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Love Stories

Tinder is adding a new height filter. Fed up users have some creative ideas for the next one.

Sarcastic dating app users say: "Why stop there?"

tinder, dating apps, dating, love, relationships, sex, hookups, bumble, hinge, match, dating tips, online dating
Canva Photos

No one seems particularly happy about Tinder's new filter, for many different reasons.

Can we agree that no one really "likes" using dating apps? It's just that there aren't many better options anymore, and that's saying something because dating apps truly don't work very well.

A recent survey showed that about eight percent of people met their current or most recent partner on a dating app or website. That's...a pretty low number, considering these apps have been extremely popular and mainstream for well over a decade. Why aren't they more effective? Well, apps encourage people to look for stimulation and validation rather than real connection. They encourage shallow behaviors and preferences, and they make it easy to ghost and go find someone new at the drop of a hat—or just because you're suddenly not feeling the vibe.

All signs currently point to the problem, and dating apps in general, getting worse rather than better. And the excruciating "women only like tall men!" discourse will never recover from the latest development.

Tinder, widely considered the most popular dating app in the United States, recently added a new and controversial premium feature for some paying users. They'll now be able to filter out potential matches by height.

If you're a paid user with access to the setting in your profile, you'll be able to set a maximum and minimum height for people you'd like to match with.

tinder, dating apps, dating, love, relationships, sex, hookups, bumble, hinge, match, dating tips, online datingTinder is the top dating app in the United States. Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

Tinder actually isn't the first app to try this. Bumble previously had height filtering as a premium option before eventually removing the feature (though there's still an open spot in your profile to list it). Hinge has a height option as well. And now, Tinder. It's all part of Tinder's new rebrand to be taken more seriously as a way for Gen Z users to find real connection and relationships, as younger generations are less drawn to hook-ups. They're calling it a "broader effort to help people connect more intentionally on Tinder."

(To be fair, the height setting is not a hard filter. It's just a strong suggestion that helps guide the algorithm. It's also, for now, just a test and not a permanent feature.)

The trouble is that height seems to be the only physical attribute you can filter by, which plays into some really nasty stereotypes about heightism and online dating. But hey, preferences are preferences. Luckily, the announcement sparked a firestorm of interest and debate about the new feature—and dating app users have lots of ideas for new filters they'd like to see in the near future.

Weight filter

Yes, this is the obvious joke suggestion that's been made all over the Internet in response to Tinder's news. But it's kind of fair. Who gets to decide which physical preferences are offensive and which are legitimate?

Salary/Net income filter

It's perfectly reasonable to want a partner with a stable career. But do we really care about the actual career or do we just want to make sure they make enough money? Honestly. Some users would like to see a salary slider in the settings to weed out anyone who can't match their lifestyle, or who might get weird about splitting the bill on the first date.

Hair and eye color filter

You might prefer a partner with dark hair, and that might show up in your swiping preferences. But why bother swiping when you could essentially just erase light-haired people from your entire world with a filter? After all, what really matters is efficiency and saving everyone time.

Cup size / penis size filter

OK, look, I didn't say it, but this one has come up on all the dating app subreddits many, many times. Sometimes in jest, sometimes not...

Abs filter

It's not enough to be able to see whether someone has abs or not in their photos. To save everyone time and maximize efficiency, we should just auto-filter them out if they don't have a six-pack. Or, conversely, if you're not down with eating chicken and broccoli for every meal, you can filter the gym-heads out from the get-go.

Fishing/hunting filter

Women on social media have been clamoring for this one for a while, and would surely pay top dollar. We've got AI technology now; there's no reason we can't tell that a guy is holding a fish or a severed deer head in his photo and promptly remove him from the queue. The filter can work overtime for if someone's holding a gun.

Conversely, you might be really into these things, and the filter could end up working in your favor, too.

tinder, dating apps, dating, love, relationships, sex, hookups, bumble, hinge, match, dating tips, online datingA hunting/fishing filter on Tinder: Who says no? Photo by luis arias on Unsplash

Onlyfans filter

Similarly, there's got to be a way to run text analysis on a profile to find out if the person is hawking a paid NSFW profile online somewhere.

