upworthy
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
Health

15 therapists share the simple, but profound, differences between their male and female clients

"Older men will often complain of physical pain when they really have depression."

therapy, couples therapy, psychologist, therapist, psychology, mental health
via Canva/Photos

A therapist working with a couple.

Although it’s important not to stereotype people based on gender, therapists can’t dismiss the critical role it plays when working with clients. Whether it’s the way men and women are socialized, with men being more likely to repress their feelings and women being pushed into being people-pleasers. Or, if it's the fundamental genetic and hormonal differences that separate the sexes, therapists have to take gender into account when working with their clients.

The interesting thing is that, these days, there is a growing gender equality in mental health. For years, women were more likely to get help from a therapist, but the number of men looking to get help for their mental health has been on the rise. This change is essential given the fact that men are four times more likely to die by suicide than women.


Therapists gain a unique insight into human nature, so it’s interesting to learn the psychological differences they’ve noticed between the sexes. A Reddit user recently posed a question to the AskReddit subforum: “Therapists of Reddit, what are some differences you've noticed between male/female patients?” and the therapists shared the differences and similarities they’ve noticed.

It’s worth noting that for this article, non-binary people aren’t mentioned, because they weren’t highlighted in the Reddit discussion. But that doesn’t mean that their unique psychological profiles are any less important than those of men and women.

Here are 15 of the most intriguing differences that therapists have noticed between men and women.

1. Tough guy/Shocking girl

"I saw a lot of young men who really struggled and wanted help, but 'being cool/tough' was more important. If they felt vulnerable, they lashed out with inappropriate sexual or aggressive behavior. It was often really easy to see where young men learned that anger and violence would get them what they thought they wanted. The girls who struggled to be vulnerable would be avoidant, sarcastic, or try to shock me by telling me the awful things they had done or experienced."

2. Different delusions

"I was a therapist for people with psychosis and schizophrenia, if that counts? Men were more likely to have God delusions. (I am god, or God speaks to me). Women were more likely to have romance delusions. (Michael Jackson speaks to me, I'm Mary and I'm pregnant by a miracle.)"

3. Men don't choose therapy

"Men frequently schedule their first appointment because their wife or girlfriend strongly encouraged it. It’s more rare for them to reach out of their own volition."

 therapy, psychologists, psychology, on the couch, men and therapy, male mental health A man talking with a therapist.via Canva/Photos

4. They open up in different ways

"For me, men opened up faster. The first visit or two might be super limited and then the floodgates open all at once. The women are more open at the start, but drop big details ways slower."

5. Older men and pain

"Older men will often complain of physical pain when they really have depression."

"Yeah, in the worst of my depression, it's felt as though my whole body is shutting down. Not sure how else to describe it."

6. Alexithymia

"Alexithymia was also much more common in males - that inability to identify emotions and therefore to explore them without professional support was absolutely crippling for many. (This was observed in session rather than as part of traditional/ structured research.)"

"I used to teach a social emotional learning module to young people (from about as young as kindergarten up to high school). It was just very basic stuff about how to recognize and manage your emotions in a healthy way. Half the time it was basic stuff like 'if you're angry, count to 10 instead of hitting your classmate.' We stopped offering it in part because so many dads got aggressive with our staff accusing us of essentially trying to 'make their sons gay.' Now I see the results of that sort of thinking all the time, adult men who filter everything through anger and aggression, or simply don't acknowledge or address their emotions."


 therapy, mental health, psychology, psychologists, gender and psychology A woman receiving mental health help.via Canva/Photos

7. The train metaphor

"Men will whisper 'I’m not sure if I’m allowed to feel sad' after getting hit by a metaphorical train. Women will apologize to the train."

8. They're not really different

"I treat people with cooccurring substance abuse and mental health issues. After 20 years, I don’t think that I could really say. Everybody has underlying issues that drive behavior, so if they have trauma or a personality disorder or an anxiety disorder, everybody presents in a different way. It’s not really specific to gender. It’s based on your history, your coping skills, your insight and judgment into what’s going on."

9. Honesty vs. perfection

"My male clients come to therapy wanting solutions, action, structure, and for me (a woman) to tell it like it is. Over time, we almost always end up going very psychodynamic (lots of talking, open-ended guiding questions, raising awareness of relational/childhood stuff, behavioral patterns) and processing the deeper stuff that they didn't think was relevant or no one gave them space to talk about before.

My female clients are very high-performing, controlling, perfectionist, burned-out, and trying to perform therapy and healing in a perfect way. Over time, we end up working on self-acceptance, processing anger, boundaries, values-driven action, self-image, and raising consciousness on gender roles and capitalism. And actually feeling the emotions in addition to labeling and analyzing them."

10. They do breakups differently

"I work with a lot of college students and guys always take break-ups much harder and are more likely to cry about them."

"I heard a line from a comedian that made sense to me: 'Women take breakups so well because they breakup with you months before they tell you. That's why they want to be friends after. You're the dude that got her through her breakup with you.'"


 therapist, female therapist, psychology, psychologist, mental health A therapist speaking with her client.via Canva/Photos

11. Safety vs. appreciation

"In most couples i saw as a therapist, the woman wants to feel emotionally safe while the guy wants to be appreciated for what hes doing. Also, most men don't seem to identify getting angry easily as emotional and only think crying is emotional. More men asked if they could be put on medication, and women preferred talk therapy."

