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In 1983 actor Harvey Fierstein bravely shared what it means to be gay in prime-time TV interview

“I assume that everyone is gay unless I'm told otherwise," he told Barbara Walters.

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Harvey Fierstein explains what it means to be gay to Barbara Walters.

If you want to know what it was like to be gay in the United States in the 1980s, an interview on ABC’s “20/20” where one of America’s prominent journalists, Barbara Walters, talked to 29-year-old Broadway legend Harvey Fierstein, is a great place to start. In 1983, Fierstein was the hottest thing on Broadway” with 2 hit shows: “La Cage aux Folles” and “Torch Song Trilogy.” But even though he was the talk of the town, Walters treats his homosexuality as if it is something foreign and threatening.

At the time, Fierstein was a rarity in pop culture—an openly gay male celebrity and his “Torch Song Trilogy” dared to do the unthinkable: humanize homosexual relationships. Fierstein later found mainstream success in films, starring alongside Robin Williams in “The Birdcage,” a movie version of “La Cage aux Folles,” and “Mrs. Doubtfire.”

In 1983, Fiersten sat down with Walters for a prime-time interview where he made the case that homosexuality wasn’t a deviant lifestyle and that it’s much more prevalent than most people think, especially in the arts.

“What's it like to be a homosexual,” Walters asked the actor, writer and one-time drag queen, point-blank. “I don't know. I'm just a person. I'm a person who sees the world in the opposite light than you do, that's all. But I see the exact same world as you do. I assume that everyone is gay unless I'm told otherwise. You assume everyone's straight unless you're told otherwise,” he told Walters and the millions of viewers watching at home.

Fierstein went on to dismiss the myth that homosexuality was caused by a strong mother and a weak father by noting that his brother was straight. He added that people must be born gay because LGBTQ people are found in every part of the world. “I mean you have to you have to start from the basics, 10% of the world is gay,” Fierstein said. “You got to stop with the ‘this is a sickness,’ ‘this is an abnormality.’ This is a normal thing that has gone on through the history of man. It has always been 10% of the population has never been bred out.”

In the interview, Fierstein also debunks the notion that homosexual people can’t enjoy the same type of committed romantic relationships as heterosexuals. “Those are not heterosexual experiences and those are not heterosexual words. Those are human words. Love, commitment, family belong to all people,” Fierstein said. "It is the norm in the homosexual community. It is not the norm in what you see on the news and all that. But what you see on the news and what you see in print are the bars.”



Fierstein added that when a happy lesbian couple stays together for 70 years, it doesn’t make the news. “Monogamy is as prevalent a disease in homosexuality as it is in heterosexuality. It's all the life choice that you make for yourself,” he joked.

The interview is a fascinating time capsule of a world right before the AIDS epidemic when LGBTQ people began coming out of the closet in increasing numbers to help fight the deadly pandemic. In the interview, Fierstein, as one of the few out and proud gay male role models, was forced to share simple truths about gay life that, 40-plus years later, most people have come to understand. It took a lot of courage for Firestein to speak his truth on such a big stage, and he did so fearlessly and with love and humor.

You can watch the entire interview here.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

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An adorable grandma casually came out to her granddaughter while talking about relationships

It's never too late.

via wap rem x / Twitter

As society has become more accepting of LGBTQ people, the average age people come out of the closet has dropped significantly, from 37 among those in their 60s to 21 for those in their 30s.

However, many people, especially those who are older, are never able to come out because of societal or familial pressures.

An adorable new video that went viral on TikTok shows it's never too late to be your true self. A woman named Aimee was having a conversation with her grandmother — who she assumed was straight — when she admitted to being attracted to women.

Aimee thought it was so important that she had to capture the conversation on video.

Aimee wanted to know if it was just a sisterly love or sexual attraction. "Do you like prefer women's bodies?" Aimee asked.