Married filter

You'd think this wouldn't be necessary, but here are we. One survey recently found that an astounding 65% of Tinder users were married or in a relationship. Whether they're polyamorous, looking for a third, cheating, or something else... can we auto-scan the photos for a wedding ring or something? Run the names against a marriage license database?

Spelling and grammar filter

There's no reason that Tinder and Bumble couldn't partner with Grammarly and give us a sense of people's reading or literacy level, filtering out anyone who doesn't meet a certain standard.

Old photo / heavily filtered photo filter

Surely, we have the technology for this. If people are misrepresenting the way they look with fancy filters or outdated photos, then premium users should reserve the right to have those people removed from their queue. If the photo was taken with an Olympus digital camera circa 2002, let the filter do its thing!

tinder, dating apps, dating, love, relationships, sex, hookups, bumble, hinge, match, dating tips, online datingSome users want the Tinder algorithm to weed out people with old or heavily filtered photosUnsplash

Some of the new filter ideas are clearly ridiculous. Others might actually be helpful. But put them all together and it paints a pretty bleak picture of modern dating.

Having preferences and likes or dislikes is totally fine, and a natural part of dating. The idea is that you're supposed to find these things out with your eyes or by actually talking to people and learning about them. Being genuinely curious about another human being you find attractive and interesting is part of the process. Skipping that by adding preferential filters that remove more and more people from your orbit is antithetical to what looking for love is supposed to be all about. And maybe that's exactly what Tinder and the other apps (many of whom are owned by the same corporation) are going for.

NPR cleverly points out that we shouldn't forget dating apps are run by for-profit companies. When two people meet on the app, fall in love, and settle down together, the app loses two crucial users. Keeping people frustrated, stuck on the app, and desperate enough to pony up for "premium features" and better filtering is the better move for them—and of course, spotlighting a few happy endings here and there just to give everyone some hope.

"Heightism" definitely exists in the dating world, and especially on apps, but it definitely seems like Tinder is intentionally stoking that fire to boost their paid user base. Now you've got short guys that are hurt and pissed off, and women that are sick of being accused of being shallow for their legitimate preferences, and everyone's angry at everyone else. It's a move that ultimately drives us further apart.

True


Life can be bleak, so we’re going to be celebrating the small joys while we can—whether that’s a sweet snack that boosts your mood (courtesy of our friends at All In), or a tweet so perfectly timed it restores your faith in the algorithm (even if only for a second). These momentary mood boosters are everywhere you look—you just have to be able to find them underneath all the noise. And that’s where we come in.

Consider this weekly web series your cheat sheet to the best of the Internet—not just random memes to make you laugh, but examples of people truly finding something extraordinary in the mundane. Each Friday we'll be delivering five pieces of media that allow you to stop for a second, take a breath, and feel just a little bit brighter among the daily stress. (Think of us as your chronically online bestie who knows exactly how to make you smile, exactly when you need it the most.)

Ready to smile? Here we go.

1. Babies (mis)pronouncing foods 

@gdun

safe to say he likes apples 🤷🏻‍♂️

♬ original sound - gdun

There are few things more precious than a baby learning how to pronounce words (usually incorrectly), and TikTok creator gdun knows it. In a viral, multi-part series, this creator has captured his toddler trying to pronounce the names of different foods, and it’s almost impossible not to smile while you’re watching these. Peas are “peeeth,” pizza is “more this!” and pancakes are simply a terrified “no.” We could listen to these all day.

