  • Going fishing
  • Throwing a frisbee
  • Wearing t-shirts

A daily visit to his page is almost like a meditation. I highly recommend giving him a follow to add a little counterprogramming to your social media feed.

Nolan says in another recent video that he started making TikToks and Instagram reels just for fun, but discovered along the way that he was really passionate about the message.

@nolanreid7

And many more #littlethings #men #happy #muzzymade

"I never thought that my simple living and love for little things would resonate with so many of you."

He said he hopes to inspire people to "take a step back and enjoy the good simple things in life." And now, I suddenly have the urge to go chuck a rock into a river, so I would say: Mission Accomplished!

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

Humor

13 men spill the weirdest, silliest secrets women don't know about guys

At some point, we've all fantasized about sacrificing our lives so others can escape danger.

Canva Photos

Tongs must be clicked a certain number of times. And all men dream of saving the day.

Men are simple creatures. We have far more emotional depth than we get credit for, but in truth we're very easy to please. It doesn't take much at all to truly make us happy: Good friends, a pat on the back, throwing rocks into a river. You know, the good stuff.

Alas, guys remain completely misunderstood. Modern masculinity forces men to wear masks, to conceal their emotions and true deepest desires for fear of ridicule and rejection. And it turns out that those deepest desires aren't really all that unusual. If you've ever wondered what the men in your life are really thinking about, it's probably much simpler and sillier than you could have ever imagined.

One man took to social media to clear up a few misconceptions. He posed the question: "What’s a 'guy secret' that’s completely harmless but weirdly universal?"


men, masculinity, truths about men, misconceptions about men, toxic masculinity, reddit, viral, funny, humorNo matter their age, men yearn for a sleepover with the boys. Photo by Husna Miskandar on Unsplash

Men from all over the world were eager to chime in and spill the tea, even as others jokingly urged them not to reveal too much.

1. Men play little pee games in the bathroom

"Peeing on the side of the toilet so there’s no noise," one user wrote in the popular thread on Reddit's r/AskMen.

Or aiming for little real or imaginary targets in the bowl. All guys do this whether anyone realizes it or not.

2. Men love a good hole, or a stick, or a rock

"It's also pre programmed that I must go and have a look if I see a bloke digging a hole," someone wrote.

Many users agreed that finding cool sticks and pretending they were guns or swords was a staple pastime. If you thought this was only something little kids do, you thought wrong.

3. Men also love a good piece of heavy machinery


men, masculinity, truths about men, misconceptions about men, toxic masculinity, reddit, viral, funny, humorMen appreciate a good piece of machinery.Giphy

"Had a problem with the fire alarm at work yesterday. A few of the guys and I went out to check out the firetruck. Real nice piece of machinery, that," a guy shared.

Tractors, Monster Trucks, helicopters. You don't have to be a total gearhead to appreciate the amazing engineering at work on these vehicles.

4. Men fantasize about saving the day

One guy said, "The most random universal one I can think of is at some point (or often) fantasizing about saving the day. School shooters, hijackers, someone robbing an elder in front of you, some dudes trying to hurt someone.... and in all situations you turn it around. Think everyone has thought of it at some point"

Can confirm. We've all pretended or imagined that we were the hero, rehearsed our lines for the follow-up interview on the evening news, and no, this urge doesn't go away any as we get older.

men, masculinity, truths about men, misconceptions about men, toxic masculinity, reddit, viral, funny, humorMen secretly want to be Captain America. Or just Chris Evans.Giphy

5. Men love the nod, and its many facets

'"The nods' with their subtle differences, but completely different meanings," one user wrote.

Another translated some of the meanings: "Nod up: what’s up dude? Nod down: hello sir"

And, "Nod to the right - come here and look at this. Nod to the left - can I have a word with you outside?"

And they say men don't communicate!

6. Items demand to be tested and fidgeted with

"When holdin a drill, it must be Zzzt Zzzted....Tongs must be clinked at least twice," someone wrote.

One does not simply hold a ball without tossing it from hand to hand, either.

7. Men dream of making the ultimate sacrifice

"We all fantasize about our death having meaning or purpose," someone added. "Holding the line while your brothers retreat. Sacrificing ourselves to save others. Fighting the boss fight and winning but slowly bleeding out in the soft snow and silence of a winters night. Till Valhalla, my brothers."

Yes, we all basically want to go out like Boromir from The Lord of the Rings. Gotta die one way or another anyway, right? Might as well go out in a blaze of glory.


men, masculinity, truths about men, misconceptions about men, toxic masculinity, reddit, viral, funny, humorA hero's death is something men fantasize about regularly.Giphy

8. Men sometimes perform acts of chivalry that no one notices

"Sadly maybe not universal, but my mum taught me the man always walks on the side of the road to protect the lady from puddles and such. ... A fair few of my exes didn't understand why I was switching sides when necessary, when we crossed the road or something," someone wrote. "I thought it was a shame it's not common. ... On the flip side, if I see a couple walking around, and see the man on the correct side, I immediately gain respect for him without having to know him in the slightest."

For many of us, holding the door for strangers or waiting to make sure a friend or loved one gets inside their house safely before we leave; things like this are engrained in us from a young age, even if they're sometimes invisible.

9. Men are deep, but very capable of thinking about nothing

"When we say we are thinking about nothing, we are thinking about nothing," a user wrote.

Others clarified that nothing can mean nothing, or can mean a stream of thoughts so inane and irrelevant that we wouldn't dare to speak them out loud, even if we could make sense of them.

10. Things should never be handed that can be thrown instead

"You never hand another guy the keys. They must be thrown, even if you’re 18" apart," a guy revealed.

I take this approach with my kids. Oh you want this shirt? Better catch it!

men, masculinity, truths about men, misconceptions about men, toxic masculinity, reddit, viral, funny, humorWe like tossing things instead of handing them over.Giphy

11. Men are highly superstitious.

The obvious must always be stated out loud, lest something terrible happen.

"If you don’t slap the tie down ratchet strap and say the words 'That’s not going anywhere' then it will in fact go somewhere," one guy said.

Similarly, if it's raining outside, we must always remark that it is 'really coming down out there' even though everyone can see it with their eyes.

12. Men secretly want a hug.

"Some guys want a hug bad but are afraid to say it. Try putting out a hand and saying 'do you do handshakes or hugs?' and a lot of people want a hug," a user added.

Don't assume that guys don't want or enjoy physical affection, even from each other, just because they might be too embarrassed to initiate it.

13. For guys, it doesn't get any better than adding another log to a roaring fire.

"Putting logs in a bonfire and watching it while being amazed. Never gets old," one man wrote.

How could you ever get bored of watching flames dance around?

The thread is a great reminder of the simple things that really make life worth living. A popular myth says that men think about sex every seven seconds, and otherwise they are machines of pure ambition, strategizing and scheming how to make more money and get ahead. Not so! What people don't know is that most of the time men are thinking about playing the hero, clicking a pair of tongs, or even nothing at all.