12. Sense of self vs. sense of worth

"My male clients often struggle with their sense of self and masculinity, especially in relationships. There’s a lot of pressure tied to being the 'provider' or 'the emotional/stoic rock' in the relationship. Many were raised to believe that their value (or what they provide) is based on what they can materially/financially contribute, not on emotional presence. Vulnerability is often uncomfortable because they weren’t given the language or space to express it growing up.

With my female clients, I often see issues around self-worth, confidence, anxiety, people-pleasing, and difficulty expressing needs. Many grew up being taught to prioritize others and to equate self-sacrifice with goodness. That shows up in a lot of different ways, such as avoiding conflict, staying in unhealthy relationships too long, or struggling to set boundaries and enforce them."

13. Encouragement vs. attention

"I have learned that men need support and encouragement to thrive. Constant criticism is hard on a man; it causes him to lose his confidence, and in that situation, he has a hard time relating to his partner. Women, on the other hand, need attention. They need to feel seen and heard. They don't need to be understood as much as they need to feel heard. Women don't usually accept excuses. They want acknowledgment. When a woman is not feeling seen or heard. She doesn't feel loved and has a hard time relating to her partner."


 therapy, psychologists, psychology, on the couch, men and therapy, male mental health A young man talking to a therapist.via Canva/Photos

14. Societal impacts on gender

"I've seen women whose life problems are frequently attributable to beliefs, events, and relationships that are derived from patriarchal society. Or women who struggle with making friends because they find it difficult to deal with the prevalence of social aggression in female friendships (particularly autistic women). Some also tend to overgeneralize their (reasonable) fear of what dangers men pose to them into avoidance of men, even when they want to be in a relationship. Some struggle with the attractiveness expectations towards women, either by failing to meet them and having the body image/self-esteem consequences, or by succeeding and then finding it difficult to navigate the consequent objectification by men (and women) in their lives.

In men, I've seen problems related to loneliness (lack of meaningful friendships), difficulties/disinterest in expressing emotions (to friends/partner), callousness in romantic relationships and views of women (likely encouraged by the manosphere internet), and fears of being a burden on society and their families (often reinforced by their wives or girlfriends' pressure on them). Some men's overgeneralized negative views of women (e.g., "they're too stupid/materialistic/shallow") lead to their problems in relationships across their families, friends, and partner."

15. Women get PTSD more often

"As a therapist, I also agree with this. At the end of the day, there were no inherent differences between genders in terms of the issues they were working on or how they approached therapy. The only slightly gender-skewed pattern I've noticed was in the frequency of PTSD diagnosis/symptomatology (more women). Differences between individuals that I've personally observed were more often related to other demographics than gender (such as cultural background for symptom presentation/approach to therapy: and age for the approach to therapy/therapeutic relationship part)."

From Your Site Articles
mental health
HealthMental Health
Popular

Why do we eat chicken eggs, duck eggs, and quail eggs, but not turkey eggs?

They're perfectly edible and apparently quite tasty, but you never see them on a menu.

Photo credit: Canva

Have you ever eaten a turkey egg?

When we talk about eating eggs in the U.S., we're almost always talking about chicken eggs. Occasionally, we might see duck eggs or quail eggs on the menu in a gourmet restaurant, and even more rarely something exotic like an emu egg. But do we ever see turkey eggs being served? Nope, never. (At least I never have, nor has anyone I've asked about this.)

Considering how many turkeys are raised domestically in the U.S. (around 220 million) and how many wild turkeys roam among us (around 7 million), you'd think we'd make better use of their eggs. They are egg-laying birds, after all, and since turkey meat is so similar to chicken meat, it seems logical that turkey eggs would be similar to chicken eggs, right?

 turkey eggs, eating eggs, chicken eggs, egg production Turkey eggs are larger than chicken eggs with a thicker shell.Photo credit: Canva

Right. Basically, that's true. Turkey eggs are larger than chicken eggs and they have a stronger shell, but from what people say, they're similar to eating chicken eggs only a little richer. Larger and richer, and yet we don't eat them on the regular? Why the heck not?

 babbel, language, learning a language, deals, sales A person uses the Babbel appBabbel


Babbel’s Biggest Sale of the Year: Get 67% off. Lifetime Subscriptions For $199


The Self-Sufficient Backyard YouTube channel explains the whole thing in a video that's been viewed by nearly 4 million people. Clearly, this is a burning question for people once it's brought to their attention.

  - YouTube  youtube.com  

Basically, what it boils down to is that their size makes them hard to handle, package, and store. Turkeys also aren't nearly as prolific as chickens. (Chickens lay eggs around once per day, while turkeys lay at most twice per week.) It's also more expensive to raise turkeys than chickens, so the price of a turkey egg is prohibitive, at around $3 per egg. Considering how everyone lost their minds over chicken eggs at $6 a dozen, it's unlikely people would pay $36 for a dozen turkey eggs.

However, some people who have eaten turkey eggs shared their thoughts on how they taste, and now people (me, I am people) really want to try them:

"I have eaten turkey eggs for years. They are larger shells are thicker but they taste wonderful."

"I've baked with Turkey eggs and they made the best pancakes I have EVER tasted."