2. This tiny, lip-syncing diva 

@backyardchickendiaries 🐓🪞✨ #backyardchickens #midwest #fypシ #minnesota #coop #bokbok #eggs #poultry #birds #mybabies #chickens #mealworms #peckingorder #herechickychicky #weekend #treats #bean #millie #girdy #violet #five #australarp #barredrock #cuckoomaran #orpington #lavender #egger #silverlacedwyandotte #trend #viral #blowthisup #chickencrazy #mybabies #cluckcluck #featheredfriends#blowthisup #iwasjustthinkingaboutit #viral #trend #chickencrazy #chickencommunity #homestead #futurefarmer #gardening #sourdough #chickens #polish #followme #views #silkie ♬ original sound - FEEL GOOD SONGS

TikTok is known for creators who lip-sync along to their favorite tunes, but the star of these videos blows them all away. Brace yourselves–he’s a rooster.

You heard that right. TikTok creator backyardchickendiaries has managed to create several videos of his rooster lip-syncing to songs extremely convincingly, the rooster’s actions perfectly coordinated with the inflection of each individual note. The transitions, the close-ups—it’s a verifiable masterpiece. The entire video deserves a watch (and a standing ovation) but skip to 0:57 for the best part.

3. This small (but brilliant) shift in perspective 

This week in Central Park, our friends at All In are asking people “What brought you out here in the park today?” One of the answers they captured has us totally rethinking our perspective on life.

When posed with the question, Jessica Harrison (@howdyjess on Instagram) answered that as she and her friend were sitting and people-watching, they noticed that no matter how interesting or strange or quirky anyone was acting in a given moment, they were ultimately doing “the right thing for them.” This is a fantastic way to view the world, if you ask us—reserving judgement and just assuming that everyone is trying their best. Harrison calls this “aggressive benefit of the doubt,” or ABOD, and says in the video she’s going to “take that reframe and apply it to other areas of my life.” And you know what? Same.

4. David Attenborough's biggest (smallest) fan

Max Evans-Browning and a homemade birthday present for his hero, David Attenborough

ichef.bbci.co.uk

If you’ve ever seen the famous Life documentary series, you’re already familiar with the great David Attenborough—an English biologist who’s worked more than seventy years (70!) creating films that celebrate the natural world. Attenborough has been making documentaries about animals and nature since the early 1950s, and since then he’s used his platform to educate the masses about climate change and other environmental issues, hoping to protect Earth and the species who call it home. Last month, Attenborough turned 99, and to celebrate, fellow nature lover Max Evans-Browning made him a birthday present—an eight-page mural that features 99 of Attenborough’s favorite animals.

Evans-Browning’s mother, Samantha, said in an interview with the BBC that Max not only loves animals, he’s been a fan of Attenborough and his work “from the moment he could talk,” watching his documentaries and even dressing up like him for World Book Day. Max “spent hours” researching Attenborough’s favorite animals and is now hoping his pictures will reach the man himself. No word on whether that’s happened yet, but either way, this has to be the best birthday present he’s ever received.

5. The sacabambaspis is trending again

i.kym-cdn.com

Speaking of animals: this handsome fella is making a reappearance on social media—and, yes, he’s real. Feast your eyes on the sacabambaspis, a jawless, prehistoric fish that looks like a Pokemon and lived more than 450 million years ago.

According to Know Your Meme, the sacabambaspis started becoming widely known in August 2022, when Twitter user Kat Turk posted a picture of a reconstructed model of the fish on display at the Natural History Museum in Helsinki, Finland. The animal’s bizarre appearance not only caused Turk’s tweet to go viral, it also spawned a huge interest among internet users in China and Japan, who immediately started turning the sacabambaspis into merchandise, including stickers, t-shirts, and more. It’s been a meme ever since.

We’re not exactly sure why the sacabambaspis is going viral now, in June 2025, but you know what? We’re here for it.

For even more “extra”-ordinary moments, come find us on social media (@upworthy) or on upworthy.com!

For scrumptious snacks that add an extra boost of joy to your day, be sure to check out All In.

Wellness

We asked people what they enjoy that others don't understand. One answer ruled them all.

Surprisingly, research shows that these people are less likely to be neurotic.

Some people genuinely enjoy spending lots of time alone.

