+
Identity

Kate Winslet says women become more 'powerful' and 'sexy' in their 40s. She's spot on.

'Let's go girls, let's just be in our power. Why not? Life's too flipping short.'

Kate Winslet, aging

Kate Winslet describes the power of women in their 40s.

A weird thing happens to many women in their 40s, something I had heard rumblings of before I arrived at them but didn't fully understand until I was in them. Somehow, somewhat suddenly, you just get better.

I mean, there are definitely some complaints about aching bones and perimenopause to be lodged at this age, but there's an internal shift that happens where you sort of come into your own self. You know who you are and you feel comfortable in your skin.

Kate Winslet described it perfectly in a recent interview with BBC Radio 4's 'Woman's Hour.'


“I'm 47, there are bits that don't do what you want them to do anymore. There's something kind of fab about going: ‘Oh well, that's just the way it is, isn't it?’"

Yes. It is totally fab. My body has changed in ways that feel far too "old" for the age I feel inside, and there are some days when I look at my suddenly crepey arm skin and go "Whoa!" But generally, there's a kind of acquiescence to change that goes along with this age. Even if we take good care of ourselves and even if we use all the creams and serums in the world, our bodies are still going to change in ways we can't control. Fighting change is fruitless.

Winslet continued:

“But I think women come into their 40s, certainly mid-40s, thinking: ‘Oh well, this is the beginning of the decline and things start to change and fade and slide in directions that I don't want them to go in anymore.’ And I've just decided no.

“We become more woman, more powerful, more sexy. We grow into ourselves more, we have the opportunity to speak and speak our mind and not be afraid of what people think of us, not care what we look like quite so much. I think it's amazing. Let's go girls, let's just be in our power. Why not? Life's too flipping short.”

So much yes to all of that. I remember being younger and sort of fearing my 40s, feeling like it all must be downhill from there. But it's not. Not even close.

I'm exactly the same age as Winslet, and I've felt that power she describes.

One thing that happens is you start to simply and calmly not care what people think. It's not the purposeful, semi-rebellious version of not-caring-what-people-think that some are able to achieve when they're younger; it's a genuinely effortless confidence that just sort of arrives one day unannounced. There's a freedom in the effortlessness of it that is impossible to know until you experience it, but it's utterly delicious.

"Life's too flipping short" sort of sums it up. It's a saying we pay lip service to when we're younger, or which we use to justify all manner of YOLO risk-taking, but at this age it's more about not wasting our precious time or energy or life force on things that really don't matter.

This is not to say that women in our 40s have figured out the keys to everything or never experience self-doubt. Definitely not. But this decade is definitively powerful. It feels nothing like it looked like it would feel from the outside. I've never felt more comfortable in my own skin. I've never felt less pulled by trends. I've never felt better in my body (and yes, never sexier). I've had friends who are a little older than I am tell me about this phenomenon, and now that I've experienced it myself, I want to share it with women who might be fearing their 40s.

Never fear—the 40s are fabulous. Kate Winslet is right. We do become more ourselves, and it is amazing. And from what I've heard from women in their 50s, it keeps getting better, at least for a good while longer.

"Let's just be in our power," she says. Yes, let's. It's the absolute best place to be.

Nature

Pennsylvania home is the entrance to a cave that’s been closed for 70 years

You can only access the cave from the basement of the home and it’s open for business.

This Pennsylvania home is the entrance to a cave.

Have you ever seen something in a movie or online and thought, "That's totally fake," only to find out it's absolutely a real thing? That's sort of how this house in Pennsylvania comes across. It just seems too fantastical to be real, and yet somehow it actually exists.

The home sits between Greencastle and Mercersburg, Pennsylvania, and houses a pretty unique public secret. There's a cave in the basement. Not a man cave or a basement that makes you feel like you're in a cave, but an actual cave that you can't get to unless you go through the house.

Turns out the cave was discovered in the 1830s on the land of John Coffey, according to Uncovering PA, but the story of how it was found is unclear. People would climb down into the cave to explore occasionally until the land was leased about 100 years later and a small structure was built over the cave opening.

Keep ReadingShow less
Architectural Digest/Youtube

This house was made with love.

Celebrity home tours are usually a divisive topic. Some find them fun and inspirational. Others find them tacky or out of touch. But this home tour has seemingly brought unanimous joy to all.