"They taste like chicken eggs, I have turkeys. They only lay seasonally, generally starting in March, and they’ll continue to lay through June-August. They can lay 60ish eggs a year. They’re about 2x the volume of a chicken egg. They make excellent omelettes. Harder to crack, with a thicker membrane and shell."

 turkey eggs, wine, eating turkey eggs Turkey eggs on the menu.Photo credit: Canva

"Growing up, my family had a turkey! She laid eggs and we were always enamored by how huge they were. They taste wonderful!"

"We had turkeys with our chickens. They laid eggs daily with the chickens from March to September then would stop while the chickens would just slow down. I was surprised because I thought they would just lay a clutch once or twice because that’s what the wild turkeys do but nope. The only down fall we found was that cracking them was difficult. But if you use a butter knife to give it a whack at the top it works pretty well. It was like getting two egg whites and one yolk in chicken egg ratio lol."

"Taste exactly like chicken eggs. Way bigger. The only difference is the shell is way tougher to crack. So good."

Apparently experience with turkeys and turkey eggs is not uncommon? City folks, take note:

"I was raised on turkey's eggs... I come in from a part of Canada where we are raising turkeys. In Valcartier, turkey eggs used to be much cheaper than any other kind of eggs."

"Growing up on a farm being born in the 50s in western North Carolina we ate lots of turkey eggs. We usually had a dozen or so hen turkeys so we had quite a few to spare."

 turkeys, wild turkeys, turkey eggs Turkeys live all over the U.S.  Giphy/Minnesota State University Moorhead 

"My inlaws usually give us turkey eggs for the holidays. They have a big farm in Virginia with all sorts of animals. They usually just sell their eggs at the local market and give us the rest lol."

"The wild turkeys that live in my area used to get in my bird feeders when I had a house. One day I found an egg in the yard, possibly as payment lol."

"I've got a turkey for a pet. Her name is "Sweetpea" and I keep her around for no other reason except that she's awesome and provides good conversation. Every now and then during the warm months of the year she leaves me breakfast somewhere around the yard."

And then, just for funsies, there's this little anecdote about those "technically edible" emu eggs:

"Back in elementary school we had a teacher that raised Emus. She would always make delicious cakes but would tell no one how she made them. Eventually she told my mother the reasons she told no one was because she was afraid that people would stop eating them if they found out that she was using one emu egg for every three chicken eggs. We didn’t care."

There you go. Answering a question you may never have asked but desperately needed and answer to once you thought about it.

This article originally appeared in May.

From Your Site Articles
food
Community

"We need help": Real mailman shares his huge paycheck to help recruit more postal workers

The big number came as a huge surprise to viewers.

Photo credit: Canva
Mailman reveals his massive paycheck to recruit others

People often overlook the "people in our neighborhood" as Mister Rogers would call them. Their presence is so common that we don't always notice them until they're gone for a day or two. These are people like school bus drivers, sanitation workers, delivery drivers, and postal workers. Of course people know they exist and that they're there to do a job but because their presence is sort of in the background of daily life we may not give their jobs much thought.

There's the thought that "someone has to do it" when it comes to the service they provide but sometimes that "someone" is you. Or at least it could be you, especially after hearing how much one of those jobs pays. It's a common misconception that work like sanitation or postal service is menial and low paying, but the truth is that this essential work can be quite lucrative in the right circumstances.

A mailman that works for the U.S. Postal Service decided to share his paycheck with social media in an attempt to help the post office recruit more mail carriers.

The post office continues to have a shortage in mail carriers in certain areas, especially in rural settings. This shortage causes delays in receiving mail and longer hours for current mail carriers. While the post office has been working to fill in the gaps by doing more hiring, it still isn't enough with the large number of USPS workers that are nearing retirement. It seems to be a constant struggle to keep an adequate amount of mail carriers throughout the areas that need them most.

 mailman paycheck, mail carriers pay, job market, job hunting, mailman shares check, pay transparency, jobs, economy The pay is good and you get to drive this sweet truck around!  Photo by Joel Moysuh on Unsplash  

One of the barriers to people applying to the Postal Service may be that they don't know they're hiring since some people may see mail carriers as background characters.

Another concern may be that people are not sure if they can make a livable wage working for the post office, but that's where Lukas' video can help fill in the blanks.

In response to viewers not believing he actually made six figures, the Missouri mailman and TikTok creator shares a screenshot of his paycheck showing he brings home $4,423.09 every other week, which averages out to just over $100K a year.

Being fully transparent, Lukas shares that his paycheck includes 23 hours of overtime due to the extra hours he has to work from being short staffed.

 mailman paycheck, mail carriers pay, job market, job hunting, mailman shares check, pay transparency, jobs, economy Nothing warms the heart more than a mail carrier being truly embraced by their community.  Giphy  

"On one of my previous videos somebody said, 'prove it' on one of my checks, so here's one of my last checks. As you can see, the overtime hours, plus my normal pay all equals up to $4,423...so, and that's for two weeks of work. I'm working too much but if you were to multiply that by 26 weeks that's over $100,000. We need help and the post office pays well," he says.

Lukas reiterates throughout his video that the post office is hiring and they need help desperately but the comments were mixed on if working at the post office was a good move.