Some people have quirky hobbies and interests that other might find odd, so when we asked our Upworthy audience on Facebook, "What's something that you really enjoy that other people can't seem to understand?" and over 1,700 people weighed in, it wasn't too surprising. Some people shared things like housework, cleaning and laundry, which a lot of people see as chores. Others shared different puzzles or forms of art they like doing, and still others shared things like long car rides or grocery shopping.

But what was surprising was the one answer that dominated the list of responses. It came in various wordings, but by far the most common answer to the question was "silent solitude."

alone time, solitude, being alone, home aloneSweet solitude is heavenly for some people.Photo credit: Canva

Here are a few examples:

"Feeling perfectly content, when I’m all alone."

"Being home. Alone. In silence."

"That I enjoy being alone and my soul is at peace in the silence. I don't need to be around others to feel content, and it takes me days to recharge from being overstimulated after having an eventful day surrounded by others."

"Enjoying your own company. Being alone isn’t isolating oneself. It’s intentional peace and healthy… especially for deep feelers/thinkers."

Spending time by ourselves is something some of us relish, while some of us hate being alone. Naturally, this points to the common theory of introversion vs. extraversion, but in some ways, that's overly simplistic. Even the most peopley people among us can enjoy some quality alone time, and not all introverts see time alone as truly enjoyable. (It might be necessary for an introvert's well-being, but not necessarily something they truly revel in.)

sitting alone, solitude, contemplation, being by yourselfBeing alone doesn't automatically mean being lonely.Photo credit: Canva

Interestingly, studies have found that people who enjoy being alone are not any more or less extraverted than those who don't, though they do tend to be less "sociable." They are also less likely to be neurotic (tense, moody, worrying types) than the generally population and more likely to be open-minded. Those characteristics are the opposite of what social norms often tell us about people who want to be alone.

"If our stereotypes about people who like being alone were true, then we should find that they are neurotic and closed-minded. In fact, just the opposite is true," writes Bella DePaulo, PhD.

being alone, reading, drinking tea, solitudeIt's healthy to be comfortable being alone with yourself.Photo credit: Canva

There may be lots of reasons some people like to spend time by themselves while others don't. We are naturally social creatures and need social interaction, but some of us find ourselves overstimulated by being around other people all the time. On the flip side, some people find being alone not just unenjoyable, but extremely uncomfortable, which can be a problem.

"Ideally, we should be comfortable with ourselves, alone or with others," writes psychologist Tara Well Ph.D.. "If you are uncomfortable being alone, it means you are uncomfortable being with yourself without distraction, engagement, or affirmation from others. This can be a liability in life. If you cannot be alone, you may stay in situations or make life choices that aren’t good for you in the long run, like staying in a job or a relationship, mainly because you can’t tolerate being alone while transitioning to a better situation."

woman dancing alone, enjoying alone timeEnjoying your own company is a gift.Photo credit: Canva

Dr. Well also points out that people can make the most of their alone time, even if it's not something they naturally enjoy. One way is to make it purposeful, setting aside a little time daily to write in a journal, meditate, go for a walk or otherwise engage your mind and body in some form of reflection. Another is to pay attention to self-judgments that might make alone time uncomfortable and challenge them with some compassionate confrontation and counteraction with positive thoughts about yourself.

Alone time can be refreshing and rewarding, especially if it's something you naturally crave. Some people even like to take themselves out on dates or enjoy traveling by themselves. That kind of self-care can be just as important as connecting with others for our overall health and well-being. Being alone doesn't mean being a loner and it doesn't mean being lonely. Some of us genuinely like having quality time with ourselves, whether it makes sense to other people or not.

This article originally appeared last year.

Mark Wahlberg on "The Ellen Show."

When his daughter Grace was 10 years old, actor Mark Wahlberg attended a daddy-daughter dance with her. Sadly, Grace had no interest in seeing her father strutting his stuff on the dance floor. "I didn't get one dance," Wahlberg told Ellen DeGeneres. "And I told her we were going to do the whole big circle and I was going to go off. And she said, 'Dad, if you embarrass me, I will never talk to you again.' But what she did do is she hung out with me."