"I think so, yeah" the grandmother answered. "I think boobs are nice. I think the penis, not that keen on it," she said with a grimace.

Aimee asked her grandmother what age the perfect woman would be and she said, "late 60s," and Aimee jokingly called her a "cougar."

"I just like women anyhow," the grandma said. "I've never liked men that much."

However, Aimee's grandma isn't quite ready to hit the dating scene yet. "At the moment Aimee, all I want to do is survive," she admitted.


This article originally appeared on 9.19.20

LGBTQ
Family

Mom shares her wholesome and hilarious response to son’s letter coming out as transgender

However, she couldn't help but point out one mistake.

Twitter

Cherie Garcia posted her son's coming out letter on Twitter.

Cherie Garcia managed to score some major mom points from her response to her child's creative—yet slightly flawed—coming out letter.

Using colorful cut-out letters, Garcia's son Crow made a short letter coming out as transgender, which looked something like a ransom note. The message was meant to be: Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of your very own son.

Garcia was nonchalant about the announcement, but she did notice something unsettling that every mom would notice. And she was quick to point it out.

Aware that something was getting ready to transpire (mother's intuition, after all) Garcia told Crow's dad—her ex-husband—on the phone that Crow was "either working on homework or holding someone ransom" after walking by his room. She was relieved to find out that neither was the case.

Garcia's tweet read: "My teenager handed me this envelope and asked that I wait to open it until after he went to his dad's house. After opening it, I called to let him know that the *only* thing that's wrong with this is the 'r' he accidentally left out of congratulations." She concluded the tweet with a supportive trans and rainbow flag emoji. Thanks, mom.

Garcia and Crow make a game out of pointing out spelling errors on signs, so she felt especially compelled to call him out on that missing "r."

The follow-up tweet is really the kicker here. "There is nothing my kids could do to lose my support and unconditional love. My prayer for each of them is that they live life as their authentic selves, without compromise. My teen is figuring things out and I support him 100%, because God created both of my babies perfectly."

Garcia's welcoming embrace for her son, along with the bonus spelling lesson, soon went viral on Twitter. Comments came flooding in from other parents wanting to commiserate with the coming-out letters they had received.

"I love the drama of it," wrote one mom. "My own non binary kiddo nailed a note to their door in the middle of the night and declared that if we must refer to them to refer to them as our spawn. I commented on the atrocious handwriting."

Garcia's reply? "I'll call you Voltron if you want, but please spell it correctly."

Another person shared their own creative process while coming out, saying "I couldn't decide when I came out so I gave my parents 3 different cards. This was one" followed by a (really well done) image of Pinocchio saying "I'm a real boy."

Every kid just wants to be seen as perfect in their mom's eyes. Spelling is important (as Garcia jokingly stated on Twitter) but to a teenager going through a major identity transition, compassion and acceptance are crucial. Growing up and figuring yourself out is no easy process. But knowing mom is always gonna love you, no matter what, at least makes it seem a little less impossible.

Thanks Cherie Garcia for the spelling lesson and gesture of love all-in-one. And to Crow, "congatulations."


This article originally appeared on 11.18.21


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Equality

Wil Wheaton's locker room story shows exactly why homophobic jokes are a problem

One of the great rules of comedy is punch up, not down.

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Wil Wheaton | Wil Wheaton speaking at the 2018 Phoenix Comic… | Flickr

Comedy can be uplifting. And it can also be downright destructive. The rise of cancel culture has made us take a hard look at what we normalize for the sake of a good joke. And with Dave Chappelle’s controversial comedy special, that includes jokes which can be perceived as cruel or homophobic jabs by the LGBTQ community and allies.

At the same time, comedy is supposed to be disruptive, is it not? It’s meant to be audacious, bawdy, outrageous. And let’s not forget it’s often said sarcastically, meaning we don’t really believe what what's being said … right?

Wil Wheaton has previously given a brilliant take on how to separate the art from the artist. This time though, he’s confronting the art itself and what makes it problematic.