@lukasthegiant

We're Hiring and Yes, We Pay Well. In some cases, over 100k!#greenscreen #werehiring #paidwell #tallestmailman #needhelp #getpaid #100k #usps #apply

"I mean he’s technically making 25.00 hourly and $38 for each hour of OT. You’re forgetting the minimum wage in majority of states is 7.25," one person writes.

"Post office is recession safe. Been there 30 years," another commenter shares.

Someone else chimes in, "been working at the post office for 5 years just made regular. it is not easy when you start but once you know how to do it it's a BREEZE."

 mailman paycheck, mail carriers pay, job market, job hunting, mailman shares check, pay transparency, jobs, economy US Mail is not for sale, says the postal workers union.  Photo by Ethan Hoover on Unsplash  

A former postal worker reveals, "I worked there 6 years and had no life. Worked 12 + hrs for 7 days a week. I wasted most of my 20s working. NO THANK YOU!!!!, before adding. "When I started years ago it was $15 an hr when I left it was $25."

To be fair, while Lukas is doing well for himself (and working quite hard for the money), a lot of the mail carrier shortages are being caused in part by wages that don't cover the cost of living in certain areas. So there's definitely room for improvement, and the American Postal Workers Union is fighting for higher pay and better hours all the time.

Did you know that the postal service is a staggering 250 years old? For a good chunk of the last several of those years, politicians and corporations have been obsessed with the idea of privatizing the whole operation and siphoning as much profit out of it as possible.

Just imagine how many billions of dollars private companies could make by charging way higher prices for shipping! The idea may be salivating to investors and billionaires, but not to regular folks who just want to be able to affordably and reliably mail letters and packages.

The American Postal Workers Union has been actively and aggressively fighting against this potentially catastrophic change. Not only would it hurt regular Americans, but mail carriers like Lukas who have carved out a solid and honest career doing essential community work.

The post office seems to be much like any other job. Some people have a great experience working there while others do not, but if someone is looking for a chance at a new career that offers retirement benefits, it sounds like USPS could be a place to land.

This article originally appeared in January. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles
mailman
CommunityJoy
Modern Families

Millennials share their boomer parents’ 15 odd (and hilarious) habits they just don't get

Secretly, they are the most smartphone-addicted generation.

via Canva/Photos

Boomer parents and grandparents sure do have some interesting habits.

When it comes to intergenerational conflict, you never hear too much about Gen Z having a hard time with Generation X or the silent generation having beef with the baby boomers. However, there seems to be some problem where baby boomers and millennials just can’t get on the same page.

Maybe it’s because millennials were raised during the technological revolution and have to help their boomer parents log into Netflix, while the grandparents get frustrated when their adult children don't know how to do basic homemaking and maintenance tasks. There’s also a political divide: Millennials are a reliable liberal voting bloc, whereas boomers are the target demographic for Fox News. Both generations also have differing views on parenting, with boomers favoring an authoritative style over the millennials' gentler approach, which leads to a ton of conflict within families.

A Redditor recently asked Xennials, older millennials, and younger Gen Xers born between 1977 and 1983 to share some quirks of their boomer parents, and they created a fun list of habits that can be both endearing and frustrating.

The users shared that millennials are frustrated with their parents' abilities to use technology but are touched when they send them a greeting card.

 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor Baby boomers are a fascinating and endearing group.  Giphy  

Of course, it is reductive to reduce generations into a series of stereotypes, whether it’s millennials or baby boomers. But, for many, hearing that they aren’t the only person who gets frustrated with their boomer parents can be pretty cathartic and make them feel less alone.

Here are 15 boomer parent quirks that Millennials just don’t understand.

1. They save everything

"They save EVERYTHING (containers, jars, boxes, etc.) just in case they might be able to use it for something later. I feel like this habit was handed down from our grandparents' Great Depression upbringing."

"Absolutely! Shopping bags, empty yogurt containers, boxes that some product came in…..although I love me a 'good box!' I have all my iPhone boxes for no reason."

You know the old saying: Is she really a grandma if she doesn't rinse out used plastic baggies to save for later?


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor An average boomer's basement.  Photo by Tania Melnyczuk on Unsplash  

2. Scary texts

"Will text something foreboding like 'we need to talk;' then turns out she forgot a recipe."

"My dad will text me 'You need to call me right now' when it’s nothing. And not tell me major life events until well after the fact. Like my aunt had a heart attack and I found out a week later from her son. (And my dad did know.)"

It's true, generations have been battling over tone and punctuation in texts for years.


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor They love to scare their adult children with dramatic texts.  Giphy  

3. Stranger death toll

"My mom is ALWAYS telling me about dead people I’ve never met. I really do not care. I know that sounds awful, but I don’t have it in me to be sad for everyone on the planet when they pass."

“You remember my friend Carol? Her aunt had that above-ground swimming pool in her backyard. We swam in it a couple times one summer when you were about 9. Anyway, Carol’s mom just lost her brother-in-law. They were very close. Thought you’d want to know.”


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor Boomers love to talk about random people who have died, and large-scale tragedies.  Giphy  

4. They don't travel

"They act jealous of us traveling but refuse to go anywhere."

"Ooh good one. Mine act jealous of anything we do/buy that they can't solely because they can't get out of their own way and actually make things happen."