No matter who your dad is, especially if you're a 10-year-old-girl, you have zero desire to see him dance in front of your friends. But the parents at the dance probably would have had a blast seeing Wahlberg bust out some of his old-school '90s Marky Mark moves. However, Wahlberg couldn't help but leave his mark on the music being played at the dance.

marky mark, mark wahlberg, good vibrationsMark Wahlberg was known as "Marky Mark" in the 90s.Giphy

Let's not forget, he didn't get famous for his acting but for showing off his abs in the "Good Vibrations" video.

Being that Wahlberg's time as a pop star was three decades ago, he couldn't believe it when he heard the music being played at the dance.

"[Grace] sat there on the edge of the stage, by the DJ. And then I'm sitting there with one other dad and I'm like, 'This is not an edited version of this song. There are explicit lyrics being played at a school dance for girls and I'm like no good,'" he said.

"I told the DJ and he's like, 'Oh, I thought it was.' I said, 'What are you doing?' I'm hearing F-bombs and this and that's not okay," Wahlberg said.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

He's right. There's no place for music with explicit lyrics at a dance for 10-year-old children.

Wahlberg says the DJ didn't know he wasn't playing the edited version, but it's probably more likely that he didn't even realize the song was a problem. Pop music these days is filled with a numbing amount of violent and misogynistic lyrics.

A recent study from the University of Missouri found that nearly one-third of pop songs contain lyrics that degrade or demean women by portraying them as submissive or sexually objectified.

Currently, three of the top five songs on the Billboard Top 40 contain the word "bitch." One of them is sung in Korean.

profanity, foul language, swearing"Your language is offensive!" Giphy

It's odd that Americans have become more sensitive to misogyny in pop culture in films, television, and comedy, but still have a huge cultural blind-spot when it comes to music.

That's not a good thing, especially when pop music is marketed to teenagers.

"We know that music has a strong impact on young people and how they view their role in society," said Cynthia Frisby, a professor in the Missouri School of Journalism.

"Unlike rap or hip-hop, pop music tends to have a bubbly, uplifting sound that is meant to draw listeners in," Frisby continued. "But that can be problematic if the lyrics beneath the sound are promoting violence and misogynistic behavior."

profanity, swearing, f-bombs, music lyricsMusic lyrics can be highly inappropriate for youngsters.Photo credit: Canva

Let's face it, pop stars are role models. Their examples show young people what to wear and how to behave. That's not to say that kids will blindly follow someone just because they like their music. But it has an undeniable effect.

Wahlberg, and any parent who monitors what their kids are listening to, deserve credit for protecting the minds and hearts of their kids.

Frisby has some great advice for parents concerned about negative imagery in pop music.

"Ask your daughters and sons what songs they like to listen to and have conversations about how the songs might impact their identity," Frisby said.

"For example, many songs might make young girls feel like they have to look and act provocative in order to get a boy to like them, when that isn't necessarily the case. If children and teens understand that what they are hearing isn't healthy behavior, then they might be more likely to challenge what they hear on the radio."

He's right. There's no place for music with explicit lyrics at a dance for 10-year-old children.

parental advisory, explicit content, explicit lyricsParental Advisory Explicit Content warnings are there for a reason.Giphy

Wahlberg says the DJ didn't know he wasn't playing the edited version, but it's probably more likely that he didn't even realize the song was a problem. Pop music these days is filled with a numbing amount of violent and misogynistic lyrics.

A recent study from the University of Missouri found that nearly one-third of pop songs contain lyrics that degrade or demean women by portraying them as submissive or sexually objectified.

Currently, three of the top five songs on the Billboard Top 40 contain the word "bitch." One of them is sung in Korean.

It's odd that Americans have become more sensitive to misogyny in pop culture in films, television, and comedy, but still have a huge cultural blind-spot when it comes to music.

That's not a good thing, especially when pop music is marketed to teenagers.

music lyrics, misogyny, pop culture, explicit contentPeople often brush off misogynistic lyrics in modern music.Photo credit: Canva

"We know that music has a strong impact on young people and how they view their role in society," said Cynthia Frisby, a professor in the Missouri School of Journalism.

