Upworthy's book GOOD PEOPLE comes out on September 3, 2024 — take a look!

Shop
 Explore 

compliments

Joy

Dapper British man delights strangers with 'devastatingly effective' compliments

He'll turn you into an expert at delivering compliments in under a minute.

via TroyHawke/TikTok

Comedian Troy Hawke explains the art of the compliment.

Complimenting a totally random stranger on the street is a great way to get some serious side-eye. But British comedian Troy Hawke is such a master at the unique and sincere compliment that he spreads a bit of joy wherever he goes.

Hawke’s comedic persona is an erudite, sophisticated 1930s Errol Flynn-style throwback, and people seem to appreciate a compliment from a man who clearly has mastered the art of etiquette and grace.

In a recent TikTok video that received over 9 million views, the comedian throws a total charm storm on Notting Hill in London, where he compliments strangers on their wardrobes, how they walk and their driving skills. The cool thing is that everyone who receives a compliment from Hawke seems to enjoy the encounter.

— (@)

The video is a friendly reminder that a well-timed and accurate compliment can be powerful. "Compliments are simple but not easy. Trust me," Hawke says, noting that it's especially difficult for English people to accept one. "Sincerely appreciating something someone has made an effort on will make their day.”

“The more unique, the more bespoke [the compliment], the more devastatingly effective,” Hawke adds. “Get it right, and it’s like a natural high for the pair of you.”

Hawke’s video is a fun reminder to all of us to be more thoughtful, sincere and prolific in our compliment-giving. They can really have a significant effect on another person’s day. The great Mark Twain once said, “My child, I can live on a good compliment two weeks with nothing else to eat.”

From Your Site Articles

uplifting

AmazonSmile

Photographer Mehmet Genç travels the world snapping pictures of all the interesting people he meets. But it's not always an easy job.

Genç and one of his subjects. All photos by Mehmet Genç used with permission.

"If you go to remote place, usually people there are not relaxed when taking photo of them," he said in an email. He asks his subjects to smile, to loosen up, but often they won't, at least not right away. It takes time to earn their trust and build comfort with them, he says.

So on a trip to San Cristóbal, Mexico, in 2015, Genç tried something a little different while taking pictures of a local woman.

He told her, "You are so beautiful." And he meant it. Her face lit up, he said, and when he saw the photo of that moment, he knew he was onto something incredible.

Right then and there, the project "You Are So Beautiful" was born, with Genç traveling the world trying to capture the joy people experience in the exact moment they receive a genuine compliment.

Those four simple words transcend language, culture, and age. His work mostly features women, but Genç said men like being told they are beautiful too. Who wouldn't?

These before-and-after photos are truly incredible. Here are some of Genç's absolute favorites:

1. A woman from Xela in Guatemala.

2. A 70-year-old Ecuadorian woman.

3. Margarita, 74, also from Ecuador.

4. A woman from the mountains of Colombia.

5. A young girl in a small Colombian village.

6. A woman from a Guatemalan village called Santa Maria.

7. Iwan-eva, a native of the Amazon region in Brazil.

8. A 17-year-old girl from Brazil's Amazon region.

9. An 88-year-old from the town of Atalaia do Norte in Brazil.

10. And Zarek, a 77-year-old native Arhuaco woman from Colombia.

Genç says the response to his project has been overwhelmingly positive, with many people wanting to recreate it themselves.

And while the photos are great, he insists the project is really about making people happy — and how easy it can be to do that.

"You can just say two words ('You're beautiful') and ... people are happy!" he said. "It's not important what age and where they are."

That's a message that can only be described as, well, beautiful.

From Your Site Articles

Family

How a DIY dress helped one woman reclaim the power words had on her body.

'We should all be able to celebrate and love ourselves without fear of criticism from others, whatever shape or size we are.'

News flash: Words have power. This is something Jojo Oldham knows all too well.

Whether you're a soap star hearing lewd comments made by a politician 10 years ago or the average woman getting catcalled on her way home from work, what other people have to say about your body leave a lasting impression.

Over Oldham's 31 years of existence, she's received countless comments about her body — both good and bad.

After years of letting these words affect how she sees herself, however, Oldham was finally ready to release them and embrace herself.

She took all the comments she's heard about her body over the years and painted them on a dress. Posing for pictures, with a smile on her face, she took the power those words had over her and refused to let them dictate her self-worth any longer.

Photo via Jojo Oldham/Lovely Jojo's, used with permission.

"The love I have for my body these days is something I've had to learn. And it requires constant maintenance," Oldham wrote on her website.

Photo via Jojo Oldham/Lovely Jojo's, used with permission.

Like so many of us, Oldham says she's been in a love-hate relationship with her body for as long as she can remember. There are days when she's thrilled with how she looks, and then there are days when she wants to delete every unflattering photo ever taken of her. The comments she would receive fanned the flame of her own insecurities.

"I had 31 years-worth of other people’s comments about my body swirling around my head and popping into it on a daily basis, and I wanted to do something positive with them," Oldham explained over email.

The dress is a badge of honor, symbolic of the fact that, while Oldham may have been called these things, she is not defined by them.

Photo via Jojo Oldham/Lovely Jojo's, used with permission.

"The comments that made the final cut have all stuck with me for different reasons," Oldham wrote. "Some because they’re really weird, some because they’re really lovely, some because they’re funny, and some because they’re particularly nasty and they really crushed me at the time."

Photo via Jojo Oldham/Lovely Jojo's, used with permission.

"Once I learned how to be happy with myself as I am, the negative things that other people said about my body just stopped mattering to me," Oldham explained.

Photo via Jojo Oldham/Lovely Jojo's, used with permission.

Comments can do serious damage to even the strongest, most self-confident people. Oldham hopes her dress will help curtail some of that damage.