And, in general, they have more money and time to make it happen! But they often insist on being homebodies, to their own chagrin.


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor Boomers love staying at home for no good reason.  Giphy  

5. They print everything

"My Boomer FIL prints out EVERYTHING from his computer. I understand printing out instructions or recipes to help remember but do you really need a file cabinet full of forwarded emails from friends and sale adverts from 5 years ago? Oh well, at least he keeps it organized. Also, both TVs in the house run 24/7 playing reruns of 'CSI: Who Gives a Sh*t Anymore?'"

"I'm not on Facebook, but my dad is. Last year, he made a celebratory post on my birthday and all his church friends liked and commented on it. He printed up the post and all of the comments, stapled it into a little book, and MAILED me the printed Facebook comments..."


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor If it can't be held in their hand, they don't trust it.  Giphy  

6. 'From, dad' texts

"My dad sends text messages with, 'From, Dad' at the end of them. It cracks me up every time. He also states who he is every time he calls me."

This has to be one of the more endearing things the boomers do. Please never stop.

7. Irrational fears

"One quirk my dad had was that he was deathly afraid of the house burning down. Not from the standpoint of the danger of fire but when he was growing up, if your house burnt down, you were basically homeless and destitute. My mom is much more level headed about it. She always told my dad, that is why we have homeowners insurance."

8. Expired food

"My mother-in-law doesn't throw out expired food. She has food in her pantry that is several years past their expiration dates. Same with condiments in her fridge. You just can't trust any of the food she has on hand because more than likely than not it's way expired. When we have brought this up, that she needs to throw some stuff out, she insists it's absolutely fine. It's not. "

"My grandmother is the same way. Once, she opened her refrigerator, and there was a jar of pickles with mold floating on the surface of the liquid. I pointed it out, and she said it was still good. She would just scoop the mold out at a later time. She has an incredibly strong stomach and immune system."

They also love to stock up on and freeze certain staples, even milk.


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor They'll keep food for way, way too long.  Giphy  

9. Smartphone addiction

"You always hear a kids 'these kids always on their damn phones.' But when it comes to phone addiction, boomers are far worse."

"My mom drives five hours to see us, then spends the whole time texting people from her church or looking at Facebook."

"I once sat in their living room for over an hour before they decided to put their phones down and speak to me, only to phub me and pick them right back up."

It's not the Gen Alpha kids keeping Bejewled in business!

10. Rigid gender roles

"My dad still clings to the traditional division of 'men's/women's work.' He'll fix a car, do any outside work, clean out a clogged drain. Cooking? If it's any more complicated than making coffee or calling in a pizza, he can't/won't. I don't think he even grills anymore. Laundry? Hell no. Taking care of small children? He'll play with them but that's it."


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor They still hold onto outdated gender stereotypes.  Photo by Frankie Cordoba on Unsplash  

11. The TV is constantly on

"In-laws leave the TV on for all waking hours. And FIL gets irritated if someone talks over the episode of MASH or Walker, Texas Ranger, that he's already seen 50 times. Like clenching his teeth and stomping the floor."

"TV on 24/7. Constantly flipping between some version of Law and Order, HGTV, and Guy Fieri. Asking me 'did you see that commercial where…' No mom. I don’t have cable. I don’t see commercials. All of the time."


 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor This is the generation that invented TV as background noise.  Giphy  

12. They are always right

"My dad...he's has to be right about everything and doesn't know what to do if you beat him to the point on something. He once was giving me a recipe that required cinnamon, cardamon, and clove and told me just to use Pumpkin Pie Spice! It's the greatest thing! 'Dad, I don't need to. I have all those spices on hand (I bake)' But...no! You have to use this. 'No, I don't. I don't need to buy something that I already have" It happens all the time."

"My parents are always right and they are not impressed about anything."

13. Obsessed with the weather

"Yes, my dad should have been a meteorologist. He used to have a weather alert radio that would sound off in the middle of the night and he would watch the weather channel constantly. We all had to quiet down when your local weather forecast on the 8's came on. He gets really excited about severe weather like when we might get thunderstorms or a tornado."

There's nothing quite like the thrill a boomer gets from relentlessly tracking every movement of an oncoming storm that will probably amount to some rain and little else.

 boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor They love intensely tracking a thunderstorm via The Weather Channel  Giphy  

14. One more thing

"Without fail, every time I'm leaving my mother's house and backing down the driveway, she comes back out of her house and stops me to say something else, even though we'd just spoken."

15. Mail stress

"My mom has an anxiety attack during the entire journey of a package or piece of mail she dispatched to me. No, she doesn’t know how to track. She will not rest until she knows that a package has arrived or a nominal check has been cashed. She calls when she is thinking about sending something, when she sent it, when it’s en route, and when it’s expected to arrive. God forbid it’s late. And if I don’t issue a prompt thank you, she will guilt me."

It all makes you wonder what new conflicts will pop up when the millennials become grandparents, and the Gen Z and Gen Alpha kids are the ones doing the griping. Probably that millennials will continue to insist on Googling things when traditional search engines have long been replaced, or that the 90s and 2000s kids will never stop listening to Lil Jon-era hip hop, no matter how old they get and how inappropriate it becomes.

Guess we'll see. Stay tuned!