"Unlike rap or hip-hop, pop music tends to have a bubbly, uplifting sound that is meant to draw listeners in," Frisby continued. "But that can be problematic if the lyrics beneath the sound are promoting violence and misogynistic behavior."

Let's face it, pop stars are role models. Their examples show young people what to wear and how to behave. That's not to say that kids will blindly follow someone just because they like their music. But it has an undeniable effect. Wahlberg, and any parent who monitors what their kids are listening to, deserve credit for protecting the minds and hearts of their kids.

Frisby has some great advice for parents concerned about negative imagery in pop music.

"Ask your daughters and sons what songs they like to listen to and have conversations about how the songs might impact their identity," Frisby said.

"For example, many songs might make young girls feel like they have to look and act provocative in order to get a boy to like them, when that isn't necessarily the case. If children and teens understand that what they are hearing isn't healthy behavior, then they might be more likely to challenge what they hear on the radio."

This article originally appeared five years ago.

Popular

Why do we eat chicken eggs, duck eggs, and quail eggs, but not turkey eggs?

They're perfectly edible and apparently quite tasty, but you never see them on a menu.

Have you ever eaten a turkey egg?

When we talk about eating eggs in the U.S., we're almost always talking about chicken eggs. Occasionally, we might see duck eggs or quail eggs on the menu in a gourmet restaurant, and even more rarely something exotic like an emu egg. But do we ever see turkey eggs being served? Nope, never. (At least I never have, nor has anyone I've asked about this.)

Considering how many turkeys are raised domestically in the U.S. (around 220 million) and how many wild turkeys roam among us (around 7 million), you'd think we'd make better use of their eggs. They are egg-laying birds, after all, and since turkey meat is so similar to chicken meat, it seems logical that turkey eggs would be similar to chicken eggs, right?

turkey eggs, eating eggs, chicken eggs, egg productionTurkey eggs are larger than chicken eggs with a thicker shell.Photo credit: Canva

Right. Basically, that's true. Turkey eggs are larger than chicken eggs and they have a stronger shell, but from what people say, they're similar to eating chicken eggs only a little richer. Larger and richer, and yet we don't eat them on the regular? Why the heck not?

The Self-Sufficient Backyard YouTube channel explains the whole thing in a video that's been viewed by nearly 4 million people. Clearly, this is a burning question for people once it's brought to their attention.

- YouTubeyoutube.com

Basically, what it boils down to is that their size makes them hard to handle, package, and store. Turkeys also aren't nearly as prolific as chickens. (Chickens lay eggs around once per day, while turkeys lay at most twice per week.) It's also more expensive to raise turkeys than chickens, so the price of a turkey egg is prohibitive, at around $3 per egg. Considering how everyone lost their minds over chicken eggs at $6 a dozen, it's unlikely people would pay $36 for a dozen turkey eggs.

However, some people who have eaten turkey eggs shared their thoughts on how they taste, and now people (me, I am people) really want to try them:

"I have eaten turkey eggs for years. They are larger shells are thicker but they taste wonderful."

"I've baked with Turkey eggs and they made the best pancakes I have EVER tasted."

"They taste like chicken eggs, I have turkeys. They only lay seasonally, generally starting in March, and they’ll continue to lay through June-August. They can lay 60ish eggs a year. They’re about 2x the volume of a chicken egg. They make excellent omelettes. Harder to crack, with a thicker membrane and shell."

turkey eggs, wine, eating turkey eggsTurkey eggs on the menu.Photo credit: Canva

"Growing up, my family had a turkey! She laid eggs and we were always enamored by how huge they were. They taste wonderful!"

"We had turkeys with our chickens. They laid eggs daily with the chickens from March to September then would stop while the chickens would just slow down. I was surprised because I thought they would just lay a clutch once or twice because that’s what the wild turkeys do but nope. The only down fall we found was that cracking them was difficult. But if you use a butter knife to give it a whack at the top it works pretty well. It was like getting two egg whites and one yolk in chicken egg ratio lol."