"We should all be able to celebrate and love ourselves without fear of criticism from others, whatever shape or size we are," she wrote on her website.

She hopes the work will inspire women to remember they are not the sum of the comments made about their bodies; they are so much more.

From Your Site Articles

Artist brilliantly illustrates the power of words in a cute, yet thought-provoking comic ›

Family

A comic explains the screwed-up reason people complimented this girl for being sick.

'Health comes in lots of sizes. Beauty comes in many forms.'

In the world of body compliments, there's an unfortunate pairing that still exists:

"You look great — have you lost weight?"

The seed of dieting was planted in America back in the 1830s by a minister named Sylvester Graham. He suggested eating a simple grain diet would encourage health and temper libidos, while a fatty diet would encourage sinful behavior. It marked the beginning of fad diets in America, which would eventually lead to an unhealthy focus on slenderizing.

While we know now that skinny absolutely does not equal healthy and attractive, the over 180 years of brainwashing has done enough damage to the point where we rarely even question what's underneath the skinny.

Case and point, illustrator Miriam Caldwell's poignant comic on how an illness that made her lose weight opened her eyes to the body issues we project on each other — and how to see past them.

Comic by Miriam Caldwell. Used with permission.

"Nobody can tell how healthy a person is from looking at them except a doctor and the person themselves," Miriam wrote in an email, explaining that she wants her comic to "move the focus back to how we feel rather than how we look."

Compliments are great and all, but at the end of the day, it's how you see yourself that matters most.

From Your Site Articles

Stop complimenting women for being tiny - Upworthy ›

These compliments have everything to do with who your kids are, not just what they've done.

I’ve always been proud of my children, just like any other parent.

When they were little, I was always praising them for good behavior and cooperation. When they started school and academics, music and sports became their main focus, and they made me proud in a number of ways with their achievements, hard work, and performance.

Photo via iStock.

But we all know that life isn’t just about what you do. The most precious moments are rarely related to merit or athletic prowess. Instead, character is built in the moments when we see a kid's integrity, compassion, and dignity grow and shine.

But whenever I look back, I realize that what makes me most proud of my kids has nothing to do with their most obvious and impressive accomplishments.

We have many report cards, team photos, trophies, and certificates of merit by which to remember all of those things.

Instead, I remember other things, like the first time they helped someone who was hurt or watching them make courageous choices. And I wish I’d been more specific about praising my kids for those things.

Photo via iStock.

Here are 21 things to compliment your kids about that involve their character, not their achievements:

The first time they help someone who is hurt.
Seeing them stand up for a sibling or friend.
The first time they buy a gift with their own money.
When a child is loving and kind to older relatives.
The first time they are buried in a book.
The first time they realize a song has touched their soul.
When they learn to appreciate art.
When they make the best of a bad day on their own.
The first time a child shows compassion and puts others first.
The first time a child shows mercy and gives someone another chance.
The first time your child genuinely roots for a weaker teammate.
Hearing them offer sincere advice to a sibling or friend.
The first time they take the time to teach a younger child.
When they realize how important friendships are.
The first time they find moral issue with something and take a stand against it.
Their first heartfelt attempt at asking for forgiveness.
The first time they wholeheartedly forgive.
The first time a child tries something new when the odds are against them.
When they know they’re marching to their own beat and they are proud of that.
Not just trying, but trying again and again.
The first time they accept rejection with grace and dignity.

These are the things you often can’t capture on paper or in photos.

When cameras are put away, when there are no grades to strive for, and when there are no coaches or teammates around, the most precious defining moments take place.

Photo via iStock.

I want my children to know that I care about these things — the people they are, not just the things they do.

From Your Site Articles

Englishman compliments random strangers on the street - Upworthy ›

Remember back in 2008 when Obama said he disagreed with John McCain, but would always honor his military service?

Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images.

That feeling of niceness was great ... but it seems to be short-lived in political campaigns. The closer it gets to Election Day, the meaner the candidates seem to get, especially when it comes to each other.

We know that mean language weakens people's faith in the system, which isn't great.

Previous studies have shown that going negative can also be dangerous for the candidates themselves. When you start slinging mud at your opponents, you might get splashed yourself.

But what would happen if, instead of criticizing your opponent, you complimented them?

Professor Nicoletta Cavazza at the University of Modena and Reggio Emilia in Italy wanted to find out. To do this, the researchers asked 90 students to sit down and read fake political speeches. Some of the speeches had the typical mostly-negative political cadence you'd expect.

But half were tweaked to include a compliment toward the opposition. For example: "I believe that my competitor, who is an upright and smart person, will agree with me about the need to change this situation."

What did Cavazza find? In the end, the students rated the complimentary politician as being more trustworthy overall.

Unfortunately, we're not likely to see Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump getting all buddy-buddy.

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

But this research does show us something interesting about our brains.

Cavazza cautioned that the study did have limitations, such as the fact that the politicians were made up, which might limit how much we can apply this to real politics just yet. More research will need to be done to tease out more nuance in their findings as well.

But the study does teach us that we tend to trust people more if it looks like they're going against their own best interests and acting in someone else's best interest instead.

In the case of politics, this can look like being nice to your competition.

But in real life, it can also look like helping someone out randomly. Imagine going to a car mechanic for repair. Maybe there's been a weird thump when it turns on or a little jingle-jangle noise when you go over 40 miles an hour. You leave the car with them for a few hours and when you get back, they've not only fixed the problem but also changed your oil for free!

What a standup bloke. You'd trust him with your car next time, right?

One of the most interesting things about politics is how it lets us see human nature played out on a national stage.

Next time I watch politics, I'll keep an eye out for any flattery because it could be the trick to winning ... although this year, I may have to wait until after Nov. 8 for that.