This story originally appeared in January. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles
boomers
Modern FamiliesFamily
Community

17 life hacks that are 'so good' people almost didn't want to share. But thankfully, they did.

Some tricks for winning arguments, stopping Karens, and finding your car keys.

via Canva/Photo

A man and woman flirting at a party.

Have you ever had a secret trick that you didn’t want to share with anyone? Some families have recipes they are sworn never to share with outsiders. Other folks have tricks they use at work that give them a competitive advantage that could be used against them if they let it out of the bag. Other people use secret techniques to be likable but fear being seen as manipulative if they share them.

Everyone has their own “secret sauce” that makes them unique. A couple hundred of them were very kind and shared those secret life hacks on a recent social media post where someone asked, “What’s a life hack so good you almost don’t want to share it?” They received over 3500 responses, and we culled the best from them to make our readers’ lives easier.

The advice covers everything from how to win an argument to finding precious metals at your local second-hand store. The life hacks that are “so good” also include ways to prevent potentially aggravating people from getting in your face and the power of learning how to smile.

 life hack, kid, nickelodeon, show, tips, tricks, gif Helping You Got It GIF by Nickelodeon  Giphy  

Here are 17 life hacks that are “so good” people almost didn’t want to share them. (Thankfully, they did.)

1. That's where it goes

"If you look for something and it's not in the first place you look, THAT IS THE PLACE WHERE IT GOES. So when you find it, put it in the first place you looked for it."

2. How to argue (from a lawyer)

"When arguing about something, ask what their interests ('why' they want/don’t want something) are rather than their position. Usually, it’s easier to come to an agreement if you approach a conflict from this angle. Also, conceding a minor point during the argument 'you’re right about x' and 'I don’t disagree with y' tends to lessen the guard of your opposition and thus making it easier to get what you want out of them."

"I just saw something similar to this. If you and another person are arguing over who gets a lemon, you’ll eventually agree to just cut it in half. But if you ask why they want the lemon, you’ll find out one person wants to juice it and one person wants the skin for zest for a recipe, so each party can have 100% of what they want if they just take the time to see the 'why' of the other person."

"Whenever arguing with someone and it's going round and round trying to come up with a compromise, ask 'what does a solution look like to you?' Half the time they got no clue the other half is something you willing to compromise. It has cut down every single argument in my relationship."

 argue, argument, arguing, sesame street, advice, lawyers Argue Sesame Street GIF  Giphy  

 


3. How to stop a 'Karen' in their tracks

"I work as a receptionist, and my supervisor always asks me how our guests like me even if they are rude to other staff. My trick is when someone is checking in that looks like a typical Karen I always give them a compliment like 'where did you get your nails done? They are so pretty!' It usually works."

"I used be in maintenance for a huge school district. Whenever I was sent to a school where the office staff had a reputation for being cranky complainy crabby pants, I had a whole song and dance I'd run through when I got there. I'd walk into the office with a big smile, acting like the nicest person in the world, just a big dumb puppy who has no idea this is a "crabby admin" school. Then, when the timing is right, I'd let slip the casual comment of 'I really like coming to this school, everyone is so nice!' It's like a magic spell. The grumpuses always tried to live up to my unrealistic view of them, and were always at least reasonable, if not downright pleasant. It always felt like cheating, but really all I was doing was setting an example they wanted to follow."

4. Buy the same socks

"Find a pair of socks you really like. Buy like.... 40 pairs. Throw out your other socks. Now you can just grab any two socks and have a pair. Get a hole in one? Throw it out. You still have tons of others of the same."


 socks, life hack, advice, clothes, ease Socks GIF  Giphy  

5. The 3 hobbies rules

"I was thinking about what I need to be happy, and came to the conclusion that I need 3 hobbies: one creative, one physical, and one social. For social, I do board game nights weekly. This ensures I have something planned for the week to look forward to. For physical, I go to the gym, which, to be honest, I hate and have always hated, so I took up bouldering too. This is a great hobby because it can also be very social, and it's also just fun. And for creative, I dabble in things like drawing, knitting, and other needlework. I also throw in reading here too, because it can make you think and imagine. If you play D&D, this can also combine with social. I've been extremely happy since figuring out for myself. I've always had a list of hobbies I want to try, but this helps me organize them."

6. Learn how to smile

"A genuine looking— and I say looking because it doesn’t need to actually be genuine, smile. It will disarm people making them more comfortable around you, you’ll be more likely to get dates, you’ll be more likely to get jobs, you’ll be more likely to make friends, your dating profile will look better, your wedding pics will look better, hell your social media will look better. Learn how to smile. Look it up on YouTube."


 smile, smiling, kind, happy, inviting Marvel Studios Smile GIF by Disney+  Giphy  

7. The bathroom test

"Being in the restaurant business for over 20 years now, if you go into a restaurant and their bathrooms are dirty, then get out of there. It means most likely, of course, not always, that their kitchen is just as dirty. If the general manager doesn’t care about what the guests can see, he’s definitely not caring about what the guest can’t see and that gets you such a higher chance of food poisoning."