"Taste exactly like chicken eggs. Way bigger. The only difference is the shell is way tougher to crack. So good."

Apparently experience with turkeys and turkey eggs is not uncommon? City folks, take note:

"I was raised on turkey's eggs... I come in from a part of Canada where we are raising turkeys. In Valcartier, turkey eggs used to be much cheaper than any other kind of eggs."

"Growing up on a farm being born in the 50s in western North Carolina we ate lots of turkey eggs. We usually had a dozen or so hen turkeys so we had quite a few to spare."

turkeys, wild turkeys, turkey eggsTurkeys live all over the U.S.Giphy/Minnesota State University Moorhead

"My inlaws usually give us turkey eggs for the holidays. They have a big farm in Virginia with all sorts of animals. They usually just sell their eggs at the local market and give us the rest lol."

"The wild turkeys that live in my area used to get in my bird feeders when I had a house. One day I found an egg in the yard, possibly as payment lol."

"I've got a turkey for a pet. Her name is "Sweetpea" and I keep her around for no other reason except that she's awesome and provides good conversation. Every now and then during the warm months of the year she leaves me breakfast somewhere around the yard."

And then, just for funsies, there's this little anecdote about those "technically edible" emu eggs:

"Back in elementary school we had a teacher that raised Emus. She would always make delicious cakes but would tell no one how she made them. Eventually she told my mother the reasons she told no one was because she was afraid that people would stop eating them if they found out that she was using one emu egg for every three chicken eggs. We didn’t care."

There you go. Answering a question you may never have asked but desperately needed and answer to once you thought about it.


Chelsie Gleason confronts a man who was harassing her.

In 2021, a video on TikTok posted by Chelsie Gleason garnered more than 12 million views because of the way she assertively told a man who who was harassing her to get away. Gleason was filming herself lifting weights when a man approached her attempting to strike up a conversation. She ignored him and was wearing earbuds, but the man didn't get the point.

"I was just trying to work out when this happens," a voiceover says in the video taken at a Crunch Fitness gym. "I've never met this guy and he's been harassing me for months." Finally, Gleason had enough and snapped at the man. "Don't come near me," she said confidently as she dropped her weights and took a step back. The man immediately turned and briskly walked away. You can tell she got her point across because he looked like he wanted to get out of there fast.

@_chesslee_

being a female is fun(:

Registered dietitian Carrie Taylor says that Gleason did the right thing by telling the man to stop while he was harassing her. She says that if you tell someone to stop harassing you at the gym and they persist, to immediately talk to the manager and threaten to call the police if swift action isn't taken.

She also says you should also get a restraining order if necessary. Do anything to stop the harassment because it could intensify. Gyms should also prominently post signs that warn people about sexual harassment so that these situations don't happen in the first place.

gym, man, harassment, workout, gym safetyMan at gym.Canva Photos

After the video went viral, Crunch Fitness announced it had found the man and banned him from its facilities.

"Our philosophy at Crunch is 'no judgments,' where we promote positive self-esteem and respect all races, cultures and nationalities in a fun atmosphere," a spokesperson for Crunch Fitness told Newsweek in 2021. "All of our gyms are committed to creating a safe and welcoming environment for all members."

"He's been found and as been banned! Thank you @CrunchFitness," Gleason wrote in the comment section.

One person in the comments made an important point about why this type of harassment is so dangerous: "Imagine if a shyer girl is walking to her car at night and he's out there...he needs to be kicked out," they wrote. Who knows what the man's intentions were and whether he was grooming her for something truly terrible?

This isn't the first time Gleason has faced harassment in the gym. She's tweeted about it several times in the past. It's clear from the video that she's hit a breaking point.