“For anyone who genuinely doesn't understand why I feel as strongly as I do about people like Chappelle making transphobic comments that are passed off as jokes, I want to share a story that I hope will help you understand, and contextualize my reaction to his behavior.”

Wheaton started off his story by sharing how he used to play ice hockey when he was 16, and one night enjoyed a warm welcome as a guest goalie. After a fun practice, Wheaton joined his teammates in the locker room.

“Before I tell you what happened next, I want to talk specifically about comedy and how much I loved it when I was growing up… One of the definitive comedy specials for me and my friends was Eddie Murphy's Delirious, from 1983. It had bits that still kill me… Really funny stuff.

There is also extensive homophobic material that is just…appalling and inexcusable. Long stretches are devoted to mocking gay people, using the slur that starts with F over and over and over. Young Wil, who watched this with his suburban white upper middle class friends, in his privileged bubble, thought it was the funniest, edgiest, dirtiest thing he'd ever heard… And all of it was dehumanizing to gay men… I didn't know any better. I accepted the framing, I developed a view of gay men as predatory, somehow less than straight men, absolutely worthy of mockery and contempt. Always good for a joke…

Wil Wheaton | Wil Wheaton at the Phoenix Comicon, on the Eur… | Flickrwww.flickr.com

…A comedian who I thought was one of the funniest people on the planet totally normalized making a mockery of gay people, and because I was a privileged white kid, raised by privileged white parents, there was nobody around me to challenge that perception. For much of my teen years, I was embarrassingly homophobic, and it all started with that comedy special.”

Here Wheaton pivots back to the locker room:

“So I'm talking with these guys…We're doing that sports thing where you talk about the great plays, and feel like you're part of something special.

And then, without even realizing what I was doing, that awful word came out of my mouth. ‘Blah blah blah F****t,’ I said.

The room fell silent and that's when I realized every single guy in this room was gay. They were from a team called The Blades (amazing) and I had just ... really fucked up.

"'Do you have any gay friends?" One of them asked me, gently.

"Yes," I said, defensively. Then, I lied, "they say that all the time." I was so embarrassed and horrified. I realized I had basically said the N word, in context, and I didn't know what to do. I wanted to disappear. I wanted to apologize, I wanted to beg forgiveness. But I was a stupid sixteen year-old with pride and ignorance and fear all over myself, so I lied to try and get out of it.

"They must not love themselves very much," he said, with quiet disappointment.

Nobody said another word to me. I felt terrible. I shoved my gear into my bag and left as quickly as I could.”

“That happened over 30 years ago, and I think about it all the time. I'm mortified and embarrassed and so regretful that I said such a hurtful thing. I said it out of ignorance, but I still said it, and I said it because I believed these men, who were so cool and kind and just like all the other men I played with (I was always the youngest player on the ice) were somehow less than ... I guess everyone. Because that had been normalized for me by culture and comedy.

A *huge* part of that normalization was through entertainment that dehumanized gay men in the service of "jokes". And as someone who thought jokes were great, I accepted it. I mean, nobody was making fun of *ME* that way…so…

This stuff that Chappelle did? …For a transgender person, those "jokes" normalize hateful, ignorant, bigoted behavior towards them. Those "jokes" contribute to a world where transgender people are constantly under threat of violence, because transgender people have been safely, acceptably, dehumanized. And it's all okay, because they were dehumanized by a Black man……Literally every queer person I know (and I know a LOT) is hurt by Chappelle's actions. When literally every queer person I know says "this is hurtful to me", I'm going to listen to them and support them, and not tell them why they are wrong…”

Wil Wheaton brings up some powerful points. While this is a complex issue, the insidious nature of dehumanizing jokes is pretty blatant. At some point we have to ask ourselves: Is it really worth harming someone else for the sake of a joke? When put that bluntly, the answer, I hope, is a resounding no.

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