8. Wake up a little earlier

"Getting up consistently to start your day at a reasonable hour - regardless of intent to go anywhere or do anything - really does give you extra time in the week to get sh*t done."

 wake up, bed, morning, routine, early Season 8 Dreaming GIF by SpongeBob SquarePants  Giphy  

9. How to make someone like you

"To get someone to like you, ask them two questions, then after the second one, validate their response. Repeat. That's it. It's alarmingly effective. Just ask them any question about something they seem like they might want to talk about. hobbies or job or whatever. if you dont know anything about them, ask about the best place they've traveled, or would like to go if they haven't traveled. then, whatever they say, just ask a follow-up question about it. Then whatever they say to that, just say something positive that supports their opinion. it can be as simple as 'that seems really cool' or something more specific that shows you've been listening and agree/support them."

10. Visualize your life

"Ask yourself what your ideal happy life would look like, and then isolate each aspect as an objective to work towards, always breaking down larger goals into smaller doable steps. Makes things seem less daunting and gives you feasable objectives to work towards."

 visualize, manifest, goals, vision, life hack Think I Can See It Now GIF by UFC  Giphy  

11. Know the goal of the conversation

"Before entering any difficult conversation, conflict, apology, request, etc, you should know what your goal of the conversation for yourself is. What do you want the outcome to be? How do you want this interaction to end? How do you want both parties to be left feeling? Know this first, then practice running both sides in your head a few times. Crucially, this prepares you direct the conversation for the outcome you want, instead of just saying what you really want say. Know your goal, and you’re way more likely to reach it."

12. Thrift store jewelry

"Second-hand shops—check the jewelry because, funnily enough, the volunteers working there probably don't know much about gold. I make a fair good chunk of cash a year going through jewelry at thrift stores."

13. Bake bacon

"Piece of parchment paper over any type of pan. Bam, no mess. People boiling it in skillets on the stove are living in the stone age."

 bacon, food, breakfast, eating, cooking, baking Food Meat GIF  Giphy  

14. How to talk to new people

"When the conversation starts to die or needs a pick me up, ask what the people around you did that day. It sounds really simple, but not a lot of people get asked this question regularly, so it’s likely you’ll get a genuine answer and make the person feel like you’re interested and invested. This is my hack for work events, family you haven’t seen in ages, or a friend of a friend you just met and your mutual friend just left you two alone. I think it’s safe to assume it would be a good icebreaker on a first date as well."

15. Self-control through pain

"The only thing in control of your mind and body is you. Go stand out in the rain and fight the instinct to flee inside. Find your zen. Overcome your base instincts and then figure out how to apply them to the rest of your life. Hunger, anxiety, self-esteem issues, etc, all things to overcome, master, and control."

16. Easy investment

"Invest (a portion of ) every paycheck into an S&P 500 index fund. It’s easy, the fees are incredibly low (nobody seems to understand mutual funds that are not index charge a fee! and if you do it consistently you will end up with money. Proven through depressions, recessions, and large-scale wars. That is all."

17. Know their name

"When a customer service person (finally) answers the phone and says 'my name is [NAME], [something something] how can I help you?' I make a note of their name and say, "Hi [NAME], how's it going/how are you doing?" in a friendly, conversational tone before introducing myself & my issue. Customer service is a soulless job and involves dealing with a lot of belligerent people, so setting the tone and establishing a rapport by mentioning their names makes it a little more personal and tends to lead to better outcomes. Can probably expand this to all interactions, tbh."

 name, personal, intentional, life hack, gif Horrible Bosses Reaction GIF  Giphy  

This article originally appeared in January.

From Your Site Articles
life hacks
CommunityJoy
Culture

Woman celebrates landing Costco job after 3-month search and haters quickly get corrected

Costco is not "just another retail job."

Photo credit: Canva

Mean-spirited internet users quickly find out working at Costco is nothing to mock.

As the adage goes, there's an exception to every rule, and the exception to the rule of retail employment being a hellscape of low pay and high turnover is the warehouse giant Costco. Costco is beloved by its customers (hello, suburban parents and anyone else who likes to buy protein bars 400 at a time) for fair prices and really good quality products. Its Kirkland brand products are almost always the best things on the shelf, and when you're done shopping, you can grab a jumbo hot dog and a large soda for what seems like a criminally low price. In fact, one of the chain's cofounders once threatened the then-CEO with severe bodily harm should he ever raise the food court prices. And Costco never has.

It seems not everyone is aware of Costco's reputation as an employer, though, since a woman sharing her triumph at landing a job there was initially met with surprising derision on social media. But the critics were quickly corrected by both Costco employees and people familiar with the company's employment practices, launching a celebration of Costco as a responsible business that takes care of its employees.

A woman named Doreau shared a selfie from her car holding up her Costco employee badge with a caption that read, "After almost 3 months. I'm officially hired."

Whether she'd been searching for a job in general for 3 months or had been in the hiring process with Costco for that long isn't clear, but her smile and triumph emoji indicated that she was proud of the accomplishment.


 

Not everyone was so enthusiastic, though, in what appears to be a misunderstanding by some about what it means to work at Costco.

Some commenters mocked the woman, indicating that working at Costco was nothing to boast about, as if it's just another retail job. As one example, someone wrote, "Who tf spends 3 months chasing a job at Costco."

First of all, anyone who's been in the bowels of a modern job hunt knows that landing any kind of stable employment in 2025 should be considered a major win. But at Costco? You could throw a damn parade and still not be considered too excited.

People in the know shut the haters down immediately.