Four years on from the incident, Gleason keeps the video pinned at the top of her TikTok page. Unfortunately, this is necessary to keep raising awareness about unsafe situations for women at gyms and showing women how to handle themselves when these situations happen. A quick search on TikTok will return numerous videos of women in similar situations to Gleason confronting creepy men at the gym. Various publications have also written about women facing harassment at their gyms over the years, from feature writer Sirin Kale's 2020 piece about sexism, stalking, and surveillance in The Guardian, to the BBC 2023 feature, "The TikTok trends calling out gym harassment against women."

Earlier this year, WellHub published a survey they'd taken of over 150 women in the U.S. regarding their experience with in-gym harassment. Other publications such as The New York Post, have published pieces about what women have to face while working out, aptly calling it misogyny.

woman, gym, safety, workout, misogyny, harassmentWoman at the gym.Canva Photos

Gleason's brave decision to confront the man put an end to his creepy, threatening behavior in the moment. But the video may serve a greater purpose by showing women how to react to men who harass them. Further, it could also deter men from harassing women in the first place by showing them there are serious consequences for being a creep.

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

Joy

A Black woman and white man share a refreshing exchange and it offers healing for us all

She expected the worst when a white man approached her overheated vehicle. But what she received instead brought her to tears.

@realbillygotti/Instagram

We need more moments like these.

Of course, racism and hatred are very real issues, and ones that we must discuss in order to make progress. But with all the coverage of people behaving badly flooding our awareness through the media and online, it can be easy to write off humanity entirely. To believe that the world is inherently a divisive, dangerous, and ultimately declining place to live. When in reality, not everything is so bleak.

That’s what makes sharing this story so important.

In December of 2023, a Black woman named Jo'lee Shine was stuck in her overheated car in front of a stranger's house, waiting for a tow truck to arrive.

racism, karens, wholesome moments, southern hospitality, kindness, atlantaJo’lee preparing for the worst. @realbillygotti/Instagram

When a white man, the homeowner, began approaching her, Jo'lee immediately started recording the interaction. And thank goodness she did, because this was a moment worth immortalizing.

“I'm so sorry, my car ran hot,” she says in the clip, and begins trying to start the car to prove her situation.

And then, in the sweetest southern accent you ever heard, we hear “don’t try to crank it baby.”

When then hear him offer to put water in the car, made sure Jo'lee had coming to pick her up, and then…wait for it…asked if she wanted lunch.

"We’ll be eating lunch shortly. While we wait on [the tow truck] if we get everything set up I’ll come get you and we’ll have dinner,” he says.

This brings Jo’lee to instant tears. “That was so sweet,” she whimpers.

racism, karens, wholesome moments, southern hospitality, kindness, atlantaJo’lee in tears after being invited to share a meal. @realbillygotti/Instagram

With a chuckle, the man replies, “that’s the way we are.” he then shared how he just had 22 people over at his house the night before for “a family gathering.”

Jo’lee declines the lunch offer, but profusely thanks the kind stranger as she wipes the tears that continue to fall. Just before he goes, the man says that he’ll check back in, joking that the tow truck “might be delayed” and she might change her mind.

In her caption, Jo’lee wrote, “I wasn’t going to post this, but I wanted people to know that they’re still good people in this world.”

Seems like that mission was accomplished. The video, which has gotten over 176,000 likes on Instagram, gave everyone a little dose of hope. Just take a look at some of these lovely comments:

“This is who we are...it sucks that movies have put fear in people to that level. That makes me sad that there's fear and division keeping us all from sharing love that I KNOW is in all of us.”

“The media works to divide us, don't believe their lies. We love all people.. God Bless.”

"I'll come get you when we get dinner on the table?!!" ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹🔥🔥🔥🔥🙌🙌”

“The way he called you baby without a mean tone in his soul.”

“This renews my faith in humanity. He tried to help her without any thought of race.”

“Just when we think humanity has died, this happens ♥️. Human kindness for the win.”

Indeed, the world has its’ Karens…and even worse characters. But it also has people who invite strangers to dinner, just because it’s a nice thing to do…because it’s the “way they are.” It’s the way a lot of us are, when we let ourselves be.

This article originally appeared two years ago