“Stranger Things” actor David Harbour and British singer-songwriter Lily Allen, whose Vegas wedding in 2020 came with an Elvis impersonator, gave a tour of their delightfully quirky Brooklyn townhouse for Architectural Digest, and people were absolutely loving it.

For one thing, the house just looks cool. There’s nothing monotone or minimalist about it. No beige to be seen.

Keep ReadingShow less

Finally, someone explains why we all need subtitles

It seems everyone needs subtitles nowadays in order to "hear" the television. This is something that has become more common over the past decade and it's caused people to question if their hearing is going bad or if perhaps actors have gotten lazy with enunciation.

So if you've been wondering if it's just you who needs subtitles in order to watch the latest marathon-worthy show, worry no more. Vox video producer Edward Vega interviewed dialogue editor Austin Olivia Kendrick to get to the bottom of why we can't seem to make out what the actors are saying anymore. It turns out it's technology's fault, and to get to how we got here, Vega and Kendrick took us back in time.

They first explained that way back when movies were first moving from silent film to spoken dialogue, actors had to enunciate and project loudly while speaking directly into a large microphone. If they spoke and moved like actors do today, it would sound almost as if someone were giving a drive-by soliloquy while circling the block. You'd only hear every other sentence or two.

Keep ReadingShow less
Health

Oregon utilizes teen volunteers to run their YouthLine teen crisis hotline

“Each volunteer gets more than 60 hours of training, and master’s level supervisors are constantly on standby in the room.”

Oregon utilizes teen volunteers to man YouthLine teen crisis hotline

Editor's Note: If you are having thoughts about taking your own life, or know of anyone who is in need of help, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a United States-based suicide prevention network of over 200+ crisis centers that provides 24/7 service via a toll-free hotline with the number 9-8-8. It is available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.

Mental health is a top-of-mind issue for a lot of people. Thanks to social media and people being more open about their struggles, the stigma surrounding seeking mental health treatment appears to be diminishing. But after the social and emotional interruption of teens due the pandemic, the mental health crises among adolescents seem to have jumped to record numbers.

PBS reports that Oregon is "ranked as the worst state for youth mental illness and access to care." But they're attempting to do something about it with a program that trains teenagers to answer crisis calls from other teens. They aren't alone though, as there's a master's level supervisor at the ready to jump in if the call requires a mental health professional.

The calls coming into the Oregon YouthLine can vary drastically, anywhere from relationship problems to family struggles, all the way to thoughts of self-harm and suicide. Teens manning the phones are provided with 60 hours of training and are taught to recognize when the call needs to be taken over by the adult supervisor.

Keep ReadingShow less
Family

Mom shares her brutal experience with 'hyperemesis gravidarum' and other moms can relate

Hyperemesis gravidarum is a severe case of morning sickness that can last up until the baby is born and might require medical attention.

@emilyboazman/TikTok

Hyperemesis gravidarum isn't as common as regular morning sickness, but it's much more severe.

Morning sickness is one of the most commonly known and most joked about pregnancy symptoms, second only to peculiar food cravings. While unpleasant, it can often be alleviated to a certain extent with plain foods, plenty of fluids, maybe some ginger—your typical nausea remedies. And usually, it clears up on its own by the 20-week mark. Usually.

But sometimes, it doesn’t. Sometimes moms experience stomach sickness and vomiting, right up until the baby is born, on a much more severe level.

Hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), isn’t as widely talked about as regular morning sickness, but those who go through it are likely to never forget it. Persistent, extreme nausea and vomiting lead to other symptoms like dehydration, fainting, low blood pressure and even jaundice, to name a few.

Emily Boazman, a mom who had HG while pregnant with her third child, showed just how big of an impact it can make in a viral TikTok.

Keep ReadingShow less

The cast of TLC's "Sister Wives."

Dating is hard for just about anyone. But it gets harder as people age because the dating pool shrinks and older people are more selective. Plus, changes in dating trends, online etiquette and fashion can complicate things as well.

“Sister Wives” star Christine Brown is back in the dating pool after ending her “spiritual union” with polygamist Kody Brown and she needs a little help to get back in the swing of things. Christine and Kody were together for more than 25 years and she shared him with three other women, Janelle, Meri and Robyn.

Janelle and Meri have recently announced they’ve separated from Kody. Christine publicly admitted that things were over with Kody in November 2021.

Keep ReadingShow less