"They must not know that Costco’s employee turnover rate…She hit a lick on that one!!"

"Costco pays their employees INCREDIBLY well and has benefits unlike any other grocer. I’m so happy for her!!!"

"Man i’ve been trying to get a job at costco for sooo long i know somebody who works at the door checking receipts and makes $25/hour"

"The best employee benefits, satisfaction, retention and upwards mobility in American retail. God bless her."

"My guy has been at Costco for 20yrs, makes 6 figures and has almost 1M in his 401k. No stress at work, tons of PTO, and has a wonderful work/life balance. Y'all still struggling with basic life stuff."

"People don’t leave Costco when they find employment there. It’s getting your foot in the door that’s the hard part. Good for her."


 

Reposts with hundreds of thousands of likes showed that she had every right to be proud of landing that Costco badge, especially in an economy where people seem to be having a hard time finding jobs despite low unemployment rates.

Months later, her posts indicate she's still working there, which says a lot. Once hired, people tend to stay with Costco for a long time because — again — it's a great place to work!


 

What makes Costco a great place to work?

Of course, you can find people who will complain about any job, but the numbers at Costco speak for themselves. According data cited in the Harvard Business Review, Costco's turnover rate—the percentage of employees that leave—is only 8%, a notably small fraction of the retail industry average rate of 60%.

There's a reason for that extraordinary statistic—several of them, in fact.

Costco prioritizes paying employees well—including good benefits

According to an Ethics Unwrapped case study, Costco pay tends to be around 40% more than Walmart and Target and the company provides more comprehensive health and retirement benefits as well. Part of what enables them to do that is the money they save with their low turnover rate, as it costs a lot to hire and train new employees.

Costco cofounder Jim Sinegal rejected the idea that a company had to either take care of its shareholders or its workers, calling that "a false choice."

"It's really pretty simple. It's good business," Sinegal said in 2009. "When you hire good people, and you provide good jobs and good wages and a career, good things are going to happen."

It truly is that simple. Costco's philosophy hasn't changed since Sinegal's retirement in 2012; it's all about the reciprocal care between employee and employer: "Costco’s success depends on the well-being of employees within all areas of our business. Our operational practices, benefits, and paid time-off policies acknowledge and reward employees for their continued contribution to our culture and success."

According to Investopedia, Costco's average wage is over $30 per hour, around $5.50 per hour higher than the national retail average. Its minimum wage is $19.50/hr.

 costco, jobs, employment, retail, retail workers, paycheck, hired, job hunt, economy, business, money, living wage Costco is known in the retail world\u00a0for its excellent pay and benefits.  Curlyrnd/Wikimedia Commons  

Costco provides lots of opportunity for advancement

Look no further than Costco's new CEO, Ron Vachris, for proof of Costco's internal promotion philosophy. Vachris began as a forklift driver at Costco as a teenager (technically when it was known as Price Club, before it became Costco). Now, at 58, he runs the whole company.

He's an extreme example, but Costco has purposefully opportunity baked into its employment model, encouraging employees "to view Costco as a place for a long-term career rather than just a job." As the company website states:

"When it comes to employee development, our goals are to:

● Provide all employees with training, education and opportunities for career development and advancement.

● Ensure there is fair access and resources to help employees succeed.

● Encourage leaders to continue to teach and mentor employees, so that employees will be prepared for opportunities and greater responsibility.

● Encourage employees to take advantage of opportunities for development and advancement."

From the stories people tell of moving up the ranks in their Costco careers, that's not just lip service. Doreau herself, depending on whether she's working full-time or part-time, is likely already in line for a raise — sticking it even further to her doubters.

Costco has a well-earned reputation as an ethical company

Costco is often held up as an ethical example of capitalism in the way it treats the people it employs, serves, and works with. Internally, the company abides by a 4-rule code of ethics, which seems remarkably simple on the surface:

1. Obey the law.

2. Take care of our members.

3. Take care of our employees.

4. Respect our suppliers.

But when you dig into what each of those rules entails in the company's Mission Statement and Code of Ethics, it's easy to see why it works. "At the core of our philosophy as a company is the implicit understanding that all of us, employees and management alike, must conduct ourselves in an honest and ethical manner every day," the document reads. "Dishonest conduct will not be tolerated. To do any less would be unfair to the overwhelming majority of our employees who support and respect Costco’s commitment to ethical business conduct… If you are ever in doubt as to what course of action to take on a business matter that is open to varying ethical interpretations, TAKE THE HIGH ROAD AND DO WHAT IS RIGHT."

Well, that's quite clear. Costco demonstrated its own commitment to its own ethics when it resisted pressure to abandon its DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) initiatives in late 2024, saying, "Our commitment to an enterprise rooted in respect and inclusion is appropriate and necessary."

 

Perhaps most importantly, Costco emphasizes that abiding by this code of ethics is what enables shareholders to be rewarded, and at this point, they've proven that to be true. A good business practicing good ethics ultimately leads to good results—it really does seem to be that simple.

All that to say, next time you visit Costco, don't for a second think the employees are toiling away in a retail job they hate. No company is perfect, but overall this warehouse giant is considered one of the best places in the country to be employed. And that is why Doreau was so excited to celebrate.

This article originally appeared in January. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles
costco
CultureJoy
Trending Stories